#they don't care of the real harm they cause us. or the hurt they bring us. they don't care of the dark thoughts they breed in us. that they

[arklayraven]

Our parents/family have little idea how much their words and actions effect us on a deep emotional/mental level...

Or maybe they do know but just don't care.

#;my posts #they don't care of the real harm they cause us. or the hurt they bring us. they don't care of the dark thoughts they breed in us. that they #plant within us and water until its a jungle of madness and self destructive sorrow and anger. they don't care. they don't want #to understand. and that's the sad fact of it all. we could just vanish or rid of ourselves one day and they won't really care. I mean not #for us. but more so for themself. they will only care about how it'll bother/effect them. than the fact their loved one is gone because #of their actions or inactions now. blaming another is much easier though I'm sure than taking the blame yourself. even if that #other is someone buried 6 feet fucking under and rotting away to nothing but dust and bones...

[genderkoolaid]

Hi!

I (24 nb) am having a serious issue with girls my age being quite misandric and using radfem rhetoric in their speech.

The issue is I understand their fear and mistrust of men in patriarchy and with many of them having horror stories to share about bad heterosexual relationships. But i am deeply uncomfortable with misandry and i don't know how to effectively point out that no it's not good feminism to hate on men.

Do you have any resources you could recommend me to build a good argument? I want to be prepared for this kind of discussion because it keeps happening more and more frequently.

I know it's not the main topic you cover on your blog but as it is closely related to transandrophobia I was hoping you (or your followers) could still give me some advice.

I wish you a wonderful day

My advice would be to start with talking about the negative impact of misandry on women first (although don't use the word misandry, at least at first). Starting off with "it hurts men" in any regard will likely not go over well, but if you first bring up the issue in relation to a group they already really care about, they'll be more likely to listen. Also, I would reaffirm that having trauma or bad associations with men isn't the problem, they aren't obligated to associate with men in ways that make them uncomfortable or exhausted, and that they have a right to feel their emotions, be angry, be annoyed, etc. Affirm that your concern is with how their actions and attitudes could be causing real harm to others, and that anger being valid does not mean you don't need to take responsibility for how you choose to act.

Some potential talking points:

When women are perceived as manly or masculine, they tend to get viewed with the worst traits of masculinity: butches and trans women are seen as aggressive, violent predators who prey on sweet, feminine straight/cis women. The patriarchy doesn't just hurt women through their femininity, but through their (real or perceived masculinity as well.

Even inside queer spaces, butches are expected to fulfill toxic masculinity: they are expected to be sexually dominant tops, not be emotionally or physically "weak," not do feminine things, etc. Butches can get ridiculed by others, even partners, for not fulfilling these things. Things like balding and small penises, that are traditionally seen as failures of masculinity in the patriarchy, are also made fun of in queer spaces; it seems like queer spaces have issues with how they deal with (real or perceived) masculinity.

When spaces make jokes about hating men, put a lot of emphasis on gatekeeping men, etc., it makes it a lot harder for trans women and nonbinary people assigned male feel safe. Some trans women & genderqueers might not realize their gender because they are kept out of spaces that could've helped them realize because of how queer & feminist spaces act regarding men. Butch trans women and genderqueers often face heightened scrutiny because of their masculinity, from both inside and outside their communities. (Also, send them this article.)

^ As a result of all of that, maybe we need to be more careful with how we think and talk about masculinity. It seems like we are reusing a lot of negative patriarchal stereotypes about men & masculinity in ways which hurt marginalized people the most.

From there, you can bring up marginalized men: you can talk about how trans men, multigender/nonbinary men, men of color, Jewish men, fat men, disabled men, etc. are negatively affected by negative patriarchal stereotypes about men & masculinity- I emphasis that because its how I would go about referring to "misandry" or "antimasculism" without actually using a word. Since misandry (and anything that sounds similar) is such a trigger word for many, its important to set the foundation that there is a big difference between the MRA concept of misandry, and the transunitist concept of misandry. Transunitist misandry focuses on how sexism & genderism* is used to target marginalized groups (specifically trans* people). Transunitist misandry does not say that misogyny doesn't exist, or that men are oppressed in the exact same way women are; its saying that the patriarchy (as a part of kyriarchy) uses gender and sex to harm not just marginalized women, but marginalized men too.

My goal with this would be to introduce and try to convince them of the idea that Misandry Is Harmful Maybe, and then once they realize how its harmful, bring up the idea that this kind of stuff needs to be named. Once they generally agree with these ideas, I think it will be much easier to help them understand why misandry is bad even beyond marginalized men: because the patriarchy relies on harmful ideas and expectations for men, even as (dominant/non-marginalized) men have a different place and more rewards; because liberationist feminism must be concerned with universal liberation, and that means it must be concerned with everyone's wellbeing and liberation; because we cannot disnantle the master's house with the master's tools, and letting any patriarchal thinking in poisons the well of your feminist praxis; because it just makes you a meaner and shittier person. In my experience people who think in the ways you described are resistant (not necessarily for bad reasons) to any kind of criticism towards sexism/genderism towards men, so my tactic would be starting with areas (like women) that they are concerned with not hurting and show how misandry hurts that group. Connecting the harm of this way of thinking to something they care about is going to make them more open to seeing it as an issue in general.

*I use "sexism" to describe the system of oppression based on physical sex, and "genderism" to describe the system of oppression based on gender identity/presentation/roles.

#m. #ask box

[autisticwriterblog]

Izzy, Ed and abuse

okay, so I’ve seen a few people talking about Izzy and Ed, and it genuinely disturbs me that I’ve seen people deny that Izzy is a victim of abuse. By most definitions, physical abuse is categorised as causing physical harm to another person’s body with intent to hurt them. Some things, like punching Izzy for selling Stede out, or choking him for saying hateful stuff when Ed was at his lowest, whilst not acceptable in the real world, are perfectly normal reactions for a pirate to have toward a member of his crew, so I’m not talking about things like that.

But the toe scene and the early parts of season 2 are clearly abusive, and only by sheer character bias (framing Ed as someone who could never do anything wrong) can you look at the way Ed treats Izzy and not consider Izzy a victim. Izzy and Ed have had a mutually toxic relationship for a long time, judging by their interactions, but I personally only see abusive behaviour starting with the toe scene. And the abusive one is Ed. Which shouldn’t be a controversial thing to say, considering what we see on screen, and yet…

Even at the end of season one, we saw Ed cut Izzy’s toe off and force him to eat it, and it is confirmed in season 2 that he took two more toes. He is even about to take a fourth toe when Izzy reports that the crew refused to throw their treasure overboard, and Izzy doesn’t argue, much unlike in season 1, when he often bitched at Ed for his decisions. Now, Izzy just takes the punishment.

Things between them come to a head when Ed shoots Izzy in the leg, leading to infection, and the amputation of his leg. He even puts a gun in Izzy’s hand, directly leading to Izzy’s suicide attempt. And in the end, all Izzy gets is a mumbled apology and that's that.

I know many people don’t like Izzy, but do they not sympathise with him? I’ll be first to admit that I don’t like Ed and Stede (I used to, but season 2 made me dislike them more and more for reasons too complicated to go into now), but I feel bad for them when bad things happen to them. I got bullied as a child, so I sympathise with Stede in the flashbacks to his childhood, and I was horrified when I learned what Ed's father was like. I don't particularly like either of them, but I feel bad for them when they're suffering. Which is why I found it so strange and appalling that people who dislike Izzy seemed to find it funny when Izzy was crawling along the floor, or died a painful death.

Even ignoring Ed's treatment of Izzy, the way he treats the crew is abusive too. He overworks them, pushing them into three months of consecutive raids (assuming they did one raid a day), leaving them all so stressed that Fang seems to always be crying. He forces Jim and Archie to fight to the death for no reason other than he said so. He expects Frenchie to kill Izzy, and it is clear how terrified Frenchie is the entire time he lies to Ed. The whole crew walk on eggshells around Ed because they don't know when he'll explode again. Basically, even if Izzy isn't being mentioned (and he should for the record, because he got the worst treatment - and he didn't deserve it, despite that some people seem to think being mutilated is a fair punishment for yelling at Ed), Ed was still abusive towards the crew. During that time period, Ed is incredibly unstable. He wants the world to burn and doesn't care who gets hurt along with him. Which is why the crew still show signs of trauma after Stede returns. Because they are traumatised by Ed's behaviour.

I know that Ed is a victim of abuse, and I have seen people bring this up when his abusive behaviour is mentioned. The thing is, it's perfectly possible for a victim to become an abuser themself, because they're a human being and are capable of doing bad things. Yes, survivors don't have to become abusive (see: my mum, who was smacked as a child but never raised a hand to her own children, because she didn't turn out like her parents), but it can happen. And that is what happened with Ed. There is even a direct parallel between Ed's dad throwing a plate against the wall, scaring Ed's mother, and the scene where Ed throws a chair against the wall, making Stede visibly flinched. If you want someone to be annoyed with about this comparison, don't pick the fans who are just noticing something in canon - blame the show for writing Ed doing the same thing his abusive father did.

In conclusion, Izzy fans aren't just making things up. We're pointing out things that canon showed onscreen and how Ed's behaviour toward Izzy is abusive. I wanted to like Ed this season, but the way the show wrote him made it impossible for me to tolerate him, because he treated everyone badly and they were expected to just move on. I understand that Ed is a romantic lead, but perhaps it wasn't a good idea to make your romantic lead act so abusive toward his subordinates and then never show any real consequences of that.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #the izcourse #ofmd critical #abuse tw #child abuse mention #discourse #fandom wank #ed teach critical #(although it's more about the show's writing than his character)

[syrena-del-mar]

Very Rarely Do Men Know How to Be Altogether Good or Altogether Wicked

The last five minutes of today's episode left my mouth gaping, it really felt like I was watching a catastrophic accident happen in front of me and I just couldn't look away.

I wasn't completely sure on how Sand was going to learn about Ray and Mew's history, but I sure wasn't expecting that Ray's feelings would be exposed in such a volatile way. Maybe I’m in the minority here, I’m not exactly sure because I’m seeing a mixed bag of reactions, but I don’t necessarily agree that Sand ever needed to find out about Ray’s feelings for Mew. Much less from Boston.

This is partially going to be a bit of a continuation of my thoughts that Boston has a Machiavellian personality, followed up with SandRay's relationship becoming the unsuspecting 'victim'. Again, I'll be using pulling from Machiavelli's The Prince, but I'm also using his work Discourses on Livy. [Title credit to ch. 27 of Discourses]

Boston, still the Machiavellian 'Prince'

“Another difficulty to be added to the one mentioned above is that a state that becomes free creates for itself enemies rather than friends.”

― Niccolò Machiavelli, Discourses on Livy

Let me be upfront, I don't hate Boston, I actually enjoy the chaos he brings, but he's a fascinating character to break down and really analyze his actions. The last five minutes was, in my opinion, the most chaos that he has caused out in the open. This was never a situation of Boston 'saying what needed to be said.' This was Boston seeing an opportunity to take control of someone and doing so by unfairly outing Ray's feelings. I, again, stand by the idea that Boston is not a narcissist, but rather a Machiavellian personality type. This doesn't make him a 'villain'; Only Friends does a good job at showing that there are no villains in real life, just incredibly shitty people. Boston is simply a dick, who chooses to play with his friends to feel a sense of control when he doesn't have it. Has he ever cared for his friends? Does he keep them around simply for convenience? Hard to say. That doesn't make him evil, it just makes him a first-class jackass.

In my post where I had stated that he was more of a Machiavellian rather than narcissist, I came to the conclusion that, 'In his viewpoint, he is the kingpin, even in his group of friends, because he believes that he's the one that controls how his friends move since he knows how Mew is developing feelings for Top and is aware of Ray's feelings for Mew.' This time around, he practically admits it right after purposefully revealing Ray's feelings for Mew, "I just want to keep track of my best friends' romantic moments.' Boston hoards information so that he can throw it in people's faces when it fits him the best, there's no 'good intentions' on his keeping tabs on his friends.

Boston knows that TopMew are going to sleep together, they're serious and he's out of the running. Is it simply ego or is it because of self-interest? Whatever the catalyst is, he essentially has nothing holding him back anymore. He's seeing his "friends" getting "serious", while he's out there dealing with known (and unknown) filming of one-night stands he had being used as revenge porn. That'd hurt and anger anyone, but from what has been shown, Boston thrives off of control and so having his sex life used against him would feel like an even bigger blow. They're minor events that are snowballing and Boston likely needs to feel that control again. It's why he pushes Nick down without a second thought when Nick is trying to pull him away (opposed to how Ray lets Sand pull him back). So he claims that control back, he deliberately reveals what he knows, purposefully taking Ray down with him. While he may be feeling like shit, at least he'll be better off than Ray, who's left to pick up the pieces.

Sand and Ray, the intentional destruction of the 'kingdom'

“In general you must either pamper people or destroy them; harm them just a little and they’ll hit back; harm them seriously and they won’t be able to. So if you’re going to do people harm, make sure you needn’t worry about their reaction.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince

Yes, Sand and Ray are in a “situationship.” Yes, they’re constantly getting both physically and emotionally closer. Yes, Sand is developing feelings for Ray (arguably vice versa too). But that’s it. They started off as friends with benefits and while they’ve been shifting around, neither one has fully crossed that line. There was no defined area in the relationship, at least not before the implosion. They’re barely getting to know each other, Sand even calls Ray out because he knew that Ray had never noticed him before, not in a way other than just the Bar Performer.

Ray is working through who he is without Mew, without his crush on Mew. He's come to the realization that while he put Mew as his #1 for many years, he's knows he's not that for Mew, and is slowly coming to the realization that he may have never been. These are his feelings to work out and his alone. Sand and Ray are first and foremost friends, as they had agreed upon and they happen to hook up often. This was what they agreed upon. Even if one or both of them are catching feelings, it does not mean that Ray has an automatic obligation to come clean to Sand.

Arguably, Boston was unaware of this set up, but honestly he didn't need to know. This was not his business, Boston didn't suddenly spill the fact that Ray has had feelings for Mew for years to look out for Sand. No, this was an intentional hit on Ray, where he was positive that it would hurt. Boston has repeatedly used Ray's feelings for Mew for his own convenience (Exhibit A: Meddling at the pool party), whether it be to get Ray to react in a certain way or to have a punching bag. He knew how defensive and reactive Ray would get when he brought up RayMew's kiss and supposed sex (was this ever confirmed?) that they had.

Boston speaks in definite presumptions when he talks about others, he does this to Top and he did it to Ray. He spins realities to how he sees fit and with the confidence that he speaks in, he makes others believe him. It's why Mew never questioned that Top is accustomed to sleeping around and didn't think that Top really wanted anything more than sex, because that's what Boston specifically told him that Top was like. It's why now Sand believes that he has no hour in Ray's life, even when Ray gives him the opening to ask more, because Boston purposefully spoke in definite terms. Even the most secure person would be left feeling unsure and unbalanced.

So when Sand, who knows that their relationship is based on being friends with benefits, is confronted with words from Ray's supposed friend who explicitly states that Ray is in love with Mew and that he's being used as a rebound, what else can he do but believe that?

What little trust and rapport that they had started to build up has come crumbling down. They're frantically gathering the pieces of a 'kingdom' that has been turn into dust, the aftermath of the Prince's wrath. It's why Ray scrambles for the bottle and it's why Sand shuts down. How can they react to what Boston did, when they're struggling to salvage the little remnants left behind of what was supposed to be a blossoming relationship?

#only friends #only friends meta #only friends ep 5 #only friends the series #sandray #ofts ray #ofts boston #ray pakorn #ofts #raysand #sandray meta #raysand meta #boston meta #ofts meta #thai bl #gmmtv bl #bl meta #thai bl meta #only friends ep 5 meta #ray meta #sand meta #sand x ray #ray x sand #I meant to make a post about Ray and the Golem Effect but I can’t stop thinking of the fallout Boston instigated

[spahhzy]

When little Jaune Arc got to the playground, he honestly thought it would be the same old playing by yourself thing. Most of the other kids were in the process of being trained by their families in the way of being a huntsman.

Jaune sighed. He, too, wanted to be a huntsman... but for some reason, his family never wanted to train him. No matter how many times he asked or begged, it was still a resounding 'No' from both mom and dad.

Jaune feet kicked up some dirt as he made his way towards the swing set, but to his surprise, instead of it being empty, their was actually someone sitting in the swing next to him.

Timidly, Jaune got into the swing next to the stranger, feeling a bit uncomfortable as the stranger face was covered with a hood, but Jaune did his best not to pay attention to the stranger but them sitting and NOT doing anything wS beginning to scare him.

???: Don't be afraid friend.

Lil Jaune's blue eyes widened as he heard the stranger speak, how did he know!?

???: I promise you I mean you no harm, I'm just here to think is all.

Jaune: o-okay...

???: Why are you here all alone?

Jaune: ...uhm cause I-I don't have any friends.

???: Really, well, that makes two of us...I too don't have any friends....well, that would be a lie...I had one good friend but I haven't seen him in a long time.

Jaune: Wow... I'm sorry, I'm sure you guys were very good friends.

???: You betcha, you could say we were inseparable!

Jaune: Wow... I wish I had a friend like that... Everyone is just off being cool heroes and stuff...

???: You want to be a hero?

Jaune: Oh boy, do I, that's like my dream!

???: What does a hero usually do?

Jaune: Hero's....uh they help those I need, like in the stories and fairytales.

???: So you want to help people?

Jaune: Mmhm! I wanna help everyone!

???: Everyone, you say, hmm? You know what, you're going to be someone hero one day, I can already see it.

Jaune: Really, sir, you mean it?

???: Mmhm! And you know what, if I may, could you help me out? Think of it as part of your hero training.

Jaune: But I'm not a hero...

???: Not with that attitude you won't be. Think of this little request as the stepping stones of your training!

Little Jaune pondered for a moment but reluctantly nodded if he could begin to start being a hero in training then he would help the stranger.

The stranger reached into his cloak before pulling out...

Jaune looked on in awe...their in the strangers hands was a small blue sleeping... kitten?

???: Can you watch after this little fella here? They have been through a-lot...

Jaune paled...he couldn't bring home a cat, his mom and dad would be upset!

???: I know what you're thinking, and don't worry, only you and some other folks can see them.

Jaune: Really...

???: Oh, most definitely! Your mom, dad, and sisters will see nothing.

Now Jaune was beginning to have doubts...a invisible cat?

Jaune: Wait...who are the other people who can see them?

???: Bad bad people, they tried to hurt the poor fella. I don't have names, but I can tell you one will have a metal arm with red eyes, another will be snow witch with a scar on eye, another will have gold eyes and cat ears just like our friend here and another one will have silver eyes and a large scary stick...

Jaune just gulped. These people seemed like real villains. Why would they want to hurt this poor cat!

???: lastly, watch out for the silent double colored terror... she will be the most persistent.

Jaune just nodded as the stranger gently handed him the blue kitten.

???: You're gonna be a great hero, Jaune. I can already see it in you.

Jaune: Y-you think so?

???: Oh yes, I already see a little bit of my friend in you, and he was my greatest hero.

Jaune: Wow!

???: Yep, but it's time for me to go now, little hero. Remember, take very good care of our little friend here, and when the time is right, I will meet you again in a land where fantasy comes to life!

Jaune: O-okay, uhm...

???: J.C.

Jaune: J.C?

???: mmhm!

Mama Arc: Jaune, honey, come on its time to go!

Jaune: coming mom...uhm thanks J.C for...giving me a chance to become a hero.

Jaune then carried the kitten close to his chest as he turned his back to the stranger, who waved at him, Jaune turned and waved back before finally returning to his mom as they both left the park, and Jaune found it weird but he thought he saw bright blue eyes coming from the stranger...ah well must have been a trick of the light.

The stranger watched as Jaune and his mother left the park before looking at his hand that began to fade away.

???: Yes, you will become the hero, Jaune...my hero!

A gust of wind blew around him as his hood fell and revealed a mess of blonde hair and a slightly old face marred with a disturbing chesire grin and bright blue eyes.

CCJaune: My hero forever!

#jaune arc #neopolitian (rwby) #ruby rose #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #blake bellodona #curious cat

[eatmangoesnekkid]

I want to be pristinely clear that while "The Melody of Love" critiques patriarchy, it doesn't promote the war or tension between sexes, this deep soul wounding, or encourage the de-centering of men. While I understand what women who participate in this movement are trying to do and I agree that there is a dire need for women to stop obsessing over men and generally become priorities in their lives, when you listen to those who promote this movement, there is a haunting hollowness of hidden, unaddressed hurt and pain at the root.

That's why the "de-centering men" movement would never be part of my mission. Far from it. I like to get to the root of the reality—which is deep in the body and not out there. And yes, you should be at the center of your reality, at the center of your universe, the "de-centering men" movement puts a wedge between men and women, instead of bringing us all together, including non-binary people. As usual, I find myself not being part of typical polarized ways of thinking, and more present in a nuanced 3rd lane which has been the case for most of my life. When the handy man comes over to work on my home, if I'm in that movement, I would not consider giving him some tea, juice, or water to quench his thirst. While this gesture from me is not necessary, it does show kindness to someone who enters your home and will feel thought of and move around your space with good vibes due to your hospitality. Such beautiful energy shared between two people and emitted out into an aching world.

Through my critiques, I am making a much larger point about the level of harm these systems-patriarchy, capitalism, and Abrahamic religion do to us because they live in our bodies. They cause breast pain, pelvic pain, back pain, pussy pain, period pain, blood clots, cysts, tumors, and the like. These systems ferment like sauerkraut into our breasts/hearts, hips, bellies, tailbones, and spines and impact our wellness like our moon cycles and experiences with menopause. They negatively influence how we breathe, how we think and perceive, how we make love, how we regenerate, the care and attention we cook a meal, and what we receive and attract. They trigger us to value production over getting a good quality of rest and not staying up late at night. These punitive systems do the work of keeping our nervous systems locked into flight or fight and survival states on a daily basis. Only healthy relaxed women engage the most openhearted passionate love and yield healthy families and healthy communities/villages.

But I don't just critique like an academic. I am rootsy, braless, barefoot, and revolutionary to my core, therefore, I channel practical solutions that lead readers towards healing their bodies and truly evolving their lives into bliss.

The melody of love movement is about deep spiritual repair and care: the strength and capacity of love, the truth of our soul and destiny, the intimacies and passion of the body meeting earth, and the regenerative qualities of the female body and how they favorably impact her quality of well-being and abundance. Essentially my work brings your body into a state of love that allows you to masterfully maneuver beyond these wicked systems as an embodiment of love, one of the highest frequency, a reclamation of your original sovereign template that taps you into the inexhaustible reservoir of energy that lives inside your female body, this spark of creation. After we build up our energy and increase our capacity, it is my vision that we will then lend our bodies over to being of service to something larger that favorably recalibrates our global world into greater harmony.

There is actually a deep yearning present inside my own heart to witness more men truly rise into a more healthy honorable expression of themselves on the planet. To de-center men, no matter what your sexuality may be, yields great harm to the feminine heart. I’m not sorry to say this but-- a real woman could never do that. She would die sorrowful...deeply heartbroken. -India Ame'ye, Author

[jamiesfootball]

🌷🌸🌹🌺💐🌷

some flowers for u when u need them <3

You told me to get back here and fix it. So here is a small scene from a sequel to last week's prompt for "Did it ever occur to you that maybe we don’t want to see you get hurt?”

Jamie shifted to block his path.

“Look, don't worry about me and the grouchy dick, alright? I just wanted to say sorry for before. At the hospital.” The distance on Sam's face softened into something Jamie could reach. Yet all his teammate said was, “That isn't necessary.” “No, see, 'cause it is. I mean, I don’t really remember what I did to set you off. Mostly I just remember some yelling. But if you can remind me what it was, I want to apologise for it proper- take accountability and make amends and all that, you know?” Because before he could apologise, he needed to know what he'd done. Knowing what you were apologising for was a big part of taking accountability, Jamie knew that now. The part where he'd gone and gotten his head rattled by a midfielder with anger issues didn’t excuse his actions, and it didn't make it any less his fault. Whatever he’d done to drive Sam — Sam — to yell at him, it couldn’t’ve been good. Still, he didn’t know what he could’ve done that was so bad that just the mention of it had Sam’s face turning spoiled sick. With a hand pressed to his chest, the lad looked seconds away from fainting, the grip on his water bottle so tight it might burst at any moment. Before Jamie could ask how high a debt he’d be paying off for the rest of his life, Sam shook his head and said, “No. Jamie, no. No, that is not-“ Whatever it wasn’t apparently wasn’t worth mentioning, because Sam chewed through the distance between them in two large steps. His body barely had a chance to startle backwards before Sam had him in his grasp.

He cradled Jamie against his chest. Lean, capable arms wrapped tightly around his shoulder and lower back, avoiding the sore spots the doctors had pointed out like they were real injuries instead of short term inconveniences. Sam breathed in deeply, a long inhale followed by a welcomed exhale, and Jamie found his own breathing struggling to match the pace. He let his head drop onto Sam's shoulder; since he couldn’t have painkillers around the house right now, the headache was killing him. “I worry sometimes that we are speaking two languages,” Sam admitted quietly against his ear. “That if I am not careful, I will accidentally do something to harm you. “Nah,” Jamie argued. “I’m tough. Not much you could do to hurt me.” Sam hummed, a rumbly little noise that rattled into Jamie’s chest, clearing away the cobwebs. “Let me cook for you. Come over to my place tonight.”

Some things were just too good to last.

“Can’t." Jamie said, starting to pull away even though regret tugged between his ribs. “Roy said we could start training again, and I've got stuff I need to get ready. 'Sides, I’m not supposed to -“

Sam held him fast.

"Jamie, please," Sam begged. "Training can wait one more day. In the meantime, I would like to cook for my friend. Please. Come over. Let us fix things. He should say no. He had responsibilities, things he'd committed to that should feel more important than jumping at the chance to skive off and play tea party with his friends. But he was so so tired, and any excuse not to spend another minute at home was a fucking life raft, and Sam-

Sam looked so bloody hopeful. “Yeah, alright," Jamie agreed, allowing the life raft to drift him a little further offshore. "D’you want me to bring anything?” Sam squeezed his shoulders. “Thank you. And no, that isn't necessary. Do not worry- I will stick to your nutrition plan. Only if Coach asks, we will tell him that all the food was fried.” Jamie grinned. It didn't even feel like a chore this time. "Sound."

#today is Jamie-getting-hugged day i guess #jamie tartt #sam obisanya #writing snippet #rose for a snippet #most of today has been me frustratingly reminding myself that all writing is progress #while the draft I should be editing stares at me accusingly #it be like that sometimes

[dirtytransmasc]

For your Ronal/Tonowari adopted!spider, I can only imagine how the Sullys react to the 'loss' of another... let's not call it son, they didn't earn that. They are still grieving and I can imagine it hitting Tuk even harder rhan Kiri bc I don't think Tuk would understand that it is what is best for Spider. Kiri I'm sure would be sad but happy that Spider is so cared for and loved. (1/2)

I totally agree, they would feel like they lost another one of their family, because to them spider was like a family dog to them, they cared about him, but he wasn't an equal.

jake - he'd feel guilty, but partly in denial. I think his neglect came partly on his focus on his "real" family, so he'd want to hide from it I think part of him did love spider, he got used to being around, and did want to keep him around; but spider was never his son, he has no intention of truly treating him like a son, and that realization hits him hard and fast. he would want to argue, but I don't think he'd have much to really say.

neytiri - I think to have it laid out in front of her how much harm she caused a child, human or not, especially by another na'vi who had suffered so greatly at the sky peoples hands, would make her feel kinda bad. I think neytiri had a sort of dissconenect when it came to spider, she couldn't see a child, or a victim, she only saw his human body and it got in the way of everything else. she is pissed ronal put her down like that, and hurt on behalf of her children because she knows they're losing another brother, but deep within her, she's so relieved; it wasn't fair to either of them, they both hurt in eachothers presence. I also think spite would make her sort of against it, but at the end of the day, she knows that spider going with ronal is better for them all.

lo'ak - I agree that losing spider right after neteyam would probably make him flip out just a little, even if only in his head, cause he can't lose anyone else. he never really noticed the difference between himself and spider so I think he would be angry as well, angry that spider was leaving 'over nothing'. but I think as he grieve's and recover's as much as one can recover from that he starts to really notice how much happier spider is, not necessarily in the way that he's moved on from neteyam, but in the way that he looks healthier, less empty. he see's displays of affection between spider and his new adopted family he never saw spider receive before, and realizes that they were different, no matter how his mom and dad treated him, he had more then spider. I think their will always be a bitter ache in lo'ak after losing both his brothers so close together, but I think he'd come to realize its for the better. plus, its not like he never sees him again, like they're not brothers, its just a little different now.

tuk - tuk would be heartbroken. I know from the perspective of being a little kid and losing someone like this, you always find a way to twist it that you are to blame. she would think that somehow she's at least part of the reasons spider is leaving, and even when she's convinced otherwise, she still doesn't understand why he has to go, why they can't be family anymore. she makes sure to visit him everyday, and always asks him to come home before she leaves. both of them are broken over it. he can't bring himself to say anything against jake or neytrir, she doesn't need to know how they treated him, she doesn't need to understand, she's still young and innocent; but by not explaining, her little mind comes to every possible conclusion, and most of them are more painful then the truth.

kiri - she understands, though not nearly as badly, the disconnect between her and her adoptive parents. she saw the difference between her and spider, between them two and the 'real' sully's. life was complicated, feelings and love and family was complicated, she didn't necessarily blame her parents, nor spider, but she was saddened by the turn of events. she was angry, and anger weighed her down like a stone; she was angry that her parents never gave spider the love he deserved, mad that spider was leaving for another family after all they went through together, mad that everything was falling apart. but like lo'ak she saw how much happier spider was and couldn't hold it against him, he deserved this, he shouldn't suffer the fate of being loved like a pet and not a son.

I think everyone would be feeling all the feelings very quickly and it would be rough, but its better then they could all hope for. tonowari mediates, doesn't let ronal get too angry, keeps the peace as the kids meet in the middle of the conflict, and makes sure spider is always doing the best he can amongst the chaos.

#spider socorro #miles spider soccoro #spider avatar #avatar spider #miles socorro #tonowari #ronal #jake sully #neytiri #kiri avatar #tuktirey #lo'ak #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #spider tonowari'itan #hi'i'tsyil te fkew'weopx tonowari'itan

[meadowlarkx]

One of my favorite things about the worldbuilding in The Left Hand of Darkness is the "perverts" in Gethenian society—those who are permanently in one of the kemmer forms. The "normal" person on Gethen goes through a kemmer cycle with periods of somer, but that's not every Gethenian. People whose bodies don't work this way get treated with repulsion. Genly compares them to "homosexuals" in his society, and that comparison is really instructive. Gethenians may not have gender roles and identities the way we do, but they do have societal norms, including about bodies and sexuality. And those norms leave people out. They are imperfect and sometimes they are unfair. I think this is part of the point.

In subtle ways, this theme is woven throughout the book's descriptions of Gethenian cultures. To stick to sexuality, something similar can be said about the different norms surrounding incest on Gethen and the empathic treatment of Estraven's past relationship with Arek. There is no taboo about incest between siblings on Gethen, only on siblings vowing kemmering, but if a child is born of it, the parents have to separate (and it seems like Estraven is separated from Sorve because of this). The reason for including this element, in my reading, isn't to impose our own moral standards by "showing" that Estraven's relationship with Arek was "bad" (in fact, we learn fairly little about it, beyond that Estraven cared deeply for him.) Instead, I think it's partly to demonstrate the dissonance between Gethenian mores and our own, and unsettle both. Because, like Genly, we see Gethenian norms as strange, we can notice that they bring about particular situations and cause particular hurts. Even the custom of vowing kemmering monogamously for life, which sounds more familiar, is shown as double-edged. Estraven breaks a taboo by making his "false" vow to Ashe, but was trying to build a new life with Ashe really wrong?

These things are not 1:1 to any "real life" issue, but like everything else in this story, I think they're chosen because they are provocative. It's really meaningful to me that even in terms of gender and sexuality, Gethen isn't painted as a utopia, but as a real place. Le Guin shows us two sets of norms and asks us not just "are our norms arbitrary and/or constructed rather than essential truths?" but also "are norms always socially constructed? Should we question them sometimes? What harm is done to maintain them? Who is being left out?"

#the left hand of darkness #lhod #my posts #thank you alix jouissants for reading over this and aiding me to express more clearly <3 <3 <3 #and idk i am obsessed with ''estraven the traitor'' being a name from folk legend. with the way the character who comes across most moral #and most thoughtful betrays the norms of patriotism and of prejudice against ''perverts''. vows twice and had a child with his sibling #it says something powerful i think about what is really important and more important about a person ultimately. character of all time. #this is not to say the normless utopia could/should exist or that the portrayal of gethenian cultures is wholly negative btw--not at all #constructed =/= useless or without power/meaning or completely arbitrary either #just it is such a thoughtful book. and it's saying so much on so many levels #obviously i haven't even touched here shifgrethor or suicide or the budding nationalism... and i don't have my copy on me. #maybe some of this seems obvious but it feels worth highlighting #edit: there's more to say about the sibling thing and ursula's logic in why a society that places different associations on sex might be #mainly concerned with avoiding kids born of those unions--but i'm thinking here about what we see of estraven's experience

[imminent-danger-came]

I hate the warrior and hero parallels in lmk /j

They just keep spinning in my head nonstop. And it‘s always the same things; oooh MK‘s attitude is so much like Monkey King. With his desire to protect his friends, sharing his mentors fears, and the way he is prone to slipping into a self-centered mindset at times.

…but wait, his heart is much more similar to Macaque, with him wanting to ideally live a simpler life with his friends with no world ending dangers. Quitting while they‘re ahead. Cleaning up his mentors messes and still forgiving Wukong for literally everything. The closest thing to a complaint he uttered being 'where were you?'

Is there anything that could break Wukong‘s hold over either of them? Apparently not.

And Mei as the warrior, MK‘s closest friend, someone who has fought by his side and believed in him since the very beginning; falling to the wayside in those moments where MK get‘s lost in his head or chases the next thing that grants him more power.

But then her actions are more reminiscent of Monkey King. He fought all his closest friends; Macaque, the brotherhood, and DBK, for the greater good. Mei was willing to kill Wukong with little to no hesitation to stop LBD and save the world. To her, power is only meaningful if it is being used for something, staying idle goes against her ideals.

It‘s like they swapped places somewhere along the way.

So would Mei be willing to fight/kill MK if that’s what it took to protect everyone?

There‘s only two genders: Hero and Warrior. And both of them cause me pain.

I‘ve barely dipped my toes into lmk theoies and story analysis and I‘m already going feral.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS MUCH MONKEY BRAINROT???

WELCOME.

The honest answer is that I don't, I don't deal with this much Monkey Brainrot. It's been like this for over 7 months.

And personally, I don't think Mei would willingly fight/kill MK, because MK is one of the main people she wants to protect. Even all the way from 1x04, protecting MK is a main focus of hers:

Mei: "You were gonna eat my best friend! And also these guys!"

-

While crying and screaming at Wukong, one of the main things Mei brings attention to is how he'd put MK in danger:

Mei: "We trusted you! All of us! How could you lead us into the fight without a real plan? Time and time again I've watched you put MK in danger leaving him to figure out EVERYTHING on his own. Don't you realize you're hurting the people who care about you the most?"

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

Which in itself is a parallel to what she says to Peng:

Mei: "How dare you! My friends are in danger because of you! And you're not even going to stick around to finish the job?"

(4x14 Better than We Found It)

-

So it's definitely an interesting question, if Mei's friends are in danger because of one of those friends, what is she supposed to do?

When it comes down to it, I think MK is the friend she values the most. Obviously she loves everyone with her whole heart, but when it comes to "who would she be more likely to sacrifice" MK is at the very bottom of that list (and Wukong is probably at the top lol).

The decision to leave Mei out of the Yellowtusk "The world isn't worth the price of one friend" conversation was very deliberate, because Mei definitely would pay that price, at least for MK. She's going to do everything she can to avoid having to harm MK, and that may be the wrong decision, or it may be the right one. MK choosing not to abandon Mei in 3x10 is what arguably saved the world from being destroyed by the Samadhi Fire, and that's what they do, they "figure it out, together." But what if that's not an option, or doesn't seem like one?

#ANON THANKS FOR BRINGING UP MEI AND SWK PARALLELS BECAUSE THOSE DRIVE ME FUCKING INSANE #I should make a parallels post for them some time #again can not stress this enough Mei's introductory scene was LITERALLY her saving MK. #It makes me very ill #Welcome to lmk story analysis it doesn't stop #I think about Mei's ''we have to try!'' scenes every day #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk analysis #why is the lego tragedy so good. #lmk Mei

[yazzydream]

JJK Playlists: Yuji | Geto | Toji | Gojo

Tired As Hell (Itadori Yuji Playlist)

Somehow Yuji's playlist ended up hurting my heart, but maybe that's just because I know the context. Manga SPOILERS ahead.

→ [Spotify Link]

1. Heart ni Hi wo Tsukete ("Light a Fire in Your Heart") - 9mm Parabellum Bullet

Chosen by Gege Akutami. Oof, sounds like being trapped with Sukuna.

So light it aflame, light my heart aflame, so this'll never disappear again. Burn the loneliness, burn the secrets, won't they turn to ash, won't they turn to ash, see? You and I are stuck to each other, bound tightly together, we just simply can't be alone. You and I are stuck to each other, lying to each other, two tongues tangling up, deeper into the night.

2. Remember the Name - Fort Minor

First and foremost, Yuji is a kickass shonen protag.

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

3. Cursed - Codeko

Always feeling like I'm different Is there a cure for my condition, can't find one Cause I'm cursed Yeah I'm cursed [...]

///

I've learned to laugh at myself, But I'm getting tired as hell, I'm bad at asking for help, even when I need it Every day, it goes the same, Feels like, I can't catch a break I'll try again tomorrow

4. lies - Sion

Getting a mix of Sukuna toying with Yuji even while Yuji is just. suffering.

Tell me a lie I can believe 'Cause everything you say right now seems like gibberish to me (la, la)

///

Are you afraid that I would harm you if you tell me you would leave Na-na-na oh, leave, na-na-na Tell me a lie for my relief Could you stop being ruthless stepping right onto my deepest points?

5. Bring Me to Life x Just the Two of Us - The Gregory Brothers

A mashup that gives Evanescence a nice upbeat fluttery feeling. (Mashup is not available on Spotify so it's pure angst on the Spotify playlist.)

(Wake me up) wake me up inside (I can't wake up) wake me up inside (Save me) call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up) bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) before I come undone (Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

6. Itadori - roseboi

7. New Invention (feat. Tessa Violet) - IDKHOW

Kenjaku made Yuji after all.

The girl is like an architect And I am just a new invention I am just a new invention I am just a new invention You've got to choose between your faces Feels like you're running out of holy places And now the room is getting quiet (shh) Oh, what a shame Nobody taught you how to read and riot Oh, bless my soul I'm losing control

8. bury a friend - Billie Eilish

Shibuya arc இ௰இ

Step on the glass, staple your tongue (Ahh) Bury a friend, try to wake up (Ahh-ha) Cannibal class, killin' the son (Ahh) Bury a friend, I wanna end me I wanna end me I wanna, I wanna, I wanna end me I wanna, I wanna, I wanna– What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

9. Strawberry Fields Forever - Jim Sturgess

When Yuji regains consciousness after Sukuna wrecked Shibuya.

Let me take you down 'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields Nothing is real And nothing to get hung about Strawberry Fields forever

10. Happy Endings (feat. iann dior and UPSAHL) - Mike Shinoda

Did Yuji's grandpa put a curse on him? Why'd he get a hero complex? ┗( T﹏T )┛

Hey, at least in my mind I'm feelin' like I'm the hero that saves me There, I hold my head high Get everything right Delusional maybe If I'm pretending, why not write happy endings? Where I'm better than we both know I could be, oh Still, at least in my mind I'm feelin' like I'm the hero that saves me

11. overwhelmed - Royal & the Serpent

I say this playlist came out more angsty than I expected. It's all because of Yuji's subtle self-loathing post-Shibuya I've been picking at here.

I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety creeps inside of me Makes it hard to breathe What's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else

12. Would Look Perfect (feat. Rxseboy) - Powfu

Yuji, prone to loneliness. Despite Yuji being Yuji, a warm extrovert, ride or die friend, he doesn't appear to have really fit in back home?

See you with your friend group, lonely like I always am Gave a silent wave but, I don't think you noticed it Thinkin' of what happened as I continue my walk I grew up in this town, but somehow I'm feelin' lost Wishin' I was cool, why does everybody fit in?

13. XO Tour Lif3 - Lil Uzi Vert

All my friends are dead, push me to the edge All my friends are dead, yuh, push me to the edge All my friends are dead, yuh, all my friends are dead, yuh

14. Fight Again - Chica, Hiroaki Tsutsumi

JJK season 1 OST

15. Occult Phenomenon - Paranom, Aztech, Hiroaki Tsutsumi

JJK season 1 OST

16. Your Battle Is My Battle - Chica, Hiroaki Tsutsumi

JJK season 1 OST

17. Learn The Lesson - Kasper, Aztech, Hiroaki Tsutsumi

JJK season 1 OST

18. Kimi wa Dekinai Ko ("You're a Useless Child") - Kikuo

Yuji to himself.

You are a useless, useless useless child The most useless child in the whole world

///

La la la Monster, ghost, invisible human A vase, an urinal, being truant With a dry mouth, under your breath You utter slander Let's listen to the monotone squeal Yet months and days pass and pass You're a child with not enough time nor brains Now it's too late, you're mentally retarded You cute child, good child, you belong to me

19. Boys Will Be Bugs - Cavetown

Back before he realized he was just a cog, Yuji was the typical teenage boy.

I'm a dumb teen boy I eat sticks and rocks and mud I don't care about the government And I really need a hug I feel stupid (stupid), ugly (ugly) Pretend it doesn't bother me I'm not very strong, but I'll fuck you up if you're mean to bugs

///

Just turned 14 And I think this year I'm gonna be mean Just turned 14 And I think I know everything Just turned 14 And I think this year I'm gonna be mean Just turned 14 And I think the world revolves around me Don't mess with me, I'm a big boy now, and I'm very scary I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate

20. Two Face - Jack Daniels

A little more literal with Sukuna.

Lately, I've been talking with a ghost He tells me all the places I should go He makes me paint my face so that I know That I'm not the only person in my soul He tells me that a monster lives inside And when it gets too angry I should hide 'Cause if I were to try to pick a fight I would barely stand a chance and I'd die

21. Nosedive - BoyWithUke

I was thinking of Nanami at first, but the vibe was more from a young adult. Well, Yuji's bound to have picked up some things from him.

We're all grown up, we're all so lost Nothin' has prepped us for this life It's like we don't know why Nosediving from the high

22. idtwcbf (friends) - BoyWithUke

Regrets on Megumi, what happened, etc. There's also an asura/mythological vibe I'm digging.

I just wanna stop, had enough, out of love and out of luck I don't wanna give a fuck about my feels, dulls enough Emotionally uninvested, resting for the day to come Try my hardest not to run away from everything I've done But I'm looking back, ignoring facts I see two moon, but walk six paths Inside my head, I'm going mad for you (Oh, oh)

23. A Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley

Yuji, his feelings, and his mom.

Sometimes in the morning, I am petrified and can't move Awake, but cannot open my eyes And the weight is crushing down on my lungs, I know I can't breathe And hope someone will save me this time And your mother's still calling you insane and high Swearing it's different this time And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her And that God never blessed her insides Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things Crawl back into bed to dream of a time When your heart was open wide, and you loved things just because Like the sick and the dying

24. Hope - XXXTENTACION

Tired but hopeful.

Said I wanna die, yuh No, I'm not alright, yuh I might start a riot I'm so fuckin' tired, yuh So what's up? What you say? Feelin' good, I'm feelin' great Tired of the fuckin' hate Stackin' cheese all on my plate So outside of my misery, I think I'll find A way of envisioning a better life For the rest of us, the rest of us There's hope for the rest of us, the rest of us

25. Shake It Off - Taylor Swift

Wasn't sure to include this. Honestly, you can't forget that even after all the misery Yuji goes through, in the end he pushes through with his unrelenting ability to shake it off.

But I keep cruisin' Can't stop, won't stop groovin' It's like I got this music in my mind Sayin' it's gonna be alright

26. Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots

Ugh, that scene where the first-year trio is just hanging out and Nobara spills coffee on Gojo's shirt-- then the hard cut to Nobara dead is devastating EVERY TIME.

Wish we could turn back time

To the good old days

When our mama sang us to sleep

But now we're stressed out (oh)

27. SAD (Clap Your Hands) - Young Rising Sons

Continuing on a more upbeat tune. Todo coming to Yuji's help in Shibuya.

If you're sad and you know it And you don't want to show it Clap your hands If you are sad, that's okay You can clap it all away Just clap your hands Come clap your hands We're all a little sad

28. mercy - KING MALA

Aaand back to the self-hatred. Because things just got worse post-Shibuya.

I've been getting so tired Starting so many fires I always find a way to burn Now I'm begging for mercy From everyone that I've wronged I've done more harm than I thought

///

I'm begging mercy Is there any good inside of me?

29. Antarctica - $uicideboy$

With blood and whatever Drag you outside, let you rot in the weather I don't think I can explain any better I'm $carecrow the Terror I live for the lesser, my birth was an error I am the lord of loneliness I'll hold my breath, just spoke with death He said he hopes for the best Told him I'm roping my neck Then I woke up choking from the hole in my chest

30. It's Alright - Mother Mother

It's hard to pick out just a few sections of the song, so really the whole thing is just... perfect for Yuji. I can imagine the scene post Higuruma vs. Yuji trial.

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay You're not a monster, just a human And you made a few mistakes It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay You're not gruesome, just human And you made a few mistakes It's alright Ooh, it's okay Ooh, it's alright, oh Goddamn I throw a brick right through the window My life ignored the signals I'm high and drunk on ego, can't see straight So I just feel my way around and I'm touching and I'm grabbing Everything I can't be havin' I am broken down in shame

31. Kaibutsu ("Monster") - YOASOBI

Wanting to be stronger and not succumbing to darker feelings.

Over and over again, I sink my teeth Into my weak self Because in this world riddled with mistakes I want to make sure you can smile I don't want to lose anyone anymore And that's why I want to get stronger, even stronger So that I can stay myself I just want to protect you - and that's why I'm running, running, running So that I can overcome the "me" inside myself

32. Kaikai Kitan - Eve

The very first JJK OP. Yuji-coded.

Can't you see I'm a mess? This is the current, pathetic me Just a dead corpse that achieved nothing, go on and ridicule me Yet I quit just running away from everything before my eyes Repeatedly depicting the fantasy in my mind Go to the far side of your imagination Exorcise the darkness, exorcise the darkness Once the veil of darkness descends, that's our cue After the tit-for-tat, leave all the circular battle front line And such nonsense away Don't stop yet, it hasn't ended yet To search more keenly than anyone else for the truth bred in the streets Now only imagine my future being cursed with a curse Running and falling I'll embrace this pain that won't disappear The world is quietly waiting For this moment

33. Itsuka Dokoka de (Someday, Somewhere) - KUCHIRORO

Second song chosen by Akutami. Long, winding, and whimsical. Not available on Spotify.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #playlist #itadori yuji #my jjk #jjk spoilers #yuji itadori

[inneskeeper-receipts]

Threatening legal action is a common tactic abusers use, especially when the person they abused comes forward about the abuse. This is a silencing tactic. I'm not surprised, I guess, but it is disappointing, and frankly fucked up;

I don't have a cent to my name at the moment, and rely on social services to stay alive because I am disabled and can't hold a job because of my disabilities. Fighting with bureaucracy in order to get disability payments and the other accommodations I need is currently my full-time job. Innes is aware of this, because not much has changed since we were together in terms of my finances and overall situation. He would be suing a disabled & impoverished queer trans man.

I am trying to be real about my experiences and what happened to me-- that's a major reason that I've been posting screenshots. They remind me that what happened to me was real, even if it was just online. It's grounding, not to "air dirty laundry", but to have backing proof for what I have been saying. I am not lying.

I was gaslit for so long into believing that it was mutually toxic, no good guys or bad guys but when I looked back at what had been said, there's just... No way that is the case. I literally don't have anything to gain from this except seeing someone be held accountable & experiencing some sense of closure! I am not the one posting my fundraiser link every time I am confronted.

I thought for a long, long time before posting the screenshots regarding Innes' own trauma. I did not want to initially, but I also do not feel it is my responsibility to protect him anymore, and it gives further context and evidence of the zoophilia. I agree, what he went through is fucked up and traumatizing. There's really no other way to put it. But that isn't an excuse to engage in zoophilia, to make zoophilic comments about real life animals, and to talk about committing zoophilia in real life.

The context in which he brought it up was because he had sent me a Gore Magala monsterfucking fic. The discussion was pretty unprompted to be honest, and I was uncomfortable at the time he sent those messages but didn't really know what to say, except that I wanted to be a supporting partner. Again, this was the first time zoophilia was brought up. Not about my own paraphilias or kinks, but about Innes'.

I have not been bringing up the zoophilia in order to hide my necrophilia. I'm not ashamed about having necrophilic fantasies, because I know that they will remain only fantasies-- particularly because the brunt of my fantasies involve me being the corpse.

Despite being kinky and weird, I don't want to hurt anyone in real life just to get off! I think mentioned prior, but there are different classes of necrophilia, some of which are solely fantasies. I'd like to be the more... passionate cathy to someone's heathcliff, you know? & If something does not cause you to harm yourself or others, or does not cause you distress to experience, it's not a disorder or a problem. If it does cause you harm, or cause you to harm other things, then something is wrong and you need to get help.

To reiterate: I don't care what fiction or fantasies someone has. That's not real. I don't care about words on a screen or lines on a page. I care about real harm done.

I do not trust Innes enough to speak with them privately. When I initially came out about the abuse, I told my therapist about the situation, and how Innes had said things would be better "if I had just spoken with him privately". My therapist disagreed: The only thing that would happen if I spoke to Innes privately is that I would be gaslit and yelled at for having the guts to talk about this publicly at all.

Their initial response to this was for them to DARVO me (shoutout to the random person who messaged me about that, I hadn't heard of the term before) and then at every turn they've tried to bring up things about me in order to hide their own flaws and misdeeds.

Our relationship was not mutually toxic. I will admit I probably was not prepared to be in a relationship again; We had started dating when I was still living in a house with my abuser who terrified me so badly I would barricade my door when I slept, and then had few chances to recover from this as I moved back across the country to escape, and immediately began the battle with bureaucracy to secure public housing for both of us. I was constantly trying to find ways to hustle and save money to move him out, while he spent his money on fibercrafts and video games.

He would do things that I found off, but when I'd bring them up, there was always some sort of excuse. The longer we were together the more I felt like I had to form myself into a mold to be what he wanted me to be. I'd be the cat, the bottom, the submissive, as long as it pleased him. The abuse and manipulation was very, very quiet, very subtle. I didn't notice it until years after the fact. There are things he said about or to me that still haunt me, years after. "I would have to be bisexual in order to be with you (intimately)" being one of them.

Also as an aside, just because abuse happened some years ago doesn't mean that the person who was abused should "just get over it" like him, his friends, & his audience seem to want me to do. I do not think for a second that Innes has actually grown or changed as a person but even if they had, that does not negate the harm done to me in the past, nor does it mean I shouldn't talk about it to avoid hurting someone's reputation. How someone responds matters, too.

As I have said many times, I do not think that Innes is an irreparable monster. I think that Innes terminally lacks the ability to take criticism, the ability to introspect, the ability to tell the goddamn truth, and the ability to acknowledge that the people around him are real living human beings and not building blocks for them to get what they want out of them.

These are all things that can be worked on! They're not permanent, unchangeable character flaws! But if Innes continues to have a platform that supports and endorses them being their worst, I don't think that any of that's going to change, and they're still going to be the toxic person I met 4 years ago, but older.

I have found it concerning enough to talk about publicly, because in those years and through my doubts his audience has grown, and though I've had him blocked and his username blacklisted, somehow I would still see posts by him. I saw the entirety of the train derailment saga go down. I saw how he responded, and it was much, much too like what I'd go through whenever I would catch him in a lie.

He positions himself in a seat of authority on here over a variety of subjects that I do not think he has much of a real claim in whatsoever. It is all too convenient, and knowing the details that I do about their personal life I can't help but call all of these alleged credentials into doubt.

Their ego is fed by engagement. I've known this since the start, but in the beginning I really did want to believe that maybe they were a better person and would just be honest. Even bad engagement is still engagement, like how they always respond to hate. They genuinely crave the attention. They were like this when we were together, too.

Their relationship to their online notoriety is inherently an unhealthy one, and I realize now that I've been feeding into it. I have been feeding into my own continued gaslighting. Whenever I struggle, or say what happened to me, there is always a convenient, twisted excuse as to why it was okay to do to me, or how it didn't really happen "like that", or something.

I have realized that there is no "winning" against someone like this, there is no way for me to convince anyone to believe me. I can give all the evidence in the world for what happened to me, but at the end of the day some people will remain unconvinced, even with the most damning screenshots. I have said my piece, I have spoken extensively about my side of things, and I know what is true. The best thing anyone who reads this and believes me can do is report inneskeeper, report their fundraiser, & then block them without engaging. Any engagement towards him is exactly what he wants. I refuse to feed further into Innes' ego.

prev. pin about the author & situation here

tag list:

zoophilia & linking a 17-year-old his nudes

abuse

manipulation

misappropriation of donated money

transphobia

blaming mental health for poor behavior to avoid accountability

lies

how innes affected my own housing stability

archive of this blog (inneskeeper-receipts)

coercive suicide/ideation

#inneskeeper #esotericecology #thetatteredveil

[evelina18-6-blog]

I wanted to clarify why I said yesterday that I dislike the art of pairing Varg and Pelle. This post will be ridiculously long but I've been accused of hating an artist, a person I don't know, but i admit it: I can judge someone I don't know by their art and statements, or suspect things, and those thoughts define whether I take or leave that art. That's how art consumption works on many occasions, I guess.

I can't be blamed for thinking that someone who idealizes Varg (a neon4zi) is a shallow person. I mean, I think the engine of that ship is shallow. Maybe the development of that ship, in fanfics, is deeper, idk (I haven't read V/P fics). I can't just see Varg as a handsome and mentally bright musician, I see the whole picture and find it impossible to imagine tender feelings or a sincere and lasting attitude from him. Pelle, on the other hand, strikes me as a fragile person in his short life, someone who needed to be cared for and at the same time craved solitude. I don't know what Varg needs (besides permanent psychiatric assistance), but in terms of a partner, he is clearly looking for "a mother". Pelle is like an eternal boy, it's too much of a burden (and too much punishment) to take care of Varg. Varg is not a gem that needs polishing, but that's the intention I perceive. I'm not looking to cancel an artist, otherwise I wouldn't be here writing this justification of my opinion. I'm just saying that romanticizing a murderous neo-N4zi with a guy who had nothing to do with him or his ideologies and who was his victim's best friend seems very twisted to me and I want people to keep in mind what things they may be ignoring when they shipe something that looks visually pretty. Here we don't talk about appreciating talent, because that is beyond doubt.

I've said that some fanarts I find sadomasochistic. Drawings of them hugging, with Pelle full of scratches or Varg with long fingernails, like claws like wolf. That seems sadomasochistic to me. And I'm not saying it's wrong, objectively it doesn't seem wrong to me (I've written a fic where, briefly, Pelle uses his "immunity" to physical pain and plays with that and flirts with hurting tosomeone he likes because he can't bring himself to try another way to get close to him, and Pelle wants him to hurt him the same way, that's a bit sadomasochistic). I mean, at least what I perceive in one image, is that the pairing of them, Varg and Pelle, sounds to me like an aesthetic taste, a whim, something that looks cool but has nothing to do with real life events, and the real life events were tragic, so it may be worrying. Pelle was self-harming and Varg proved to be sadistic and violent. One was very emotionally hurt and expressed it by hurting himself, and I think Pelle didn't blame anyone for his problems, he handled it all on his own, as he could (he repressed it and that was bad for him) but, more or less, he did it alone. The other didn't think about his emotions and feelings. He was cold and had uncontainable violence and rancor towards certain ideologies and focused everything on one person. The incompatibility between them seems to me enormous. It's normal for fans who have a deep appreciation for Mayhem to be annoyed to see everything twisted. As I said, I find it visually painful. I haven't read the V/Pelle fics. I'm going to be biased and give my opinion without having read, but I think it's just looking to "save" Varg, to put Pelle as his therapeutic companion and savior. And, as I said, Varg doesn't deserve Pelle, and didn't want him anyway. Being blond and autistic (autistic=very smart person) is not reason enough to be compatible with Varg (because he wouldn't tolerate just any autistic, he would only tolerate the one who doesn't cause much trouble, who doesn't require much care). Varg can use someone like his wife, who is clearly a physically very strong woman, and smart, but manipulable and submissive in other aspects, the complete opposite of Pelle, who seemed physically fragile but with pride and intellectual autonomy. Not to mention she's a racist, that is not having very deep values, and Pelle doesn't give a shit about those things: nationality, racial purity... He loved the east more, what he idealized of the east, grotesque legends about inbreeding and vampires, come on, he liked freaks, not those who pretend to be perfect.

I may be too fond of Oystein and Pelle and I admit to having a crush on Euro for many reasons, but among them, for his political ideology, for his open mind in the 80's and 90's in an environment that is often closed and racist. For my part, I think Pelle and Euro's relationship is complex enough (and especially Pelle separately) to obsess and implement knowledge about psychology: autism, trauma, self-harm. etc. Maybe Varg is more interesting to other people, and that's fine, but Pelle is not a ball that goes from here to there. I am worried that new or naive people will believe that there was a friendship between them and a possible sympathy from Pelle towards Varg, come on, Pelle perceived Varg's falsehood. And Varg envied him, like a suspicious rival. To imply affection between them is to ignore the truth, perpetuate misinformation around Mayhem, and is also to minimize the seriousness of the murder. It is minimizing how poisonous Varg was and is and it is putting Pelle as someone, I don't know, naive and a disloyal friend towards Euro. And Euro deserves that? Maybe I take all this personally, but I believe that when you create art, you should care about the repercussion of your art. I'm not saying that you should always listen to the public and change your own views, but you should care about the ideas that you, in one way or another, propagate with your art and your literature, that's better than continually accusing everyone of not being smart enough to understand your ship based on real people that many of us appreciate and feel close to. Fics and excuses may be full of real facts about psychology. But I'm not interested in being like that, like Varg, accumulating pile of information in a technical way, I prefer knowledge to be combined with reality, with feelings. Another thing, I don't need anyone to say the benefits of creating art, literature, expressing ourselves in characters and addressing our traumas in this way. All types of art and work or activity can be therapeutic. Either doing nothing and just listening to music, or just thinking is therapeutic. It's not an excuse.

#varg vikernes #mayhem #vargelle

[halenhusky309]

Jc stans are trying so hard to make him a dollar store WWX and try to bash WWX in everyturn it's cringy.

and imma be real with you, i was in the MHA fandom for like half a year, and JC stans remind me of bakugo stans.

idk what people find suitable about angry as fuck characters that are hateful (even though bakugo grew and apologize from what I heard, it didn't need to take 300 chapters thank you very much)

like, as someone with anger issues seeing those stans take away the accountability for the actions of the characters they stan "because they are angry and can't help it" is making me so ironically mad.

Because like, anger issues don't mean they can be pieces of shit and hurt people around them without facing consequences.

At this point, I keep questioning if JC stans actually like JC or not. I read enough "metas" about JC, and all I saw were 2.0 WWX with JC's purple aesthetic, daddy issues and tsundere vibe. Almost every WWX's trait were used to describe JC is like, being good brother, caring for well-beings of citizens, being a good uncle, or being level-headed, etc. Please, I want to read how pathetic, abusive and ungrateful JC is when treating other characters, especially WWX, plus due to his lack of accountability and self-reflection, he set up himself to a miserable life.

Not the mention, the amount of time the stans bringing up his trauma and tragedies, and pretending that he was the most tragic character in mdzs while undermining other characters' tragedies like WWX, WN or A-Qing, kinda cheapens JC's tragedy for me. Like please, stop ruining JC for the normal JC enjoyers by excusing his shitty behaviors and actions, and watering him down into the most boring and lame-ass Gary Stu character ever for your projections.

There's a pattern of character that is shitty and terrible to others (even cause great harms to abused), will automatically have a free pass if he or she has abused or tragic backstories. It is even worse when people blame all the terrible actions and behaviors of the character onto the abused victims and circumstances, which takes all agencies away from that character. And now, whenever we try to point out the shitty parts of those types of character, we get the "anti" label, and worse of all, "anti-survivors".

#anon ask #canon jiang cheng #Not gonna lie I do feel bad for JC for how the stans just make him look worse as in character wise #Sometime it would be due to the stans want their faves to be the main

[linked-through-the-centuries]

Hey! I was looking through the information about your Links, and I really like the direction your AU is going :D I'm always a fan of some HW brothers content and I love the potential of having totk/botw Link with AoC Link :D

I do want to let you know though, that some parts of the character information can come off ableist. I'm confident it was never your intent, but I highly encourage doing research before representing disabled people--mentally and physically. (Pardon, this might run a little long, I'm rambly and I'm very passionate about doing your own research before you represent communities, since we're a system with BPD, PPD and chronic pain. Misinformation only hurts the communities you try to represent, and disability is NOT an aesthetic).

With that in mind, I would like to point out that Tears "traumatising the others by taking off his arm" can come off incredibly misinformed about Prosthetics. Amputees do not wear their prosthetics all the time, they aren't surgically attached to their bodies and "traumatises" implies that the act of taking off an assistive device can be scary/unsettling when it should not be. Many amputees will actively go days without wearing their prosthetics, and a lot of them even have wheelchairs or canes to suffice :D wearing a prosthetic all day every day without taking it off can be extremely unhealthy.

The other thing I want to point out is Tune answering with "for the aesthetic" when asked why he wears an eyepatch and that he actually didn't lose an eye. Respectfully, but partial blindness is not an aesthetic 😭😭 I understand that its the "pirate" aesthetic but...those pirates...usually actually have lost their eyes. For light sensitivity, there are real assistive devices called "Blackout Glasses" which are used to reduce incoming light to the sensitive eyes. Though, I can also understand that since this is his answer and not a narrative excuse, it's possible it's just ableism that the character displays but the narrative doesn't excuse but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

That all being said, I don't think you were intentionally ableist and I'm not calling you ableist either /clar I mean no disrespect and I love your AU so far, I'm interested to see more of it, but I'm coming from a place of care when I say that there's aspects of it that can seem misinformed. Disability is already so vastly misunderstood in the internet sphere and it's a serious problem that inhibit millions of people; not an aesthetic or something you can put into stories to make characters more interesting or push traumatic backstory.

(Also, feel free to Not post this, there's no obligation to! My tumblr is just heinously broken and I can't send DMs.)

Thank you for sending this! It was absolutely not my intent at all to cause harm or misrepresent. As someone who is disabled myself, I believe representation is so so so important and I try my best to do as well as I can. I’ve done a lot of research to write characters with experiences different from my own correctly and as respectfully as possible.

I fully acknowledge I was in the wrong by using the word ‘traumatized’ to describe how Tears suddenly taking off his arm makes the others feel, and I deeply apologize for that. The word I meant was ‘startled’, and I have fixed that. Thank you for bringing that to my attention! I struggle with tone and words and that is no excuse, and I definitely used the wrong word so thank you so much for pointing that out. I know it is uncomfortable to wear prosthetics for long periods of time which is why Tears takes theirs off, however the reason I said it’s a bit startling to the others is because they had no idea it was a prosthetic the first time it happened. Tears wears a lot of long sleeves, especially at first, and the prosthetic simply isn’t visible, and he didn’t warn the others, he just simply took it off. It can be quite shocking to see your friend suddenly remove their arm. The others also often forget he has a prosthetic and worry if that arm of his gets ‘hurt’ before remembering Tears is completely okay. Again, I am so sorry, I did use the wrong word, that is my fault, I have fixed it.

As far as Tune and his eyepatch goes, I haven’t had the opportunity to write out a full post about him, but he is based on me. To explain it further: one of his eyes is very sensitive to the light, the other is fine, hence why he only covers one. It is very hard for him to see in bright lighting with his right eye, so he covers it to protect it. There’s nothing “wrong” with it, it was never injured, it’s just always been that way. He takes the patch off when he’s in dimly lit rooms or areas because his eye can handle low levels of light, so he’ll take it off when he goes below deck in order to see because that eye is adjusted to darkness. Again, his vision situation is based solely off of myself and the way I experience highly and lowly lit areas, though I have also done some research on the situation in addition to using my own experience. I’ve had to wear eyepatches, I know how uncomfortable they are. He wears it for a functional reason, but he doesn’t like to explain that to people because they don’t tend to understand, so he jokes around abut it. He may say it’s for that pirate aesthetic, but without it, he’s in immense pain. His eyepatch protects him

If I have upset anyone by Tune still having an eye and wearing an eyepatch I am truly sorry /gen. It was never my intention to cause harm or make anyone upset. Thank you for bringing this to my attention though, if you have anything else, please let me know and don’t hesitate to reach out, /gen, I know you said your dms weren’t working

I try my best to do research on the things I am unfamiliar with, but for the most part, I tend to write about things I have personally experienced :)

#jes talks #linked through the centuries #lttc tune #lttc tears

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Real quick PSA for the followers, just to make sure my positions are clear on some issues and to make sure I am not causing any unintentional harm (that devolved into a minor hiatus):

-If I'm intending to talk about something specific, I'll mention it, I promise.

-I do be forgetting that you all recognize me on both my A03 and my tumblr. It is surprising to me every time. I tend to be vERY flippant on here, especially in my tags. I think we have reached a point where I should be more careful lol. I am not used to having an actual effect, so if I have an effect you don't appreciate, or I say something hurtful, please please bring it up to me! Dms, anon, replies; idc, I'm always down for a conversation.

-I am not in the business of apologies I do not mean, and I certainly do not back down from my opinions, I think that's been fairly clear. So, if I apologize it's because I mean it, and that won't change.

-I make a lot of posts that are critical of fandom culture in a lot of different fandoms, and culture around specific characters as well. I want it to be very clear that unless I am directly interacting with another user, then the criticism should never surround anyone specific. I never want to direct hate ever, unless I'm tagging.

-If there are questions about the appropriateness of my headcanon posts in response to asks, that can be changed. I would really hate to be making my very small community uncomfortable. I had thought I was fairly clear on the blogs boundaries and what I think is appropriate, but perhaps I haven't been careful enough. Please feel free to address issues with me, or to block me. That is always an option of course.

Uh, that being said, I might take a couple days. I have used this blog for fun and friends since 2015, it's not my first time fucking up nor will it be the last. But, it's upsetting to me that my blog might be harmful to some (who I hadn't intended it to be harmful to, it's always been an active warzone for irredeemable character excusers lol, since 2015). The queue will go on as usual but no new posts for a bit while I figure out if things need to change. I'll respond to DMs tho, probably, bc I'm obsessed with my mutuals.

#rip to the finish the asks today mission I was on #i'll probably feel less bummed tomorrow hopefully #but i have disturbingly strict morals for some reason and it makes me upsetty spaghetti when i feel like i wasn't living up to them #but again; this is not aT anyone please god i'm simply wordvomitting #what i said got me here and that is my fault of course and thats fine that's a non issue #i just am now worried that i was being harmful before that #my therapist also named melissa is gonna love this #i have a list going of things i think we need to discuss and before today it was “i should be diagnosed with something” #“is it bad to keep peer pressuring my mom to get a new dog” #and “what does it mean that when my mom folds my clothes i have to refold them like marie kondo” #now we finally have a real topic lollll #that kid at work better not say everything is my fault when i make him wash his hands again i might loose it #that was a joke for claritys sake #gimmie a day or two to put back on the armor back on lol #i am moral and always have a clear well written and opinionated answer that i feel strongly about #and won't ever change my position on and everything i do is for the good of the oppressed #that armor #hubris is the ultimate enemy of self doubt #that is another joke #melissa og #melissa bullshit