#they just won’t and dad won’t fucking do anything about it

[pepprs]

why did march 14 2023 me schedule an ent checkup at 8:30 AM ON A TUESDAY. like omg she hated me so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#purrs #i thjnk i just wanted to minimize the risk of missing anything at work (💀) but im about to be so fucked. just spent an hour doing dishes and #it’s 1:08 so i won’t be in bed until 1:30 and won’t be asleep until who knows. and then i need to get up at 6:50ish so i can be ready to go #by 8:15. misery and despair. also this is terrible timing bc my mom just got her wisdom teeth out so everybody is stressed and miserable. #and i didn’t realize until too late that the ent appt is at 8:30 and my dad has to take me but also get pain relief stuff for my mom. godddd #delete later

[1ovestay]

won’t lie, experiencing some horrors

#just cried uncontrollably for like 20 mins #cried like 3 times yesterday too #i have no energy for like anything rn.. went to buy new glasses today tried on 15 pairs hated them all and then went back to my car #and cried because i really need new glasses since i fucked up my current pair and they don’t sit right now and dig into my face #tw death . my grandma passed away while i was flying home from canada #and it sucks because everyone got to be with her and say goodbye but i didn’t #and there’s a viewing tomorrow and my dad thinks i should go since it will be my last chance to see her but i don’t want to #i get that it’s a healing way to say goodbye for some people but i don’t want to see my oma lifeless #i know i’ll never get to see her again and that fucking sucks but she’s gone and i don’t want to see her like that #plus i have work and i already called in sick 2 days i don’t want to leave them short again even if it’s understandable #anyway the funeral is on tuesday at least i have the day off already and don’t have to worry about work #everything sucks soooooo fucking bad rn i won’t lie i’m not doing too great #and i miss el so much like i would kill to be able to hug my gf right now #their mom sent me a video today of them laying on the couch with their parents cat cuz they visited for father’s day #and i’ve cried twice while watching it… #argh. anyway. going to go watch a silly little video of some sort and maybe sleep early cause i haven’t been sleeping well #it’ll be ok 🧡 #p

[yay-depression]

thinking unhappy thoughts at 1 am except these can’t even be categorized into the “no feelings past 4pm in winter are real” bc it wasn’t inherently a negative thought it was a positive thought which upon saying aloud sounded really fucking sad

#i was thinking about how nice it was to meet someone i met this past week #and how great it felt and how i felt like we clicked so instantly #and then i was like #‘huh wonder why most social interactions feel this good to me?’ #and then i realized the difference was that this person actively introduced themselves to me and started conversation #as opposed to just about 90% of the social interactions i partake in which involve me sitting alone and being ignored #until i stand up and try and butt into some of my friends conversations in some way #anyways just thinking about how very few people seem to want to interact with me #nothing like real world experiences feeding into the deep-seeded belief i have that i’m inherently unloveable #and also that i’m inherently annoying but everyone is just too nice to tell me #i am not joking when i say i genuinely have trauma from being a neurodivergent person in the midwest #going from a life of ‘if people don’t like me they will tell me’ to ‘everyone seems to not like me but won’t say anything’ #as a child was a traumatic experience and created intense feelings of inadequacy and trust issues #which i was already really vulnerable to bc i was emotionally abused as a kid #so combine having a dad who says everything you do is wrong no matter how hard you try #with friends who refuse to say what you’re doing wrong but will hold grudges against it and will be mad at you for it #but every time you ask them they say ‘no we’re not mad!’ #plus literally like a decade of me trying to make friends in this fucking hellhole of a town and getting basically nothing but laughed at #and you can see why having a good social interaction for once is actually really fucking upsetting #because HOLY SHIT is that what life is SUPPOSED TO BE?? #you’re telling me most interactions i have with people make me feel bad not bc i have social anxiety but because i’m giving it 110% #and i’m getting back maybe 10%??? #anyways it’s wishing i didn’t live in this shithole place with these shitty people hours #and wishing the world was fucking nicer to me when i was a kid bc it was so rough for 13 year old me for no goddamn reason #every day is another day of realizing i literally didn’t have a time in my life when things weren’t falling apart #until i was literally 17 #kristen

[dragonairice]

It’s 11pm but does anyone have any life advice for what to do when your abusive/neglectful parents are trying to force you into getting a job at their office just because they make a ton of money and don’t want the business to go into the hands of your older brother but you don’t personally care and literally just turned 18 and haven’t even started college yet

because

man what the fuck am I even supposed to do?

they’re trying to send me there tomorrow to learn about how the office works and everything and I GET IT it’s USEFUL but I don’t… want to do that. Especially with my family.

#I don’t normally vent on here but I seriously need some advice #I want to prove to my parents that I CAN make a living for myself but they won’t even give me a debit card so I can’t start my redbubble ye #I’m literally writing a novel!!! It’s pretty good!!! AND THEY DON’T FUCKING CARE!!! #Ughhhh sorry just. Man I hate my family #Except my brother he’s fine #The one who’s on Tumblr #My mom keeps telling us that she and dad could drop dead any day so we need to be ready to take over the business #Which. Ma’am. you call ME a pessimist and then just say shit like that??? #Just realised my bestie is on tumblr now and might see this post… um. Hi Espurr if you’re reading this don’t worry 👍 #I’m feeling very vaguely suicidal but not enough to do anything about it it’s okay I won’t um… try the stuff I’ve tried again #Tw abuse #tw suicide #tw neglect #DragonairIce Rambles

[szczylpierdolony]

regretting getting festival ticket. but i know i would also regret not getting it

#for different reasons #ig this is how i feel about every decision i’ve made recently #thinking about it makes me sick i’m so stressed out why did i agree to go #i need to kill myself but i can’t do that without a trigger and my dad hasn’t been shitty for a week or two #i’m just. the most unhappy i’ve been in months and there is nothing waiting for me that will make it better #i should’ve started taking meds again but i didn’t and now the prescription has expired #well. not now it’s been like 2 months #idk why maybe bc i don’t think they’d change anything maybe bc my family was weird about them #but the last time i brought this up with my mom she got angry at me for trying to blame her #like yeah shit sorry hearing you complain abt me taking medication affected the way i look at it #bc now she’s all for it but i don’t think i believe her #it’s always 'what do they even do they won’t fix you' bc i guess it never crossed her mind they aren’t meant to cure anything #but rather help manage everyday life #whatever i’ve been having trouble with sleep again too #i’m just so so fucking tired all the time and when i get home all i can do is lay down #and i fall asleep but it’s shallow and i’m just stuck barely conscious having dreams which i hate #i need to look if i can return the ticket

[cr0wc0rpse]

Chanting to myself don’t think about the dread don’t think about the hopelessness don’t think about how I’m always depressed don’t think about how I might never get better don’t think about how useless I feel don’t think about my current life situation . Focus on watching this stream and getting tired

#I don’t *think* I’m depressed right now and all that but goddamn. doing anything is so hard and I feel bad #although. I have been off all my meds (other than my mood stabilizer. which I’m only taking half my full dose of) for uhhh. 3 weeks? #I have been out of them and the pharmacy is fucking impossible #my dad won’t pick them up and it’s hard for me to get to because I don’t drive and they never fucking answer the phone + the site sucks #so I can’t get them delivered #so like. I’m trying to tell myself I will get normaler once I’m back on my meds. but. #I really don’t think they’ve been helping much anyway. like I’m definitely going to keep taking them! I’m not saying ‘fuck my meds’ #I’m just. very stuck and not improving. my mood is technically stable but stable in being constantly low #god it’s just about 1am. I know not to trust my thoughts rn but I’m not very tired so it’s hard to not think about them #jesus this is a long fucking post. sorry! #dead text

[autoneurotic]

i know i’ve talked about my horrifyingly vivid nightmares on here before (and definitely in therapy!) but like. how on earth do you stop them. i’m not anxious in my waking life, the anti anxiety/sleep medication i take just gives me different kinds of vivid nightmares. what’s a guy to do

#my therapist was just like. yeah! dreams are nuts we don’t really know what’s up with them #like ok! why WHY why are mine LIKE THIS. usually it’s tight #but i’m dreaming only about like. my family and it’s god fucking awful #had one the other night i was in a. space station w my dad and mama and i checked my phone #and we all had missed calls from my sister and a voicemail that was like well! the world is ending and i’m still here! love you all! #and then um like the moon burst like a balloon (honestly looked like jean jacket in nope) #and that fucked with gravity and sucked our ship round and round closer to the sun #ones where my mom isn’t my mom she’s some scary awful dream mom #sometimes she leaves me behind or won’t let me come home #or sometimes she’s being sooo mean to my sister and it makes me so sad #and none of it is REAL! #we all love each other we’re all on good terms i miss the hell out of my sister n mom who are in different states #but AHHHHH it fucks with me #i had one last night that my partner died #which is a real life fear of mine. i don’t know what i would do if anything happened to him #n in my dream i was talking to someone about and saw an old couple walk by holding hands #and my loss and heartbreak felt SO REAL..like that should be US old and in love! #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[rosicheeks]

What's wrong Princess?

.

#idk if I even want to talk about it #like I do but I don’t #my dad sat me down and basically said that every night that I’m out late he’s been sitting up awake cause he’s worried and can’t sleep #cause he’s scared I’m going to get pulled over and my car is going to get impounded and he won’t be able to pay for it #idk there’s so many things going through my mind #I miss my old place so fucking much…. like I had no clue it was going to be this fucking hard #I miss being able to do whatever the fuck I wanted and smoke inside or leave when I wanted and just be independent #I wish my parents understood and wasn’t completely against weed #I wish it was easier to talk to them about this and literally everything #I wish I wasn’t such a disappointment to them #I think that’s what has been getting to me the most #I just want my parents to be proud of me #right now I feel like all they think I am is an unemployed stoner who isn’t doing anything with my life #when I’m trying SO HARD #I also just loved having that time to myself #going out to the car from 9-2/3am and being able to smoke and do whatever I want #it was a chance to breathe and ya know take a second to think #but now I don’t feel like I can go out late anymore #cause I don’t want my dad to lose sleep over me and how worried he gets #I wish my life was different #I’m all over the place cause my mind is racing and I’m crying #I just want to cuddle #but since I can’t #I wanna smoke #but now I can’t #so I guess I’ll go to bed #cry myself to sleep #cause idk when the last time I went to bed before midnight #and it’s 10:30 #ask

[fleshdyke]

hejehge

#i cant wait to get out of this fucking house #still a few years until i can legally move out and even then i probably won’t be able to for a few more years bc of money #my dad gets mad at me for showing any emotion ever or being anything other than the perfect golden child #no one will fucking believe me that im autistic and disabled #i get fatigued from walking out of a fucking restaurant to the parking lot! look me in the eyes and tell me thats normal! #but just because im fat thats the reason for all my issues #thats why i have chronic pain and i just don’t exercise enough when they fucking know IM IN RECOVERY FOR ANOREXIA #and my dad wont stop talking about weight loss in front of me even when i ask him to stop because its triggering for me because im #just a fucking snowflake i guess #one time i asked him to stop talking about his diet or whatever when im around and he said no but i could use it myself! AND HE WONDERS WHY #IM FUCKING RELAPSING AGAIN #literally the past entire week i’ve just been repeating ‘no food is as harmful as an eating disorder’ bc its all that will fucking stop me #and he wont believe that i have tics for some reason so i have to fucking suppress them all around him if i dont want to get screamed at #and mid july of 2022 im still not vaccinated for covid. bc my dad is a conservative that doesnt give enough of a shit about me to get it #the only vaccinated person in my family is my mom and my dad didnt want her to get it either #but she says shes an adult so she has bodily autonomy #do i not fucking deserve that? do i not get bodily autonomy bc im a minor? fuck you #and i’ve told both my parents multiple times that i dont like when people touch me without permission except for my friends #ESPECIALLY ON MY FUCKING HIPS AND THIGHS AND ASS #BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAY BC THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT I WANT #i dont fucking care how shitty adulthood is i dont care aboyt the stresses it gives me i just want to be fucking out of here #i want to be out of here i want to be with people that fucking respect me like my parents don’t #i don’t want to be abused anymore i just want to feel safe in my own fucking home #and i feel like such a spoiled brat because i have everything i need given to me because im a fucking child but im complaining anyways and #logically i know i have every right to complain bc theyre not giving me privileges theyre givimg me basic human rights and even then only #some of them. i dont have fucjing bodily autonomy from the people i should be able to expect it from and i dont have respect or fucking love #the only thing keeping me fucking alive right now is the promise that one day i’ll get out of here #and its fucking terrifying knowing you’re relapsing into anorexia again but its so fucking hard to stop it #its got a fucking grip on me and its so fucking hard to get out of it #vent

[o-ceti]

frustrated to tears by technology and nazi freaks not necessarily in that order but fuck!!!

#antisemitism in tags #when i was 12 my mom and i made a silly youtube video of a cat puppet dancing to hava nagila #and my dad just got an email saying someone commented on it #and it’s some fucking qanon 4chan brain rot nazi that posted some antisemitic fucking comment on this 13 year old youtube video #that I cannot delete because I can’t log into that old account! #it was made w a yahoo email so when they changed to google only i must have made a google account for it at some point #but i don’t know the password and it won’t let me reset it without a prior password as if I would know that either #i mean it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things bc like I said the vid is 13 yrs old and not very entertaining so it’s not like the #exposure of the comment is large #but it makes me fucking angry bc I know reporting the comment isn’t going to do shit bc youtube doesn’t care about nazis on their website #i can’t even delete the video or the account or anything UGGGHHHHHHH

[officialheroesofolympus]

.

#okay so idk where to talk about this cos I feel attention seeking for some reason if I tell people irl so I’m just gonna dump it here lmao #few days ago had genuinely the most fucking scariest experience of my life I was sitting at a taxi stand waiting for my dad to pick me up #it’s like almost pitch black around 8.30-9pm for some reason and this guy comes out of his car shouting at the driver and threw a bag down #I just kept my head down didn’t look up cos um ok man with anger issues I guess #he sits next to me and after a while I hear hi repeatedly and I realise he’s talking to me and I thought oh maybe he needs directions so #I look up and he starts asking personal questions and shit and asking for my number and I just become paralysed from fear idk #I answer all his questions idk why I was just really scared he’d get angry and there was no one around and when he asked for my number I #told him oh parents said I cant give out numbers to strangers and also I’m pretty young and I tell him I’m 15 hoping it’d deter him #and he just tells me he’s 20 and continues asking and saying he just wants to be friends and at that point I was really really #fuck idk I was just really scared and no one was around us and it’s pitch black and it’s so stupid I was trembling a bit but thank god my #dad came and I just dashed to the car I fuck it’s so stupid he didn’t do anything but shit #and now it’s dumb I’m scared to go back to that station like I know he won’t be there but fuck that was actually the worst experience of my #life I should’ve gotten up and walked away but idk why I froze up #delete later

[the-breloominati]

#this has been bugging me for days now but it turns out my dad’s been listening to russ*a today #which I mean. it checks out cause of what he’s been saying #but it’s so fucking frustrating I swear to god #*searching google* how to explain to someone that their main source of info on ukra*ne shouldn’t be russ*an state propaganda #like fuck dude idk have you ever considered that maybe the country invading another country would want to #perpetuate a narrative that justifies the invasion #doesn’t fucking help that my dad seems to take almost every opportunity to be all ‘b*den bad put*n good’ #and what makes it worse is that my mom and I can’t say anything overly contradictory without risking starting something #(that something being getting yelled at about how we’re wrong and he’s right without being able to get a word in cause he won’t stfu) #I’m just tired dude #like one evening he was talking to my mom about politics and said something that suggested he might vote red #and I was like ‘you’re not going to be voting red in november are you’ and he was like ‘yes actually’ and so I made the mistake of engaging #and eventually we got on the topic of ukra*ne (because of course) and he’s blaming the invasion on fucking zelinsky #(idk how to spell his name exactly sorry >.>) #and like. how fucking deep do you have to be to come to that conclusion #so I tried to explain to him that putin’s literally the one who decided to invade in the first place (UNPROVOKED) #and he wouldn’t fucking listen #like I’m sorry to anyone who reads for burdening you with it or whatever but i’m just really fucking frustrated #god and don’t even get me fucking started on his shitty takes about gender and all the rest of the shit going on rn in the us #god man and in that discussion I mentioned earlier he brought of george fl*yd and ahmaud (?) arb*ry for some fucking reason #and still wants to vote red despite them being the same party that will blame those two (and several others) for their deaths #i’m frustrated and tired man

[queenangella]

my moms disappointed in me that I told my aunt to shut up and follow my grandmas schedule cause she tried to force dessert out so she could leave earlier but what is she gonna do? ignore me? did that already for two years. look mad at me? would be like n improvement from last years Christmas where she literally didn’t look at me once let alone talk to me

#actually was kinda different I just can’t stand when I say my opinion and other people are like ‘well I just won’t say anything anymore the #:)’ #she was like ‘okay you can decide everything and I wont say anything anymore:)’ and I was like ‘yeah that’s right cause this is not your #fucking house so you don’t actually get to decide everything:) shut up:)’ #no one fucking likes you and your cheap ass gifts and your mediocre grocery store bought snacks #now my moms like ok next time just be quiet and go along with her to keep the peace like bitch I will literally start a feud I don’t care #I should keep the peace?? bc if there’s be a feud people would side with me over her ten times over #you really think people will side with her when I’m the one who helped set everything up and made gourmet aperos and gave my grandma #something handcrafted to thank her for hosting us while she cant barely bother to show up at her own mom twice a year at Christmas and #easter?? bc she lives a whole two hours away?? bitch when I lived three countries over I saw my grandma more than you did #your husband wasn’t even allowed out of the house for his own dads funeral you think even he’s gonna side with you?? bitch #don’t wanna sound like a snob cause I really don’t care about cheap gifts or grocery story snacks but you have to realise she and her #husband are both doctors and rich and they have a nanny for their twenty year old kids who also cooks and cleans and they live right next to #two famous people and have a vacation house in portugal and also zero friends you really tell me she can’t do better than a five euro gift #for secret Santa when the decided on amount was twenty euros?

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#my dad has all these big ideas about some settlement or another he’s going to win #someone has always fucked him over and he can sue them in some way or another #someone always owes him something for some kind of wrong they’ve done #and maybe he’s right and maybe he has some good arguments within the law #but the problem is that he won’t actually do anything to get these gains he keeps talking about #to win a lawsuit you have to file one #to win a lawsuit you have to compile evidence and file appropriate paperwork and put in actual work #and that’s something he just won’t do even though he always says he will #he always says he’s working on it and he’s definitely going to do what he needs to do to make it happen #but then he never actually does and he always has some excuse for why he hasn’t or doesn’t need to or whatever #I’m just tired of hearing these wishy washy dreams of his that won’t come to fruition #I don’t have it in me to keep supporting this kind of nonsense anymore #nothing ever pays off and it usually requires some large amount of work on my part to ‘help him’ #and he’ll promise me some exorbitant payment but that doesn’t help me if I don’t ever end up getting the money #giving me a damn headache today #personal

[thatonceandfutureprat]

Still trying to trap the last mouse.

I’ve got three traps (live catching) in strategic places, clearly the mouse is getting exhausted bc today I actually s a w it (you generally don’t) AND it keeps trying to get out by returning to the gap in the closet through which it came in.

Buddy. There’s a trap in the kitchen cabinet with seeds, a French fry AND now also a cookie in it.

All you need to do is chew the wire to get to it. There’s a nice home elsewhere for you, I promise.

Please get in. Please?

#also saying this bc I’m about to bring one of my cats in to do the job #and that won’t end nicely #Bregje is adorable but also fucking fast and my dad likes letting her loose in the hallways to the house to catch any stragglers there #which she happily does #and I’d like my sleep and sanity back #and also the use of my kitchen #it and its previous friends were hiding behind there and knowing that I just can’t use ANYTHING in the cabinets at this point #not my pans not my cutlery… #I’ve got a small selection washed off and tucked into locked box but it’s not ideal #besides it’s just gross 🤢 #as a pet? sure. that’s a choice. #I didn’t choose this #at this point I have to wonder if the mouse has chosen this fate for itself too #(also our farm is currently a bit overrun bc rodents ‘come home’ for winter and my mom is a little frivolous with feeding our chickens)

[xxblairexxss]

A fresh start

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x singlemom!reader

Theme : Angst, fluff

Word count : 4.2k

Part 2

Requested!

In which Charles had a crush on the new member of the team without knowing he was already a good friend of her toddler.

It gets a little heavy near the end so heads up! Not proofread!

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

"There seems to be a problem with the downforce. It kind of eats the tyre quite a lot."

Charles felt a touch on his hip while he was too busy listening to the engineers. Looking down, he saw a small kid patting on his leg, while the other hand seemed to be offering him something. "Hey, are you giving this to me?" He asked, pulling the headset from his ear as he crouched down.

"Yeah! My mom always gives me candy whenever I am stressed with my homework. You can—oh." The little kid fumbled with the wrapping paper that was securely wrapped around the lollipop. "I can’t take the plastic off for you. Sorry…"

"Oh, it’s okay. Let me help you." Charles twiddled with the wrapper as it went loose before he pulled it off. "There! Oh, for me? Are you sure?"

"No stress! Bye bye!" The toddler waved and sprinted off, leaving Charles with the strawberry lollipop in his hand.

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"Any idea who she is?" Charles nudged Joris and tipped his chin towards the girl who was across the room.

"She’s part of the communication executive." Joris took a quick glance and went back to his phone.

"I have never seen her before." His eyes were latched on the girl, seeing the way she talked with her hands, nodding and smiling at whatever the other girl was talking about.

"She just joined the team."

"What’s her name?" Charles nudged Joris again, causing him to heave a sigh and stand up.

"Y/N!" Joris called out.

"Joris! What the fuck?" Charles slapped his friend’s leg and looked away. The phone in his hand seemed to be looking much more interesting, though it wasn’t even turned on. While his fingers were dancing and tapping on any random buttons on his phone, his ears were listening to the conversation—well, more like listening to her voice. It was weird how he had never seen her before, but Joris seemed to be getting along with her very well.

"That was Y/N." Joris gave a smile, stealing a peep from Charles’s phone, and laughed when he saw it was on camera, capturing Charles’s face from an angle below. "Nice picture, by the way. Is that why you couldn’t stop looking at it when she was here?"

"Very unnecessary, Joris. You could have just told me her name." He threw his cap on and stood up to leave the room.

"I thought you wanted to get to know her." Joris exclaimed, seeing his best friend walking away.

"I can figure that one myself!"

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"Charlie!"

"Hey, Adam! Give me a five!" He bent down as the little one hopped and touched their hands together. This has been his fourth time seeing him, and every single time, his visit would get longer and longer. The first time he met the kid, he just dropped by to give him candy and walked away. This time, he came by with candy and shared a few little jokes and games.

"Do you always wander around the paddock alone? Your dad never gets mad." He ripped the top off the candy and handed it to the kid.

"No, mommy won’t be mad if I just stay around the red garage. Oh! Sour!" His face scrunched up, making the driver cackle.

"Oh? You’re with your mom? Dang, this is sour." He made a face and shivered as the sourness hit.

"Yeah, I’m with mommy! Daddy is…" He looked down, his bottom lips jutting out. Charles knew right away it wasn’t something light if this was the reaction coming from a 4-year-old kid, so he cut the topic short.

"You don’t have anything sweet in there? I’m not a fan of sour candy."

Adam patted his pockets and shook his head. "No more candy! I stole that from mommy. Shh, she didn’t know." He put his pointy finger on his lips and giggled.

"Your secret is safe with me, buddy. I have to go. See you around, Adam!" Charles stood up and gave the little one a pat on the head before he went to get Andrea for his short meeting before the press conference.

"This will be your..." 

Charles was slapped with what felt like a brick when it was just a file of papers, but the sting was unexpected, causing him to lean back as he covered one side of his face with his hand.

"Oh! I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Did I just slap you?"

Chuckling, he shook his head and pressed his palm on his eyes—the ones that just got slapped on. "No, no. Well, yes, I’m okay. Are you–"  Her beauty from up close astounded him, erasing all vocabularies in his head as he went blank. "You are beautiful," he muttered.

"Sorry?"

"Oh? Oh, nothing. Y/N, right?" He offered a handshake with the widest grin. "I’m Charles."

"Everyone knows who you are, Charles." You laughed, accepting the handshake. "How do you know my name? I never properly introduced myself."

"Oh, Joris told me." He answered, his eyes still on her, making him look like a fool without realising it.

"Do you have anything else to say? Because I need to." She pointed the other way. "I need to head there."

He pulled himself back to his senses and stepped aside. "Oh, sorry about that. I’m not going to hold you any longer."

"Sorry about that. Good luck in the qualifying round!"

"Oh, wait! Is this yours?" He crouched down and took the sour candies on his feet. The same one he got from the kid

"Oh, yeah! Must have slipped off my hand. Thank you!"

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"Mommy, look!"

You took the paper that he handed to you and cackled at the drawing. "What is this, sweetheart?"

"Guess, mommy! Look, I drew the moustache too." He pointed at the little lines, wearing the proudest smile.

"A moustache? Is that a cat?"

"Yes! Like the one we used to have!" He started collecting all of his marker pens and coloured pencils, placing them in his small pencil case as he saw you start packing your stuff. "Are we going back already?"

"Yeah, mommy’s all done with my work, so we can head back early. Should we go on a little date and get ice cream?" Shutting down your laptop, you placed them in the case when Adam seemed to be rushing to go somewhere with his little backpack. "Where are you going?"

"Mommy, wait! I haven’t met Charlie!"

"What even is Charlie?" You muttered, picking up the missing marker pens he had missed for rushing.

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"Hey, munchkin! I was waiting for you." Charles grinned and offered his hand for a high five. "Where have you been?"

"Oh! I’m going back already. Wait!" He sneaked his little hand into his pocket and frowned when he couldn’t find the thing he was looking for. Charles then saw him pull his arms off his small backpack and sneak his little hand inside the small compartment. "This is for you!"

"You are going home? Why?" Taking the small Mars bar from the little one, he kept it in his hand as he helped him put on his backpack again.

"Mommy’s done with her work early today, so I’m going out on a date!"

Charles grabbed his little arm before he could sprint away. "You? You are going out on a date? Wait, with who?"

"Adam!"

The driver’s facial expression went blank as he heard the voice. The little arm in his hand slipped off as he saw the little one run and hug the legs of the woman he has been dying to talk to over the past couple of months.

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"Mommy!"

You ruffled his hair as he crashed into you. "Have you met your Charlie?" Bending down, you squeezed his chubby cheeks as you took his hand in yours.

"Yes! That’s Charlie!" He exclaimed, pointing at someone.

You saw Charles still crouching down with a Mars bar in his hand. He was already looking at you as you laid your eyes on him. He looked surprised and stunned, as he didn’t seem to catch the smile you gave.

"He's—he’s yours? Adam, is your kid?" He queried, taking steps closer.

"Yeah, he’s my son. Wait–" Looking down, you cupped his little cheek. "Adam, Charlie, is Charles? Is this the friend you have been giving your candy away to?"

"Yes!" he squealed.

You thought he had been making friends with a cat or any other person, but not with an actual driver, because who would have thought he would have the most time in the world to be friends with a 4-year-old kid? "I’m so sorry if he had been bothering you. I truly had no idea about that.”

"It’s okay, Y/N. I got free candies." He showed the Mars bar he had in his hand, making you chuckle.

"I am going out on a date with mommy. Do you want to come?"

His words became a mumble as you quickly covered his mouth. "Charlie is busy, Adam." Tilting your head back and facing the driver, you asked the little one to wave before walking away. "I’ll get going now. Say bye, Adam."

"Bye, Charlie!"

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"What’s with that smile?" Joris peeked his head to look at the little kid, who kept looking back every now and then to wave his little hand at the driver.

"Nothing." Charles ripped off the Mars bar in his hand and took a bite of it, cocking his brow at Joris, who seemed to have more questions. "What?"

"Nothing." He mimicked Charles’s expression and moved away before he could get hit in the head.

"You didn’t tell me she had a kid." Charles blurted.

"I thought you wanted to figure it out yourself. Why? Does it change anything?"

"What do you mean?" He queried, taking another bite from the chocolate bar.

"Does it change your little crush on her now that you know she has a kid?"

"No, not at all. I like her even more now." He chuckled and did a double take on his friend. "Wait, how do you know I have a crush on her?"

"Because you aren’t being too discreet about it. I bet Adam knew it too. Give me that." Joris snatched the chocolate bar from the driver’s hand and took the last bite. "You shouldn’t eat too much sweet for your diet, you know."

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"Adam, I need your help." The sound of music in the room was cut off when the driver finally spoke what had been in his head for weeks. Charles was lying down on the couch in his driver room with his little friend, while the little one was too busy colouring the dinosaur from his book.

"More candy?" He asked, switching to a different colour pencil from his case.

"No, not candy. I wanted to ask your mom on a date." He put his phone away and sat up, looking at the little one full of anticipation.

"No."

"Wait, what? Why?" Charles stood up and took a seat by Adam’s side. He casually started participating in the colouring activity as he took a blue pencil and started filling in the tail section of the dinosaur. "I thought we were friends?"

"Mommy only goes on a date with me."

"She might want to go on a date with me." He assured him, helping him change to a different coloured pencil.

"I don’t want mommy to cry again, so, no. I need to go now!" He stood up and packed his colourful stuff inside his little backpack with the help of the driver.

"I won’t make her cry, Adam." Charles handed him his colouring book as the toddler stood up to leave.

"That’s what Daddy used to say too. Bye bye, Charlie!"

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"Charlie hurt?" 

"Yes, sweetheart. He crashed today, so you shouldn’t bug him, okay? Just stay here." You pinched his little cheek before handing him his iPad. "Not too long. Turn it off when mommy says so, alright?"

Adam did listen to you and stayed in the break room while you sorted out a few things before race day tomorrow. There wasn’t any meeting until the next hour, so you got to do your work while listening to your kid watch Coco ten times this weekend.

Until you heard a knock on the door,

"Hi. Uhm, I’m looking for Adam." Your eyes widened as the driver peeked his head inside the room.

"Charlie!" He put his iPad to the side and hopped off the couch to run straight into Charles’s arms.

"Why didn’t you come to see me?"

"Mommy said I shouldn’t bug you. Are you okay?" You chuckled when he cupped the driver’s cheeks with his small hands.

"Yeah, I’m okay. Wait, actually, not really."

To that, Adam gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. "Oh, no! You need candy?"

"Come here." Charles pulled your son to the end of the room, so you were no longer able to eavesdrop on the conversation.

You saw those two start whispering something, giggling, and laughing while you were left out. "Bye Charlie!" He waved as the driver trod, leaving the break room.

"Bye, munchkin. See you, Y/N. You look beautiful in a ponytail, by the way."

You were taken back by the sudden compliment, and your hand went to stroke your hair now that he mentioned it. "But I always have my hair tied?"

"Yeah, that’s what I meant." He gave a wink before walking away, leaving you and your toddler, who seemed to find the whole situation funny.

"What did he tell you?" You tried to pry into their business, acting casual by going back to your work.

"It’s a secret!" He winked, which looked more like a face scrunch as he went back on his iPad, making you frown in confusion.

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"Go! Open the door!"

"I can’t. Give me a second."

"Why?"

"I’m nervous, buddy."

"I’ll open it for you!"

"No, no!"

You were staying in the break room, playing with your phone while your little one stayed outside, watching an army of people in the paddock celebrate the drivers on the podium. He had promised to stay just outside the room so you wouldn’t have to worry about him being in the crowd, but minutes later, you kept hearing whispers right outside the door. You weren’t sure who the owner of the other one was, but you were so sure one of them belonged to your son.

"Mommy?" 

"The door is not locked, love. Just come in." You replied and went back to your phone, expecting him to walk in, but he didn’t.

"Go, Charlie!”

"Is there anything wrong?" Placing the phone away, you pushed the door open and saw that your toddler kept on pushing the driver towards your door. "Charles? Do you need anything?"

"Y/N. Actually–"

"Charlie wants to ask you out on a date!" Adam cut in.

The words made you flabbergasted. That was impossible. Why would he ask you out on a date when every woman he met on a daily basis dressed up way better and had better body shape than you?

And they were single. While you were a divorcee, you even had a kid.

"Stop joking around, Adam. Leave Charlie alone, okay?" Adam hid behind the driver as you tried to grab his arm, giggling while hugging Charles’s legs.

"Would you go out on a date with me?"

You gave a dry smile and shook your head right away. "Sorry, Charles. I have a kid, remember? Who’s going to take care of him if I—“

"Joris will play with me! Right, Charlie?" He pulled on the Ferrari’s shirt, chuckling as he felt Charles’s hand on his neck.

"Joris agreed to take care of Adam for one night. They are best friends." Charles assured.

"I can’t, Charles. I’m so sorry."

He followed you inside while Adam stayed outside to find Joris. "But why?" You ignored him. "Y/N, why?"

"I should be asking you that. Why me? I don’t get it. I have a kid, Charles." You took your phone and started taking your laptop bag.

"And what’s wrong with that?"

"Nothing’s wrong, but you have all those hot girls ready for you to ask them out. I am way out of your league, Charles." 

He held your arm to stop you from walking out of the room. "I got Adam’s permission, and I promised him that I was going to take you out. Please give me a chance."

"How did you get his permission?"

You saw him awkwardly smile as he scratched the back of his neck. "He promised me his permission if I ended up in the top 5 this weekend."

Laughing, you rolled your eyes at how ridiculous the deal was.

"Is that a yes?" He tilted his head, having a little faith in how the tension in the room seemed to die down.

"Fine. Just one date."

To that, he bit his lips and threw up a fist. "Yes! You’ll be in Maranello next weekend, yeah? I’ll pick up."

"Sure, I’ll send you the address."

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"Be nice to Joris, alright?"

"Mommy looks very pretty!" He placed both of his palms on your cheeks and gave you a kiss before hugging you by the neck. "Have fun with Charlie! Let me know if he makes you cry, and I’ll." He showed you his little fist. "I’ll hit him!"

Giggling, you kiss him back on his cheek. "I thought you said he was nice."

"Yeah, Charlie is very nice. That’s why I let him take mommy out on a date." He ran towards the main door as Joris helped put his sneakers on. "Bye mommy!"

Back then, when he was born, you always worried if you were able to raise him all on your own. If you could take on both responsibilities as his mother and father figure at a young age, You were grateful enough, as he had grown up to be a very gentle and cheerful kid, despite what he had witnessed occasionally whenever your ex-husband paid a visit. He was never a good dad. He never wanted to be one. Adam barely called him dad. He never knew what it felt like to have a dad, but he would always reassure you that he was glad enough to have the perfect mom. Though you tried to keep your marriage problems between you and your ex-husband, Adam was smart enough to figure out what his dad was like. Whenever your ex-husband came by, you would always get bruises on your body. Maybe that was why your little one grew up to be very protective of you, despite his age.

Charles had told you he was a few minutes away, so you weren’t expecting to see your former spouse when you opened the door.

"Where are you going?" He pushed the door and walked inside as if he had any right to do so.

"It’s none of your business. Please leave."

"It’s my house. Where’s Adam? And why are you all dressed up?" He scanned you up and down, smirking as if you looked humorous.

"Leave, please."

"Come on, baby. I haven’t seen you for months. I have missed you."

You pressed your lips into a thin line, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. Whenever you were home, he would always come by to ask for sex. He would beat you up if you ever resisted any of his attempts, but you would rather get beaten than be in the same bed with him again. You were just glad Adam wasn’t here to witness it all again. "Leave me alone!" You yelled, pushing him off from pinning your body against the wall.

"You fucking bitc—who’s that?" His hand, which was about to hit you in the face, came to an abrupt stop when the doorbell rang.

"It’s no one." The doorbell rang again.

"Go and open the door. It’s fucking annoying." He pushed you on your head, making you jerk forward towards the door.

You wiped on your tears that rolled down your cheeks before twisting the lock as you were greeted by Charles, with his dimples that went shallow as soon as he saw you.

"Y/N? Are you crying?"

You let out a sob and tilted your face away from the tears that rolled down your cheeks again. "I’m sorry, I can’t make it today."

"What’s wrong? Did something happen?" He gently tilted your face and felt his stomach drop when he saw your broken expression. "What happened, Y/N?"

"I–" You sobbed again.

"She wants you to leave, kid."

Charles pushed the door wider as he walked in and stood in front of you. "Who are you?"

"I’m her husband."

You felt his hand on your arm as he pulled you closer; his gaze was still locked on the older guy.

Charles let out a chuckle, seeing how absurd this whole situation was. "So, you are the ex-husband. Well, I don’t think it was me who wasn’t supposed to be in here."

"Kid, this is my house, and that bitch that you are touching is mine." He snarled.

"Don’t call me that. And she’s not yours." Charles furrowed at the man, feeling your hand gripping his arm.

"Ah, so she’s yours now? Did you claim her yet?"

"She’s not mine. She’s no one's possession because she’s not a fucking item. You should leave." His teeth were clenched as his gaze pierced the man. "Leave before I call the cops on you."

"I’ll get going first, baby. See you when this motherfucker is gone, yeah?" You flinched when you felt his cold skin on your cheek.

"Don’t fucking touch her." Charles yanked his hand away and locked the door after the older man was gone, leaving you and him alone.

"Did he hurt you?" Charles cupped on your face, heaving a sigh of relief when there wasn’t anything serious as you shook your head at his question.

Charles wanted to ask a lot of questions, but you were still shaken up by the whole thing, so he grabbed you by your hand as both of you settled down on the couch.

"You can leave, Charles. I’m sorry for ruining your night."

"It wasn’t your fault, Y/N. And who said the date was ruined? Adam told me you love pizza, so are you up for a pizza night?" He found himself grinning when he saw that little smile on your beautiful face.

It was supposed to be a romantic dinner date; instead, you were sitting on the couch with a box of pizza while watching a Disney movie. Charles had to pick out the pineapple on every slice of pizza and vocally judged you on your preference because there was no way he could eat a pizza with a pineapple together.

But it was a very fun night. It was enough to make you completely forget what had happened earlier, but enough to not make the day all about that.

"Y/N, can I ask something?" He picked out another pineapple, trying so hard not to make a disgusted face, which made you laugh.

"Is this about what happened?" You confirmed.

"Yeah, but if you don’t feel comfortable answering, then it’s fine." Charles took a bite of his now pineapple-free pizza.

"No, it’s okay. You can ask." You collected the pineapple he picked off and ate it on its own.

"How long?"

"How long has it been since he did that? It was on and off. If he got a new girlfriend, he would stop coming by for a couple of months." You saw the look he had on you, and it made you feel sad at how bad your life has turned out to be.

"You didn’t report to the police?"

"I did, but I never got any further updates. I even tried to move away, but he always managed to find me back. Which is why I’m always happy whenever I have to travel for work. That way, he won’t be able to ruin my life, and Adam could live his life as a child without having to worry about me." You looked away as you started to clean up the empty box as an excuse so you wouldn’t have to look at his face any longer or you would be crying again.

"I’ll see what I can do. It’s about time for the authority to take action about this. I promise I’ll help you."

"Thank you, Charles. I owe you a lot. I really don’t know how to pay you back." You beamed and dipped your hand in the small box.

"You still owe me a proper date?"

"Fine, make it the second date. Do you want candy?" You handed him one as you popped one in your mouth.

"Ah!" Charles blurted it out, making you jump. "How could I miss this?" He took the sour candy and burst out laughing. It was the same candy that he had been getting from Adam way before he found out he was related to you. "Adam had been stealing your sour candies all this time to share them with me."

"Really?" You laughed along, connecting the dots as to why your candy seemed to be way less than it should have been.

"Guess I love sour candies now." He threw one into his mouth and shivered at the sourness.

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