#the way the textures are stored is. a bit fucked

[unusedcactus]

i have found a conversion of the marathon 1 textures to the aleph one format.

(and the discussion page the link was from)

#the way the textures are stored is. a bit fucked #there are enemy textures in wall texture locations. there are wall textures in enemy texture locations #i have to search for the pfhor textures. they're lost in shapeFusion #marathon #marathon game

[crustgremlin]

How to start a pair of punk patch pants

(a potentially really shitty tutorial)

I've seen a couple videos on this but a lot of them seem to skip out on some really key information and tricks so I thought I'd just write a probably really long and really rambly post about it!!!

Step one: gathering supplies

In terms of supplies the main things you'll need are:

The pants

Approximately 4 rolls of dental floss (this can change depending on number of patches and your pant size)

A needle with a big enough eye to fit the floss through

Acrylic paints

Brushes

Scrap denim or other scraps of fabric for the patches

Pins

Some kind of marker or pencil that will work on the fabric you've chosen

I will be going into some detail below about why you need each of these items!!

The pants themselves

personally I prefer either using a pair of jeans I already own or thrifting a pair to be as sustainable as possible, however if you really need to go out and buy a new pair for whatever reason get a high quality pair, this will help in the long run with preventing them from falling apart as easily.

The second main point I want to make is that the pants should not be skinny jeans. This is because when you sew on patches it slightly cinches in the fabric, and with skinny jeans generally being stretchy, this is going to result in the thread of the patches stretching out and snapping. Your patches will all just start falling off and it'll ruin your hard work.

This is why I'd recommend using a pair of jeans or pants that are a bit looser of a fit, such as straight legged pants or a pair of pants a size up from your actual size if possible!

Dental floss

The reason it's generally suggested to use dental floss rather than actual thread is because dental floss tends to overall be a lot stronger than your average thread, as well as often being more easily accessible to buy.

Needle

This ones pretty self-explanatory, just make sure you get a needle with a long/wide enough eye (the hole the thread goes through) for your floss to be able to fit through without trouble.

Acrylic paints

You may be wondering why I'm suggesting acrylics over fabric paints and there are a few reasons!

The first is simply that they're both cheaper and far easier to purchase for the average person than fabric paints, and I want this tutorial to be as accessible as possible for as many people as possible.

The second reason is that fabric paints require a lot of fucking around with setting the paint, whereas acrylics can just be left to dry and be finished, and so long as your pants are hand washed, the paints won't come out (unless you layer it on super thick or are really rough when you clean them).

Brushes

Another pretty obvious one, these are needed so you can actually paint your patches!!!

Fabric/spare denim

You need fabric or scraps to be able to actually create patches for your pants, so this is essential.

Any kind of scrap fabric can do, a lot of fabric stores tend to have bins of scrap fabric that are either pre-priced or priced by weight and that can be a really good opportunity to acquire the fabric you need!

Another way (the method I tend to use) is thrifting a few pairs of jeans alongside the pair I want to patch and then ripping them up into patch-sized pieces!

Either way, I really advise against buying straight up new fabrics by the metre for this as it kinda goes against the entire idea of sustainability and reuse.

A really big tip I have for when you're cutting the fabric of your choice up for patches is to actually only cut a little slit, and then rip. This produces a really nice distressed edge and will help add some texture and more of a fucked up look to your pants a lot quicker than if you waited for the fabric to fray by itself!

Marker/pencil

This is literally just so you can draw your designs onto your patches! I've personally found that either a black or white (depending on how dark the fabric you're using is) pastel pencil is generally good enough to get the general gist of what you want down well enough for you to paint it on.

Pins

These are literally just to hold your patches in place and literally any kind from proper sewing pins to safety pins will work! (just don't forget they're in the jeans before you put them on I promise you it isn't fun to put on a pair of jeans full of pins).

Optional: a sketchbook

You may want a sketchbook or alternatively scraps of paper if you have any kind of original concept for a patch so you can draw it out a few times first to really nail it, and it's also helpful to have if you aren't as confident in your painting and drawing abilities!

Step two: patch making

I personally pre-rip/cut all of my patches before I paint anything on them generally speaking and then fit whatever design I want onto whatever piece I think it would fit on, however if you want to paint your patches and then rip/cut the design out that's also an option (and probably a much smarter one I'm just incredibly stubborn).

For punk pants you want a good mix of both punk bands, politics, and also maybe something a bit daft (I have the "he scream at he own ass" possum on the back pocket of a patched skirt for example). If you don't have bands and such, it kinda defeats the point of them being punk patched pants.

I personally generally pick a theme (eg. colourful patches, all black and white) when making anything patched because I think it makes everything look a bit more cohesive, but that is by no means a rule you actually have to follow I'm just autistic a fuck tbh.

Step three: the assembly

I personally put my main/bigger patches on first and put them on in a few different places until I get the placement I like, and then sew them on with the floss like this:

The main thing you want to do to make sure your pants don't wind up looking a bit weird or bare is to fill in any gaps between your painted patches with small, blank patches. Like this:

and that's pretty much it!!! I can't really explain via written text how to sew and how I personally tie off etc but if anyone would like a video tutorial lmk!!!

#punk #alternative #cripple punk #queer punk #diy or die #punk patches #diy punk #punk diy #patched pants #crust pants #patched skirt #punk skirt #crust skirt #punk pants #crust punk #punk style #punk fashion #punk culture

[headspace-hotel]

The day before yesterday I got to try a ripe pawpaw for the first time.

Someone else was supposed to come in at the center, but I was in the mood to be alone, so I fucked off into the woods at the earliest available opportunity, looking to collect more hickory nuts.

I hiked about two miles down the trail, seeking to find a little-used path as far from the center as I could reasonably make it. I was five or ten minutes down a fork in the path heading down a valley when I unexpectedly smelled something familiar: the scent of ripe pawpaws. I only knew that scent from having come upon a rotten one several days back on the trail.

I had seen pawpaw trees on the way up, but I looked around and saw nothing. I indulged a beast-like impulse: I sniffed. I turned until I was facing the direction of the scent and moved towards it. And I saw, about 50 feet away down the hillside below...a pawpaw grove

Some interesting facts about pawpaws:

The pawpaw is the largest fruit native to North America, known for its "tropical" flavor. Despite being reputed to be delicious, it is not found in grocery stores due to the fruits being far too delicate to ship without spoiling. A few people farm them, but otherwise the only way to get one is to come upon one growing wild, which is rare, because the opossums love them.

Pawpaw trees are hard to grow and take 10-15 years to produce fruit, but you can see wild ones in mature and well managed woods of Kentucky. They are small, barely trees, only about 15-20 feet tall, with trunks only a bit bigger around than a circle you can make with your index finger and thumb. They almost always grow in clonal colonies, groups of many trees that are all clones of each other due to being propagated from the roots of existing trees. They are also strictly understory trees, growing in the shade of much larger trees.

Now, an interesting fact about Eastern Kentucky: At the fringe of Appalachia, and even into parts of the Outer Bluegrass, the terrain frequently turns into very steep rolling hills.

It's hard to notice if you are in more cultivated areas that have been leveled out more, but in wilder parts you can seldom just casually walk in a straight line through the woods. Unless you are following the contour of the hills, you are either sliding and gripping saplings to slow your descent or you are climbing on all fours.

Such was the hill below me, descending at roughly a fifty-degree angle into the pawpaw grove.

I was going to get me some fucking pawpaws.

I climb down the hill by a combination of scooting, sliding, and scrabbling. After a few minutes of struggle I am standing in the pawpaw grove, alone, scanning the branches with my eyes.

The ground is littered everywhere with pawpaws, some very rotten. I see only two or three fruits remaining in the trees, and I walk around giving each tree a good shake, thinking to myself about how this is certainly an experience shared by millions of years' worth of primate ancestors before me.

After nearly ten minutes of (literally) fruitless tree-shaking, I start to eye the fallen pawpaws on the ground around me.

Some of them are perfectly fine-looking. The skin hasn't even been broken into. I pick one up.

It is very soft, but not squishy like something rotten. It is about as long as my index finger (my hands are small) and oblong. Its smooth skin is pale green and spotted with brown like a very ripe banana. I tear the skin back and give the creamy orange insides a test lick.

Friends.

It was transcendent.

Imagine the most perfect ripe mango, but with a flavor that is more banana-like, mellow and creamy and mild instead of tangy. The texture is perfectly smooth and soft unlike any other fruit. You can lick it and it will just melt in your mouth.

I am autistic and a very picky eater due to the difficult textures of many foods, and this fruit has the perfect texture. Mangos are already one of my favorite foods and this is somehow even better. I remember, deliriously, that farmers are seeking to improve pawpaws for possible commercial production, and it seems like the height of foolishness there in the pawpaw grove. There is no possible way wild pawpaws could be improved. All of creation is tainted by the Fall of Man, except for fucking pawpaws, because they are beyond the earthly tier of fruits.

I lick it like a dog going crazy on a Kong full of peanut butter until it falls apart in my hands and start scanning the ground for another.

They are all perfectly ripe and mostly untouched by bugs or creatures. I start just squishing them in my hands and licking the creamy insides. I am just planting my face in these fruits like some kind of animal. My face and hands are covered in pawpaw squish.

I go through like ten of them before returning to my senses. I've been thoughtlessly wiping my hands on my pants, and they are now more soiled than the clothes of the messiest toddler. I feel primal and connected to my ancestors. I have truly earned my Primate Card.

My mom said in the car that I smelled very strongly of something (pawpaws) so it's safe to say that literally every person I passed on the way back down the trail got a good whiff too, and likely connected it to the Pawpaw Squish that was basically all over me.

Regrets: None

#nature #fruits #pawpaw

[heizlut]

Overstim/medical kink for albedo? :>

i am on my KNEES for albedo. anything he wants from me i'll be like "yes, sir, daddy, sir🫡" let's make this a lil part 2 of Being Albedo's Assistant shall we?

Being Albedo's Assistant part 2

cw: medical play, body/pussy inspection, overstimulation, slight belly bulge, squirting, creampie, praise

tags: sub fem! reader, soft dom! albedo, he gives a bit of yandere vibes at the end hehe, mostly proofread

nsfw under the cut

m!list here

˖⭒☾˳·˖✶ ˖⭒☾˳·˖✶ ˖⭒☾˳·˖✶ ˖⭒☾˳

It was safe to say your relationship with Albedo had changed for the better since the day he experimented on you, fucking his cock into your sweet pussy for the first time a few days ago. You were giddy as you made your way back up through Dragonspine and into his camp. Albedo had contacted you that morning asking if you would help him with another study on the human body.

Albedo turns his head to the camp entrance when he hears the sound of your footsteps crunching in the snow. A ghost of a smile plays on his lips when you enter, "I'm glad to see you made it safe." You try hard not to blush as images of the last time he experimented with you flashed through you head, "I always do. Don't worry about me so much..." Albedo breaths out a small chuckle, "It's hard not to worry when you're so much more than an assistant to me." Now you're really blushing. Albedo was always straightforward with his words and yet you remained flustered every time he spoke his mind.

He beckons you to him and taps the lab table in front of him, "Come and sit." Your heart and mind races as you wonder what he has in store for you this time. You hoist yourself up onto the table, careful to not knock anything over. Albedo slots himself between your legs and look up at you, "I would like to check over your body and see if there have been any changes since the last time." With him between your legs like that, your poor pussy was throbbing for attention, "What should I do then?" His fingers reach for the hem of your shirt, "Lift up your arms."

Of course you obey, lifting your arms as Albedo removes your shirt and places it nicely behind you on the table. His eyes take in the cute lacy bra you chose to wear and he almost smiles as he looks back up at you, "Interesting choice..." If it weren't for the lilt in his voice, you would think he was mocking you. Albedo runs his fingers across the fabric, taking in the textured feeling, "I like this." You bite your lip, wanting more stimulation, "I wore it for you..." He raises an eyebrow at that, "Hmm..." He pauses for a second then speaks again, "Take it off."

Your breath catches at his words. He wasn't saying it in a domineering or demanding way, but the straightforwardness got to you once again. You undo the clasps on the back of the bra and let it fall forward, then set it aside. Albedo studies your breasts for a moment, intrigued with the way your nipples harden from the cold air that wisped through the entrance of the campsite. His gaze made you feel so aware of yourself. You wanted to cover up but he had his reasons for doing what he was doing and you didn't want to interfere if this was part of his study.

Albedo reaches forward and gently runs the pad of his thumb across your nipple, "Fascinating..." He gives your breast a gentle squeeze and moves his other hand to your other nipple, rolling it between his fingers. Your breathing picks up from the gentle stimulation and arousal begins to pool between your legs. Your reaction doesn't go unnoticed by him and he meets your eyes with a slight smirk.

Albedo doesn't say a word before he leans forward and captures your nipple in his mouth. You suck in a breath when he sucks and his tongue swirls around the sensitive bud. He gives a harsh suck before pulling away with a wet pop and looking up at you again, "How was that?" You gawk at him, trying to collect your thoughts to answer such a question, "...Good. It felt nice..." Albedo smiles slightly and pinches the wet nipple as he takes the other in his mouth, giving it the same treatment, then pulling back once again to admire his work.

He locks eyes with you for a moment, til he moves his gaze to your pants and gestures towards them, "Let's take these off as well." You lift your hips, allowing Albedo to pull off your pants and undergarments together. After setting those aside, he places his hands on your thighs and pushes them apart. Albedo kneels down, now eye-level with your glistening pussy. His focused gaze on your cunt makes you want to squirm and shut your legs.

Albedo takes his thumbs and spreads your pussy open; your hole so wet with your arousal and your clit felt needy for stimulation. He runs his finger through your slick and then looks to you, “All this just from a little bit of stimulation to your breasts?” He’s genuinely asking but the way he says it sounds again as though he’s mocking you. Your hole clenches around nothing from this and Albedo is quick to notice. A tiny smirk curls on his lips, “Did you like what I asked?”

His probing questions made you heat up in humiliation and pleasure and you simply nod. Albedo straightens up and makes a few notes in his notebook, leaving you bare and spread out on his table where anyone could walk in at any time if they chose to visit his campsite. He sets his notebook down and kneels down again. Albedo’s eyes search your half-lidded ones, “Let’s continue.”

Albedo presses his thumb down on your clit making you gasp, “Extra sensitive today…”, he mutters to himself. He sucks two of his fingers into his mouth, wetting then with his saliva before he pushes them inside of you, drawing a cute moan from your lips. His fingers pump in and out, curling up to your sweet spot which has your hands clutching his shoulders. Albedo removes his fingers, making you whine. He scissors his fingers in front of his face, watching with intrigue as your slick forms a clear string connecting his fingers, “Thicker than usual… Are you ovulating?”

The question catches you off guard and your eyes widen, “I.. um” You clear your throat awkwardly and speak quietly, “Yes..” Albedo’s eyes light up and you wish you had the power to read his mind. He collects your slick from his fingers and lets it drip and form a tiny puddle into a clear, circular sample container, “Good..very good.” He sets the container aside and spreads your fluttering pussy open once more. You let out a little mewl when his tongue prods at your hole. Your arousal coats his tongue as he eagerly laps it up.

His tongue makes it way to your sensitive clit, licking circles as he sucks it into his mouth with delighted hum. The vibrations added to the stimulation he was already giving you had you tangling your fingers in his fluffy blonde hair, "'Bedo.. fuck-" Your words morph to a cry of pleasure, your face scrunching up as Albedo's tongue increases it's rhythm. Your legs shake as you reach your end; the grip you have on his hair must be painful but he doesn't show it, too lost in the taste of you.

When your orgasm begins to subside, his eyes meet yours. His lips were shining with a mix of your arousal and his own saliva as he gives a gentle smile, "That was good, but I'm afraid I'm not done quite yet..." Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to regain your bearings and question him. The feeling of his fingers prodding your entrance has the haziness of your mind cleared right away, "Wait, Albedo-" Your words go ignored as his fingers push in and immediately curl up to that sensitive spot inside of you that has your vision going fuzzy and your mouth opens in a silent moan.

Albedo kept curling his fingers repeatedly as he pushed them inside of you, feeling great satisfaction when your pussy clenches around his fingers over and over. You feel a new kind of knot forming inside of you and your eyes snap open as you try to squirm away, "No, no, stop. I think I'm gonna-" But one final press up into that spot has you squirting. The clear liquid covers his hand, dripping down his wrist and down his forearm. Albedo has a wild look on his face, even managing to breathe out a satisfied chuckle, "Incredible..."

You whimper from overstimulation when he removes his fingers and brushes his thumb over your clit. You feel tingly and fuzzy, legs trembling slightly still when you hear the sound of clothes rustling. You blink a couple times and when you finally focus, Albedo is tugging his hardened cock and lining up with your spent hole. His turquoise eyes meet yours and he uses his free hand to caress your cheek, "Relax for me..." His gentle voice fills your head and you release a breath. Albedo gives a small smile, "Good girl."

He pushes his length inside your warm, wet walls with a breathy grunt. His eyes shut tight with focus as your pussy envelops his cock so perfectly. You reach for him, wrapping your arms around him and bury your face into the crook of his neck. The action has him smiling again and he presses a kiss to your temple, "I'm going to move now." You only whimper in response, clutching him tighter as Albedo begins to move his hips, still feeling greatly overstimulated from his previous work on you. His cock drags along your wet walls and he thrusts forward, hard. The tip bullying the deepest parts of you as he begins an overwhelming pace.

Albedo reaches under your thighs and holds them up with his arms as his balls slap against your ass with each thrust. The new position has him even deeper inside of you, an outline of his cock bulging against your lower abdomen. Albedo gets that wild look again when he sees, "Look how deep you take me. You're swallowing me up so well..." You look down, seeing the bulge move up and down as he fucks into you a little faster now. The sight makes you clamp down on his cock, his name falling so prettily from your lips.

He releases one of your legs, only to begin rubbing your clit in quick motions with the pad of his thumb, "Cum for me one more time, beautiful." With the feverish thrusts and the way he rubs at your clit, your eyes roll back and you let out the most beautiful sounding moan in his ear as you come undone for the third time. The increase of wetness from your cum fills the cave with lewd squelching and the slapping of skin and against skin.

Feeling the way your pussy flutters around his cock as he fucks your arousal back into you has him tumbling over the edge himself. With a particularly rough thrust, his hot cum fills you up. He desperately hopes its going straight to your womb. His spent cock pulsates inside you as he comes down from his high. Heavy breaths fills the space between you as you finally raise your head to look at him.

Albedo is enamored by the way you look; looking so fucked out and blissful. You expect him to remove himself from you, but he stays. You give him a questioning look, too tired to speak. Albedo just smiles softly at you, "Did I forget to mention the last part of my study?" He kisses your lips so sweetly then pulls back just enough that his lips still graze yours as he speaks in a husky tone and half-lidded eyes, "The final part of the study is to be sure that I can effectively reproduce."

˖⭒☾˳·˖✶ ˖⭒☾˳·˖✶ ˖⭒☾˳·˖✶ ˖⭒☾˳

a/n: baby daddy albedo?

#albedo smut #albedo x reader smut #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #albedo x reader #genshin albedo #genshin impact albedo

[lovebugism]

✶ ┄ FIX IT !

summary: you thought you were over it, the whole steve-and-nancy thing. spoiler alert: you aren't. pairing: steve harrington / f!reader word count: 3.5k warning: angst. gut wrenching angst. with a sort of happy ending. a/n: i'm such a sucker for angst it's gotta be unhealthy at this point. anyway, shout out to all my angsty fic enjoyers. let's read this and cry together <3

Having four roommates and only two bathrooms was worth it if it meant getting out of Hawkins. The apartment was a quaint little thing just outside of Indianapolis — up four flights of stairs with no elevator, cracks in the walls, and a stellar view of an alleyway.

But it was nice to have a place all your own. Sharing it with all your best friends was even better. That was the dream after all, wasn’t it? And being with Steve — that was just the cherry on top of it all.

So you weren’t going to let your mean, green, and envious heart ruin the new life you and your friends were trying to build in this tiny apartment.

You didn’t even think yourself the jealous type. Not until you realized that Steve was going to live under the same roof as his ex-girlfriend. It was dumb and it was irrational and you just couldn’t shake it.

It was probably a whole lot harder for Steve than it was for you, really. Besides, it had been years since they were together. Both of them had moved on, both of them had new and blossoming relationships.

Jonathan was good to Nancy. And to you, Steve was… well he was perfect. More importantly, he was yours. 

So it really shouldn’t bother you.

And it didn’t. Not for a while. 

Not until Nancy and Jonathan broke up out of nowhere and he’d announced to all of you on movie night that he was moving out.

He said that he missed California too much, that Argyle was getting lonely all the way out there, and that he had a spare room at his place. You couldn’t tell if that was the truth or just some bullshit excuse.

Maybe both.

What made it worse is that Nancy hadn’t seemed all that upset about it. Hell, you were more sad about him leaving than she was.

She told you as much during your weekly designated wine night (the one where you and her and Robin got drunk on cheap wine, while the rest of the boys fucked off and got drunker on cheaper beer).

“It didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would,” she’d confessed with a shrug, only slightly tipsy and cheeks pink with it. “We… drifted apart, I guess. Just felt right to end it.”

You and Robin spent the rest of the night comforting her, anyway.

She loved Jonathan, everyone knew that. It sort of came with the whole shared trauma thing. She had to be at least a little bit sad that her person was gone, but she hid it away from the rest of you like it was her job.

But when the days got really bad, and she found herself missing Jonathan more than she liked, she sought refuge in Steve. Your Steve. 

And it made sense. He knew her better than the rest of you.

But it didn’t mean it hurt any less.

A sick feeling twists in your stomach when Steve accompanies the girl on a liquor store run without her having to ask. You watch with your heart in your throat when he leaves with her in the dead of night — a swirling bubble of jealousy in the pit of your chest with an ache so palpable you can taste it.

You spend the next several minutes trying not to look as sad as you feel while Eddie can’t stop debating on what the two of them might be talking about.

Nancy had been more reserved as of late, carrying a rain cloud over her as she wandered through the apartment like a ghost — he concludes they’re just going out to spill some hot goss. Robin makes him promise to never say those string of words ever again while you quietly dismiss yourself to your bedroom.

Nancy and Steve have been gone for an hour.

Lying in the dark and staring up at the textured, water-stained ceiling, you start to do the math. Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back with traffic — but the streets are usually bare after nine o’clock. Either way, that leaves a half hour spent trying to choose what alcohol to splurge on.

You’ve seen Nancy try to pick out wine, she’s indecisive and a perfectionist to boot. She could spend hours dissecting each bottle to find the perfect one, if Robin wasn’t constantly over her shoulder rushing her.

Maybe that’s why Nancy had declined when the girl offered to tag along with them.

Or maybe she just wanted to be alone with Steve—

You have to physically shake that thought from your head. But even when you shut your eyes, it’s like the image of him and Nancy making out in the back of her Station Wagon is ingrained in the depths of your mind.

You curl into yourself and bathe in the depths of the dark abyss you’ve created in your bedroom, trying to see your way out of your handcrafted turmoil like a bad cold.

When Nancy and Steve return, they come cradling paper bags in their arms like babies.

Robin relieves the latter of the load in his hands and follows the darker-haired girl into the kitchen connected to the living room, no larger than a decent-sized closet.

Steve notices the lack of your presence as soon as he walks through the door. When he’d left, the three of you were pregaming — a feat that often led to Eddie breaking out his guitar and you and him singing terribly off-key to whatever was playing on the radio.

Now you’re nowhere to be found, and he feels it like a missed meal. He feels the ache of your absence like an empty stomach.

“Where’d she go?” Steve asks Eddie, who’s lounging on the couch and taking up the entire space — legs spread and arms thrown over the back.

The curly-haired boy takes a noisy sip of his nearly gone beer. Then exhales rather dramatically when he sits the can on his thigh. It leaves a damp ring on the denim. “Hey, buddy... Just blow in from stupid town?”

“…What?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, already annoyed and knowing more than he lets on. “She’s in her room, dingus.”

“She okay?” Steve wonders with furrowed brows, uncaring of the use of the stupid nickname because there’s bigger things to worry about apparently.

It wasn’t like you to miss a night of drinking. He gets momentarily fearful that you’d gotten sick while he was away, that he wasn’t around to help you if you had.

“Why don’t you ask her?” Eddie lilts with wide eyes, like it’s a bright idea that neither of them would’ve thought of otherwise.

His sarcasm makes Steve roll his eyes, but he heeds the boy’s words anyway.

Through the short hallway and the last door on the right, he finds you in the darkness of your shared bedroom, illuminated only by the orange streetlight that filters through the blinds. You're hid beneath the covers, a little lump on the mattress. 

He idles in the doorway and waits for you to react to his presence.

You don’t.

“Hey, babe,” he greets cautiously after concluding you just hadn’t heard the door squeak open upon his arrival. “You feel okay?”

You mumble something he can’t quite make out. He takes the raised infliction as an affirmative and shifts his weight on his feet because it’s unlike you to be so one-note with him.

“Well, I, uh— I bought some of that wine you like... I couldn’t remember if you liked the blackberry or blueberry, so I ended up just getting both, you know, just in case.”

“Okay,” you respond after several agonizing seconds. Your voice sounds so fragile in the still darkness. Like he didn’t already know something was wrong.

He so desperately wants to pry but chooses to err on the side of caution for now, out of fear of turning the bad, worse.

“You wanna come down and try it with me? If you don’t like it we can always go back—”

“I’m okay,” you interrupt gently, with a tone so soft and coated with so much emotion that it makes his heart sink. You’re anything but and he knows it.

“Okay,” he nods anyway with the hope that he can pull you from this funk you’d managed to fall into. “Do you, uh… Do you want me to stay in here with you?”

He hears your deep sigh and sees the way the wad of blankets rises and falls again. A telltale sign of your annoyance. He knows then that he’s overstayed his welcome.

Your voice remains quiet but loses its kindness when you tell him: “You can do whatever you want, Steve.”

He’s hurt by the way you’re so suddenly short with him, then angered because he didn’t do anything to deserve it in the first place.

“Okay, what’s wrong with you? What did I do?”

You don’t answer. You just sigh again, the same really big, dramatic one that’s more to showcase your irritation with him than anything else.

You’re more than keen to end the conversation right there, but Steve isn’t. Not when something’s eating you away from the inside out and he can’t do anything to help you because you won’t let him. 

“Babe, c’mon. I get it, alright? You’re mad at me. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” you monotone, stifled beneath the covers.

“I can’t fix it?” he repeats with furrowed brows. “What do you mean, I can’t fix it?”

You use your silence as an answer, as a weapon. It’s almost worse than any silver-tongued reply you could've given him. The quiet forces him to think for himself and imagine all the things he could’ve done wrong that he can’t take back. It feels like quicksand.

Did he forgot to kiss you good morning? Of course, he didn’t — actually, he gets mad at you for forgetting — and you were golden before he left. Eddie probably said something stupid, that was likely. Or maybe Robin made a joke that upset you, that was even more likely. 

He figures it’s something in between all those. Something silly that feels like the end of the world. He can make it better. He always makes it better.

Steve lifts the lump of covers you shield yourself with and crawls beneath them with the intention of pulling you out of the void you’ve sunken into.

It’s not so comfortable, lying in bed in socks and jeans and a collared shirt, but he doesn’t need to feel good right now — you do. He’ll be content if he can just hold you in his arms for a couple of hours, the rest of the night if that’s what you need.

But he can’t even do that.

He reaches for your arm, fingers just barely trailing across the warm skin there, and you jerk away from him like he’s shocked you.

It startles him, how quick you are to avoid him. It has him jerking back too, because you’ve never denied him the opportunity to touch you. He becomes the same sort of storm cloud that you are now, because he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this. Any of it.

“Why are you doing this?” he asks you, less soft than he’d been before.

You sniffle. “I told you I didn’t want you going out alone with Nancy anymore,” you mumble, face still shoved into your pillow. The words are slightly muffled but he can hear the tears that coat your voice. 

“That’s what this is about?” he wonders, not as empathetic as you’d hoped he might be, but genuinely confused. With your back to him, you don’t see the smile pulling at his lips while he shakes his head, like it’s funny to him. “Babe, we were just getting drinks. It’s no different than you going out with Robin.”

“It’s totally different! Because I was never in love with Robin. She was never in love with me—”

“Well, I beg to differ,” he murmurs in a soft laugh.

“It’s not funny, Steve,” you retort wetly and then sniffle again. When you turn to face him, he sees for the first time what he’s done to you.

The orange of the streetlight lamp outside bathes you in a sunset shade of neon — your eyes are glassy with tears that gather at your lashes. Emotions glow at the tip of your nose and your cheeks. Your skin would be hot to the touch if he felt you now.

“Do you know how weird it is for me? To watch my boyfriend and his ex go fuck around with me?” you ask him with a scrunched nose and brows, like your trying to keep yourself from falling apart in front of him.

“It’s not like that and you know it,” Steve scolds. “She just wanted to get alcohol for tonight and had some shit to get off her chest. I mean, she’s been having a really hard time lately—”

“It’s not your job to take care of her, Steve!” you shout before you even realize you’re shouting. You take in a shuddered breath and let it out in a trembling sigh, shining eyes flitted away from him and towards the ceiling as you calm yourself down.

When you start your lament again, you’re quieter.

“You can’t just be this, like, emotional crutch for her every single time something’s wrong. She’ll just get invested in you all over again and…”

Steve watches from beside you, propped up on his elbow, as you trail off. The frown between your eyebrows deepens, a great and inquisitive crevice, while your eyes widen and your mouth falls softly agape — like you’ve discovered something in the midst of your rant.

“Is— Is that what you want?” you ask him then. “Do you, like, need her attention to feed your ego or something?”

He’s too offended by your words to tell you all the ways they aren’t true. “What? No! Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Steve.”

“What is?”

“Watching you and her together!” you admit through a tightening throat. You rise from where you’d been laying down and Steve follows you, settling in front of you as you wrap your arms around your knees. “When I have to sit here, by myself, while you guys spend time alone. When she always knows what you’re up to, and I don’t—”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes quietly, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“—It’s not fair. She’s not your girlfriend, Steve, I am. It’s your job to take care of me, not her.”

Steve deflates like a popped balloon. His chin falls to his chest and his eyes squeeze shut at the weight of your words.

It’s like you’re reminding him that he’s supposed to be in love with you and not someone he cared for a long time ago. Like you felt the need to remind him because you thought he’d forgotten somewhere down the line.

It hurts him too. It feels like you’ve got his heart in your hands and you're wringing it in your grip.

“You’re right,” Steve concedes with a nod. “I just... I guess, I never thought about it like that.”

He feels the same way, too, sometimes. When you and Eddie go all buddy-buddy mode and want to spend time together.

When you’re out all night with him at band practice. When you’re attached at the hip and having sleepovers in his room to talk about everything and nothing for hours until you fall asleep when the sun rises. When you both come down at one in the afternoon the next day for breakfast, giggling about the thing you said the night before.

It makes him feel like he’s missing out. Like you’re sharing parts of yourself with someone else and he isn’t allowed to see it.

And sometimes he gets irrational — keeps himself up all night as he imagines you and Eddie making out on his floor after going through all his new tapes or fucking in his unmade bed while he keeps a hand on your mouth to keep you quiet.

Steve concocts waking nightmares for himself whenever you’re not beside him.

But even then, it’s different. Because he used to do all that shit with Nancy. They fell in love, made out for hours because they didn’t want to stop feeling each other, had sex on a twin-sized bed and tried to keep from falling out of it while they did.

You’d never done that shit with Eddie — or with anyone you’re now sharing a home with. Besides Steve.

Because he’s yours now. And you’re his.

But you can’t stop thinking about how he used to be Nancy’s too.

“I don’t need you to tell me that I’m right,” you murmur with the childlike shake of your head, slow and lazy, as you wipe your wet cheek on your shoulder. “I need you to do something about it— I needed you to do something about it a long time ago.”

“I will, okay? I will. I promise. I’ll fix it,” Steve assures you quickly, with wide and hopeful eyes and a nodding head that makes his hair flop against his forehead.

He can see you losing hope in front of him, like a flame going slowly out. You’re slipping away. He keeps fighting to keep a hold of you.

“No.”

“…No?”

“You can’t,” you sniffle. “You can’t fix it.”

“Baby—”

“It’s not fair. To either of us,” you tell him, looking at him through clumped together lashes and heavy, sparkling eyes. “And it’s not your fault, okay? But I can’t keep feeling this like. It’s not healthy— this isn’t… this is what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. It shouldn’t feel like this.”

Steve blinks back stinging tears. He brings his hand to his face and rubs the back of it against his burning nose. He feels a bit like you do now, hopeless. You’re slipping away and he is too and you both just keep on slipping, just going going going.

“You’re not even—” he clears his throat when his voice breaks halfway through. “You’re not even gonna let me try?”

You shrug weakly. Tears burn as they gather at your waterline. You revel in the sting because it’s better than the hole ripping through your chest.

“I don’t know. I think… I think it’s too late.”

“Why would you say that?” Steve agonizes with the shake of his head, looking like a wounded puppy as he gaze at you with brown eyes full of hurt. “Don’t say that. Don’t.”

“Steve—”

“No,” he interjects firmly, stopping the spiral before it can start again.

He positions himself so he’s sitting further ahead of you and holds your arms in his numbing hands, ducking down to catch your gaze when you try to look away from him.

“I love you, okay? I’m an idiot and I’m sorry and I'm stupid, alright? I wasn’t thinking. But we can’t just… It’s not too late. I can fix this. I promise I can fix this.”

Your chest aches at his plea, at the way he still doesn’t understand.

It’s not his fault you feel this way, not entirely. It’s not anyone’s fault and that’s what’s so scary. There’s no one to blame the pain on, no root to cut out and put an end to it. You’re frightened that it’s always going to be there, constantly in the way, forbidding either of you from ever moving on.

“Steve...” you murmur through tears while the boy gathers you in his arms. You try to stop him but your voice gets caught in your throat halfway through. Because you don’t want him to stop. Not ever.

He nurses you into his velvet hold, wrapping a pair of strong arms around you to cage you against him. He presses his nose into your temple while he rocks you back and forth. “I promise. Everything’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

He repeats that like a mantra while you keep your head pressed against his chest — everything’s gonna be okay, I can fix it, I love you.

It’s a promise. One that he’d rather die than break. 

You stay there, curled against his chest, while dark feelings ebb and flow in a constant and bitter cycle.

You hope he’s right. That these big feelings are just big stupid feelings that'll pass come the pink and blue sunrise. That everything really is going to be okay and that he really can fix it. 

Because even now, all hopeless and full of doom and gloom, you feel soothed in his hold. You’ve never felt safer anywhere else. You’ve built a home in the peace of Steve’s arms and you want to keep on living in them.

“I’m gonna make it better,” he whispers against the crown of your head. If you’ll let me.

He feels you nod lazily against him. “Okay.”

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #stranger things imagine #steve harrington #stranger things #stevie oneshot #published by bug #st oneshots

[oozedninjas]

…… oh my god I can’t believe I’m asking this but…. “package” headcanons? Like, more turtley, not as turtley, shape, texture-

Idk it was an intrusive thought that won in the rock paper scissors contest, but for Bayverse or 2007?

GIRL THIS UNBLOCKED SOMETHING IN MY MEMORY LET ME TELL YOU!! but first-

18+ / MDNI / NSFWish / dick talk

For 2007 and 2012, I firmly believe that they have a less solid part of their plastron in the lower belly area, which is meant to store a retractable dick. As for 2003, I firmly believe their tail is the defining feature, albeit somewhat ambiguously.

Bayverse probably has more human-like characteristics, lol. I can imagine their plastron ending right above the pubic area. NOW THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING I just remembered there was a video going around in 2014 about how their manly anatomy looked, and it has haunted me ever since... in a "haha, what the heck?" kind of way.

I mean??? Fucking Michael Bay had CGI artists design their private area. Can you believe that? XD (and like I know it was fake, for marketing purposes or just to prank the fans but still the pictures are there LOL)

Anyway. Leo's large, team blood and veiny. Donnie's medium and has big balls. It bulges quite a bit. Raph's large and thick. Mikey's thick, team meat. Uncircumcised, like his brothers.

#tmnt smut #tmnt bayverse #tmnt bayverse leo #tmnt bayverse x reader #tmnt bayverse raph #tmnt bayverse mikey #tmnt bayverse donnie #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2012

[the-kr8tor]

i wanna request for fluff friday!

i was very into mushroom these days, can i request mushroom hunting with hobie? hunting and study them a little (the reader brought a mushroom guide book)

Hi, angel! Thank you for the adorable request! A bit of a disclaimer I don't know anything about mushrooms so I researched a bit for this fic! So sorry if it's not accurate tho hope you like it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

"Is this what you're lookin' for, lovey?" Hobie calls you over from his crouched spot. The tall trees provide shade for your mushroom hunting. The cloudy sky and cold autumn air makes the hunt more comfortable for the two of you.

Dry leaves crunch under your hiking boots, carefully walking over to him, avoiding any obstacles that might trip you over.

"Lemme see!" You excitedly bend at your waist, eyes scanning the soil for a red and white mushroom top. "Oh, good eye, but that's not the fly agaric" you fully crouch next to him, taking out your trusted book of mushrooms, the edges are frayed, cover fading, a sign that it's well read and well loved. "Look, you found a puffball"

Pointing at a picture on a page that you didn't have to look at the index to search for, the white mushroom on the paper is a direct copy of what grows right in front of you. It clings right on the foot of a large tree, stark white, its spherical head adorable to look at. Hobie leans towards you, cheek to cheek, looking at the page.

"Puffball" Hobie repeats the name like he's memorizing a word from a different language. "Is it edible? Looks like it" even though the information is laid out on the page, he asks, knowing you like talking about your hobby. It doesn't hurt that he loves hearing your voice.

"You're right," you lean into his warm cheek, "it's edible. I don't know how to prepare it though"

"Let's take some, we'll figure it out together" Hobie plucks a few mushrooms gently, he puts them inside your wicker basket, the first of many specimens for you to study or eat apparently.

"You're right" you smile fondly, standing up, helping him carry the basket even though he doesn't need it. Hobie appreciates it nonetheless, you both carry the same handle, sort of like holding his hand in a way. "Cooking it is probably the same as the store bought ones"

"Not poisonous though, right?"

"Nope, it's fine to eat. If it makes you feel better I'll take the first bite" you smirk at him. Walking in step with him.

"My hero" you giggle at his comment. "Eugh, what is that?" Hobie stops mid-step, for a second you thought he's making fun of your laugh, but of course he wouldn't do that so you follow his line of sight. He stares at reddish brown mushrooms growing on a decaying tree trunk.

You gasp, skipping over to the dead tree, you inadvertently pull Hobie along. "Jelly ears! I Knew it!" Stopping right in front of it, you practically bounce in excitement. "They're early this year" you mumble to yourself.

"They do look like ears" he narrows his eyes at the wavy mushroom. Its gelatinous texture makes him feel icky inside.

"They're edible too!"

"Love, I love and support you but absolutely not, 'm not eating something that looks like that. 'm not a picky eater but fuck that"

You laugh loudly, the sound echoing off in the woods. "Okay, let's not eat them" letting go of the basket, you take his other hand instead, turning him away from the goosebumps inducing sight. "Come on you big baby. We're losing daylight"

"We've got plenty of time to find your fly agaric" Hobie rubs the back of your hand comfortingly, tracing circles over the smooth skin.

Your heart increases tenfold. "You remember the name"

"'Course I did, remember how it looks too. Red mushroom top with white spots, right?"

You let go of his hand to his dismay but you remedy it immediately with a half embrace. Face squished atop his upper arm, arms enveloping him completely. "Thank you for coming with me" nuzzling your nose over his hoodie, you let your actions talk for you.

"I take it 'm right?" He chuckles, arms trapped under your hug, he has an immense need to embrace you back. "D'you think I'd let you go alone in the woods? What if the fae gets you, huh?"

Your voice is muffled by his jacket, Hobie does all the work in guiding you both further into the woods. "I'll them I'm taken"

With his arms stuck to his sides, He could only manage to move his neck down to kiss the top of your head, he's sure there's a crick in his neck. Hobie doesn't mind though.

"Let's find Mario's mushroom" you guffaw loudly in reply.

#request done #hobie brown x reader #spider punk x reader #the kr8tor's creations #hobie brown #spider punk #x reader #atsv fanfiction #spider man across the spider verse #fluffy friday #atsv fanfic #atsv x reader #atsv hobie #hobie brown x gn!reader #hobie brown x you #hobie x reader #spider punk x you #spider punk x gn! reader #fluff #fanfic #hobie fluff

[mlmxreader]

Nsfw alphabet with ghost?

gn!reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

tws: swearing, anal sex, sex toy usage, praise kink

because apparently I didn't make it clear enough: IF YOU SUPPORT RAPE PORN, KIDDIE PORN, ANY KIND OF ABUSE PORN - DO NOT INTERACT!

A=Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ghost is very gentle with you, even if it was just vanilla sex, his hands are always tender despite the rough texture and his voice is always low and soothing despite the gruffness from his throat. He'll ask you what you want, what you need, and he'll always provide - if you don't want him to do anything, then he'll simply lie down beside you.

B=Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)

His favourite body part of yours is your eyes and how expressive they are, he'll never get tired of fucking you in the ass in front of the mirror, his gaze fixed on your eyes; if you close them, he'll very softly remind you to keep them open for him, just so he can see. He adores your eyes, and mirror sex is always pretty much a given because of that.

C=Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Ghost likes it best if he can cum in your ass, but he's got no problem doing so on your back or stomach, either; he'll rarely cum on your face or your chest, but no matter where, he'll only do it when you explicitly ask him to - same with not wearing a condom, he wants and needs your explicit, verbal confirmation before he does anything.

D=Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Ghost HATES sending nudes and never actually brings the topic up, but if you ever send him any, then he stores them in a secret file on his phone and laptop that's password protected and he will use them when he's overseas and all alone and needy. He has favourites, especially the one where you're naked and spreading your ass cheeks for him, though.

E= Experience (How experienced are they?)

Ghost is mildly experienced, no more or less than average, and he doesn't pretend that he's not either way; of course, Ghost isn't really open to relationships as a whole, but he's always fancied you so when you asked him out, he just immediately came clean and told you that he's not the MOST experienced in the world and you might have to explain certain things to him.

F= Favorite Position

Doggy style, 100%. He loves having you on your hands and knees for him as he puts his hand above your pubic hair to keep you steady, pounding your ass and constantly praising you as much as he can every minute; he adores it when it's in front of a mirror, especially, and he can see your eyes and look into them as he fucks you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Ghost will say a few dad jokes here and there, of course, and he has been known to sometimes have giggly sex with you when the mood strikes as well; he loves to hear you groan when he tells his silly jokes and he adores to both feel and see you laugh all the same. Giggly sex is without a doubt his favourite in the world, though.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's not. Like most people, Ghost doesn't see the need to do anything to his pubic hair except keep it washed - it's there for a reason, after all, and it is completely natural. He'll use conditioner when he washes it, but that's the furthest length he'll go to and even then, he's aware that it is purely cosmetic to do so.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Very. Ghost loves to remind you that he's all yours and that he'll do anything for you as long as you ask it of him; expect plenty of little kisses and soft praises, as well as gentle touches and whispered sweet nothings. But he will also make you laugh with his stupid dad jokes, as well, and sometimes they have been known to catch you utterly off guard.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Ghost masturbates whenever the mood strikes, really. If he's just home alone and waiting for you to get back and he fancies a bit of a tug, he'll watch some porn on his phone while he does so; he'll also look at any nude pictures or risqué videos you've sent him as well. He does prefer to wank off in the shower, but he'll also do it wherever.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise, he LOVES to praise you. Consent kink!!! He loves to hear you say "Yes" and it does really get him going. He likes to dominate, but he's never rough with you, not unless you ask for him to be. Mirrors, he loves fucking you in front of mirrors. Mutual masturbation, especially if you're doing it to him while he does it to you.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom. Ghost doesn't really fuck you anywhere else except on the sofa (only if the curtains are closed), and sometimes the bathroom. He's not really big on anywhere else, but he has fucked you in the back of his car a couple of times when you were both in the middle of nowhere and at a very popular dogging site.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Any time you tell Ghost you WANT him to touch you, you WANT him to fuck you, you WANT him to give you oral - he's a goner already. He loves it when you're explicit and you tell him outright what you want, it drives him utterly wild and he can hardly bite back the moans that leave him when you do. Tell him you WANT him to fuck you and then explain HOW and he'll be putty in your hands.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Threesomes. Voyeurism. Anything that involves hitting you or degrading or humiliating you. He also doesn't like forced!fem, either, and if you ask him to wear a maid's outfit or anything he will just turn on his heel and walk away. CNC and somno are also MASSIVE no's for him; anything of that sort of calibre he'll just walk away and he won't come back for a couple of hours.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Ghost prefers to give, but he does also like to recieve, too; he's not the MOST skilled ever, especially when it comes to rimjobs he's quite rusty, but he's willing and eager to do it with you and he'll always be upfront and honest and tell you that you need to help him along a little bit with giving oral. He is good at it, though, he's just not incredibly experienced and does need a little bit of jogging along.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

For Ghost, it depends ENTIRELY on what you want; he doesn't mind it either way as long as he's not hurting you, but you will need to tell him how you want it because he always puts you above himself and he always puts your pleasure before his own. As long as you're upfront and honest with him, Ghost is happy to go along with almost everything you have in mind.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn't mind quickies, but they're not his favourite; it's usually reserved for a couple of hours before Gaz comes to visit, or when you're both in a rush but need to get some steam loose. Ghost doesn't really mind it either way, as long as you're happy, he's happy. If you ask him for a quickie, of course he'll indulge, but it usually is "proper" sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

No. Ghost doesn't do risks and he's not willing to, either; he takes enough risks by doing his job as it is, and when he's home with you, he likes to relax and to actually BE a normal guy for once instead of a soldier. When it comes to experimenting, though, Ghost is usually one to go along the lines of "Don't knock it til you try it" except in a few circumstances - but he always talks things through with you first.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

Ghost is a highly trained, highly skilled, experienced and disciplined soldier - he's got quite a lot of stamina behind him. He won't push you, though, he never will, and if you need or want him to stop for any reason, he will do so immediately. Rounds can last however long you want them to, though, as Ghost always puts you first.

T=Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Ghost doesn't own any himself and nor will he allow any to be used on him, either, but he will quite happily tease your ass with dildos and vibrators and anal beads if you have any and you ask him to use them on you; he does quite like it when you ask him to use the larger of your anal plugs on you, though, he won't and can't deny that.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ghost will tease you but not to a massive degree; it's little bits here and there that get you going and get you worked up for him. He likes it when you squirm and start to buck your hips against his hand, but he never goes further than that; you've never had to beg and plead for him to fuck you or touch you or to give you oral, and he'd never make you, either.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Very vocal. Ghost will more than happily sing your praises as he fucks you, as well as making grunts and growls and moans and groans between. He's very chatty during sex, as well, and likes to make jokes just so he can see you smile and laugh during the act. He'll also whisper in your ear as well, telling you how much he loves and adores you on top of sweet nothings and praises.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Ghost feels kinda insecure about his weight; he's a big guy with a lot of fat, and he sometimes feels like he's not the most desirable because of his weight and how he sees people talking about men with six packs and how they're "fit fat" and how THAT'S attractive. But it's only a small insecurity, and he knows that when you tell him how much you love his body, he's alright.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Ghost is about 5.5 inches in length, around 2.5 inches in girth with a slight curve upwards; he's circumcised, as well, with a big bush of dark brown pubic hair around the base and a pair of heavy balls to go with it. Sure, he's not the biggest in the world, but it's not something he cares about - he likes to make jokes about how "it's not the size of the hammer, it's how you use it".

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Ghost has a pretty average sex drive; he mostly stays in sync with you, though, and he seems to aware of when you're in the mood because he starts getting fidgety and restless waiting for you to pop the question and to tell him you need him. He gets pretty excited when that happens, on the edge of his seat and keenly listening to every word that leaves you.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Ghost remains pretty vigilant, he's a highly trained soldier, after all, so he tends to be pretty awake and aware of what's going on; he'll only settle down properly when he feels you doze off, and listens out for your snoring before he finally drops off completely. When he's awake, though, he does watch you sleep; a fond smile on his face as he thinks about how lucky he is to have you in his life.

#ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #cod x reader #call of duty x reader

[patheticlittlemen]

That Day (part 2.5) [The Spot x Reader]

NSFW continuation of part 2 :3

A/N: reader is not gendered but has a vagina, also borrowed some dick mechanics from the fic Spotless :)

“You do?” John says excitedly and before you can answer, he keeps nuzzling you.

“I just wish I could actually kiss you. Of course, I’m able to keep my dick but not my lips.” John sighs, pulling away from you. 

“Wait, you still have a dick?” You say glancing from his face to his crotch, where you see no dick.

“Yeah, I just keep it…tucked away. Don’t want it just hanging out in front of everyone, y’know?” John says as if it was obvious. You stare at him for a second while trying to conjure up the courage to ask the questions now burning in your mind.

“Here, let me…” Before you can say anything, John reaches into one of his spots and digs around for a second before a portal opens where his crotch is and then closes, leaving a dick in its place. It’s white and long like the rest of him, but he definitely has some girth. You’re baffled at where it came from but are more preoccupied with the fact that his dick is hard.

“I have… a lot of questions.” You say, looking between his face and his dick.

“Ask away.” Johnathan says.

“Is it the same size as before?”

“I think it’s a bit longer now.”

“Does it work the same?” 

“As far as I can tell, yes.” 

“Where did it come from?”

Johnathan begins to explain how one of his spots leads to a sort of pocket where he can store things and that’s where he found his dick. You’re trying your hardest to focus but you’re distracted by the new presence of his cock. When you and John spoke about what being in a relationship might be like, sex never crossed your mind, you just kind of thought he didn’t have any reproductive organs now. But here it is now, right in front of you. And you’re getting turned on just by the thought that he does have a dick and that you could fuck the man you’ve dreamed of fucking for a long time.

“Can I touch it?” You blurt out, surprising yourself. John’s face spot shrinks for a second in surprise but re-enlargens and swirls around the edges with an emotion you can’t quite figure out.

“Sure.” John says with humor in his tone. 

A nervous smile spreads across your face as you reach down, running your finger along the base where it connects with his skin. It was fully connected, with no sign that it might have not been there just a moment ago. Everything was there, tip, shaft, balls, and all. You’re incredibly intrigued and run your fingers down the shaft, wanting to see if it is the same texture as his skin, but hear a soft hiss come from John. 

“Are you okay?” You ask, worriedly glancing up at him.

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Just…” John’s face spot squints as he hesitates to say the words. 

“Just…what?” You say, grinning and wanting him to admit that he’s hard. It’s not like it’s not obvious, and you think it’s cute that he’s so ashamed about it.

“Just…a bit.. turned on.” John says quickly, clearing his throat nervously. You chuckle and return your attention back to his dick, this time wrapping your hand around it and gently rubbing your thumb across the tip.

“Is this okay?” You ask, hearing John’s breathing pick up. 

“Mhm.” John says with a small whine. 

You start gently moving your hand up and down, seeing a bead of black precum form at his tip. Before you can think about it, you bring your head down to lick it off, and it makes your tongue tingle. As you swipe your tongue across his tip, John loudly whimpers which makes you more horny and you desperately want to fuck him.

You decide to take your time with him though, and slowly lick a stripe up his shaft. The whole time John is whining and gripping onto the side of the cushion. 

“You’re torturous,” John says quietly, his spot swirling more aggressively around the edges. 

You grin at him before taking his length in your mouth. The girth of it makes your jaw ache already but you push through, bobbing your head up and down. John’s hand makes its way to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently as he quietly praises you.

“Fuck, that’s so good. You’re so good. Thank you, thank you…” he whines in between heavy breaths. 

You look up at him with his cock still in your mouth, tears pricking at your eyes.

“God…” John whispers and places his hand on your cheek. After rubbing your cheek with his thumb and staring down at you, he gently pulls you up and carries you bridal-style to your bedroom.

As John sets you down on your bed, you reach up to pull him on top of you, to which he gladly obliges. You begin kissing along his jawline and the side of his neck, eliciting soft moans from him. John’s hands slide up your shirt, squeezing your waist as you kiss down to his collarbone. Reaching up to gently pull his head to the side to give yourself more skin to attack, you start sucking hickies into his neck. You wonder if they will actually appear on his skin or if they’ll look different, but there’s only one way to tell.

“This is better than I could have imagined,” John murmurs as you continue giving him hickies and gentle bites down his neck.

“We haven’t even started fucking yet.” You say, laughing a little. Taking a minute to admire the marks you’ve left (which are very apparent on his pale skin), you run your thumb down his neck. Smiling up at him, you place a hand on his waist and slowly move it down.

Unfortunately for you, your hand slips into a spot and reappears through his face spot, making you smack yourself in the face.

“Ow, fuck!” You exclaim, holding your nose.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” John frantically asks, hands rushing to cup your face.

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Just managed to slip into one of your holes…” You shake your head, laughing at the situation.

“Well, there’s one hole I’d like to slip into…” John’s face spot squints in embarrassment right after the words come out of his mouth. “I’m so sorry. That was bad, I’m not-”

You cut John off by laughing hysterically at his awful attempt at flirting. He hangs his head in humiliation and you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling off your shirt and unbuttoning your pants. John gently pushes your hands aside as you start to pull off your pants and underwear, taking over the task at an incredibly slow pace.

“Come on, no need to tease.” You whine as John sets your clothes aside.

“Oh, really? You didn’t seem to think so before.” You can hear the smirk in John’s voice as he gently spreads your legs open.

“Well, you know, that’s-” Your breath hitches in your throat as John starts gently circling your clit with his thumb. 

He moves at a very slow pace to start, making you whine and practically beg for him to speed up. When he finally does, you let out a chorus of expletives and “thank you”s. As he continues to rub your clit, his other hand reaches up to slide down your slit.

“Wow, you’re wet. All because of me?” He comments, making you flush. You open your mouth to speak but are once again stopped as you feel one of his fingers enter you.

This time, John skips the teasing and matches the speed he has on your clit, gently pumping one finger in and out before inserting another. His fingers are very long and he definitely knows how to use them, bringing you to the brink of orgasm surprisingly quickly.

“I’m close.” You moan, feeling the wave of a climax rush over you right after you finish speaking. John keeps his speed up as you ride through your orgasm, whining and breathing heavily as you finish.

After you manage to think straight again, you pull John to you and give pecks all over his cheeks and jawline. He hums softly as you gently attack him with kisses, letting you run out of energy before returning the favor with his “compromise” kiss, nuzzling your cheek. You pull back for a moment and look at John, feeling a smile grow across your face.

“Can I fuck you?” John asks, breaking the silence. 

“I thought you’d never ask.” You say, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

John lines himself up to your hole, looking up at you as he begins to gently press in. He is definitely stretching you out a bit, but the pain was strangely pleasant to you. You breathe deeply as he finally fits himself all the way into you, letting you adjust before starting to slowly thrust.

“Fuck, you’re so deep.” You whimper, holding onto the back of his neck.

“Is it okay?” John asks.

“Much better than okay.” You say, smiling. John picks up his speed, making you whimper every time his length fits inside of you.

“You’re so good. Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long.” John whines. “I’m not going to last long inside you.”

“I’m close again.” You say, reaching down to rub your clit. John gently pushes your hand out of the way and does it for you, quickly bringing you to orgasm. You’re overwhelmed with pleasure and John grabs onto your waist, thrusts becoming sloppy as he gets closer to climaxing.

As you manage to regain your composure, John pulls himself out of you and pulls you up.

“Open your mouth.” He commands, placing his dick onto your tongue as you stick it out. You close your mouth around him and start moving, but you’re tired and still reeling from your orgasm so you’re moving slowly. John places his hands on the back of your head, tangling his hands into your hair.

“Can I?” John asks, gently pushing your head to show what he wants. You nod and let out a quiet “mhm” before he starts moving you on his dick. You’re lucky you don’t have a gag reflex because John was fitting his cock fully into your mouth. John whimpers as he gets closer to climaxing, starting to thrust into your mouth more than moving you. His hands grip your hair tightly as he finishes in your mouth. You feel his cum fill your mouth, making it pleasantly tingle and you swallow, feeling it make your throat sting.

John breathes heavily as he sits down on the bed, using a spot to put his dick away. You get up and put your underwear and shirt back on, John watching you the whole time. When you feel dressed enough, you sit down next to John, placing your head on his shoulder and lacing your fingers with his. He sighs gently and places his head on top of yours, squeezing your hand.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” John says quietly. You pull away to kiss a white spot on his shoulder and place your head back.

“I love you, Johnny.”

#the spot #the spot x reader #johnathan ohnn #johnathan ohnn x reader #spiderman atsv #across the spiderverse

[whiskey-bumblebee]

shake it out

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Reader

Word Count: 1510

A/N: Part of the touch tank ‘verse, established relationship, all that good stuff <3 (seeing this gif made me want to do CRIMES to this man’s body jesus christ...)

also! thank you to @ssamorganhotchner​ for hearing me out when i first had the idea! <3 hope you like the fleshed out version :))

Warnings: nude photography, female reader, pet names (honey, good girl), facials (in the sex sense), oral sex (M receiving), brief mention of guns

Hotch is a pretty private person, especially when it comes to work, so he doesn't love the idea of having/taking/storing digital nudes. Film would be cute, but someone has to process it. That's when he remembers... From his youth... Polaroids.

So now he has one that he keeps in a concealed section of his wallet, where it can sit neatly tucked away, hidden from even the most prying eyes. It's his favorite- one of your face, your jaw slack, eyes screwed shut. He's fucked his fist raw to it so many times that he thinks it's just about time for you two to take some new ones.

Hotch knows exactly what he’s getting into when he walks through the front door and sees your coat on the ground. He doesn’t bother taking his shoes off, knowing the combination of the freshly polished leather and his suit and tie will turn you on. He’s right, of course, as you hear his shoes clicking on the wood, making their way to the bedroom, where you’re laid out on the bed, flicking through a magazine. You’re lying on your stomach, dressed in your favorite matching set, and his favorite pair of heels, kicking your legs playfully behind you.

You hear him clear his throat from behind you, and you hook your finger under your bra strap, teasing him by slipping it off your shoulder and pretending you hadn’t heard him enter the room. He said your name lowly, and you glanced over your shoulder, back at him. He filled the doorway, and you smiled at the imposing figure he cut. To anyone else, they’d tense up when he walked into a room, but for you, it was the opposite. 

You knew you’d be safe, taken care of. Knew you were surrounded by love and care. He took his guns out of the holsters on his hip and ankle, locking them in the safe in the closet. You sighed and rolled your eyes slightly, knowing he wouldn’t be able to see your reaction. You’d asked him to leave them at the office, and he’d told you that wasn’t an option, since he never knew when he’d have to leave for the airport from home. Still, you didn’t love the idea of having guns in the house.

Pushing the thought from your mind, you glanced over at him, watching him undoing his tie and shrugging off his suit jacket in the ensuite. He made eye contact with you in the mirror, and his lips pulled into a slight smile. 

“You look pretty. Any particular reason you left a trail of clothing from the front door?”

“You know,” You smirked, tugging his hair as he leaned down for a kiss.

“Tell me anyway,” He mumbled against your lips before closing the gap.

You were impatient, and ran your tongue over his lips, trying to gain access to his mouth. He let you, for a moment, then pushed your shoulder, rolling you onto your back. In a moment, his body was between your legs, supporting his weight on one arm as he cradled your head with his other hand.

“Tell me what you’re planning. I want to hear you say it,” He said, searching your eyes. You twisted a strand of his hair around your finger, smiling up at him as you felt his body heat radiate from his still-clothed body. 

“I want you to fuck my mouth, and I want you to take pictures of me.”

He groaned softly, letting his face drop into your neck, where he bit down gently. 

“You okay with wearing a scarf tomorrow?”

“Yes,” You breathed, your eyes fluttering shut as your mind flooded with pleasure. Heat rushed through you, and you stroked your hand up and down his back, enjoying the smooth texture of his button-up beneath your splayed palm.

He bit down suddenly, and your body jerked, your back arching and pressing your barely-covered chest into his. 

“Fuck, Aaron,” You moaned, digging your nails into his shoulder. “More.”

“Say it again.”

“Aaron,” You breathed, grinding your core against his dress pants. “Aaron,” You moaned again, louder this time. He changed the angle of his knee so you had better leverage.

“Need me?”

You didn’t reply, lost in the sensation of his pants against your clit. The mesh of your panties didn’t leave much resistance.

“C’mon honey, I thought you wanted my cock in your mouth?”

He was satisfied with the array of bruises he’d left over your neck, running his fingers over them affectionately as he pulled back, moving to the other side of the bed and standing up. 

Goosebumps raised on your skin, suddenly cold now that you were without your human comforter. You moved to where Aaron was standing and knelt in front of him, looking up at him and batting your eyelashes playfully. 

He reached into his bedside drawer, and pulled out the polaroid camera you’d left there for him. He raised the camera to his face and looked through the viewfinder, framing the shot. It looked good, so he put the camera aside for a moment, undoing his zipper. 

“I’m not gonna last,” He said under his breath. “Not when you look like this.”

You nodded in understanding. “Where do you want to come?”

He stroked your cheek with the back of his hand. “Anywhere you want, baby. You’re the director.”

“On my face?” You grinned devilishly. “Should make for good photos.”

He swallowed thickly and nodded. You felt your skin grow warm from the attention. You’d never tire of having him wrapped around your finger.

“And Aaron? I want it rough. Want you to use my mouth how you want. And later...” You trailed off, and suddenly tugged his pants and briefs to his ankles. “You’re gonna fuck me how I want it.”

“Jesus,” He said softly. “Yes. Please...”

You took his cock in your hands, teasing the tip at first, letting it get messy, your spit running down his cock. You pumped him a few times while he readied the camera. He snapped one of you smiling up at him. It was a sweet smile, filled with genuine affection for the man behind the lens. That affection contrasted with the fact that you had both of your hands working on his cock, and the difference drove him wild.

His head dropped back as you took him into your mouth properly, letting one hand drop to your thigh, keeping the other in place while you warmed up, letting your mouth and throat get accustomed to his size. When you dropped your other hand to your thigh, he knew you were ready.

“Are you gonna take it?” He asked, adjusting his grip on your head. “You want this?”

You nodded enthusiastically. He nodded back. “Good. If you want me to stop, just push, okay?” You nodded again.

He was right about not lasting long. Within a few minutes, and 2 or 3 polaroids, he’d started groaning loudly, guiding you up and down his length at a quicker pace, feeling the tightness of your throat around him. From this vantage point, and with the lingerie you were wearing, he could see almost all of you, and he loved all of it, from the crown of your head, where his hand gripped your hair, to the soles of your feet, still in heels. 

“I’m close,” He groaned, voice higher than normal, his breaths coming quicker. “Close your eyes, honey.”

You did as he asked, and closed your eyes and opened your mouth. He gave a final shout of your name, sounding almost like anger, but you knew it was desperation, plain and simple. Within seconds, you felt his hot come coating your face, and you blinked your eyes open. He ran his thumb over your cheek, to your bottom lip, and you accepted it into your mouth, making eye contact with him all the while.

He breathed heavily, his breath still coming back to him, and let out a soft noise that sounded almost like a whine. The camera clicked, and he withdrew his thumb from your mouth. He put the camera aside, going to the bathroom to fetch a face cloth. He dampened it slightly and pumped some of your cleanser into the cloth. 

When he came back into the room, you were sitting on the bed cross-legged, having kicked off the heels. You held a picture in each hand, shaking them back and forth, a look of complete concentration on your face.

Aaron smiled and started laughing at the image. His come was drying on your cheeks and forehead, and here you were, making sure the film developed properly. 

“I love you.”

You blinked in surprise and looked up at him, having been so focused on your task that you hadn’t heard him come into the room. You smiled back at him.

“I love you too.”

He took a seat across from you on the bed, having kicked off his shoes too.

“C’mon. Let’s wipe you off and then we can take a look, hmm?”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner/reader #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch smut #hotch/reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds

[comingfromastatechampionasshole]

Wilt-resist your whipped cream! (A cheat, by Doc)

Okay, the phrase "by Doc" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here--I actually learned this tip from a gal I was competing with years ago in state fair (she beat my ass) and I'm sure other aunts and grandmas know it. But, whomst else on tumblr will deliver it to your eyeballs?

Because you know the trouble with whipped cream and whipped cream frostings is they tend to wilt over time, especially if they have to deal with absolutely any level of heat. A simple room temperature can make your pie or cake look weepy and sad. Your bowl of fresh whipped cream now looks worse than the fuckin' cool whip. Tragedy.

Now, I assume you, erudite and exceptional readers of this blog, are already using powdered sugar/icing sugar instead of standard sugar to make your whipped cream, not only because of greater stability but because it functionally removes the possibility of graininess. This is a "I want to make this whipped cream the night before" tip. Other tips like milk powder, I find, just don't have the same longevity as what's below:

Professionals use gelatin or agar-agar, which I don't like for two reasons: 1) Gelatin is not vegetarian and in the US is often made from pork, so fuck your Jewish or Muslim guests and 2) you have to bloom the gelatin or agar-agar, and it can be tricky to work with, and if you aren't the 'working with high-level mousses and creams often" type, it may be a waste of space in your kitchen.

But gee whiz, did you know there's a very cheap and intensely easy solution for busy housewives to keep her man loving her whipped cream, and by extension, her? Tell her, Don!

Why little lady, it's Jell-O (tm) brand instant pudding mix! Don't tell the ladies at the church bake-off...we won't.

This is the easiest possible way to get nice, stiff whipped cream that holds up for, I think my record is three days. It can also tolerate sitting in a warm room much much better than whipped cream really ought to be able to.

"But Doc, isn't Jell-O, uh, gelatin?"

Jell-O itself is, but Jell-O pudding is actually kosher. I assume other brands are as well, but I don't know this for a fact--so make sure to check the label if you're using a different brand. What's doing the work here is 'modified food starch' which is a stronger version of cornstarch, which I find, added to whipped cream, to require too much to be added, and the texture gets odd.

This is cheap! Your grocery store may vary, but this small box was 99 cents.

This is easy! All you do is add about 1 tablespoon of pudding mix per one cup of heavy/whipping/double cream* and then whip as usual.

It does lightly flavor the whipped cream, which I've never found to be a problem--I use regular vanilla mostly, but french vanilla is nice for banana cream pie, I used coconut cream for the pie I just entered WHICH WON BEST IN SHOW I MIGHT ADD. Chocolate is great for chocolate whipped cream. You're smart people, you got this. The only ones I don't recommend are tapioca (pearls) and Oreo (having about three bits of oreo in the whipped cream looks dirty rather than intentional.)

Go forth, and set your whipped cream on the sideboard with confidence!

*I'm aware these all actually contain different levels of fat, but let's get real here, they are often used interchangeably and only the craziest among us is going to seriously get into "What cream should you be whipping?" discourse.

#cooking tips #baking tips #recipe #kinda I guess

[ghostlykeyes]

Hello! I absolutely LOVE your heartsteel Kayn headcanons, you capture his character so well. What kinds of headcanons would you have for Kayn going for a night out (esp. with the heartsteel boys)?

Ty!! <3

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GIF by thedemonlady

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HEARTSTEEL KAYN: NIGHT OUT HEADCANONS ♡ TW's: Alcohol usage ♡ SFW ♡ Thank you!!! This one's not for Kayn/reader, just single Kayn (if Kayn's in a relationship with u imagine this all as the exact same except he's calling you 3,000 times at random points during the excursions)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

KAYN

Kayn will often flake on plans if they're made in advance, so it's best to blindside him with a night out. He's much more likely to attend if someone texts him, "Party at 10, u in?" than if they let him know a week prior. That being said, he usually goes out with his bandmates either way. He's trying to be a team player, at least a little bit, and he knows that means he can't bail on guys' night out. (Plus, he has enough fun with Heartsteel to make it worth going—not that he'd ever admit he actually likes partying with them.)

Even though he pretends he 'woke up like this', Kayn spends waaaaay too much time in front of the mirror before a night out. Gotta make sure his nail polish isn't chipped and his hair's swept back in that perfect 'I don't give a fuck' type way, you know?

Kayn stashes extra jewelry in his pockets before heading out to a party—he knows he's probably about to lose a hand of rings and a bracelet within two hours. Best to keep stocked up so he can maintain his carefully-curated look.

Dressed to kill. Kayn likes to play with textures, silhouette, and bursts of neon color. His going-out fits lean towards techwear and the tamer side of cybergoth.

You already know Kayn pregames like a motherfucker. Expect him to be a few shots deep before the night even starts. And, once he's buzzed, he's not about to let himself get even halfway to sober. Doesn't matter what, he drinks whatever Ezreal puts in front of him. He also keeps a flask tucked in a side pocket, and he's surprisingly willing to pass it around. If they promise to buy him a drink at the next bar, he lets any of his bandmates take a generous gulp.

After getting a little tipsy, the guys like to scribble graffiti tags all over everything, so Kayn keeps a handful of paint markers on him in everyone's preferred colors. Of course, he won't hand them out for free. Often, Ezreal and Sett can be convinced to split Kayn's chores for the next two weeks in exchange for the Poscas.

Starting out at a bar or club is just fine but Kayn's surprisingly opposed to bar-hopping. There's way too many people in way too small of a space. A few hours in, Kayn prefers to duck out of the sweaty bodies and pounding music. At this point, he just wants to wander around and get in trouble with his boys. City streets, grocery stores, empty parking garages—anywhere is fine, though Kayn gets extremely annoyed (and slightly more inclined to property destruction) whenever they're asked to leave somewhere. For this reason K'sante and Yone try to make sure wherever they end up is relatively isolated. Less of a chance of getting kicked out that way. An abandoned building where they can bring a huge speaker and chill out is a prime place to close an evening out.

If you're a fan, this is probably the worst time to approach Kayn for an autograph. When he's trying to let loose the LAST thing he wants is to get bugged by groupies. He won't even give you a second look, scoffing: "I don't do autographs." If Sett notices him being mean, he'll offer to sign two things for you to make up for his friend's rudeness. It helps, of course, but still. Don't approach Kayn in public unless you want your dreams shattered.

Of the group Kayn's the most likely to break something. This ranges from everything like accidentally shattering a shot glass to absolutely intentionally wrecking one of those public-use electric scooters. (How was he supposed to know you're not supposed to do quint whips on those, he asks. He ignores Ezreal when he points out that crashing full speed into a dumpster has nothing to do with pulling off tricks.)

As everyone's winding down for the night, Kayn's been known to smoke a cigarette or two on the apartment stairs or balcony. He never smokes otherwise, but it's a bit of a ritual at this point. When Kayn ducks out for a smoke, then the rest of the guys know not to bother him anymore. He's done.

Kayn refuses to drink water or change into pajamas after returning from a night out. Best you're gonna get from him is him taking his clothes off before passing out. No teeth-brushing, no shower, nothing. All routines are abandoned and he falls straight into a thirteen hour coma.

It doesn't matter how much he did, or didn't drink, Kayn's an absolute zombie the morning after a night out. Don't expect him to leave his room until three pm, and even then, he's probably only getting up so he can go on a McDonald's run (his signature hangover order: two fish filets, fries, and a large Sprite).

#heartsteel #heartsteel headcanons #heartsteel kayn #kayn #sheida kayn #kayn headcanons #kayn lol #kayn league of legends

[mahi-does-some-art]

Any headcanons for how different Servamp characters prefer their smores

These may be the most important headcanons I'll ever write ever, anon.

Mahiru: Simple is best! Usually won't get too fancy with it-- Likes his marshmallow with that perfect golden-brown crust. Before he would be confused why some people would burn the marshmallow so much it caught on fire but Sakuya convinced him to try it once and was surprised that it wasn't horrible.

Kuro: Would either toast his marshmallow golden-brown or where there's be some black char spots but not where the whole thing is burnt. He had the idea to put ice cream on top of his smore once and started doing that without fail.

Sakuya: He burns the fucking thing like no tomorrow and swears its one of the best ways to do it. Other than that, also normally makes a standard smore with the gram crackers and candy bar chocolate. He'll also always have sticky hands no matter how careful he is. This boy cannot make a smore that doesnt ooze onto his fingers.

Tetsu: Is very skilled at getting the marshmallow perfectly cooked. Likes his marshmallow golden brown.

Hugh: He condems under roasted marshmallows like he won't eat a whole family pack of uncooked marshmallows straight out the bag. Something about the integrity of a s'more. He has a habit of roasting the thing, sliding the crust off and eating it and repeat till there's nothing left.

Mikuni: This pretentious asshole likes to use the expensive bar chocolate on his s'mores and will swear its better. He'd probably try to make his own marshmallows to roast and after that he's even more snobbish about it. He'll still eat the normal s'more he's offered. Likes his marshmallow with a couple small charred bits.

Jeje: Will fully burn the marsh. Mikuni thinks he's a psychopath for it and God Forbid he burns one of his Eve's homemade ones.

Licht: Will eat the marshmallow no matter as long is its not fully burnt. He has tried it burnt and he rambled on angrily about how it was a slight to such a deliciously holy treat. Using the normal candy bar chocolate and store-bought gram crackers are very special to him and he prefers it that way.

Hyde: Unintentionally scorched his marshy ONCE and got kicked out of his chair for it. Perfers his the perfect golden-brown. He'll get a little bowl of hot fudge to dip his in and it's perfection.

Freya: Doesn't like anything burnt when it comes to it. Will shake up a can of whipped cream and put some on the top of her s'more. It always gets on the tip of her nose and she can't eat a smore cleanly at all wwwww

Iduna: Golden-brown to somewhat charred. Her mess is even worse than Freya's and she always gets goopy hands. She says it's part of the experience.

Niccolo: Likes his with a few char spots and a side of ice cream. Doesn't mix them but likes to eat them both as a pair.

Ildio: It literally doesn't matter, he'll eat it. Even after he starts slowing down and is able to actually taste it, he likes all forms of marshymallow so he's not picky on this front.

Misono: Ate a burnt s'more once and swore never again. Likes his marshy golden brown or a little undercooked. The high quality ingredients the Alicein get makes for an extra yummy s'more. Guess that's where Mikuni gets it from.

Lily: Actually likes his marshy golden to burnt. He likes the flavor of it. Actually perfers it being in the form of a s'more's flavored macaron with toasty marshmallow fluff filling. He likes the texture of the macaron cookies paired with a bit of the crunch of the gram crackers.

I'm not gonna do the rest of Team M bc its 2am and I'm drawing lol. Plz add onto this if you have any opinions!

#servamp #ah fuck ok here we go #NO YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU IM TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT OF TAGGING #sloth pair #pride pair #envy pair #wrath pair #greed pair #gluttony pair #lust pair

[kawaoneechan]

Why I don't like Unity

There's three reasons, basically, besides my personal inability to get any custom character assets into Unity, Unreal, or Godot.

Let me tell you below the readmore.

Reason #1: it managed to fucking bluescreen my system just trying to start.

How do you fuck that up? I download an installer and run it. This gives me a launcher. From there, I'm supposed to install the actual product I wanted to begin with. That's bad enough, to be honest. But then the fucking launcher managed to break so badly, I had my first BSOD in several months. With all I do to my poor laptops, I so very rarely got crashes like that it honestly threw me the fuck off.

If the launcher is gonna play like that, forget about installing the actual product.

Reason #2: CPU pegging up the ass.

On my previous laptop, attempting to run basically any Unity-based game would peg the CPU, all cores, until the poor thing ran so hot within mere minutes, it'd commit preventative sudoku. Maybe if I was lucky, I'd get a chance to set all the things to "lowest", and that might let me, I dunno, play long enough to get through the goddamn tutorial?

And I'm not even talking about state-of-the-art 3D games, but simple 2D games with low-resolution pixel art. Why would those run a dual-core at 200% until it fucking kills itself? Makes no sense.

Now, Phil Fortier of Icefall Games is an acquaintance of mine via SCI shenanigans, and when he released Snow Spirit (soon to be rereleased as part of Chronicles of Cascadia), I lamented to him about how his use of Unity would mean I couldn't run any of his stuff. So Phil looked into it and found a Big Fucking Thing to optimize. This basically makes Phil's SCI games the only things made in Unity that I can personally trust won't Do That.

Reason #3: About those 2D games...

I'm gonna dip into my Twitter archives for a bit and repost some stuff for this part.

*wavy flashback effect*

This is Angel Jump, a simple little arcade jumping game that's available on itch.io:

It's delightfully low resolution and has like four seconds of audio all added up. Can't be more than a few MB, depending on which sane development framework they used, right?

33 MB, actually. Because Unity. Let's see how it breaks down:

Unity main exe: 623 KB

Main game assets file: 1.19 MB together

A folder full of support DLLs like terrain and cloth: 7.17 MB, 90% or more of them never called because this is a 2D pixel-art game.

Unity's default resources: 3.41 MB. Mind that of these, only the splash logo is actually used because Angel Jump was made in the free edition.

Mono embedded runtime: 2.61 MB, and each game gets its own copy, much like how Electron apps each have their own copies of Chromium.

And another 17 MB for the Unity Player.

All in all, 33 MB of files for a game like that. Why? Because Unity is a bloated crapsack, I'd conclude from a cursory study like that. Let's compare that to some other games.

This is Elevator Girl, which is not on itch.io.

It has a lot of different animations and three fairly long background music tracks. It's only one file, 18.7 MB. I'm willing to bet most of that is the BGM, but I can't confirm it because it's just the one file.

And just for some historical perspective, the entire Crystal Caves trilogy is 1.31 MB, including some chaff. Commander Keen 4 on its own is 740 KB. Now, Keen and Elevator Girl both have OPL soundtracks, but the latter's is probably streamed.

Noxico is only 1.25 MB to download as a .7z file. Its only optimization that I myself actively apply is that I crunch the PNG files. The rest is text, and since the game uses a .zip file by another name as a game data source... yeah. That's a cheap win.

Now, back to Angel Jump. I went through the game's own resources to see what size it could conceivably have if it was not made in Unity. 54 textures, ten of them actually used. Tiny font stored in a weird way, possibly for distance field trickery which has no business in a 2D pixel game if you ask me. 921 KB of WAV files, high-quality bleepity-bloops, two of them jingles. 4.22 KB of PNG files, crunched like Noxico, for all but the creator's logo and the font. 973 KB for a copy of SDL, and I'd estimate at worst two MB for the main EXE.

The entire Angel Jump game could be no more than 4 MB and a half-dozen files, It's actually 33.2 MB, 92 files.

There's a more general computer programming issue that this reliance on Unity for even the simplest, smallest games seems to spring from: the bigger and better the computers get, the more lazy the developers get. Only have like four MHz, 640 KB of RAM and, what, 720 KB of diskette space, and no guarantee of an HDD? Better make the most of it, developers! But now the pressure's off and there's no more reason to exert any effort into keeping small games actually small.

*sigh*

#unity #rant #twitter

[swap-and-possessions]

Suit Vlogger: First Video

Channel Name: Swapsider99 Subscriber Count: 2

Aiden: Hey, guys! Welcome to my newly made channel – Swapsider99. I am so excited to start this journey with you all. In this channel, I will review the hip and fad apparel everyone is crazy about these days – bodysuits! I recently bought one and decided to do a vlog about it because it seemed like nobody else had done it so far.

[Aiden grabbed a box offscreen and showed it to the camera]

Aiden: I know, the box looks cheap. It’s just a simple bag with BodyCo’s logo on it. I can’t begin to imagine the hours I had to work just to buy this suit. I imagined it’d be worth it once I tried it out. 

[Aiden rips out the bag and shows the contents to the camera]

Aiden: Oh! Wow! One thing I noticed first is how life-like the skin texture is. There’s still a little bit of the unnatural smoothness, like a powdered bum of a baby, but everything else blows out of the water! It’s surreal, holy fuck! If any viewers realized, yes, this suit is modeled after me. I bought add-ons, like a little more body hair and leaner muscles. I could’ve added more, but you know… money issues. 

Aiden:  The skin’s a few millimeters thick – a bit thicker than a condom sold at a convenience store. It’s not as sticky or slippery, though. Like the skin, the hair looks and feels realistic. I can’t seem to pluck any of the hairs, though. It’s just a rumor, but they said this is one way of differentiating between an actual person and someone wearing a suit. It’s real, I guess. Other than the hair, there’s a massive slit on the back and that is where I will enter the suit.

[Aiden opens the suit and shows the inside to the camera]

Aiden: The surface of the inside looks just like what’s outside. There are a few areas where the thickness of the suit is thicker, like the abs and biceps. The inside surface is devoid of any hair or skin pores. The product video I’ve watched before said the inside surface is studded with trillions of neuropathic junctions connecting to your nervous system. I’ll feel everything outside the suit as if I wasn’t wearing it in the first place. Look at this hole in the crotch area. This is where I’ll insert my dick. Judging from how long and spacious the cavity is, I guess those additional $200 were well spent. 

[The video cuts to the next scene where Aiden stripped his apparel. The video aimed at the top part of his body, but a carefully placed mirror sneaked a view of his 4-inch flaccid penis.]

Aiden: My hands are trembling with how excited I am to wear this suit. Not to brag, but I am the first among my friends who bought a bodysuit. I can’t wait to see the look on their face when they see the new me. 

[Aiden dipped his foot inside the suit and followed it with another.]

Aiden: Whoa! I felt a tingle from my foot. It’s quite euphoric if that’s the proper term. It’s like a jolt of electricity traveling through my veins and spine. It’s like feeling the kick of a strong and dark coffee. I’m more alive than ever! 

[Aiden continued to wear the rest of the suit, his face getting more ecstatic by the second.]

Aiden: Holy fucking shit! They didn’t lie when they said I’ll feel everything the suit feels. There’s a bit of numbness, but that’s it. I could feel the breeze from the air conditioner, or the touch of my fingers when I coursed through my arms.

[With a smile, Aiden showed his arm and ran two fingers across it]

Aiden: I- I could feel it! Hahahahaha!

Aiden: And look! When I flex my arms, my bicep bulges out! The- That wasn’t there before, and now it is! Hahaha! I have the strength of a thousand cowboys running through my veins. Hah! This would be amazing if not for this stupid flap of the suit’s face attached to my neck. I better get to it, then.

[Aiden pulls the mask over his face, thus completing the rest of the suit.]

Aiden: Ahhhh!!! Fuck! Th- that was amazing! I have never taken drugs in my entire life, but this must be what it feels like. I still have my devilish looks, but with an improved physique! I didn’t even need to go to the gym to get this body. And man! I look even better with these muscles attached to my body. The hair on my chest and groin make me even sexier. Holy fuck! This suit is one massive ego boost. I never talked this way before, but it feels natural now. 

Aiden: Well, guys, that's it for today's vlog. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Thank you so much for watching, and don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more content like this.

Aiden: Before I go, I just want to give a shoutout to my future viewers. I hope to come back with more bodysuits to review. Until next time…

#Bodysuit #Male Bodysuit #Skinsuit #Male Skinsuit

[dokidaichi]

hiii!!!! could i request a list of hcs about suguru with an extroverted outgoing loud (a bit of a bimbo i guess??) gf? thank you!!!!!! mwuuahh i love you <3333333

note : of course! thank you for your request and btw i'm living for your pfp HAHAHAH <3 i love you too honey !! if you don't mind there is a bit of suggestive content in this !

suggestive content under the cut, minors dni

reblogs & comments are appreciated ୨♡୧

HOW TO SPELL L-O-V-E ღ or, to be specific,

(i) things about COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU

pairing : cold bf ! suguru x extroverted gf ! fem reader

warnings : non-sorcerer au + university au, reader and suguru are two years apart, mentions of explicit content, "bimbo" reader (well more like a golden retriever personality ! reader), suguru love language is definitely listening and acts of service more than anything (cause he wants you to talk more), also geto suguru is a whore for you in skirts !!!!

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU silently follows you around, not really having a choice when you're holding his hand in a slight death grip, long legs easily catching up with your rushing ones. he lets you decide most of the dates the two of you go to, especially since he likes to see your cute, wide smile whenever your searching up the place on his phone for him to see.

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU glares at you when you shock him at the door of his last class (and you do it every time), but his expressions obviously soften when you laugh and hold his empty hand (since the other is holding his laptop) while saying "sorry!". he's a bit sad at the thought of when the day comes that he graduates and doesn't have you doing this to him every chance you have.

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU absolutely surprised his friends when he introduced you to them for the first time. him, a bitter and over-worked junior—you, a sweet and sunshine-filled freshman. the combination was a bit strange, especially since suguru doesn't seem to generally handle people well (then again, people thought this when his best friend is literally gojo satoru). when you tell them that he was the one who asked you out, they're even more stunned.

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU brushes his slender fingers through your hair while he's towering behind you as you read your textbook on your dorm desk to study. you move your head back to look at him, the top of it hitting his abdomen, only to meet his sharp eyes blinking slowly and a small, almost unnoticeable, smirk decorating his lips. you slightly pout your lips, and he just says "yea, fine" before kissing you.

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU is amused that your extroverted and joyful personality still finds its way into intimate moments. there was this one time that he was kissing you, way to passionately, against a wall of the empty dorm hallway because he couldn't wait even though your room was two doors away, as he hadn't seen you for a week. he's confused when you you're suddenly giggling in the middle of his desperate kiss, only to shake his head when he pulls away because your reasoning was "the wall texture tickles".

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU is, with no doubt, the dominant in bed. though you lead the relationship with your outward and happy-go-lucky personality, bringing out sides of suguru he never even knew existed, he's the only one who can shut you up especially when he's trailing down your body. he says cold things like "stop talking and let me do my work, baby", only to say "come on, you know my name, baby. say it louder. moan it louder" right after.

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU has no problem spending for you, even when you argue against it. he occasionally likes to tell you that he has a date idea, when it's just to take you to the mall and buy you another skirt. you know how things go down when this happens. you two silently walk to a store, he stands in the changing room with you, and you end up having to buy the skirt (or two) because someone soiled it (yes, you fucked, duh). in hindsight, he's not really buying it for you—it's definitely for his own satisfaction.

COLD BOYFRIEND ! GETO SUGURU overall is a stellar boyfriend. yea, he doesn't talk as much compared to you. yea, it took him a while to open up and get used to you. and yea, maybe he's a bit too "stone cold" sometimes—but he has never regretted a moment with you from the moment he got to know you. the past year filled with arguments, dates, and sleeping together (both meanings) are all engraved into his mind because of how lovely his girlfriend is. he's more than grateful to have you in his life.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #geto scenarios #geto suguru x reader #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto x you #suguru geto x reader #geto headcanons #geto suguru headcanons #geto suguru smut #geto smut #geto suguru x reader smut #jjk geto x reader smut #things about cold boyfriend geto suguru #geto suguru fluff #geto fluff #geto suguru x reader fluff #jjk fluff #jjk geto x reader fluff