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#the second part might be worse

skoulsons · 1 year

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Analyzing?? :) This is a long one again. And their second scene at the end of episode is really just gonna serve as a second parter to this bc there’s CONNECTIONS. I was going to make a cut and put this all below it, but tumblr was like deleting it so..no cut

“Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Immediate reaction to her applying pressure to his wound is to grab her, hard. She reacts to it, hence her swears because he’s hurting her. But she would never tell him to stop because he’s in a lot of pain and can’t get it out any other way, so she lets him. But I think Joel recognizes he is hurting her. When it cuts to Joel’s face (possible continuity thing, but we’ll say no for the sake of overanalyzing bc this is my blog), he just has the side of his hand pressed, albeit hard, against her arm as opposed to gripping it. He recognized he was hurting her and tried to change to keep from continuing. He’s also trying to be quiet despite his very obvious need to scream about how much pain he’s in because he’s bleeding out with no medicine, no clean materials, and nothing to even try and disinfect his wound with.

“Come on, you gotta help me. Come on!”

baby, he is in a lot of pain. I don't know how much more pressure he can add. But I also think, in a way, she’s saying this to keep him awake and giving him something to do while she goes upstairs to look for something. She can’t have him passing back out, not with a life threatening injury, so she tries to give him something to do.

And something else (and I’m not the first person to recognize this), he’s trying to be quiet still. He could scream blood murder because he wants to because this hurts, but he’s trying to

“Leave. Leave.’

“Shut up, Joel.”

“Take the gun-”

“Joel, shut the fuck up!”

He is begging her to leave. Pleading with her as much as he can muster to get out. To leave him. To grab the rifle, because she can shoot, and go. He was just trying to leave her last episode because he was terrified for her and her safety because he knows he’ll kill her. And now, he’s begging her to leave him because he may kill her like this. It’s a harsh winter. She is giving him their warmth, food, and water. She is not taking care of herself the whole time because his life is on the line, and he is what matters. And knowing there is infected out there and people who she is all alone to defend herself against? She is capable to an extent, yes, but not to a group. Him being out like this could kill her, and he can’t risk that, not a single chance of it, so he tells her to leave him. Because he can’t fail her again, and dying while she’s still with him and not safe with Tommy is yet another fail.

And she tells him to shut up because what else is she supposed to do? She knows he’s trying to push her away because he just did it like a week prior to this. He can’t let people care about him, let alone letting them in in the first place. And this tiny, little girl was let in (with a little shove against that hard exterior of his) and she cares about him, more than he understands. That feeling being mutual and oh so complicated. No one since Tess has cared about him like this. But it goes deeper than that because this is a kid. His kid, now. She shouldn't ever need to do this or want to do this, but that’s the circumstances of their world, and he can’t help that. He can’t help the size of her heart or the fact that she cares so much about him because he did first. Through his protection, reassurances, and selfless caring in how he treated her, she grew to, too. And he never wanted that. Even now, the two of them being a ‘we’ now, she still shouldn’t have to because he’s the caretaker, and he’s failing.

“You go. You go. You go north. You go to Tommy. You go.”

This. This is a father’s anger. The absolute certainty and seriousness and the listen-to-me attitude. He needs her to leave. Because, like we’ve all discussed on a number of occasions, she is his weakness and he is her strength. And he does not believe he is that to her, especially not on the level he truly is. But beyond this, he needs her safe, as I already mentioned. So he grabs her and pulls her to him so she sees and hears him. He shakes her his second “you go” because he needs her to listen to him. He needs her gone, as much as it kills him to. But her safety is his first and highest concern, even if it means separating. He is willing to be separated from her and die alone in a cold basement if it means she gets to safety and is able to fulfill her journey.

This is after he shoves her and there’s already the glimmer of a tear in the corner of his eye. He does not want to send her away. He wants to be responsible for her. He wants to stay with her. He wants to hold her and he wants them to be okay. But he has to, for her safety. He reacts with force and he shoves her away, rejecting her care. Rejecting her help. And he just shoved her. Joel “ever so gentle with his little girl” Miller just shoved that little girl away from him, and that hurts.

Even after being shoved away from him, she doesn’t walk away in anger. No. No, she stands and lets her hand fall to his, just to brush against his. Despite being angry, upset, fearful, and pretty amazed at the fact that he’s still trying to get rid of her and won’t let her just take care of him, she lays a brief hand on his. Comfort? Reassurance? “You’re an asshole, but I still love you”?

And she moves to his coat, which I imagine she took off to better access his injury, and lays it across him. She evens it out across is abdomen and brings it all the way up to his chin to keep him as warm as possible. And Joel (pedro you mastermind I hate you) looks in…disbelief? Absolute unparalleled love at her that she loves him just the same? He just physically shoved her away. He has been nothing but physically gentle with her their whole journey, and now he just grabbed and shoved her away to reinforce his point. And in response, she quickly touches his hand and then lays his coat over him, covering him up to the chin. She is kind to him even after what he did, what he’s trying to do, and it’s almost insane to him. He’s used to violence. He’s used to using force and being given force back. And when he uses every ounce of power he has to use that force against Ellie to push her away, he is met with her kindness and unending care for him

They watch each other for a minute, no spoken words, and Ellie walks away. And he sheds a tear watching her go. His breath gets rapid and shaky, in part because he’s cold and losing blood and dying, but he’s watching her walk away and thinks she actually is going. That she is leaving. That they’re done, for good. That this little girl that is so important to him and that he loves way, way too much is leaving. And he watches her, thinking she’ll be the last thing he gets to see before he dies. He burns her into his memory, so that even after she’s gone and safe, a part of her is still with him. That he can picture her clearly in his mind to keep coming back to as he fades away.

And Ellie waits at the top of the stairs, but only for a moment. She waits. Does she think about what he said? Maybe for a split second, but no more. She needs him, but more than that she wants him. She wants to keep going with him. And, as much as he may hate it, that means suffering through it at his side and freezing through the nights just so he has a chance of surviving. She sits on what he told her, but she won’t listen because It’s him. Because It’s them. And that connection, that relationship, is worth it all

#I hope this is coherent I wrote it from 2-6am #I know this is like a heartfelt scene with a lot of subtext and blah blah blah #but the way his coat is sitting on him and his face is hysterical to me #he just looks all bundled up and it keeps making me laugh #anyway this was really freaking long I apologize I’m having #many many thoughts #the second part might be worse #who knows #the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams

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if-th3n-else · 2 months

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I don't like to follow bookstagram trends but I find one super interesting (it's definitely NOT reading a popular bookstagram book).

I'm currently working on creating a box to randomly pick the next book I read. I have hopes to lower my tbr, well with my erratic reading sessions and me ordering second hand books cause I can buy more, it's gonna be a harsh task. Also it's gonna helping me read the books I bought to step out my comfort zone and then I ignored them. But also books that are in my comfort zone but have been here for year. And since my apartment is very small, yet 1/3 books if I avoid the same book lot of time, I will get rid of it.

BUT

While crafting this at past 10pm in the middle of the working week cause I needed to do it now (didn't finish considering the numbers of unread books I read), I have been struck by a sudden illumination.

Maybe, and really maybe, it's a hypothesis, I could apply the jar stuff for the daily stuff I have to do, chores, administrative paperwork, everything a normal human adult has to do. Maybe I could pick a task to do every day and it feels less overwhelming. I definitely need to try it.

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panthera-tigris-venenata · 8 months

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All my friends are heathens

A song–inspired piece of Writing about Audrey meeting some of the Isle kids with Anthony Tremaine.

Good news: I finally figured out a plot.

Bad news: That took me 2,5k words to do. So there might be a second part.

Enjoy?

Gods know why Audrey agreed to this.

(Actually, hopefully they don’t; however, the gods are nosey bitches. As are the fey. Audrey has had enough fey and magic for quite some time, thank you for asking.)

So she just wrinkles her nose as she sidesteps some flasks and a piece of cloth on the sidewalk.

„Why are we here again?“ she asks Anthony Tremaine, who walks besides her and who invited her along.

„Because you wanted to get to know my– you wanted to get to know other Isle kids, if I so recall,“ he says.

He’s correct, of course. She did want that, as a bragging rights if nothing else. That’s her go to excuse, anyway: „It’s good for my public image; the Isle kids need help. It’s my duty as the princess of Ulstred and Auroria to help them on their journey, just as our king does!“

A sound reasoning her grandmother shouldn’t argue with. (She does anyway.)

All in all, Anthony is correct. He just has no right to say that out loud.

„I meant,“ she sniffs and turns her nose up, „Why are we here?“ she gestures around the dark aley, screamed-out part of the Capital and the higher circles of society pretend doesn’t exist. Harsh notes can be heard if one listens, and raised voices; glass shards glisten under neon lights.

„Any problem, princess?“

„Yes! No– What are you doing in this part of the town, Lord Tremaine?“

„Why, Audrey dear,“ he smirks at her, „This place reminds us of home.“ Us – the Isle kids. He gestures around with the same fake smile and counts on his fingers: „Dark and rotten, just like home. This place sells alcohol for cheap, and with no ID. No one cares. Besides,“ his smirk widens, „It’s not like any other place would have us.“

Audrey has the decency to look sorry for that, and enough wits not to actually apologise. Instead, she sniffs hauntingly and says: „I see how it is.“

Anthony opens the door for her and holds it open: „Why, is this beneath you, Audrey Rose?“

„Absolutely,“ she agrees as she walks around him and steps into the bar; noises and smells assault her senses. If that alone wouldn’t stop her, his hand on her elbow would.

„You ready?“

„Yeah, of course. How bad could your friends possibly be?“

It’s not like they’d kill her. Right?

He shakes his head. „I don‘t think you understand. All my friends, as you call them – don’t do that, by the way, – are heathens. Only one of the bunch who has any sort of manners is Harriet, and, well. She won’t bother. So, for the love of whatever is dear to you, take it slow. And don’t make any sudden moves.“

No sudden moves. That’s not unnerving at all. Absolutely not.

„Let’s go.“ He offers her his arm as they walk down the few steps into the bar. Pub. Whatever. They weave through the tables and Audrey tries to ignore the sticky floors under her shoes; she looks down at it in distaste. Which is probably a good thing, because she misses the stares directed at her and how quickly the eyes snap away when Anthony glares at them.

All eyes but two pairs.

Audrey and Anthony stop in front of a table in the corner, because of course it’s the corner table. It makes sense in Audrey’s mind, something about Isle kids and watching their backs.

She raises her hand to wave at the people there, all of which are rather obnoxiously ignoring her, but Anthony swats her arm down. „Absolutely not–“ he hisses.

„Excuse me for trying to be nice,“ she hisses back.

„You’re excused,“ he says without missing a beat, and Audrey gasps at the audacity, not exaggerating in the slightest.

Then Anthony goes round introducing everyone: Harriet Hook, who just looks at her with icy cold eyes that she shares with her brother and that make Audrey click her jaw into place, earning her a small nod of approval.

Beside Harriet, Ginny Gothel, who blows her an air kiss and gets back to pulling at her curls; „Ginny–“ Anthony sighs at that, but moves along, introducing Mad Maddy next.

Audrey isn’t too sure if she wants to know why she’s called Mad, but she is quite certain she’ll find out anyway.

Last person sitting at the table is Sammy Smee, who actually nods at Audrey in greeting. Audrey smiles at them.

„Where’s Dulcia?“ Anthony complains, „She said she’d be there. Dulcia – my eldest cousin,“ he adds for Audrey’s benefit. She remembers both Anthony and Dizzy talking about some Dulcia, but hasn’t met her yet. Neither had Chad, probably, but that’s hard to tell. He’s too busy complaining about Anthony anyway; and Audrey hadn’t spoken with Queen Cinderella in quite a while. Ever since her Queen of Mean episode, to be exact.

She should probably do that, instead of meeting with vaguely stabby looking Isle kids in a bar with neon lights and a name that’s more of a curse than anything else.

She ignores that thought and instead sits at the chair Sammy pointed out for her just as Ginny pipes up: „Yeah, Dulcia’s over there, playing poker with the Gaston twins.“

„Dulcia!“ Anthony raises his voice, „Come greet our guest!“

„Can’t, cousin dearest,“ she shouts back at him, „I’m a bit busy right now, and I’m winning!“

„You’re playing with the Gastons.

„Shut up, Gothel; are you jealous?“

„Why would I be?“

Audrey tones out the rest of the conversation for her own sanity. (She didn’t need to hear that much crude innuendos in such a short time, thank you for asking.)

…And also because Harriet Hook is leaning towards her and staring at her, and Audrey finds herself suddenly quite afraid for her own life.

„Didn’t expect a royal visit today,“ Harriet Hook states, not bothering to make it sound like a question. She has a half empty glass of whiskey in front of her.

„Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?“ Audrey says idly and straightens her skirt. She should have listened to Anthony and worn trousers tonight, or at least a longer skirt.

Harriet just narrows her eyes at her, dragging her fingertip round the trim of her glass. She looks as if she’s just been grievously offended and Audrey doesn’t dare guess how. Harriet’s glare doesn’t lessen a bit when Ginny basically climbs into her lap to make room for Anthony who slides next to them, or when the two of them kiss. Or when Anthony kisses her cheek.

It would be almost impressive if it hadn't been so– Audrey finds herself making a face at the display.

„You’ll get used to it,“ Sammy says with a resigned tone as they clasp her shoulder for a brief moment, and Audrey doubts that, really.

„Get a room, you three!“ screeches Maddy, and now, that sentiment Audrey can get behind.

Unfortunately, it only encourages the three of them to make out more. Exhibitionists. In turn, that causes Maddy to screech more, both the trio and at any onlookers.

Ginny shows Maddy the middle finger, and says: „Only getting a room if you’re paying, sweetheart.“

„Absolutely NOT–!“

„Or the princess her could pay,“ Ginny suggests slyly, and honestly, at this point Audrey is tempted to agree.

„Excuse me?!“ she protests anyway.

„Yes, Ginny, have some manners,“ reminds Anthony, tugging at Ginny’s hair, and Audrey quickly looks away, „We have a royal visit.“

„You didn’t care about manners much few moments ago, Lord Tremaine,“ Audrey reminds him in the most haughty tone she can muster.

„Oh, I like this one,“ Harriet cackles, „She has a bite! But really, is she paying?“

Under normal circumstances, Audrey would be insulted over being talked about as if she weren’t here, however, she quickly decides, it’s better than being glared halfway to hell. She doesn’t deem it worthy of an answer, though.

Dulcia and the Gaston twins walk over and settle themselves at their table too, which hasn’t got nothing to do with the motion of possible free stuff, Audrey is sure.

„Move over,“ Dulcia nudges her cousin and Maddy, while the twins just steal chairs from a neighbouring table. Good for them.

One of them also moves his chair entirely close to Audrey’s for her liking, and she leans away a bit–

„Don’t even try that, Junior,“ Anthony snaps, and the boy moves to respectable distance.

„When will you learn that not everyone likes you, really, Junior?“ Ginny Gothel sighs, leaning further into Harriet, and great, now she and Dulcia are arguing again. Both Gaston twins look completely dumbfounded by the situation.

„You want a drink, princess?“ Anthony ignores the ruckus, and, why, yes. Audrey could do with a drink. She nods.

„Well, what do you drink?“

„What do they have?“ Audrey is fairly sure they won’t have her favourite drinks here. Or any cocktails at all, or champagne.

And sure enough, Harriet starts reciting the drinks-menu, which so far consists of various shots of rum and whiskey. She seems to have it memorised.

„Do they have any long drinks?“ Audrey interrupts her.

„Sure,“ the pirate Captain scoffs, and she’s definitely judging her, „I suppose they could make you some.“ She kicks back the rest of her whiskey.

Anthony nudges her to play nice, and she starts listing the drinks: Vodka-soda. Rum and coke. Vodka with juice, though she isn’t actually sure if they have juice. Gin and tonic.

„Could they give me pink gin and tonic?“ Audrey interrupts. Aesthetic, you see.

„Anything for the princess, sure,“ drawls Harriet, moving Ginny’s curls around her shoulder. Audrey feels judged again.

„I suppose you want a drink too, Captain?“ Anthony continues without missing a beat.

„You know what I want,“ Harriet smiles at him, more teeth than anything else, and Audrey looks away. Just in time, because they kiss again. Of course they do.

„I’ll try to get your pink stuff, Rose,“ Anthony says over his shoulder as he walks away. Audrey doesn’t bother yelling out her thanks over the ruckus around.

„You’re not drinking?“ she asks Sammy, as they’re the only one who doesn’t have a drink, or aren’t yelling at Anthony to get them one.

„Can’t,“ Sammy shrugs, „Not when this one is drinking. Gotta make sure she doesn’t murder anybody.“ They gesture to Harriet, hands mostly under the table, but she seems preoccupied again. „Or hurt herself. You know how it goes.“

Audrey doesn’t know. „Surely it can’t be that bad,“ she says anyway.

„Oh, you don’t know half of it,“ Sammy laughs, „She’s a Hook.“

As if that explained everything.

One of the Gaston twins nods, as if it really did.

„I mean, I know her siblings…“ Audrey trails away.

„See?“ gestures Sammy, and yeah. Maybe she doesn’t want to. Have they considered that?

They have not considered that. Obviously.

No one really cares how Audrey feels, but at least this time it isn’t personal.

„Anyway,“ Ginny announces to the table, „Going out, be right back. Maddy, Dulcia?“ She stands up, letting Harriet’s lingering hand fall down, and Audrey isn’t looking at that.

She’d like to know where are they going, though.

„Trois, go with them,“ says Harriet when the trio of the girls is already halfway through the room.

„Absolutely not!“ Ginny spins around to glare at the pirate captain and at Gaston the Third too.

„I said!“ snaps Harriet back.

„I don’t need a bloody bodyguard!“ yells Ginny. Said bodyguard gets no input at all, and Maddy and Dulcia linger by the door.

A knife plunges deep into the table and Audrey flinches away violently. She looks at Harriet’s hand on the weapon, white knuckles and all, and barely hears Ginny as she reluctantly allows Trois to come with.

Audrey blinks a few times: What just happened?

„So sorry about that,“ Harriet says, not sounding sorry at all, „Now, I heard something about my siblings? What did they do?“

„Yeah, but,“ Audrey struggles with her words and gestures around, „Where did they go?“

„They just went for a smoke,“ says Sammy Smee, unconcerned.

„Yeah, and they wouldn’t share, bloody bitches.“

„…Why wouldn’t they share cigarettes?“ asks Audrey, mildly confused. Smoking is not pretty, but it’s not a crime, and it’s something social. Not that Audrey would know, of course.

„Audrey, honey.“ Anthony gets back with their drinks, „They have weed at the very least, and the mighty Captain Hook here isn’t allowed that. Isn’t that right, Harriet?“

Sammy just solemnly nods while Harriet mutters something like „I hate you and I will kill you painfully,“ and yanks her glass from Anthony, downing half of it at once. He just kisses her hair before sitting down, and Audrey can’t help but stare at the entire scene, utterly bewildered.

„Hopefully they’ll be less snappy when they come back,“ Anthony says, and: „Didn’t have any pink stuff,“ as he slides a glass to her. Audrey takes a sip and almost chokes on the vile oleum-like liquid, earning a mean laugh from Harriet and a pat on the back from Sammy.

She drinks again.

„I’d like to hear it too, what CJ and Harry are up to,“ Anthony says.

„Well, last time I saw Harry, he tried to kill me,“ Audrey says. To be fair, she was very much trying to curse him at the time, so, she can’t really blame him. She tries not to blame him, at least. Before she can add the context, though, Harriet nods, sipping her drink again, and says „Yeah. Yeah, he does that,“ with a bloody smile.

And, excuse me? Is she smiling about her attempted murder?

„Excuse– Sorry?!“ Audrey sputters, „I just said he tried to kill me!“

„And I said he does that. Ma’s fault, totally, and Uma’s too. He’d fistfight a god if he thought he’d like it.“

Audrey is way too busy trying to process the words „Ma’s fault,“ to worry about anything else. Here she was, thinking that Captain James Hook was the dangerous parent, but apparently not.

„And Calista?“ Harriet interrupts Audrey’s thoughts.

„Hmm?“

„Calista Jane. CJ. Little, blonde, wears red, likes to threaten death to people?“ lists Harriet.

„Kidnapped the king at the Neon Lights Ball?“ adds Anthony helpfully.

„Yeah no I know who that is.“ Audrey shakes her head to get her thoughts straight, „She’s been over there for ages, she’s a menace– I think she keeps stealing my grandma’s tiaras.“

„Sounds like CJ, alright,“ mutters Sammy Smee, dodging a lazy blow at their shoulder by Harriet. „You know I’m correct, Captain.“

„They are, Ettie,“ agrees Anthony, sipping his own drink. He leans away as Harriet swats at his shoulder too.

„Anyway,“ Harriet leans closer to Audrey, „Any chance you’d be up for babysitting that menace?“

„Please, say yes–“ Sammy. If Audrey would have to guess, she’d say they’re the one forced to babysit CJ normally.

„Isn’t she like fourteen now?“ Audrey asks instead.

„Yeah, and? Would you?“

„…I’ll think about it,“ answers Audrey, because the night is young and because she still has her drink, and because honestly?

It’s not like she has anything better to do.

#disney descendants #harriet hook #anthony tremaine #audrey rose #tw alcohol #isle kids are not okay #I finally figured out a plot #so there MIGHT be a second part #ginny gothel #mad maddy #sammy smee #a trio of sex repulsed aces gets trapped in a room with a bunch of exibicionists. And if the younger two Hooks show up it’s gonna get worse #aro ace Audrey Rose #because she sparks joy like that and Im definitely not projecting or anything like that

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curiosity-killed · 1 month

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just a couple of bonkers conversations i've had lately and can't quite stop thinking about

[ALT ID: Two simple black and white comics.

The first comic shows three people sitting in a row in a theatre. The first person is labeled "ballet master for company," the second "director of the company I dance with who, at best, doesn't acknowledge my existence," and the third is "Me." In the second panel, the first two people are talking and the director says, "I think people also go to his class because he's so nice to look at, right?" while turning to look at me. The third panel shows the third person staring back in bewilderment, with just a label reading "so gay."

The second comic shows two people talking on the phone. The first says "Yeah, like I know I tend to wear baggy clothes to cover up—" and the second interjects with "Yeah, 'cause you don't have a choice. Like you HAVE to wear a leotard and tights—". The second panels shows the first person looking surprised and thinking, "Wow are we actually coming to an understanding about this?" but the thought bubble is interrupted by the second person saying, "—at some point, you just had to get over any body issues you might have had." The third panel shows the first person covering their face with their hand as the second person continues, "Like I don't understand why you WOULD because you're skinny and a dancer and—" and a caption in the bottom righthand corner reads, "The answer: No, we were not."]

#my doodles #additional layers that made the first convo even worse!#i had been in rehearsal with these folks ALL DAY the day before #and was wearing LEGITIMATELY my old prom dress bc a) I'd tried it on to see if I could actually wear it #b) gotten distracted doing my makeup/hair and run out of time and c) decided 'fuck it i'm only seeing strangers and my friends and neither #care that much'#except then i also saw like. my sort of boss for my not-job. and also my actual part-time job.#ALSO the guy in question! is like!! a really sweet guy and also. someone i cannot fathom finding attractive.#i was so so thrown off by this question #it was also. the only attempt to pull me into conversation asdkljfdhja #the second conversation was just. my sister being. well. herself #but also like one of those 'you were so close!!' moments of like #yes PERHAPS being a dancer! and having to wear leotards and tights all the time!! might!#contribute! to poor body image!!! perhaps!!!!#but no #i know she meant well by it and i wasn't really offended but i was just baffled by the near miss of it all

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years

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Tbh my favourite thing about rewatching lazy in space is that on the first viewing, everything seems like disconnected nonsense that just happens for the sake of whimsy. But when you give each episode a second viewing you realise that each of them has a loose core theme that ties all the nonsense together and relates to the show's whole ethos about the difficulties of growing into an adult and the responsibilities that come with it. Yeah a lot of stuff is still random nonsense that goes unexplained but that's just par for the course with bapc. Lazy in space is actually a lot tighter in the writing department than I first thought, and that I think a lot of ppl seeing it for the first time thought!

#ramblings of a lunatic #bapc #bee and puppycat: lazy in space #tbh i think this might also be part of the dissonance for people who prefer the og youtube series over LiS?#the original youtube shorts were 10 minutes each and usually had pretty clear cut lessons/developments at the end #most of them revolving around bee and puppycat becoming less selfish #wheras in the Netflix show the arcs are really more rewarding on the second viewing #the only way I can think to describe it is like. two different mixings of a song #like one version where there's a clear focus on one or a couple specific instruments. this is the piano song & this is the guitar song etc #and then another version where it's hard to tell if there's less instruments or more because everything is so layered that it blends #and like #neither one is better or worse than the other #i LIKE listening to songs with a big focus on guitars and i like shows with clear readable thesis statements #and i also like songs with cool layering and i like lazy in space's approach to writing #it's grown on me #anyway yeah i love this showwwwww

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vanillabat99 · 2 years

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I just had a really weird dream. I wanna make it very clear that my dreams are extremely vivid, and I often believe them to be reality while I am dreaming.

I was trapped in some fantasy hell maze made up of two sections, mostly indoor and mostly outdoor. The outdoor part was like a big forest but also a university campus, and the indoor part was like a big shopping mall (separate from the "university" building in the outdoor section). I've had "Trapped In A Shopping Mall From Hell" dreams before but this one was so weird?? I'll skip over the relatively normal dream stuff and just tell you the nightmare part, because it would take a lot of explaining for the first bit. CW for mentions of gore.

So, the "Shopping Mall From Hell" turned into some weird miniature-land tunnel themepark, which your goal was to escape. It wasn't scary at first and for awhile the worst part was trying to catch up to someone, but then there was a split path in the tunnel rooms. One of the tunnel sections featured a death laser (which is kinda cringe but I didn't wanna die so I avoided it) but the other tunnel featured a gore display, which has probably been burned into my brain forever now. Since this one wasn't immediate death I decided I'd be brave about it and power through, but it just got worse. The next room after was somehow more violently disgusting, and the bodies were screaming and moving. Every room I could see in the distance was just increasingly horrendous. So I turned around and ran out. I had to climb over the previous room display to get out and it turns out it wasn't really a display either, and they started screaming as I furthered their wounds in my desperation to escape. The rest of it wasn't so bad in comparison and it did turn out somewhat okay, but I think that's really gonna exist in my head forever now.

#they looked like old ai generated images of people kinds of messed up but with heavy gore on top #i could hear their bones cracking as i climbed over them 😭😭😭#they werent like shouting screaming it was like. hissing and moaning and wailing. which id say is worse than just yelling.#but like the first gore room was just like. it was shocking. but was kinda just a ball of body parts. but the 2nd room. god.#the second room smelled bad. there were flies. it was a very very very violent scene. like you cant even show that in horror movies bad.#and when i turned back the more fully formed bodies turned to look at me as they screamed. i think they mightve tried to grab me.#it was bad. it was really bad. like. i cant describe how grotesque this was.#ive had gore dreams before but this was a bad one 😭#might be up there with the meat dream in terms of mentally scarring.#im okay for now and but idk if im gonna be going back to sleep.#ive been awake for like 15mins and most of it has been spent writing this so. this is fresh. eurgh.#i tried to proofread the post but its 5am and im tired im sorry if theres errors or if its incoherent #thanks for reading though #means a lot #batty blogging #text

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