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thechildofstark · 3 years

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Fuck John Walker (and also some other stuff): A Response To Episode Four

WARNING: some bad language, death mentions, violence mentions, blood mentions, racism, spoilers for for ep 4 of tfatws

DISCLAMER: I have some Opinions about various characters. These do not extend to the actors, who I’m sure are lovely and should be treated with the dignity, privacy and respect that they deserve.

“Fuck John Walker” was originally meant to be the subtitle. I decided on it when he screwed up the op for Sam. It got ungraded during the final scene, because nothing else could possibly compare as a necessary title to this post.

Essentially, some (out of order) thoughts on episode 4:

~*Sam and Bucky, working together*~ (pretend this is a musical jingle)

The contrasting ways that they interacted with the displaced

While the incredibly valid argument can be made that Sam is the least privileged of the group (I’ve made it) it is obvious that he has had the most structured civilian life: approaching the people he comes across openly. Yes, he is polite and calm, but the closest thing to this he has personally come across in the past (that we know of) would be the war vets he worked with and the critical difference is that they wanted to be there. From what I remember of Sam’s groups they didn’t seem to be a sort of mandatory requirement: you came because you chose to. Or at least, you came prepared for the situation. Here, Sam is an outsider and an unwelcome threat. These people are not going to open up to him.

Bucky is quieter, but still quite straight forward in the way he presents himself. I think he may show a little more care for the environment he is in than Sam but that isn’t saying much. Yes, he has experienced much worse things than Sam but we still see his unfamiliarity with this sort of situation paired with some less than stellar social skills really not working in his favor.

Look, I love both these 2 to death. But this is not what they know.

Zemo on the other hand quite likely lived in a place similar to this after his family was murdered. He shows an understanding of how this sort of situation would work, going to children who:

a) wont necessarily peg him as an outsider

b) are bribable

also I think he was genuinely super glad to give those kids that candy and money. He would have been such a good dad. now I have Zemo feels. somebody help me.

The inclusion of the Dora Milaje was incredibly awesome, and not just because I simp for powerful women. Narratively, this was the perfect place for them to join the party and assert their right to apprehend Zemo.

Bucky speaking Xhosa (i think it was?) is very cool

I would like to take this moment to formally state that Caption John Walker is a motherfucking asshole.

It was also really nice to see Sam’s therapist skills, that worked against him earlier really help him here.

I liked seeing that more human side of Karli, and having her interact with the “enemy” and have serious conversation about what everyone is doing.

Until Captain Insecurity has to destroy the op because he doesn’t trust the people he chose to work with, no one has comms or anything I guess?

Also Walker deferring to Bucky for team decisions over Sam, talking over Sam and acting like he knows better than Sam?

I smell racism in this Chili’s tonight

It was also really interesting to get a more in-depth look at how Zemo views supersoldiers. Nearly all the ones that he has either heard of or interacted with (destroyed) had either volunteered for the serum or were so brainwashed that it didn’t make a difference. These people are a dangerous enemy to be eliminated, alongside people like Dr. Nagel. His entire worldview is focused on their destruction that the idea that one of them could be a normal person is impossible to him. The only exceptions acknowledged are Steve (paragon of saintly virtue) and Bucky.

And the fact that after his family died and his country devastated he would most likely have fixated on both the Avengers and the “concept” of a superhuman being as something to blame for his loss. His refusal to concede his position to Sam isn’t just arrogance, although that seems to be a part of it, but the fact that he has spent so much time and energy in destroying both the Winter Soldier program and most likely other similar operations, along with the Avengers that this hatred and belief in the danger has most likely become one of his core beliefs. To change this would be to question his vendetta against the Avengers, to question his actions against the Winter Soldier program which he knows was a horrible thing, and to question why he has spent the past seven years in maximum security prison. This isn’t something he is ready to do yet.

The fact that Bucky is a noted exception is something that stands out to me. Zemo knows that Bucky is a good person, regardless of the serum.

Bucky is also the only main character (that I can think of) that was injected with the serum against his will. The fact that he didn’t seek it out could quite likely be part of the reason that Zemo doesn’t look down on him for it - it is framed that the sort of person that seeks out that sort of strength/power would be a “supremacist”, someone who would use their abilities to harm and subjugate others.

And while we are at the apartment may I say how funny it is to see Zemo just. Literally being Sam and Bucky’s sugar daddy. He transports them and houses them and makes them fancy tea. It’s possible he’s providing them with clothes. Either way, love it. Cannot wait for the boys to work it out.

Sam and Lemar’s responses to being offered the serum are an interesting juxtaposition to how they view the concept of supersoldiers. They have both experienced hardship and survived war but Sam is the one that has gone up against Gods and monsters and he wants none of that, thank you.

And Lemar is so comfortable with saying yes because it isn’t actually being offered to him. Walker expresses some hesitation in their discussion because for him, it isn’t hypothetical. This is something real that can and will effect him for the rest of his life and he wants to make the “right decision”.

The return of Erskine’s belief that the serum not only effect the physical but the mental, emotional and (possibly?) spiritual. This isn’t something that’s really been touched on outside of The First Avenger and I liked that it turned up here. But the fact that it was the reason Walker felt comfortable taking the serum? Eww

The Dora Milaje kicking names and taking ass is super awesome. They are so incredibly skilled and have such amazing teamwork and are also super beautiful I love them

Sam and Bucky just. Watching. Enjoying the show. Absolute kings.

Zemo being the sneaky little sneak that he is :)

One one hand, Bucky losing his arm in the fight was very awesome. One the other hand, he has a long history of complicated bodily autonomy in relation to that arm so........ Neutral opinion it is then

Karli, honey, I really want to like you but can you please keep the mans family out of it. Okay?

And another thing that this show made me think about: kids left to fend for themselves after the Blip (uuuurrrggh it hate calling it that. stupid canonical name). I think it’s good that at least some people took it on themselves to take these children in, to give them good lives and families.

The way that Sam has incorporated his wings into his combat style is very cool

Okie dokie can’t avoid it forever lets get this over with.

LEMAR MY BEAUTIFUL SON NOOOO

those fuckers (the writers i mean)

Side note: did they really have to make the first main character death of the series a Black “sidekick” character? No. No they did not.

Side side note: I understand that this is a perfectly valid way (ew) to “advance the plot” but I can and will be annoyed about it

And now we really get into the shit. But...........................

As much as I absolutely unequivocally hate John Walker I actually like the thematic parallels of how they did this. All throughout The First Avenger Steve is adamant on how he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wants to stand up to the bullies. It’s only after Bucky dies that he says he wants to kill all the Nazis and really get into the horror of it all. The fact that John, who has absolutely been on the edge for the entire episode if not longer, only loses it after Lemar dies?

Because Lemar is arguably meant to be that stand-in for Bucky in the eyes of the public, and they are obviously close friends..........

Just -

I feel I may have accidentally been slightly nicer than I planned to Walker in this post. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

But C****** J*** W****** is NOT Captain America. Up until now I’ve been calling him “Fake Cap” in my head and to my family, but he doesn’t even deserve that honor.

And the blood on the Shield. Dear god that was horrible.

And the fact that, as it was pointed out in this very episode, this man fully represents everything that is Captain America, to the world. He isn’t only tarnishing his own legacy, he is also destroying Steve’s. And to some extent, Bucky’s. The whole reason that Bucky Barnes is considered a “Superhero” is because, at least in America he is known as “Cap’s Best Friend”. He was marketed that way for over half a century, and after the whole “Winter Solder” thing, goodwill or no, brainwashing or no, this could end very ugly for him. Not to mention that Steve Rogers is most likely to be forgotten to history in favor of this freak.

And on that note, where the fuck is Steve? This is set only 6 months after Endgame, if he had died we would know. So what the hell is he doing? Because I know he got perpetual brainrot going back in time to be str8 and boring but dear god if the show tries to tell me that he’s just chilling in some senior’s center in Alaska I will actually call bullshit. Steve Rogers would never. Okay this is a whole separate post on my thought on Steve. Watch this space I guess.

And while we’re all here, Bucky Barnes needs a goddamn boyfriend. I’ve done some thinking, and here is a compiled shortlist:

Sam

Zemo

De-aged Steve (he would be higher but I’m still mad at him for the whole “vanishing without a word to relive Jim Crow and the Lavender Scare. :/ )

IN THAT ORDER.

That’s all folks.

Feel free to send me asks if you want clarification or extra details on anything.

And finally -

the thing we all came to see:

FUCK

JOHN

WALKER

fin

#john walker #steve rogers #captain america #sam wilson #bucky barnes #helmut zemo #zemo #tfatws #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #karli morgenthau #dora milaje #tw blood #tw violence #tw death #cw racism #thats all folks

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zombieratt · 4 years

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Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

#dear evan hansen #deh #connor murphy #evan hansen #zoe murphy #musicals #broadway #deh rewrite i guess?#this is more like the outline of a fic i’ll never write #kd.txt #i was posessed to write this #tree bros

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kewltie · 4 years

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the idea that bakugou katsuki, a war hero and the empire's hound, is a man of great stature and even fiercer reputation of a volatile powder keg yet quite frankly so freaked out by izuku, HIS OWN HUSBAND, attempt of playing footsie that he broke a table IS SO HILARIOUS TO ME!! katsuki spend so long giving himself to his country and ppl and that HE literally had NO TIME for romance or like consider any romantic entanglement let alone think of the husband he left behind while he chase after new adventures; so yea he's a goddamn virgin lmao.

even when he's back home now his job as the empire's hound (which basically taking on tasks too dark and secretive that nobody can touch) means he running around the slums of the city to catch baddies so he's constantly hanging around other lowlifes SO HE GOT A BAD REPUTATION. a scoundrel and rake is what the rumors say about him and they all sigh pitifully when they spot izuku bc poor izuku, to have such a terrible no good husband hang around brothel houses :((( WHICH IS FUCKING FUNNY bc katsuki is devout in his marriage vows and also hello VIRGIN!! not that anyone know that, NOT EVEN IZUKU bc believe in katsuki's honor in their marriage but HE HEARD THE RUMORS and katsuki does keep v beautiful friends around (they're his informants lol) so izuku thought katsuki used to play around but now that's married he doesnt and wont.

so izuku GOT INTO HIS HEAD that katsuki is ~experience~ and prob had like a hundred lovers in the past while izuku is virginal and chaste and BORING so he tries v v hard to learn how to a good lover which means taking advice from racy romance books from his book club lmao. look, izuku is a quirk learner and HE'S always open to new experience and he's going to be a good husband and lover ok!!!!! so he's taking lesson to try to seduce katsuki and get his interest but he's so new at this he's afraid katsuki will laugh a him and find him lacking... so when he heard katsuki was hanging around one of the most famous oiran, a super high class prostitute, izuku IS SO JEALOUS bc how can izuku compare to such a beautiful and talented being??? so he thought he ramps up his game and tried for a footsie W KATSUKI BUT ????!!!

katsuki's reaction isn't to laugh and/or tease him about it but BROKE A DAMN TABLE as he reeled back and looked at him in shock and horror and izuku IS SOOO CONFUSED like???? did he do something ??? is that not how you play footsie??? OMG did he embarrassed himself?!! izuku thought he didn't come on strong enough, that his game was just too weak that it drove katsuki away which make izuku even more determine to be better next time! esp when he had the idea to meet up with the oiran and take a personal lesson on seducing his hubby lol. not knowing AT ALL that katsuki was internally SCREAMING ABOUT IT bc izuku, his super traditional and proper husband, just fucking ran his foot up katsuki's THIGH and he's did it all coolly like HE'S NOT FEELING KATSUKI UP UNDER THE TABLE AND AS;DJFAS;DJF. look, they're both dumb virgins who think the other is like some experience lover when in truth neither of them HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE AT ALL and they really aren't equipped to deal with any attempt of seduction/flirtation properly even though THEY'RE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER!!!!

i love the idea of clothes and accessories acting as symbolism and a state of mind. it's a constant theme in a lot of my fics - how and what you dress can set the tone of the entire space you occupied, sending a wordless message out into the world.

izuku normally dressed in traditional kimono all his life but when he left the countryside and moved into the city to be with katsuki where western influence have taken roots and many new western trends are popular right now, izuku starts to adapt and fashion is one of them. the shift from izuku's kimono to a western dress and pantsuits parallels his shift in perspective from the tradition views he hold and to new ideas brought by his new environment. though it doesn't mean everything old and tradition are bad while new things are all good!! izuku loves his kimonos and there's a history that come with them as they are handmade custom and pass down within his family so there's a lot of meanings and legacy to these old kimonos; news thing may offer a better insight but there's still a lot of value in tradition. like how in the first scene izuku decide to change his whole wardrobe to meet katsuki for lunch and how formal and austere he dressed, changing his demeanor as though he's putting on an armor. it's the way they make him feel stronger and confident that he may not feel otherwise. in that moment he fell back into his kimono, something he had known and grown up with all his life so it's the most comfortable for him and hold him up even when his doubts and insecurity weigh him down. this is the armor he chosen to wear when he's about to go to battle. the type and color of the kimono he wore, the way his hair is pinned and a certain hair accessory, and the mortif sewn into the kimono are all signs of his mood and how each is like a plate of armor on top of each other, layer and by layer building up his confident.

izuku lacks confident that much is clear esp when he'd pretty up uproot his whole life to move to the city to be with katsuki and uphold his place as katsuki's husband. he knows he's lacking in this strange new environment so his only defense mechanism is to fall back on old ways. izuku wants to be firm when he see katsuki and by dressing in that austere and cold formality of the kimono with dark colors and phoenix motif his message is that he wont be subdued by w/e katsuki say; and he says it w/o ever having to say a single word :P

izuku is really obsessed w being a good spouse, omega, and fulfilling his duty bc that's all he has ever been taught and that's how he measure his own worth. if he's not being upholding the honor and prestige of the background household,,, what use is he then? he's so desperate to be that 'good spouse' who doesn't complain, who doesnt question, and who doesn't fail at any task given to him that he come off as this unfeeling and obedience doll who only know how to stay faithful at his husband's feet which isn't izuku at all. we know he's endlessly curious, ravenous for knowledge and new ideas, reckless to a fault, and so v v v kind that it can hurt him but those aren't necessary quality for a spouse of a future duke so he squashed it and put up pretense of a more poise, charming, and compose person. which few even see through his mask BUT ofc katsuki eventually does and he hates when izuku puts up a front and hide his true feelings from him and that's where their first argument come from. IZUKU BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT HIM and katsuki telling to GET MAD, YELL AT HIM, ETC he rather izuku be real with him then having to face this smiling doll who only know how to carefully chose his words and say things he doesnt really mean when he want izuku to poke and prod and get angry and emotional at him bc he knows underneath that smile is a cat w claws lol. at the end of it izuku only wants to be included in katsuki's world bc his job is v v v important to him and to be on the outside and hearing rumors and stories of what katsuki is doing and not actually a part of it hurts izuku deeply bc they're married and in this together!! katsuki prefers to keep izuku from the ugly side of his job bc well it's dangerous and there's a unsightly things he doesnt want izuku to see and/or exp but izuku, wants to bear katsuki's burden too so he doesn't have to go at this alone!! marriage is partnership after all.

it's an interesting dynamic of where izuku keeps pushing more from katsuki and katsuki being a closed of jerk about it trying to keep a distance bc he has no time to entertain a relationship bc OF HIS V IMPORTANT JOB even tho they're already marry but izuku is persistence lol. they're going to keep this whole push and pull dynamic till one of them give which is going to be long ass time bc they're both stubborn lol but izuku didn't literally MOVED HIS ENTIRE life to be w katsuki to settle just for marriage w him, he's going to win katsuki's heart also!

#on writing #regency a/b/o au

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bangtan-spells · 6 years

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Jungkook Scenario: Rumor Has It - Part 2.

Request: Can I request Jungkook Rumors has it pt 2. Y/N agrees to be in relationships w/Jungkook but asked to keep it a secret so ppl wont gossip.Jungkook doesn't know what to do so he ended up treat you a bit poorly at work so ppl wouldn't figured out. you misinterpreted think you were right about Jungkook is just playing w/u. So on the company's party night when a guy asked you whether you have a boyfriend, you just said no. Jungkook overheard it and got mad.

Part 1.

Genre: Romance.

Not only had you accepted going on a date with Jungkook that one time, but you were now actually seeing the guy regularly. Jungkook, you thought, wasn’t as bad as you had deemed him to be, the thing was he was both a devil and a gentlemen which made him a deadly combination you hadn’t been able to resist. You were dating your boss under everyone’s noses and that fact made you both nervous and excited as you could be. Just last night you had given him the definite green light but you had insisted in keeping it a secret from everyone as you didn’t want your relationship to be in the way of your work or to create more unnecessary gossip, to this Jungkook agreed rather reluctantly, he seemed not to care too much about that but then Jungkook was more of the reckless type, not at all like you.

The vultures kept their eyes open on your every move as always, since they had always had the thought of you doing some funny business with Jungkook their behavior hadn’t changed much, which meant you needed to be extra careful.

Jungkook walked past your section as every morning, handsome as ever in his suit, he nodded formally at everyone stopping just for a split of a second near your desk to then greet again with a casual “good morning” and then kept going. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss the sly smirks and the special attention that at the beginning bothered you. How things changed so quickly, you barely could believe it, but then keeping it discreet was for the better, it would made you uncomfortable being talked about more than necessary.

-Y/N- one of the vultures, a woman named Sonhye talked to you at mid morning. -Have your report ready, I’ll deliver it to Mr Jeon-

You frowned a little wondering what was happening, usually you were the one handing the printed reports, as requested of Jungkook himself, so her handing them now made no sense. -I thought…-

-I will be delivering them from now on- she said proudly like it was a big achievement. You nodded, if you opposed then they would talk shit about you, damn they would even say you were jealous, which you weren’t.

-Sure-

It bothered you a little, but you decided to not think much into it and keep on as if nothing. You were walking to the elevator to go out and buy something to eat for lunch break when you felt a hand grab your arms, and next thing was you being pulled to a little meeting room you had never been before. Jungkook smirked at your surprised stare and leaned down so his face was closer to yours. -Good morning-

-Hi- you said not helping your smile. -Was that necessary?-

-Very much so- he answered kissing your cheek, sneaking his arms around you.

You hugged him too, you didn’t see him since last night but the feeling of his body close to yours once again felt too good. You had been “dating” for three months now and things were getting more intimate each time, you still have not had sex, but the desire was there, on both sides. You felt his hands massaging your waist and back and his lips kissing their way from your cheek to your lips. Jungkook was reckless. Which was why you has asked him to be more careful.

-We can’t- you said pecking him but creating some distance. -Not here, remember what we talked about-

-Is that really important?-

-It is, for me, in my position it is- you stated firmly

Jungkook straightened his back, pulling apart but not entirely letting go of you, he nodded. -Alright, I do whatever you want, you see, and you think so bad of me Y/N-

You laughed at his fake victim tone which made him laugh too. -Please, let’s… let’s take things slower-

He seemed taken aback. -I thought everything was fine?-

-It is but… let’s just take things slow, ok? Remember what we talked about-

-Y/N, I know but…-

You didn’t let him finish, remembering you had limited time on break and god only knew what could happen if anyone came in or found out you were sneaking on rooms with the boss. -I have to go, ok? I have work to do-

Jungkook nodded and you went out of the room, almost escaping from him, you didn’t even understood yourself anymore.

You had a very busy schedule that week and the next that followed, Jungkook even had to fly to Daegu two times for meetings so you had practically not seen each other after that last encounter. You thought everything was fine, but then a sour feeling installed on your gut, what if Jungkook was playing you all this time and you were just believing his lies?

You had told him to be more discreet, but now he didn’t ask you for your opinion like he used to, now it was Sonhye the one always treating with him going to his office and whatnot. Sonhye was way older than the two of you, you didn’t know if married or divorced, but what if… You shook your head, reorganizing your desk, you were thinking crazy now. Over Jungkook, he was the one crazy, not you. You had the job to be the rational one in this relationship. But was this even a relationship?

You had accepted the dating, but you had not talked about anything further than that, dating meant you were his girlfriend? He had not used that word, he had never referred to you as such, he had not asked you. You wanted to smack yourself with the stapler, you were a fool. Maybe he was just waiting to take you to bed. That thought made your stomach drop, because despite everything you had started to feel something for him, you had cared about him. You had thought maybe he felt the same way, but now, you weren’t sure of anything anymore.

And to add more to your inner fight he walked past your section, dashing in a dark grey suit, you almost jumped on your seat, you had not seen each other all day or talked too much and truth was you missed all the attention. But this time Jungkook didn’t even spare a glance to the editorial section, walked past as if nothing, not minding even you.

Jungkook talked to you that night as most nights on whatsapp, it was your main way of communication but you had not said anything about your thoughts maybe waiting for him to say something, or maybe of you being afraid. Jungkook seemed to be treating everything casually and that angered you, it angered you because you had done the exact same thing you said you wouldn’t some months ago, fall into his charms like a silly girl. You had wanted tot think Jungkook was the man that you were needing in your life, for a moment you truly believed it as you two not only had good chemistry and liked each other physically, but in other aspects your thought he was the one for you. Now you couldn’t say that was the case.

To top it all now you had the news the company was launching a party for the project you were working for, of course you were happy of the success and that meant Jungkook’s meeting’s had gone well, but it made you a little sad that you weren’t as involved as before. You had asked for it, for things to be more discreet, but that meant being excluded or not giving you your place? You didn’t think so, and it hurt because you cared about him, much more than you would like.

Will I see you tonight at the party?

You read his text and sighed, of course you would. A part of you wanted to skip the whole event entirely, the other part was resentful of not going with him. But that would be a scandal for sure.

I’ll be there

Nice, I’ve missed you Y/N

Your heart jumped, he said things like that and you just felt happier. But what did he miss? It was you and the constant flirtatious bickering, the little games, or maybe something more?

Me too, see you there Mr Jeon.

You called him that to mess with him, since he always insisted in you calling him Jungkook. But then it was the appropriate way to address him at the party, after all you’d have to act as boss and employee and nothing more.

We will have a talk about your ways later Miss Y/N.

You got to the party by yourself, you could bring a plus one, a date, but the only person who could serve as that was the main host of the party and your boss, so that was a no. You guessed you could have told a friend but it was better to come alone, so if things weren’t looking up you could just leave early. Nevertheless you had put all the extra effort to look good for tonight. A bordeaux dress that had cleavage enough to be sexy but still suitable for a company event, it hugged your body in all the right places and you paired it with strap black heels. You let your hair loose and straight and used glowy makeup being the center of attention your lips, also in bordeaux.

You greeted people as you were walking into the salon, the party was held in the event center of the building, everything was decorated perfectly and you could feel the luxury even in the canapés and champagne flying around. You saw the vultures, three of them with companions, one alone but still with the group, you greeted them politely but didn’t stay long enough, you had given them enough of a close up for them to talk about your look, or try to, since you were sure you looked impeccable tonight.

Then there was the time for the opening speech, everyone gathered to watch, to hear Jeon Jungkook talk about the new venture with a huge company from Daegu, the deal had been closed this week and it appeared to be promising for the magazine. You were happy for him, you wished you could celebrate this together, the thought of you proposing something like it crossed your mind but then you didn’t know if that would be too much.

Beside Jungkook were another executives from the magazine and the Daegu team, led by another young man close to Jungkook’s age. You noted he was also quite handsome, but your eyes were just for Jungkook. Incredibly handsome in his all black suit, his fair skin seemed to glow, his eyes shone, he was happy about this success.

Jungkook proposed a toast that everyone joined raising their glasses, including you who couldn’t stop staring at him, Jungkook saw you then, fixing his eyes on you as he drank. You smiled and shook your head after drinking, clapping when everyone did to then turn around. At last he had looked at you and he got you all giddy, you needed to do something with all these feelings, but what could you do?

You turned and left the empty glass on a table to then feel a hand on your shoulder, you knew it was him, you turned back and there he was, the man of the night looking at you.

-Y/N- he smiled. -Sorry, I’ve been busy with all this-

You shook your head. -It’s ok, I’m happy for the new business, congratulations-

-Yeah, I hadn’t told you because…-

-It’s ok Jungkook, you didn’t have to-

At that moment another man, the same one that was standing with him during the speech approached you, he was indeed very handsome and you wished you could have focused more on that than on your struggling feelings for Jungkook.

-Y/N, I have to introduce you to our new business partner, Kim Taehyung-

You bowed and smiled. -Thank you for working with us-

Taehyung smiled. -Pleasure is mine-

-Taehyung, this is Y/N, she is…- Jungkook cleared his throat looking at you unsure of what to call you. But then there wasn’t anything you could call your relationship, not really. You thought that was fine for you, and to some point it still was, but the thing was you had discovered the label, the definition was more important than you had initially thought. You cared for it and you cared for Jungkook, or else you wouldn’t be feeling as hurt for such a meaningless detail. -One of our finest, the best editor we have-

You shook your head smiling politely. -Mr Jeon thinks too highly of me Mr Kim, I do work my best-

Taehyung smiled again. -I’m sure of it if my friend says it- he patted Jungkook’s back. -But call me Taehyung, no need to be so formal at a party-

You smiled a bit flustered not sure about what to say so you kept silent, feeling Jungkook’s eyes on you was proving to be nerve-wracking enough, but when you were to look at him he avoided your glance.

-I see you don’t have a glass- Jungkook said to the two of you. -I’ll look for them, we should… celebrate-

-Thanks Jungkook, very nice, if only you were as nice discussing costs-

Jungkook laughed as loud as Taehyung. -Business are business- he said before walking away.

You were bit uncomfortable not knowing how to treat the new business partner of the company, if you should stay there or you should just go somewhere else and not interrupt. Perhaps you just had to go home and call it a night.

-So Y/N, how do you like these events?-

You laughed lightly. -Not so much to be honest, my place is writing, this is good for the company though-

-Right- he smiled. -I have to say I like them, but I get that everyone feels at ease in different places-

-Yes, not everyone understands that-

Taehyung gave you a knowing look and then continued doing the same as you, looking at the people at the party from afar, sometimes throwing a little glance to the side, to you.

-I… I don’t mean to be intrusive but… I see you are alone- he chuckled a little. -Sorry, I just thought you might be with your boyfriend or… husband?-

You laughed to not say the first thing that came to your mind. That you were screwed in that department. -I don’t have a boyfriend, that’s the reason-

-Outrageous- he laughed.

You were thinking if he was seriously flirting with you or not when you heard a throat being cleared. Both of your turned to Jungkook who had returned with the glasses of champagne and had a completely different look. If before he was being friendly and charming now he looked like he was forcing himself to be, at the defensive.

-Here you have- he said handing Taehyung his glass and then placed yours on a nearby table. -Do you mind if I… steal Y/N for a minute?-

Taehyung drank from his glass and lifted his shoudlers. -By all means-

You frowned not liking you not being included in whether you should be stolen or not, but then you figured right now your opinion didn't matter as Jungkook took your hand and started to practically drag you out of the party.

You had to rush your steps to keep up with him and he wasn’t giving away anything as much as you asked.

-Jungkook, what is this? Can you please let go of me? hey!-

He guided you outside, towards the parking lot, where you two were completely alone. He then stopped but kept his grip on your wrist just for a few more seconds before letting go of you.

-What is this about?- you asked a bit angry about him acting so aggressive all of the sudden.

Jungkook licked his lips, he had his hands on his waist so his chest looked even broader, you could see he was worked up by his breathing, but you didn’t understand why.

-Jungkook-

-So when were you going to tell me?-

-Tell you what?-

-That you…-he huffed. -That you broke up with me, you dont’ want this-

-What?- now this was outrageous. -Jungkook I don’t understand-

-I heard what you said to Taehyung, is that what you have been saying to the guys that talk to you? That you don’t have a boyfriend?-

You couldn’t believe it. -Jungkook, I told him that because that’s the truth, you and me, we, we have something but…-

-But what? I thought everything was ok-

-Ok?- you snorted. -Jungkook you barely… you changed the way you treated me, since we started this you changed, you don’t ask for my opinion anymore, you prefer Sonhye bringing you the reports, you don’t even greet me in front of people-

-Because you asked me to- he answered confused. -You said you wanted to go slower, you needed space so I gave you that-

So that was what translated “space” for him? You were starting to see all this was a misinterpretation on both sides but you still felt stubborn, on feeling ignored, on him not formalizing your relationship.

-Space doesn’t mean you ignoring me-

Jungkook sighed moving his hands in frustration. -When have I done that? Never, since you started to work there I’ve been crazy over you, trying to get your attention, you didn’t like it so backed off to not bother you and now you say I’m ignoring you-

You bit your lip, that sounded about right, you had to admit you had been rather ambiguous with your requests, but it was due to the fact of your own doubts and fears, doubting if you should really get on into a relationship with him, fearing what people might say. Jungkook had been thick headed to see it but you hadn’t helped either.

-You said you didn’t want people to know, and I complied- he continued. -You said we should go slow and I don’t mind that Y/N, I don’t if that would make you trust me, but then you go and say that you…-

-I’m sorry- you interrupted him. -I’m sorry, ok?- that fazed him and you sighed crossing your arms, feeling your cheeks burning. -I just… I let myself get away with what people would say, because I’m not your girlfriend-

-But you are my girlfriend- he retorted instantly.

You smiled out of nerves and incredulity. -Since when? We have not talked about that-

-Since… since we started to go out more serious-

-But how could I know that? To some people that doesn’t mean anything-

-To me it does-

-Then why you didn’t ask?- you went again getting on your nerves.

-So you want to be my girlfriend?-

-Jungkook seriously I…- you couldn’t believe now he was the one being this slow.

-No, sorry, I said that wrong- he went closer to you until he could touch you. -Y/N, I don’t care about what people would think or say, I can wait as long as it is necessary for you to see that you can trust me, to see that I care, that his isn’t a game I’m playing- his squeezed your hands and you were trying hard to fight your nerves and your scandalous heart that wanted to go out of your chest. -I should have planned this differently, but this can’t wait no more, I would go crazy if anyone thinks they have their free way to you- he let go one of your hands to caress your cheek making you inhale deeply. -Would you be my girlfriend? Mine no matter what anyone says-

-Yes- you breathed not being able to hold it, to drag this moment or the magnetic attraction between your lips now on top of each other, you held to him coiling your arms around his neck while he kept a hand on your cheek and the other held you tight by your waist pulling you more to him. Your lips were moving and nipping until you gave him space for his tongue to play with yours, you had missed him kissing you so tremendously you let out a little moan that got Jungkook more eager to devour your mouth, to press you to his body and move his hands, one to your small back, the other ran down your side to your hip where he squeezed and this time it was him letting out a faint groan that got you feeling your body on fire.

-I don’t care about what people say Y/N, and for your job, you don’t need to worry- he said as bite your lower lip and then kissed your jaw, his lips moving to your neck. -I’m crazy about you Y/N-

-Jungkook- you exhaled his name as he kissed his way up to your lips again.

-I’m serious, I want nothing more than to go inside that party and tell everyone you are my girlfriend, scream it to the world, hell, tell everyone you are my woman-

You stopped to look at him after he said that, to see if it was just the heat of the moment, how many doubts you still had of him? You kissed his lips making a decision then, to trust him, to trust in what you were feeling.

-Do it then- you said searching for his hand to lace your fingers. -I fell for you too Jungkook-

He smiled wide, so much, his eyes shone and it made you laugh how happy he was with your confession. -Jungkook!- you screamed his name when he took your off the floor, hugging too high and tight, he kissed you again before he let you down. -Let’s go- he said taking your hand again, you looked at his eyes and nodded, squeezing that hand as you walked together to the party.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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yall ive had some shit this shift...i got lectured and vaguely threatened for having to pee a lot which was coz i drink stuff thruout the day like coffee and tea which is Pee City and since ive been on deliveries steadily all day ill be gone on that for ages and have to pee when i get back as well as the other shit i do. like i was literally this afternoon joking w coworkers who are actually cool to me abt how i can be at work for hours before people who have been in the store the whole tkme will realize im even there coz im a) out on deliveries most of the time, like for real if its a busy lunch period i can be at work for 2-3 hrs and actually be in the store 10-20 min and b) when im here im moving around actually doing shit and people have always been saying how its hard to get ahold of me coz im always going around doing shit and thats another reason people dont realize im here and c) people just dont notice me so like today my freakin bad i had to pee a lot coz my only comforting routine in this place besides constant disassociation is working my way thru a drink and i happen to like both coffee and tea even tho it does make me pee and sometimes i get the coffee dumps, truth. so today since ive been in and out on deliveries the whole time and i havent been talking to anyone since none of the people who notice me were much here and since ive been moving around the store since im actually doing shit, i get yelled at for using the bathroom too much.... like i get the issue of people who give themselves Bathroom Breaks which realistically we all do but sometimes people do it too long or whatever and like yeah while im taking a shit i will check my twitter or make a shitpost or something, like we all use our phones throughout the day including the managers and im not gonna feel bad for doing that but i am not thrilled w being accused of using the bathroom needlessly when im using it coz i need to use it....and like not like i can prove im peeing every time coz i'd be glad to give you a urine sample every time but they prob dont want that.... anyways whats real good is how i was just talking the other day about how this one delivery driver who's been here forever and was just given like acknowledgement for being a good employee, i was talking w someone about how like he doesn't actually do shit, and i was like i try desperately to ignore him but now that you mention it i never see him doing anything really? and like if you ask him to do some basic shit we're Supposed to do he wont or he'll ask someone else to do it. and today he was here and when we were slow and i was like washing tables and taking dishes and making coffee I actually paid attention to him and he definitely would just like stand by the computer even tho we had no new orders and then walk to a different spot and then go back to the computer and then walk energetically somewhere else and i think a couple times i saw him carry a few dishes to the sinks. and he's fine and im doing shit and getting lectured for causing issue for not doing my work like granted this was from the same manager who once made me mad for getting on me for Slacking Off coz i was leaning on the bread slicer, which i was leaning on coz i was trying to read the order info on the computer next to it, and was also happy about because i was doing a lot of work that day more than even usual. and another driver complained about her doing that exact same thing aka complaining about Leaning when the driver had been working hard and i was like yep ive had that happen too like now i essentially cant use the bathroom because the fact that i keep myself busy means that most people, who have a tendency to not notice my presence even if i AM standing right there, legit dont know im there and nobody sees me doing any work coz they dont see me coz im doing god damn work........ im annoyed coz like i can think of maybe seven other employees who distinctly notice me and are cool with me and im cool with them, and most other employees are fine and decent to me and stuff but theres a couple people who are shitty including this one guy who just now was talking with this dude who i thought was a decent guy? and they were kind of making fun of me and i went up to the decent guy like hey i was actually right over there and totally heard you guys, coz i was not in the mood, and he just brushed me off and i was like fantastic. plus for some reason the manager who fussed at me decided to do it all formally right before i had to go on a delivery, and so i didnt get enough time to say everything on my mind about my Problems with the fact that this was occurring which i was absolutely going to do in full on account of i think its bullshit and im no longer in the mood in my general life to act like i think that kind of bs is warranted, but before i could talk about it long enough i felt like id said everything i wanted to, she was like ok u gotta go on the delivery and im like you still havent given me that $60 you forgot to cash me out and you're allowed to say what you want and i cant respond? i get that mgmt is bullshit and i had just been talkingn about how mgmt is bs a couple days ago but i just dont care for me personally i am going to answer back. and because of being abused all my life a lot of times i have an automatic response to these kind of situations where i try to speak back and the stress just naturally makes me cry and then i gotta be like sorry im crying its a physiological reflex i earned for being alive. and now that you rushed me out to make a delivery i have to be trying not to cry at work, and extend my cryish period by having to try holding it back, and also extend it on account of im still got damnt pissed about it like god knows im not one to praise myself beyond reason but im a good worker here and ironically that means people might not ever notice it and I've definitely never heard a good word from management about anything i do since i dont even know when and instead i get in trouble coz one day i have to pee, coz other days i also have to pee coz i have established one comforting habit to get through customer service bs where i get weird treatment from other coworkers at least once a day usually and sometimes dont even have a work friend around and so my fucking bad i have coffee i guess like apparently my fuckin problem is that im both quiet almost all the time and keep to myself but also sometimes joke with people or say something to them at all just to be nice coz other coworkers are quiet and dont get shit from people or are always in a less than warm mood and dont get shit about it. i close tomorrow aka there for 10-11 hrs but at least a coworker im work friends with and who has a similar demeanor is around for most of it or i swear to christ. hopefully i ever deliver to someplace with a fucking bathroom coz i guess i cant god damn use ours anymore without being monitored coz im not a good enough worker natcho like i just dont know how im supposed to have my bladder on trial and if managers are only noticing that i pee more than them and not that i do work all day and extend myself to help out when things get dicey, well then like if nobody sees it i sure dont have proof i did it other that remember that time we had a massive dinner rush and i stayed an hr past my shift and was not only the sole person taking food to the tables but also taking dishes back and washing tables and restocking junk in the dining room, no you don't remember because nobody was working beside me and so as far as everyone else knows i did nothing and so anyways too theres nothing for someone with anxiety who worries about being monitored and judged like telling me ive been monitored and judged and now i cant pee anymore, that'll teach me to give myself one nice thing thru-out the day. i also dont have anything to rely on to comfort me after something shitty at work and tragically work is most of my socialization and most of the only thing i "do" and i feel like im being treated kind of crap for the fact that i do put in effort every day to be helpful around there. like thanks that i have to bite the inside of my mouth now coz im trying not to stress / angry cry coz i have nowhere to put it. like i dont care if this manager thinks this shit is part of the job like i deal with enough shit in life right now to Not be angry about this. like boy you guys are really making it hard to think about having to leave this store when i haul off to a different area in just a bit and i honestly dont know about the fact that some people especially this one guy who is just a dick to like everybody keep saying shit comments about me coz they cant see me and im like fuck off. like im honestly sick of it and im sitting on the fact that this dude also has said racist crap ive been an audio witness too and said something racist about a coworker to her face and she told me about it like. management is part of what i'm mad at right now but if im getting narced on for the fact coffee and tea go right thru me then i think i have a complaint here whenever the next time he says some shit is like when i'm here i honestly keep to myself and try to be doing work whenever we need work done and apparently thats why im now getting shit and sorry this post exists and is so long but im real peeved and the only way to put a long rant from me about shit anywhere is to put it here

#long post //

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