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#the other night i think i had a dream that it was just a fun fact they'd also been lucifer some third time lmao...i wish
999h34rt · 20 hours
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FLATLINE | PAIGE BEUCKERS
➣ paige x fem!gf!reader
➣ summary: y/n and paige experience what it means to be in a long distance relationship, but with the distance between them, can they overcome it?
➣ warning : secret relationship, angst (kinda) ,long distance.
➣ duayaps: first post🥳🥳🥳, thoughts?
➣ inspired by flatline by justin bieber.
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"I'LL MISS YOU" paige muttered against her neck.
"it'll go by before you know it" y/n said pulling away from the hug. When college applications started being filled, she took a big risk and applied for Politecnico di Milano, a fashion uni in Milan, Italy. She had already said goodbye to her parents, thinking that was the hardest goodbye she could imagine, but the tears in her eyes from saying goodbye to her girlfriend right now, told her she lied to herself a while ago.
Paige and y/n had always had a rocky side of their relationship, for one, it was a secret waiting to bomb the world, two, they always knew that long distance was going to be a thing for them. With Paige going to Uconn and Yn going to PDM, 'it was already doomed' said by most people. But overcoming the rocky side of their relationship, there was the fairytale side. The one where they in love, where they supported each other in everything, where they took each others first kisses, first everything. They were each other's lifelines in a way, they didn't go a day without speaking to each other.
They both hoped that these future 4 years, weren’t going to change their feelings of each other.
Lately you've been busy, wondering if you miss me
Why did you go against me? I just wanna know
How come you act so different? Talk to me, I'll listen
All the love I'm giving, don't act like you don't know
“…leave a message after the tone” y/n sighed as she hung up the phone. It was 7am and her alarm had just gone off, Paige was most likely asleep. It’s 1am at Storrs.
If you put the time difference aside, they were doing well. Both of them spent at least 2 hours everyday on the phone and haven’t had an any problems yet.
But it’s only been 5 months. 7 months and 3 years to go.
Y/n was glad Paige settled in great, she got along with her teammates and had a great support system there. Paige became a media star, with that came many fans. While y/n wasn’t the jealous type, these fans were wild.
She opened her instagram app, and slowly started to scroll through stories. When she stopped, went stiff. “Oh” she muttered, her girlfriend’s teammate, Aaliyah, had posted a story with the Uconn women’s basketball team having fun ,at what she would guess, a bar. Paige is in the background , a girl sitting next to her, whiles shes on the phone. Y/n quickly checked when the story was posted,10minutes ago.
‘Okay so she could’ve just posted this when she came home’ y/n quickly assured herself. Paige wouldn’t just ignore her calls, especially on a night out, right?
As those thoughts filled her head, a notification sound came from her phone.
pb 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽
gm baby. can’t talk, tired, going to bed.
y/n didn’t think anything, she couldn’t. She just typed ‘sweet dreams💗’ and hit send.
no i love you, no ily, not even an emoji.
‘Stop, don’t overthink this ,shes just tired’ she told herself. She shut her phone off and got out of bed, leaving her thoughts about P in her comfy bed.
:
It had been a month since the bar incident, and everything seemed normal, until a week ago.
Y/n just got out of work, a small intern job to help her graduate early. It was 6pm in Milan, and 12 in Storrs.On her way home, y/n called P.
The phone rang, 1,2,3 times before she hung up. Tried a gain, 1,2,3. User is busy.Paige had hung up on her, she didn’t think much of it. ‘She’s probs busy’.
That was 6 days ago.
While they exchange texts, no calls were made this week. Paige was busy, like really busy, But not busy ‘not go out with her friends for the 3rd time this week’ busy. Y/n got it, freshman year, new teammates, she had to have fun. She also knew that their relationship was on the down low. Even though she assured Paige that it was okay to tell her teammates, P reluctantly agreed. ‘I don’t know, i’ll see’ She muttered to y/n, 2 weeks ago on their normal facetime call.
Y/n didn’t want to think much of it, she didn’t want her overthinking to brew a fight. The last 2 years she was back home, her and paige had never gone a day without speaking to each other, but so what it stopped now?, it was common sometimes to not call. So she let it be, but Paiges text became more and more rare,more dry and definitely more weird.
But y/n knew, paige was just busy.
Girl you always catch me at the bad time (Bad time)
When I know you probably think it's a lie (A lie)
I know I told you last time was the last time (Last time)
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?
On the other end of the phone. Y/n hit the red button, and ended the call. She hit her head on the wall behind her in frustration, thankful that the call wasn’t on facetime and Paige could see her sad face.
Y/n had called in sick at work so she could watch Paiges game in peace, her boss gave her an earful, because it was one of the more busier seasons in the fashion world, but she let her be ‘sick in bed’. She was proud of Paige, and was the happiest for her.
But the mood drifted when she heard the voice tell her they need her. ‘I need her too’ Y/n thought. This was the first time in a month that Y/n heard Paiges voice. Her heart clenched when she heard her sound weird, it sounded like she was frustrated. Frustrated with who though, with y/n?.
As time went quick, it felt like Paiges texts were more rare, and even more dry. And Y/n didn’t know if Paige was aware of the way she was acting, she also didn’t know if she should say anything, Paige was a freshman in college having fun, alone,without Y/n next to her.
If Y/n were to say anything, she didn’t want to seem like the bitchy jealous girlfriend that only wanted Paige to spend time with her, she just wanted Paige to spend some time with her.
It felt like their relationship was a bomb, and their time was running out quickly.
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline? (Flatline)
Cause when I hit you, you don't even reply (Reply)
How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?
Not breathing, what is it I'm not seeing
Said she's leaving, damn I can't believe it
It's like my heart's bleeding knowing that you don't need me
Shut my heart down, now I don't know what Imma do now
“… i just need some space y/n” Paige said with frustration, a sigh coming after. Y/n’s heart dropped.
It all started an hour and a half ago.
Paige went out with her teammates after a late night practice, forgetting that y/n was waiting on her phone call that she promised she would do after practice.
After she came home, she was bombarded with messages from Y/n. 8 to be exact.
y/n💍
hey did you finish practice?
- 8:15PM
you ready?
- 8:18PM
paige?
- 8:20PM
paigeeeeeeee???
- 8:30PM
pbabyyyy
- 8:35PM
pls tell me u didn’t forget
- 8:45PM
paige are you fucking kidding me
- 9:45PM
it’s our anniversary
- 9:45PM
call me when you get home and make sure you’re not busy
- 9:50PM
And when she called, the yelling happened. It was the first fight they’ve had in a while. While Y/n finally exploded demanding to know what’s happening with her, Paige only had one thing to say.
“I think we should take a break”
“What?” Y/n whispered after a long pause.
“i’m not ready to be in a relationship Y/n/n, i’m still questioning what i want, and i don’t know if its you yet.” Paige said. “I’m sorry, i just need some space Y/n”
Y/n heart dropped, she didn’t know what to say or think. While Y/n knew that not everything lasted, Paige was a sure thing. Paige was her lifeline. What was she going to do?.
Y/n gulped and said the only thing she knew she could say “It’s okay”.
‘It’s okay?’ Paige was taken back. Had Y/n want to breakup before?, and then Paige shockingly felt hurt in her chest, her stomach slightly dropped. Why was she feeling like this? why isn’t she feeling relief?. This has been on Paiges mind for the past 3 months, wasn’t this the solution?
“Go be a superstar but don’t expect me to wait for you while you figure out what you want to do” Y/n said, her voice sweet. Not even a slight tone of bitterness.
Y/n still wasn’t able to move from her spot on the kitchen counter. Tears were streaming down her face, and before a sob sound could come, she hung up the phone. All Y/n knew was Paige, but know she didn’t even know that.
She had literally left her clueless, without her lifeline. now flatline.
- 5 MONTHS LATER -
Paige stood there, watching from her afar.
“That’s her?” a croatian accent asked. She felt Nika sit beside her. “Yeah” Paige answered still in awe of her.
“She’s really pretty” Nika said. Paige nodded agreeing with her. She was wearing a flowy white short summer dress with cowboy boots.
It was Drews birthday today, and as the team had some off time, Drew invited them to his barbecue party. And the weekend before his birthday, he ran into Y/n. Of course the boy was oblivious to the breakup and while he asked still asked Paige for Y/n, she didn’t have the heart to tell him that they broke up.
So when Drew begged Y/n to come to his birthday party, Y/n didn’t know what else to say but yes. He could literally get whatever he wanted out of everyone.
At first, Y/n debated if she should just call Paiges stepmom and cancel, or she should just go and pray that Paige couldn’t make it.
Well, Paige had come. And so did the rest of the huskies. When Y/n saw them, she sighed. Although she was friends with Azzi, she didn’t know the rest of them, but by the look on their faces when she came in, she knew that Paige had told them her history.
Azzi, being the sweetheart she is, excitedly came running to Y/n and hugging her tight. The whole party they caught up with each other, with Azzi telling her about Uconn and Y/n telling her about studying abroad. For the past 30 minutes they’ve been talking, not once have either of them mentioned Paige.
Y/n turned, meeting Paiges eyes. The two of them made eye contact with each other again. Y/n then heard Azzi laughed, when she snapped her head to look at her friend. She saw a small teasing smile on her face. “Don’t even start” Y/n said, glaring at her. She got up and made her way to the other side of the backyard, where there was no Paige in sight.
“Y/n/n” she heard a child scream. Drew was suddenly hugging her legs. “Hi Drewsky” she laughed, beginning to tickle him. She felt the boy starting to laugh, and start to kick her hands away, while Paige and her were together, Drew became a big part in their relationship. Paiges parents often made Paige babysit Drew, and Y/n just tagged along. Through that time, Drew and Y/n became close, Y/n considered him as a baby brother. She would miss him.
“Paigeyy help me” Drew screamed laughing. Y/n became stiff, the hair behind her neck stood. She could feel her ex behind her as she let the little boy go and stand up.
Paige and Y/n stared at one another. Paige was thankful her teammates weren’t around right now, they would be on her ass all day after this.
“Hi” Y/n whispered, looking away from her and to the ground.
“Hey” Paige said back. “How’ve you been-“
“Paige please no small talk, what do you want?” Y/n cut her off. This was already awkward enough, no need to make it even more.
“Uh” Paige stuttered, a sigh coming after. “I missed you” Paige admitted. Y/n’s blood boiled, now she missed me?
Paige could sense Y/n anger, she placed a hand on Y/n elbow, tugging her from leaving. “Please just wait” Paige pleaded “I’m sorry, i just didn’t know what to do i kept having all of this kind of feelings and i know i was busy but i swear just one more chance-“
“Paige” y/n cut her off
“- and i’ll promise i’ll try harder-“ paige continued
“-stop-“ she tried to stop her
“please just give me one more chance”
“-okay” she agreed. Paiges eyes went wide, she didn’t think she would get her to agree that easy.
“I only needed you to apologize P, i only want you to make some time for me thats all. And if were really trying this again you have to be sure you want this because i don’t know if i can handle loosing you again” She said still looking at the ground.
Paiges heart dropped hearing her voice break. Although she knew how Y/n felt, Paige had been nothing but moody,grumpy and miserable these past few months. Seeing Y/n today, brought her hope that she had a second shot with her.
Y/n slowly picked up her head, and looked up at Paige. Paige was jaw dropping hot, and she knew that, her head couldn’t get any bigger by her ego.
Paige reached a hand towards her waist, pulling Y/n towards her. When she did, she slowly dropped a sweet kiss on her girlfriends lips, when she pulled away, her forehead dropped to Y/n’s.
She felt like she could finally breathe, her chest no longer hurt. She had her lifeline back.
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misunhye · 11 hours
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DREAM( )SCAPE
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HIGHLIGHTS
when she first heard the demo, she didn’t think it’d be her favorite song ever 😭 but she ended up really liking it!
misun wrote a little bit of box and unknown !!
and so her ranking goes unknown > breathing > box > smoothie > icantfeelanything > carat cake 🤭
her hair was blonde this era!! she had a moment where she had pink hair ?? but then it was back to blonde so like??
she did multiple tiktoks with other idols !! txt’s taehyun, kiss of life’s julie, illit’s yunah and minju. even idols that weren’t promoting like aespa’s karina
she was on the k-star next door with jaemin, jeno, chenle and jisung 🎉 she loves jonathan it was so fun
she met zb1’s hanbin who she knew already bc she was the one who got chenle to watch LOL she was also a sung hanbin stan ^_^
misun was on eunchae’s star diary LOL it was fun misun had to do most of the talking and she insisted eunchae called her unnie. and like of course eunchae had to say misun and chaewon looked like twins…
eunchae: misun unnie, you and my chaewon unnie look alike
misun: … i have no clue what youre talking about *literally clueless*
eunchae: ??? … okay anyways
okay and when they had their fansign (240407 withmuu fansign), misun had like ?? sports gear on. don’t ask me what sport but you can see it below !! ↓
misun did dream vs dream with jisung!! FINALLY. jeno and her will be next, trust. (insert link here when i post it…)
she also went on inssadong sulzzi with lee chaeyeon!! she had sm fun and she loves interacting with other idols
she wanted to go on jaefriends but figured sm would’ve told her no
she also kinda hinted to a nct xs comeback?? she posted multiple pics of the girls in the practice room and studio on her instagram story but no comeback news yet
she’s super excited for tds3!!! she enjoyed spoiling the setlist with chenle
smoothie era was rather eventful for her? she tried her best not to go on social media and mostly just interacted with fans through weverse. it was her safe space
as soon as smoothie promos were over, though, she went silent lol per usual
surprisingly no headline worthy dating rumors this era!!
icantfeelanything teasers
SMOOTHIE OUTFITS
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PHOTOCARDS
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LEFT TO RIGHT: icantfeelanything, smoothie
POPULAR FANSITE SHOTS
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LINES
icantfeelanything
Erased from my mind [ 0:50 — 0:52 ]
두려움을 딛어
자신을 믿어 [ 0:59 — 1:02 ]
Erased from my mind [ 1:40 — 1:41 ]
Smoothie
가차 없이 비틀어 논 다음
삼켜 sip, watch how I blend it up [ 0:15 — 0:19 ]
Smoothie, smoothie, smoothie
Smoothie, smoothie, smoothie
가볍게 씹어 삼켜
Smoothie, smoothie
Smoothie, smoothie [ 0:53 — 1:01 ]
Shower that in all this ice
결국엔 녹아 fade out [ 1:15 — 1:20 ]
거칠게 mess up, yeah [ 1:50 — 1:53 ]
달콤함만 기대한 적 없어 난 [ 2:26 — 2:30 ]
(가볍게 씹어 삼켜 smoothie) [ 2:53 — 2:56 ]
BOX
Nobody lockin' me up [ 0:37 — 0:39 ]
더 자유롭게
멈추지 않을래, ooh [ 2:06 — 2:12 ]
Carat Cake
넌 못 감춰 saying "Wow!"
외쳐 asking how [ 0:22 — 0:25 ]
That's a carat cake [ 1:01 — 1:02 ]
Oh, 손에 잡힌 그 순간 [ 1:35 — 1:36 ]
투명한 그 빛 hit the heart likе clink [ 1:58 — 2:00 ]
UNKNOWN
Why'd you ever doubt it?
No never be scared of trying [ 0:27 — 0:30 ]
Dive in, dive in, into the unknown [ 1:01 — 1:04 ]
다시 널 찾아가 into the unknown [ 1:10 — 1:12 ]
Don't change, let go
Be brave, be strong
But take it easy, no rush
I know you got it [ 1:58 — 2:05 ]
But take it easy, no rush
I know you got it [ 2:48 — 2:51 ]
(I know you try) [ 3:20 — 3:23 ]
Breathing
아주 당연했던 감각, oh
잊어버린 것만 같아, oh [ 0:36 — 0:41 ]
I've been searching for another meaning
나아갈 수 있을까 [ 0:55 — 1:01 ]
I know I'm no good without you
Baby, can you stay all night? [ 2:50 — 2:53 ]
따스해
마주 잡은 손 느낄 때
And my heart starts beating [ 3:55 — 4:04 ]
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kitchenisking · 2 days
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Day 4
Seires Fic Rec part 14
Queer Your Coffee by alisvolatpropiis - (Queer Your Coffee) - (Rating: Not Rated, Words: 3,084, sterek)
Derek's just over the city line when he sees a sign for an independent drive-thru place, Full Spectrum Brew. There are three cars in line when he turns in, which annoys him but gives him hope. Not that he really trusts the people of Beacon Hills to have much taste when it comes to coffee (god, he is a snob), but the shop’s popularity does seem to bode well. The line of cars moves way more slowly than he’d like, each customer in front of him seeming to take way too long to order, and then lingering when they get their coffee. He’s irritable from lack of sleep and an even more detrimental lack of caffeine, anxious to get out of the car. Finally it’s his turn and he slowly rolls up to the window, turning the radio down.
For a second, he thinks he must have fallen asleep while he was waiting, because what he sees when he looks in the window surely must be a dream.
Stunning brown eyes like glowing honey and sweet little nose, slightly upturned; a shapely pink mouth, bottom-lip pierced by a thin black hoop that he's worrying with the tip of his tongue as he smiles a gorgeous hello.
He's the most beautiful man Derek's ever seen.
And he’s shirtless.
It's a Beautiful Night by khasael - (Hale and Hearty) - (Rating: T, Words: 2,887, sterek)
Just because they're all almost used to fighting against the Creature of the Week and assorted other Bad Guys, doesn't mean it doesn't get Stiles's heart rate going.
Dream a Little Dream by Yoiko - (A Little Dream of Me ) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,101, sterek)
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. And since this is my dream you’re going to let me do it.”
All things share the same breath - the beast, the tree, the man. by devilscut - (There are nights when the wolves are silent and the moon howls.) - (Rating: Mature, Words: 11,687, sterek)
A shell-shocked Stiles regroups with the pack to find his father who has been kidnapped by the Darach. Their search leads them to the Nematon, where their confrontation with the Darach reveals her plans and that there is more to being a True Alpha than they know. Derek and his family's legacy is at the heart of her schemes and when the Darach has him under her control Stiles begins to realise the extent of how much he really cares for the sourwolf. In true Scooby-doo fashion, the villain has told them of her plans but more shockingly to Stiles she also reveals a very important aspect of his and Derek's relationship.
The virtue of patience by nofeartina - (Patience) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 11,827, sterek)
Stiles isn't afraid of admitting his feelings to Derek, but that doesn't mean that Derek wants to hear it. 
Or the one where Stiles knows that all good things come to those who wait.
I Feel Like You Can't Feel the Way I Feel by i_might_be_in_over_my_head - ( Einherjar MC ) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 14,087, sterek)
“Fuckin A, dude! The last time you gave me that look I ended up in the woods in the middle of the night, lost my inhaler, and almost died. Please tell me why you’re always trying to get me killed?” Scott shook his head resigned. He knew Stiles was going in and nothing he could say would change that. “If we wake up dead tomorrow just remember this was your idea.”
Stiles threw his fist in the air enthusiastically, almost punching Scott in the face, and turned to the door. He knew if he didn’t go quick Scott would probably change his mind and he’d have to start all over. “Dude that was sophomore year of high school, let it go! Plus dead body! We had to go. We’ll just have a drink and check it out. It’ll be fun!”
fingertips have memories by thatworldinverted - (let's talk about sex ) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,800, sterek)
Pochemuchka (Russian), noun: a person who asks a lot of questions. 
"I saw the way you watched me, when I was home last month. How long have you been dreaming about getting me on my knees?"
seems to me it's chemistry by HalfFizzbin - (covalent bonds) - (Rating: T, Words: 4,153, sterek)
Awkward Nerd Derek has been crushing on Handsome Jock Stiles since forever—so getting paired with him on a Chemistry project is definitely the best/worst thing that's ever happened to him.
These next two fics go hand in hand. 😇
The One with All the Kids by Itsreallyjustforresearch83 - (Rating: G, Words: 6,527, sterek)
Derek didn't know what he did to deserve to have this again. A house full of people, of family. He's going to be forever grateful to that rouge witch for what she did for him and Stiles, because after all the hurt they went through together, many years later, they're standing in the Pack house, in their house, surrounded by their family.
A New Hale by Itsreallyjustforresearch83 - (Rating: G, Words: 4,543, sterek)
The Pack meets the werewolf cub that Stiles and Derek gets placed with them on Christmas.
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⋆ 𝓐𝔃𝓾𝓵 𝓐𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸: 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓜𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓜𝓮 𝓢𝓸 𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 ⋆
Please note: This is a repost from my old blog, @sugarcookiesheep!
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⋆ You had never been with anyone like Azul before. How dedicated he was, how hardworking he was. He had dreams that he would always strive for, creating goals for himself and planning whenever he could. His business, the Mostro Lounge, meant everything to him, and you would support him however you could. Over time you began to realize just how important you were to him, how he considered you a priority just like the Lounge, if not moreso. He made you feel cherished, treasured, like you were the only person in the room. You had seen him at his lowest, at his most vulnerable, and you never took the trust he has for you for granted. There was no one but you in his eyes, no one else could ever compare.
⋆ He would go to you first whenever he had an idea or business plan, wanting to know your opinion. Even if it was as simple as changing decor or adding new items to the menu, your thoughts mattered to him most. You would have fun sitting at the table reserved specifically for yourself and Azul, taste testing new dishes and drinks he was considering. The table was tucked away in the corner, secluded to give you both privacy. As soon as you entered the lounge the staff would greet you, recognizing you immediately. They would inform Azul of your arrival, knocking on the door to his office and letting him know.
⋆ Whether he was expecting you or not, his mood would always brighten whenever you stopped by, leaving his office to greet you. He would take your hands in his, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as he asked how you were. He would put his arm around your waist as he walked you to your table, his hand resting on your lower back. He would be focused solely on you, his eyes never leaving you as he pulled out your chair. Once you were seated he would go to his seat, sitting across from you.
⋆ There was a candle in the middle of the table, shining in the dim lights of the lounge. It made your meet up feel more intimate, giving a romantic atmosphere. He would have his hand resting in the middle of the table, palm facing up. He did this every time you sat across from each other, wanting to hold your hand. You didn’t even think as you put your hand in his, doing so out of habit.
⋆ Servers would bring you various dishes and drinks one by one, Azul explaining each as you tried them. Throughout the night you began to notice a pattern, looking towards him as your heart raced. The drinks were made using your favorite fruits, the dishes with your tastes and dietary needs in mind. These new items were meant for you, you realized. He created them thinking of you.
⋆ He noticed your staring, wondering if there was something wrong with the current dish you were trying. Before he could say anything you leaned across the table, kissing him softly. You thanked him as you sat back down, looking at him affectionately. He laughed lightly, saying it was no problem as he mentions how you must have noticed the trend with the new items. You nod your head, Azul going into detail about what the inspiration was for each new thing. Details that you hadn’t even considered, like one of the drinks being your favorite color, or one of the dishes being a recreation of your favorite meal growing up. The thought and care blew you away, leaving you speechless. You didn’t think it was possible to fall even more in love with him, but here you were, falling for him all over again.
⋆ “You make me so happy, Azul” you say, sounding a bit emotional. His breath hitches, squeezing your hand lightly. He felt frozen under your loving gaze, his heart pounding at your words. He clears his throat, his face a light pink as he thinks for a moment. When he responds his voice is just as emotional as yours, his gaze unwavering,
“I…could never repay you for all the happiness you have brought me, even if I tried. I will do my best though, for as long as you’ll allow me.” ♡
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Originally posted: February 20th, 2024
𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡
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ecliphttlunar · 4 hours
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If you are not - Chris Sturniolo
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Summary: you had been separated for weeks, and you were both suffering, and you wanted each other, until all this suffering ended when you had the chance to meet again once again.
Warnings: angst, comfort, kisses, mention of unrequited love, cute
Author's notes: This is my work, I do not authorize any plagiarism, copying or “inspiration”. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical errors. This is part 2 of Friends
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
Since that night, Chris has been losing his mind, and you've been trying to convince yourself that you did the right thing.
You two were lost in a maze of emotions, Chris was missing you, and he was going crazy.
And you were wondering what was wrong with you when you left.
This loneliness was making you cold.
Chris tried not to let it get him down, going out to parties, talking and hooking up with girls.
For others, you had become just another person.
But Chris knew better.
He was always, even though he knew it was wrong, comparing other girls to you.
They weren't pretty like you.
They weren't fun like you.
They weren't as nice as you, they didn't get along as well with his brothers as you did, they didn't stay in his head like you did, they didn't have your smile, the sparkle in your eyes, the soft hair like yours, the features of your face like yours.
They weren't you.
Chris was now with his friends and brothers, all on the couch watching a movie while drops of water fell to the ground and thunder accompanied the rain.
You were always afraid of storms, always finding comfort in Chris's arms, his soft voice in your ear, and the stupid jokes that made you laugh.
But now you weren't in his arms, and Chris began to feel afraid of the storm, the terrifying sounds the thunder made.
Looking out the window, watching the rain fall, he realized that, again, he was thinking about you.
But he couldn't be surprised by it.
He was obsessed with you.
What had you done with him?
And he felt it again, that poison inside him.
Longing. He missed you.
And you? You were lying in your bed, with a blanket over your body to keep you warm, but you still felt cold.
You were cold, alone, and scared to sleep.
Because whenever you slept, you remembered those eyes.
Those damn eyes.
Whenever you slept, it felt like you went back in time, always having the same dream.
First, you saw his eyes.
He was there, in front of you, smiling at you, you were holding hands, and soon you hugged each other, your lips touched and your hand went to his hair.
Until you woke up and realized it was all a dream.
Just a dream.
And now, you were scared to sleep.
You knew that in your thoughts, he would remain, at all times you would remember the sparkle in those eyes.
You closed your eyes and couldn't forget him.
Damn gods.
You thought about him, even when you were with someone.
Attractive, fun men, they knew how to talk to you, they made you laugh.
But the story was always the same.
At some point or another, you would start comparing that man to Chris.
You always thought about him.
Even though you were with someone, you thought.
It wasn't him.
You were losing your mind, going completely crazy, feeling different emotions at the same time.
Until one day, destiny brought you together again.
And finally you realized.
It was inevitable.
The destiny had already been written.
It was supposed to be you and Chris.
It all happened when Nick asked you to participate in a new video.
And you said yes.
You knew you should say no.
But everything was a disaster, and you just wanted to see him.
Find out how he is.
And you couldn't wait any longer, and now you were 5 minutes away from loving him again.
One last time.
You parked your car in front of their house but stayed in the car.
His hands shook as they gripped the steering wheel tightly.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath, finally getting out of the car and walking towards the front door of the house.
You had been standing in front of the door for more than 5 minutes, trying to find the courage to knock.
Your hand was shaking as you raised it for the tenth time, about to knock on the door.
But you lowered it again, and raised it, and repeated these movements several times.
Until, before you had time to understand what you were doing, you knocked on the door.
After a few seconds it opened, revealing him.
Chris.
He swallowed hard, not believing the ghost in front of him.
You were really there.
When Nick said you were coming for the new video, Chris froze, and thought it was a lie.
But he remembered that his brothers didn't know exactly what had happened between you, so for you to show up at his house was something that could happen.
And there you were, in front of him.
Chris had prepared a speech for you, and now, this speech was going through his mind, he needed to talk to you.
It was simple, he just needed to say it, but it felt like their lips had been glued together.
Even if he tried, they wouldn't open up.
He froze in place.
Until his lips came loose, and he stood there in front of you, opening and closing his mouth.
You were confused.
And he was embarrassed, he was making a fool of himself now, in front of you.
He just closed his lips and eyes tightly, lowering his head.
He stayed in that position for a while, and when a small spark of courage appeared, still with his head down, he whispered.
"I'm sorry" the first words of the speech had been spoken, and now, he just needed to say the rest.
And now, he thought it would be a little easier, he had managed to start, he just needed to finish.
But he couldn't, because he forgot all the words he had prepared as soon as he raised his head and saw your watery eyes.
You didn't want to cry, but as soon as those words escaped his mouth, and you realized the conversation they were going to have, you couldn't help it, you tried to remain firm, but your eyes started to water.
His heart broke when he saw you in that fragile state.
But he needed to continue, even if it was difficult, he needed to, because you had given him permission to talk, you were listening to him, and he wanted, he needed to have you back.
So, he continued, even though he didn't know what he was saying, he continued, transforming all these emotions he felt these last few weeks into words.
"I'm sorry, I.." he closes his eyes.
Now it was his emotions that were trying to surface, his voice broke and he wondered if he could speak.
He needed to speak. Or he would lose you again, and maybe he wouldn't have another chance like this.
He lets out a shaky breath, and continues.
"I'm normally not the type of person to stay up all night thinking about someone, but since that night, I haven't been able to sleep, it's kind of hard to sleep peacefully, when your heart is on the line, the truth is I'm going through hell since you left, because in my head it's always been you, my heart is in your hands, desperate because no one can take it from you, you're on my damn mind and I can't fight it."
You tried to hold back the tears, but at this point you were already sobbing, because you were going through hell too.
You were feeling the same way he felt.
He approaches you, and when you don't back away, he takes your face in his hands.
He takes a deep breath, trying to control his emotions.
At that moment, he was handing you a knife, while you held his heart.
Waiting to see what you would do.
Whether you would throw away the knife, and keep his heart, or whether you would kill him.
"I'm tired of playing with myself, thinking there's someone else, I dated girls, and I tried to write the story my way, but if it's not you, it's a lie."
“Chris” You whisper his name but he stops you.
You were so close now, noses touching, lips millimeters apart.
"I'm sorry for not realizing sooner, for not telling you that I loved you, I'm so sorry." He whispers.
You breathe, calling his name again, and again, and again.
You were a wreck.
"I thought it was some kind of one-sided love, unrequited love." You whisper.
"No honey, I just didn't realize it, but now I see it, I love you."
You let out a small laugh, finding it funny what the lack of communication did to you.
"I love you too Chris."
And with those 4 words, Chris felt his heart beat again, faster than ever.
You still loved him.
Chris felt the air returning to his lungs as he smiled.
You missed that smile.
Of course, you and Chris knew that everything wasn't resolved, you would have to talk more, resolve some other things that hadn't yet been resolved, and explain a lot of things to each other.
But at that moment, you just wanted him to dry your tears and kiss you.
And that's exactly what he did.
He kissed you, but it wasn't like other times, where you were at a party kissing because of sexual desires.
He kissed you because he loved you. And he put all this love he felt for you into that kiss.
And you like it.
You separated, and looked at each other, both eyes reflecting love.
And in that moment, you understood.
That before, no matter how much you loved each other, you still didn't know how to love.
That's why it was necessary for you to separate, so that you could learn.
And you learned.
You holding each other, smiling at each other, your eyes shining with love, it was proof that you had learned how to love each other.
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
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writing-whump · 21 hours
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I'm in the fluffiest mood lately, so how about a no stakes sickfic. Movie night and the trip (Matt, Sel/Zaya) are home and decide to put on something like spiderverse or smth else, point being, either Isaiah or Matt gets super motion sick from it
Something fluffy it is. Thank you for the ask, Soup!!💙
Cinema sickness
The middle position was the best.
Matthew didn't notice when exactly they started to fight for it like that, but it was increasingly a place one of them got as special treat.
Like of course, when Isaiah was having his not so heart episodes that Seline still didn't know the cause of or when he was emotional. Then it wad Seline herself with a fever. She also usurped the spot most openly when she was well.
Matthew was a little too embarrassed to be that forward. Not when he was feeling fine.
They bought a camera projector they have been saving for a few months. Seline dreamed about the home cinema early on and Isaiah was such a movie buff, it was only to be expected.
Matthew found the cinema experience tiresome because of all the people, so their own private living room cinema because of the projector? Sounded fun. Though the cinema made for good people training.
"You guys didn't watch the second Spiderverse movie yet, right?" Seline said, taking control of the chromcast with her phone to put it on.
"I didn't see the first one either," Matthew grumbled as she climbed up between him and Isaiah who was scrolling through IMDb. He had a thing for ratings, while Seline loved comments and spoilers.
Matthew considered himself the only sane and commonly invested movie person. He liked to get surprised.
"The animation is out of this world. The first movie got an Oscar for it too, but they went overboard and beyond with the second. Each universe has a different animation style! It's the perfect movie for a cinema." Seline waved her phone in front of Matthew enthusiastically.
"Isn't animation for children?"
Isaiah and Seline both gave him scandalised looks. "In what hole did you live until now for such an outdated opinion?" Isaiah asked teasingly.
Matthew rolled his eyes. Didn't look like he would have a say today.
"I don't think you need the first one to understand," Seline said thoughtfully as she put the movie on. "They explain it pretty well, plus I can always explain things to you if you need it."
"You are still more of a fan of the first one, aren't you?" Isaiah said, bumping against her. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, all three of them.
"I think the character development is simply better there? Also the relationships. The focus on bad mentor and a confused kid and different father figured...this one goes more into the romance storyline-"
"The focus just shifts from him to her's all-"
Matthew shook his head. "Alright, quit it. I want to see for myself."
The movie looked like a very expensive video game. The animation really was something else. Matthew understood quickly they would not be able to film stuff like this for real.
So many colours and so much quick movement. Their living room wall was basically flickering, going from one side of the colour spectrum to the next at rapid speed that had his head spinning.
How could there be so much happening on the screen? It was downright impossible to catch it all.
His eyes felt tired from it. It was all so fast and coupled with the music it was downright aggressive.
Matthew didn't notice when, but the left side of his head felt like someone held it in a vice grip. The more he watched and tried to make sense of what was happening, the more his left temple pounded in unison with his heart.
He found himself shaking his head to clear his vision, rubbing at the side of his face. He even tried closing one eye and then the other. But the images just kept coming and there was some kind of dramatic scene with spidermen all over the screen and damn, his head really hurt.
Seline was leaning her head against Isaiah's shoulder, her legs stretched out and touching them both. Her lap seemed very inviting.
Matt leaned to the side experimentally. He wanted to go slow and see how that would be taken, but the possibility of getting some cover from the screen was getting more irresistible by the second.
He slumped down into Seline's lap, twisting so his face was against her stomach. The lights were all over the living room, reaching even to the windows and the kitchen. No hiding from them.
Matthew closed his eyes, face buried in Seline's belly. He secured her from squirming with his arm over her torso, stretched out all the way to Isaiah's tight. If the other wolf wanted to protest or made any move of displeasure, Matt would quickly notice from that position.
His head hurt. Why just the left side of his face? It was tingling.
Everything was moving too much. The dizzying spinning sensation didn't quite go away, although he had his eyes squeezed shut and wasn't looking.
Not to mention he was starting to feel vaguely queasy, his dinner sloshing in his stomach angrily.
"Mattie, you aren't watching," Seline admonished softly. Her hand went into his hair though, petting it softly. He melted under her touch, grateful for a pleasant feeling to focus on.
Suddenly there was the incredible sound of the movie stopping.
"Matt? You tired?" Isaiah asked, shifting somewhere behind his head.
"Mhhhhhhhhmmmm." Was he that obvious? Suspicious? He wanted to stay huddled there in the softness, thanks.
Isaiah's hand landed on his arm. The older wolf reserved his touches for when Matthew felt sick. But they were so physically close these days, because of Seline of course, no other reason, Matthew kind of craved it, even when he didn't need it.
Or maybe it would count now. But he didn't want to ruin the celebratory mood by being a baby. It was a stupid children's movie, for God's sake.
"We can just call it a night, I think. Continuation tomorrow," Isaiah suggested, ever the peace keeper trying to accommodate everyone.
It sounded nice to not continue the movie in any case. But going to bed created a new set of problems.
Matthew would have to move.
Seline wiggled under his head. "You are heavy," she said playfully. She seemed more open to the gesture than Matthew expected. For no reason at all.
Matthew hummed non-committalally not sure how to explain or escape his predicament without losing his dinner. His stomach was churning angrily and his head was still pounding, sound or not.
Isaiah chucked. "You can sleep here for all I care, but at least let the lady get her PJs."
Matthew huffed at that, but opening his mouth wasn't a good idea. A little burp escaped, muffled against Seline's ribcage.
Seline's fingers in his hair stilled. "Mattie? You feeling alright?"
Did she notice that he got burpy when he was about to spew? He could just be full. Damn it all, the risks of living with people so closely.
Another burp, this time a little louder and wetter. Matthew pressed his face closer into Seline's shirt. It smelled of rain and ozone and grapefruit.
He felt both of their gazes on him without looking. They were probably mouthing something to each other at this point. He could picture it vividly.
The pain in his left temple spiked and he moaned quietly.
Seline's cold hand cupped his nape, stroking his neck up to his cheek where she could reach.
"...If I move, I'll hurl," he admitted finally, figuring he should inform her of the danger she was currently in.
The sigh came from Isaiah though, as the raven haired man moved gently away from the sofa into the direction of the kitchen.
"What's wrong? Is your belly upset?"
Jesus, that sounded childish when she said it like that. Not to mention that weird new Mattie nickname.
"Headhurtss," he manged to get through his gritted teeth, still entirely muffled against her stomach. It was quiet, churning only gently, like a purring cat.
"Has it been hurting for long?" She sounded amazingly calm considering he was lying across her lap. "You seemed fine to me," she said with puzzlement. He could imagine the way her forehead creased, a little wrinkle between her eyebrows as she thought back about the evening.
He opened his mouth the respond, but another burp rushed out instead. Pocket of air against her stomach. Saliva was flooding his mouth.
Matthew loosed his hold on her reluctantly, turning so he would be lying on her knees. He covered his eyes with his hands. "Ow."
Seline placed her hands on both sides of his face. "Where?" Her voice was impossibly soft.
He pushed her cool hand - how was it so cool? - against the left side of his forehead.
He felt more than saw two of her fingertips on his temple, making tiny circular movements against it. She bowled over him, her lips hovering over his ear. "How is this? Should I stop?"
"No, that's nice," he said, relaxing a little. The gentle pressure felt good against the pain, though his stomach was still roiling.
Isaiah came back then, the sofa dipping under his weight as he knelt on Matthew's other side. "I got a bowl if you need it."
"Not the nice popcorn bowl, come on," Seline complained, lifting her head.
"It's big and deep," Isaiah protested, sounding amused.
Matthew groaned at the banter. The headache was giving away a bit at the message, but the nausea rose steadily no matter what he did. He felt air in his throat and spit flooding his mouth. He didn't want to move away from Seline's fingers or the attention, but his stomach cramped angrily then.
It had him shooting up into general direction of up. Except he felt dizzy right away, swaying and moaning.
Isaiah grabbed his shoulder to steady him.
Matthew held his eyes shut against the spinning of the room, trusting him to have the bowl at the right place, cause he couldn't aim. His head exploded on his left side with the sensation and puke rocketed into his mouth.
He was right to trust him. The vomit made a splashing sound against the bowl without him even looking, Isaiah holding it under hid chin.
Seline's hands came to cup his forehead from behind. "You are okay, you are okay. Just get it up."
Matthew gave in to his body completely then, a little more voluntarily at the support. His senses were all over the place. He couldn't tell which was was up and down and his left side of the face as pounding and burning from warmth.
More waves of vomit came, easier to bring up now that he wasn't fighting it. When he thought he would catch a break, a loud burp brought in one more splash and then two more. His back arched, only Isaiah's hold on his shoulder keeping him upright. The sofa was moving like a water bed.
When he was finished, he spat the rest of the foul taste and slumped blindly back into Seline's lap. He wanted her nice scent and her cool hands and the little message against his temple that had a drilling machine against it.
"Better now?" she asked, her hands on his face just like he wanted, stroking his cheek and forehead.
"Mhhhhhhhhhmmmm." There was a relief from the nausea, but he was still afraid to open his eyes.
He could vaguely sense Isaiah's movements as he got rid of the bowl, returned to position it next to Matthew. Then circled around, fitting himself into the opening between Matthew's side and the sofa.
Matthew wasn't sure when vomiting because a group activity, or if he shouldn't apologise or feel embarrassed for making a fool of himself.
He sighed contendly as Seline went back to massaging his temple. Isaiah was rubbing his arm gently, as if to remind him he was there.
And who was Matthew to refuse the middle spot?
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songbirdseung · 2 days
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from the sidelines / nishimura riki
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synopsis: after a failed attempt to chase your dreams to debut as a kpop artist, you left to pursue another career. but what's going to happen when your friend invites you to an award show and you meet your old fling?
pairing: riki x reader
warnings: failed careers, ex flings, lmk if i missed anything
wc: 740
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The dreams she once cradled in her heart had shattered like glass, leaving behind slivers of hope that she struggled to hold onto. Her journey to become a K-pop artist had been tumultuous, marked by setbacks and heartbreaks that seemed insurmountable.
The practice room was suffocating, the air thick with tension as Yn struggled to keep up with the demanding choreography. Her limbs felt like lead, refusing to obey the commands of her racing mind.
"You're off-beat again, Yn," the instructor's voice cut through the haze of frustration, his disappointment like a dagger to her heart.
"I'm sorry," Yn muttered, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.
The other trainees exchanged knowing glances, their silent judgment weighing heavily on her shoulders.
As the years passed, Yn found refuge in a new career, one that embraced her passion for storytelling. But the echoes of her abandoned dreams lingered in the corners of her mind, a constant reminder of the roads she dared not tread again.
It was a casual invitation from an old friend that thrust her back into the world she had once yearned to conquer. An award show, she was told, a celebration of talent and perseverance. Reluctantly, she agreed, unaware of the storm that awaited her.
"Come on, Yn, it'll be fun! Just like old times," Sarah pleaded, her eyes wide with excitement.
Yn hesitated, her heart heavy with memories she had long tried to bury. "I don't know, Sarah. I've moved on from all of that."
Sarah's expression softened, understanding flickering in her eyes. "I know, but this could be your chance to see how far you've come. Please, just give it a chance."
With a sigh, Yn relented, the tug of nostalgia pulling her towards a past she had fought so hard to leave behind.
The grandeur of the venue mirrored the grandiosity of the dreams that once consumed her. Surrounded by flashing cameras and swirling whispers, Yn felt like a ghost wandering through memories long buried.
And then, amidst the sea of faces, she saw him. Riki. The boy whose laughter had once danced in harmony with hers, whose touch had ignited a fire within her that she thought would never dim.
Except now, he was no longer the boy she remembered. He stood tall and confident, bathed in the spotlight of his success. As a member of ENHYPEN, he had ascended to heights that Yn could only dream of.
Their eyes met across the crowded room backstage, and for a fleeting moment, time stood still. In his gaze, Yn saw traces of the past, of a love that had once burned bright but had long since turned to ash.
When he approached her, his smile was like a bittersweet melody, stirring memories she had buried deep within her heart.
"Yn," he said, his voice soft yet tinged with a hint of sadness. "It's been a long time."
Yn nodded, unable to tear her gaze away from him. "Yes, it has."
They exchanged pleasantries, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy between them.
"I never thought I'd see you here," Riki said, his eyes searching hers for answers she couldn't give.
"I never thought I'd come," Yn admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
As the night wore on, Yn found herself drawn to him, unable to resist the pull of their shared history.
"We were so young back then," Riki said, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "Do you ever think about what could have been?"
Yn hesitated, memories flooding her mind like a torrential downpour. "Sometimes," she admitted, her voice barely audible over the din of the crowd.
In the quiet moments between conversations, Yn saw glimpses of the boy she had loved, the one who had once believed in her when she could not believe in herself.
"I'm proud of you, Yn," Riki said, his words like a balm to her wounded soul.
And as the final notes of the night faded into the darkness, Yn made her peace with the ghosts of her past. For in the heartache and the longing, she had found closure, a silent acknowledgment of the roads they choose and the ones they dare not tread again.
And as she watched him disappear into the night, Yn knew that their story was not meant to be a fairy tale. Instead, it was a chapter in the tapestry of their lives, a fleeting moment captured in the echoes of a dream.
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mothram · 6 months
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youtube
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callouiee · 6 months
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☁️
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cheekblush · 1 year
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not having any friends is truly heartbreaking
#i have no one to confide in or just simply hang out with#there's this concert i really wanted to attend but i have no one to go with and tickets are already sold out anyways#but the point is not having friends stops me from having fun experiences#sure you could argue that i could have fun experiences by myself but it's still not the same if you can't share it with someone#i went on a solo trip this summer and while it was liberating & enjoyable it was also incredibly lonely#i also went to a festival by myself & unfortunately it was horrible bc i got nauseous & it was scary being all alone#thankfully i got back to my hotel safely in the middle of the night but i definitely would've felt better & safer if i wasn't alone#i feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things bc i don't have friends & it's just so alienating bc i think smth is fundamentally wrong..#.. with me bc i don't have a single genuine friend while others have whole friend groups#this also makes me miss my ex best friend even more & i'm contemplating reaching out to her again...#i feel like a beaten dog that always comes back around no matter how badly i was treated bc i just want some love 😔 💔#like i was the one who ended things with my ex best friend bc i was tired of being treated like a doormat & constantly having my..#.. boundaries disrespected but now i'd rather have that back then have no friends at all which is awful i know 😭#my ex best friend also isn't a bad person but she hurt me a lot & at the end when things got really bad i think we were both not good for..#each other.. but now i'm reminiscing about all the wonderful things we experienced together & i miss it so much :(#we had so many things in common we went to so many concerts together & had so much fun & now i'm all by myself all the time 😔#the thing is also she was always a social butterfly & has many friends so i doubt she even misses me#i still didn't delete her from my contacts & i recently saw she finally fulfilled her dream of going to america#i feel like she is living her best life & i'm just here being miserable & lonely nothing has really improved for me#i wouldn't even be surprised if she's going to that concert i wanted to attend bc it's one of her favorite artists as well#i just feel so unlovable and alone in this world... i wish i could restart my whole life or disappear altogether tbh#sorry for the negativity if anyone reads this i'm just really upset..#i should stop making myself even more depressed i'm supposed to be studying anyways..#and tonight i'm attending our company's christmas party i hope i'll at least have a little fun there..#☁️
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spotlightstudios · 11 months
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It is... *checks time* ONE HOUR before I might've been late for this, but...
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@dyson-the-vacuum ??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You have joined the realm of the adults, and I had to make something to celebrate! (Plus, self-indulgent oc interacts again!)
Everyone who's following me and has no context, Icarus (character in foreground) belongs to Dyson, and the man himself has completed another year of his life, so! Go follow him or smth! Really great artist! Just... go spam like him and share his art or smth!
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sysig · 9 months
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I have made
the rough
of an improv card game
#It's late and I'm feeling impulsive it's fine#My subconsious offered a story-driven randomized roleplay game in a dream last night#The dream version was obviously fancier but for a rough draft it is cute as fuck#Made with two pieces of paper (I just realized I can make more cards from the scrap of one of them heeheehoohoo)#I've made the board and 12 cards as the starter pack and they're all adorable#The board is just a simple L-shaped grid with seven spaces - the dream version had something close to double that#I think making it modular/with expansions similar to card packs (lol) would make it infinitely replayable and expandable#Not that a longer game with more players would necessarily be more fun but it's still something you could do! Lol#Recommended number of players on the current model is 3+ with one of the players acting as the GM#The full version is also 3+ but with a little more wiggle room for early game - I think it could comfortably host 5+ including the GM?#Anyway the plot is a whodunit where the third player (including the GM) plays as the murderer - their goal is to get away with the murder#While the other players' goal is to find out who did it and why and then apprehend the criminal#It's not as set in stone as Clue - like there's no murder weapons or necessary locations - all that part is improv#The cards are all either Character or Location cards - Characters are easy to understand archetypes that the player has to embody#But depending on the order players draw cards determines what role they play in the story - so say they pull the Mad Scientist card#If they pull first then the Mad Scientist is the host of the party that the murder occurs at - if they pull second then the Scientist dies#And so on#So anyway I finished all the art for the Characters (9) and Locations (3) and they're all adorable I love them#I tried to make most of them gender neutral or at least open to interpretation but a couple of them lean a bit more one way#It'd be silly but the idea of special edition cards with alternate art to lessen the disappointment of getting a double sounds fun haha#Anyway - I'm gonna see if I can playtest it tomorrow :)
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Asia Kate Dillon as Lucifer again in Opus For All, Opus 4, Our Better Angels
#call this Confusing Compromise for all...focusing on shots of akd & adding text. these are sequential but not continuous moments lol#i.e. hope it's disjointed enough / it is clear there's other shots & more dialogue b/w these#might be possible to fit this whole video into one gifset lol. make them smaller; longer; combine some side by side into one...#just wanna give a lil taste of that dialogue / enhance visuals with Some context. evocative enough i hope#asia kate dillon#lucifer our better angels#could've put a caption like [resolving heavenly chord] lol if i knew what chord it is exactly...not nearly knowledgable enough to guess#the [ending on that chord and cutting away just as lucifer looks like they're about to cry]....chefs? kiss#there's just so much to dig into here and then start speculating about in your own continued story for it lol so fun truly#like i said: boy i love when the devil is a dynamic character atheistic satanism style i.e. exploring the / A human experience through them#and like i said b/w the mysteries lucifer and this lucifer we can have it all / cover so much ground w/akd lucifers....#the other night i think i had a dream that it was just a fun fact they'd also been lucifer some third time lmao...i wish#speaking of wishing one of these gifs is 9.9 mb and i'm just making it tumblr's problem. so i hope it actually works#sooo embarrassing if it's frozen on the first frame and i gotta fix it lol. don't look at me...but tell me fr if i don't notice#potentially tricky b/c it's like ''is it just my slowass connection On My End or is the gif broken'' like added layer of mystery#when sometimes even if you have a fine connection you gotta ask the audience like how's it look on your end...#jlsdf JUST noticed they're sitting by that tag ft. 666#the new satanic symbol? backwards Cool S. more on that in the next post#yeah someone might get stuck trying to decipher this as though it's walking us continuously through a scene lol but alas. c'est la vie
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Oh 😳
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oceandiagonale · 2 years
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Have you ever considered a discord for all the OC talk? It seems like it'd be a lot of trouble but oughhh 14 OC asks seems like a LOT to have to sort through and answer, and having them in one place where everyone can talk about them might be a bit easier than this O_O
ahhh discord is so scary though, I only use it to talk to my partner and play dnd 😭😭😭
it would be really nice if everyone could talk about OCs together more and bounce ideas around!! but running a server feels so intimidating -- I'm nervous to commit to that since I'll be pretty busy this semester 🥲🥲🥲
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it is a little bit overwhelming but that's why I'm trying to pace myself!! I also want to make sure I answer them all so my inbox doesn't end up being like, 50+ unread asks and then everyone is stressed about it 😭
I was thinking of doing a thing where I just answer everything on one or two days a week, like "OC Sundays" or something?? but I've mainly just been answering them when I'm stressed this week because they give me something else to think about 🥺🥺🥺
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apathyfairy · 2 years
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#it’s coming up on 3 years ago to the hour that i hd the worst day of my life when i had to rush my dog to the emergency vet at 2am and then#of course tragic and he died so that’s great and look it’s 3 years later and i’m not over it and tbh i don’t think i ever will be so todays#always a fun day.#people lie when they say that enough time goes by and you just move on or learn to live with pain or whatever and it’s like yeah#you do learn to live with it but it doesn’t get easier you just get used to the pain like. it just becomes part of you and someone you can’t#seperate yourself from anymore like you’re just one in the same with your misery and tragedy and blah blah fucking blah i wish i had died#that night instead#he was the first person animal anything i ever lost and then of course 11 months later my other dog died bc she was 17 and old but i was#miserable all over again obviously. so in 19 months both my dogs died then my grandpa died a v close family friend died my great aunt died#then i found out my ex died then my bird died and it’s just like. how do u go from never losing anyone to losing so much all at once#i know i just sound like a fucking baby but it really just like ended me. all of it and i just can’t like go back to how i was before any of#it. especially my dog the one who died tonight i just can’t because it was so sudden and so just 0 to 60 and i was alone and it was night#time and dark and i didn’t even have a car so my mom had to come pick us up and it wss just my worst fucking nightmare and i know it’s my#fucking fault and there’s nothing i could do then and nothing i can do now obviously and i just want to fucking kill myself#and 3 days ago i dreamt of him and every time i dream about him i’m always like ih my god! you’re alive!! and i think it was all just a bad#dream that he died then i wake up and i remember and it’s like yeah ok. i can’t keep being alive anymore
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