#the only constant now is change

[guttersnarls]

#the bridge city sinners #break the chain break the chain #break the chain #the only constant now is change #spotify #new music 2024

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals.... #going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year? #is it year eight of having them? year nine? #one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh?? #his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs... #my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3

[duskittycat]

omg guys the splatfest results are in!!!!!!

#rory yells at cloud #splatoon #splatfest #yes i'm gonna be mad about it. those tricolour changes were such a mistake. they literally just enable the winning team to keep steamrolling #not that changing tricolour will fix anything at this point because it's now been established that you join shiver's team if you want to win #though it'd be nice if they did change it bc maybe then it'd stop me from being saddled with defense and constant mirror matches #despite being on the least popular team that only had 19% of the vote

[honestlyvan]

Let me be absolutely clear -- the problems with Tumblr will keep getting worse if the disabled minority and the trans people and the people frothing at the mouth at the opportunity to yell at a transphobe, keep @’ing staff and the developers on this site, tell them to kys, because in the meanwhile the transphobes and racists and white supremacists will keep using the actual tools Tumblr provides for blocking and reporting, further poisoning the datasets used for moderation, and encouraging the idea that using the official tools does nothing to basically ensure the only statistically meaningful data available to Automattic is poisoned, poisoned all the way down, poisoned beyond usability.

Hatespeech and bias needs to be reported for it to be considered statstically significant to act on from a developer point of view. Suicide baiting and spamming any of the official means of communication will get you eliminated as a spammer, even if you’re peppering legitimate criticism within your ventpost about how you hate the new thing. You are playing the TE/RFs game.

#van stuff #the biggest reason we don't have an easily accessible 'report hatespeech' button is a) because people misused the old one #and b) because it's not satistically significant enough to be the first thing people want to report #this is like. COMMON fucking knowledge that moderation on Tumblr is 99% automated and extremely cheesable #and you now who are cheesing it? TRANSPHOBES!!! #Like this is not even a 'the developers won't care' kind of thing #this is a 'THE DEVELOPERS NEED HARD DATA TO JUSTIFY MAKING CHANGES' #if the ARE actively malicious then the data contradicting everything they're saying will FORCE changes #and if they mean what they say when they say they value the site for its vibrant culture #then giving them hard data to share with unconvinced people signing off on them having the budget to change things will ONLY help #the whole 'let's yell at staff every time anything happens' is a shibboleth #You're all being fucking exhausting #I want to quit Tumblr because if the userbase is gonna be like this!!! #If ALL I SEE for DAYS ON END is 'staff this' 'staff that' #that's JUST GIVING ME WORSE ANXIETY ABOUT THIS SITE GOING DOWN #'this change is bad for disabled users' YOUR NEEDLESS CONSTANT HOSTILITY AND PANIC RAISING IS ALSO BAD FOR ME A DISABLED USER #WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE??? #'Oh staff could make so much money if they only listened to feedback' you fuckers DON'T LEAVE FEEDBACK THOUGH #you just @ Staff and think that that's statistically meaningful data they can use #Fuck's sake #And that's not counting all the times staff *did* implement changes we wanted for years... AND YOU ALL STILL COMPLAINED #WE MODDED TAG VIEWING IN FOR YEARS AND NOW WHEN IT'S OFFICIAL YOU FUCKERS DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF #Fucking EXHAUSTING the lot of you

[scarheaded-ferret]

reading through convos with old online friends from years ago and i am. sad.

#it’s weird when I remember it was someone that i talked to everday and now can’t even remember their name like what the hell. #i was so. little. #and ive changed so much #at this point the only constant in my life is drarry fanfiction and who am i to complain its not a bad constant HAHA

[spicyicymeloncat]

The “this character annoys me because they are undeveloped and their actions in the story are unreasonable” to “wait I actually love this character when I realise how much potential they had and how there is groundwork’s for explaining why they do many controversial decisions and as the story goes on they actually develop and grow like people which is admirable” and “I no longer know how much of the things that make me obsessed with this character is canon or manifested by my desire to rewrite the subject material I don’t like” pipeline is so strong

#tried to make readable #in other words I am now a Ninjago wu apologist lol #i don’t like Kai - Harumi - wu - Misako’s writing but I love the groundwork and potential they can live up too and #i spend more time thinking about them than I do about my favourite characters #lol #hot take: Rät by Penelope Scott but it’s not sung to wu it’s sung by Wu about his dad #Ik it looks like I’m favouriting him but think about it for a second #his dad started training him and garms when they were really young #Wu has had the pressure of feeling responsible over Garmadon in every aspect: he’s supposed to be the good one #he’s in control of his actions #it’s his fault Garmadon is like this #the fsm is dead so wu is the only childhood family men ever Garmadon has #and what’s more is that the fsm seemed to make everything about the constant battle between the balance #i mean the fsm didn’t even tell wu where his fucking grave was #he made it a test! #Wu was taught that parenting is the same thing as being a teacher and trainer of combat #and when we see him ultimately take a fatherly role he continues this generational trauma #he treats Morro and the ninja like his children but unfortunately he’s been told that the way you treat children is prepare them for battle #and obviously he becomes aware that’s not entirely useful bc times change and whilst Ninjago is still frequently attacked #they aren’t in full blown wars anymore #but breaking out of toxic cycles is a process #and Wu frequently goes through arcs of feeling useless and going off on his own #which is major parallels with Lloyd Morro Kai #and also like everyone else #every ninja has daddy issues even the ninja’s dads have daddy issues #ninjago #ahahah

[kylewalker-peters]

the worst thing about dortmund is that almost every season there's a period where you genuinely feel yourself believing that something big is happening at the club and this could finally be dortmund's year and without fail within a few weeks the whole thing collapses and you're back to going through the motions with the club

#i mean at least dortmund have won 2 trophies while I've been a fan which is crazy #and like as a spurs fan i know the luxury it is to win things #but it just never feels like enough #and i know this is a project with edin that we're only just starting but with the constant squad changes it always feels like now or never #and god damn i want to win NOW

[caffeinatedopossum]

I hate that I'm literally chronically online but I don't really have a choice. I'm chronically ill, disabled, have very severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I can't just go touch grass and fix everything. I'm just trying my best to stay sane because that's really all I can do

#ngl ive only gotten this an insult like once or twice but i still think about it #like i think its important to note how my constant time spent online is affecting me even if i cant change it #but i wish there was more awareness (? idk if thats the right word) about people who really only have the internet #people who dont have anything else #and also just more healthy spaces honestly #the more time i spend on here (not tumblr specifically but like youtube and other socials... and also here) #the more i run into things that just greatly upset me #it used to be really easy to avoid stuff i didnt like idk why its becoming a problem now #by stuff i dont like btw i dont mean like content im not interested in #i mean like people arguing and even harassing each other #and just being dick heads for no apparent reason #sometimes its arguments or insults over things i relate to and its just shocking because im reminded #that im actually quite sheltered from people like that #sometimes its not even about me #sometimes its just very discouraging to see people being mean simply for the hell of it #i dont have very much hope for human kind as it is #but it just makes me sad when i KNOW how fun and how encouraging and supportive online places can be #from my time here #and then i see people choosing to ruin that #idk i probably sound like a stupid sheltered toddler #i just simply wish people were good #thats really all

[pageofheartdj]

It feels like I am wasting life, but I don't know what else am I supposed to do.

I feel… content where I am. Sure more money would be great, but with the amount of actual work I am doing it could have been worse. I am not seeking second job to fix it, I need lots of me time to not go crazy.

It's just that my every day goes the same. I don't hate it, but I grow wary that my life will just fly by as if I never actually lived it… But I can't come up with anything I would want to change or add.

I don't seek partner nor do I believe I can get along with anyone. So it stays in my dreams only.

I do not want children, I don't have enough patience and energy. I already have a pet to make me less lonely..

I don't like going outside, so no traveling or walks or cinema. I don't care for most material possessions, so no shopping.

My life feels dull and empty and monotone, yet there is nothing I would want to do to help with it. Nothing feels like something I would geniunely want.

All I have is my show obsessions when they come. That's all I spend my time on. Daydreaming, listening music, rewatching, reading fics, seeking art, discussing. I enjoy it. But that's all I have. All day, every day.

Am I this lazy to search for a way to help myself? Or am I just this passive. Something feels missing, but nothing actually fits to fill the hole. So I just keep existing like that.

I am at loss.

#but I am also scared of change #because it cant go better #so it wil be worse #I want to preserve my current for eternity #I dont know how I will be with my mom gone #we have rocky relationships but she is only constant in my life #I feel like a child #completely unequicked and utterly alone #I want time to stop #there will be nothing better than it is now #but worse things will come anyway #I hate living #I hate this fear and pain #none of it is worth it #people say that time after death and before birth are the same #maybe when you are in those moments #but I am here now I am alive #I did not have anything before #I will lose everything after #the experience to perceive from present makes difference

[latrodectal]

you know i’m in deep when i make a playlist.

#back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #jennifer parker #marty/jennifer #marty mcfly/jennifer parker #they’re just very sweet? idk there’s something about how she’s always his first thought when it comes to getting back home #or when they have to go back and fix things #(and yeah doc why couldn’t you have gotten her from her porch and hidden her in your lab with einstein or something??? anyway) #i kind of wonder if she was his only constant when he got back #like obviously his family’s different and his mom likes her now #and i feel like once that catches up with him he’ll be kind of messed up about it because there’s things they remember that he can’t etc #but like everything with them is the same and she knows him and reassured him none of that has changed or will change #I DON’T KNOW i like them okay 🥺

[padfootastic]

no idea what’s going on with tumblr but WHY is it becoming more and more unusable by the day,,,,

#like the ui is killing me #keeps changing every week on a damn rotation #then u hear ab all these new (horro) features from others and live in constant fear when it never shows up on urs #and the random fkn layout changes like??? what’s the point??? #get rid of the damn bots not the useful buttons goddamit #WHY re the gifsets now Like That #what purpose does it solve #why is the post button gone #only appearing on the feed #why why why #that’s all i got #pen’s whining

[semercury]

got scrivener up on my new laptop and had my eyes assaulted by a white background

#stuff sarah says #protip for all my writing homies out there: change your page color to anything other than white #it's so much easier on the eyes i guess unless you choose something awful like neon yellow? #i do a soft minty green and i love it #anyway. i'm glad to have a laptop now that doesn't cause me psychic damage by making horrible noises while i use it #can't write if i can't think bc there's a constant screeching from my machine #now if only my back would stop giving me sharp shooting pains and locking when i stand up that'd be great!

[byanyan]

today i'm making myself emotional over the way byan's gigantic pink backpack is basically their portable bedroom bc they can never be 100% sure of where they'll be sleeping on any given night and they don't have anywhere they feel safe leaving their most important belongings

#it's something that changes once they have more stability in their life thanks to sol and lena #and they feel safe leaving their stuff in either of their homes #but they've spent actual years toting around everything important and everything they need to spend the night somewhere #whether that ends up being a couch or a rooftop #actually this is a constant in fledgling verse bc they're finding a new abandoned building to sleep in every day #and had to give up on most of their belongings when they left the group home so. #they're carrying all their worldly possessions on them at all times as a baby vamp (': #god and now I'm only just realizing that this means they have a really limited number of outfits in this verse too... #UGH now I'm even sadder #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[neverendingford]

I have made my peace with being forgotten

and yet you think of me.

I have made my peace with being unloved

and yet you continue to try.

I have made my peace with this silence

and yet your knuckles rap at my door.

I have made my peace with letting go

but you continue to hold on.

what do you think of me?

what do you love?

who do you speak to?

what are you holding onto?

is it me you perceive?

or a shape of something you thought was real

created from dreams and wishes and the promise of a thousand people before you.

#poetry #color says shit #this just in. staying at my parents house while they're gone is bringing up the same old pain #pushing on the same old healed over scars. #heartbreaking. someone you know doesn't conform to rigid black and white good/evil morality #how to build distance when they keep trying to hold you close #when that closeness brings up every single moment of pain #when they're determined to hate the sin but love the sinner. #when your dad still quotes transphobic rhetoric at you. #when your mom is still convinced your queer identity is created from trauma #when they still genuinely care about you as a person but are still fundamentally arrayed against everything you've built for yourself #when their love is a constant wish for transformation. regression back to a more malleable obedient state. #I hurt so fucking much because the only way to make it stop is for me to be the bad guy #for me to tell them to fuck off #otherwise I constantly fight against their gravity. #constantly fight against the expectation that I become something else. #that I drop this childish delusion and pick up the ways of a grown adult instead #and yet they celebrate me. they celebrate my name change. #the change that rejected both their last names. that transformed the entire thing into something apart from them. #I orphaned myself and they celebrate me for that. I'm going to hit post now because I can't keep typing cause I'm gonna go cry instead #I just. what the fuck do I do with this situation.

[megafawna-permhiatus]

Ya . . been having alot of weird feelings about being trans recently.

#.talk #i am male. that might as well be one of the only constants in this (for lack of a better term hehe) transitional period in my life (youth) #its like an axiom to me. but to others it might not be... why is this? why is this so complicated? i have these feelings of being a man tha #come from the cavity of my chest and glow from the inside of it to the outside. it clogs my pores with how much i know my maleness to be #accurate. yet i still get called ''she'' maybe like 43% of the time. its a weird feeling. also a shitty one but that goes w/o saying #because when i was younger and first trying out this whole transition thing. i drifted between xenogender labels and demiboy and nonbinary #and those are fine. but definitely not who i am... and hey once i get on T maybe my feelings will change... but its crazy to think i ever #once thought i was female... #or that i ever was just. apathetic towards being misgendered. it hurt me but i just pushed it away. and i never realized that was different #or a sign i did not like my femaleness. because i'd never had much excitement about my gender. i'd never been offered another path. i never #got called ''he'' or ''son'' or ''boy''. but now i am (most of the time. wish it was more but hey thats the brakes) and i feel like i #stepped out of a cave that i was trapped in for my entire life and im starting to feel what warmth from the sun is like. and i loooove it! #ok sorry. ill stop talking