#theres a lot more commissions stuff to follow :)

[vivipokedex]

gastrodon for @joeys-piano and meganium for @featherfur ^_^ thank you so much for commissioning me!

#theres a lot more commissions stuff to follow :) #gastrodon #meganium

[teardew]

-

im thinking about making a patreon because i .. uh .. i cant justify drawing for myself anymore and its killing me lmao

it takes me really long to draw so any time i hav should be spent on comms... iv been trying to fight off burnout by drawing things i like inbetween commissions like that sv anatomy practice and vampire/werewolf mngling was just for me but it still ended up setting me behind schedule because i had to rest my eyes and wrist afterward. but not only that i also wanna like. make a lot more things ...

like i wanna do animal, insect, architectural, jewelry studies and fashion and character design explorations and try designing icon packs and branch out trying embroidery with mixed media and clothes making and get into making like 3d things with clay and soft sculptures. i wanna make historical fashion coloring books with việt phục and fashion zines ...

also theres a lot of stuff i dont post bc im not sure if anyone would be interested in all the design concepts and notes i had for example the homestuck dreamer outfits or the various sha hualing designs and sketches i had before getting to the thing i posted? like i hav a bunch of different sqh outfit and hair designs but theyr more clothing based and not detailed character/face art ...

idk !! it sounds like an excuse. its like, who cares just post it ! i know i shouldnt value my art by the amount of numbers i get from posting on social media and i dont mostly but its kinda unavoidable ? to me ? i know i only post fanart and ppl follow me for that and its not a bad thing ! being realistic i just dont think anybody but me would be interested in it ??

i dont know. god. i dont know what this post is about. ''i dont think anybody would be interested in the things i really wanna make'' but im thinking about making a patreon for things i really wanna make anyway because thats the only way i can justify it is if i can profit off it in some way. i dont really want to, but with my financial circumstances i dont know. i never wanted to make my livelihood off my art. i dont even consider or call myself an ''artist'' really, i just want to MAKE art

i dont know why i still cant find a steady job after 5 months applying to everything and its making me miserable. its embarassing, they say to be persistent with jobs but calling and even walking in to check on applications and watching employers awkwardly try to turn me away without just flat out telling me no even though none of them hire me is an exercise in public humiliation. how bad do you want a job? bad enough to make a fool of myself with nothing to show for it. and i want to make art for myself to cope but it takes too much time and time is money

maybe this post is about my art anxiety under capitalism. i dont know

i think im safe enough now to admit my friends gofundme i was posting about months ago about helping their friend escape their abusive household was actually my gofundme because i was worried about them finding out and preventing me from leaving or internet stalking me afterwards. i did hav a scare when i got a phone call i thought was from my brother but ended up being a police officer, whos my mother's friend ...

but anyways. me admitting this is just to give context that. i ran hundreds of miles away from financial security and everything i ever knew and im still struggling to find steady income nearly half a year later. i just dont understand what im doing wrong. is it my name? is it because im not from here? iv been working continuously ever since i could legally my resume isnt BAD. am i just stupid? should i have just tried to make peace with my lot in life?

i thought getting away from my family would let me be in a better place to create more art, thats one of the things i was so excited about but this feels just as stressful as when i was the only earner supporting my family during covid. i just want a stable job so i can make art. i dont want making art to be my Job. i dont want to be a ''starving artist'' begging for people to care about my art i just want to make art. but fuck i dont know how to sustain any of this

sorry for this mess. insurance is different out here and i havnt been able to find a psych either so its not like i can talk about this in therapy instead of venting on my art blog. all my life i wanted to make things without the fear of it all being destroyed. the main reason i havnt branched out from illustrations is because its entirety can be saved digitally even if its physically ruined. my sketchbooks were thrown away or ripped apart by my family either from carelessness or anger to hurt me but now that im finally enough safe to have them again or make something i can hold in my hands without the fear that someone will come in break it and make me clean up its corpse i cant afford it

i dont know what to do. is it worth it? is making art worth it? i mean. its worth the rent this month. and i still love drawing god this is probably bad for business because i dont want people to feel bad for commissioning me or anything but not to be dramatic why does it feel like im fucking dying

#long post #i keep trying but idk why tumblr wont let me put this under a read more im sorry

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...

(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....

also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.

i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.

i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....

i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.

(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)

sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better

#not culture

[dq9]

Hey I gotta ask.

How do you find all of this yuri on ice art?

You reblog/queue/save so much of it and yet I wonder how you keep finding new stuff. Do you just have a super deep scroll on a tag permanently open? Did you queue it all in one like 48 hour scroll? Some secret third option? I gotta know

a few options, theyre all at least partially true!!

there are a bunch of active yoi blogs!! harocat, jewishvitya, neutronice, cecebeanie, vityascielo, and blended-ice of course all come to mind, but theres plenty more i havent mentioned that i can get all sorts of yoi art from. i have a fairly consistent stream of art to queue/draft/reblog/etc which keeps me queue goin

a lot of (anime) blogs active around the 2016/2017 era of tumblr will have smth yoi related on it. this includes my own old blog for instance, but plenty of ppl have tags taht stretch back years with plenty of new stuff for me to explore. or even just stuff i havent seen in awhile

theres blogs from back in the day, for instance, that got permission to repost art from other sites like pixiv onto tumblr, like story-kat!! story-kat posted fairly consistently up until this past year, and they have SUPER extensive tags with plenty of stuff to look thru

when my drafts were in the 4k range, most of that was done in a few concentrated bursts. id find blogs w yoi tags, like story-kat or neutronice, and look thru people THEY reblogged from, look thru their tags, look thru Their reblogs, so on and so forth. sometimes if someone didnt have tags but they did reblog lots of stuff at that time, id go thru their archive to see if there was anything new or fun or exciting.

yoi was super popular when it came out!!! theres nearly endless art and writings and meta, and lots of it is still being made now!! i follow the tag as well, so i see meta posts from people such as thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, neutronice regularly gets art commissioned for their fics, blended makes fantastic art with so much heart and love. theres a lot to sift through, and all of it is great

thsi is like a super detailed answer but like tldr: art-cheology at work god bless tumblrs tagging system

#asks #bless ME for having a consistent tagging system blog to blog #made it so easy to look thru my old stuff back then #the blog i had when it was airing!!! #i was there gandalf....

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventures 41

we spent a long time talking about weed and shadow the hedgehog

inferno pops out of eeby deeby by tori oh no. frog says hi. tori is cursing at this lol. frog shows sunnie inferno's cat. suzy tackles him lol. frog introduces inferno to sunnie. inferno pretends to not know sunnie xD suzy says he told her to beat up sunnie. inferno got a 22 to deceive but sunnie also got a 22 wtf. sunnie trusts the kids more xD tori and sunnie just give each other a look.

suzy bites inferno for covering her mouth. clamped down lol. he manages to escape tho! tori says she normally tries to stop suzy but not when it involves inferno. inferno flips her off lol. cam goes eeby deeby. sunnie asks tori what inferno did, so much my guy.

dess and dans are still getting high. talking about how fucked up eeby deeby is. dess mentions another storage and freaks dans out. 'dess are you ok?' 'what do you think?' 'i think no but i wont push.' dans asks why dess joined this weird journey and she says she has a contract. cause of tall ass creepy elf man. cant talk about it cause contract stuff maybe lol. dans peeks in the bathroom on undyne shes snoring up a storm. he says his lawyer could help dess get out of her contract xD his lawyer is gaster and hes a nerd. dess says "oh 2 of them thats weird." "yeah thats weird."

suzy is poking inferno lol. run away inferno! sunnie asks if thats normal xD tori asks if sunnie is in town long. not long just research. inferno is still running from suzy lol. frog makes sunnie put them on his shoulders. sunnie is ghost hunting? he doesnt believe in ghosts tho like wtf xD frog says cam got possessed by a ghost lol. sunnies like what?! tori's like yeah lol. sunnie is also a flat earther nooooooo!

inferno is just walking randomly. he walked in a loop oh no welcome back. suzy pokes him again lol. tori is critiquing sunnie for not believing shit he writes xD suzy kicks inferno in the shin. sunnies next research is a haunted house outside of town. let frog go! sunnie pretends to not know infernos name and tries to take his name xD 'wouldnt you like to fucking know.' tori is surprised he still does that lol.

lady of the house set fire to it and killed everyone side, sounds familiar. very ironic. he was invited to investigate by a fan of his books. a bit sus. sunnie is fucking blind. both tori and sunnie said no ghost hunting DX tori tucks suzy under her arm like a football. tori has sunnie kneel and she peels frog off his head. tori mentions undyne is out of commission and inferno gets excited.

dans and dess finished the boof and now shes pacing. dans is a bit worried. undyne sings in her sleep xD. dans asks dess if shes worried about berdly. kinda but theres a lot on her mind. 'what are you a cop?' fuck no xD he says again she doesnt need to tell him if she doesnt want to, hes just all ears. shes worried from the crossover event cause she didnt appear in spingledorfs future. dans says maybe she just settled down somewhere. she cant go home, same buddy. 'you are fucked up and abnormal. i like you.' dans is so high he sees 3 of her lol. this is her first time seeing a bearded dans lol.

as dess and dans hang out undyne starts sleep walking and broke the bathtub. dans tries to lead her toward the bed and she fucking smacks him wtf. dess throws a snowball in her face to wake her up. doesnt work and she barrels toward dess. dess tries to restrain undyne with magic but since shes high it turns into wild magic lol. dess is blue now oh no and undyne slams into her and they fall over.

group 1 arrives at the hotel. sunnie pats frog on the head he was glad to meet them. tori asks if theyll see him tomorrow. suppose they will! tori sends the kids upstairs. inferno follows. they see undyne outcold ontop of a blue dess. dans is trying to pull her off dess. she wakes up finally. shes so confused lol. dess shuffles away lol. dans hands her some water. he tells her she was sleepwalking and smacked him in the nose for a nosebleed lol. and destroyed the bathtub. inferno says tori wont let us go to a haunted house. dess calls undyne a murder slut xD dans tells inferno theres a soap cart at the end of the hall lol then removes dess blue curse.

tori comes up and is very concerned. dans asks how brother time was and dess takes it the wrong way and then walks into a wall. cam pops out of eeby deeby by dess with an egg in their mouth xD dans catches tori up on what happaned with them. suzy and frog ask tori what cannabis is xD ask again in 10 years.

we long rest and frog is very energetic and they want to see sunnie. breakfast first kiddo. dess tells frog cannabis is a plant lol. cam says dess really likes quests. undynes got a headache and dess picks up frog from jumping on her. dess says she saw frog die 40 times or so. like girl what. tori of course really hates that. after breakfast frog runs out and starts asking people where the haunted house is.

frog you smell like weed stop that xD the guy just runs.dans is just having vani sniff out sunnie and undyne follows him. haunted house! frog just runs in okie dokie. frog avoids a hole then starts yelling for sunnie. time to split up! very burnt home. are we sure this isnt tori's family? after a long investigation i didnt bother writing, inferno sees a ghostly woman. cam returns to eeby deeby lol. undyne just wants to leave. ghost lady hates the husband guy i guess. sunnie isnt here.

#dans #dnd #dnd adventures #dess your so fucked up i love you #dess we should do weed again

[moxartz]

My name is Mox, I am 32 and I draw a lot of cartoon stuff and whatever I end up hyper fixating on.

DOB: February 15

Gaming Details Steam: MOXart Xbox LIVE: MOXartz PSN: Moxartz Battletag: Moxartz#1760 Pokemon Go: 1150 2786 6769 3DS friendcode: 2681-0061-3399 Switch Friendcode: SW-4060-4748-3616

COMMISSIONS OPEN THROUGH https://artistree.io/moxartz and https://ko-fi.com/moxrz

Payments through Ko-fi and Artistree and orders will be handled with flexibility based on the offer and request.

Minimal price will be for soft sketchy style works or emojis and some specification is required such as what amount of body is shown, if theres more than one character, any sort of coloring, etc. YOU CAN ask how much a certain amount might get you and I can give you estimations. I can also start on the sketch process, but will not advance further until a payment is made. I will follow up over discord, artistree, ko-fi, and email whichever method you prefer.

It is a first come first serve, meaning I will have a possible queue and estimate time will be within 2-4 weeks to complete each order.

I reserve a right to decline a request and will notify about it.

#moxartz art #commission #art #digital art #commission sale #commissions open

[stuffed-gutz]

ur guro content isnt even the most appealing to my own tastes overall but im dropping a follow just cause i respect how much effort u put into sourcing the art! i saw a post from like a month ago abt how much u put into making sure you credit the artists and so many guro blogs just straight up post stuff from the artists without even leaving the name attached and i think thats pretty cool of you. and yknow every now and again theres something that hits close for me so why not follow. ur blog is cool keep rocking

Uwaaaauwuwuahauwah... thank u so much !!

A lot of my close friends are artists who have done commissions and stuff b4 and sometimes had their stuff reposted, and I've ALSO seen some artists on pixiv and fanbox n stuff remove all their accounts due to reposts so like. I do think it's important to give at least a basic source. These images don't just pop up overnight!!1! If you like it, it's worth it to try and find where its from PLUS THEN YOU GO TO THEIR PROFILE AND SEE MORE COOL ART!! every1 wins!!

Anyway I understand why some people don't give credit because it does sometimes take FOREVER to try and find the original source of some of the older images (which are often the coolest) and sometimes I CANT find SHIT besides reposts. Which is frustrating as fuck. But idk, some sources seem lost to the ages and that makes me sad. Like I wanna see more guts by whoever drew that, man... I like how those guts look, I wanna see the artist!!

Sorry for rambling but idk, I do think about this stuff.

#questionz

[starry622]

hello, im oliver, or v for short. i am 20 years old, bodily. im an artist, a dog, and the host of a system.

ive got bpd, hpd, dpd, and schizophrenia, all of which, of course, affect the system. my biggest psychotic symptom is that of clinical lycanthropy and cynanthropy, which you will see reflected often on this blog (especially under the tag #clinical zoanthropy). i cant effectively be reality checked, at least in this regard, so dont even try it. more info on this under the cut. :]

im very into social justice, mogai/liom, art, and general fandom stuff

i now have a somewhat stable home, but i still take donations, as i lost my job last month and currently have no way to make any money besides commissions and donations. i work hard every day applying to every job i can possibly find, following up on applications, and getting interviews, but that does not fund the cost of living in the meantime. im working to put up a commissions carrd (that will also function as a mini portfolio), though i will still be taking commissions before the carrd is finalized. i havent had a meal in a week, so i could really use the money, if anyone is willing to help.

if you need a dni, my basic boundaries are that proshippers, pro-contact harmful paraphiles, and radqueers dont interact. i do, however, have a byf, which is on my carrd (linked below)

my personal carrd is here: [link]

my commission carrd is: still unfinished

my cashapp is: $Starry622

do be warned, my tumblr webtheme (starry622.tumblr.com) is not safe for those who are sensitive to flashing or eyestrain. there is no necessary info on my webtheme, so you will not ever have to visit it for any reason.

for more zoanthropy info: my body can morph and change to become more canine-like, and it can go through certain stages. human-> boy with canine features -> full canine (with the regular animal anatomy) or werecanine (more like a hollywood werewolf) and my transformations can cause pain and discomfort, though i mostly just feel fur sprouting and my organs shifting. my mind is that of a humans, however my soul and dna are that of a canines.

i dont really know what a p-shifter is, but i guess you could call me one? i dont think shifting is something you can learn anyways and i cant control it, so i feel like most people either can or cant shift. theres always exceptions to the rule, however, not that i would be teaching anyone how, especially because that seems like a dangerous move for all involved parties. plus, i dont even know how i do it, i just do, so id be useless for that.

i dont know what the deal is and why i am both a wolf and a dog, and my identity as a whole is definitely more dog, all i know is that its me. thats why i use canine instead of specific dog or wolf when speaking generally, because "dog or wolf" is a mouthful.

i dont identify with the word human, but its easier to explain that way. i am more a person. my brain is and stays that of a sentient, sapient person living in a human society. im culturally human, you could say.

rarely, ill have short-ish bouts where i am a different animal, usually on top of being a canine, which confuses me, but i choose to go with the flow about it. if i think too too much about it, im afraid ill confuse myself more than just suddenly becoming a lagothrope/kounanthrope (family including rabbits, bunnies, hares) and accepting it until its over. i dont know what those little bouts are about, and i kinda dont wanna know!

i identify with my diagnosed clinical label simply because i experience a lot of double bookkeeping (i believe thats what its called). im aware of myself in some ways, and see how others see me alongside how i see myself. this is also exactly why reality checking doesnt work on me. i am aware of my symptoms, and i believe the delusions and semi-rare hallucinations that act as proof of my true self. my experience is constant clashing in that way, like i can see more than everyone else, but it rarely causes a problem, and so i go with it. no use fighting it. im a lazy dog, if youll forgive the pun.

#pinned post #pin #yippee yippee new pinned post!! #hooray yahoo #woohoo wahoo #anyways hello and welcome #or welcome back #shrug emoji

[pespillo]

i know i just reblogged a tumblr field guide and all but i need to tell you things that ive learned in my 11 years here:

popularity does exist in tumblr but its not guided by how many followers you have it is based on the amount of asks you probably get and the metric of it is that youll get some insane asks in here if you Just Wait, from invasive questions to people asking you what do you think of the death penalty in america when you have a blog about My Hero Academia , to bait questions or copypastas that been passed for half a decade about an user called Amegaotaku that youll have to research to even understand what the hell it means . "Popular" people of tumblr can remake their blogs constantly but what matters is that you have people who Wont Shut Up and engage conversation with you, especially through asks, when people want your attention, theyll probably send you an ask.

this doesnt happen as often as it did in the mid 2010s but embarassing yourselves in public is incredibly easy in this site if you Throw Yourself to the wolves, as in , you impulsively add onto a conversation with an addition thats often done emotionally, carelessly, or literally misinterpreting the intent of a post itself because you took it personally. this literally never goes well especially if you engaged with a post from an user who has Very reactive followers, because while i doubt youll get threats or such, youll still probably get hounded in the replies and this site´s social rules are extremely lax with the words you are allowed to say. While a whole "we need to be kind to eachother" approach IS the reasonable solution, it is much better to not engage with innocous posts that piss you off if you are aware that the average tumblr user doesnt have any tact whatsoever and is bloodthirsty for a punching bag, they are mostly teens after all, and adults that dont have positive social role models. Screenshot the post that pisses you off and talk about it in your own new post to discuss it with your actual fellow people.

if youre gonna be interested in interacting with posts relating to race, politics, gender or such, be expected to at least list your race and gender (or whether youre exempt from transmisogyny or not) , encroaching into intracommunity issues and trying to add or say anything when its none of your business or you literally dont know what it entails is not wise. also posts and listings about how to "listen to (insert marginalized group)! " from teenagers are really unneded here because theres already so many in depth resource posts in here made by qualified activists, historians, researchers and more, and they been shared for years, or twitter/instagram posts have been literally just regurgitating stuff from HERE. NOTE: i reccomend making sideblogs for this stuff, NOT DISCOURSE BLOGS but just sideblogs where youre not just mixing Supernatural posting and Protest Bills for 2023 , or better, keep all your political talk and engagement in your main blog and use a sideblog for fandom, if you get enough followers in any of these your reach for important posts can be bigger, thats why i reblog donation posts or commission posts in here at times.

A lot of posts abt Tumblr Etiquette or whatever will tell you that you need to engage constantly and all and make your own posts and tag everything or else youll be treated as a Bot, but you dont really, when i joined tumblr in 2012 i lurked for 3 years and just reblogged posts without much mind or even posting much, but there was no expectation of me to do anything than to just look around , and its fine, i think if i said anything thru my early teens it would have been a disaster considering how much my late teens were, it would have made it worse, you dont need to say anything if you dont wanna, you dont need to form any sort of persona here or talk to people if its not your thing and youre young or not , maybe you wanna learn the ropes first and learn "the culture" before diving in, maybe you just like to observe what happens without having to participate, whatever it is this site is just what you make of it.

#long post

[palettepainter]

(very brief spoilers to MHA)

I’ve wanted to make this post for a while now and the only excuse I have for not making it sooner is simply because I’ve just been busy, and whenever I’ve had free time I’ve just been too tired to want to make it. I recently had a panic attack, I got a horrid headache that’s only just started to go away - and now that I finally have a moment to just sit before I get onto commissions I decided to make this post 

This is more or less for my MHA followers, but to anyone else in general who follows me this could be just a general life update for you to.

As you have all probably figured I’m really into the Muppets right now, the Electric Mayhem are getting a new series on Disney+ in spring so I’ve been really excited about that and putting a lot of my energy into these characters when I’m not working. I’ve been keeping up with MHA loosely, I’m more or less up to date with the manga up until the fight with AFO and Kurogiri gets released again. The site I used to read the manga on I think got corrupt? One day it just wasn’t working so I haven’t been able to see anything about the manga past that point. I haven’t been able to catch up with the recent episodes for reasons mentioned above: I had a panic attack, I had a bad headache - just largely reasons related to mental health and my own emotional well being right now

I’ve spoken about my mental health before on here - mentioning anxiety and worries with money and probably other things too, but I’ve never been blunt about all the details. I’m not used to being an open book like that and when it comes to being online I try to keep my real life and my art life separate (that’s one of the main reasons why I don’t post pictures of myself to my art socials anymore). However my anxiety and other variables that weigh on that are such large points about my life that dictate how I act that it’s hard to not keep that a private - especially when it affects how I draw or how often I draw, when I post and so on

Anxiety at the moment has really been weighing on me heavy for pretty much this past month, a few days ago it came to a boiling point which resulted in a panic attack, and I’m still feeling a bit on edge after that experience. There are other things at play going on behind the screen, it’s not just anxiety and feeling nervous it’s a lot more then that (anyone who has anxiety will agree that anxiety is a lot more then just those two feelings). It’s stuff I discovered about myself that I don’t feel ready to share with many people, especially family, so sharing it online is something I’m no where near ready for and I don’t know if I ever will - but the main point with all this is that with how I’ve been feeling, I can’t bring myself to watch MHA at the moment with the current arc it’s in

I love MHA and it’s characters I LOVE Ectoloader, but MHA is entering possibly it’s most intense arc yet, there's a lot of themes in it with the characters I’m sure a lot of us can relate to in some way especially with some of the behaviours the characters display. I’ve got MHA stories in the works, I still want to make keychains of some of my MHA OC’s, potentially of the characters too if they sell well, but right now I’m just not in the right mood to be watching MHA right now. 

I guess you could say that, for now, I’m going on a break from MHA - I made a post about this but I mentioned how way back in June 2022 I hit a really low point, The Muppets was something new, silly and fun for me to focus on. And while they have helped, just being able to talk and draw these characters who are just trying to form one bit chaotic family unit, I don’t quite think I ever got out of that funk from June

That’s pretty much all I have to say, I don’t feel comfortable sharing too much of what’s happening behind the scenes, but I’ve been meaning to make this post for a while just to give my MHA followers an update on why theres been so little art for that fandom. If you managed to read all the way to this point thank you, and I’ll post another update whenever it is I feel ready to come back to MHA 

#MHA #Update

[emperornero]

HEY! There will be none of that! I just saw your post about giving up your interests. Don’t you dare. I know first hand it can sometimes feel like it’s not worth it anymore but it is. Whatever it is. Make stuff for you. What you do matters because no matter what it will affect at least one person; you. Something as small as making a doodle matters because for the time you’re making it, you’re doing something for you and that’s important. Don’t abandon your interests because things are looking down. If anything you should bolster your interests. Put in some extra effort if you can and you’ll start to feel the worth of it all again. Keep you chin up!

thank you so much for the kind words.. my main problems with drawing is that 1. im always tired and sometimes i dont work on anything for a long while and 2. the way the art community works rn and how its SO intimidating to me.

i think ive peaked with having ANY kind of popularity back in 2018-19 on deviantart and i was super happy with others seeing my works, but since i was a child there was no way to profit off my work. then deviantart died and so i had to move. and for whatever reason i started posting here. tumblr is in no way a super popular website rn and despite it being used by many artists to this day you cannot compare it to twitter for example. and i dont want to make a twitter for personals reasons. also no one would follow me there except for like 10 people who actually like my art because im a literal no-one here and will probably never get popular. i know super popular artists who are still minors. theres this one guy i see on toyhouse a lot who just recently turned 14 im pretty sure and yet they sometimes earn THOUSANDS off making art monthly. or any other content creators who are very young but have 15k+ twitter followers and an active fanbase who is actually interested in their ideas. i will most likely never have that. its too late for me already despite me not even being 18 yet. everyone here started out so young and if youre not very well known by the time youre like 16 you dont matter. the last commission i ever did was nearly 10 months ago. and i didnt ever get more than 20$ from it. despite trying my best to promote myself nothing works. and i know i will need money to live. i am and will continue to be a nobody here. and whenever i remember this i want to stop all im doing and get rid off all of my socials and start over. its just hard for me. something that was supposed to be a hobby scares me now.

im not trying to shame all the young artists who are popular. im so happy for them. they deserve the money theyre getting. im jealous. and i think thats normal.

#asks #long post

[wolfaartmation]

About me! :D

Hello, welcome to my main blog! Where I do reblogs and share my art <3

I'm Wolfa but you can also call me Charly! I am 18+ and fr*nch buddhist with ADHD. I'm a trans man (he/him), panromantic and very gay.

I am an artist/animator mostly known for Warrior Cats stuff such as MAPs (Multi Animators Projects, not the other one...)

I have some side blogs that might interesst you!

@wolfa-battlecats-designs <- My Warrior Cats designs blog for... my warrior cats designs klskjsnks by Erin Hunter

@warriors-hearts <- Blog for my Warrior Cats x Kingdom Hearts AU!

My ask box is always open if you have questions about my art, ocs, personal opinions etc.. (I will get cancelled on twitter dot com)

I do commissions! If you want to know if they're open/want to know the TOS/prices/etc... please go to this link :)

Here's my socials if you guys want to follow me on there too!

Art fight! (Team: Werewolves) I'll always try to do more points than you in my revenges >:)

Toyhouse! If you want to get to know more about my ocs

Instagram! If you want to follow me there too (Theres more art here as it's older than my Tumblr)

Youtube! If you want to take a look at my animations/MAPs/etc..

I am not consistent in therm of posting art, because senior high school is torture who tf got a nice high paying job for working from 8am to 6pm frfr, plus I have to pass my French diploma this trimester (don't ask why it's a France thing).

Speaking of inconsistencies I'm a self taught artist since... oh god 2013?? Even longer like I draw since childhood soo... So yeah I don't have a consistent art style as I like to experiment a lot on it!

I mostly like to draw my OCs or fanart, but really mostly my OCs bc I love them sm grrr

If y'all are curious about my fandoms and interests (pls ask me about them) here's a list under the cut!

Music Artists and Bands:

Powerwolf (My #1 favorite band!!11!!1)

Evanescence

Hollywood Undead

Avril Lavigne

Linkin Park

Limp Bizkit

Korn

System of a Down

Alestorm (we love some good pirate metal)

MARINA and the Diamonds (the contrast lmaooo)

2000-10s songs bc I love nostalgia

Fandoms:

Kingdom Hearts (HELL YEAHHHH!!!11!!111!1)

Warrior Cats (The community is so dramatic for no reasons tho-)

Saint Seiya/Knights of the Zodiac (The fandom is dead bc only ppl over 40yo know about this)

Final Fantasy 7

Five Nights at Freddy's

Bendy and the Ink Machine

Sonic the Hedgehog

My Little Pony (Old Brony right there lol)

Black Butler (The community when you have headcanons and opinions they will shoot you dead)

Twisted Wonderland (I'm not in the fandom I just like the thing)

Cuphead (Same as for Twisted Wonderland)

.... Am I allowed to talk about Camp Buddy and Jock Studio? xd

World of Warcraft

Camp Camp

Beastars

Misc.

Animals! Mostly Hyenas!! I love Hyenas!!!11!!

Fantasy/Medieval/Celtic stuff (DND, LOTR, The Hobbit, etc...)

Pirate stuff

Nu-metal/Powermetal/Celticmetal

Electro swing

Other cultures's history (such as religions, traditions, etc...)

Horror stuff (Horror movies, analog horror, gore, etc...)

Crystals/Gemstones (idk i just think its pretty)

Mystical creatures

Scene/emo/punk/y2k/goth/metal/2000s/retro/cyber core stuff :>

I am not a furry btw

[cayennecrush]

i dont talk about my patreon like ever lol, but after doing some freshening up on it i figured i’d make a post about it! 

do u ever think to urself, “gee, jasker has been kinda quiet lately… i wonder what she’s up to 🤔" well wonder no more! if u join the $5 Quartz tier you can see works in progress and even outlines for comics i’m planning! 

wanna be a patron but can’t do $5 a month? u can also join the $1 Corundum tier which gives you access to all my new art in full resolution, .zips of all my old art, AND exclusive concept art for my upcoming original comic, Potpourri!

u can see more details on my patreon 🌸 Here 🌸!!

#patreon stuff #no need to rb this is mostly just a ''hey this is here if u want it!'' #u can if u want but u know gkskjfjf #i talk about it so little i know a lot of the time people dont even realize i have one 😂 #theres more perks available too than just that and of course quartzes get all the perks of corundums #quartzes get to vote in art polls and both tiers get priority to commissions when theye open #(yes they have opened on patreon only before also bc i cant take very many at once ghsldk) #anyway yeah #no pressure obviously which is why i dont post much about it but.. if ur interested! its there! #also since i cant post n/s//f/w on tumblr u can get it all on patreon when i make it! its on a semi-secret twitter too but yknow #i dont advertise that much bc i moderate followers really heavily lol #ahhh I love how editing a photo post on tumblr when ur on mobile destroys the formatting and links :’’) #well I did my best to fix but I’m not at a computer rn so sorry aaaa #okay fixed link lmfao

[no-droids]

Whenever You Want

Part Fourteen of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11.2K

Warnings: Listen there is some dirty smut in this one yall okay like I was blushing when I wrote it, it has a very stark beginning and theres a pagebreak afterwards if you would prefer to skip over it. Smut includes oral sex (female receiving) rough sex, sensory deprivation, butt stuff (ass to mouth, anal fingering/penetration) so PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR IT PLEASE. Also there is jealous/possessive mando in this, season 1 Karga makes another appearance, and some angst/fluff towards the end

A/N: Nothing much today yoditos just love you all

***

Din said he’d meet you here.

You’re currently sitting across from Greef Karga in a cantina on Nevarro, a closed shield next to you and a blaster tucked into the back of your waistband, hidden underneath your shirt.  You’re barely even looking at him, though—your eyes are attached to the door by an invisible string, forcing your gaze back to it no matter how much it bounces around the room.

You don’t know where Din is, you haven’t seen him in hours.  But you do know that when he left, he was moving slower than you’re used to.  You don’t think anyone else would notice, but you sure did.  Not that he was obvious about it—you only picked up on very subtle hints.  Leaning up against things just a bit more than he usually does.  Taking slightly longer exiting the ramp of the Crest than his normal strides would carry him.

He didn’t say what he was going to do—just that he needed to find someone before meeting with Karga, and you accepted it.  But truthfully, you didn’t want to.  You were worried about him—still are, actually.  But for all intents and purposes, he was speaking and acting like himself, showing no real signs of exhaustion other than the smallest instances you described before, so you didn’t really have a leg to stand on.  He’s been through way worse, and you know it.  You just… find yourself worrying about him so much more than you used to, and you need to learn how to gain some control over that part of you.

The kid was still passed out from healing him and you remember Din carefully setting four pucks down in the sleeping baby’s sphere and giving his ears a gentle rub between leather fingers.  He turned back to you and told you to meet him at the cantina in three hours, but if it ended up taking him too long for any reason, to try your best to see if Karga will let you exchange on his behalf.

Admittedly, he didn’t sound too confident about it—the instructions were delivered with a tone that implied a doubtful, just-in-case scenario he wasn’t foreseeing happening.  Or maybe he just doubted the likelihood of Karga agreeing to do business with you, you’re not entirely sure.  All you know is that when he left, you were almost certain he wouldn’t be late, but you also took the time to grab the smallest blaster from his armory before heading out just in case.

Yet—here you are, three and a half hours later, eyes flicking between the door and Karga as you attempt to keep up polite conversation.  After turning down his offer of alcohol for the fifth time and still not seeing any glimpse of beskar coming to your rescue, you figure this may be as good a time as any to start the exchange.

During an extended break in the small talk, you slowly reach over to the corner of your booth and press a button on the face of the kid’s shield.  It hisses open and you completely miss the way Karga’s hand raises while three of his guards automatically reach for their hips.  The little green monster is still snoozing comfortably while you pull out the four glowing pucks Din left you and set them on the table one by one.

They scrape along the top of it as you slowly push them over to him, before sitting back in the booth and clearing your throat, flicking your eyes between Karga and his guards.  To you, nobody appears to have moved, so you muster a polite smile at him.

Karga smiles back, but makes no move to gather or inspect the offerings in front of him.

“Um…” you say after a moment, suddenly feeling your heart start to beat a little faster.  “Mando… Mando gave me permission to exchange on his behalf.”

“I believe you,” he drawls out in response, but the pucks still sit untouched in front of him as he leans back in the booth and studies you.  “Mando has always had a… let’s say, a frustrating penchant for disregarding the pillars of our code.  My apologies, young lady, but I’m afraid that I cannot accept these from you.”

Your voice comes out quieter than you’d like it to sound.  “Why not?”

“It is… unlawful,” he answers after a moment.  “Our organization operates under strict rules.”

Does it?  You blink.  No, it doesn’t.  You’re nothing to the Guild and you’ve sat next to Din quite a few times while Karga talked, listening to him drunkenly boast about return rates and out members by name.  You’re not sure why he’s barring you like this, but you’re also not self-assured enough to put practically any spine into it whatsoever.  “I’m… afraid I don’t understand.”

“I cannot legally do guild business with individuals not recognized as members in an official capacity,” he sighs, sounding grave and almost apologetic about it, but you don’t know him well enough to know if he’s a good actor or not.  “There’s nothing I can do for you besides provide you with my company, not until Mando decides to show.”

Well now that doesn’t make any sense, and you’re starting to worry that for some reason or another, he isn’t going to show.  Though it was incredibly well concealed, you’re well aware that Din was still lingering in the final recovery stages when he left the Crest earlier and all you have to go on is his word that he’d be here.  Something could’ve happened.  Something could be happening right now, you need to push.

“People pick up bounties for extra credits all the time,” you mumble, still way too fucking quiet about it.  Maker, you’re not even sure if he could hear that over the sound of the cantina.  Speak up, speak up.

“Yes, but those quarry are listed on the New Republic’s most wanted database,” Karga acknowledges diplomatically, educating more than he is arguing, before uncorking the bottle of glowing blue alcohol in front of him and beginning to pour himself another shot.  “They’re fodder.  Up for grabs—names, last known locations, and biometrics published for the entire galaxy to read.”  He tilts his head down at the four metal pucks on the table without removing his gaze from the gradually filling glass.  “Those pucks are different, they’re commissions.  Tied specifically to Guild contracts.”  Karga clunks the bottle back down again and corks it, pinning you with a stare.  “For all I know, you could’ve murdered a member of our ranks and come to collect payment for his bounties.  Can’t have that.”

Your blood suddenly turns to ice at the implication, eyes wide and your heartbeat rocketing as you look from Karga to the three guards casually stationed behind him.  “You—You think I murdered Mando?”

“No,” he says, easily and in the very same breath, before throwing the shot back and wiping his mouth with a grimace.  “Not sure I’d care too much if you did.  It’s not my rule, but I am required to follow it or risk losing my position in the Guild.”

Shit.  Shit.  What do you do?

You’re blank, left quiet and feeling increasingly unsure of how to proceed.  Karga, however, seems completely unbothered and even appears to be enjoying himself and your company.  He gives you another smile, this one a lot friendlier and more genuine than the one earlier, before setting his elbows on the table and leaning forward.

“Look, I want to help you,” he admits, keeping his tone light, “but my hands are tied.  Just relax and share a drink with me until he gets here, it’s not a problem.”

Fuck, you don’t like this, and a quick look around brings another reminder of Din’s continued absence.  Your chest feels tight, the anxiety starting to compound and make you jumpy.  It’s been too long—it’s been at least forty minutes or so of waiting by now and something just feels wrong about this.  Not having him next to you feels wrong enough on its own, but when he specifically told you he’d be here?

You clench your jaw and try to work up your nerve.  Karga is a nice guy, right?  He knows you by name, he knows who you are to Mando.  And while you never really thought about the bounty hunter’s omnipresent protection as being anything other than metaphorical, you suddenly realize that… it might be literal, too.  How much sway do you actually have here, you wonder?  You’re not stupid, you’re not going to try anything stupid, but maybe just another question won’t hurt?

“Well, um… how do you become a member, then?”  You ask him, and you watch as he leans back in the booth, raising both eyebrows at you.

“Excuse me?”  He asks, though there’s a genuine amusement in his voice.  Stunned that you’d even say the words aloud.

“I have four bodies,” you tell him shortly.  You’re still quiet about it, but his thoroughly entertained astonishment is beginning to rub you the wrong way.  You don’t want to be part of the Guild, you don’t want to be here, you’re doing this out of growing necessity.  “One of which I dragged through a blizzard on Hoth by its ankles and put into carbonite myself, so please just tell me what I have to do to get you to take them.”

“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head like you’re just not getting it.  “New members are only accepted if they bring in an S-level criminal from the database or if they complete a commission that was granted to them by someone of my station—neither of which apply to you.  If you cannot present me with any sort of reasonable argument for which they could, then I’m afraid this is not a favor I can swing.”

“I was sitting right here,” you return, suddenly finding your voice.  If Karga wants an argument from you to get this to happen, then you’ll do it.  You just need to finish this exchange, go back to the Crest, and scan around for Din’s signal.  “When you first gave the pucks to Mando, I sat right here and you pushed them over to this side of the table—I was present for the commission and now I’m here to complete it.”

He shakes his head.  “But I didn’t give them to you, I gave them to Mando—”

“Yes, but you only wanted to give him three,” you immediately point out.  “The last one, the one I told you I put into carbonite—you said you threw it in because you liked me, it could’ve been for me.”

Karga suddenly stops and blinks at you for a few seconds, and you bite your lip, wondering if the logic will hold.  It’s flimsy as fuck and you know he could very easily rip it apart if he wanted to.  It could’ve been for you but it wasn’t, he gave it to Mando.  You also purposefully leave out the fact that you’re also the reason Mando only gave him three bodies in the first place; your only goal here is to complete this transaction as quickly as possible and leave.  You don’t like the fact that it’s taking Din so long, and you also don’t like the fact that Karga seems so keen on keeping you here with him, no matter how many reassurances he provides.  He said he wants to help you?  This can be his chance to prove it.

After a few extended moments of consideration, Karga finally shrugs like he really couldn’t care less before reaching across the table for the pucks and beginning to stack them in his palm.

“What is your last name?”  He asks, turning behind him to gesture for one of his men with a jerk of his head.  The bodyguard exits the cantina without another word and your eyes flick back to Karga’s.

“Why does it matter?”  You ask uncertainly, watching another guard approach with a holopad as he shrugs once more.

“It doesn’t, but we need something for our records,” Karga explains, grabbing the device as it’s tapped against his shoulder without removing his gaze from yours.  “I can just use Doe if you don’t feel like sharing—most of our members tend to prefer anonymity, including your companion.”

Your eyebrows furrow even as your heart continues to pound, wondering how they can afford to be so lax about some things but take others so seriously.  “You have him down as John Doe?”

“First name Man,” Karga grunts in response, finally breaking eye contact to begin navigating through pages on the holopad.

“Ah,” you say shortly, knowing you’d probably find the joke funny in other circumstances.  You’re not out of the trenches yet, you still feel the worry tugging hard at your chest.

“Very well,” Karga announces with a sigh, pocketing the pucks in his leather overcoat and then handing the holopad back to one of the men flanking him after a moment.  “Someone is collecting the carbonite plaques from your vessel as we speak.”

You give him a nod, taking a deep breath that you hope is slow and subtle enough to not give your anxiety away.  He helped you out, you’re halfway through this.  Now comes the exchange.  Now it’s his turn to give you the credits and four more pucks, that’s how this should go.

Only, Karga leans back in his seat and cocks his head at you.  “Unfortunately, I believe we have found ourselves in the midst of yet another predicament.”

Your heart continues to slam, praying you haven’t somehow majorly fucked things up by getting this far.  Din still isn’t here, why is he so fucking late?  He nearly froze to death and you handled a dead body just to make this meeting on time, where the fuck is he?

You raise an eyebrow at him, willing the building panic not to show on your face.  “Have we?”

“You’re lucky credits are attached to commissions instead of rank within the Guild,” he prefaces, pulling out a large handful of them to begin counting, and your eyes flick around the cantina while you know he isn’t looking, “or else you’d be getting about half of what I’d normally give him.”

Heart galloping when you still don’t see any sign of him, you just decide to keep extra quiet as you watch Karga divvy out a sizable stack of credits, hoping your prolonged silence will protect you somehow.

“The question now becomes…” he lifts an eyebrow at you while sliding them across the table to you, “how many pucks do I give you in return, hm?”

Fuck, you don’t like this, you’re trying to make it crystal fucking clear that your intentions do not extend beyond the perimeter of this table.  There’s no you to be found in this deal, you’re just an emergency proxy in Din’s absence and you only inserted yourself in the situation to accomplish that task.  “I told you I’m only here to exchange on Mando’s behalf, that’s it.”

“Be that as it may…”  Karga glances around the cantina like he’s thinking extra hard about it.  This is a made-up problem, you both know there’s no predicament here.  He knows you didn’t kill Mando, he knows there’s no real reason to be giving you such a hard time about this, and you clench your jaw as he still seems to take his time considering it.  “Tell you what, young lady,” he finally turns back to you.  “Do me the honor of sharing one sip of this fine spotchka with me and I’ll give you four pucks to pass along to Mando.”

Okay.  Okay, you can do that, if he really cares that much.  Karga gestures for the closest droid to come by with a glass for you, but you just grab the bottle in front of him and uncork it without thinking too much, balancing the glowing blue liquid with two hands and diligently taking a small sip of it before setting it down again.  Appearing satisfied with your demonstration of upholding your end of the bargain, Karga grins and reaches into another pocket.

“Four for Mando,” he pushes four pucks across the table, “same rate and return as last time, as promised.”  You nearly deflate in relief as you quickly gather them up and begin dropping them into the snoozing baby’s shield along with the credits, but then Karga reaches back and pulls out another puck, pushing it over to you.  “And one for you.”

You blink at him, frozen in place.

“Lowest level, lowest pay.  Not even a criminal by New Republic standards, just a missing person,�� he goes on to say, but then quite suddenly… 

Quite suddenly you’re absolutely fucking horrified.

You don’t want it.  Everything inside you surges up to scream that you do not want that puck.  It’s a waste of time, even if it’s an extra job—it’s too much trouble, too much fuel for such a small reward.  You already know good and well that Din won’t want to bother, getting this extra puck would be considered a detriment to him.

“What if I don’t want it?”  You ask, sounding nervous and vaguely out of breath as you look down at it.

Karga scoffs.  “Of course you don’t.  Nobody wants these, why do you think I’m trying so hard to pawn one off on you?”

Shit.  This is not at all how you expected any of this would go.  You know he’s not really asking, even if his tone and continued courtesy implies it’s only a request.  There’s an expectation attached to this, and it appears you take too long pondering an offer that isn’t actually voluntary.  Karga stares at you and your clear apprehension for just a few seconds more, before finally giving you an ultimatum.  “You said you’re here on his behalf.  You either take all five pucks now or Mando only gets three next time, your choice.”

Oh.  Oh, no.  This is a lose-lose; three pucks means more fuel and less credits, five pucks means more fuel and less credits.  It’s not like you have any real bargaining power here—almost everything he’s done for you today has been a favor of some sort and you’re well aware that things can always get worse.

Still, you take a deep breath and try your best to throw around whatever weight you have left in one final agreement.

“Give me your word you’ll go back to giving him four from now on, no more hassling or hard time constraints and we’ll take it just this once,” you tell him, trying to conjure and put power behind your words even though you’re unsure if they’ll stick.

“Deal,” Karga readily agrees with a smile, reaching his hand across the table.  You have no choice but to meet him in the middle and clasp it, unable to feel anywhere close to good about your performance here.  It was clunky and insecure and even though you just barely succeeded in making the exchange overall, you’re massively disappointed in the specifics.

But then Karga’s eyes quickly flick over your shoulder.

“Ah, Mando!”  He suddenly calls out, and your hand nearly snatches away from his while your body goes rigid.

Oh, this isn’t good, this is not good.  Well, it’s good that he’s here but it also really fucking isn’t.  You don’t even turn your head; you sit completely straight and still while the cantina falls to a hush and heavy footsteps begin to approach behind you.  You fucked up—you fucked up, you didn’t wait long enough and you feel the sharp regret instantly twist in your stomach.  He said he’d be here, why didn’t you trust him?  Your anxiety and stress compounded and spurned you to act too quickly, you made the deal a few fucking seconds before he showed up.

And, as Din eventually comes into your peripheral, taking his time leaning his rifle up against the table, you immediately realize that you should not have worried.  Recovery isn’t even a word in his vocabulary right now—he’s more intimidating than he’s ever been, more powerful and certain and dangerous while he lowers himself into the seat next to you than he’s ever felt to you before.  Everything is so quiet now that he’s here; you feel like even just swallowing against the sudden dryness in your throat turns into an audible gulp.  The man sitting across from you may own this cantina and every material good under its roof, but the one sitting by your side feels like he steals the literal air from the room just by walking inside it.

Yet, in spite of the daunting presence of the Mandalorian, Karga beams and tips his glass at him.  “I believe you’ve arrived just in time for your favorite part of the conversation, friend.  The farewells.”

You stare wide-eyed down at the table as Din leans back into the booth and very slowly extends his arm behind your shoulders, saying nothing at all to him.

The testosterone is radiating from him to the point of near suffocation, you can taste the alpha in the air.  Your heart slams in your chest at the unspoken claim he just made with a subtle movement, and though you’ve never been one for masculine displays, this one weirdly feels… good right now.  You know it’s primitive and crude and you’re not a piece of meat to be fought over, but it doesn’t feel like that at all.  It’s the immediate feeling of security that serves to heat your cheeks, the fact that you’ve been a nervous mess trying to be extra brave this whole interaction and then suddenly you have the backup of an entire army contained within one single suit of armor next to you.

If you weren’t internally panicking at how badly you screwed this shit up, you’d probably be going fucking feral for him right now.

Karga says your name and your gaze snaps to his, feeling like you can’t breathe.  “My associate has collected the plaques, nothing keeps you here any longer.  It was a pleasure doing business with you.”

Still, nobody at the table moves.

After a moment, you carefully glance up and to the side at the sharp, metallic profile of his helmet.  Maker, you can’t explain it—it’s like you feel terrified but not really for yourself, if that makes sense.  You’re upset with yourself for not having enough trust in his word, absolutely, but something in Din’s demeanor tells you that he’s going to be considerably less understanding of how Karga handled this situation than the way you did.

The helmet slowly turns down to look at you, and you bite your lip while carefully placing your hand on his thigh brace under the table, letting him feel your fingers brush against the bend of his knee.

He turns back to Karga after a few seconds, still not saying a single word, until eventually Din’s arm is lifted from behind your shoulders and you feel his leather fingers gently clasp your hand, before he starts to rise from the booth and pull you along next to him.  You both stand, and he silently presses a button on his vambrace without dropping your grip, urging the kid’s shield to follow along behind him.

“Um, goodbye,” you just barely remember to tell Karga as Din begins leading you away, apparently not waiting for the polite farewells he arrived in time for.

“Wait!”  A voice calls out just before you can make your exit, and Din pauses just in time for Karga to extend that damned fifth puck out for you to grab.  Right in fucking front of him.  “Can’t forget this!”

Fuck.  Great.  Thanks.

Blood rushes to your face while you go to reach for it, taking the puck and then placing it in the open shield along with four others in a way that you hope is casual but you know isn’t.  You close the lid on it and then squeeze Din’s hand slightly, but he stays rooted to the spot for a few more seconds, having watched the entire exchange play out.  Though you obviously wouldn’t be able to read his facial expressions even if you could lift your head to look up at him, you can’t will yourself to do so right now.  You’re too disappointed in yourself and nervous—you just stand there silently as he looks back at Karga, staring at your feet and praying he doesn’t do anything brash.

After too many moments of uncertainty, you squeeze his hand again and slowly begin to pull on it.  Without needing much pressure at all, he goes where you go, and you end up being the one to lead Din out of the cantina by the hand still tangled with yours.

*** 

The walk back to the Crest lasts an eternity.

Neither one of you say anything at all to each other the entire way there, and you know he’s not mad at you yet, but you’re worried.  You feel incredibly self-critical right now and it’s really not helping that he seems even quieter and more wound up than usual.  You don’t know if it’s because he already figured out that you just handed him extra work or if it’s because whatever made him late to the cantina also altered his mood, hit a reset button and reminded him of the way he used to be, the armor he’s wearing.  Was there a confrontation, you wonder?  Is he okay?  He seems like he’s… extra Mandalorian right now, there’s not really a better way to describe it.

He doesn’t drop your hand, though.  As you pass through the markets and shanty huts lining the streets, Din holds onto you.  Shoulders tense and strides heavy, but his fingers stay tangled in yours.

Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and eventually the Crest comes into view.  The ramp drops to the ground and the three of you make your way up, and you have enough foresight to carefully drop Din’s hand and lead the baby’s shield over to the unused cot built into the hull walls, closing him in a safe quiet place to sleep and continue building up his strength again.

You turn around to see Din press another button on his vambrace.  He stays with his back to you as the ramp slowly closes, but as soon as it latches up against the hull and locks into place, he nearly whips around and suddenly he’s right in front of you, gloves cupping your face.

“What happened?”  He asks sharply, the helmet looking you up and down.  “Are you alright?  Why did you look so scared?”

You reach up to rest your hands on his, blinking up at him and not knowing what to say.  How are you going to tell him?  He’s gotta waste extra fuel and time on a bullshit quarry because of you, what are you going to say?  You don’t even know if it’s last known location is nearby; he might have to fly to some remote, desolate corner of the galaxy just for a handful of credits because you couldn’t wait a fucking hour for him.

“I, uh…  I-I’m sorry, I just…”  But it’s nearly impossible to form a coherent thought when he’s this close to you and sounding fucking sincere, genuinely concerned about you while you’re stuck worrying about how to break the bad news to him.  “Oh, stars, um…”

“Did Karga fuck with you?”  He asks in that same sharp tone when you don’t finish your thought, but you’re so absorbed in your own conflict that you barely even hear him.  “Because I can go back right now, the cantina is just—”

“Okay wait, please—” You suddenly speak up, “before I tell you, just… please keep in mind that I did save your life two days ago, so…”

“Sweet girl,” Din rumbles slowly, a subtle warning for you to hurry up and spit it out.  His fingers tighten just slightly on your cheeks, still so gentle but needing you to communicate with him right now.

Tell him, you just need to tell him.  If he gets mad, then he gets mad, but at least he’ll know at that point and you won’t just be springing it on him out of nowhere.

“I fucked up,” you breathe out, eyebrows pulling up in the middle as you tighten your own grip on his hands.  “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and you were late and I got nervous and I didn’t wait long enough and I tried to make the exchange like you asked me to but then I had to take a fifth puck and I didn’t want to but Karga threatened to short change you next time around unless I agreed to take an extra one for the lowest pay just this once and I didn’t have any bargaining power and you showed up right after I agreed to the deal and I’m so so sorry—”

You cut yourself off with your own ragged gasp, not having paused once to breathe throughout the entire thing while your expression twisted up with regret more and more the longer he allowed you to speak.

Din stands there in front of you and doesn’t move, hands still attached to your face.

“Okay,” he eventually tells you.  Stunted words, like he’s trying extra hard to find them when yours just fell out of your mouth in a complete mess.  “It’s okay.  You did… good.”

The silence is tense and you’re becoming more and more anxious the longer he takes to speak.  He’s lying for your benefit, he must be.  When he drops his hands from your face and takes a full step back, you take the gesture as symbolic and nearly launch into panic.

“Maker, I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for—”  You start to say, but Din cuts you off.

“Did he make you…”  His back suddenly goes a little straighter, voice finding a quiet edge through the modulator as his fingers subtly twitch at his sides, “…Uncomfortable?”

You pull back at the sudden change in subject and furrow your eyebrows.

“Who, Karga?”  You have to think about it.  Did he make you uncomfortable, or were you just uncomfortable already?  You might’ve just been scared because you were making it scarier than it really was, you can admit that’s a valid possibility.  “Um… no?  I don’t know, not… not really, I don’t think.”

“No?”  He asks, taking a small step forward.  “You don’t know?  Or not really… you don’t think?”

You know you can only see the blade of his visor, but something makes you feel like you’re looking right in his eyes.  You even go back and forth between where you’re pretty confident each one is, trying to read his intentions right now.  It’s like he’s purposefully trying to keep space between you even though he looks like he wants to move closer, fisting his hands at his sides when he looks like he wants to touch you.

“No, he just… lowballed me towards the end of it and I got intimidated, but I’m also not…”  Your expression narrows in concentration while you try to find the words to explain yourself, wanting to be as honest as possible with him.  “I don’t know, I’m not like you.  I’m not that strong, but I’m trying to get better.  I think he was probably just being normal.  He did offer me alcohol a bunch, but I’m pretty sure he also did that last time, so—”

“And I didn’t like it the last time he did it,” Din says quietly, taking another small step forward.

You blink up at him, completely dumb.  This is what’s bothering him?  Is he really not upset with you at all for giving him more work?  It’s like the major fuckup on your behalf just went in one side of the helmet and out the other, he barely even acknowledged it other than the role Karga played.  He said it’s okay and you did good, which are like… five of the most common words in Galactic Basic, a Wookiee could probably find a way to say them.  How are you supposed to take that?  Were you just overthinking this whole thing from the very beginning?  You know anxiety tends to be irrational by definition, but has none of your panic from the past hour been justified whatsoever?

“Why were you so late?”  You ask him, but it’s not accusatory in the slightest.  It’s… concerned, worried about his well-being without having a real reason.  He’s clearly more than fine right now, he’s like a hurricane enclosed in metal and holding still in front of you.  Too much potential energy just waiting for a reason to be released, too much tension held tight and ready to snap.

“I’m sorry.”  He quickly reaches out to grab your hand and squeeze it, before dropping it just as quickly.  Fucking lightning quick, you’ll never understand how he can be so damn quick with all that extra weight strapped to him.  “It took longer than I thought it would and she’s not really someone you can rush.”  His response, ironically, feels very rushed, like he’s trying to address the tangent but also keep things on track, but something in the answer he gives catches your direct attention.  “Did he flirt with you?”

“Who is she and what can’t be rushed?”  You blurt at the same time, not even taking a split second to think about it.

Din stops short at the blunt question, staring at you in a silence that feels like it’s vaguely taken aback.

After a few moments of that… strangeness, of the two of you realizing that you’re both feeling slightly possessive over each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you start to feel… warm.  In another weirdly stupid, primitive way.  You know that letting those kinds of thoughts have their day in a relationship isn’t a good thing, but you can’t explain it.  Some deep-seated, prehistoric instinct inside you just goes fucking nuts whenever he gets in either provider or protector mode.  Now you understand exactly why he wanted to get you alone after you admitted to being jealous once before.  You totally fucking get it, you’re right there with him right now.  He hasn’t said anything, but you think he feels it, too.

“She makes things,” Din finally answers you, careful with his words and somehow managing to address your question while also sidestepping it, leaving you with only the smallest bit of information to go off of.  “Did he flirt with you?”

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly.  “Maybe.  He could’ve just been trying to be friendly.  What did she make for you?”

“She made it for you,” he responds, again not really answering the question but continuing to juggle two separate conversations for your benefit.  “Did he scare you?”

“For me?”  You ask, eyebrows shooting upwards.  Provider, that stupid cavewoman DNA whispers to your lower body, making your voice go a little breathless.  “You asked her to make something for me?”

“Did he scare you?”  Din repeats sternly, grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze.  “Because I can go back, I swear—”

Protector, it whispers this time, and your knees nearly buckle.

“Everything is scary when I don’t know where you are,” you admit to him, knowing it’s the truth regardless of how self-deprecating it sounds.  The only times you’ve ever truly been brave was because of him or the kid.  Stabbing a Corellian and then immediately flying the Crest out to him afterwards, walking through a pitch black forest believing a dangerous criminal was hiding in it, dragging a dead body through snow and shoving it into carbonite, standing up for yourself and pushing a deal through when odds were stacked against you.  Though it’s nothing to him, it’s nothing, it’s leaps for you.  You’re slowly learning to find a backbone, and he’s the one inspiring it.

Din holds there for a moment, unmoving with his hand still clutching yours.  You can’t get a read on him but you know how you feel right now.  Achy.  Hot.  Needy.  Wanting him to come closer.

“Will you do something for me?”  He asks you after a prolonged silence.  His voice is quiet, but… incredibly restrained.  Controlled chaos—his body is rigid and he’s flexing muscles that aren’t necessary for just standing, feeling like a sprinter holding still on the starting blocks.

“Of course,” you breathe out.

Din lets go of your hand and tilts his helmet over at the corner of the hull behind you.  “Go turn around and face that wall.”

You freeze, immediately recognizing the undertone in his voice.  Heat ladles deep into the pit of your tummy, sends warmth pooling downwards.  He wants to do this here?  Right now?

“We’re—” you look around the enclosed hull, “Mando, we’re not in hyperspace, we haven’t even left the surface yet…”

He looks around too, taking a second to blankly take in his stagnant surroundings like he had absolutely fucking no idea, before turning back to you and not saying a word.  Maker, everything below your waist is already stirring, twisting hot and deep inside, but you’re trying to be the voice of reason for a second.

“What if somebody hears us?”  You whisper, and Din cocks his head to the other side.

“I can help you stay quiet,” he murmurs, and… fuck.  You don’t know what it means, but you immediately imagine his hand held tight over your mouth while he takes some of this stress out on you and you already feel yourself wilting at the thought.  Okay.

“Okay,” you breathe without needing anything else at all, before spinning around and standing exactly where he told you to.  It’s just a corner near the back of the hull, nothing else here to look at besides two metal panels meeting at a right angle, but that’s admittedly what makes your heart start beating quicker.  You can’t see him come up behind you but you can feel it.  Slow, measured, but so restrained.

But then he stops almost immediately, before the back of your shirt is suddenly being yanked upwards and you remember at the very last second.

Din carefully grips his blaster and then eases it out of your waistband, the metal sliding warm along your skin from pressing against it for so long.  You never told him you took it with you, and he’s so fucking quiet behind you.  You have no idea how he’s reacting to that piece of information you originally didn’t think twice about.

“Do you like carrying my gun around?”  Din’s voice murmurs soft through the modulator to you, but then the blaster is tossed uselessly to the side, skittering loudly across the floor of the hull.

“Yes,” you reply, beginning to shyly turn your head back to look at him, hoping to gauge his response.

“Don’t turn around,” he quickly interrupts you, pushing your shoulder back into position and keeping you facing the corner.  You blink at the metal walls in a bit of a daze but follow instructions regardless, feeling your heart pound at the sudden display of dominance from him.  He has a very valid reason for it and you don’t realize what it is until a few seconds later, but even if he didn’t and he was just telling you what to do for the fun of it… you’d still like it.

But then his helmet is carefully being lowered over your head and you shudder as your vision is replaced with a familiar black abyss.  Fuck, his helmet, why does he like it so much when you wear this?  Admittedly, you don’t have much time to contemplate—as soon as it’s fitted and secure, he spins you around and you have to just do your best to maintain your balance, not having any visual to help.

“Can you hear me?”  Din asks, and your clothes start to be ripped off of you.  Your shoulders tip sideways with how quick he is about it, feeling him pull the fabric off and hearing the soft sound it makes landing on the floor.

“Yes,” you tell him, but he doesn’t respond, continuing to strip you completely naked in the hull.  Once your upper body is bare and he’s yanking your pants and underwear down your legs, you try saying it again as you step out of them, louder for him this time.

“I can’t hear you,” his voice grunts after a moment.  You know he’s in front of you but you can’t really tell where, now that he’s not touching you.  “Scream.”

You take a second, not having hard evidence anymore but still very well aware that you’re parked close to a marketplace on Nevarro and multiple people are nearby while you’re wearing his helmet.  This is dangerous for him, and not sure if you should, but then an arm is wrapping around your back and a large leather palm rests directly over your chest.  Din repeats his last word very slowly and clearly for you, waiting to feel it under his hands.

Your sternum lifts while it rises with your deep breath and then collapses as you diligently yell as loud as you can into the helmet, feeling like you might deafen yourself with the trapped sound.

“Good,” he growls, suddenly spinning you around and pushing you back into the metal paneling.  “I can’t hear you, be as loud as you need.  Hit me or something, put up a fight if you want me to stop, alright?”

Arousal rockets through you and you let out a moan already, taking advantage of the noise suppression and beyond turned on at this point.  You feel like you’re buzzing with it, lit up with excitement and wondering with bated breath what he’s planning to do to you.

“Alright?”  Comes his voice from behind you once more, and you quickly jerk the heavy helmet in a nod for him.  You can put up a fight and you know he’ll stop, you don’t have any problem with that and the fact that he specifically made sure to wait until he knew you understood him makes you start to pant inside the hollow beskar.

But then you feel him flick a small switch at the base of the helmet and then everything abruptly cuts out and goes dead silent.

Nothing.  Nothing.  You’re standing in a pitch black room where no other sound exists besides your own labored breathing.  Just like the waterfall on Naboo, but you can’t speak this time.  Temporarily making you blind, deaf, and putting a proverbial gag over your mouth all with one powerful piece of armor.

You shudder and he kicks your legs apart before you can do much else, yanking your hips back while you just try your best to cling to the wall for stability.  You don’t know what he’s going to do, you’re completely isolated in here and the only way you can even tell he dropped to his knees is the hot glide of his tongue through your pussy from behind.

Oh fuck—you arch into position as best you can while hands wrap around your ankles to pull them apart, trying to make the angle better.  His tongue licks softly over your clit and each time is like an electric shock jolting through your body, making you twitch back and up for him, stretching and begging him to do it again.  You can’t see anything right now so your mind readily imagines the visuals instead, providing you with a third party view.  Din, fully clothed and face shielded by your thighs, eating you out from behind while you brace yourself against the wall, completely naked and at his mercy, head tilted down from the weight of his helmet and living for the moments he decides to drag his tongue across your clit.

Without warning, a sudden burst of sensation ripples along your backside and causes you to lift the beskar in surprise, but without being able to hear anything, it takes you a second to figure out that he just smacked your ass.  The realization comes more or less at the exact time he decides to flatten his tongue and follow the curve of you back and up.

You gasp into the pitch black and there’s a moment where you just hold utterly still for him, experiencing and processing the sensation for the very first time.  His mouth is soft and warm as he tastes you here, his fingers digging into the swell of your cheeks to spread you open.  You’re glad your face is hidden so he can’t see the shock in your expression, the way your mouth drops and your eyes close as you let him explore you this way.

His gloved hands leave you for just a moment while he continues gliding his tongue against you, along every single bit of skin he can reach, and then you feel a bare hand reach up between your legs and begin to rub slow circles around your clit.  His other arm pushes against your lower back and you’re forced into the corner even more, your naked breasts pressing hard against cool metal and feeling his hot mouth and strong fingers work you closer to the edge from behind.

You’re panting into the helmet, your hips arching back to feel that stimulation on your clit better, and as his fingers move over it slow and strong, you feel a soft vibration against your skin and you realize he’s moaning into you.  The knowledge sparks a different kind of heat through you and makes you suddenly go still and tense right here.  If he stays just like this for even just a few more seconds, you’re going to cum.

“Din, I’m gonna cum,” your voice warbles inside the enclosed steel—just as his touch decides to abandon your body.  You groan loudly in distress, completely alone without his hands or mouth on you anymore, but all he likely hears is the silence of the hull and the way your palm smacks against the wall with it.  You were so close, everything feels like it’s pulled up so tight and painful and it hurts—

A hand clutches your hip and then a thick cock is suddenly pushing up against your soaking wet entrance, going to alleviate that twisting discomfort.  Your eyes roll back and your whole body goes limp as he slowly eases forward and breaks you open, fitting himself deep inside where you love to feel him most.  Your hands claw down the walls with a swell of bliss as he pulls out and then starts thrusting—and fuck, you love this.  You love the way he’s trapping you up against the corner and making you see stars at the same time, the way he’s supporting your weight but crushing down into you, too.  It makes you go boneless and want to riot simultaneously, groaning loud into the quiet abyss as he gives you what you both desperately needed.

One of his hands sinks down between your legs to play with your clit again, while a slick finger presses up against your ass and you gasp as he slowly penetrates you there, too.  Din’s hips work steady and powerful behind you, pushing you into the wall with every desperate thrust, using the arm shoved between your legs to support you as well as stimulate, and you just feel yourself move into a different place.  You don’t have a name for it but it feels like hyperspace.  Silence so loud it feels suppressing, faster than anything light can touch, nowhere and everywhere, hurtling towards something you can’t see but know lies in the distance.  You can tell he’s still fucking the tension out of his body, you can feel him working another wet finger inside you and stretching the virgin muscles back there, but every sensation begins to slowly blur together in a wicked uprising of ecstasy.

You don’t know where you are anymore, just that his fingers keep rubbing your clit and you think he's trying to ease a third into you when your destination abruptly arrives.

You nearly collapse when you cum, contracting so hard around his cock and fingers that you cry out unexpectedly—and because of the helmet, you think it’s just as unexpected for him.  He stops moving—everything stops moving besides you.  Your hips stutter backwards into his stationary body, dragging your clit back and forth against the tips of his unmoving fingers and fucking him as best you can.  It shatters white hot and goes straight through to your soul, wringing pleasure and wetness between your legs in waves.

Your knees are knocking against each other when Din pulls out, his cock still deliciously hard and now soaking wet with your cum, and then they just suddenly decide to give up without warning.  You don’t fall necessarily, but you do slowly slide down the wall like a slug and Din follows you to the floor instead of holding you up any longer.  His sternum moves quick and heavy against your back as he breathes and then suddenly the same switch at the base of his helmet is flicked, and sound bursts into existence all at once.

He’s panting.  Harsh breaths behind you that match the rapid pace of his chest, and the ambient noise of the rest of the hull.

“Can you hear me?”  He gasps, sounding fucking wrecked, and you nod the helmet against the wall while gravity and exhaustion and his beskar chestplate squishes you into it.  “P-Put up a fight if you want me t-to stop, p-please—” he rasps out, almost the entire thing air and so close to cumming, and then his knees lift just slightly and the blunt head of his cock presses against your other entrance.

And, if you wanted, you absolutely could.  He’s got you boxed into the corner but he’s not constricting your movements, he’s given you every ability to struggle.  You could easily throw an elbow back against his side, push against the wall to shove him away, smack at his arms or even just flail against his body in panic—you could do one or all of those things to signal him to stop and you know he’d do it immediately, he’s asking you to.  You could struggle.  If you wanted.

Instead, you just grab hold of the beskar strapped to his thigh and drop the helmet to your chest, nearly vibrating with the thrill and preparing yourself for it.  You know he’s gotta be inches away from orgasm, you know from the tone of his voice that he’s right there on the edge and it’s not like it’s going to last a long time.  Thanks to him, you also feel like you’re just as slick and wet back there as you are between your legs, stretched open by his fingers while you came all over him.  You want nothing more than to give this to him, to let him be the only person in the universe that knows how you feel this way.

When you pointedly do not put up a fight and even go so far as to arch your lower back for him in presentation, Din curses and his fingers begin jerking back and forth over your sensitive clit once more.  It might normally be too much for you, but your body is sparking with lust and quickly acclimates to the stimulation, learning to burn and ache for it, too.  Fuck, it feels so good, you tense and melt into it at the same time, letting him ease you back up to that peak once more.

He pushes up against the tight ring of skin and you can’t fucking explain it—his fingers keep rubbing your clit and he’s slowly pushing into your ass and—

“I—I think I’m—” you suddenly lift the helmet to gasp out in surprise, forgetting he can’t hear you, “ngh—D-Din, I think I’m gonna c—”

He’s just barely able to breach the tight entrance and fit the head inside before he freezes—and even though everything happens consecutively, it’s all so rapid that it feels simultaneous.

Your hips could go forward, but they don’t.  Your body decides to send you backwards into him, pushing him inside nearly halfway all at once as your muscles lock down and just fucking strangle his cock.  Your piercing scream gets trapped in the silence of his helmet as you cum once more—painfully, madly and with every fucking part of you for him.  There’s maybe one or two mind shattering pulses of ecstasy before the rest of your body catches up and starts convulsing, and by then Din is already gasping and fumbling behind you, suddenly realizing what’s happening without hearing the sound of your ragged warnings and then ripping himself away just in time.

He punches out your name when he cums like you just fucking snapped him in half—his body hunches and the beskar digs hard into your back as warmth starts splattering along your skin.  You crumple while he shoves his hips up against your spine, riding and working the orgasm out of himself while yours just fucking obliterates you.  You think you whine his name—or a curse word or something, but it gets strained and your lungs lose air every time his powerful armored body humps you into the wall of his ship.

Finally he eases up and you just lay there and listen to the ringing in your ears.  Blissfully empty, still pulsing from cumming so hard and feeling like your bones just decided to stop existing and the rest of you was okay with it since you were already on the floor anyways.  You feel him shudder and twitch behind you, letting go of that last bit of tension until he too allows gravity to slouch his heavy torso over onto you.

You both stay like that for a while, until your eyes close and your everything below your waist goes numb.  Eventually you feel him shift and your head bobbles as the helmet is slowly removed, but a large palm cradles your chin to stop your face from slamming into the wall in exhaustion once it’s off.  You just continue to melt into the paneling like you’re nothing more than goo of a human being while he trades it back to its rightful place on his shoulders and tucks his cock back into his pants, before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you both up.  The floor and metal walls, once feeling like you and them were one, suddenly decide to disappear entirely as you’re hauled up into Din’s powerful arms.

He slowly carries your naked, fucked senseless body over to the fresher, and you squint your eyes open over his shoulder to see… he’s still got his rifle slung around his back while his cum is dripping down yours.  Not a single thing on him is out of place and you’re, well… a mess is a word that works.  Limp and doll-like, carried like your weight is practically nothing to him after years of having the densest armor known to the galaxy strapped to his body.

Setting you down is a mess, too.  At some point you think he just gives up and decides to return you to your humble floor abode with a patience and care unexpected from someone who just defiled you so thoroughly.  You hear the fresher door open and the faucet squeak, before he turns back around and crouches to your level.

“Stay here,” Din tells you lowly, his modulated voice coming gentle and warm through the sounds of water raining down against metal.  You don’t feel his touch directly, but your hair moves away from your face.  “I’ll be right back, okay—just stay here.”

Can do.  Easy.  He waits until you murmur a soft mhm to him before he leaves the tiny compartment, and then you soon hear his heavy footsteps ascending the ladder to the cockpit.

***

You don’t think you fall asleep, but the powering up of the Crest’s thrusters make you realize your eyes were closed.  Opening them barely qualifies as a squint though; you look around to see steam slowly filling the fresher, the water already running hot and welcoming in the small room.

You know you need to shower but you’re so fucking exhausted, you feel like you can’t even move your body.  You also know you can just do the same exact thing in there as you’re doing in here, you just need to muster up the energy necessary to get inside it and then fall back asleep.  He set you down in the small little space outside the shower door and then got everything set up for you, you can at least stand up and take a few steps.

Unfortunately, you might pick just about the worst time possible to plant your hands on the ground and work to struggle upright on all fours like a newborn animal.  The steady rise through Nevarro’s atmosphere pushes gravity down harder than you’re expecting—is he trying to fly quickly or are you just that dead-limbed?—and then of course, by the time you do manage to fight it and successfully get on two wobbly legs to hold yourself up, the subtle shift of the hyperdrive kicking in nearly knocks you back down again.  You stumble and grab the walls, bracing yourself against them and looking down at your knees in exasperation.  Come on, work.  Move forward.  Come on.

You’re glad he’s not here to witness this monstrosity, honestly.  Just opening the door and taking a few steps into the fresher is a feat—while you’re not in any pain and he didn’t leave any marks on you, you just feel… steamrolled.  Ran over by a truck.  Only having the strength to keep your feet beneath you as you finally move under the water and close the door behind you.

Oh, but this is wonderful.  This was such a good idea, he’s so fucking smart.  The shower falls warm and lovely against your body, wetting your hair and immediately heating you down to your bones.  You don’t move really at all—you kinda just stand there and slouch, closing your eyes against the spray and slowly breathing the mist into your lungs.  It feels so nice—not really restorative even though you like that word, it would imply the water provides you with any energy whatsoever.  It just feels like a comfort, a relief and sedative for your already wildly fatigued body.

You haven’t been in here for more than a minute or two when knuckles tap gently against the metal walls of the fresher, before the natural bass of Din’s unmodulated voice murmurs from somewhere beyond it.  “Hey.  Keep your eyes closed.”

How did he know?  You figured you’d be way ahead of him.  You’re standing but slumped over, wanting nothing more than to just say fuck gravity and pass out right here.  The walls are too cold to lean against now that you’re all toasty from the heat and steam, so you’re just unconsciously swaying on your feet, trying to balance the precedence of sleeping versus not falling over.  You don’t even comprehend the sudden flip of the light switch overhead beyond the fact that it makes it easier to snooze without being so bright behind your eyelids.

The door eventually opens at the very same time you realize you never answered him, but you just commit to the silence at this point.  It’s easy, you like it.  Soon you feel warm hands touch your shoulders, slowly spinning you around while you follow and hang your head, your neck not wanting to support it any longer, and then suddenly a bare chest is pressing up against you and powerful arms are wrapping around your body, and you can just lean all of your weight into him while your head rests right here on his shoulder.

He holds you without moving for a long time, keeping you just like this—your ear pressed against his skin while water rains hot and comfortable down your back.  Knowing you’re facing one of the walls, you crack your heavy lids just the slightest bit and finally notice the tiny compartment is dim and shrouded—the only light source is a single one coming from somewhere in the hull beyond the partially closed doorway.  It’s dark and quiet and you can barely see anything besides the metallic fresher walls and unfocused droplets chasing each other down Din’s naked skin.  Just you and him, flowing water with a sheet metal backdrop.

You think you spend an eternity like that and yet you still find yourself wanting another when he finally shifts, reaching over you to grab a bar of his generic soap but making sure to use the arm whose shoulder you’re not currently resting against.

It glides slow and hypnotic down your back, dragging up over your sides and then back down the curve of your spine.  He’s so sturdy and he doesn’t say a word while he does it, lathering it along your body and rubbing it into your skin.  His bar of soap, not yours.  They started out almost the same since you picked them up at the same vendor, but there’s just a slightly bolder and sharper scent to his that you recognize.  How the bar is far larger than yours because of how often he’s gone away.

Your eyes droop and you feel the water trail over your lips, dripping down your chin and pooling the dip of his collarbone.  The only other time you two shared this fresher was terrifying and he’s rewriting the memories right now, whether consciously or not.  Hot water, not freezing cold.  Standing upright and supporting you.  Heart beating strong under your ear, taking care of you this time until you can care for yourself.

You… you just worry so much more now, it’s becoming an issue.  You didn’t realize how much until you nearly lost him, and you know in your heart that he’s just going to go away again.  Throw himself into more danger, tempt death as always, risk his life for mere credits while all you can provide in return is this.  Skin to skin contact.  Someone to hold.  Someone who knows him, who knows the way he struggles between reaching out for a softness that life has always denied him and clinging to what is rough and familiar.  Someone to remind him that there’s still gentle and forgiving things in this galaxy that won’t disappear when he’s gone, and that he can always come home to them, as long as he can manage to find his way back.

Something sad tugs hard at your chest.  You want to tell him not to leave.  Again, again—you want nothing more than to beg him to stay.  You don’t have anything better to offer instead; if he asked you how it would work, how you imagine your lives would go if he wasn’t hunting quarry on a constant timetable, you’d be hard-pressed.  You don’t know.  But you know what you want to say, because it’s two words you shouldn’t say but always find yourself needing to say regardless.  

Don’t go.

But, instead of two words, you give him three.

Instead of asking him not to leave you again… in the haze and comfort of his arms, you think you just tell him that you love him.

And… you also don’t think the water falling down on the two of you is loud enough to cover it up this time.

It’s not ideal, you know.  You know.  From his point of view, he just got finished releasing all sorts of pent up tension on you, overwhelming your body with the strength and power of his in a way that normal people wouldn’t take as an expression of affection.  But you know him.  You know that he finds it much easier to express the things he feels in a physical way, which is why there’s a bar of soap against your back right now instead of his voice in your ear, telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him in return.  You know that sex is how this all began and it’s likely just the closest link between roughness and sweetness that he can really put his hands on, something that can fit him equally as well as it fits you.  Love is different, it’s thrilling and scary.  Even to someone like him, who lives everyday of his life surrounded by thrilling and scary things, who’s seen more bloodshed and suffering and pain than you can ever even imagine, you know that it’s scary.

Din doesn’t say anything back to your confession, and truthfully, not a single part of you was expecting him to.  It wasn’t said so he could say it back.  It just is.  Some things don’t need explanations, they just are.  You’re okay with that.

But, you eventually come to realize that he always waits until you’re just on the very edges of sleep, holding out until your blurry vision and fading consciousness can trick you into thinking you only imagined it.  You won’t ever figure out if it’s purposeful or if he just needs that long to find what he wants to say.

Another soft, lilting sentence in a language you wouldn’t be able to translate, even if you could pick out a single word.  It sounds so beautiful though, regardless of how mysterious and far away its meaning feels.  There’s something hidden underneath.  You ache to know what it is.

But you’re so tired.  You just whine softly against his shoulder, not being able to transform the thoughts into sentences anymore but hoping he understands regardless.  He can’t just resort to bearing his soul in Mando’a all the time now, especially when you’re always on the verge of sleep when he chooses to do so.

But at some point, his arms subtly tighten around you and the pressure is one of the only things that’s keeping you awake anymore.

“I won’t ever ask you to,” he says to you, the quietness of his baritone getting lost in the gentle spray and your looming slumber.  “I’m…  not allowed to ask.  I can’t.”

Your expression twitches just the slightest bit against his shoulder in confusion, wondering distantly what word or sentence you must’ve missed from before that would make him make sense.  Was that a translation?  Or a continuation?

But then your wet hair is slowly moved away from your nape and his head tilts down, face pressing into your neck and voice lowering until it’s nothing more than a breath against your skin, nothing more than a confession that he couldn’t ever say out loud with his full chest.  It’s a secret he only ever wants you to know, a truth he’s choosing to admit to even though you could ruin him with it.  You have no idea how much, you won’t know for a long time just how much power he’s giving you by telling you this one very simple thing.

“But whenever you want to look,” Din finally whispers, the only version of I love you too that a Mandalorian knows.  “You can.”

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin #fanfic #reader-insert #rough day #no-droids #smut

[bunniislvt]

If you're doing Females for the Nsfw alphabet will you Do X, J, Q for Keqing, Yanfei, and Ayaka? Congratulations on 200! Keep up the great work!

title : nsfw alphabet : j , q , x

characters : keqing , yanfei , ayaka

notes : <3

cw : smut -- describing explicit content -- mentions of overstim

keqing--

═════════════════

J - jack off ~

keqing isnt the type of girl who masturbates often, but she does when she is stressed out from work or just has pent up emotions she needs to get out

she doesnt make it a big deal, doesnt do anything fancy or stuff like that

just using her hands to rub her clit or to finger herself to her climax is good enough

i feel like once she meets you, her sex drive spikes up and she masturbates a lot more than she did before, due to her constant thoughts of you throughout the day

she cant help it <3

which brings us to our next point

═════════════════

Q - quickie ~

if you work with her, she'd definitely be one to pull you off into a closet or an empty office to have a quicky with, taking out her stress on your body in the nicest way possible

of course, she'd be more opt for waiting until the end of the day when you two could have sex in the comfort and privacy of your own home, being able to get more intimate than what a quickie has to offer

but sometimes she feels like she cant wait

which is when she finds you in the building at work and pulls you into a bathroom stall <3

═════════════════

X - x-ray ~

keqing has a toned body from fighting and training

her breasts are slightly on the bigger side, perfectly round with perky nipples

her figure is beautiful and perfect <3

═════════════════

yanfei--

═════════════════

J - jack off ~

like keqing, she doesnt feel the need to do it often, using her slender fingers to rub tight circles into her clit if she has to

i dont think she's familiar with penetration so she tends to stick to stimulating her clit when masturbating

things like rutting against a pillow, vibrators, etc all get her to cum perfectly fine without penetration

once she meets you, you invade her thoughts almost 24/7

it becomes part of her daily routine to hump against her pillow and moan out your name <3

═════════════════

Q - quickie ~

shes fine with them, but would only do it if needed

she thinks that quickies arent meaningful and that sex has to be intimate and sensual, not rushed out

her opinion might change if youre into them, coaxing her to open up more when you get needy before she has to get to work

she would never ask for one, but would help you reach your own orgasm in a hurry if you asked her

how sweet <3

═════════════════

X - x-ray ~

yanfeis body is slim and pale

her skin looks delicate and soft, and it is!

be careful with her <3

she has smaller, pretty tits with light pink nipples

her frame is a lot smaller than the other girls, but thats ok, shes so pretty

═════════════════

ayaka--

═════════════════

J - jack off ~

often!!

with all the stress she carries from the commission, she masturbates frequently

she's the kind of person to try to cum as many times as possible, keeping a personal record for herself

hours into the night, she's overstimulating herself by fingering and rubbing her clit, playing dirty scenarios in her head and trying to muffle her moans

i feel like she'd have quite a few toys too ~

═════════════════

Q - quickie ~

shes all for them!

loves them in fact!

sneaking off with you throughout the day to quickly fuck one out and then pretend nothing happened

"oh! ayaka! theres some things ive been meaning to talk to you about, if you have some time, care to follow me to a more.. 'private' area?"

she would be so giddy and happy to follow you and end up with her pretty cunt eaten out <3

═════════════════

X - x-ray ~

she has a similar body to keqing

slightly less toned, and slightly smaller breasts

and like yanfei, her skin is pale and gentle, be careful!

basically her body is a mix of keqing and yanfei <3

#genshin smut #qii..nsfw alphabet #ayaka #yanfei #keqing #ayaka smut #yanfei smut #keqing smut #genshin impact smut

[the-local-scp]

kk 7 people liked my last post and honestly thats all I need so here we go! its gonna be long lmal

hc x dsmp but its kinda stupid

• cleo hc's

- cleo has to go to dream xd directly to get dreams head cause shes not allowed to just behead him in the prison

- cleo and ranboo have a weird sort of bond where she accidentally adopted this tall enderman kid and his weird trigger happy goat husband

- shes the shortest cause when you're a zombie holding yourself up is hard cause your muscles are dead and she has neck problems from armor stand work

- people have asked cleo if she wants to be revived and she always laughs and declines

- shes been commissioned to make little scenes from the wars and stuff

• bdubs hc's

- mans goes nuts after realizing he can't sleep the night away

- hes a little more relieved after learning that phantoms don't spawn on their server

- he spent days cleaning up a lot of the random holes, fixing the prime path, and trying to make some of the random build look a little nicer

- everyone was thrown off by how much character he has and how quickly he can go from all bubbly to "i will kill everything you love"

- he's threatened techno before

- everyone thought they were gonna see the death message in chat but it never came

• etho hcs

- he has like... a small group that just kinda follows him around his first day there

- he can teleport and its terrifying cause unlike endermen theres no indication that hes teleported

- everyone thought he was part enderman but when the dsmp members asked the hc members they just brushed it off as an etho thing

- they eventually went to xisuma cause surely the admin had to have answers right?

- they never got their answers

- etho accidentally scared ranboo by teleporting once

- ranboo was scarwd because hes the enderman teleporting is supposed to be his thing and he can't even actually teleport!

- etho basically becomes a Cryptid of the dsmp and when he hears this from his fellow hermits he laughs

•mumbo hcs

- what throws off the dsmp members the most is just how tall mumbo is

- hes as tall as ranboo and hes just a normal human! (at ranboos shortest that is but still impressive)

- not only does he make a vault grian can't get in but he makes one tommy can't get in either

- the bags under his eyes have bags home boy doesn't sleep

- tbh almost none of them sleep

- they never had to on hermitcraft so the shift fucked them up a little

(i didn't have much for mumbo i apologize)

•grian hcs

- he can fly (suck it phil he still has his wings lmao)

- has a lot of invis pots just for funsies

- he found the syndicate room on accident whilst trying to find the end portal so he could go end busting

- all the hermits basically did that

- so they know where the room is now they don't know what it is but they know WHERE it is

- he got his hands on some tnt... the dsmp members should be careful especially if etho has tnt as well

•impulse hcs

- has so many totems

- like foolish is a totem god and ranboo has a lot but my mans impulse has chests upon chests of totems

- he looked at the 3 lives rule and LAUGHED

- the dsmp members thought "k maybe hes more normal"

- BOY WERE THEY WRONG

- he has his base yea? the dsmp memebers are already impressed but impulse isn't finished... it goes deeper (thats what she said)

- he has an advance security system so no one steals his stuff

gonna break this up into multiple parts cause i don't want a monster of a post so yea! anyone can use these, feel free to credit no need to tho

#grian #mumbo jumbo #impulsesv #hermitcraft #hc x dsmp #dsmp #dsmp x hc #ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #zombiecleo #ranboo #tommyinnit