#they got me waxing poetic..........

[crayonurchin]

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]

#urchin art #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #actually autistic #autistic things #autistic adult #autistic artist #autistic community #listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult #figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary #but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe #(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point) #the point is ask yourself #are you getting MORE xyz? #Or are you becoming MORE of you?

[allseeingdirt]

huh

#^somehow having vriskan thoughts that are making me [head in hands] #they got me waxing poetic.......... #also its funny and probably not a coincidence the dynamic i have in brain for them is like #almost identical. to wm/ceris #LOL LMAO violent aggressive bitch meangirl (nongendered) x long suffering monotone gossip liking closet prick bestie #they are holding hands with each other but not in a romantic soft way. like in a holding on to the other person in a storm in a flood in #the blank expanse of space way. #they dont need each other they do they dont they want this not need this they are a million light years apart even when they are side by #side they understand each other viscerally mothers and daughters with burdens to bear they dont understand each other at all and are always #baffling and exasperating each other they are moirails but theyre both too independent and closed off and emotionally distant to have any #emotionally rewarding soft pale jam sessions like in the movies they are a million light years apart. #they are holding each others hands in a tight grip. #mutual north stars but in the way you and her are light years apart. in the way you can always run and run towards her and still never #reach her. in the way she would blind you if you stand too close look too closely. look away. keep running. keep holding on. #you do not let her go #[explodes]

[your-royal-momoness]

Zuko, hungover: please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was the king of all the turtleducks

Sokka: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Turtleducks

#turtleducklord strikes again! #you can’t tell me that Zuko isn’t the kind of drunk to just SOB over how cute things are #like turtleducks #or Druk #or Sokka - it’s how they get together #Zuko and Sokka are catching up and they get drunk and Zuko thinks he’s finally got enough courage to tell Sokka he likes him #so he starts waxing poetic about Sokka to his face #but actually #Zuko is very drunk #and he’s really just incoherently crying about how beautiful Sokka is and squishing his cheeks #still works tho #zukka #sokka #zuko #atla #avatar the last airbender #trashbending

[bradshawsbitch]

lt. robert 'bob' floyd

bonus:

#lewis pullman #robert bob floyd #bob floyd #lewis pullman gifs #lp* #my gifs #omfg this dude talks with hands so much its insane #i got so distracted by his hands #which i also love #i had to gif his hands #theyre so beautiful #nvm me #waxing poetic about lewis' hands #bob floyd deserves head every day

[jkpng]

day 135/547 of missing jungkook

#jk #jungkook #buny #said i would yap abt this live and here it is #ik when i was watching it live i said to smone like. the mood is weirdly melancholic but now hes talking abt food and instantly its lighter #but since then i kinda forgot that the first half of that live is like. SUCH AN ODD VIBE #and i rewatched unprepared for it 😭 and got emotional #like idk. like the vibe is DAMP. its heavy not necessarily sad but it was Heavy #and hes talking abt not sleeping well lately and waxing poetic abt he can come here when he feels unstable and it feels safe n comforting #and like. mentioning he feels nauseous and one song looped for like 20 mins and sitting in the fucking dark just pondering silently #like bro ARE U GOOD????? its giving Me whenever im horribly depressed 😭 #like ik u cant really tell someones feelings from their face esp if u dont know them but he just seemed. troubled #and i was watching it like Bro why are u on a livestream sitting in the dark staring at me w big wet eyes ARE U OK……. #and then he starts talking abt food and my eyes literally got wet bc he just. immediately brightened #and got talkative again #and i cant explain idk it made me emotional like. wuh hes happy telling us abt his noodle recipe….wuh…… #and i had to tap out idk ill watch the rest later. IDK IDKKKKKKK im just fond. whatever

[padfootastic]

excuse you james potter has perfect abs and thick thighs AND a lil belly pouch and the comfiest arms known to mankind and he does The Jaw Thing and his shoulders have dimples and so does his lower back and his calves are unnaturally toned and his pecs are bigger than you’d imagine and—

#james potter #listen i can keep going #ask me to wax poetic ab james any day of the week #also! stretch marks!!! #james grows so big during chaser years #and so suddenly too #he’s got lil spindly lines all over his muscles 🥰 #(s traces them with his tongue something) #anyway #another love letter to jfp my beloved <3 #pen’s notes

[daisyndahlia]

genuinely lockwood and co has the best found family i have ever read (at least in recent years). the characters' interactions as a team and as individual duos feel so natural and make it so easy for readers to root for them. every paragraph got me "the kids are so adorable" etc. they care deeply about each other and it is just shown on every page!!

#y'all i got so emo after the empty grave i waxed poetic about love/friendship as a theme of the series on goodreads #the books obviously have flaws but this isn't one of them #lockwood and co #netflix robbed me of so many characters' interactions in future plotlines my goD #original post #lockwood & co

[fictionadventurer]

I know I just said that we shouldn't categorize people in history, but when it comes to the presidential podcast, I do find myself sorting presidents into "good" and "garbage" piles based on how they treated their wife.

Good

Ulysses S. Grant gets top marks here. I'm not crazy about his wife, but he was, and they're cute together. She was sunny and upbeat enough to boost him through a lot of years of struggle, and he was devoted to both her and the children.

Theodore Roosevelt was a loving husband to both his wives and a ridiculously devoted father to all his children.

James Garfield starts out in the garbage pile because he married her without love and had an affair, but the way they both overcame that to fall deeply in love is a pretty beautiful redemption.

Woodrow Wilson seems to have had a pretty good relationship with his wife. I know less about them so this is a tentative classification, but she was willing to basically help run the country after his stroke, so it suggests there was something good there.

Garbage

Warren Harding reigns in the garbage can. Multiple unrepentant affairs with long-term mistresses.

FDR was already on pretty shaky ground in my mind, but once I learned he had an affair with Eleanor's secretary, and then Eleanor stayed with him through polio, and then at his death he was with this same secretary while Eleanor was away, he lost a lot of points.

Middle Ground

Lincoln and his wife had a pretty rocky relationship, but from what I can tell they tried to make it work and were planning on taking steps to improve things before his death.

Chester Arthur's wife hated that he was constantly away on political business, which gives him a lot of bad husband points, but also she did want that high-class, high-status lifestyle, and from what I can tell he did love her and had a lot of regrets after she died.

#history is awesome #presidential talk #i've got inklings about some of the other guys but can't say for sure #and i recognize that things are about to get worse and worse as we head deeper into the 20th century #one thing this podcast has done is make me lament even more the death of romance #some of these letters people wrote in the 19th century are wow #you don't get that level of emotional openness anymore #there is so much flowery language #so much emotional openness even from men #men waxing poetic about all the things they love about their wives #and then we hit warren harding and they specifically mention how modern his letters to his mistresses feel #because he's being blunt and crass #and the people are like 'on one level it's relatable and kind of cool to see that they're people like us' #but i'm just like 'in what way is this an improvement?' #we've lost so much respect and decency and devotion and instead settle for cheap crass 'honesty' #i'd much rather make men live up to the higher standard

[derpinette]

girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could

#SORRY for the corny post but this is how i truly feel not waxing poetic here like literally it does #i just met the cool girl i keep talking about & IT WAS SÅ FREAKEING ÅSUM ^_^_^_^_^_^ YAY #HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY #OK sorry for screaming But i really am very excited... #turns out she is autistic & we discussed our neuroses while eating & ugh she is just as cool as i thought she was #always tell people you think have Swag that you noticed it on them see how it worked for me #i was so scared of spilling my spaghettis but turns out that was exactly what i needed to do to be friends ^_^ YAY #we went to a lot of different libraries together & i got a small old eyeless bunny plush from the event we went to caus i felt bad for it #i even showed her my pony art & i told her about my cringe interest (that music event i like...♯RealOnesKnow ) #& she thought it was COOL.& i felt like it was really genuine & she talked about reading BL LOL we discussed fujos together #we even talked about finding moids ugly #it was so awesome she was so cool & Nice To Me... i feel like i am on CUMULONIMBUS ( cloud 9 ) ^_^_^_^_^_^ #talking to her in person was so much better than online OMG now i wish i really was friends with you muties IRL #i wish you a Girl Friend experience just like this to those who post about wanting them i really do #also the reason why i even like my Music Event so much is because the first time i watched it was with a bunch of women #& i had so much fun & they were so nice to me i keep returning & now that Event means so much to me & I LOVE IT sorry (NOT) #i know this sounds like tumblrina fiction i would not believe it either IDK what to say to make it sound legitimate 0_0 like it is so crazy #to me as well IDK i can barely get over it & IDK if i really want to so um well YAY ^_^ AIMU SO HEPI :DDD

[rhiannons-bird]

I would buy Thomas Lightwood's poetry book

#our man has got something to say #even if it's just to wax poetic about Alastair carstairs in a slightly pathetic way #I wanna read it all #don't tell me he didn't start writing it down at some point #also he's so good with language if anyone can do it it's him #Thomas lightwood #thomastair #chain of thorns #Alastair carstairs

[doedipus]

a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.

it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.

#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it #and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months #I forget if I posted about that #and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff #the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture #the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked #nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too #probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that #and how I want the thing to be divided up #since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu #and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign #some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii #but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other #and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story #besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc #a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal #and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something #and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with #I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research #which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue #but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check #although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line #with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself #I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively #this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.

[jemmo]

those 2 eps made me cry a lot. a lot more than i have to this show before, and a lot more than i was ever expecting to. especially hyungjun and minsung’s conversation. just… god. i think the realisation that minsung had when hyungjun said that to him, it was a lot, I could feel it, and it’s so difficult and hard to process and maybe hit a bit too close to home, but it is a realisation i was hoping minsung would have. and i can’t help but applaud how forward and to the point hyungjun was this whole episode, and grateful he made minsung have this realisation. not just in their complex situation but in any relationship really, you cannot be a bystander, you cannot just sit and wait, you can’t let it all be out of your hands. you are part of this, and you don’t just have the ability to do something, you have to, it’s necessary, it’s important and you have to see that. minsung sat back, he wanted to weigh his options and think, see how he felt about these people, and I’m not saying he was completely inactive, but it does feel like he sat back and let these people come to him. he made his initial attraction clear to both, but after that, it was like he was just letting things happen to him, letting it play out and see how he feels. he didn’t play an active role, he didn’t have any agency in the situation when he should have. and i know there’s pressure when there’s multiple people involved, you don’t want to make a move on one and give everyone a wrong idea that the decision is made, but when you look from hyungjun’s perspective, after a date that went so well, after growing close, someone you didn’t expect and didn’t even realise thought that way comes in this strong. it’s not that he wanted minsung to chose him, it’s not that he wanted him to reject hyungjin either. but when you’ve become close and someone interrupts, all you can do is let that person know nothings changed, you still feel the same. and hyungjun did that, at least tried to without burdening minsung or letting his shock and frustration get the best of him, but minsung didn’t. it’s this implication that this is the dynamic, this is how it just is, hyungjun the chaser and minsung the one being chased, but that’s not how actual relationships work, and I’m glad hyungjun didn’t feel bad saying hey, when this all went down, i just wanted some assurance from you. I wanted to know that you still liked me, not just carrying on something you said before and keeping that faith, I was waiting for you to come to me, I want you to come to me if you feel that way inclined. this isn’t just a situation where I’ll pursue you and then you’ll pick me and done, no, it has to feel like there’s some effort returned, it has to feel equal. hyungjun already feels dumb in this situation bc he didn’t see hyungjin’s feelings and mistook them for support, so now he’s going to doubt everything he thought, including how minsung actually feels about him. and he’s right, he shouldn’t feel bad about wanting more, a box of cookies can’t just be enough, and when he’s doubtful of his feelings, it’s no wonder he closes off, he protects himself, bc he doesn’t want to be messed with.

and man it rips through minsung like a tidal wave, seeing that all this time, not just with hyungjun but maybe even with hyungjin, he could’ve done more. he called hyungjin multiple times and apart from that seemed to make no advances, it’s only now hyungjin is pushing that it’s become a thing, but he’s the one that realised his feelings later. minsung started this, but wasn’t putting in the effort to keep it going. and with hyungjun, he was always waiting for him to open up, for him to make his feelings clear. I don’t know if it’s self preservation, he said he’s never cried bc of relationship, it gives me the impression he’s very used to behaving this way, but hyungjun is the shock to the system he needs to realise that he shouldn’t just sit around and wait, he can’t. he can open up, he can share his feelings, he can push things forward. there’s no rule anywhere that says he’s the one that should be waiting, and him waiting with the expectation that hyungjun will come to him, and feeling hurt when hyungjun doesn’t, doesn’t enter his chat or feels cold or off with him, all you have to do is realise hyungjun could be, and is, feeling that exact same way. he’s waiting for minsung to come to him, and feels hurt when he doesn’t, when he doesn’t give him reassurance and goes off with hyungjin. it’s a misunderstanding based in the fact that minsung is holding the power here and isn’t using it, instead waiting for others to take control when he needs to do that himself. and I’m so glad hyungjun expressed this bc it speaks to how their relationship feels like it’s grounded in something more real. it’s not like with hyungjin where he just pursues and flirts and minsung sits and receives it, there’s an expectation of equality, that feelings have to be mutual, and actively reciprocated, that there has to be a back and forth, a dialogue, a balance. and I liked that sungho went to talk to minsung at the end and they both got emotional, bc they’re the two that share this experience, and sungho is like this walking proof that minsung isn’t stuck, he has the agency to decide and he has to make that decision, while for sungho it’s like looking back at that past him that felt so conflicted and stressed. all the conversations got to me in these eps, but I think this one hit them the hardest, bc I do think there is a lot of feelings there, you don’t get this upset, you don’t feel this deeply, if you don’t have feelings. it’s all stemming from this frustration of liking someone and not knowing how to convey it, feeling like something always gets stuck, the lines cross, it misses the target, bc you don’t know what the dynamic is yet, you don’t know what the thing is, what the words or actions will be that will convey those feelings and make them understand. they both make moves and get confused and doubtful over the smallest things and that can only happen when you care that much and feel that deeply that you look and read into every small thing and action and change in behaviour looking for some meaning. it’s like… painfully beautiful to watch, and it makes you root for them so much bc you want them to reach that place where they finally stand on level ground and see each other.

#I could seriously wax poetic about this conversation for days #like it got to me #it deeply affected me #I locked myself in the bathroom and cried #it’s so hard to watch but god I hope they reach a resolution and can just be fucking happy #they need it #his man 2

[soppingwetrat]

i need everyone to know right now that i will never shut up ab gerard keay and the fact that he's happy. seriously. if im spamming your dash with basic unoriginal memes from 15 years ago i legit don't give a fuck. i will not stop yapping about this man.

#gerard keay #he is the light of my life #the bane of my existence #i hold him gently with two hand and place him delicately on the windowsill #to soak up the sun #my boy #got me waxing poetically goddamn #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #rat rants

[gumy-shark]

q!jaiden and q!roier make me sick btw. i am sososo mentally ill about them. they and bobby are so good and one day i will be so annoying with the paragraphs ill type about them. there’s so much fucking love there. they fit together so well. emotionally i am still in that basement with charlie hunting all the eggs and jaiden is desperately praying for roier to come online so she at least has someone bc they are each other’s someone. and they are each other’s someone they are each other’s person and they’re not in love and they’re more than friends and the closest word to what they have is “family“ bc they are a family but there’s smth different about it. they were two strangers, paired up by chance, and they became something

#qsmp #sorry this got long #probably doesnt make too much sense bc i am just waxing poetic #the word 'partners' was invented so they could use it #like honesty mode there is smth so fulfilling to me abt seeing them interact?? #it's just mcrp but at the same time this is *exactly* the kind of relationship i want to have with someone one day #and seeing it in game is like. maybe i could have this. yknow?

[acediaedeus]

the reason I like Grimmjow so much is, obviously, because he’s a feline-adjacent character and that’s all I really need. and that’s also why my mission in this life is to slap as many feline traits on him as possible.

but before that I need to reinforce my “cat person Ichigo” agenda, because he would definitely be one, and not just because of Grimmjow, no. I just feel like if Ichigo had to get a pet it would be a cat, because cats are rather self-sufficient and independent, they don’t require 24/7 attention (rather hate it even), their needs are easily met and over all they are quiet, calm. cats enjoy a great nap and lazing around, but do get into a playful mood at times, which all sounds to me very much like Ichigo. also I think the ways cats show affection would really appeal to him, as well as their companionable silence, their presence small, but comforting, because they let you know you’re not alone.

so, enter Grimmjow with all his feline grace, a predator to his very core, snappy and yet intelligence shines in all that he does. and when things come down to affection he is still so very cat-like with it. a cat who’s been hurt, had to fight and hunt to survive, bristly and quick to anger and oh so slow to trust. just like the stray that you see on a street, that you get down on your knees for and thrust your hand out so it can sniff it or swipe its claws at or get frightened by, forcing it to retreat, run away, whatever wins out in that stray’s mind: curiosity, flight or fight. and Grimmjow is that stray too, but pride won’t let him run away and he’s been wondering the world long enough to not be so easily swayed into what could very well be a trap by mere curiosity. that is, until Kurosaki Ichigo.

and so Grimmjow meets him and falls into his trap, not willingly, not without a fight. he hisses and growls, he yells and spits venom, he scrambles to get out, claws like daggers swiping at everything, anything, to find something to dig into, so he can pull himself out. and yet he can’t, and with time resigns himself to the fact, that he doesn’t even really want to.

Kurosaki’s presence at first disappoints, nothing, but prey in all his terror, shaking hands, erratic movements, but as the fight goes on the boy feels less and less like prey, and then his mouth is twisted into something deranged, something similar if not identical to Grimmjow’s own smile, all sharp teeth and the promise of violence. maybe not so disappointing after all. every next time they fight each other after that Kurosaki’s presence gets more intense, at times making Grimmjow’s hair stand on end. and then they don’t see each other for a long time, and then they do, and Grimmjow somehow failed to notice when Kurosaki’s presence stopped feeling like something crushing down on him, urging him to fight against whatever it is and destroy it, and more like a blanket, light, but there, seemingly insignificant and yet comforting and warm.

Kurosaki Ichigo doesn’t feel like a fight all the time anymore, although Grimmjow enjoys every second of it when he does, and he finds that he doesn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. the boy, who’s not even a boy anymore, is there, on his knees before a stray, holding out his hand, ready to bleed, but hoping for softness. and Grimmjow is that stray, ready to claw and yet choosing to trust, if only for a second. and when that trust doesn’t result in hurt, Grimmjow finds it brings security.

anyway, before I ramble even more, oh my god, what is this?!?!?? all I wanted to write was “Grimmjow and Ichigo are like those lions you see in TV programs about wildlife, nuzzling each other’s heads and then flopping down against the other for a nap”??? what is this shit 💀🙏🏻??

#grimmichi #self-indulgent bullshit yet again #they are in love #I trully don’t know what this is #cat person Ichigo bc I said so #am I projecting? nooo… well… okay maybe #feline Grimmjow supremacy what can I say ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ #this got away from me #in this episode of ‘the ramblings of a madwoman’ I forget the original point and start waxing poetic but the poetry is bad #shit writing ppl *\(^o^)/* #proffesional yapper if you haven’t noticed #if you noticed me giving Ichigo cat-like traits no you didn’t

[okapiandpaste]

the raw geek-fueled power of nasa never fails to amaze me I can’t stop thinking about the profoundly poetic holmes/watson rover they sent to mars.

#Sherlock holmes #me posting crud #watson helps him see in color. no I won’t cry #image #when it got launch so many ppl were waxing poetic about it that I thought it was defunct or something 😭 #so happy it’s still alive and detecting #they even gave it a hand lens that’s so cute