#the very disability i am trying to get treated

[cripplecharacters]

hey, that ask about vitligo reminded me - i used to date someone with vitiligo (who struggled with it) and they'd see representation AS fetishisation, since in their mind the recent "widespread acceptance" of vitiligo (eg. in ads) was just some people's "sad attempt to convince others they're more tolerant than they really are". What do you think about that?

Hi, I do get the sentiment, but I don't fully agree with it. [Disclosure, I have a facial difference but not vitiligo specifically].

The recent "boom" in vitiligo representation is largely shallow marketing and often a poor attempt at being inclusive of people with disabilities and facial differences. The media just found the one facial difference that able-bodied people are "fascinated" by and exoticized it to death in order to make them look better. It's not for us. It's a way to seem accepting while cherry-picking the most acceptable representation, because god forbid there was also someone that read as more "obviously disabled/deformed" in their make-up ad or whatever. The way that vitiligo is usually presented is often obviously objectifying; it's like models who have it ARE their vitiligo and don't have anything else to offer, media will often just result to calling them "model with vitiligo does xyz" rather than, IDK, by their own name. They're not treating the people as actual human beings, so the whole basis of "being inclusive" falls comically flat.

TLDR; vitiligo representation is just the marketing's world hilariously exclusive attempt at checking off the disability inclusion box while still making sure it's the abled audience that's comfortable and aesthetically pleased (because god forbid they weren't). Like, sure, I am glad that they're showing vitiligo as something that shouldn't be hidden, but they're also sending the opposite message to all the other visibly disabled people whose disabilities aren't as "fascinating" to the mainstream, despite the fact that we are all in a similar position and form a community together. It's all about them and none about us.

There's a reason you're not seeing people with neurofibromatosis or severe burns in these mainstream "body positivity! show yourself!" campaigns. They're too much, and the able-bodied audience doesn't like that. People who boast about how "inclusive and accepting they are" don't extend that to everyone, it's only for those that they deem attractive and exotic, as close to an able-bodied, conventionally beautiful person as possible but with something "new" so that they feel good and inspired. It's othering on the very basis of it, and it's a sentiment hardly unique to disability acceptance.

With that said, I don't agree that all representation is fetishization. Huge chunk of it is, sure, I just wrote a mini essay on that. But I think that saying that as a general statement is doing a disservice to both models who are trying to pave the way for other disabled models in the industry and spreading awareness, as well as creators with vitiligo who just want to see themselves in their own work.

Those are my thoughts on this, I'm very much not an expert. Just what I observed in my own life and what I have previously read from FD community members who do have vitiligo

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #not writing advice #fetishization of disability #vitiligo representation

[quebrntahuesos]

.

#ive been going through it again and idk why every time i try to get help it backfires and makes me feel worse again #finally managed to make a call for my diagnosis again but there's no appointments available this year and #instead of having a waitlist they want me to call again in fall #which great #chances are i will forget because of #the very disability i am trying to get treated #and i'm also so insanely unhappy with uni i don't know how to deal with it #i also miss my friends but i feel bad contacting them because i have been unintentionally ghosting some for years #i'm not good at holding conversations online and idk man i love you all but i keep forgetting and feel bad about it and its a never ending #cycle of dread and anxiety #i don't blame people if they think i'm annoying either but id love to not feel like that about every connection i make #no matter who i talk to i always feel like they hate me now and its tiring #don't mind me crying because i can't tell some of the people i appreciate the most in my life that i miss them #personal #rant #ignore me

[trans-cuchulainn]

having complex feelings about gender stuff recently but i don't really know how to put it into words. some of it is about the self-erasure that becomes necessary when you try and talk about medical misogyny you've experienced as someone who isn't a woman but who is perceived by the world as one. some of it is about no longer feeling connected to female-centred stories of a kind you used to enjoy as a teenager because they always feel alienating but also not liking your own emotions about that because you should be able to enjoy stories that weren't written for you, it's just that they don't feel like stories that even allow space for you to exist in. but shouldn't men be able to enjoy women's stories too? but you're not a man. but you're not a woman. but the stories are about and for people who look like you but you're not one of them. but you would have been them if you lived in those worlds because nobody would have seen a difference, and that's viscerally uncomfortable, and impossible to enjoy--

and some of it is about looking for stories you could exist in and only finding stories that are profoundly unrelatable because they're only ever about characters who knew they were trans since puberty and had access to transition care in their teens and you didn't figure it out until adulthood and also that's not legally available in your country so that would never have been on the cards in the first place. or people who figured it out in adulthood but they're so certain and they're so ready to take risks and they'll change the world for a chance to become themselves because they know what they're aiming for. some of it is not being sure what you want but knowing you'll always have to be certain about it enough to fight for it because you're not going to get it any other way. some of it is not wanting to be an activist, not wanting to agitate, not wanting to have to resist every goddamn second bc you're just trying to exist in the world, but the only way anyone will ever give you a modicum of what you need is if you put all your energy into the struggle for it--

some of it is about feeling an ongoing tether to the experience of being a woman in a bad way but no tether to the experience in a good way and there's a weird kind of mourning in that, and a self denial, and an inability to reconcile your own contradictions in a way that feels comfortable. some of it is about feeling pressure to experience gender differently and to opt in to something else if you're going to opt out of what you were given but you don't want to do that either. and a lot of it is constantly self-policing your own emotions and thoughts and being convinced you're doing it all wrong somehow because you see other people being so free with their genderfuck, so unencumbered by expectations, so easily able to get it right for themselves and other people, and you're still misgendering yourself half the time in your mind because you don't even know what the right words would be at this point when you still have scars shaped like being a girl even though you're not a girl and you can't talk about them without doing yourself another piece of damage

like. i am who i am because i was thought a girl and maybe because i thought i was a girl and maybe i still don't understand why i'm not a girl but in my not-girlness i no longer feel i have any access to any kind of womanhood that doesn't hurt but i don't want to police myself out of femininity just because it isn't all that i am anymore

#spending too much time in spaces that are dominated by women and still treat womanhood as marginalised within that space #if you try to point out that as a transmasculine person you have no voice you are treated as an invading man #but nobody has ever seen me as a man. probably nobody will ever see me as a man. i do not have a man's privileges or advantages here. #and yet. #i don't know how to talk about any of this because i don't know what i'm trying to say #only that it feels sometimes like i would be more welcome in 'diverse' spaces if i were a woman #but it is the very fact that i am not a woman which is marginalising me the most a lot of the time #especially at the moment with all the violent media rhetoric and legislation #and when comparatively privileged cis abled white women are congratulating themselves on the diversity of their communities #and trans disabled people can't gain access to them. well. #(and not to mention PoC but that's not my place to speak from) #and then medical stuff. i have tried to talk about how i was misdiagnosed and ignored as a teenager #and people have literally to my face told me that's part of being a girl/woman #as if i hadn't just told them i'm trans. i'm not a girl just because i suffered from medical misogyny #don't add your violence on top of what was already done to me you absolute fucker #the only thing i share with women is the bad parts of how the world has treated me. i guess that's what i'm getting at #and that's a shitty thing to share and i don't want it anymore #personal #gender fuckery

[the-trans-dragon]

It's an odd comfort to experience a Bad Fibromyalgia Time after a long long period of not having this intensity of it.

Like it sucks slsjskdjd of course but

Very validating to experience some of the moderately severe symptoms and realize "wow this fucking sucks, this isn't normal at all, most people do not deal with this and I did a great job at surviving this for years. I deserved way more credit than I myself. Good job, past-me. You were goddamn tenacious."

The validation is nice

#sorenhoots #cold sensitive is. attacking me. i got used to 'never gets cold anymore' and right now its like mid 60s and i cant feel anything below my #knees cos theyre numb from cold. and i am scrolling tumblr on my phone with a very strategically placed blanket keeping my body heat near #my hands. otherwise they go numb and i can't do anything with them. WHICH EXPLAINS A LOT OF WHY I WAS ALWAYS NURSING SOME SORE #TENDON OR MUSCLE. i never had proper bloodflow for maintenance and so everyday wear-and-tear accumulated into chronic disability until i #eventually would cripple myself trying to wash my hair (sorry for using a slur; i choose to use it because i have emotional attachment to #the world from a lifetime of this nonsense). and then id need help putting on my shirt for six weeks until i nursed it back to usability at #which point id have fucked up the other arm overusing it. goddamn. #im finding a lot of small secrets to coping with these things. a onesie can be treatment for cold sensitivity. laying on a small pillow can #treat GI issues if it helps align your tubes. why not lol doctors never had answers so i am just vibing. i advise going to a doctor tho. and #if they have good advice pls tell me lol

[savage-rhi]

been trying to conjure the words for a while, but as someone who’s got family who’s also going through some really tough shit involving mental health work, i just wanna say i’m so sorry you lost your job—but you won’t ever have to work with these people again, at least!

definitely look into legal routes, don’t be afraid to ask for support, and don’t give up. and be sure to rest and recuperate, etc. ableism is insidious as fuck, but you can rise above the lows it throws your way!

(hopefully that all was worded somewhat gracefully. i just am so sorry you’re experiencing this shit, man. but you’ll make it out alive! ❤️)

You don't have to worry about wording things gracefully hon. I know you mean well and didn't see anything here that was warranted as an offense.

Thank you for the condolences. This is one thing I'm hanging onto, that I don't have to work with these people ever again.

I will do everything within my skillset and empathy to never dehumanize or treat anybody the way I was treated as a mental health provider. I'd like to think I do a good job of that already, creating a brave space for people, and this experience nailed it in that I won't allow myself to stoop to this level of being insidious as fuck to a human being.

I don't know the full context of what your family member is going through, but hearing that, I hope they get through the ordeal especially if they are dealing with folks who do not have their best interests in mind.

Thank you again for the condolences and for checking in 💙🫂

#still taking things a day at a time #ive had some other anons asking about donations and such #still working on the master post and i am struggling a bit when it comes to asking for help #im working through it and trying not to let this experience taint my trust that i have in people in general #its a very hard obstacle to get through #trust was one of the biggest obstacles i had when i underwent therapy cause years of abuse since childhood makes it difficult to form #connections without fear second guessing or assuming ill intention on the other persons part #this is the third or fourth job now where i've been thrown under a bus by people that claimed to have my back and valued my skills regardle #of disability and its hard not to fall into the mindset that no matter where i end up i'll always be treated less than and that i can't eve #give people an inch or they'll end up throwing me to the wolves #apologies for the mini rant trying to give more context to the situation especially for folks that don't know wtf is going on #hope you're well and thanks for checking in again hon

[pixiestein]

bigstupid ramble/rant incoming feel free to ignore//cursing cw

it’s actually very disturbing to me how many people in the monster high fandom think it’s ok to say that abbey & twylas g1 sculpts are “ugly” or “offputting” because they have strong/square jaws & the new molds are sooo much better bc they no longer have them. like i really really really try to be nice here & pardon my language but are you fucking stupid? did you miss literally everything monster high was trying to teach you? did you miss the whole “everyone is unique & beautiful in their own way” thing? or did you just forget that the features you’re calling ugly are features that real people have? genuinely asking because it’s baffling to me how many people who praise g3 for it’s body diversity are foaming at the mouth excited over characters’ unique features being replaced with conventionally attractive ones. u don’t like strong jawlines? awesome, people who have them still deserve to feel beautiful & have gorgeous dolls that look like them & the fact that mh had that & got rid of it is objectively bad. like first of all, a franchise that preaches accepting ppls differences SHOULD have characters with both body types & facial features that aren’t considered “conventionally attractive”. that was one of the issues w g1, their message was about everyone being different but everyone had the exact some skinny body type. & now g3 has greatly improved on body diversity (pls give us an actual plus sized doll tho) yet they’ve been removing diversity in facial features. it fucks me up bc WHY can’t we have rep for diverse body types AND rep for diverse facial features?? and second, bro they are literally monsters. they absolutely should have features that challenge traditional beauty standards because hello she’s a yeti, she needs jaw space to house those bigass tusks. and if those unconventional features look strange to you? GOOD. bask in their strange weird abnormal beauty!! i literally don’t care if u think abbeys new face is cuter & her old jaw was ugly, if you see a person with a prominent jawline & think “hm not aesthetically pleasing enough” unpack that with your therapist, don’t post it on the internet where impressionable kids with those exact features get to see it & gather more fuel for their insecurities. this goes for literally any facial feature or body part btw. basically, bottom line, if it’s a feature that real people have that they can’t control, don’t fucking say a WORD about how aesthetically unpleasant you find it. criticize the fashion, criticize the quality control & messed up face screenings, criticize the weird continuity errors & questionable representation, but if your issue with a doll is their body type/facial features look ugly to u, shut the fuck up!!!!!!

#NOT trying to be mean i’m just a very confrontational person #ac if u think that conventionally attractive ‘cute’ faces are better than diverse features then maybe i am trying to b mean to you #this might all be poorly worded & sound stupid but that’s just me babey!! #gibe us fuckigng uhhhh more diverse features give us big noses give us downturned eyes give us sharp cheekbones gib is chubby faces pls #if i was in charge of monster high it would have zero issues & i genuinely believe that #i am allowed a little hubris. as a treat. #yofhsgsjd cleo w classic egyptian features deuce w a classic greek nose #buff girls???? ik the bodies are better but they still follow the hourglass shape w narrow shoulders giv me BIG ARMS girl #honestly at this point i’m just making my own monster high bc neither g1 or g3 have everything i want from the franchise #maybe it’s mostly ppl on ig that are being weird abt the face sculpts idk maybe i’m too worked up #i just get so into monster high stuff i get so passionate #maybe i’ll delete idk #happy disability month the undiagnosed autism is going bananas this evening #cw cursing #cw swearing #monster high #mh #monster high dolls #monster high gen 1 #monster high gen 3 #mh g1 #mh g3 #abbey bominable #twyla boogeyman #rant

[suculentt]

i love how the medical advice i get to not make my condition worse is to simply control it. like wow cool, idk why i never thought about doing that before, thank you i'm cured :)

#i am being sarcastic #yeah so. after a year of poor health i have been officially diagnosed with diabetic peripheral and autonomic neuropathy #so theres no way to treat it. no way to make it better. it will only get worse as time goes on #my doctors have told that. in order to make it progress slower. i need to control my diabetes #like okay dude. its not like ive been trying to do that every day of my life for 10 years or anything #and ive also been told not to sit up or stand up too quickly. and not to stay stabding or in a seated position for very long #cool. its not like i had to sit in a waiting room for 4 hours today or anything. again i am being sarcastic #ughhhh sorry for the venting im just. very sad about this. sorta annoyed. and kinda angry #my neuropathy has been slowly developing over the last 5 years. like. i only just turned 22 #vent #mumbles #type 1 diabetic #chronic illness #disabled #delete later

[thesmokinpossum]

I feel like both the book and the show wants me to dislike/despise John’s girlfriend Ashley but I honestly think she’s one of the least unhealthy character and one of the few I could imagine having a somehow healthy life later so....

#not offense but i honestly do find john's family weird and unpleasant even knowing that they're very much innocent victims in the story #like i'm sorry for not hating the extroverted and superfical teen girl who don't know how to handle a very hardcore tragedy in a mature way #but idk i just feel like a lot of her very innocent actions are treating at those manipulative bitch moments and it's just like... #treated* #gillian i know you're talking about themes of women violence and all of that but not everything a 17yo girl do is inherently evil #like i'll take the overbearing girlfriend who try to bring me food before i take the kid who litterally stab her classmates tbh #btw i am still weirded out by how the book lowkey treated this as this semi-normal not like other girls moment #like this child inflicted a permanent disability on another child and the parents just moved her around to a new school #and it's never really adressed in the text just treated as part of her wild tomboy personality #like there's being a free spirit and there's being a danger to all the other grade schoolers #but i'm getting off topic #the possum watches sharp objets

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

“i doubt you’ll have it” “my sister had it and she was fine” “you don’t have it. but if you do have it, it won’t be serious” shut up!!

#when i say something about my health just smile and nod. or laugh it off. or tell me you’re uncomfortable with me talking about it. #but don’t write me off?? im mentioning it because i feel comfortable enough with you to mention it #pity or inspiration p orn or just about anything would be better than this #i will say that the way i mentioned it was joking and idk if they thought I was trying to victimise myself or was saying it was ok to joke #about for other people or what they thought i meant. so it could have been a miscommunication #but also. even if it was. dont write me off?? #‘you probably don’t have it’ i might not have it that’s true. but also. it is a very real possibility i might have it. #im being tested for it because doctors agree i might have it. #it is not unlikely for me to have it considering i have the signs and symptoms indicating I could have it. #im not just saying shit?? like. i said i might have it because i might have it???? #also. ‘my sister had it and she was fine’ great for her. genuinely. but my body doesn’t function at 100% ever and notoriously hates me so. #not that i think i won’t be fine but i know it could be rougher for me and im getting myself comfortable with that possibility because it’s #easier to go in expecting the worst and getting something better than going in hoping for the best and instead having to deal with worse #especially because if i do have it and get treated i don’t become healthy after. i will still be disabled because my chronic pain isn’t #related to this. maybe this is making it worse but i will likely still have chronic pain no matter if this is fixed #the reason im not saying i probably won’t have it is because at this point there’s the very real chance i do have it #and it’s scary and freaking me out and it is serious and it will affect me and it’ll suck #that’s why im joking about it. which i understand might have been overboard and that’s on me and im going to stop doing it with other people #but im joking about it because it means im less freaked out #plus i don’t get a one and done on health issues. i have constant health issues it’s why im reacting to this the way i am #this was just. it did come from i think a miscommunication but also after thinking about it there was no reason to react this way even with #the miscommunication that i think happened #i also was talking about an ableist joke i heard and the person laughed at it which like. why is it funny. come on. explain it to me. #anyway. just a big ol rant here im just tired and this has been on my mind today #vent tw

[dagasinfilo]

i am so goddamn scared i’m never gonna be able to get the help i need. and doctors see this and refuse to acknowledge it’s from an observation of my reality rather than the pathology itself. which obviously makes their care ineffective. which keeps feeding the fear that i’m never getting help. and the hospital taking longer and longer and longer to give me a psychiatrist appointment obviously gets me even worse.

#it’s a fucking snowball #the longer they take to give me an appointment the more scared i am of it because i have more time to think about how i have had one single #good experience with doctors in my life #which makes me overall less able to think clearly which makes me afraid i’m not gonna be able to think clearly and explain myself during the #appointment. which in turn makes me afraid i’m gonna be treated like oh you just have a little dysthymia #i am fighting for my fucking life here and do not know what to do #like there’s to options. either i get properly treated or i try to get on disability #none of which seem very likely. if im being fucking honest #three options actually. the third one is rot and die

[beatrice-otter]

The Other Half of the Social Model of Disability

Lots of people in fandom are aware of the Social Model of Disability, which is a direct contrast to the Medical Model of Disability. Problem is, most of those people only understand half of the Social Model.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, the "in a nutshell" version is that the medical model views disability as something that is broken and which needs to be fixed, and little or no consideration is given beyond trying to cure it (and little or no consideration is given to the needs and wishes of the person who has it). The social model of disability, on the other hand, says that the thing that disables a person is the way society treats them. So, for example, if someone is paralyzed and can't walk, what disables them from going places is buildings that are not wheelchair accessible. (Or possibly not being able to afford the right type of wheelchair.) Inaccessible spaces and support equipment you can't afford are choices society makes, not a problem with the disabled person.

People then take this to mean that the only problem with disability is the society that surrounds it, and therefore in some utopian future where capitalism is no more and neither is ableism or any other form of bigotry, all problems disabled people have will be solved.

Except that what I've just described is not actually what the social model of disability says. Or, rather, it's only half of what the social model of disability says.

The actual social model of disability begins with a distinction between impairments and disabilities. Impairments are parts of the body/brain that are nonstandard: for example, ears that do not hear (deafness), organs that don't work right (e.g. diabetes), limbs that don't work (paralysis), brain chemistry that causes distress (e.g. anxiety, depression), the list goes on. The impairment may or may not cause distress to the person who has it, depending on the type of impairment (how much pain it causes, etc.) and whether it's a lifelong thing they accept as part of themselves or something newly acquired that radically changes their life and prevents them from doing things they want to do.

And then you have the things that disable us, which are the social factors like "is there an accessible entrance," as described above.

If we ever do get a utopian world where everyone with a disability gets the support they need and all of society is designed to include people with disabilities, that doesn't mean the impairments go away. Life would be so much better for people with impairments, and it's worth working towards, but some impairments simply suck and would continue to suck no matter what.

Take my autism. A world where autism was accepted and supported would make my life so much easier ... and yet even then, my trouble sleeping and my tendency to hyperfixate on things that trigger my anxiety would still make my life worse. I don't want to be cured of my autism! That would change who I am on a fundamental level, and I like myself. My dream is not of a world where I am not autistic, but a world in which I am not penalized for being autistic and have the help I need. And even in that world, my autism will still sometimes cause me distress.

There are some impairments--conditions that come with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, etc.--where pretty much everyone with that impairment agrees that the ultimate goal is a cure. But nobody knows how long a cure will take to find (years? decades? centuries?), whereas focusing on the social things disabling you can lead to improvement in your daily life right now.

In conclusion: the social model of disability is very valuable, and much superior to the medical model on a number of levels. But: please don't forget that the social model makes a distinction between disability and impairments, and even if we reach every goal and get rid of all the social factors that disable people, some impairments will be fine and cause no distress to the people who have them, some will be a mixed bag, and some will still be major problems for the people who have them.

Also on Dreamwidth

#disability #social model of disability #actually autistic

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?

📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)

The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…

For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.

Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).

The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.

My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.

My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.

I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…

So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.

#aita #am i the asshole

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My chronic pain disabilities (hip fuckery; migraines) do not stop me from working. It doesn't mean I should treat my disabilities with less respect than disabilities that DO make it impossible to work.

When my endo pain was at its worse, I did all the things I was supposed to do--according to HR--to protect my job. I filed ADA paperwork. I communicated when I used it. I had the doctor's note. Etc.

Two days before my hysterectomy, I got a call from HR. "Oh, we're not sure we'll have work for you after you recover."

Which, first of all, is fucking illegal to say to someone who has ADA paperwork in place with you.

And, second of all, you're a fucking liar. I was the ONLY tech writer in a company of 500 people. Don't bullshit me.

I should have filed a complaint and sued the fuck out of them, but all I wanted to do was be able to possibly get out of pain and not have to worry about my paycheck after that. So, I called someone else in the company who I knew would lose his shit if I told him I'd basically just been told I had no work to do.

Two days after surgery, I had an email from HR to my personal account. Which, technically, they ALSO should not have used to contact me while on medical leave that was--like my disability paperwork--100% lined up and signed off on.

But the HR person wanted me to know that "Oh, looks like there IS work for you! Lol! Didn't know!"

This is bullshit. She was very aware.

Years later, I'm at a much better company. My supervisor, who is nothing but supportive, recently floated that it might be good to have ADA paperwork in place for my migraines because they flare during stress, which is the time I'm needed at work THE MOST.

No shit: I went into hard shutdown for about two minutes after he said it. It wasn't a threat or a dismissal of my migraines. It was him going, "Oh, hey, so no one can ever try to use them against you to say you're bad with stress, you might do this."

But all I felt was how I was absolutely fucked over by a bad company because they said, "You need to follow these legal steps," and I did, and they still tried to get around them.

So, no, I'm not dealing with getting punished if I have more than 2k in my bank account. I'm not dealing with people touching me, or my assistive devices (I don't currently use any). I can park anywhere in a lot and walk to the store entrance. But I was disabled, and I AM disabled, and I have had people try to punish me for existing in a body that just fucking HURTS because it HURTS.

It's Disability Awareness Month. I am disabled. Less so than I was ten years ago, which is a fucking stroke of luck. But also my right hip has started to go now, and who knows what the next 10 years will bring.

It's Disability Awareness Month. If someone says, "I'm disabled, and I want to talk about my experience," please pay attention and listen and learn and understand there's all sorts of ways disabled people are fighting to be treated with basic human dignity and under the basic rule of law.

#disability awareness month #disability #chronic pain #endometriosis #ada rules

[rubberduckyrye]

Okay in all seriousness. There's something that I REALLY want to talk about as an open discussion with the fandom, but. This is not going to be a very nice thing to hear/talk about.

It's about how Gonta is treated by the fandom.

As a fan of all the V3 characters now, and as someone who has always been a fan of Gonta, and as someone who has many mental disabilities and two diagnosed neurodivergancies... I'm tired of playing nice about it.

You all need to stop being ableist towards Gonta.

I've mentioned in the past that I don't like shitting on personal interpretations. I don't like saying something is or is not canon because narration is just a big web of text that you try to decipher with your own personal biases, experiences, and thoughts. That's why two literary analysts analyzing the same text with the same literary criticism rules can come to wildly different conclusions--why people develop different headcanons from the same canonical information.

But one of the things that challenged my integrity is just how many people view Gonta as this innocent, naive, ignorant, baby boy who can do no harm/never has a complicated/dirty/violent/sexual thought in his life ever.

This incredibly ableist interpretation of the character bothered me for, well, obvious reasons (See: It's fucking ableist, need I say more?) but I never challenged it as harshly as I am now because to be frank, it's not my place to tell people how to HC a character. It still isn't. But I've pretty much given up on my integrity on the subject and have decided to go all in on discussing why this interpretation of Gonta is just. Really bad.

First of all, not to promote my own analyses here or anything, but I think this analysis I did of Gonta explains a LOT in regards to the ableism the cast gives him in canon. I also think that this subtle ableism is why the fandom is so bad with Gonta's characterization in headcanons and fanfic--because they've seen how the cast treats him, and they think it's normal. They don't see the microaggressions, they don't see the subtle ableism in the cast--they just see this big giant idiot who speaks like Tarzan in the English version (which... I don't actually know why people assume Tarzan (Thinking of Disney's version) is stupid. Like as a boy he had to reinvent the spear with no one to guide him on how to do it. He was able to strategize and outsmart "civilized" men in the final showdown. Still I digress) and don't see the literal genius behind his social awkwardness.

There is also another very important point I'm going to make in addition to this, and it's going to be very uncomfortable to Gonta fans who insist he's nothing but a sweet baby who only has pure thoughts. Especially to the fans who insist he "can't be sexual" or think it's weird to ship him with his peers.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but... Gonta blatantly has sexual desire and gets horny right in canon.

This is further clarified here:

It wasn't a matter of Gonta didn't want to touch her because touching someone in their underwear was inappropriate, or being flustered because she was in her underwear which is inappropriate...

It was literally a "weird feeling" that made him unable to approach her or touch her. A "weird feeling" that Miu makes pretty obvious as to what it was--sexual arousal.

He literally was sexually attracted to and felt sexual arousal from looking at Miu in her underwear. He had sexual feelings and thoughts about Miu. Why?

Because Gonta is a young man.

Gonta is a brilliant, talented young man who has normal human thoughts for someone his age--sexual desires, upsetting thoughts, complicated thoughts, ectect. He is not a child, he is not mentally stunted (I've been informed that people have literally said this on Ao3 for the NSFW Gonta fics, please for the love of god stop that)

I think the reason why Gonta fans typically want to keep him as a "pure baby child who can do no wrong" is because treating him like the young adult that he is makes it harder for them to justify Chapter 4. Every time I've seen a Gonta fan that hates Kokichi, it's always followed by the sentiment of "Kokichi manipulated and abused Gonta into killing Miu, so it's all Kokichi's fault." They're afraid of nuance and liking a character with the grey morality of genuinely thinking Mercy Killing the cast is a viable option, because it challenges their own morals about the character they adore.

To those people who read this and are upset: You can and should like Gonta! Gonta is a magnificent character who showcases the subtle way microaggressions can manifest and hurt people, he's a good-hearted person and a literal genius, he cares deeply for his friends and loves everyone with upmost sincerity.

But.

You need to re-evaluate your stance on Gonta if you think he's a stupid, naive fool who Kokichi manipulated. You need to re-evaluate why you think those thoughts, why you think Gonta being shipped with anyone is "Kinda weird" or "has weird consent problems" or "give you the ick." You have to challenge yourself and ask yourself uncomfortable questions in regards to why you treat Gonta like a child when canon has proven otherwise, why you think he cannot have violent or sexual thoughts, why he can't think mercy killing his class is the only way to save them.

This isn't an attack on you--but understand that these specific takes on Gonta? They are ableist in nature. They belittle and dismiss him, they treat him like a child, an idiot who can't think for himself--and you have to come to terms with the fact that Gonta is a far more complex character with complicated thoughts and feelings who is a young adult. Not a child. A young adult.

So again, ask yourself this: Why are you treating this young adult like he's a toddler?

#Gonta Gokuhara #Miu Iruma #Kokichi Ouma #Danganronpa V3 #DRV3 #As an AuADHD individual who thinks Gonta is Autistic coded #do you understand how frustrating it is to see this shit #Do you understand how it feels to be infantized? To be told through the lens of a character “You're too stupid to be an adult”? #Worse yet is that I'm also constantly told that me being short and baby faced makes me “child coded.” #Do you understand how ableist this all is. Do you Understand? #Anyway that's one post down. Gonna go read a thing for Star #This does genuinely upset me though as an AuADHDer #Please stop. I am speaking on behalf of people like me--/Please fucking stop./ #Tag Edit: Yes this is safe to RB and spread around #Please do RB this in fact

[akindplace]

My illness has no cure. It probably won’t have for the duration of my life. It won’t “get better” because the scientific community is still trying to understand it and there is not enough academic research on it, unfortunately. Many doctors haven’t heard of it, and they don’t always know how to help, how to treat it. Everything is always very experimental and there isn’t a single solution for the symptoms of my illness since every person suffering from it has very different experiences.

Yes, there is no cure, and they won’t probably find one soon. But there is something else that can be solved, there is a resolution to be found: it’s acceptance by society. Accommodation. That often involves people having to be educated, because often the worst judgments come from a place of ignorance. But I believe society can know better. I believe in advocating for the rights of disabled people. The quality of life of a disabled person like me can greatly improve when others understand that my body might work differently than theirs, that my limitations don’t always allow me to be the most productive all the time, that I am dealing with chronic pain, and chronic health problems, but I am still a person, just as anyone else.

As social creatures, we need each other. And it’s okay that different people have different needs. And needing more or less support should not define your worth or how integrated you should be into society.

#cw chronic illness #cw chronic pain #on being human #on support #on suffering with a chronic illness #living with eds #living with chronic pain #on acceptance #original writing

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

It's interesting reading the takes on Last Twilight and how many people are rolling their eyes at the Association of the Blind not being portrayed as more accessible. And maybe in real life they do an incredible job, I have no idea. But the lack of accessibility - is not unrealistic.

I used to work for the Department of Human Services in my state. For almost ten years. And this department included Disability Services. Which most people would assume means that the department as a whole would know very well just how to make spaces accessible to a wide range of disability.

I also had a close friend and co-worker who was in a wheelchair due to muscular dystrophy. When I tell you the shit she had to deal with in her workplace - where people went for disability services. She got moved to an office where she couldn't get even into the bathrooms, ffs.

I had another co-worker, a manager, also in a wheelchair, who went to an office that doesn't serve the public, and buzzed to be let in for a meeting. They immediately said through the intercom, "we don't serve clients here". She was a fucking manager, and they took one look at her and made an immediate snap judgment.

After seeing Moonlight Chicken and this first episode of Last Twilight, I am curious about what P'Aof has experienced or seen in regards to disability in Thailand and how it is treated. Because it seems to me that the lack of accessibility is the point he's trying to make. And this is a good opportunity for all of us to look around, and see how we are failing people with disabilities in our communities.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #moonlight chicken