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Moving Forward - Chapter 53

Merry Christmas to all of you <3 NSFW ahead :)

“We live in a changing world, but we need to be reminded that the important things have not changed, and the important things will not change if we keep our priorities in proper order.“ - S. Truett Cathy    

The coffee was hot and surprisingly good, even though it had come without the shot of rum she would have loved, and really needed on this particular Wednesday morning.

The entire lot of the North Shore Studios in Vancouver was exceptionally bustling this morning, and maybe she wasn’t used to it anymore or she really was that stressed out, but she was glad to sit in this quiet trailer on this comfortable couch, far, far away from any trouble. Or so it seemed.

David stepped into his trailer in full Mulder gear. She knew that they had spent the entire previous day in Mulder’s office and would be there until noon today. He’d told her that they’d move to a country club in Pitt Meadows to shoot the dancing sequence this afternoon. And with wrapping the fifth episode, Melanie hoped that the rumors and accusations, which were currently making their rounds on social media, would also come to an end. It had only been a day, but she already had enough of it for a very long time.

Especially since David still appeared to be absolutely relaxed when he closed the door of his trailer behind him and stepped up to the couch where she’d been waiting for him for at least twenty minutes now.

“Good morning!” he said cheerfully and flashed her one of those annoyingly disarming smiles of his before he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and flopped down next to her. He immediately started to loosen up his tie.

“Morning,” Melanie grumbled into her coffee and rolled her eyes. She was still fuming, and he still seemed absolutely oblivious.

When he left their little meeting last night, she’d secretly hoped that the rumors of him having an affair with his very young dancing instructor would evoke the same reaction in Gillian as it had in her, especially after learning that a stupid post on Instagram by said dancing instructor was the root of the problem.

Now, Melanie had to shake her head over her own naivety. As if Gillian, the queen of bad, insinuating social media posts, would’ve been bothered by such a thing.

Apparently, she was the only one of them realizing that David’s name attached to a slinky picture of a half-naked young woman and a suggestive offer wasn’t making that much of a good impression out there.

“And, how are things this morning?” David asked and folded his hands behind his head, looking at her with what she’d call an almost challenging expression.

Greetings from Gillian, Melanie thought and pursed her lips. It wasn’t like she wasn’t up for the challenge, but she’d rather just have a conversation with a fairly level-headed David. “Oh you know, it takes a while before such news make it around the globe, so-”

“So, everything’s fine.”

She shot him a warning look. “You know damn well how fast these things can get out of hand, so don’t you come to me with some bullshit like ‘see, Mel, everything you made me do last night wasn’t necessary’.”

He raised his hands defensively. “Wouldn’t even cross my mind. Look, I’m grateful for everything you do for me. But…” David shrugged his shoulders, “it wasn’t Dani’s intention to cause trouble. And it’s not like I have something to hide, or anything to be ashamed of.”

“I know that, David. But it’s my job to protect you from those who don’t care about you and your family. No matter if it’s a random fan who likes to accuse people of all kinds of things, someone you work with, or-” she suddenly stopped, pressing her lips together in a thin line.

“Or?” he leaned forward, searching her face.

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Or my girlfriend, is that what you wanted to say?”

“I didn’t say she doesn’t care. I’m just saying that… she’s not making the best choices when it comes to her or your public image.”

David sighed and clenched his jaw, leaning back against the cushions. “I think she just doesn’t take it that seriously. As in, it doesn’t bother her what people are saying online.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear. But frankly, I don’t really care if Gillian minds or not. When I say I’m trying to protect her, I basically mean trying to protect her from herself. Because we have a plan here, David, and that goes beyond what she finds acceptable or not. My concern is how things will affect you, your public image, and your children. If Gillian doesn’t care that a young woman lets everyone know that she wants - an affair, or whatever - with you, or if Gillian herself just loves to rile people up on social media with all those innuendos-”

“Mel-” David tried to cut in.

“You know what I think about that, David. It will backfire eventually. You talk to me in a couple of years.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “It’s just for fun…”

“Until it isn’t just fun anymore. We have next to no control over social media. I can’t stop people from talking or spreading crazy rumors, and literally everything could get viral these days, no matter if it’s true or not.”

“And what am I supposed to do? We all know what she does keeps people interested in us and the brand. They want to know and see what we’re up to, especially while we're here in Vancouver. People want the banter. And of course,” he raised his hands and gave a half shrug, “they want to know how the baby's doing.”

“She uses your relationship and plays with your privacy, and I will never be a supporter of that. We’ve been through this time and time again. How come she just doesn’t want to learn anything from the past?”

“Hey, please give her a break. She just enjoys sharing tiny bits of our lives, and she likes to tease. That’s just how she is. I might not participate all the time, but I definitely won’t take that away from her. It doesn’t harm anyone.”

Melanie sighed and shook her head. It was useless. She’d left meetings with him and Gillian feeling like life had been sucked right out of her - not just once, but multiple times over the last fifteen years. While he usually wasn’t that much of a tough case, Gillian had the ability to talk you into the ground, and everything that was left of you, in the end, could be compared to a kitten who’d just gotten run over by a bulldozer.

It had gotten worse in the last two years, and Melanie knew that this was mostly due to her own doing. While she had no idea how on earth Gillian had found out or who’d told her, she knew that ever since Gillian learned that Melanie had advised David to stay quiet about his involvement in Gillian’s pregnancy, she’d lost her.

It had been a mistake, one that had hurt Gillian very bad, and one Melanie was trying to make up for it ever since, and if it was just for Eaden - that wonderful little girl that was the best thing that could’ve happened to David and Gillian. She would do everything in her power to keep her out of the spotlight and make sure she could live a normal, happy life. Because ultimately, that’s what David and Gillian both wanted for their daughter.

Melanie just didn’t understand why Gillian was acting so carelessly these days. She clearly had fun and was receiving the attention she was looking out for. But after so many years, she had to be aware that everything came with a price - right?!

“Okay, what do you need me to do?” David offered, taking her hand.

She huffed out a laugh and shook her head.

A knock on the door made them both jump, and without waiting for an invitation, the door was being pulled open and a tall man with long brown hair stepped into the trailer. Set life had always been more convenient than polite, Melanie remembered.

“Dave?” the guy asked, and his eyes grew wide when he spotted Melanie. “Oh, sorry! I don’t wanna disturb, but we need you on set.”

David looked up and furrowed his brow. They’d been told it would take another half an hour to finish setting up Mulder’s office for the next scene. “What, why?”

The man shrugged his shoulders, but his one corner of his mouth tilted up in a lopsided grin. “Hurry up, they’re waiting!”

David groaned. “I’ll be out in a minute, Fred,” he finally replied and waited until the man had disappeared before turning back to Melanie, looking at her with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. You want to come?”

With a light chuckle, she patted his hand, inhaled deeply and shook her head. “Thanks for the offer, but no,” she stood up and grabbed her coat. “But don’t you worry… you did what you could do. Everything else’s my job,” Melanie winked and turned for the door.

Just when she was about to open it, he stopped her with his hand on her shoulder and smiled as he took her coat and held it up so she could slip in.

“You keep me updated?” he asked and opened the door for her.

Melanie looked up at him and managed a weak smile. The whole situation had put much more stress on him than he was willing to admit. She knew him, very well actually. His first concern was always his family, and how his actions would affect every single member of it. And while it wasn’t his doing what had happened in the last twenty-four hours, Melanie was sure that if Gillian had reacted differently, she’d have much more work to do now. In that respect, he was just a normal man deeply in love with his woman.

Mulder’s office hadn’t been used for over 13 years, and that’s exactly what it looked like in 2015. That was the weirdest part about coming back; that nothing was looking the way David was used to. It was stupid, really. The show had ended a lifetime ago, and everything had changed since then. But this modern, half furnished, too tidy and too spacious office didn’t resonate well with him, and he couldn’t really pinpoint why.

Another thing David didn’t understand right away was how his baby daughter and Piper had ended up in the middle of all of this, and it took him a few moments to take the whole scene in.

Eaden was standing by the desk, still clad in her bright pink pajamas, bedhead at its finest, holding onto one of the blue chairs for dear life. Chris was standing a few feet behind her with a full-blown grin on his face while Piper was kneeling at the other end of the table in front of Eaden, waving her little sister nearer. And Dean, their camera first assistant, was filming everything with their documentary camcorder.

“This is our little girl Eaden, who’s so close to taking her very first steps,” Dean announced proudly and panned the camera away from Eaden to Piper, who gave him the thumbs up, “and that’s her big sister Piper, who took her first steps on this very same lot twenty years ago. Isn’t that cool y’all?”

“Although I was much younger than this lazy little cub,” Piper added with a laugh and extended her arms towards Eaden. The little one was just standing there with her feet wide apart, chewing on her fingers and looking cautiously up at the tall man with the unruly gray curls. “Come on, baby! Come to me!” Piper cheered exuberantly, trying to get Eaden’s attention.

David spotted Gillian to his right standing by the room divider, all dressed up as Scully and taking pictures of her daughters with her phone, her expression a mixture of sheer pride and childish excitement. He couldn’t help but grin at that sight. She was so darn precious.

Coming up behind her, David put his hand on Gillian’s waist and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Hey, what’s happening here? Is she about to walk or are they just taking over our show?”

With a big smile sneaking up on her face, Gillian leaned back against him and shrugged her left shoulder. “Maybe both, I’m not so sure of the walking yet, though. She just woke up and Tina brought her in for her good morning kiss, but she wanted down and crawled around and all of a sudden, she pulled herself up and attempted to take her first step. She just put her foot forward, looked at it for a few seconds, and then pulled it back. She’s making it super thrilling here.”

“Hmm,” he hummed amusedly and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. “I wonder who she got that from; that streak for the dramatic.”

“Hey!” she lightly stabbed her elbow into his side, and after he winced almost dramatically, they fell into soft laughter and he pulled her closer to his chest.

“Come here, honey. You can do it! Just one step, sweetie!” Piper continued to encourage her little sister, who was now concentrating on Chris coming closer to her.

“She’s not gonna do it,” Gillian sighed, watching Chris squatting down beside Eaden and starting to rub her back.

“Nah, have some faith, Mom. She will, she will… although, can you see how she’s looking at Chris?” he nodded his head towards them, and they started to chuckle at the same time.

Eaden’s little face, the big, doubtful eyes and scrunched eyebrows were just too much. Chris and kids, that combination had always provided the best material for some good laughter. He was so, so nice and gentle with them, but unbelievably awkward at the same time. Piper had always loved him to pieces, but Eaden still wasn’t entirely convinced.

“There’s a fifty-fifty chance that in the next ten seconds, she’ll either start to cry or run away from him. My bet is on the crying, though.”

Gillian chuffed a laugh through her nose and nodded.

He crouched down a bit and rested his head against hers, his gaze shifting between her phone and her face. She was concentrating hard, tilting the device from one side to the other, then tapping on the screen repeatedly to try to get her daughters, and Chris, in focus.

It was moments like this that made him the happiest, simply because she was happy.

For a long time, David had wished he could bottle those moments and feelings up and pull them out whenever needed - whenever she was unhappy, or whenever he’d made her sad again. But over the years, he’d learned to concentrate more on the present, on what he was doing and what was happening now instead of holding too tightly onto the past. Cherishing each moment, each memory, whether they were good or bad, but trying his best to make good decisions for everybody’s happiness and joy, that’s what he was concentrating on nowadays.

“Oh!” Gillian’s eyes widened, and David looked up to watch Eaden putting her right foot forward while Chris slowly let go of her. “David!” she breathed almost inaudibly, too scared that she would break some kind of spell if she spoke any louder. He gave her an affectionate squeeze, letting her know that he was just as excited as she was.

When Eaden’s little foot hit the ground, they both gasped and held their breaths. She was standing up all by herself now without any support, and the whole room had gone completely quiet with everyone’s eyes glued to Eaden, who was cautiously putting more weight on her right leg.

And then everything happened so unbelievably fast, almost too fast for a 15-month-long wait.

She lifted the other leg, and all of a sudden, she was standing a whole step away from Chris, arms outstretched to her sides to help maintain her balance, mouth and eyes wide open in both awe and shock at what just happened.

“There you go, girl!” Piper laughed and clapped her hands.

Realizing that Gillian was just staring at the girls by now and had completely forgotten about her phone, David reached over her shoulder and took a couple of pictures for her.

She just nodded her thank you, too awestruck to say anything in that moment, and sniffled. He was sure that she was already crying, and that someone would need to redo her makeup before they could start to shoot the last scene in here. Not that it mattered; not in the slightest.

The only thing that mattered was their little girl with that huge smile taking another wobbly step and then a third, getting more and more confident with herself, and determined to reach her sister’s waiting arms. He couldn’t be any prouder.

“We have a toddler, babe,” David whispered, and Gillian took a deep, shaky breath, before answering, “We sure do.”

And what a toddler they had all of a sudden.

By the time Gillian was done for the day, Eaden was able to walk along the whole length of her mother’s trailer and was immovable of her decision to do it over and over again, much to the dismay of her nanny Tina.

The rest of the day was, to put it mildly, exhausting beyond words.

From the point Gillian had strapped her daughter into her car seat and headed off for lunch with an old friend, the little girl wouldn’t stop screaming until Gillian sat her down and let her run loose. Which had made having a decent conversation or time to eat in peace almost entirely impossible.

With her mother hot on her heels, Eaden walked to everything and everyone she found even remotely interesting, and even though she wasn’t very fast yet, she was tripping over her own feet very, very often, which lead to quite a few tears over the course of the day.

After settling the boys for the night, both tired to their bones due to an adventurous day at a children's camp out in the forest, Gillian contemplated whether she should run herself a bubble bath or simply crash on the couch to watch whatever bad soap opera she happened to come across first.

But she was restless, agitated even despite the long, draining day and the short night prior to it.

Shortly after Eaden and Felix had finally fallen asleep in her bed last night, Gillian went downstairs to give her assistant Alison a call, who’d unsuccessfully tried to reach her while she almost got knocked out by one of Eaden’s knees.

From what Alison had told her alone she wouldn’t have been able to fall back to sleep right away, but then David came home, joined her on the couch, buried his head into her lap and started to talk for the next hour.

Now that the house was quiet and she had nothing to do, Gillian was slowly starting to process everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. And all she wanted to do now was burying her own head into the warmth of his lap and let it all go.

She was sitting at the kitchen counter, chewing on the straw she’d put in her can of Red Bull when she heard someone coming in the front door at around 8 pm.

Piper was mustering her mother and that faraway look of hers suspiciously when she entered the kitchen and let her heavy backpack slide to the floor.

“Hey, baby. How are you?” Gillian asked and ran her hand over her face in an effort to pull herself out of her reverie.

“Hey, I’m good, but busted. Is everything alright?” Piper retorted and headed for the fridge. Her entire shirt was covered with splashes of red paint.

Must’ve been a busy day for her as well, Gillian determined as she watched her daughter retrieving a bottle of coke, and began to nod slowly. “Yeah, I’m just… I can’t sleep.”

“Still too excited?” Piper grinned and took a swig, but Gillian gave her a questioning look. “Because Eaden’s walking now?”

“Oh that, yes... yeah,” Gillian chuckled. “But, um…” she licked her lips. “Would you mind terribly looking after Eaden and the boys for a couple of hours? They’re already in bed.”

“Umm, no. No, I wouldn’t mind. I just wanted to watch some TV before going to bed anyway. Why? You wanna go out?”

Gillian nodded with a smirk. “I think I’d like to surprise someone.”

The parking lot of the Rooster’s Country Cabaret was filled with trucks and trailers, so Gillian parked at the nearest McDonalds, bought herself and Rob, the elder security guard standing in front at the parking lot, a coffee and walked over.

The air had cooled considerably in the last couple of hours, and Gillian was glad she’d put on her black leather jacket over her sleeveless dress and had chosen the knee boots over the heels. With this outfit, she might’ve been able to convince Chris to let Scully do a lap-dance after all, she thought and snickered to herself. Not that she was intending to go anywhere near him again tonight, or anyone on set for that matter. Except for one.

Rob had no problem to let her sneak into David’s trailer, happy with his warm beverage and the quick hug he’d been given.

They were still laughing hard when they stepped out of the stuffy, hot club and into the cool summer night, having had one of the best and most memorial shooting nights thanks to Mitch, Tom, Dean and Bruce. And, of course, the mushroom stamp.

Honky-Tonk Mulder with his eagle shirt, the cowboy hat and the girls dancing around him really was the weirdest thing David had done in a very long time. And that was pretty telling.

“Hey, some people and I will have a drink Downtown, just to unwind a bit. You wanna come?” she offered, and he stared at her for a couple of moments before he found his voice again.

“Um,” David chuckled nervously and averted his eyes to the ground. At this point in his life and at his age, he found himself actually blushing at such an offer. He cleared his throat. “Uh, thank you, Dani. Sounds fun, but I have to pass. I just want to go home to my-, to Gillian and Eaden.”

“Oh, okay. I hope I… didn’t cause you too much trouble and that’s why you can’t come? Because Gillian thinks we-”

“Oh no,” he was quick to reply. “No. Don’t worry, she had a good laugh over it,” he nodded reassuringly, knowing she was genuinely worried. “But I’m old, and I can't wait for to hit the pillow. And if I’m lucky, there might even be a massage in store for me,” he winked.

“Oh, you wouldn’t want to miss that!”

They laughed and stopped, both turning to face each other.

David shook his head. “No, I really don’t.”

“So… I guess I see you tomorrow?”

“You will. I will not disappoint you, I promise!” he grinned, referring to the dance sequence they would shoot tomorrow.

“I’m sure you won’t. Good night, David.”

“Night, Daniela,” he raised his hand to wave at her and turned, heading to his trailer on the other end of the parking lot.

A change of clothing and a quick beer and he would be out of here, David thought, walking up the stairs to his trailer and opening the door while pulling his phone out of his back pocket.

He didn’t look up when he closed the door and started to text his driver when suddenly, two arms came up around his waist and pulled him backward.

David jolted and gasped, almost dropping his cell, his heart beating fast in his chest until he looked down at himself and found two small, familiar hands making their way up his torso. That’s when he finally took a deep breath, and her wonderful scent filled his nose.

“Jesus!” he exhaled, reaching up to interlace their fingers right over his heart. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Hmm?” she hummed against his back.

“You scared me.”

“A little girl like me can scare a big guy like you?”

He didn’t answer, but brought her hand up to his lips before turning around to look at her.

“Hey,” he said, the surprise evident in his face. Now that he could see her, and her radiant appearance, it was a rather good surprise. Her outfit was a dark, dangerous contrast to the blond hair spilling over her shoulders in soft waves. She wasn’t wearing any makeup except for dark mascara. “Wow, you look-” he let his eyes fell over her perfect collarbones to the soft swell of her breasts and licked his lips. “Wow.”

She pressed herself against him, her nose brushing along his neck up to his ear followed by her hot, moist breath causing goosebumps to erupt everywhere.

“I thought you had your heart set on a quiet night at home.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, starting to nibble at his earlobe. “We can do that later.”

He closed his eyes at the sensation of her wet little tongue teasing the sensitive patch of skin behind his ear, and his groin tightened.

She was on fire tonight, and he was the last one to ask more questions than necessary at this point. She was here, hands tucking impatiently at his fly and a pair of soft, full lips had just landed on his mouth. What else did he need to know?

“You’re hard,” she said matter-of-factly, but needed to squeeze him through his jeans to get his attention.

“Huh?” David stammered, fidgeting with her dress, trying to pull it over her thighs. Why was this thing so fucking long?

“You are hard, Mr. Duchovny. Are you hard for another woman?”

“What?” he cried out, his eyes big and dark. “No!”

“Hmm,” she gave him another squeeze, and he buried his head into her neck, almost as if to hide. “Are you sure that all these hot young girls dancing around you didn’t cause this? Were they touching you? I bet they were.” With his fly now open, she reached inside, finding him hot and pulsating beneath his trunks.

“Did they turn you on?” she asked, her voice incredibly sultry. When he didn’t react again, she grabbed him by the balls. “I know they’d turn me on.”

He growled into her neck, his knees weakening by the second. God, what was she doing? Trying to kill him?

“It did turn me on,” he whispered when he finally found a way inside her dress. Having her soft skin underneath his fingers made him feel much more confident to play along.

“Hmm, naughty. So, so naughty.” He felt like crying when she pulled her hand out of his pants, and he squeezed the flesh of her hips to keep her close. She peered up at him; accusingly, defiantly, playfully - he couldn’t really decide, but it made his cock surge with desire.

A goofy smile began to spread across her face. Uh-oh, David’s eyes widened.

Slowly, oh so slowly, she squatted down in front of him, taking his pants with her and letting them fall to his feet.

“I think,” she tucked her fingers into the elastic waistband of his boxers, “I need to remind you,” she pulled, and his erection sprang free, “of a thing… or two.”

David swallowed, feeling excitement ripple through him. “What do I need to be reminded of?”

She puckered her lips, tilted her head to the side and ran her fingertips over the exposed skin of her neck.

“Fuck,” he growled beyond himself. Gillian’s idea of punishment was a wicked one, but it was always working.

One of her hands landed on his upper thigh, bracing herself on it while she wrapped the other around his thick shaft, her thumb swiping over his sensitive glans. She tucked at him once, twice, and then let go, raising her hand and sticking her digit into her mouth.

And then she hummed. She hummed in pleasure and closed her eyes.

Jesus.

Yes, he remembered. He remembered very well how much she liked his taste.

“Yeah,” she nodded as if she was able to read his mind.

She released her thumb with a plop, sucked her cheeks in and ejected a gush of saliva onto her fingers before putting them back around his penis.

“Oh,” he reached behind himself for something to hold onto, anything to steady himself with. He didn’t find anything, so he tangled his fingers into her hair.

She raised her eyebrow at him. “Mr. Duchovny, are you swaying? Not because of me, right?” she asked innocently.

“Hunn,” he grunted, wondering when exactly her mouth had come so close to his erection. Did he pull her towards it? No, he didn’t, right?

Oh well, she was grinning now. He actually did pull her closer to his cock.

“Good boy,” she praised and slid her lips over the head of his penis, feeling him tighten his grip on her hair. She looked up expectantly, but he didn’t make a move, even started to tremble from the effort of holding still.

She let her tongue swirl around the underside of his head a couple of times, lubricating it before taking him in deeper and pressing him up against the roof of her mouth.

“Fuck, Gillian,” David finally found his voice again. He gently rocked his hips against her, knowing that she had everything under control thanks to that brilliant little tongue of hers. God, how lucky was he that the woman he loved enjoyed this so much?

She cupped the hand with which she’d steadied herself around the base and squeezed lightly, creating pressure to direct more blood flow to the head.

The sensation increased immediately, and he moaned out loud.

“Fuck, Gillian.” Didn’t he just say that a couple of moments ago? “Babe,” he tried again, cradling her cheek with his other hand. “I wanna…”

“Hmm?” she hummed before slowly releasing him. “You want what?”

“Touch you. I want to touch you.”

“Is that so?” she teased, licking her way along his erection and down to his balls and without warning, sucked one of them into her mouth.

“Fuuhuuck, babe, come here. Please, come here,” he begged and pulled at her jacket, needing to kiss her so, so badly.

After giving his glans a last, lingering kiss, she slowly stood up and smiled at him. God, she was beautiful.

“Oh, so compliant all of a sudden,” he said and pulled her against him with one arm around her waist while the other pushed her jacket off her shoulders. “Is this dress new?”

She shrugged her shoulders, and her jacket fell to the floor. “Maybe.”

He pushed her back and let his eyes wander over her. It was a really, really tight dress, reminding him of one she’d worn for a photoshoot a couple of years ago. Yeah, he was good at remembering these things.

She suddenly grabbed his wrist and pulled him down, capturing his lips with hers. She tasted of coffee and of himself. So incredibly good.

She clutched for his ass; flesh hard, skin soft. She’d never met a man with such soft skin in her entire life. How was this even possible, she wondered.

He groaned into her mouth and reached around her, finding a zipper in the middle of her back.

It would’ve required just a minimum of common sense to not be surprised that she wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath this tight little thing, but apparently, he just didn’t have it. Not at this point anyway.

“Oh fuck,” David uttered, not able to stop saying it over and over again. “You’re breathtaking, you know that, right?”

Truth was, she didn’t feel all that breathtaking the majority of the time. She knew that she was good-looking, but she’d always wondered what it was about her that was driving this man completely crazy. She could act as cool as she wanted, but the fact that he wanted her, and just her, would always bring her down to earth, and flood her with so much gratitude and joy she was barely able to breathe.

He had her in his arms before she knew it, carrying her over to the couch they’d slept countless of times on in the last couple of weeks.

And suddenly, she was lying underneath him. His head had disappeared between her legs, and she was only able to feel – his breath on her inner thighs, his mouth placing gentle kisses on her outer lips, and then, finally, his tongue diving into her slit.

“David,” she sighed, bucking her hips into his face.

She couldn’t think clearly anymore by the time one of his fingers entered her, the sensation too good, too overwhelming. This was not what she had planned, but much, much better. Sometimes, it was good to lose control and to trust someone else to take the lead.

He was moving his face from side to side, up and down. His fingers were kneading the curves of her ass, his tongue tracing her outer lips and his lips sucking on her clit.

Her legs started to quiver around his head and she was whimpering for her release. He slowly made his way up, kissing her stomach and gently biting her nipples, just how he knew she liked it, before lifting her legs onto the mattress.

He climbed over her and smiled when he came to a rest between her legs.

Her cheeks were flushed, mouth slightly open. “So beautiful,” he whispered, and this really was his most favorite sight.

“Oh god,” she mumbled as he pushed into her, sinking deep into her warmth.

David held her close for a couple of moments, enjoying to be surrounded by her tight walls before starting to rock against her.

Gillian was incredibly relaxed now, responding to every thrust he gave her with a soft moan. She wrapped her legs around his waist, dug her nails into his back and started to kiss him again.

Nothing about this was rushed anymore. It was two people savoring the sensation of being connected, making love in every conceivable way.

They came quietly with their fingers tightly interlaced beside her head, and she was still shaking even after he’d slid out of her and gathered her close to his chest.  

She was still exhausted, but her body was finally calming down.  

“I’m so deep into loving you as anyone could be,” he whispered, and she raised her head slightly off his shoulder, eyes sparkling with amusement. He chuckled and squeezed her affectionately. “I remember reading that in a poem when I was fourteen, thinking that if I’d ever find a girl so special, then…” he went silent, biting his lower lip.

“Then?” she prompted, her eyebrow raised high.

He shook his head. “I-, I never got that far. I guess my final conclusion was that I would either never find someone like that or never know if I actually did. Or that it was just a phrase every other overly romantic fourteen-year-old boy would dig. Nothing with actual substance.”

“Hmm,” she nodded thoughtfully. “What do you think now?”

“I think that I have never said it to anyone else. And it feels very, very good right now.”

“I love you,” she said and rested her head back on his shoulder. “And I want to tell you something, too.”

“Hmm?”

“We just got the green light for Streetcar in New York next year,” Gillian whispered, and now it was his turn to raise his head, watching her hand tracing tiny circles on his chest. She licked her lips before she continued to speak. “And, after that,” she inhaled deeply, “I really want to move in with you.”

#moving forward #au #my writing #fanfic #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny #gillovny rpf #txf rpf

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Hi! Any chance we’ll get an MF update soon? I just reread the last chapter and OMG so good! I’m dying to read what happens next. This story is getting me through these crazy times. Thank you for writing it!!! 🙏

Hey - with some luck and a quiet Saturday coming up, I hope that I can post the next chapter very soon, definitely before Christmas though :) … someone might even reach a big milestone in it :D

#moving forward #rpf #thexfiles rpf

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Moving Forward - Chapter 51

Hey you guys, it’s been a loooong time, I know, but MF is finally back! I missed writing terribly, and you guys were the best motivation to continue despite everything! I hope you find your way right back in and that it continues to bring you joy! Love you all, and especially @justholdinghandsok for forever being my wonderful beta no matter what I come up with :P!

(by the way... NSFW alert! :D) - AO3

“The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions.” - Nhat Hanh

Gillian took her phone from her oldest son, who immediately pulled his hand away, turned around and ushered his little brother out of the room, leaving her behind.

And now there she was, standing in her kitchen all by herself, heart pounding rapidly in her chest, cheeks warm and flushed.

It’s okay, she whispered to herself, trying to find a calm, centered place in her mind. It’s David. Your David. You’re fine.

Looking down at the screen, she deactivated the speakerphone and with one last deep inhale, brought the phone up to her ear.

“Hello, David,” she finally said and closed her eyes; apprehensively, but also impatiently awaiting his answer.

“Hey, Gilly,” was his quiet reply, his voice so soft and affectionate, and Gillian instantly felt relieved.

She wasn’t sure what exactly she’d been expecting, but his gentleness took her completely by surprise. He often used her nickname, “Gilly”, when she was feeling uncomfortable or when she was irritated by someone or something, and he’d lean down and whisper it softly into her ear. It was meant to be reassuring, and it never failed to be just that. Not even now.

Heat rose to her cheeks once again and her stomach fluttered furiously. A bashful laugh escaped her lips, and it didn’t take a couple of seconds before he started to chuckle as well. He was just as nervous as she was.

“I’m glad these two are so damn clever,” he conceded after a few moments, and she could hear the rustling of sheets in the background.

“And that they’re always able to read my mind,” she nodded absently, half her mouth crooked into a lopsided grin.

“They know you, hm,” David said, and it was more like a statement than a question.

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. I guess we’re either horrible actors or we have incredibly smart and sensitive kids.”

“Both, probably.”

David chuckled approvingly. “Probably, yeah.”

The seconds went by, and both of them stayed silent. It felt like she was finally able to breathe freely again, just because of the few words they’d exchanged. And she felt the built up stress and pressure from the entire last week slowly leaving her body.

“I miss you,” Gillian suddenly blurted out, soft and desperate, and immediately closed her eyes at her own stupidity. Damn, she thought. Why did she have to make herself even more vulnerable? And why was she so scared that he would reject her? Hurt her?

He chuckled softly. “I was just… thinking the same about you,” he stated tenderly, and then went quiet for a moment before continuing. “This bed feels... weird without you.”

A small smile formed on Gillian’s lips and she relaxed a bit. “Does it?” she asked and walked back towards the couch, sitting down on her previous spot.

“Yeah… there are… uh, crumbs in it. Eww.” She could hear him run his hand over the bed sheet. ”We might’ve had oatmeal cookies this morning.”

Gillian snorted amusedly and leaned back. “So it feels weird because I’m not there to play the no-food-in-bed-police?” she asked in feigned indignation.

“No, because it’s oatmeal cookie crumbs and not dark-chocolate-chip. And there’s also no good coffee to wake up to,” he pouted, and they both fell into soft laughter.

“I see. I must be greatly missed.”

Truth was, he would probably make a fool out of himself if he’d start to declare just how much she was missed. Especially at night.

More used to have her there than to have to sleep alone these days, he was waking up in the middle of the night because his hand was constantly, subconsciously searching for her warm, soft, feminine body. Most of the time, he’d end up spooning her; arm around her slim waist, hand under her shirt, fingers spread wide over her stomach. Chest flush against her back and face deeply buried into the soft silk of her hair - that was how he slept the best. But when she wasn’t there, his hand would reach into the void and then fall down onto the cold sheets beside him, and he’d wake up in confusion before remembering that they were an ocean apart again. It was his least favorite way to wake up.

He hummed affirmatively and looked at the empty spot beside him. “I miss you a lot.”

There was silence again. Oh how much he wished she was here, so he could wrap her in his arms. Wished there were no issues, no problems to figure out and talk through. No awkwardness.

“Um-” she started, pulling him out of his reverie. “About me flying back to Vancouver... am I right in assuming that you want to talk before we go back to work?”

“Uh,” David cleared his throat, taken aback by the abrupt change of subject. Couldn’t they talk about missing each other a little more? “If it’s possible, yeah.”

“Okay,” she stated in a flat tone, all the excitement and warmth from moments before suddenly gone from her voice.

Back to business, he thought. The sudden shift stung in his chest, but he was aware that she was just trying to protect herself from getting carried away. From letting emotions getting the better of her. This was Gillian after all.

“I’ll take the plane on Saturday then. Is that alright?”

“Sounds good, yeah.” He tried to keep his voice cool. “You want me to pick you up?”

“No need. I’ll just... meet you at the house.”

“Alright,” David sighed. He couldn’t believe that the sheer prospect of having a serious talk could still bring so much awkwardness to them. Especially after all the hurdles they’d encountered and overcome in all those years.

“Good. So, is there something I need to know? Everything okay?”

“Um, you mean with Eaden?”

“For example, yeah,” she said almost incredulously. Not that he left her completely in the unknown whenever she was away from the little one, and she didn’t expect hourly updates, but not being able to just check on her and see her whenever she felt like it was still so incredibly hard.

“No worries, everything is fine,” he said warmly.

“Okay. Then why are you still in bed?”

“Uh yeah well,” he stalled and cleared his throat. “I didn’t sleep well last night, so I’m just catching up on some while Eaden is out with West and some of her friends for a couple of hours,” David answered, deliberately not getting into detail on why he was still so tired.

The baby had been fussy all night; whimpering, crying and asking for Mama in her sleep. Based on that and her fire red cheeks, David was betting on a new set of teeth coming through. But since Eaden had woken up fairly happy and rested, as if nothing had happened, there was no need to alarm the mother who was thousand of miles away from her baby.

“Eaden is out with West and a couple of her friends? That sounds like she’s… twelve or something,” Gillian said, amusement swinging in her voice. He couldn’t see it, but he bet she had the cutest smirk on her lips right now.

“Yeah,” David agreed with a chuckle. “She’s being introduced to the lifestyle of today's sixteen years olds. They went to Point Dume’s beach and I already got a video of like... six teens dancing to some music and our little girl sitting in the middle of everything… under an umbrella, sunscreen painted on her face indian style, sippy cup in one and a pirates flag in the other hand. So I’m apologizing in advance for any damage done on our child’s innocent little mind.”

Gillian laughed out loud, a full belly laugh he hadn’t heard in way too many days, and it sounded like music to his ears.

“I have no doubt that she is having the time of her life right now. She’s becoming a little Californian Girl, huh? She looked quite tanned in the video you sent us.”

“Yeah, she got a little sun-kissed in the last three days. West says her hair is starting to look like she’d gotten it done by a professional with all the highlights in it.”

Gillian sighed. “I miss her so much, David. Just… give her a big kiss from me once she’s back home, will you?”

“Certainly. She’ll be excited to hear you’ll be back in a couple of days.”

Gillian smiled. “I can’t wait either.”

Three days later, Gillian was sitting on the plane back to Vancouver, having said her goodbyes to Oscar and Felix hours ago as she’d dropped them off at their father’s house. The colorful sheet of paper they’d crafted for her the night before was neatly sitting on top of her clothes in her carry-on bag. 32 days were to cross out until she’d see her boys again.

Gillian felt an almost childish frustration that she couldn’t have it all. Her kids, her partner and her work, all at the same place and at the same time. Just this once.

At the beginning, the prospect of filming this new season had been overwhelmingly exciting. The fact that it would be work, hard work, had somehow made it so far into the back of her mind that the intensity of the first days had taken her completely by surprise. As did the problems that had kept piling up faster than she thought was even possible.

Despite the careful and thoughtful preparation beforehand, their lives were way too complicated for everything to go smoothly.

To say that it was all becoming too much - juggling a life in Europe and another one in the US - and actually declaring defeat, was very tempting at the moment.

She already couldn’t even remember what the first episode was all about, and still hadn’t read past page two of the new script. Yet she owed it to Chris and the loyal fanbase to focus on this, and not much else, knowing how much people were looking forward to these six new episodes. And contradictory of what some people were thinking, it was important to her too.

Almost eleven hours after she boarded the completely packed British Airways flight to Vancouver, Gillian finally walked through the sliding doors after spending an hour getting through security, including an unnecessary argument with one very annoyed border officer about the lack of empty pages in her passport.

She was tired, but the better part of the exhaustion she felt was coming from what she knew was lying ahead of her.

A long, lonely way home and an uncomfortable talk which would stir up one heck of a lot of suppressed emotions and fears. Nothing she was really looking forward to. Never had.

Even from far away she was able to spot the long line of people queuing for a vacant cab, and she let her chin fall onto her chest with a heavy sigh on her way towards the end of the line. It would take her at least another fifteen minutes to even get into a car.

A family of six was waiting right before her. The youngest child, a boy she estimated to be around three years old, was pushing his stroller around, and Gillian gave him twenty seconds to ram that thing into her shins if his parents wouldn’t stop pestering their teenage daughter, who was typing on her phone, almost completely ignoring their pleas to take one of her younger siblings by the hand, who the mother held by his wrist, and who were desperately trying to escape. It was a mess Gillian was all too familiar with, and she chuckled inwardly at the beauty of it.

And then, as if someone had counted down the seconds, she felt a tire rolling over her right foot and the right edge of the stroller hit her knee. Hard.

The boy was pulled away from the handles by in an instant with a warning “Braydon!” by the father, and the teenager dutifully grabbed the little ones’ hands while the mother rolled the stroller back hastily, muttered her apologies and looked at Gillian in a mixture of embarrassment, annoyance and expectation. Expecting the single woman with the little carry-on bag to make some kind of a snarky remark, or at least roll her eyes at them, and Gillian could see the surprise on the woman’s face when she was given a soft smile.

“It’s alright, don’t worry,” she appeased with a shake of her head. The father was looking at her with a doubtful expression, but the mother was smiling that same relieved and thankful tired smile she was wearing herself when they were out in the wild as a family, and no one was behaving themselves.

There was that fleeting moment of sadness again, and the feeling that half her life was indeed missing made her throat tighten for a second before suddenly, she felt a hand coming to its rest on the small of her back, making her startle.

She turned abruptly, and looked into the familiar faces of her own little family smiling down at her.

“You said you didn’t want me to pick you up, but I wasn’t expecting you to completely ignore us,” David quipped with a sly grin on his lips, his hand not leaving her back even as Eaden plunged forward into her arms.

“Wha-, hey!” Gillian let out in surprise and caught the baby halfway before bringing her close to her chest. “Hey, honey. Wow, hi.”

“Hihi Mama,” Eaden babbled and squealed as Gillian peppered her little face in sweet kisses.

“Hi, baby! That is… one heck of a surprise! Wha-, where are you coming from?” she asked and looked around.

“Oh, we were standing right over there,” he extended his arm to his left and pointed at a column.

“Oh.” She must’ve walked right past them. “I guess I was too distracted by that horrendously long line here,” Gillian chuckled bashfully, and let her eyes wander over him while pressing little kisses on Eaden’s temple. He wore a decent 7-day scruff, and was dressed as if he was coming straight from a photoshoot; blue linen shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of dark brown shoes Gillian was sure she hadn’t seen before.

She was completely taken aback by his whole appearance, by how shockingly hot he looked, and was just staring at him dumbstruck for a couple of moments, as if she hadn’t seen him in weeks.

“Yeah well,” David nodded and with a quick glance to both sides, gently lead her out of line by her elbow. “If you want, there’s a car with your name on waiting outside to bring you home.”

He was grinning now, that soft boyish grin that made her knees buckle every single time she saw it on his lips, knowing that this particular smile was only reserved for her.

“Uh yeah, I’d really like that,” she stuttered and swallowed, adjusting Eaden’s weight to one side of her hip before running a hand through her own, unruly hair. Could she smell herself or was she just imagining it? She couldn’t believe that she was feeling so self-conscious all of a sudden.

Sensing her discomfort, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the shell of her ear, briefly stroking his daughter's head, whose face was now buried into Gillian’s neck.

Gillian’s cheeks flushed in an instant, and she noticed the other mother smiling at her from the corner of her eye.

“You look gorgeous. Come on, let’s go home,” David said and took her hand on their way to the parking garage.

Their way home was mostly silent. When they’d reached the car, Eadens little hand had already found its way into Gillian’s blouse and had started to tuck at her bra impatiently. While there had been the small hope that one week would be enough at her age to wean herself for good, Gillian felt nothing but relieved that she’d pumped at home when Eaden looked up at her with these big, trusting blue eyes and played with the loose strands of her hair while nursing in the backseat of the car. She was still a little baby needing her mother.

When they were finished, Gillian took a seat beside Eaden, gently caressing her daughter's little face while the baby fought hard to stay awake, not yet ready to take her eyes off her mother.  

The prospect of having to have that talk was hanging over them like a dark cloud, making it hard to concentrate even on the small talk they were trying to hold up.

How’s Oscar doing? Did Eaden eat well? Did she say a new word? When will West and Miller come to Vancouver? Have you read the new script yet? It’s supposed to be funny...

By the time they reached the house, Eaden was asleep, and the sun was starting to set.

Gillian took her time to tuck the baby into the crib - changed and put a fresh pair of pyjamas on her, rocked her, indulging her child’s weight in her arms and the sweet baby scent,  and humming a couple of lullabies before finally laying her down.

Vancouver was different from what she was used from it. No rain in weeks, hot days and mild nights. She wasn’t surprised to find David outside by the illuminated pool, clad in black boxer shorts and the shirt he was wearing earlier, feet dangling in the water. His back was to her, but as Gillian came closer, she could see the smoke of a cigarette rising above him. A bottle of beer was standing beside him at the poolside. It was silent except for the waves of the ocean crashing softly against the shore nearby.

“Need something to loosen up a little?” he asked and held out the cigarette, not looking at her as she put the baby monitor on the ground and pulled her dark blue skirt a little higher before sitting down beside him. He turned his head when she didn’t reach for the smoke.

She was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“Why would I need something to loosen up?”

“Aren’t you as… tense as I am?”

“Why are you tense?”

He scoffed incredulously and took a last drag before stubbing it out behind him. A sweet scent immediately filled her nose, and she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as she let her feet slip into the water. It was cool and felt incredible on her swollen feet.

“What did you mean by ‘you’re scaring me, David’? What exactly does that mean?” he asked, referring to a text message she’d sent him a couple of days ago, and took a swig out of his beer bottle. She shook her head when he offered it to her, but immediately regretted it. The small talk had come to an end faster than she’d expected.

Gillian shrugged her shoulders and stared down at her feet, absently playing with the thin strap of her white tank-top. “I don’t know.”

“Of course you do.”

“Why are you pretending that you don’t know exactly what it means?”

“I don’t. I just want to know… what did I do to make you question my feelings for you?”

“You didn’t do anything to make me doubt your feelings. If there’s one thing you’ve always made sure of, it’s that I know you love me.”

“Then what is it? The logistics? Bad sex?”

She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. “Don’t be crude.”

“We don’t have bad sex?”

She shot him a glance and pursed her lips. “Maybe I just wondered if you still want this relationship. If it’s still something that makes you happy.”

“Jesus,” David huffed and brought the bottle back to his lips. “Seriously, Gillian. Sometimes I have trouble figuring out if this is just you being overly dramatic or insecure. I mean, it doesn’t matter in the end, but damn... something has to change. You can’t keep running away from me when things get complicated.”

“I know.”

“Do you? I’m not so sure about that, to be honest.”

“It’s not as easy as you think, you know,” she raised her voice in defense, eyebrows now furrowed tightly.

“I know it isn’t. But Gillian, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I gave you a lot of opportunities to calm down and talk to me even after you accused me of wanting to make you feel even worse than you already did. And sometime between that and the point you left for London and wouldn’t call for days, I expected you to… I can’t say it any differently, I’m sorry… but I expected you to get back to your senses, to be honest. Because that was one fucked up stunt you pulled there.”

“Yeah, I realize that,” she said remorsefully. “And I’m so scared to fuck this up and lose you,” she said quietly, her voice a mixture of desperation and resignation. “Again.”

He licked over his lips and swallowed before looking at her leg and putting his hand on her knee. He gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Gill-”

“This is what happens all the time, right? Me fucking things up. It’s that… damned self-destructiveness of mine. Making everyone’s lives more complicated and putting a strain on my relationships because… yeah, why? I don’t even know myself! Because of my ego? My anxiety? Because of not having enough faith in things?”

David shook his head slowly and raised his left leg out of the water to put it behind her. He was facing her now, and she also shifted so they could look at one another. His hand came to a rest on her upper thigh. “I can’t tell you what it is, Gillian. But you need to figure it out, or find someone to help you figure it out. Of course I’m hurt and confused. But it’s-” he took a deep breath, “It’s hard to see that the person you love tends to fight alone.”

“I know,” she murmured. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes and she let out a shaky breath.

“And it’s you who suffers the most in the end.”

Gillian nodded thoughtfully, averting her gaze, and he watched her silently for a moment before he spoke again. “I learned that I don’t need a lot to be happy, but you-” he reached up and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, never breaking eye-contact, literally forcing her to keep her eyes on him. “You are the most essential part to my happiness. I don’t want to imagine my world without the kids, but you are my foundation; my base. You’ve been for over twenty years. I know it’s hard; but we knew it would be that way when you got pregnant. And we agreed to be there for each other. That’s what we wanted. And I am here.”

“Yes, you’re here,” she leaned into his touch, and a single tear escaped her eye. He was the sweetest man, the most reliable partner, and it angered her that she was this emotional, unstable mess. She had no reason to cry but out of gratitude, yet she cried out of fear. Fear that she wouldn’t be able to be the woman she needed to be to make this relationship work. To make a marriage work.

As if he was able to read her thoughts, he took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, peppering them with soft kisses before saying, “Separation hasn’t even crossed my mind, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered, sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled.

“We will figure it out together, but you need to let people help you, babe.” His arms came around her shoulder and waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Burying her nose into his soft shirt, she inhaled the masculine, rich scent of his as if it had been years she’d smelled it last.

“We’ve got this,” he kissed the top of her head and inhaled deeply. “Even with the bad sex and all,” he joked, and her whole body was shaking as she let out a muffled laugh against his shirt.

Her fingers found their way under his shirt, and ever so lightly, she started to run her fingers over the smooth skin of his back. He jolted under her touch, and she giggled quietly at his ticklishness while moving her flat hands up higher, pressing him closer against her. He was warm and soft, and she had craved touching him so badly in the last couple of days when she was laying in bed, alone.

His hands moved from her back to her arms and up to her face, cradling her cheek in his palms and gently lifting her head from his chest. He was wearing that soft, dreamy smile of his - the one that was capable of melting thousands of hearts.

It faded only for the briefest of seconds before he was there, kissing her, slowly and tentatively.

Her belly tingled fiercely, and she let out a soft whimper when she felt his tongue boldly seeking entrance and grazing over hers. His fingertips started to do these wonderful things on the sensitive skin of her throat and down to her neck - circling and tugging, again and again as their kiss intensified rapidly. Hungry lips clinging to one another, only letting go to change the angle, to explore again what had been explored so many times before, but would never get old.

It had always been a thin line between fighting, reconciliation and sex for them. They were good in fighting fiercely, and even better at sex. The part in between had always been a small one, but they’d become better at it over time while the fighting had gotten more civilised, and the sex mind blowing. It had taken Gillian a long time to understand this logic and that it was a part of growing up and finally being in a healthy relationship rather than a toxic one.

His hands had travelled down to her hips and under her top when she realized that her own were busy unbuttoning his shirt, as if they had a mind of their own. It fell from his shoulders just seconds later, and her lips were drawn to the sun-kissed skin of his chest like magnet to metal. He tasted rich and salty, and she could feel goosebumps rising underneath her mouth as she kissed and nipped her way up to his neck. The vibration of his low growl tickled her lips, and she smiled against his skin as he bunched up the hem of her top underneath her arms, gently urging her to raise them over her head.

Her hips jerked forward when his lips closed around her engorged nipple. Jolts of pleasure were running straight from her tit down to her already throbbing clit. How on earth his kisses alone were capable of doing that to her, she still didn’t know.

He held firmly onto her waist, keeping her still while she was starting to squirm under his touch. All her senses were on high alert, and the sounds his mouth made as he sucked, licked and nibbled on her were so unbelievably arousing, she wanted nothing more than for him to move down, where she was waiting for him, all slick and swollen.

He suddenly hummed, as if she’d said something, and pulled her over and onto his lap in one swift motion. Her skirt wasn’t tight or uncomfortable for either of them, but he seemed to want to get rid of it nonetheless, and helped her into a standing position.

As she stood up, he put his arms around her legs, stroking up and down their length while smiling up at her. His eyes were dark with lust, lips moist and pink and expression smug as fuck. She couldn’t possibly love him more.

She shimmied out of her airy skirt and kicked it aside, leaving on a tiny black string that caught his attention immediately.

He licked his lips and swallowed. Oh this woman with her milky white, velvet thighs. He could live the rest of his life with his head in between their softness while gently, or not so gently, squeezing their outer sides with his hands. His hands always needed to be occupied.

As did hers, apparently.  

She ran her fingers slowly between the valley of her firm tits down to her navel, circling it languidly before wandering down further, tracing the hem of her panties with her fingertips, knowing exactly what touching herself did to him.

He clenched his jaw when her hand disappeared beneath the soft fabric and his breath quickened, nostrils flaring as he inhaled the scent of her need. He was fully concentrated on her, and the thin material didn’t leave much to the imagination so that he could see exactly what she was doing with her tiny hand on her perfect little pussy.

She gasped as her fingers came in contact with her clit, and the other hand shot out to steady herself on his shoulder. He grinned and turned his head to the side to kiss her wrist, eyes never leaving her flushed face. He couldn’t begin to explain how gorgeous she looked with her lips slightly apart, chest rising and falling rapidly as she increased the speed of her hand, knees starting to wobble.

“Oh god,” she gasped, digging her nails into his flesh. “I can’t-”

“Yeah,” he said, knowing that she wasn’t able to stand up much longer, and leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto her navel while she slowly removed her hand from between her legs.

“You smell delicious,” he whispered and took her hand by the wrist, looking up at her as he slowly closed his lips around two slick fingers. “Hmm,” he hummed and released them with a loud plop. “You taste like heaven. So sweet.”

“Sweet?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, hooking his index fingers under the thin straps of her panties, slowly pulling them down.

Her hand reached back down right away, tentatively at first, but then one finger disappeared wholly inside, and she started to buck into her own hand.

“Jesus, babe. You’re so fucking hot.” His own hand slid into his shorts, finding his dick thick and ready, pulsating and waiting desperately for attention. He started with slow, languid strokes, barely any pressure, just a little something to take off the edge. He reached up and palmed her right breast, squeezing it firmly before starting to roll her nipple between his thumb and index finger.

Her eyes caught sight of his busy hand and she whimpered before it grew into a proper moan as her clit hit this wonderful spot on her palm that almost made her tumble over the edge for a second. She slumped forward against his body, his face now against her belly, surprising her by biting and licking at her soft flesh hungrily. She let him for a bit, ran her fingers through his hair, watching him leaving wet spots and red marks on her stomach.

Suddenly, she pulled him away from her. Her patience was gone. No matter how good it felt, she needed him now, and let him know by pushing at his chest so that he landed back on his elbows. He chuckled in delight and raised his hips as her fingers tucked at his shorts, not wasting any time anymore, finally freeing him.

The twitch of his cock as Gillian’s eyes fell on it didn’t go unnoticed, and she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled one of the slyest smiles he’d ever seen. It made him harden even a little more.

He welcomed her in his lap by putting his arms around her slim waist and pulling her close, kissing her.

This felt so, so right. All of it - her warm body flush against his, his pulsating dick nestled in her hot slit, tongues playing their exciting game. This woman was his undoing in the best ways possible.

David yelped in surprise as he suddenly found himself in her hand. Her grip was much firmer than his own, of course. She knew him better than he knew himself after all. She stroked him with purpose, slowing only to circle the tip of his penis with her thumb before squeezing it in her palm and starting to rub only the shaft, and his efforts to stay still died with an involuntary buck into her hand.

When the head of his cock dipped into her wetness, both of them gasped and quickly looked at one another before falling into soft laughter.

“I love the fuck out of you, you have no idea,” he said genuinely as she sank down onto him; soft, tight walls suddenly surrounding him wholly.

“Hmm,” Gillian raised her right eyebrow, smiling smugly at him. “I fucking love your cock,” she said, starting to rotate her hips.

“You fucking love my cock or you love fucking my cock?”

“Where’s the difference? I miss it when it’s not in me,” she slurred and closed her eyes, concentrating on the sensation of her slow movements.

David grinned and squeezed her thighs. “I can assure you that it misses you too.”

“Ohhh,” she moaned and squeezed her muscles around him.

“Yeah…” he breathed, holding onto her hips as her arms came around his neck and breasts were shoved into his face.

Her movements were becoming frantic as the hot puffs of air coming out of her mouth were wettening his forehead. She was completely uninhibited now, grinding her clit against his pelvis, moaning and whimpering loudly as her release came closer and closer.

“Do you ever miss my pussy?” she shifted in his lap and looked at him. Her movements had come to a stop, only her inner muscles were working, milking him with every squeeze.

“Hell yeah,” David rasped and his balls tightened dangerously. “Every day, every hour, every minute-” he groaned as she dropped her head into the crease of his neck and bit his throat, “Every second… I cannot kiss it, lick it, fuck it... I miss it.”

“Then fuck it now,” she said and lifted her head off his shoulder. “Fuck me, David.”

“Jesus Christ,” he growled and wrapped his arm around her waist.

She’d expected him to turn them both around and settle back in between her legs, but instead, he lifted her to the side so that she ended up sitting on her knees beside him. He came up behind her and pushed her forward so he wouldn’t fall into the pool before bending over her and licking along the line of her spine.

Her body shivered under him. Every nerve ending from her toes up to her head felt like it was on fire, and everything was tingling.

She almost screamed out loud when he entered her from behind, slamming his his hips against her ass while at the same time, biting into the side of her neck.

Her arms were suddenly so weak that she had to brace herself on her elbows, and he placed a last couple of kisses on her shoulder blade before thrusting into her hard and fast.

His fingers were almost painfully digging into her sides, and somewhere in the back of her mind Gillian realized that she would be a sore, walking bruise tomorrow. They both would.

His arm snuck around her middle and suddenly, his fingers were on her swollen clit, pressing, rubbing and pinching and fuck, it felt so good. So unbelievably good.

“Fuck you’re so tight. Feels so good,” he whispered into her neck.

He was everywhere, his large body surrounding hers completely. Even after all these years she couldn’t believe that they were such a good match, with him being so big and her being so tiny. But nothing had ever been more perfect than this.

“David,” she whimpered as his fingers became quicker and her walls began to flutter around him. It was only a matter of seconds before, before… she moaned, and her legs started to shake violently, almost giving up on her if his grip hadn’t been so strong.

“You’re coming, babe,” he grunted, giving her a few quick, hard thrusts and removing his fingers from her clit to press them into her lower belly right above her mons.

“Fu-huck!” she cried out loud as her orgasm hit her forcefully, and the last thing she remembered was the feeling of his hot semen spilling into her before everything went black.

His face was right above hers when she came back to herself. Her heart was still beating rapidly in her chest, but she was laying on her back now.

“Did I just faint during orgasm?” she asked confused, but relaxed immediately when he grinned at her.

“No, not really. You kept talking to me, even if it was just “O's” and “I’s”. But your muscles gave out,” he said and lay down beside her, cradling her close against his chest.

“What did you do with your hand?”

He grinned. “You liked it?”

“It almost killed me!”

“Nah, I doubt that,” he whispered and nuzzled his nose against hers. “Glad to see it works for you, though.”

“Fuck, David. My legs are still shaking.”

“Yep, they are. Are you okay?” he asked softly, his genuine concern making her smile.  

Gillian nodded and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his warm hands slowly roaming over her back. “Yes. But I have to tell you” she murmured and met his gaze again. She cupped his chin between her fingers and drew him closer to her face before whispering, “If we ever get a divorce, it’s definitely because of the bad sex.”

Both of them were chuckling quietly as she captured his lips for a soft, passionate kiss.

#moving forward #my writing #gillovny #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny rpf #alternate universe #smut #love #xfiles rpf

[sembell]

Birthday Parents (3/4)

A series of drabbles based on the request: Can you write something for Gillian’s and David’s birthday with Eaden and her siblings, please? Maybe in the Vancouver house. 

Part I - Part II

“Wraahh!” Eaden screamed as she came running towards them, arms propelling wildly through the air, carelessly crossing the paths of the people who were trying to work.

It was the first day of filming, and the little three year old whirlwind was already the most famous person on set. Who would have guessed?!

As she came closer, Gillian noticed that she was wearing a pair of big, grey hands with long fingers over the whole length of her forearms - it had not taken her long to find the alien stuff.

“Hey, watch out! Eaden!” Gillian called out, watching Eaden taking a slight turn to prevent colliding with someone in the last possible moment before continuing to boisterously make her way towards her mother.

The impact was hard, but Gillian was used to little bodies storming into hers, so she’d braced herself just in time as Eaden ran into her headfirst. Annabeth, who was standing beside her, chuckled at the sight of them.

“Eaden, you need to be careful! There are people walking around you don’t want to hurt and equipment standing around you don’t want to destroy, okay? God knows I’ve already destroyed enough expensive equipment for all of us,” she said and threaded her fingers through Eaden’s soft, blonde hair.

“I’m not Eaden, Mommy! I’m a scary alien!” Eaden said pointedly, raised her arms up high and attempted to make a frightening face. “Wraahh!”

“Wow honey, you look very scary! But where did you get those? Did you ask before taking them?”

“Yes, I did! A nice lady put them on me after I asked!”

“Good girl! Hey, do you remember Annabeth here?” Gillian asked and put her hand on Annabeth’s upper arm.

“Hey, Eaden! It’s nice to see you again,” she said and kneeled down to get on Eaden’s eye-level.

The little girl shook her head no and stepped closer to Gillian.

“Yeah,” Annabeth nodded, “you were very little the last time we saw each other! You just started to walk!”

“Really?” Eaden looked up to Gillian.

“Yes, you were just a baby back then.”

“And now I’m a big girl!” Eaden beamed, and Annabeth stood up again.

“She is sugar, Gillian! So cute,” she said warmly and smiled down at Eaden, who was also grinning up at her, alien arms tightly wrapped around Gillian’s upper thigh.

“I’m out of sugar, Mommy!”

“You’re out of sugar?” Both Gillian and Annabeth chuckled heartily before Gillian picked her daughter up and kissed her cheek. “Will the sugar queen even be able to survive without her beloved sugar?”

Eaden giggled, knowing her mother well enough to realize that she was teasing her, and rested her head on her shoulder.

“What about my little extraterrestrial sugar queen, huh?” David suddenly piped in from behind and stepped beside them, still clad in the dirty clothes that Mulder wore by the end of the last season, holding a paper plate with a big piece of cake on it.

Eaden’s eyes went wide. “Is that a cake, Daddy?”

“It is! It’s my birthday cake that I got from Chris! Doesn’t it look yummy?” he asked and put a spoonful into his mouth, closing his eyes in pleasure.

“Wow!” Gillian marveled and looked greedily at his plate. “I wonder if I will get one, too.”

“I bet you will,” David grinned. “It’s your birthday tomorrow. And if not, you still have what’s even better than birthday cake,” he winked and put his arm around her waist as her face turned two shades redder.

“See, Mommy! I’m not out of sugar for a loooong time!” Eaden exclaimed excitedly, leaned forward, closed her eyes and opened her mouth wide, waiting for David to finally share his colorful birthday cake with her.

#moving forward #gillovny #gillovny trash #gillovny rpf #rpf #thexfiles rpf #xfiles rpf #my writing #fluff #gillian and davids birthdays #eaden #drabble #no beta

[sembell]

Birthday Parents (4/4)

A series of drabbles based on the request: Can you write something for Gillian’s and David’s birthday with Eaden and her siblings, please? Maybe in the Vancouver house.

This is the last part of the installment. Thank you all so much for your nice words, and I really hope you enjoyed these little drabbles as much as I loved writing them. I’m so happy we can enjoy this madness together :)

Part I - Part II - Part III

Gillian’s 49th birthday was the best day in a very long time, and the first birthday Eaden would remember for the rest of her life.

Despite having done their best to hide their struggles from their little daughter, the last couple of months had been difficult in many ways, and had not failed to leave their marks on all of them, but especially on Eaden.

There had been days and nights Eaden had found her mother crying in bed or locked in the bathroom for no apparent reason other than being... incredibly sad. Weeks in which she’d slept alone in bed with her father, because Mommy was miles and miles away in London. It was safe to say that Eaden had spent the majority of the year with just one of them than with both together, and in the end, it had affected her more than David and Gillian had ever wanted.

It was only by the end of July that there finally, finally seemed to be a light at the end of the horizon again. Being only three years old, she couldn’t put it into big words, but after her parents had left her at her grandmothers house for a week before travelling to Vancouver, she was able to feel it again - the joy and happiness between them, the lightness... and a lot a lot a lot of love. Maybe it was exactly just that, and no big words were needed after all.

Gillian’s birthday was a day that started early in the morning, with Eaden sneaking into her parents’ bedroom on tiptoes way before dawn, only to find them already awake, giggling and kissing underneath the covers. Surprised by their unexpected little visitor, it took them a visit to the bathroom, a change into pyjamas, and for David a quick look at his phone to finally come back to bed and spend the next two hours cuddling and snoozing together.

Well equipped with her green little backpack, Eaden arrived on set with her nanny by noon to a red-haired Gillian and a birthday party with dozens of people celebrating both David and Gillian. A dark chocolate and a butternut cake in the shape of a guitar and lots and lots of frosting, so delicious you just needed to try both, had to be kept save from a very greedy Brick lingering around.

Dinner took place later that evening at a nice, cozy little restaurant. Eaden, always the eager little waitress, not only served Gillian’s gifts on a tray, but, with the help of Piper, also the sweetest, most intense birthday speech a three year old could possibly deliver. But nothing could’ve prepared Gillian for the words that hit her so deeply she wasn’t able to breathe for a couple of moments. Words that she would carry with her for the rest of her life.

“Mommy, you are the very most kind person I know, and you are so bwave. Piper and Daddy and me hope your pwesents make you really, really happy!”

And boy did they make her happy, because they reminded her that she was the luckiest woman on earth for having these wonderful, thoughtful human beings in her life who were loving her way farther than to the moon and back.  

Later that night, David and Gillian sat at Eaden’s bedside, caressing her face, holding her hands, and listening to her sleepy voice telling them about her exciting, wonderful day, and watching her little lips curl up into a content smile as they told her how loved she was.

They were still sitting with her when she’d already fallen asleep, both of them unable to take their eyes off their sweet little girl, whose happiness meant the world to them.

There had been times in the last couple of months when it had felt like she was the only reason they could think of that was worth fighting for. But now, as they were sitting there in silence with their fingers entwined, they knew in their hearts that there were so many more.

#moving forward #spoiler for the main story #drabble #no beta #my writing #gillovny #gillovny rpf #rpf #thexfiles rpf #xfiles rpf #gillovny trash #gillian and davids birthdays #eaden #alternate universe #fluff #angst

[sembell]

Birthday Parents (2/4)

A series of drabbles based on the request: Can you write something for Gillian’s and David’s birthday with Eaden and her siblings, please? Maybe in the Vancouver house.

It was long after midnight, almost three hours into his 57th birthday, when David tentatively knocked on Piper’s bedroom door and waited for her reply before slowly pushing it open.

The only light in the room came from the lamp on the nightstand, which was turned around so it wouldn’t illuminate the bed, and bother the sleep of the little three year old who was sprawled out on it.

Her older sister was lying beside her over the covers with her legs crossed and a book on her lap. She was smiling tiredly at him, and he reciprocated it with an apologetic one. From what she’d texted him, and knowing his little daughter, it must’ve been one hell of an evening for Gillian’s eldest daughter.

“Hey,” David whispered and came closer.

Around midnight, Gillian had received a message letting them know that Eaden had woken up from a nightmare and was standing in front of their bedroom, crying heartbreakingly. Because of their birthday presents, apparently. During recess, Gillian had called Piper, who was still busy soothing a very upset Eaden, who’d apparently dreamed that she’d broken her promise by telling Mommy what Daddy had gotten her for her birthday. But what was really upsetting her was her thinking that Gillian didn’t have anything for David’s birthday. Which would obviously make Daddy very, very sad.

Oh this little girl with her big heart and the over-active, beautiful mind - she was keeping them all on their toes, that was for sure.

“Hey, David,” Piper replied and put her book aside. “How was the evening? Did you have a good time after all?” she asked quietly.

“It was fantastic. I just hope she didn’t give you that much of a hard time, even though I know she did.”

Piper chuckled and slowly pulled the covers from Eaden’s tiny form. She was lying on her back, sucking on her thumb while holding Ruben, the green bunny, close to her chest.

“It was okay. She cried a little more after we talked on the phone, but basically fell asleep once I lay her down. She just didn’t want to be alone. She’s out for a good two hours, though. I think you’re safe.”

“Okay, thank you very much, Piper.”

“I’m sorry the night ended like this. Bet you had a different outcome in mind,” she said with a rueful smile as David gently lifted Eaden off the bed.

“It wouldn’t be a proper date-night without such an incident, would it?” he quipped and kissed Eaden’s temple as her head came to a rest on his shoulder

“I guess not, no.”

“Good night, P. Sleep well,” he said and was about to turn around when she suddenly called out for him to wait and got up.

“Happy birthday, David.” She held out her arms and as he opened one of his’, embraced him and Eaden in a bear hug. “I hope it’s a good one! I love you,” she whispered against his chest and squeezed his back.

“Thank you, sweetie. I couldn’t have imagined a better start into my 57th year of life than being with you guys.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Good night,” Piper said and released him. “And don’t sleep in too long, there might be a special breakfast waiting for you tomorrow morning,” she winked and grinned up at him.

The times when Eaden didn’t wake up when putting her to bed were long gone, so David wasn’t surprised when a pair of crystal blue eyes were looking up at him when he pulled her colorful blanket up and tucked it under her arms, just the way she liked it.

“Hey, little slugger. How are you doing?” he asked softly and set down beside her.

“Good,” Eaden said sleepily and rubbed her eyes. “Where have you been, Daddy?”

“Mommy and I went out together for my birthday. Do you remember?” he asked and put the bunny right beside her on the cushion. 

“Did you get a pwesent from Mommy?” she asked, and suddenly, there was that familiar sparkle of curiosity in her eyes he knew all too well. He smiled.

“I did get a present from her, yes! She took me out to dinner to a very, very nice restaurant and surprised me with concert tickets,” he said quietly, stroking over her soft, blonde hair as she relaxed back into her pillow. “So we had a wonderful evening listening to some great music.”

“Did you dance?”

“Yes, we danced, honey.”

“Did you give her a kiss?”

“Yes, I promise I gave her a lot of kisses to show her how grateful I was for that wonderful present. Were you scared Mommy didn’t get me one?” he asked cautiously, not wanting to upset her again, but to make sure she was fine again. He felt guilty, very much so, for not realizing how much the whole thing had bothered her that she ended up being so overwhelmed by her emotions.

“No,” she stated, shaking her head confidently, and David had to bite on his bottom lip to hold back a laugh. “Mommy loves you, Daddy. I know that.”

“Oh?” he raised his eyebrow as in surprise.

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly, and David could tell that her eyes grew heavier by the second. “I’m sleepy now. We can talk tomorrow,” she murmured, turned to the side and buried her face into her bunny’s belly.

"Alright, I’m looking forward to it. Good night, sweetheart,” he said and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

Sometimes, David wondered what they had done right to deserve this little girl, but when in the last seconds of consciousness she whispered, “Happy birthday, Daddy and Mommy,” before she finally drifting off to sleep, he said a silent thank you to whoever, or whatever, had blessed them beyond measure.

#moving forward #drabble #my writing #no beta #alternate universe #gillovny trash #gillovny rpf #rpf #thexfiles rpf #xfiles rpf #gillian and davids birthdays #i feel super sappy i'm sorry #sappy #gillovny

[sembell]

Moving Forward - Chapter 50

This isn't an easy time for Gillian and David, and I hope you guys like to see how they're trying to navigate through their problems in the brand new chapter :)

Thank you so much for your patience and ongoing support, you guys! I know it took me awhile again... and it’s just because of @becksndot5 , @justholdinghandsok and @sunshinetoday - my biggest motivators and ass-kickers - that I can post Chapter 50 today (can you believe it - Chapter 50!!!!)

I hope you enjoy it! Love you all <3

#moving forward #my writing #rpf #thexfiles rpf #fanfic #gillovny #gillovny trash #tension

[sembell]

Moving Forward - Chapter 49

Happy Easter my dear friends! Whether you celebrate Easter, I hope you all had a few wonderful and relaxing days! I’m happy you guys liked the little drabbles I did for Eaden’s third birthday - they were a lot of fun to write.

But now to more important matters - I have a surprise for you :D Actually, @allyinthekeyofx and I have one for you, because Ally made a dream of mine come true. And I just know you guys will love it as much as I do! Just keep your eyes open :D

Thank you my dear @justholdinghandsok for the beta again - what would I do without you?!

So, without further ado - here is Chapter 49:

Maturity is achieved when a person accepts life as full of tension. - Joshua L. Liebman

As a highly independent person who liked to stay in control, and one who was prone to be stubborn, it was the worst thing that, once your emotions had gotten the best of you and you basically overreacted to the point of crying, there was nothing more needed than someone else coming over and putting you out of your misery.

How pathetic, Gillian thought. And so hard to accept that sometimes, when emotions and hormones were running high, you needed another person to provide some of the confidence and stability you weren’t able to muster yourself.

While this feeling was so familiar to her, had accompanied her for the major part of her life, Gillian despised it, and would probably never make peace with it. The loss of control, no matter how small and insignificant it might’ve seemed to others, was unbearable and, for her, almost entirely intolerable.

It almost felt like falling into a million little pieces, losing one by one on her way through life. The thought that other people could somehow see all those lost pieces and judge her for the sheer amount was terrifying, even though Gillian knew that this was one of the most ridiculous illusions she had. Yet it was one that stuck in her mind for decades now. One she wasn’t able to get rid of.

No one had come after her when the sobs slowly started to subside. Sitting on that hard, closed toilet lit, her butt was beginning to hurt, and she needed to check if there was anything she could do about that smudged mascara or if her makeup was completely ruined by now. Which would mean she had to let her stylist re-do everything. How fucking embarrassing.

With a deep, hitched inhale, she reached out and ripped off another couple of sheets of toilet paper and blew her nose.

She needed to go back. They were probably ready to shoot the next scene. She just had to pull herself together one last time and get it over with for the sake of her son, who was needing her by his side. Nothing else mattered in this moment.

Getting up, she opened the lit and flushed the crumpled tissues down the toilet before turning around to unlock the door and stepped out.

And then she saw him, leaning against one of the sinks with his arms crossed in front of his chest and gaze fixated on his shoes. His expression was thoughtful and serious, his teeth were gritted tight enough that his jaw muscles flexed rhythmically.

He must’ve sneaked in at some point, and had waited patiently for her to regain some control on her own without ever leaving her completely alone.

He was always there in case she fell apart, but giving her the privacy and time she needed. There was no smothering and no pressure. David was like a silent rock. Always there, but never imposing. She could always rely on David, even when she’d been a total bitch to him.

But as much as she wanted to to go to him, and as desperately as she was yearning for his arms around her, she just couldn’t move. She was frozen in place and unable to say a word. It felt like she’d suddenly lost the ability to speak. Neither her brain nor her mouth seemed to know what to do.

She should apologize. She should explain herself. Do something to let him know she didn’t mean what she had said. But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t do it.

In her mind, she was desperately begging him to be the first to break the silence. To be the stronger one and tell her he forgave her, and that everything would be okay. She hoped he knew how grateful she was that he was there, and that he understood why she couldn’t say it.

Time was standing still as they stood there facing each other, and waiting for the other to make the first move. To say something, anything at all. Even the slightest attempt to move towards one another or a glance would be enough to break the spell, to bring her some relief.

But it didn’t happen.

Instead, his shoes made a loud, squeaky noise on the tiled floor as he turned around and, before she realized what was happening, pushed the door open and walked out of the restroom. Leaving her alone.

Once Chris and Glen had gotten wind of the ‘little incident’ with Gillian, as it was making its round, it seemed like that, all of a sudden, they had everything they needed from her for the second episode and they could give her the green light to go home to London.

David didn’t see her around for quite some time, but now spotted her, almost two hours later, taking a picture of Piper, who was quite bashfully holding a tray in front of her, apparently showing her proud mother some of the props she had made for the episode.

Gillian wasn’t wearing her wig anymore, but was now clad in a blue summer dress and her face was already scrubbed free from the heavy makeup she had to wear for the part. She looked like she was ready to leave any minute now.

He just wondered if they’d get a chance to talk before she left for over a week.

When he’d left her in that restroom, it hadn’t been because he’d intended to hurt or punish her. He was hurt, yes. And also sad. But he wasn’t particularly angry. It wasn’t that hard for him to understand what she was going through. She was a mother, and, unlike other men he knew, David was convinced that, even if there was an active, devoted father around, she was the most important person in most kids lives. And if a kid was sick, there was nothing that he needed more than his mother. And a mother didn’t want anything more than be by her child’s side to love and care for him.

That it had to be hard to leave another one in order to be with the sick child was also very understandable. Mother’s guilt was a huge topic in Gillian’s life ever since Piper had been born. Finding a balance between work and motherhood had always been a struggle for her. And with the increasing number of children and them becoming somewhat of a patchwork family, it hadn’t gotten any easier over the years. It was okay when everything was working out according to plan. But the reality was that it rarely did. And he bowed his head to everyone who was able to deal with these things in an organised, mature way. Because they surely hadn’t figured out how to do that by now.

And yet… he had enough of hearing the same things from her over and over again. He thought of himself as a supportive, patient partner. But his patience wasn’t endless, and Gillian knew her ways to reach his limits.

He would do everything for her. Absolutely everything. The problem was that she had always been too proud and at the same time too insecure to accept his help. Or anyone’s, for that matter.

Instead, she tended to use it against people. Accused them of having ulterior motives, wanting to threat her and to make her look weak and incompetent.

And that wasn’t something he would ever accept, especially not from her.

He was her partner. Her confidant. They were family.

And the one thing he really wished her to be was accepting of his support and unconditional love and to allow herself to rely on him.

He would do do anything in his power to stop all those self-doubts and the insane pressure she put on her own shoulders from ruling their lives and their relationship. And the only way he knew how to make her understand that was by giving her the opportunity to find out herself.

Which was exactly why he’d walked out of this restroom earlier.

He’d desperately wanted to hug her. Wanted to tell her that everything would be alright. That of course she could take Eaden with her, if that was what she wanted.

But he didn’t do any of those things. Despite the way she’d been looking at him, with all the confusion, desperation and sadness in her watery blue eyes, he’d made a decision he wasn’t entirely sure had been the right one.

“David!” someone suddenly called him, pulling him out of his reverie. His gaze fixated back on Piper and Gillian, and he noticed that her oldest was looking at him expectantly, neck craned and eyebrows raised high. She definitely wanted him to come over.

Gillian on the other hand seemed to avoid looking at him while he approached them, busying herself with straightening Eaden’s dress and unruly hair.

“What’s up?” he asked as blithely as possible and put his hand demonstratively on the small of Gillian’s back.

“You’re going to pull these off your shoes later, don’t they look super gross?” Piper chuckled, proudly looking down at the armada of gooey band-aids neatly lined up on a cardboard. They were in fact very, very gross.

David pulled a disgusted face. “Yeah… they’re… pretty realistic. Ugh.”

“You think you can handle it?” Piper asked, making her mother snort in amusement.

And then, to his great surprise, Gillian leaned herself against his side, and he slung his arm completely around her waist to pull her a little closer. He could literally feel the tension leaving her body.

“I don’t know, what do you think?” he prompted Gillian, grinning down at her as she lifted her gaze to meet his eyes.

“I think you can handle it just fine,” Gillian said with a nod, and he thought he could detect a tiny, sly smirk on her lips. Yeah, it was definitely there. His belly tingled in relief and anticipation. And before he could think about it twice, he leaned down and kissed her softly.

                                                            ***

“Alright slugger, do you promise me not to make a mess while I’m in the shower? Can you do that for Daddy, hm?” David kneeled down in front of his little daughter, who was sitting on the warm bathroom floor, tiny toothbrush in hand and a mischievous spark in her eyes that usually meant nothing else but trouble.

“Five minutes, okay?” he added and tickled her sides with his index finger, making her squeal in delight.

Eaden, the master in making messes in the shortest amounts of time, was also widely known to always find something somewhere to destroy or hurt herself with, even when the door was closed and the lower cupboards baby-proofed as it was the case right now.

“Otey,” Eaden replied with a big grin, sounding almost like she’d understood his request and was actually taking it seriously, but David was sure that his sweet, innocent looking girl had already made up a plan on how to spend the next five minutes differently from what he’d asked her to.

“I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth, young lady. Which is concerning since you only know eight of them yet.”

“Mwah Dada, nononono,” she babbled and shook her head almost frantically.

“Yeah, exactly, no messes, alright? Daddy’s right back! Daddy hears and sees everything!” David said pointedly and patted his daughter’s head before he got up and walked over to the shower and started to run the water.

“Are you going to tell Daddy a story while he’s in the shower, baby?” he asked while shedding his boxers, and with one last glance down on the floor, where Eaden was occupied with her toothbrush and completely ignoring him, stepped under the refreshing spray of water.

The day Gillian left for London wasn’t completely forgotten. After their chaste kiss, they had a brief, not particularly uncomfortable but awkward conversation in her trailer in which she told him that she had purchased a ticket for the last flight out to London this evening and that Eaden would stay with him just like he’d wanted her to. He had to swallow a harsh comment on that reproachful undertone that she used to make clear that she wasn’t happy with that at all. He so badly wanted to tell her to just take the baby with her and look how she got along if she really needed to have it her way to feel better. Of course he hadn’t.

There were no further exchanges of affection between them, only Eaden got showered in kisses and hugs before Gillian placed her little daughter in David’s arms, gave his arm a squeeze while saying goodbye and that she would text him before she hopped into the cab to the airport.

The next day, he heard from Piper that Gillian had called to tell her that Oscar was out of the hospital and that she’d been able to take him home. David got a text message later that day, and another one each day, but nothing more. Which wasn’t really that surprising, yet disappointing that she was still falling back into these old musters of hers. He’d thought that they were over that by now. Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

On Friday evening, he flew back to Los Angeles, but not alone as he’d originally planned, but with Eaden. David was very aware of how lucky they were to have such a resilient, overall content and happy baby. If she wouldn’t be able to cope with the fairly regular separation from one of her parents or the traveling as well as she did, they would’ve been in some serious trouble given the circumstances.

Their Saturday was lazy and relaxed. After running some errands and getting fresh green smoothies and food for the weekend, David laid out some blankets and pillows in the garden, creating a comfortable little space for them in the shadow of a tree by the poolside. They enjoyed sandwiches and avocados for lunch, cuddled while listening to the birds and eventually fell asleep with Eaden sprawled out on David’s chest. In that respect, father and daughter were very much alike. Both were able to enjoy the simplest little things for hours without needing more than each other. Gillian was usually a little more restless in that respect, struggled with enjoying the moment and just let things be. It would’ve been so easy for him to wallow in his hurt and sulk in self-pity and loneliness only caused by the way they’d parted. He could be angry about how unnecessary this stupid fight was, just like almost every other they ever had. Instead, David did his best to enjoy what he had - a lot of free time with his youngest daughter - and to trust Gillian to come back to him whenever she felt ready.

When he opened the glass door and stepped out of the shower a couple of minutes later, his first glance went down to the floor where Eaden sat earlier, but wasn’t anymore.

With a shake of his head and a grin, David grabbed a towel off the rack, quickly dried himself and slung it around his waist.

“Eaden?” he asked in feigned concern and started to wander around, pretending not to know where she was hiding. “Where is Eaden? Where is my little girl?” He looked around the corner of one of the counters. “Oh no! She’s gone! What am I going to do without her?” he whined, and heard a soft giggle and suddenly, she appeared within the bathtub, grinning widely at him.

“Hi!” she squealed delightfully, jumping up and down with excitement while holding tightly onto the onto the tub.

“Oh, hi! There you are, thank god! Come here, sweetie,” he said affectionately and scooped her up, kissing her little cheeks before she put her head on his shoulder and let him rub her back. “You’re funny, you know that?” And so much like your mother, he didn’t say, sure that she would only get upset remembering that her favorite person wasn’t around at the moment and wouldn’t spend the day with them.

Burying his face into her soft, blonde hair and inhaling her sweet scent, he instead whispered,“I love you, slugger. Let’s get ready for the day, okay?”

For this beautiful, sunny Sunday in Los Angeles, David had dressed Eaden in a black little onesie that said “peace, love and naps”, and which was, in his opinion, just as perfect as his orange “pumpkin” shirt. But unlike Eaden’s, David’s outfit didn’t get a lot of compliments from West and her friends. For no apparent reason, they seemed to be quite amused by it instead.

Their stroll through the farmer’s market with eight teenagers and their parents, all old friends from the time they lived here as a family, was a comfortable one. When the kids were younger, and him and Téa still together, they used to do these meet-ups with other families quite often. But since they separated and had moved to New York, there weren’t a lot of opportunities to catch up anymore, but it was important to both David and Téa to keep these friendships alive, not only for the sake of the kids.

By the time they arrived back in Malibu, bellies full with burgers, fries and ice-cream, the sun had already Set, West and her boyfriend had left to spend the night at a friends house and the two remaining kids, Eaden and Miller, were fast asleep on the backseat of David’s car.

Together, they managed to wake their exhausted teenager - a task almost impossibly hard these days - and even got him brush his teeth before he went to bed. Bringing the baby to bed was easy compared to that. While Téa was with their son, David changed Eaden for the night and tucked her into his bed with her favorite stuffed animal, where she continued her peaceful slumber.

“Is she still sleeping?” Téa asked when he closed the bedroom door behind himself and walked into the kitchen while she poured herself a glass of red wine. Noticing his confused expression, she shrugged her shoulders and filled a second glass. “Sorry,” she nodded her head towards the bottle, “but I felt like we could both take one.”

“Or two,” David said with a sigh and took the glass from her. “Thanks. To our kids?”

“Yeah,” Téa nodded and clinked her glass with his. “To our wild, independent daughter and our sleepy son. And no, before you start again, he’s fine. The doctor checked his blood and told me that we should start to accept that our sweet son will do exactly three things in the next two to three years - sleep, eat and complain.”

“That sounds just wonderful,” David stated wryly.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I told him, too!” She took a big sip out of her glass before grabbing the bottle. “Come on, it’s so nice outside, let’s not waste this beautiful evening by staying in here!” she waggled her eyebrows and led the way out of the living room and through the back door.

It was indeed a wonderful night to sit outside, listen to the soft waves of the ocean near by and enjoy the pleasantly warm air.

If only he could really enjoy it. If only he wouldn’t miss her so much.

“So,” Téa prompted once they were seated on one of the loveseats on the patio. She was looking at him expectantly, and he knew exactly what it was she was dying to know.

“So?” David asked cautiously and nipped at his wine.

“Is everything alright? How’s Gillian? And how’s filming?”

“Ohhh,” David groaned and closed his eyes while letting his head fall back on the backrest of the couch. “It’s stressful. Can’t we keep talking about our sleepy, grumpy son?”

She gave him a perplexed look, but chuckled to keep the mood light. “Three weeks and you’re already stressed?”

“You know how it is! You just forget how exhausting it is and how insane the hours are… Seriously though, it’s hard, especially with a baby and all that kind of… stuff.”

Téa nodded understandingly. “I bet it is, being away from home must be especially hard for Gillian. How’s she taking it?”

David took a deep breath, closed his eyes and went quiet for a few moments.

Given everything that had happened between them in the last eighteen years, he thought they both couldn’t be more grateful for what they had right now. They genuinely loved and deeply cared for each other, yet the reason why they weren’t a couple anymore was more apparent than ever. They were both the happiest with somebody else. And loneliest without them.

However, the friendly relationship he now had with Téa was based on trust and mutual respect. They knew each other for such a long time, he couldn’t fool her into believing that everything was alright. And there was a time when it had been easy for him to go to both women and tell them about the problems he had with the other. And it was one of the most selfish things he’d ever done. Extremely unfair and disrespectful to both Téa and Gillian.

And he wouldn’t do the same mistake ever again.

“It’s harder than expected,” he nodded thoughtfully and looked at Téa before adding, “but we’re doing our best to make it work.”

David climbed into his bed little after midnight.They had emptied the first bottle of wine while he told Téa what he had planned for West and Miller during their stay in Vancouver and the second bottle while they discussed when they would start looking at colleges for West.

That was the nicest part about their relationship - being able to be the parents of two kids who were aware of their joint responsibility for them. And who liked to raise them together despite everything.

Eaden’s still sleeping soundly beside him on Gillian’s spot, her little lips making sucking-like motions as if she was dreaming of milk and, which was an ongoing joke between them, Mommy’s boobies. Although for entirely different reasons, he certainly couldn’t blame her for that.

With a soft chuckle, he pulled the light blanket over her little feet and ran his thumb down her soft cheek before rolling onto his back and turning his head towards the nightstand to his right, where his phone was blinking repeatedly.

He wanted to take a look, but he also wanted to prevent himself from yet another disappointment.

He took a deep breath and eventually reached over, grabbed his phone and squinted his eyes to the bright light as he pressed the home button.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her name appearing on the screen. She had finally called, and even left him a four-minute-long voicemail.

His fingers were literally trembling when he started to play her message.

“Hi, um… it’s me,” there was a slight pause, and he couldn’t suppress a relieved chuckle. It felt so good to hear her voice again. “I know you have someone over and I don’t even know why I’m calling now,” she paused again, and by the way her voice was trembling he figured that she’d been crying. “Well I know why… it’s because I’m too much of a coward to talk to you and I was thinking that while you had guests over, I could finally give you a call without actually having to talk to you, which is…” she sighed, “… which is stupid because I really want to talk to you. Um, god, why is this so fucking hard?” she asked and then blew her nose. “Sorry,” a soft, bashful chuckle followed. “I um, I’m meeting a friend today, because I feel like this is growing over my head and while it’s you I need to talk to and tell what’s going on, I understand if you don’t feel like that at the moment. Yeah, um… I’m seeing Jennifer today so… god, I’m sorry, I’m rambling.”

“I don’t care,” David said to himself and closed his eyes. She could read the phonebook to him and he would still enjoy listening to her.

A familiar wave of warmth and love flooded his body, replacing the pent-up anger he’d felt in the last couple of days.

“l just wanted to tell you that I wish I could go back to that kiss and just… do everything differently from that point on. I mean, obviously I can’t, but… I would do everything for that kiss right now. Or a hug…” her voice broke, and it was so hard to listen to this without being there. Without being able to reassure her that he felt the same way.

“I love you, David,” she said in a whisper, but her words were loud with longing. “And I miss you very much.”

#are you screaming too??? #:d #moving forward #my writing #allyinthekeyofx #gillovny #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #fanfic #artwork #family #gillian anderson #david duchovny

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Three years old

Part 1

April 14th, 2017

It took David a full five minutes to figure out what was happening. Which was kind of embarrassing if he considered that his clever three-year-old probably didn’t even need half of the time to come up with this brilliant, almost oscar-worthy plan to make a theatrical entrance. And to fool her parents.

He woke up to her kicking at the covers beside him. Then there was some of the usual rustling and just when he thought she was about to climb on his chest and wake him with a sweet “It’s my birthday, Daddy,”, she crawled towards the foot of the bed and, almost as quiet as a mouse, slid down to the floor.

Now more than curious of what was going on, David opened his eyes and slowly turned his head to the side, catching a brief glimpse of a rustled blonde head in a pink jumper quietly opening the door and slipping outside. And then complete silence.

Weird, David thought and waited. And waited and waited and waited.

After a couple of minutes, he heard a quiet voice coming from outside and some scratching on the wall. It almost sounded like she was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and talking to herself. Almost as if… as if she was waiting for something?

And that’s when David realized what was going on.

As quietly as possible, he scooted closer to Gillian, who was resting on her side facing him, still soundly asleep. “Hey, babe. Wake up,” he whispered and slid his right arm around her warm waist. “Gillian, wake up.”

“Hmm?” she hummed approvingly and blinked herself awake only to see him putting his index finger against his lips to sign her to stay quiet. She looked at him in confusion and mouthed a silent “what?”

“Listen!” he said, and looked at her expectantly while listening to their daughter’s sweet little voice coming through the gap.

“Is she sitting in front of the bedroom door?” Gillian asked in a confused whisper after awhile, eyes still only half open and eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah,” he nodded and couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and kissing her. She was so unbelievably soft and beautiful right after waking up.

“Why?”

“I think she is trying to make us believe that she hasn’t slept in here tonight. And a few days ago, she told me that she’s going to be a big girl now and that she would start to follow the rules.”

“What rules?” she slurred, getting more confused by the second. She remembered some rules somewhere in the back of her head, but had their daughter ever followed one of them?

“Just wait and see!” he said and turned onto his back. And then, a big, hearty yawn came out of his open mouth and he stretched his arms and legs so that the sheets were rustling.

Barely five seconds later, as if she’d waited for the slightest sign that one of her parents were finally awake, there was a soft knock on the door, and suddenly Gillian remembered one of their rules: knock before you come into Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom after the birds started to sing outside. She had never acted on that rule before.

It was absolutely hilarious, and Gillian had trouble holding back a bark of hysterical laughter. This little girl was truly a blessing.

David grinned at her knowingly and waited five seconds before replying with an extra-tired “yes?”. And almost in the same moment, the door was pushed open and in walked a beaming, three-year-old Eaden.

Gillian wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen such a big smile on her daughter’s face, and there sure had been a lot of big smiles in all those three years now. She looked so proud and adorable walking towards the bed in a confident, bouncing pace.

“Hey,” David greeted her exuberantly and held out his arms as she climbed up the bed, and pulled her on top of him. “Good morning, beautiful. Where are you coming from?”

“From outside!” she said proudly and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, as if she was waiting to see if her parents would look through her little plan or not.

But before Gillian or David could say something, she apparently decided to change the topic to more important matters. Excitedly, she looked between her parents and suddenly threw her arms in the air.

“It’s my birthday today!” she called out and kicked her little legs into his pillow.

“What!” David looked at Gillian in feigned surprise.

“Daddy! Mommy! I’m thwee!”

“Oh my god! Happy birthday baby girl!” Gillian said cheerfully and put her arm around her daughter to pull her down for a big kiss. “Wow! I can’t believe you’re three years old now!”

“Happy birthday, Eaden!” David pulled her into a bear hug. “You’re such a big girl now! We love you very, very much!”

“Yeah,” Eaden nodded and rested her head on David’s chest, grinning at her mother. “And I know the wules now!”

Gillian chuckled and let David pull her close to them. “You know the rules now?”

“Yes! Do I get my pwesents now?” she asked and put her fingers into her mouth, suddenly concerned if her efforts were enough to be that “good, well behaved girl” who earned herself all those presents she’d asked for. Although she wasn’t sure if it was enough for that little brother she’d desperately asked for, but certainly for the pack of chewing gum.

“Yes, baby,” Gillian smiled affectionately and stroked a few strands of hair behind her daughter’s ear, fighting hard to hold back the tears. “Let’s go downstairs, have your birthday breakfast with all the things you like and open up all those presents waiting for you! How does that sound?”

Eaden smiled happily and flung her arms around her father’s neck. “Like I’m a veeeery good girl!”

#drabble #no beta #moving forward #gillovny #gillovny rpf #thexfiles rpf #my writing #birthday #three years old

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Three years old

Part 1 of “Three years old” can be read here :)

Part 2

April 14th, 2017

Watching a man holding his little daughter, swaying to the melody of Frank Sinatra’s smooth voice while the child, exhausted from a day full of happiness and laughter, clung to him as if he was her only rock, the only one who would bring her safely through yet another dark, bustling night, was as close to get a taste of complete bliss as it could get.

Eaden’s head was slumped against her father's broad shoulder, whose nose was deeply buried into the nape of her neck. Gillian could hear him humming softly to their daughter, and every now and then, he tilted his head slightly to look at her face, watching her eyes getting heavier while she was tiredly looking at her own little fingers tracing the collar of his shirt.

It was the perfect ending to a very special day for their little girl, and for her entire family.

To witness how loved their daughter was by all of her siblings, grandparents and friends was one of the best feelings for a parent.

Knowing how much dedication and time her sisters had put into the three tiered, ocean themed birthday cake with a giant whale on top. It had taken them days to plan this thing just because their little sister was probably the only three-year-old girl around who didn’t want Elsa, Anna or any other recent Disney princess on her cake. Instead, their little Arielle had asked for her very own underwater queendom, as she insisted it should be called.

And her brothers, all hilarious in their own way and absolutely smitten with their little sister, did their absolute best to make this day the most memorable and special day Eaden had ever had by being the sweetest, most patient and generous boys around.

Or watching her open up her presents, one more thoughtful than the other, and seeing the glint in her eyes when she realized that she didn’t just get one package of chewing gum, but one from each of the thirteen countries they all had visited in the last couple of months. All coming with a little story about the person who’d sold them, which their big-hearted, little adventurer loved just as much as the gum itself.

This girl brought so much joy to their family, and Gillian was so grateful for every single day, every moment they got to see her growing up and every memory they were able to make with her. She was worth all the hard times, every tear and every fight they had to survive in order to get to the point when all that was left was the heart.

“Hey, get over here, beautiful,” David suddenly whispered over Eaden’s head, his lips curved in a warm smile as he extended his arm towards her.

She didn’t hesitate to step into his embrace, and as soon as he had his arm securely wrapped around her waist, Gillian snuggled close to her warm, cozy little girl already clad in her soft pyjamas. While the delicious baby smell was long gone, Gillian still loved her daughter’s sweet scent. It was as fresh, satisfying and addicting as ever.

“Did you have a good day, baby?” Gillian asked and gently stroked a few strands of hair out of Eaden’s face.

“Yeah,” she nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. Gillian was surprised that she wasn’t cranky in the slightest given how tired she looked with her puffy, dazed eyes.

“That’s wonderful! It was a very special day today, wasn’t it? Lots of nice people came over and brought so many great presents, right?”

“Yeah,” David agreed and placed a chaste kiss on his daughter’s forehead before nuzzling his nose into her blond bangs. “And we had a lot of good food today. You loved the burgers, didn’t you? And I can’t wait to eat the rest of the cake with you tomorrow, honey.”

“I’m thwee now,” she whispered, and both David and Gillian couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at their daughter’s slurred statement.

“Yeah,” David said softly and rubbed her back. “Three years ago today you came into our lives as a tiny, beautiful little baby. And you made us very, very happy.”

Eaden hummed softly and raised her head from his chest, fighting so hard to keep her eyes open while looking at her father. “Bwown hair?” she asked, her expression almost concerned.  

“Yes, you had brown hair when you were born, but it turned blond very quickly,” David replied with amusement, and as if his answer had just made her day completely perfect, Eaden heaved a relieved sigh, put her thumb into her mouth, closed her eyes and nestled her face against David’s chest.

They kept swaying to the music, enjoying each other’s warmth and the quiet and peace that was surrounding them.

After a while, Gillian risked a curious glance at Eaden’s face before smiling up at David.

“She’s completely zonked out.”

“Thank god, I thought she was about to get a little delusional,” he joked. “It was a big day for her.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty worn out myself,” Gillian admitted with a wink.

“Hmm, what do you think about tucking her in real quick and then… start to work on that birthday present she didn’t get this year?” he grinned mischievously at her and waggled his eyebrows.

Gillian shot him an incredulous look, but then burst into laughter so that she had to bury her face into the side of his arm to muffle the sound.

“That was so bad,” she chuckled into his shirt.

“What?” he asked in bewilderment. “At least we can tell her next year that we tried really hard for that little brother.”

“We could’ve already told her the same thing this year.”

David pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders in defeat. “True.”

“But you know…” she said seductively before getting on her tiptoes to give him a soft, lingering kiss and then tilted her head slightly to the side to look into his eyes. “You could tuck her in while I’m putting on something nice for the night… and we’ll just… take it from there. What do you think?”

“I think you’re full of brilliant ideas,” he said, and with a last quick kiss, put his hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the living room, turning off the lights behind him.

While Gillian disappeared into their bedroom, he slowly walked towards the other end of the hallway, and just as he was about to step over the threshold into Eaden’s room, she tightened her hold around his neck, making him stop in his tracks and looking down at her.

She was giving him the puppy eyes and the stuck out bottom lip, and then, in the sweetest voice imaginable, Eaden said, “It’s my birthday, Daddy. Can I sleep in your bed tonight, pwease?”

#drabble #no beta #moving forward #gillovny #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny rpf #my writing #next chapter's coming tomorrow #and a little surprise as well #stay tuned #:D

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Moving Forward - Chapter 48

I’m sorry that it took me so long, but here it is, Chapter 48 - finally :)

Thanks for bearing with me, and for being so kind and honest! Your feedback means the world to me! And a big big big big thank you to @justholdinghandsok and my other two cohorts in crime, @becksndot5 and @sunshinetoday who push me every day :)

I hope you enjoy this emotional rollercoaster :D

#moving forward #gillovny #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny rpf #my writing #fandic

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My friend recently turned me onto your MF story and I love it! But we can't decide if Eaden's name is pronounced "Eden" like the garden or "Aiden". Also, she said there's a short MF you did a few months ago that jumps the storyline with gillian, David, and Eaden. Where can I find that? Keep up all the awesomeness you're doing with this story! I love it!

Hey, thank you so much for your nice words! I pronounce it “Eden”, like the garden :) And you can find the little drabble I did here. I have also implemented the links to everything I’ve written on my blog, here. Sorry, I’m just a loser when it comes to webdesign :D

But now that you reminded me of it, writing that little drabble was lots of fun - I should try it again sometime :D Maybe you guys can come up with some nice prompts!

Have a wonderful Sunday!

#moving forward #my writing #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny #gillovny trash

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Moving Forward - Chapter 47

I was pressured into posting another chapter before London ( @justholdinghandsok @becksndot5 @sunshinetoday ... cough), so here it is :) I hope that after London, I find my way back into my old groove again :) So, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you’re in London this weekend, please come and say hi! I would love to meet all of you!

#moving forward #my writing #gillovny #gillovny rpf #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #thexfiles

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Moving Forward - Chapter 46

After everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks, I hope this little story can stay our safe place. It’s pure fantasy, but I love to travel into this little world and I can only hope it brings you guys as much joy as it brings to me. Thank you for all your feedback on the last chapter - it really keeps me going and motivates me! And thank you, my dear @justholdinghandsok , for being you - awesome and loveable - and for helping me! And thank you @mulderscullyinthetardis for being such a patient teacher - even though she couldn’t do the beta this time due to my work schedule next week, I just really hope I’m slowly getting better and make less mistakes :) Now, I hope you all enjoy this new chapter - The Cutting Room is calling :D

#moving forward #gillovny #gillovny trash #fanfic #rpf #thexfiles rpf #thexfiles #mywriting #thecuttingroom

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Moving Forward - Chapter 45

I’ve made you wait quite some time for this, I’m sorry! The holidays were crazy (lazy...), but unfortunately, I didn’t have any time off since I just started this job in November. However, here is Chapter 45, and I had a lot of fun writing it because damn, David is the cutest Dad ever... :P Enjoy!

Maaaaaaaaaany, many thanks to my dear @justholdinghandsok and @mulderscullyinthetardis, who put a lot of time into the beta! They’re the best!

#gillovny #gillovny trash #rpf #thexfiles rpf #thexfiles #moving forward #au #mywriting #fanfic #gillian and david

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Life Goes On - Chapter 7

Hey guys, this is a little something for Eaden's fourth birthday. It's a little different compared to the other installments, but it was stuck in my head and I hoped it would help me get into the groove again - which it did :-) The next chapter of the main story is finally in the works!

Four Years Of Perfection

She is perfect. So very, very perfect.

With those perfectly shaped, big, pouty lips and the cute button nose that she definitely got from her father, she reminds Gillian more of a quaint little doll than an actual human being.

The cute outfit Piper sewed for her is way too big, the sleeves rolled up twice so one could even see her tiny hands, tightly closed into fists.

She makes all these funny noises, a symphony of sounds Gillian could never get tired of. All the grunting and groaning, sniffling and snoring is music to her ears. Something she never dared to dream to get the chance to listen to again.

All of this is so surreal. And most definitely too good to be true.

Things like genetic abnormalities, miscarriage and stillbirth invade Gillian’s mind while she is looking at her perfectly healthy child, gently running her index finger along the crease where chin meets shoulder. The baby doesn’t have a neck yet. She’s pure, beautiful chubbiness.

She remembers the excrucial, physical pain one has when the body rejects its own creation, and the mental and emotional struggle one has to go through to accept it.

The knowledge what it’s like to lose a child is still sitting so deep inside her that, even though there had been two healthy boys between her losses and this pregnancy, on some days, she was entirely convinced that this couldn’t possibly end well for them.

There are so many things that could’ve gone wrong, yet her daughter only has a purple bruise on her tiny, wrinkled forehead and a slightly odd shaped head from squeaking through the birth canal.

She is so warm, and Gillian can’t stop smelling her devine, intoxicating newborn scent over and over again, even if she tried.

What were the chances to get so unbelievably lucky?

With a content sigh, Gillian rests her head back on the pillow, nuzzles her nose against Eaden’s temple and watches her daughter’s reaction. The muscles in her left cheek twitch and the corners of her mouth lift, just as if she’s attempting to smile. And while she has yet to see a person smile, and learn what it means and how to use it, Gillian feels like it’s proof enough that her little girl already feels safe and loved.

 Four weeks later, Gillian’s already back in London, trying to settle the new baby into the familiarity of her European home.

Mark brings the boys, shushing them on their way upstairs to the master bedroom, where Erin said they would find Gillian resting with Eaden.

It’s day two after David left to work in the US, and she's exhausted beyond measure, feeling all her 45 years, and at least 10 on top. Piper and Erin help her where they can, but they’re all lucky she just got a chance to shower and change into a fresh pair of pyjamas, because that’s a little rare these days. The baby wakes up five to seven times a night and wants to be carried around in a sling during the entire day. It’s nursing, burping, rocking, nursing, burping, rocking, changing, cuddling and sleeping on repeat, and in between, Gillian tries to have at least five decent meals and as many power naps as she can get.

The boys are shy after not having seen their new sister for two weeks. Mark takes the baby first, giving her time to tend to her sons who are still a little confused and unsure of what to do with that precious little thing they have to share their mother with now.

Felix is sitting between her legs when Mark transfers the baby from Oscar into his waiting arms. He is quiet for a while, mesmerized by how tiny his sister feels.

He is not the baby of the family anymore, and it’s starting to sink in.

“What do you think, Felix?” Mark asks, gently stroking some unruly strands of blonde hair out of his son’s face.

He is beaming now. “She’s making a poop face! I love her,” he nods vigorously, and they all fall into laughter while Gillian cradles Eaden’s head in her palm, holding it safely while her brother happily bounces back and forth.

 A year later, both boys are pro’s with their baby sister. Although on the petite side, she isn’t all that tiny anymore, and a feisty thing who knows how to raise her voice, so she fits in quite perfectly. Like that one last puzzle piece that was missing for a couple of years.

Oscar is the patient teacher and protector while Felix takes her on all kinds of crazy adventures. They’re equally good when it comes to cuddles, and they’re often found taking a nap in the middle of the day with their little sister lying on top of them. It’s the sweetest sight ever, and Gillian is so, so grateful for the special bond her children share.

Baby’s her age barely pique Eaden’s interest. She’s rather watching her brothers jump off of furniture and chase themselves through the house.

She screams through the entire hour of mommy-baby-class and always seems uncomfortable around so many babies while she is having the time of her life when a couple of boisterous boys come over for a playdate.

Her brothers play rough, and she quickly learns to do the same. It scares the hell out of Gillian when the boys wrestle and Eaden gets between them, but she knows she needs to trust them, otherwise she would spoil an essential part of their relationship.

Eaden is known to do a lot of weird things, like eating paper and dirt, and even more than with their older children, David and Gillian never know what they can expect from her next. She is the most random kid with a bag full of wonderful surprises.

She loves to play with big trucks, and the lego barn Felix got for Christmas is her favorite toy. It’s not about the horses and bunnies with her. It’s all about the cows and pigs.

The only one who really encourages her to play with dolls from time to time is David. He says it’s important for Eaden’s social skills, but everyone knows that he is the one having most of the fun when they’re sitting in front of the beautiful, self made little dollhouse, which was a present from her aunt Laurie. The baby doll she got for Christmas has definitely found a better caretaker in Felix.

Gillian always imagined her youngest to be a Daddy’s girl through and through, so she is surprised that Eaden’s clinging to her like a magnet. She’s either on Gillian’s hip, sitting on her lap or desperately hugging her legs. It’s both pathetic and adorable, and sometimes a little bit too much, but Gillian wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Eaden’s her last baby, and the time when she would have to crawl into her daughter’s bed to beg for a cuddle would come soon enough.

 When she’s two, her relationship with her oldest brother begins to blossom. He is a laid back, witty boy with a gentle soul who gives the best hugs in the entire universe. She adores him to pieces and follows him like a shadow.

They’re often found swimming in the pool or taking Brick for a walk through Malibu. Carrying Eaden piggy-back to the ice-cream place they love and back home is his workout, he says.

Miller learns all about teaching a baby to back float on the surface of water, and by the end of the summer, you could throw Eaden into the pool with her clothes on and she would paddle to the surface and turn onto her back all by herself. She’s able to float like that for hours, and Gillian is so, so relieved that she doesn’t have to worry that much about the ever present water anymore.

He also wants to learn how to play the guitar, but spends more time cursing when he doesn’t get it right at first, second, or third try than actually practising. David encourages him to keep going, but what really calms and helps him is when his little sister is with him in the room, listening and smiling, no matter how often he fails.

Eaden is a happy, easy going child. At least most of the time.

A couple of weeks after her second birthday, the terrible twos hit them quite unexpectedly, and pretty much full force. Suddenly, it’s all about surviving the power battle and trying to get used to the fierce stubbornness Eaden got from her parents and less about bragging what a darling their little girl is.

She laughs a hearty laugh whenever David sits her onto the kitchen counter and starts preparing a big, green smoothie for them, but she gets grumpy when he decides to do a yellow one every now and then, and it takes a couple of reassuring words from her Daddy to make her stop crying and convince her to at least try it.

Two to ten times a day, she starts an attempt to turn on the vacuum cleaner, the one that is twice the size she is, and tries to pull it out of the storeroom. It always ends in tears  - either because she hurts herself before someone can stop her, or because someone makes her stop and she ends up throwing herself onto the floor, screaming bloody murder until she grows tired of being ignored.

Whenever she’s having one of those temper tantrums at other people’s houses or in public, Gillian and David look at their daughter lovingly and amused from afar, telling everyone who stops to watch the scene that they deserved nothing to begin with, but got everything they could’ve hoped for.

 She is three and has already been to her first Women’s March in London when she tells a group of people that, “Trump is an asshole and he needs to go home”.

Neither Gillian nor David have told her a lot about this horrible person that was now the president of the United States, but Eaden has two very outspoken older sisters with very strong opinions. They are out there using their voices to make a change in the world, and Eaden is fascinated by their passion and power. Her sisters are her heroes, two brave young women nobody could possibly keep from what they want in their lives, and both David and Gillian are happy that she gets to grow up with that mindset. She is not afraid to say exactly what she thinks and feels, and that’s pretty much what her parents want for her.

With five outward bound siblings and a nursery school that takes the kids out to the forest twice a week, Eaden is always covered in sand, dirt and mud, and all her pants have grass stains on them somewhere.

She is best buddies with a lot of boys in a matter of seconds, but oftentimes, little girls need some time to warm up to her. She is too loud and too impetuous, that's what Gillian often hears from other parents whose daughters are scared of Eaden.

By the end of the year, Eaden discovers the power of clothing, and that by wearing a dress, other girls are more likely to invite her to play with them than when she's wearing dirty shirts and ripped jeans.

It’s around that time that Gillian starts to have horrible nightmares. Sometimes, they haunt her every single night, draining every ounce of energy out of her so that she’s left with nothing to make it through the day.

It’s always the same pattern. She dreams she wakes up somewhere - in the hospital right after giving birth; in a hammock on a beautiful beach, surrounded by palms; at home on her comfortable couch - and Eaden is nowhere to be found. A mentally ill person steals the baby from the hospital. Her child drowns in the sea while she is relaxing, or tumbles down the stairs because she forgot to close the baby gate.

It’s always about losing Eaden. It has been since her conception. Ever since Gillian started to want this baby.

She decides to go to therapy again, and even asks David to join her from time to time.

It’s important, for both of them.

The roots of her anxiety are buried deep inside and are over twenty years old. They lost a child back then, and she never allowed herself to grieve it. She never allowed them to grieve together.

Not until now.

Healing… healing is a lot of work and may take a lifetime, but as she starts to get better, she knows it was the right thing to do.

 At four years old, Eaden is out there to impress and intent on running the show.

It’s always “Daddy, look!”, “Daddy, watch that trick!” and “Daddy, did you see that?”. They hear a lot of “Why?”, “No, Mommy!” and “I can do that alone!” - every single day, all day long.

She is brave and fierce, always looking for the next challenge, always pushing herself a little harder. She gets that from her mother, although it’s David from whom she inherited that athletic streak and the need to move, move, move.

She is never standing still, and never shutting up. A chatterbox, and the most hilarious one at that, but also argumentative and always trying to debate anything and everyone.

Eaden’s cute and tiny, but she definitely means business. Raising her is, so far, one of the most challenging things David and Gillian have ever done.

Rules are there to break, and boundaries to bend. Sometimes, emotions run so deep it’s hard to figure out how to properly respond to their little hurricane, and it takes everything out of them to act as a team and guide her instead of letting her be, even if it would be much easier.

Gillian often envies people with shy, compliant kids who don’t put up a fight about every little thing. The silver lining is that Eaden already knows exactly what she wants and only has to be taught how to voice it in an appropriate manner.

While she is a very demanding child, she is also the sweetest, most precious thing on the planet.

When she wakes up, she always puts her little hands on Gillian’s cheeks while she’s still asleep, turns her head and plants a heartfelt kiss on her mom’s mouth.

At some point, she suddenly starts to make compliments, or at least what she thinks are compliments. "I like your butt, Mommy. It feels nice and squishy, like my pillow." is still Gillian's favorite one, although "You're the best Daddy in the world, you're almost as cool as Mommy!" is not that far behind. Eaden has so many 'nice' things to say about David's singing, Gillian could fill a whole book with it.

She is like Felix in that way. Melting people’s hearts with their adorable clumsiness.

She is perfect. So very, very perfect with all her quirks and flaws. She may still look like a quaint little doll, but she is anything but lifeless.

#dgr #rpf #thexfiles rpf #gillovny #gillovny trash #moving forward #my writing #life goes on #fanfic #eaden