#the human instead ends up basically “modernizing” the vamps

[duskbats]

planning on doing a silly little gameplay with the new pack where a whole apartment block is inhabited by vampires and 1 human moves in and everyone starts to fight for them.

#.txt #trying to come up with some occult concepts for the pack #this is as far as i've got #thinking kinda WWDITS vibes #the human instead ends up basically “modernizing” the vamps #so that more humans come back to the area so they can feed and not appear threatening #but like idk how far i'll get with it bc i'm no good with storytelling

[roy-dcm2]

MyDCU - The Crime Syndicate

From time to time I like to think about, what would be the modern Legion of Doom? Because the "Superfriends" version has guys like Brainiac and Grodd, who I think wouldn't want to team up with humans, and also the Riddler, who doesn't have powers.

I think picking members for the Syndicate is easier than the LoD because you only need to look at the iconic members of the JLA as a major sign post on where to go, and I decided to aim for 13 members just for fun. One thing to keep in mind is that they're NOT 1:1 analogs of the main JLA. For instance, Owlman is Thomas Wayne Jr, who had a younger brother (Bruce) who died. In the most common version, Super Woman was Lois Lane, but the "Crisis on Two Earths" version was Mary Marvel, meanwhile the New 52 version is Donna Troy. You could say that remixing all the characters is part of the fun of having Infinite Earths

Two big change ups: I would leave out Johnny Quick/ Power Ring. I think if you have an Evil Flash, you got to wonder why he wouldn't time travel all the time. Meanwhile, Power Ring makes you wonder, where's the rest of the Evil GL corps? Or why don't you get GOOD Brainiac to help you? So, leave out most of the Space Stuff.

SO, you've got to start off with the Big 3: Ultraman, Owlman, Superwoman.

Ultraman: I like the version that was a human astronaut who was "super evolved" by aliens while on a mission, but the process made him evil. Its a nice allusion to the versions of Superman that's an advanced human.

Owlman: Gotta go with Thomas Wayne Jr. This evil "Batman" decided to conquer/ kill the criminals that killed his family. Batman's mission is this never ending quest for "the one that got away." In Owlman, we see a version that decided to control everything. Also, in the main DCU, Thomas Wayne Jr. was "Talon" a champion of the Court of Owls.

"Superwoman" - I'd go with a new version that is either Diana, or Hippolyta. A "Herald" of the Roman Gods, there to start a war that will end the world. Except she's taking her sweet time, enjoying "man's world." Alternatively, if I could have infinite time to tell a story, then I would make her Lois Lane, but this time she's a Star Sapphire. (WW and Star Sapphire used the have basically the same origin.)

Let's look at some other CS members based on the some classic JLAers. I don't know these other members very well, so I'm going cover them really quick

Sea King - basically a version of Aquaman that instead of growing up on Land, became the tyrant of the seven seas.

Grid - a version of Cyborg that fully embraced his machine side.

DeathStorm - an Evil Firestorm that is technically controlled by Dr. Martin Stein.

Atomica - An Evil version of The Atom, also happens to be a woman.

Silver Cyclone - an evil version of Red Tornado. Secretly hates all humans.

Black Siren - an evil Black Cannary. Alternatively, there was a version called "white cat.

Angelique - an Evil verison of Hawkgirl.

Vamp - an Evil Version of Vixen.

Black Power - Evil Black Lightning

"Stretch man" - I don't think he officially has a name. He's just evil Plastic Man. Very important character because he's famously unkillable.

Yeah. really quick. Again, I don't really know the members of the Crime Syndicate all that well. I guess the next thing would be to break them up into Sub-families like it was illustrated in "Crisis on Two Earths." Its tough because the Syndicate would not tolerate anyone that could be a threat to their power. So you wouldn't want to shove every single DC hero into one of these things, but i would like to see an evil version of the Outsiders, or the extended Superman family.

#MyDCU #Roy-DCM2 #DC comics #dccomics #DC Universe #Justice League #Crime Syndicate #Superman #Batman #Wonder Woman #Legion of Doom

[anotherrpfinder]

Hello hello! The name’s Tulsa and I’m 25 years old and searching for some new writing partners! I have over ten years writing experience and have done a bit of freelance writing on the side as well. As for my writing, I can easily write around two paragraphs, but if the scene calls for it I can go 3-5, it just depends. I do prefer rapid replies around two paras, but this is in no way a dealbreaker as I know not everyone has this sort of time.

Just a few quick rules that are important are as follows:

- All partners must be 18+- I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!- Considering we’ll be using original characters, I do prefer celebrities/actors as faceclaims.- Since doubling is a big thing now, I want to explain my stance. I’m so down for playing side characters in order to world build, however I won’t do an ‘I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine’ deal. Sorry if this is a dealbreaker for you!

As for what I’m looking for right now, it’s a bit specific so bear with me haha. I won’t go completely in-depth plotwise, because I want to be able to fit all of the important stuff BUT basically what I’m looking for is a M!Vampire(you)XF!Human(me) plot. Some of the themes I’m hoping to explore are a bit darker and definitely might not be everyone’s cup of tea, so I’ll throw a trigger warning in here now.

Some themes I’m interested in exploring would be:- Stockholm syndrome- Corruption- Slight con-non-con, but nothing drastic.- Addiction- Obsession

It’s nothing TOO crazy I don’t think, but did just want to throw those out. I’m really interested in a vamp, perhaps a really powerful or well-known one, kidnapping my character and holding onto her. Whether it be for a sort of ransom, for fun, she reminds him of someone, etc. I have a few specific ideas about this we could discuss, but it would take some mapping out. I think I’d prefer for this to take place during modern times, although I’m not completely opposed to historical fantasy either.

We can discuss characters and faceclaims if we click, but currently if my mind I’d love a Sam Claflin or Nathaniel Buzolic vamp, but I’m totally open to others as well! The following is what I’d be looking for out of a potential partner.

- Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times. (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)- Loves to gush about the characters/pairings/fandom we’re writing. I love getting invested and coming up with potential future plot points or doing aus or hcs about where they could end up. It’s all so fun!- In that same vein though, I do want to set a boundary: I don’t do anything that requires me to share my voice or get off of discord. I have super bad anxiety so any kind of call or sharing of personal info stresses me out a lot. I’ve tried it once and it all ended in a mess and I’d rather not get into it again, so please be able to respect that.- If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect! And bonus points if you use tupperbox!

If you’re at all interested please interact or simply add me on discord - toxicdeliquency Also, please introduce yourself and what fandom and/or pairing caught your eye instead of just a simple ‘hi’ message, it makes things much easier and less awkward haha. Hope to hear from y’all!

#oc x oc rp #vampire rp #dead dove rp #spicy rp #fandomless rp #sam claflin rp #nathaniel buzolic rp

[vampiricbatz]

Well I was gonna ask about Switch, but... Instead I want you to post stuff from "Vampires Pitch 3Sem1." Since you have so much of it, of course. (Kimmi's Wardrobe sounds adorable though)

luna, you're allowed to send more than one ask <3 so, the premise of this one is that being a vampire is Cool And Trendy for the upper class, and Hell On Earth for anyone who can't afford to buy 'blood alternatives' - a handy-dandy capsule that contains everything a modern vampire needs. (it's blood.) they're sold in dedicated pharmacies where price gouging is rampant. the media sells the idea that wealthy vampires are Clean and Your Friend (bats.) and the lower class vamps are all bloodthirsty murderers and should be exterminated. (rats.)

here's a rlly short bit of it- I chose the fucked up part.

tumblr might make the comic formatting awful to read, sorry. there's more pages b4 and after this. TW for like, murder, gore, human trafficking, and capitalism <3

Cut to CEO standing, leaning against a window. Ads outside his skyscraper promote the pills and various other alternatives.

A nervous employee knocks on the door and enters the room. 

E: “Sir?”

CEO: Yes? E: They’re ready for you to view the new shipment.

CEO: Eurgh. Do I have to? 

E: Yes, sir, it’s-

CEO: Regulation, I know. 

CEO: Let’s get it over with, then. (he puts out a cigarette.) 

They walk through a factory floor. it's grimy, and dingy. it's like a slaughterhouse, but more under-the-table.

A shipping crate sits on the factory floor. Two armed guards (cow-prods.) open the doors at their request. (a nod.)

A group of scared people are inside, shrouded by darkness.

E: jesus.

CEO: where did we get this lot, then?

(E opens their mouth to speak.)

CEO: nevermind, I don’t want to know.

E: legally, we have to tell you, sir. 

CEO: put it on my desk, I don’t care. E: It was monaco, sir.

CEO: I told you, put it on my desk. I’m out.

Another cigarette butt drops on the floor, and the CEO leaves. E hesitates.

A creepy-lookin scientist guy creeps up behind E.

Earl: How’s it going, E? 

E: jesus. Hello, earl. 

EARL: heheh, cm’on man, you know that jesus aint down here. Not to them, at least. (he gestures towards the rows of skeletal people. they're hanging from the ceiling, covered in tubes and machines. basically unrecognisable as people.)

E looks deeply uncomfortable.

EARL:  follow me. I’ll show you how our latest batch is going.  (he disappears through a PVC strip door.) 

EARL: this unlucky lot are going great. They’ve been on the run for over 6 and a half months now. 

E: wow. 6 and a half? 

EARL: I know, right? 

But check this out: new drug we’ve been testing. Not for the consumer end, for our side of things.

Eight times as much blood production. Sure, it wreaks hell on the body, can only get them to last a month, two at a push-, but the quality’s just as good.

I mean, hell- swapping people in and out when needed, pumpin’ em full of vitamin C or whatever- that’s great and all, but imagine what these could do.

A souped up version of one of the skeleton people we just saw, in a fluid tank. They look in even more pain. 

E: Jesus, man, are you sure that’s moral? E: We’d have to disappear more people. The world only has so many criminals. We’d be going through the population at… i don’t know how fast of a rate. People would start to notice.

People don’t give a shit. They know it has to come from somewhere. 

Sure, in the first couple of months of business, there were protests, but the rats took care of all that. The rest of the ones who had shit to say probably ended up in here at some point. 

EARL: morals disappeared a long time ago, my friend.

E: yeah.

E: yeah, I guess you’re right.

E: see you next week, earl.

EARL: See you around! Don’t let the rats bite.

#draft #comic wips #vampires #long post #ask games

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Only Vampires

(Story Post)

Nari wasn't sure why he trusted these two vampires, but he wanted to know what they knew and so he followed them to their home. They didn't live more than a block north of where the library stood. They must've lived there a long time to afford such a big house, but then again, he had no idea what the housing market was like here. Either way, any active and diligent vamp over 100 years old could secure themself considerable wealth if they tried. Nari himself hadn't focused on capital during the majority of his life though, but he still did well for himself. The front doors of the house were very big, with stained glass windows, but Wesley and Everett took him around to the back door which was average sized and let no light in. This wasn't an issue right now as it was an hour to midnight, but he guessed that any daytime travel came through here, so they'd grown accustomed to it.

Inside was a small mudroom with another door at the other end. Nari waited for Everett to take off his shoes before he removed his own because wasn't sure what the traditions were in this country, but he was only further confused when Wesley took his shoes off but Everett kept them on. “Um, shoes on or off?” Nari had to ask. Wesley wacked Everett's leg with his loafer. “Shoes off, please.” Nari was relieved and did as told. “Alright.” “I'm not sure why we adopted that,” Everett said, reluctantly removing his footwear and then promptly putting on a pair of slippers. “My family always wore their shoes inside, his family wore shoes inside… Not to mention, it doesn't matter at all what Wesley wears.” “It's for our housemates,” Wesley said. “We have several housemates from across the world, you'll find Nari. The general consensus has been shoes off. We do our best to be accommodating.” He then proceeded to pull out a set of wheel slippers and socks and maneuvered them onto his chair. Nari thought for a second and then raised a hand. “I hope you don't think I need somewhere to stay. I'm well established.” “No, no,” Wesley said. “We just like to help anyone when it comes to library matters. As you may have noticed, it is not very accessible to all vamps of all shapes, abilities, and colours. We like to help anyone find the knowledge they need.” Nari nodded. “I see. So you steal the books for them.” “I told you, we borrow them,” Everett said as he led them through to the main hall. “Evie does think of himself as a modern-day Robin Hood of Knowledge, though,” Wesley said. The main hall was a lot more modern than Nari expected for a house apparently full of vampires. It was open concept with a lovely kitchen with granite counter tops. Further on was the living room and stairs, both up to the next floor and down to the basement. An elevator had also been installed beside the stairs for easier access to all floors. Nari’s hosts took him down to the basement, which was set up as a games room and study. There was pool, and darts, and even a pinball machine on one side. Some lounge chairs, a sofa, and a set of bookshelves on the other. There, they found another pair of vampires, one with her nose in a book, the other passed out on the couch, an open book on his chest. “Ah, glad some of you are here,” Wesley said going over to the reading nook. “Inaya, please meet Nari. We met him at the library.” The conscious vampire got up and smiled. She wore a hijab and had big round eyes framed with detailed eyeliner. She offered a hand to Nari. “Nice to meet you. Are you looking at a room?” “No, no, I’m just getting a little extra help with my research,” Nari said shaking her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve never met, well, a vampire like you.” “A hijabi vampire?” Inaya chuckled. “Me neither. That’s why I’m here.” “To find more?” Nari asked. “No, to learn about being a vampire,” Inaya said. “I didn’t know anything about them really until I was turned, and I didn’t have any other vampires around to teach me. Figuring out how to be a vampire and muslim at the same time is difficult. Blood is haram, you see.” “Ah.” Nari nodded. “Have the books been helpful?” “Some, yes. Wesley seems to know how to find me good reads,” Inaya said. “I’ve tried entering the library on my own, but it’s always been a hassle. They always find some excuse not to let us in.” “I understand,” Nari said rollimg his eyes. “It's a different excuse each time.” Everett went over and kicked the end of the couch to wake its occupant. “Rise, Jeremiah! Meet our guest!” Wesley frowned. “Evie, let the boy sleep. He's probably been studying tirelessly, the poor kid.” It was too later however and the sleepy vampire stirred and sat up, rubbing his eyes. The book he had been reading fell off his chest and onto the floor. The bang made him curse and scramble to pick it up. “Shit, it better not be busted… These old ass books…” “Language, Jeremiah. You know the rules,” Everett scolded. “Shit, sorry, Ev,” the vampire huffed. “Not my fault you woke me up.” “I have half the mind to discipline you,” Everett said, crossing his arms. “Yeah, that’ll look good, you pasty old Brit beating my black ass…” the young vampire mocked. He noticed Nari. “Who’s this little mosquito?” Wesley put a hand on Nari's shoulder. “This is Nari. We're helping him in his research.” The other got up and offered a hand to the newcomer. “It's Jez, but these old farts insist on calling me by my whole name like they're my damn mother or something.” Everett huffed. “Seriously, if you don't straighten out your language, I'll—” “The entire concept of vulgar language is inherently racist,” Jez interrupted, his entire diction changing just to prove a point to old Everett. “My use of swearing is not abusive, but instead cathartic, emphatic and idiomatic, forms of swearing that are not meant to offend anyone. For you to tell me what words I can and cannot say is a blatant form of oppression and reduces my abilities to cope with pain or misfortune.” Everett frowned, his lips pursed. “Fine. But could you tone it down just a bit?” “No.” Wesley came up behind Everett and patted his back. “Relax. We're all adults. Anyway, where's Paolo?” “He's in his room,” Inaya said. “Probably working.” “Ah, okay. Nari can meet him later,” Wesley said approaching the coffee table. From out of nowhere, he pulled out a book and offered it to Inaya. “I found an Arabic tome with stories from Turkey in it. I’m hoping it might help you.” “Oh! Maybe!” Inaya took the book gratefully. “I appreciate it, Wes!” “Where did you pull that book from?” Nari asked, a bit dumbfounded. “The library?” Wesley said, a little confused by the question. “No, I mean… I didn't notice it on your person before,” Nari said. “Oh! It's pocket magic,” Wesley said. “Easier than carrying them around.” “Pocket magic is some real basic level shit,” Jez said, eyeing Nari. “If you don't know that, what abilities do you have?” Nari shook his head. “…I never learned vampire magic. Well, except a blood purifying spell I found the other day.” Everett placed his hands on Nari's shoulders. “Oh dear, so you've just been going about your life with all the cons and none of the pros to the whole vampire thing? Sounds miserable!” Nari frowned. “I didn't know I could learn any of it…” “You absolutely can!” Everett said. “We will show you the basics.” “Honestly, it's fine…” Nari said. “I don't plan on sticking around long, and my partner has enough magic for the both of us…” “Your partner knows magic but you didn't know you could learn it?” Inaya asked. “They didn't try to teach you?” “He’s not a vampire,” Nari said. “He doesn't know what I'm capable of doing as one.” “What is he, then?” Jez asked. “A dragon?” “No, he's a wizard,” Nari said. “A wizard?” Wesley inquired, his voice a little concerned. “Like, a human wizard?” “Uh, yes,” Nari said. “The magic isn't the same, though he's convinced he can learn vampire stuff…” Everett started shaking his head. “Do you always engage in romantic relationships with humans?” “Yes.” Nari frowned, reading the negative energy coming from his acquaintances. “You say that like it's bad. Are you going to tell me we're not supposed to do that? It's taboo or something?” “No, it's fine! I mean…” Everett put his hands on Wesley's shoulders. “He was unturned when I fell for him…” “But we weren't trying to reproduce, that’s for sure,” Wesley said. He placed a hand on Nari’s arm. “It’s no wonder you’ve been having trouble… You can't have children with humans. It never works.” Nari clenched his jaw. “That's not…My information came to a 1-in-8 chance that a vampire can complete live birth.” “It's more complicated than that,” Everett said, pulling out one of the books be grabbed. “It's likely the one successful time out of eight, their partner was another vampire. The odds are much better with two vampires. Like, 1-in-3.” He opened to a page that displayed a large family tree on it. “Any time in history that a vampire successfully completed a pregnancy, both parents were vampires. Any pairings with children from one unturned and a vampire were from before the vampiric parent had turned. Or, there has also been the occasional time a vampire sired a child with an unturned person, but it is rarer.” Nari frowned and sat down on the couch. “But…I… Isn’t there any magic that can help?” Wesley shook his head. “Not that we've found. Your best bet is to try with a vampire.” “But I don't want a child from someone else…” Nari said. “I want one with Diederich.” “I'm surprised you even date unturned,” Jez commented. “It's sad stuff watching humans grow old and die all the time…” “Diederich isn't just any human, he's immortal too,” Nari said. “He knows really powerful skills and spells.” Jez rolled his eyes. “So, easy fix. Just turn him.” Nari shook his head. “No, I can't do that.” “I could teach you,” Everett said. “Or I could do it.” Nari glared. “No, I don't want to turn him. I wouldn't do that to someone.” Everett sighed. “Nari, I don't know what to tell you. Your goal is to have a baby with your partner. Both of you need to be vampires for that to happen. That's all there is. We don't have any other advice.” Nari looked down at his hands, his eyes brimming with tears. “So, all those times I tried… Complete waste of time...” Wesley rubbed Nari’s shoulder. “You didn't know…” He looked to Everett. “Would you give us a moment? All of you.” “Of course, love,” Everett said, kissing Wesley on the forehead. “Come along now, children.” “We are not your kids,” Jez groaned as he got up reluctantly and followed Inaya and Everett upstairs. Once they were alone, Wesley sighed and rubbed Nari's arm. “Before you turned, did you have any children?” Nari slowly and sniffled. “Yes… My son, Tae-seok. He was just a baby when I turned…” “Is he alive?” Wesley asked. “No… He passed away around the turn of the millennia…” Wesley sighed. “When did you start trying for another baby?” “We tried for several years when Tae-seok was young… But his father, Eun-young, died in a factory accident when Tae-seok was still a child. I didn't try again until well after my son passed away too.” “With your current partner?” Wesley asked. Nari shook his head. “No, my previous relationship. It was an accident… But I wanted it to work out. I had a little hope.” “I'm really sorry, Nari,” Wesley said. “It must be difficult to hear about the circumstances of your pursuit… And I'm sorry about Evie. He thinks turning people will always fix everything. It doesn't.” “But he's right though… If Diederich were a vampire, we'd have a much better chance,” Nari said spreading his hands. “If he were turned, we could try…” Wesley shook his head. “I can tell, you don't want to do that. It sounds like your experience with being a vampire has been more negative than positive and you don't want to subject someone else to that.” “I don't. Diederich is… He’s so lovely, and he's happy…” Nari said. “I don't want to take that from him.” “I understand. It isn’t easy. I don't always love being a vampire either… And I certainly wouldn't make that decision for someone else,” Wesley said. “You do realise that if you did manage to give birth to a baby, you'd be choosing a life as a vampire for them too?” Nari blinked. “Yes, but… I…” He paused. “…With Diederich, since he's unturned, I thought that they might not be…” “Well, even if you could reproduce with a normal human being, you’re a vampire. Your kids would be vampires.” Nari grit his teeth. “…I guess I just…you know, if I could have a baby again, I didn't care what they were… But now just saying it, that’s sounds so incredibly selfish… To subject my own child to the exact same curse I've suffered for their entire life…” Wesley rubbed Nari's knee. “I think you need to think about your situation and talk to your partner. Really work out what path makes the most sense for both of you, and any possible children in the mix. What's best for everyone is what is important.” Nari nodded slowly. “Yes… I just want to be with Diederich… I should go…” Wesley checked his watch. “Where are you staying? Evie can drive you over.” “It's okay, I can walk…” “No way, this time of night, any drunk vampires tumbling out of a bar will want to pick a fight, and while I'm not saying you can't hold your own, you don't know much magic and vampires around the library know their stuff.” Nari sighed and told Wesley his hotel. “I do appreciate you guys trying to help me… You’re honestly the nicest vampires I've ever met.” “Aw, it's nothing,” Wesley said going to the elevator. “Each of us understands the difficulty of being accepted in the vampire world. But we've been very lucky and those who have should give.” “So, is this sort of a boarding house for vampires using the library?” Nari asked. “Sort of… We keep the rent super cheap though because the house was paid off many, many years ago. Our housemates just split utilities. Evie and I cover the taxes and insurance.” Wesley smiled. “If you ever need somewhere to stay, we'll be here. First month is free for long term. Of course, we won't charge you if you just want to come over and visit.” Nari nodded. “That's more than generous, thank you.” They rode the elevator together and met with Everett at the back of the house. “Good talk?” Everett asked, spinning his car keys. “Yes, I think so,” Wesley said. “Inaya and Jeremiah are back in their rooms, then?” “Yeah.” Everett unlocked the door. “Alright, Nari. We won't keep you any longer than you'd like. Wes said you needed a ride, yes? Come along.” Nari blinked. “When did he tell you?” “Come on, now.” Everett placed his hands on his hips. “You really do need a rundown on basic magic. You could teach toddlers mind connection.” “I really don't know anything, then…” Nari frowned following him out. Wesley waved as they left. “Hope to see you soon!” Nari waved again before going to the garage with Everett. “You should consider coming back tomorrow night,” Everett said, unlocking the car. “Jeremiah will teach you everything you need to know.” “I might take him up on that. At least I'll have gotten something out of this trip.” “Well, there you go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” “Hm… Yes, I suppose.” “Oh, and you still have to meet Paolo! He’s Asian like you too! Wouldn’t guess from his name though, would you?” “You really don’t think before you speak, do you?” “Hey, respect your elders.” “Sorry, grandpa.”

#lore #Nari #Everett #Wesley #Jez #Inaya #vampire

[sidesandsanders]

Vampire AU For No Goddamn Reason At All

Nobody asked for it but here it is. Basically all of our boys are vampires and they live in a castle in the modern age. This species of vamp has retractable fangs, and their eyes glow under moments of extreme emotion, hunger, or strenuous use of their powers.

Logan: The Vampire Lord

- The oldest of the bunch, as in “he was a teenager when the bubonic plague was still a threat” old. Turned all of the other members of House Sanders. He keeps track of finances, utilities, making sure the public suspects nothing, practical stuff like that. He makes a living primarily online.

- Roman convinced him that any respectable Master Vampire must have a fancy and intimidating space to occupy, so Logan’s office has a throne instead of a desk chair, and an ornate but practical desk.

- He’s got a huge personal library in the castle. I’m talking mint-condition first editions of books that went out of print decades ago. He has a signed copy of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, as well as countless psychology, biology, and medical textbooks.

- His powers include mind manipulation, but nobody is sure if he has more that he’s hiding.

- His eyes glow a dark indigo blue with flecks of silver when he’s hungry.

- He has three sets of fangs, his top and bottom canines, as well as a smaller set located directly behind the top canine fangs.

Roman: The Victorian Prince

- Turned in the age of grand ballroom parties and red wine, and refuses to give that lifestyle up. Don’t get me wrong, he accepts and adores modern technology and ideas, but he also adores the aesthetics and poetic romanticism of his original era.

- Pretty much every piece of furniture he owns is velvet. Velvet canopy curtains on his bed, velvet upholstery on every single couch, chair, and chaise lounge in his room. Silk sheets though, a prince must have standards after all!

- He throws lavish romanticism era styled parties, and has a habit of inviting everyone he knows the name of. He loves to show off, and having parties in the castle’s ballroom is the most fun way to do so. He has a pet deahhound named Juliet, who looks like an oversized, all black husky dog. She is the (second) star of the show at his parties.

- He can enthrall people, and while he doesn’t do it to strangers, but he has been known to use his powers to make his partners enjoy being bitten. There is a running joke in the family to compare him to an incubus.

- When he’s hungry, his irises glow red, but his pupils turn shiny gold.

- He has the standard top only canine fangs, perfectly white and sharp.

Patton: The Wayward Nurse

- He met Logan during the witch trials. As a medic with a green thumb, he got mistaken for a witch. Logan offered him a place in the castle, and Patton accepted. He grows herbs and flowers, along with a tiny grove of fruit trees, on the castle grounds. There are coconuts growing in his greenhouse year-round, since coconut milk is a half-decent blood substitute and he’d rather his family not hurt anyone.

- Some of the money coming into the household is from him selling herbal remedies, tea mixes, and foodstuffs to the locals. He has been known to give discounts if you bring your dog with you, and he always tries to pet them, even if they don’t exactly take well to his otherworldly aura.

- He practically lives in the garden and greenhouse, but he also has a very pastel and out-of-place seeming room in the castle. Every single item in that room is designed for maximum comfort and maximum coziness. If it is not fluffy, he’s not interested.

- He can heal other vampires in his bloodline, but not outsiders or humans.

- His eyes gloss over and turn silvery-blue all over when he’s hungry. They don’t glow but they are crazy reflective.

- Despite having the smallest fangs of the bunch, just a pair of extra sharp canines, he puts the most effort into hiding them.

Virgil: The Runaway

- The youngest resident of House Sanders, he was turned in the mid 2000’s after running away from home, and is still adjusting to immortal life. He uses his powers, various gadgets, and anything else he can get his hands on to keep outsiders away from the castle. He’s security, basically.

- Despite being the newest to the world of the fallen, he’s the one who most throws himself into the vampire lifestyle. While Roman emulates the classic victorian vampire aesthetic, Virgil is 100% living the vamp life. He got ahold of a coffin the size of a king bed, one made for couples who want to be buried together. He replaced the lining with a mattress and bedding and that’s where he sleeps now. He also spends a ridiculous amount of time in and around graveyards.

- He’s also has a bunch of “creepy” pets. Two bats named Ebony and Gerard, a pink-toed tarantula named Malice, and an orange and black speckled newt named Calcifer.

- On the opposite end of the spectrum to Roman, Virgil’s powers give him the ability to make people fear him. Very useful for getting people to leave him (and the rest of the castle) alone.

- His eyes glow deep purple when he’s hungry, and they have a subtle bioluminescence even when he’s not.

- He has defined fangs on his top and bottom canines.

Deceit: The Outcast

- An animal hybrid vampire, a snake, naturally. The second oldest, he was cast out by his birth family when he was a preteen, once his parents saw the scales growing in. He keeps to himself for the most part, occasionally taking part in Roman’s parties, if only to amuse himself by confusing the guests. Logan has made it clear to the other residents that he is staying in the castle, and is to be treated as equal.

- Every time someone outside the family asks his name or story, they get a different answer. The baker was told his name was Riley and he was Logan’s cousin. The florist was told his name was Dimitri, and he was Roman’s handmaiden. The head priest was told that his name was Damien, and he had come to corrupt the souls of the townsfolk.

- Absolutely fascinated by stories in all forms. He didn’t learn to read until much later in life, and he witnessed the birth of movies and video as art mediums, so he has a certain appreciation for all forms of storytelling. Live theatre has a special place in his heart though, as it was the first form of storytelling he ever experienced.

- He possesses the unique ability to transform himself entirely into a snake, as well as a mild form of hypnotic ability.

- When he’s hungry, his left eye glows a striking neon yellow, while his right eye turns into a hollow black void.

- His fangs mimic those of a viper. Long, needle-like points trailing out from behind his canines.

Remus: The Disgraced Duke

- Turned shortly after Patton. Was tossed out of the royal family of a small country because the people could not handle the idea of him being in any position of power, so for his parents it was either toss him out with the bathwater or risk a revolution. He just sort of...wandered around until he got to the castle, and nobody could figure out how to get him to leave, so now he’s just there.

- He spends most of his time pestering the other members of the home, pigging out on everything in the kitchen, trying his best to hook up with Roman’s poor unsuspecting party guests, or playing pranks on random townsfolk. He’s responsible for the local legend about a mutant octopus in the sewer. It’s just him flapping his tentacle arms about.

- He has a pet, but it’s not technically domesticated. He caught a strange little octopus/squid/crustacean creature a long time ago, and it’s miraculously not dead yet! (Patton turned it in secret, he was scared of what Remus would do if it died and he got sad). It’s name is Hentai.

- His powers are the ability to manifest tentacles, and cause humans to hallucinate, but the latter requires a lot of concentration and effort so he tends to use other methods to freak people out.

- His eyes glow and shift between a sickly swamp green and a fluorescent lime green, both colors shot through with flecks of black.

- His fangs are jarring, an entire set of sharp teeth that slide out over his “normal” teeth. He looks like a shark. They fall out and grow back pretty regularly.

#sanders sides #ts roman #roman sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts patton #patton sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts deceit #deceit sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #vampire #vampire au #ask me about my sinful headcanons for these boys #vamp au

[the-wotog-collection]

current (4/27/2020) list of aus

so! we have one overarching universe (wotog) that almost everything falls under, with the exception of the chromatica crew and the Project 83 kids. and, because we have so many kids and so many ideas, naturally, we’ve come up with (entirely too many) alternate universes to put them in. designated tags for each au are after each description.

this is also gonna be really long so i apologize in advance. everything is under the cut.

pirate: this is actually set somewhere in the beginning-middle of True Canon, after the og crew (minus anne and viren) went around the continent, witherhurst, and decided “yknow what? there’s nothing else to do here, let’s go be pirates i guess” so they proceeded to steal a pirate ship and go be pirates. #pirate au

ccak: cats, coffee, and kink. this is the generic modern au, and i love it so much. to me, this is True Canon but for the modern aus. set in fantasy-modern new york city, it’s basically slice of life as the kids just kinda exist together. #ccak

flowers: ah yes, the soulmate au. [redacted] actually came up with the idea for this one: everyone is born with at least one soul mark. they have one that’s their own, and it takes the shape of their favorite flower somewhere on their body, and is filled in with the actual colors of the flower. but, because this is a soulmate au, most people have more than one mark. okay this is gonna be a little hard to explain so. person A has a rose on the back of their left hand, and that’s their soulmark. they have a romantic soulmate, person B, so they might have a red lily on their right forearm (or wherever it is on person B). they also have a platonic soulmate, person C, so they have a blue daffodil on their leg, and a familial soulmate, so maybe a green peony on their back. and a person doesn’t know what kind of soulmate they’ll have until they meet their soulmate and their marks start to fill in. a person’s personal mark goes gray if they go against destiny and love someone who doesn’t share a mark with them, and their mark fades almost completely when that corresponding soulmate dies. (in addition, fantasy races don’t exist in this one, and if i remember correctly, magic isn’t a thing either.) #flowers

wings: this one is pretty straightforward. everyone has wings (and everyone is human, rather than fantasy races), and it’s great. #wings au

wolf/vamp: so in this one, everyone is human, but can be turned into (or born as, i guess) a werewolf, a vampire, or, in some rare cases, a cross between the two: a vaewolf. this one is kinda grittier to me, but that’s just the impression i personally get from it. #wolf au #vamp au

outbreak: the obligatory zombie apocalypse au, feat. low magic and a very soft magic system. Zombies are made of a mix of magic and disease, so a cure is virtually impossible. Typical gritty ‘everyone’s depressed and just doing their best to survive’ apocalypse shenanigans. #outbreak

hanahaki: self-explanatory. a modern au, i’m imagining it as similar to ccak, but in which the hanahaki disease is a thing and occurs. #hanahaki au

fae-u: a modern-ish au, in which mythical creatures exist! has heavy ties into japanese folklore and myths, with some more western ideas as well. this one is pretty xander-centric. #faeu #fae u

pantheon: the kids are deities! based more on greek mythology, and takes place in ancient greece, if i’m not mistaken. #pantheon

vigilante: heroes and villains are a thing, and where there’s heroes and villains, there’s vigilantes! this one is mostly centered around xander, hatch, and glo. #vigilante #vigilante au  

reaperverse: set in a world where reapers come to collect souls when they die, one stubborn woman (spoilers: it’s eve) simply refuses, and forgets, to die, and shenanigans ensue. #reaperverse

prince and the gardener: based on a tumblr post i'll look for later, the palace gardener falls in love with the prince. they are, of course, none other than hatch and xander. they have therai, palace guard, and eve, reluctant queen, on their side, and life is good. #prince and gardener

warrior cats: the guilty pleasure au. (for me, anyway.) the kids, but set in the warrior cats universe, so they’re all cats. sue us. (actually please don’t, neither of us have any money.) #warrior cats au

dark carnival: Based on the vocaloid song Dark Woods Circus (i lost the link im so sorry), this au is Pippin-centric. Focuses on Pip as they’re dragged to a twisted hell by a demon that goes by the name of Ringmaster (Intem). Everyone in the carnival is a sinner, who was sent to hell for crimes they committed in their lives. Eve and Vik are the twins (Also based off ‘see no evil speak no evil’), Dante’s the deformed diva, and Therai is the blue beast??? He’s the cannibal guy. There’s a happy ending I promise. #dark carnival au

accidental summoning: based on the fic Twine (x) by CrunchyWrites on ao3, hatch is a witch and accidentally summons xander, a demon. they kinda fall in love, but also stuff happens. you’ll see. #accidental summoning

reputations au: ah yes, an au based on an au. this one is based on the fic Reputations (x) by Tromper on ao3. two empires have been at war for the past ten or so years, and it’s been a bloody one. until! each side decides to have their best warriors marry each other as a sort of peace treaty, and it’s a slow burn enemies to husbands to friends to lovers. #reputations au

class swap: basically, we were like “hey what if everyone swapped classes” so! this was born. gotta remember who swapped with who. vik and pippin switched (vik is now a rogue and pippin is a bard), therai and tal switched, i think eve and intem switched, and xander and maybe hatch switched? i think. #class swap

merfolk: everyone is a merfolk! their society is essentially made up of lesserfolk, higherfolk, serpents, and leviathans. anyway it’s life under the sea and it’s great. #merfolk au

pokemon: a pokemon au! we came up with our own region for this one, based on alaska, and it’s actually really good and a lot deeper than i thought it would be! #pokemon au

fairy au: different from FaeU in that everyone is a fairy, instead of mythical creatures. this one is pretty straightforward too. #fairy au

a pirate’s life for me: okay so we were both involved in our school’s production of the musical A Pirate’s Life For Me ([redacted] was cast, i was crew) and after a couple showings we were like “hey new au idea” so. this happened. long story short: eve is a lady, bored of noble life, and decides to go become a pirate to spice things up. her suitor, tal, is heartbroken and says yknow what! if it’s a pirate she wants, it’s a pirate she’ll get! so he goes and becomes a pirate too. eve runs into the notorious Captain Scars (intem) and Captain Vex (vik), and carves a place for herself in infamy as the pirate queen. #pirates life au

warrior princess: [redacted] came up with this one and it’s really cool actually! so, eve is a warrior princess, a role she filled after xander, the kingdom’s warrior prince, mysteriously vanished one day. she fills this role quite well, even if she isn’t particularly happy with her life, until a ~mysterious stranger~ offers to whisk her away to the feywild, so she can be free. (spoilers: she goes with him.) #warrior princess au

the witcher: this has been our hyperfixation for the past couple of weeks (at the time of writing this). marlowe and i decided to watch the witcher netflix series and said “hey new au idea”. i read copious amounts of fics and [redacted] is consuming frankly scary amounts of witcher media, so, this au was born. therai takes the place of geralt, and where would he be without his bard, eve? #witcher au

#gonna tag all the aus here we gooo #pirate au #ccak #flowers #wings au #wolf au #vamp au #outbreak #hanahaki au #faeu #fae u #pantheon #vigilante #vigilante au #reaperverse #prince and gardener #warrior cats au #dark carnival au #accidental summoning #reputations au #reincarnation au #class swap #merfolk au #pokemon au #fairy au #pirates life au #warrior princess au #witcher au #that was entirely too many #mod ash

[agentnico]

High Life (2019) Review

No, not that kind of high-life you stoners!

Plot: Takes place beyond the solar system in a future that seems like the present. About a group of criminals who accept a mission in space to become the subjects of a human reproduction experiment. They find themselves in the most unimaginable situation after a storm of cosmic rays hit the ship.

The f*** did I just watch? I’m serious, this movie is one abstract big mind-boggling piece of I-don’t-even-know-what and you know WHAT? It’s bloody great. This is what cinema is about! Not handing you everything ready on a plate but instead a movie that respects its audience and expects you to make your own thoughts and conclusions. What does this film mean? I’m sure the director Claire Denis has a straight up answer but at the same time at the end of the day its up to each individual person’s interpretation. That’s the beauty of it. But that beauty comes with a price. With this film being as experimental and non-linear as it is, I can assume most people will hate this film. They’ll call it slow, boring, unnecessarily graphic and confusing and you know what, I can see why. This movie is not for everyone. It has a very specific audience demographic. If you are into films that take their time and don’t give you all the answers, in fact leaving you with more questions than anything else, High Life is for you. 

Taking inspiration from the likes of Tarkovsky, Roeg and Kubrick, Denis takes on us to one of the scariest places in existence - space. Just you in a spaceship surrounded by nothingness. Let’s add a bit more, you are surrounded by criminals and you’ve all been forcefully put here with the promise of shortening your prison sentence on Earth. Still not enough? Well how about the leader of this exhibition being a modern-day-witch who collects sperm from all the crew members and does strange tests on them. Okay then, fair enough, trying to make a baby, no harm no foul as they say. But wait, what if one doesn’t provide his sperm willingly? That is when she comes to you at night when you’re asleep drugged up on some strange pills, rides you till you fella down there does his due, then she crouches down to extrude the semen from her vagina, following which she races down the corridors of the spaceship to impregnate one of the sleeping female crew members. Basically double-rape right there. And why all this? Because Claire Denis, that’s why!! This movie is very messed up, I’ll tell ya that. To ‘ease’ matters, High Life’s story jumps all over the timeline. This makes sense for a ship that is, at least partially, devoted to the exploration of black holes. We begin in confusion: Robert Pattinson is alone on an.....WAIT! Hang on, I’ll stop right there. Man, this movie really makes your brain juices going, you just want to talk about it. But I don’t want to spoil anymore. Look, High Life is a very interesting film that is worth the time and attention if you’re willing to provide patience and focus. It is definitely a singular-watch kind of movie, as it is a journey you should experience, but not a lot. At times the movie does act more intelligent than it actually is, especially in certain scenes, but overall this is very provocative and risky film-making from someone who is not afraid to make something different. I’ll say that High Life never reaches the heights of any of Tarkovsky’s films (then again, who could?) but for a modern day science fiction tale it is quite remarkable to say the least. Also watch out for Pattinson’s electric performance, who, like Daniel Radcliffe, has successfully managed to throw off the shackles that held him to franchises about sparkling teen-vamps and moved on to more independent features. And thank god for that!

Overall score: 8/10

#high life #claire denis #science fiction #space #high life review #movie #film #film reviews #movie reviews #2019 #2019 in film #2019 films #drama #mystery #horror #adventure #robert pattinson #juliette binoche #andre benjamin #mia goth #agata buzek #lars eidinger #space travel #exploration #abstract #existentialism #black holes

[brain-leakage-blog]

DM Lessons: Working with What Your Players Want to See

Below is a photo from our last D&D session. Yes, that's a giant frog on the table. The hair elastic around its neck is a lasso, and the miniature on its back represents one of the PC's riding her newly tamed gargantuan monster, and now I'm questioning all of my life choices as a DM...

Joking aside, that picture represents something any DM who wants to keep his or her players engaged needs to consider: what type of fantasy stories have your players been consuming prior to sitting down at your table?

Case in point: I'm a big fan of the pulpy, Weird Tales type fantasy that makes up most of Gary Gygax's famous Appendix N. As such, my campaign's cosmology is ripped straight from Michael Moorcock. My game's elves owe more to his doomed Melnibonéans than to Tolkien's ethereal forest dwellers. I like Vancian Magic. One of my players is currently under a curse inspired by an unfinished Robert E. Howard fragment.

In other words, I sit down to the DMs chair with some pre-loaded assumptions and preferences about the flavor of fantasy I want to imitate in-game.

What most newbie DMs forget is that the players sit down with a similar set of assumptions and preferences. They're looking to experience a certain flavor of fantasy, too. And the success of the game depends heavily on whether or not those flavors are compatible.

For example, one of my campaigns was loosely based around the Crusades, set in a world where most of the Arthurian Myth cycle was historically verified fact. It was a great fit, because I had players that had been reading Ivanhoe and Le Mort de Arthur playing alongside devoted fans of Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon series. 

Another group I ran enjoyed Dante's Inferno, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Steven Brust's brilliant novel To Reign in Hell. I crafted a game where the PCs had all died on the Prime Material Plane and had to adventure through the Nine Hells, which I populated with snarky, sarcastic demons and modern pop-culture references.

So, what about my current game? How closely do my assumptions match up with theirs?

Short answer: not at all. I'm not just the only one who's been reading Howard, Moorcock, and Vance recently. I'm the only one who's read them at all. 

So, what have my players been consuming that I haven't? And more importantly, how did I work that into the game to keep them satisfied and engaged?

First up is my wife, Vanessa. While not much of a fiction reader, she absolutely loves visual works of fantasy. She's an avid fan of artists like Brian Froud and Daniel Merriam. Two of her all-time favorite movies are The Princess Bride and Labyrinth. In short, she prefers a light, whimsical take on the fantasy genre, and when our friends proposed a D&D group, her first question was "Can I play a fairy?"

I did some research, looking for a homebrew race that would be somewhat B/X compatible. I ended up using a variation of the half-pixie Phaerim, detailed in R. Kevin Smoot's New Races: A Basic Fantasy Supplement. Since B/X uses race-as-class, I decided to run her as a winged Halfling, for purposes of level advancement and saving throws. 

The other two players in the group are another married couple, Leah and Aaron. While they've both read the standard genre classics like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, a huge part of their recent fantasy intake has been in anime and manga form. In particular, they're both fans of isekai shows like That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime and Overlord. 

That anime influence was obvious less than halfway through the first session, with the sheer number of called shots and crazy maneuvers both of them attempted in each combat encounter. The problem is that B/X D&D doesn't really support that style of combat, at least not when using Rules as Written. On one hand, the players' options tend to be more open, since not much is spelled out in the rules. The flip side is that the players' power level is pretty low. 

The likeliest result? Lots of dead PCs, and a table full of players who take fewer risks with their newly-rolled replacement characters. And while that gels perfectly with my gritty, Appendix N-flavored sword and sorcery style, it's not really what the players sat down wanting to experience.

In other words, I had to do some adjusting.

One of the first things I did was bump the characters' power level. I introduced the optional Cantrips list from The Basic Fantasy Roleplaying Game, so Leah's Elf could cast more than one spell per day. I also introduced some optional combat maneuvers for Aaron's fighter, like a once per combat Shield Bash that does no damage, but knocks a human sized opponent prone on a successful strike.  

I also entirely re-vamped the game's combat mechanic, which I'll detail in an upcoming post.

The last thing I did was more of a situational call:

When the PCs were crossing a marshland via an ancient causeway, I had them encounter a pair of giant frogs. But instead of my little plastic pogs marking the monsters' position, someone grabbed that stuffed frog off the shelf and dropped it on the mat. 

I quickly changed the encounter to one gargantuan frog, which (based on the stuffed animal's cuteness) my wife's character immediately decided that the party needed to tame. Everyone else was instantly on board with the idea.

I could do one of two things at that point: run it as a standard combat encounter, forcing the players into a fight they didn't really want. Or find a way for them to try it their way. 

Looking over Leah's spell list, I quietly scribbled out the word "person" next to her first level Charm spell.

"This is now an all-purpose Charm," I said. "It still doesn't work on undead or magical creatures. But anything in nature is susceptible. Including giant animals."

If you could only have seen the smiles around that table, folks. 

What followed was a zany, over-the-top combat encounter, in which the PC's weakened the frog enough to lasso it, rode along as it dove into the water and tried to swim away, and then climbed up onto its head in order to look it in the eye and cast Charm.

In other words, it was pretty much the polar opposite of the gritty, sword and sorcery-inspired combat encounter I'd had in mind. My players couldn't have been happier.

As their DM, neither could I.

#brain leakage blog #dnd #giant frog #anime #pulp #sword and sorcery #game report #house rules

[pale-sun-kisses]

I’m still figuring out details but here’s some basics. My brain sets the scene in a modern setting, but with mythical creatures hide in plain sight. Virgil is a one eyed 300+ year old vampire. He doesn’t know his birthday because he was orphaned from a young age and was an abused street rat till his death in his early twenties. Deceit tries to eat him when they first meet. He ends up with the group after saving Patton from a hunter. He also has super strength he’s terrified of and magic. Only offensive and defensive magic though, he can’t do things like track or locate people or things or heal. Roman is a preppy prince and fairy who wanted to have a great adventure. He opened a portal to the human realm, only to find it’s changed from his childhood stories. He doesn’t understand the modern world and literally crash lands into Logan’s life. Roman helps Logan understand magic. He only really knows basic spells in any area of study though because he focused more on physical fighting. The average fairy isn’t stronger than a human, if anything they’re weaker so he trains a lot to stay buff.(His new outfit is because I got tired of drawing the prince get up) Logan is a normal 24 year old human. He is in such good shape because he sticks his nose in other people’s business and either has to book it or fight. He finds out about the supernatural part of the world because of Roman and is overwhelmed by Patton when the bubbly guy smells Roman on him and thinks Logan is supernatural as well till Roman struts up.(His look was influenced by softestvirgil’s punk universe. I love that universe.) Patton is a loveable werewolf, but he’s super lonely as all supernatural creatures he meets before Roman don’t treat him kindly. He’s embarrassed to realize his mistake with Logan, but figures that if the human already knows about Roman and isn’t freaking out and trying to dissect him in a lab it’s fine if he knows about him. He’s the first to reach out to Deceit when the snake shows up and helps with finding new things for the naga to eat instead of people. The others guard Patton on his special nights to try to keep him from hurting others and being hunted. Once his wolf know you to be part of the pack he won’t attack. Deceit is obviously a naga. He’s nearly as old as Virgil and for the first half of his life didn’t care about others because of how he was raised to think everyone who wasn’t naga or wendigos were food. After a while of being on his own and getting a depressing wakeup call, he starts experimenting with different foods and animals. He feels bad when he meets Virgil again and tries to make it up to the vamp. They end up pretty close, bonding over their weird diets and movies. He finds his magic hat while hiding from a mob of humans trying to kill him. He has magic and can make himself look like others, but it takes too much concentration to hold for long periods of time and often slips at inopportune times. So he loves the hat even if it does make him speak in opposites. He likes the villainous look anyways. (But let’s be real, I hate drawing his hat.)

I don’t know if I’ll be adding to their stories or not. Just wanted to lay some ground work if I do anything with them and give you a reason for my versions of the Sanders sides to look different. On the note of shipping, I don’t have a main ship. I personally think they’re all cute and won’t bash any of them. Plus it opens a lot of doors for doodling misquotes.

#roman sanders #virgil sanders #vampire virgil #logan sanders #punk logan #patton sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #thomas sanders

[myassbrokethefall]

Do you have any favorite scifi shows? Or any recommendations?

Well! This is a fun ask. Let me see…

So, I really like sci-fi, but sometimes I also don’t like sci-fi. I overdosed a little bit on spaceship stuff after my years of Star Trek obsession and then BSG (and like, I hear The Expanse is great but I just…haven’t been in the mood), and these days my favorite sci-fi is talky, high-concept atmospheric mystery stuff in a fairly realistic world where something is a little bit weird. What I really DON’T like is violence/shooting/chasing/action, and a lot of sci-fi, unfortunately, is that. (Westworld, I am looking at your ass.) I also am a LITTLE bit over sci-fi as sledgehammery social parable, again a la Star Trek. Even though I’ll always love Star Trek (and will get around to watching Discovery one of these days). 

Some sci-fi TV that I’ve enjoyed recently includes:

(hey surprise, this got very long! so it’s under a cut)

Dark. There’s just one season of this on Netflix right now, but I LOVVVVVED it. Talk about atmospheric. It made me want to move to Germany and live in a forest where it rains all the time. It’s in German – this isn’t a bother to me because I like subtitles, but it’s available dubbed as well if you prefer that. It takes place in a small town and starts with a missing child, and it quickly becomes clear that something strange is going on. Time travel is an element. A central part of it becomes about the way all the characters in the town are interconnected and how the events of the past affect the future. It’s part Lost, part Stranger Things, part Back to the Future. 

The Returned/Les Revenants. So there’s an American show called The Returned as well, and this is not that one – the one I’m talking about is in French (sorry…I swear some ones without subtitles are coming) and was on uh, IFC or something like that. One day in a(n extremely attractive and cinematic) French town in the mountains, a girl comes home from a class field trip…except she died on that field trip years ago, in a bus accident, and her family is completely shocked and freaked out. The same thing is happening all across town. Includes one (1) very creepy child. Very spooky and also super atmospheric. (One reason I loved Dark so much was that aesthetically it reminded me of Les Revenants.)

The 4400. I binged this show and had a window of time in my life where I was super obsessed with it. Premise is similar to The Returned, actually: A bunch of people (4,400 of them to be precise) who were believed to be the victims of alien abductions – across many years – are returned to earth all at the same time, all at the age they left. So you have a man who was taken in the 1950s (Mahershala Ali!) and a little girl from the 1930s, etc., all dropped back into modern-day America – and most of them (all of them? I forget) have mysterious powers of various kinds. Two police detectives (am I predictable or what) investigate. Things escalate from there. It is a little XF-y in a way I appreciate, while also being totally different (and much less arty than something like Les Revenants). 

Stranger Things. I might as well list it…everyone knows about this show but it really is pretty great. Season 1 especially. Huge ET vibes, creepy/Spielbergy, not a cop-out where it’s all a metaphor or something (pet peeve). 

Fringe. This isn’t so recent (well, neither is The 4400), but if you like sci-fi and you haven’t watched it, you should! It starts out being a liiiiiiittle bit of a less-hooky ripoff of XF (a group of FBI folks, including a retired mad scientist basically, investigate paranormal cases), but after a few episodes it finds its groove and it becomes its own weird and wonderful thing. It was a show I really enjoyed and it ended satisfyingly. John Noble as Walter Bishop is fantastic, and one thing I really loved about it was that it was not afraid to make things happen and shake up the premise if needed. 

Jessica Jones. I really, really am not into Marvel or any of the superhero stuff, but I like this show a lot. It puts the idea of having “powers” in a very grounded kind of gritty, cynical, noir-y setting and I enjoy that. It’s also woman-focused, which is nice, and it’s just different from other stuff on TV. I dig it. 

Orphan Black. Man, I loved Orphan Black. What a fun show, and – not necessarily the most important thing to me in a show, but hugely refreshing nonetheless – it’s also very woman-centered. The premise is that a woman named Sarah sees someone who looks exactly like her – right before the doppelganger throws herself in front of a train. And in unraveling the mystery, Sarah learns that she’s a clone and she has a bunch of “sisters.” Tatiana Maslany is FREAKING AMAZINGGGGG as all the various clones. It is definitely sci-fi, but it’s also a lot of fun and just a fast-moving, action-packed (but not in a way that makes my eyes glaze over) cool-ass show. 

Grimm. Grimm was a pretty silly network-y show, but my affection for it really never waned (though it also never really went too far above “mild”). Premise: Basically, that fairytale monsters (broadly speaking) are real and walk among us (disguised for the most part), and there are these people called Grimms who can see them and are supposed to fight them. Lots of ancient documents, old books, mysterious keys, etc. This one dude who is a police detective in Portland (it was shot in Portland and is basically the second Portland-iest show after Portlandia, as far as I can tell) finds out that he’s a Grimm, and he meets this guy who is one of these monsters but also a delightfully civilized clock nerd who becomes his friend and helps him learn about this hidden world, and it’s pretty much monster-of-the-week episodes every week (though there is a mytharc of sorts involving an evil cabal of European royalty or something, snore). I think it’s the people who did Angel (which I never watched; I’m not a Buffy person). It also started the same year as Once Upon a Time, so it was the “other” fairytale show.

The Leftovers. Technically, it’s sci-fi. It’s also just very imaginative storytelling, and is a good example of what I mean by high-concept and atmospheric and something being a little bit weird in an otherwise contemporary setting. (This is a post-Lost Damon Lindelof, and Damon Lindelof has learned from his Lost mistakes, with wonderful results.) The central premise is a sci-fi one (2% of the earth’s population mysteriously vanishes), but aside from that there are also just a lot of kind of fantastic imaginative leaps and surreal settings and…ah, The Leftovers. My standard intro/warning: Season 1, while really good, is VERY depressing; Season 2 becomes marginally less depressing while also changing things up considerably and in my opinion becoming much better; Season 3 is even better than that. Love you, show. 

Lost. I suppose I should mention it even though it’s another obvious one. I have rarely been hooked as hard as I was by the pilot of this show. It doesn’t necessarily deliver on everything it promises, and it’s interesting to think of it in terms of it being one of the first shows to, basically, cancel itself – to choose to end so that it could pace its story effectively and lead to a deliberate ending instead of just vamping forever and trying to keep sucking the audience in for one more season until that stopped working and it was canceled. However, before that happened there was some time-killing, and I think that maybe contributes to people’s perception that it didn’t know what it was doing half the time. A divisive ending that I did not have a problem with. If you watch it in the spirit of being taken on a ride and enjoying the feelings that the twists and turns give you in the moment, you’ll find it more satisfying than if you’re trying to solve every mystery and trying to make it all work out perfectly with every loose end tied up.  

The OA. This was a weird-ass motherfucking show on Netflix and I still don’t know what the fuck it was about. I feel like I dreamed it. It maybe involves angels? And stuff. 

Carnivale. Lord, talk about atmosphere. This was an HBO show several years ago now about a creepy traveling circus in the 1930s. Being on HBO, it’s very violent and dirty and twisted and stuff. I was obsessed with it, and loved watching it although I vaguely remember the ending being not super satisfying? I should rewatch it, really, because I have forgotten a lot about it beyond impressions (it started in 2003). It’s not that sci-fi, but it has kind of mysterious portents and shit like that all over the place. Anytime I see anything remotely carnival-y I’m like AAAHHH CARNIVALE

Westworld. Sigh…I’m having a lot of trouble connecting to the season of Westworld that’s currently airing (Season 2, on HBO). I loved Season 1. My opinion is that they blew their premise too quickly and now they have nowhere to go – it’s just been violent chaos of the sort that puts me to sleep. Literally – one episode a couple of weeks ago I tried to watch and fell asleep during TWICE – two evenings in a row – before I finally got through it on Day 3. Because it was just a bunch of shooting. But the premise is cool – in the undetermined nearish future, there is a giant elaborate theme park where extremely realistic robots interact with the superrich guests who pay to come and basically be super destructive and violent (this show doesn’t have a particularly high opinion of humanity) in an Old West-themed setting. Like Disney World if your dream was to fuck and murder everyone in the Hall of Presidents. It’s made by one of the Nolans so there are lots of twists and also you don’t know what the hell is going on half the time. But there are some high-budget groovy sci-fi set pieces in it, and if you like amazing piano covers of popular songs (sometimes but not always in the in-show context of the player piano in the saloon), that is a fantastic bonus (the music is terrific overall). ROBOTS.

Battlestar Galactica. Speaking of robots. I loved the hell out of this show, although I have my issues with it. I felt when I first saw it (this is the 2000s remake I’m talking about, not the 1970s original) that it was like Star Trek had grown up. It gets more and more high-concept the longer it goes on, and some people weren’t fans of where it ended up (I, again, was fine with it), but it starts out with a hell of a premise: Cylons (humanlike robots originally created by humanity, which then evolved) destroy almost all of the human race except for a few stragglers in a few scattered ships, who have to pull together and somehow survive. Great acting, great writing, big themes, Laura Roslin. 

Black Mirror. This is an anthology series, meaning each one is a short story basically, with different characters, a different near-future setting, and a different premise (often having to do with technology going wrong. In the words of Mallory Ortberg: What If Phones, But Too Much?) Some of them are better than others but if you can take some upsetting conceptual stuff, it’s really a super interesting show. Your bingeing tolerance may vary, but I personally could not handle more than a couple of episodes a night.

Roswell. Holy shit I was so into this fucking teen soap opera about aliens. Also not recent. They might do a remake of this I heard?? MAX + LIZ 4EVA

Millennium. Yes…Chris Carter’s Other Show. I’ve said this before, but in a weird way I feel like this show is…CC’s best work???? Without the chemistry supernova of Mulder and Scully dimming everything around it, the “scary stories” he’s always talking about actually have room to be kind of interesting. It also works with his inclination to do what is essentially an anthology series loosely connected via recurring characters that are almost more narrators/observers than participants. In XF, this makes me want to break things when it results in stagnated character growth and no continuity and endless reset-button-pushing. In Millennium, Frank wandering grimly through the show universe encountering fable after fable (grimmer than XF – less on the stretchy mutants and fat-sucking vampires and lake monsters and Reticulans and spooky green bugs; more serial killers and cults and angels and apocalyptic stuff) actually worked pretty darn well for me. It’s not that the characters aren’t good, but they are VERYYYYY archetypal (kind of like how M&S could have been if not given such aliveness and humanity by David and Gillian, and Morgan and Wong and Vince Gilligan at that). Frank Black is the tormented detective, he has a beautiful kind wife and an innocent young daughter and they live in a beatific yellow house and he has to keep them safe from the evils out in the darkness. You might say this is hammered home a lot. But: the kind of mythic tone of it is a much better fit here than on XF. Lance Henriksen is perfect as Frank, and some of the stories are really absorbing and emotional. I cried during WAY more Millennium episodes (I can think of three or four off the top of my head that I remember WEEPING openly over, one of which stars Darren McGavin) than I ever have at XF. 

Everything changes in Season 2 when Morgan and Wong take over as (I believe) showrunners – things lighten up considerably versus S1; there’s even a Darin episode! With Jose Chung! And the Spotnitz Sanitarium! – and then everything changes again in S3 when they leave. The show does suffer from a lack of cohesion in that sense, and frankly the “mytharc” parts never did a lot for me (loosely, the world is going to end in the year 2000 and a cabal of mysterious dudes something something). But there is a lot of cool shit in this show. There really is. Every few years I attempt a rewatch and never finish; I should try again. In late fall, which is the only time Millennium should be watched. 

 BONUS

Face Off. This isn’t sci-fi per se (it’s a reality competition show, on Syfy), but if you’re a sci-fi person you might love it. The way I describe it to people is very simple: It’s the exact same premise and structure as Project Runway, except instead of fashion, it’s FX makeup. The best thing about it is that everyone is NICE and HELPFUL to each other. It’s a bunch of creative nerds making monsters together and the competition element is there but no one is a dick and there’s no fighting and drama. Michael Westmore, who did the makeup on Star Trek: TNG among many other acclaimed projects, is the mentor (and the dad of the show’s host, McKenzie Westmore), and he pops in to give dad advice to all these starstruck dorks. The new season just started and it’s just a fun show. I have, at times, thought of it as my FAVORITE show on TV. 

Well, that was probably more than you wanted, anon! I feel like I’m missing some, too. TV! I like it. 

#scifi #this is very long #hit me up with your faves! #how did it get to be 12:30? i might reblog this tomorrow since no one is awake lol #ask: can you recommend any scifi shows? #me: transcribes every thought i have ever had about any scifi show in my entire life #i feel like these answers are all super basic oh well #Anonymous

[oneweekoneband]

Ninety One, “Kaytadan” (Қайтадан), from Aiyptama (2015), released as a single spring 2016

(Warning: no lens flares this time, but there is a very brief sequence of a man and a woman having a physically violent argument. She gets away fine, but if you’d rather not, skip from 1:20 to 1:35 to avoid it.)

The most interesting aspect of the video for “Kaytadan” I’ll discuss later, but let’s get the distractions: out of the way now: one has to have the proverbial heart of stone to get through Alem’s climactic acting moment without laughing; I think Bala may actually be laughing, while rolling around on the pavement; and ACE IS IN PAIN,Y’ALL.

Now on to the song, which I would describe as approximately three and three-quarter minutes of decent pop song and 18 seconds of brilliant pop song--the 18 seconds being the bridge, which begins with AZ’s distorted, hiccuping version of the chorus, as if while bathing clothed he inhaled two lungfuls’ worth of water, and proceeds to Alem gently backing AZ up, providing a link between smooth performance and messy emotion. It’s jolting to hear the start of the bridge as if the song is going out of control; it’s jolting to realize a few seconds later that the song has never been out of control. That bridge elevates the rest of the song.

Let me now take space to acknowledge that “decent pop song” is damning with extremely faint praise in some quarters. Pop music has so thoroughly saturated our culture, regardless of the position of the brow, that you actually have to make a real effort to find people carrying on the tradition of Pop Music Is Making Us All Dumb that Allan Bloom spent time passing on in The Closing of the American Mind. (Dwight McDonald, who did as much as anyone to make “middlebrow” a pejorative, would probably not be impressed that as I write this that the “most popular” article on the New Yorker’s website is an obituary for Chester Bennington.) Even journals of conservative thought are nowadays reluctant to condemn pop music outright, partly because its younger writers grew up listening to pop, partly because the rise of right-wing populism means that hating some pop music examples (Beyoncé) and not others (Toby Keith) makes a more valuable signal than hating the whole thing. Fortunately Sir Roger Scruton is still with us. This essay, although dating from the late 1990s--a good portion of it is spent discussing the Sensation exhibit, for those of you wondering what we had culture wars over before Tumblr--is a good example of his work. Let me quote one paragraph for flavor:

Even when modern pop aims to be lyrical, melody is synthesised from trite and standardised phrases, which could be rearranged in any order without losing the effect. It is not that such music is tuneless: rather that the tune comes from elsewhere, like food from the drive-round pizza merchant. A characteristic example is the recent hit by Mary J. Blige: ‘Get to Know You Better’. Here the melody is assembled from a small set of notes, arranged around the flat lyrics, and without internal movement. The effect is emphasized by the yukky thirteenth chords and droopy vamping which open the piece, with a sound that suggests someone trying carefully to puke into a wine glass.

Here’s another example, in which Crystal Castles gets held up as an exemplar of moral and aesthetic decay. To the best of my knowledge Scruton has never written about Kazakh pop; I’m going to go ahead and presume that he’d find “Kaytadan” slightly less appealing than dog vomit.

Some of you are going to read the linked essay, get to the line about “the vogue for deconstruction, Marxian analysis, feminism, and all the other intellectual and pseudo-intellectual devices”, and immediately nope on out.  Myself I feel a certain amount of futility in trying to battle Scruton’s criticisms. The first tape I remember as being “mine” was Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA, and the first CD I made a point of buying with my own money was History: America’s Greatest Hits; my mother basically gave up on all music made after 1978, pop or otherwise, and I inherited my father’s breadth of taste--in his case, smooth jazz, decidedly-not-smooth jazz, Beethoven, Glen Campbell--but neither of us have the vocabulary to justify said taste; my elementary school music teacher was sweet but largely ineffectual. Thus I suspect from Scruton’s side of the argument, any attempt on my end to make a counter-argument would simply be proof of the paucity of my musical education, the stuntedness of my supposed thinking brought about after a lifetime’s worth of suffocation by pop music. (One’s attempted counterargument as proof of one’s having been irredeemably corrupted appears in left-wing critiques of pop, too; but that’s a subject for another time.)

So instead of indignantly trying to bat away Scruton’s condemnation of pop, let me keep it here in the room and try to sound out its implications. If pop is corrupt and corrupting rubbish, then is there much point in talking about a song like “Kaytadan”? To put it differently, are there potential degrees of rubbish? Scruton seems to think so; he comes down harder on Oasis than the Beatles, and harder on Crystal Castles than Mary J. Blige. But that may simply be a matter of time passing: which is not a reference to Scruton’s age but that, if his theories are right, than the Beatles were closer, temporally and socially, to a less-corrupt musical age than Oasis was to begin with. If anything, that may be a reason to be more critical of “Kaytadan”: on a Kazakh group mindlessly adopting American-begun pop pablum when they still ought to have other options available.

Put the question another way: is there room for the hiccuping bridge, or rather the case for the hiccuping bridge, in Scruton’s critique? Or, rather: how should change occur, in a model of corruptible pop music? In a field where the pressure to conform to the three-minute, verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus-out model can be quite strong, simply changing things up can win attention, but change by itself isn’t going to redeem pop--Crystal Castles is definitely more original than “Kaytadan,” but per the Scruton model that doesn’t make them less contemptible. (For those needing a counterargument: there’s a whole Crystal Castles OWOB to peruse!) So just calling the hiccuping bridge “different” or “unexpected” doesn’t do much.

Here’s why I have such praise for the hiccuping bridge. It is artificially distorted, in a way that calls attention to itself. (It’s hard to tell, when Ninety One is performing live, how much help AZ is getting from the backing track; my guess is he can get the yelping effect across somewhat but it wouldn’t be as clear as it is in the studio track.) That in itself is nothing particularly innovative: announcing the presence of Auto-Tune and the like is now an old trick by pop standards. But the computer-enhanced distortion in “Kaytadan” is to enhance the emotion that’s been in the song’s lyrics but not entirely supported by the vocals. Bala in particular sounds callow in the second verse, more showing off his runs than projecting fear of giving up on a damaged relationship. I do wonder if that’s why the video for this reads as so melodramatic, as if it has to do extra emotional work.

Then the bridge: AZ runs through his rap, but then sounds like he can’t even breathe, like he’s having a panic attack at the thought of the argument failing, of the beloved leaving; and Alem comes in, far quieter than he was at the start of the song, serious, cowed. And then the song builds to the final repeat of the chorus, with Ace doing the belting, but by then the intensity makes sense: oh, wait, there really is something at stake here.

The standard (for listeners; I can’t speak for engineers) has been to associate audible technical manipulation of pop vocals with a lack of emotion, a cue to not take the whole thing so seriously: hence T-Pain’s progression from “I’m N Luv (Wit a Stripper)” to “I’m on a Boat” and guest appearances on Auto-Tune the News was unsurprising. More subtle manipulation is also often anti-emotion, in that it’s used to squeeze out imperfections in the singers’ voices, to standardize the final product (assuming the final product isn’t just a re-recording to sound “live” without actually being live). So listeners take a fairly cynical approach to manipulation. Understandably; horrifyingly, presumably, to Scruton, since it represents one more step away from music as reinforcer of shared culture to music as secondary point in idol-worship.

Myself I have always been more a fan of Virginia Postrel than of Scruton, more likely to be hopeful about than horrified by the extensions of our lives through technological advancement. Thus the possibility of human emotion enhanced by, rather than smoothed over by, vocal manipulation encourages me. Most of “Kaytadan” is a bit cynical, in its conformity to pop standards, but the bridge is not; and that would not be enough to redeem “Kaytadan” in Scruton’s eyes, but it is in mine.

introductory post / all Ninety One posts

#ninety one #kaytadan

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 2]

So it turns out I’m a dirty liar who can’t get his act together in a timely fashion. But at least I’m here now! And, boy, is this a chapter!

Just as a heads-up, things get a little sexual in this chapter, and consent isn’t established beforehand, so it does read as a bit iffy. 

Recap: Sixteen-year-old Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, referred to by the nickname “Tiaa” with two As for some reason, has just started school in Forks. She’s living with new foster parents who we haven’t met yet. Also she is ethereal and smells like mint and cinnamon. The chapter ended with her bumping into Edward on the way to class.

Chapter 1

AN - VINCENT or watever ur name is thanx 4 the LAME reviw. u totall D*** no one is MAKIN u reed this fic if you dont like it then leave.

I actually really like this fic, so I shan’t be leaving. Also, Vincent’s review was actually fairly positive; he said it’s awful and he’d like to see more of it, please.

Clestal zodiac and brittany j - thanx for the advice on my character but shes not a marysue, she's not "perfect" look she has anger problems and she looks the way she does 4 a reason i will explain it as the story goes on.

Both of these reviewers called Tiaa a Mary Sue and one linked her to a Mary Sue litmus test. 

I probably don’t need to say it, but Mary Sues don’t need to be perfect, just presented unrealistically. Sure, stereotypical examples are all gorgeous, multitalented teenage girls who steal the spotlight from the canon cast (Tiaa’s basically that stereotype, possibly minus the multitalented bit since that’s not been established yet), but there are loads of Mary Sue characters who don’t fit that mold exactly, or at all. I talked about the “anger problems” thing last time, and even if her looks are justified (spoilers: they aren’t, really) they’re still being dwelled on way too much. We don’t know much of anything about Forks, Tiaa’s peers, or even Edward, but we know Tiaa smells like mint and cinnamon. It’s a classic case of an author being so invested in a character that her priorities as a writer are completely off. Or it would be if this wasn’t a trollfic.

Chapter 2 - edward

The anger faded form my sapphire eyes

"whatevah" i said sweatily "I didnt mean to yell and to be ride”

My initial thought was that the author meant “sweetly” instead of “sweatily,” but I actually think “sweatily” works better because Tiaa’s probably perspiring over how hot the pale guy is. Also, come to think of it, you can totally say something sweatily and I think it’s an adverb we should all be using more often.

"thou are too beuatiful for that" he said, and for once I didnt feel like cockdropping the guy for paying me a compilement, instead I just smiled.

You see what I mean about how incredible this fic’s prose is? We just went from mangled Ye Olde English to “cockdropping” in the course of a single sentence.

No idea what “cockdropping” means but it definitely ought to be a word. BeckyMac666 is the next Shakespeare or Carroll, honestly. Voice of a generation right here.

"I'm Ewdard Cullen" he mermered "who are thee?”

Get used to that typo; Edward gets called “Ewdard” a hell of a lot in this story. Think Enoby from “My Immortal.”

"Altatntiana Loren but you can call me Tiana or mabye Tiaa" i said feeling shy at the way he was looking at me. 

That typo, on the other hand, only happens once to my recollection.

I had seen THAT look in so many male eyes but never quite as intense or sexy! His eyes burned like hot gold velvet in the midday sun like peonix feathers and rainbows, so gold and magical.

There’s a lot happening in that simile. Possibly too much. 

"thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional""

And thou art poorly written, Ewdard.

Not sure how I feel about the mental image of Edward vomiting up a hand and brushing Tiaa’s cheek with it, but it probably did improve the sentence.

"your not so shanky yourself but i couldn't help noticing you have a fricking GF, you ass! I saw u with her in the cafeteria!" 

Shanky?

Just for fun, and in case anyone reading this avoided exposure to Twilight itself, let me talk a little about Edward’s portrayal so far. First off, the Ye Olde English makes no sense — Edward was bitten after falling ill during the 1918 swine flu pandemic, if memory serves, so his speech would be modern (albeit antiquated) English even assuming he didn’t pick up any phrases from being around modern teens. Second off, Edward is really disinterested in… well, everyone but Bella, and with Bella he initially freaks out because he doesn’t know how to deal with being attracted to a human. (Do I date her? Do I suck her blood?) Even if I go with the notion that he’s also into Tiaa, we know this isn’t how he behaves around someone he likes. And he’s a mind-reader, so presumably he knows what Tiaa’s thinking and could shift his behavior accordingly — except that I have a bad feeling Tiaa, like Bella, is immune from having her mind read.

The flowery descriptions are straight outta Twilight, though.

I notched his hand hard with my long black nails.

Sounds painful.

"thee DID notice me then?" he purred with a sly grin. 

I mean… it’s a small school, it’s not weird that she saw you. Someone so pale he looks like printer paper tends to stand out. Also she never claimed not to have noticed him.

I was up against the wall with his face right close to me now. He wanted to sex me I could tell, and suddenly he was kissing me! 

The boy wastes no time, I see. Be nice if he asked first, but… in a fic like this, I don’t know what I was expecting.

Side note: yes, this is incredibly out of character. Edward is a save-it-for-marriage kind of guy, and he’s got practical reasons — the strength difference between a vampire and a human means it’s easy for somebody (the human) to get accidentally hurt.

I felt like my slim legs would break in half and my heart expanded like a big balloon. 

Can’t say that I either understand or relate to that.

I fell his hand sliding softly down my neck an underneath my top. 

By this point I think we’ve moved beyond “tempation.”

He stoked my breasts for a few minutes and his man-carrot standing in action and hard as a rock against my legs. 

His… man-carrot. What a fic this is!

And then he ripped my top and pulled it of me and doped it on the floor. 

I can’t really say anything to make this sillier except that I think all this is still happening in the locker room of a public high school. Also they just met.

We made out for 10 minutes and then he tried to take of my bra but I pushed him away suddenly thinking WTF Tiaa are you just gonna let this total stranger take your cloths off in school where anyone could see you? 

It took her ten minutes to think of this? I mean… I’ll cut her some slack, they are (presumably) alone, she’s only sixteen, and she’s very attracted to this guy. But c’mon, how did it take her this long to think “wait a minute, maybe it’s bad to engage in foreplay at school with a guy I just met who is dating somebody else”?

I'd never let a guy kiss me before or touch me and suddenly I was letting this cheating sicko with a FRICKIN GF grope me just cause he was uber hawt with sexoy hair and cold as death! 

Why is his coldness being treated as a selling point here?

I was acting like a biatch and a slut and I was suddenly very ashamed of my actions.

To be fair, she didn’t really do anything. He instigated, and she just… went along with it, I guess. I wouldn’t be that ashamed. He’s the one with the girlfriend.

-BASTARD! Never touch me again!" i gapsed

"If thou thinks thou can keep thou hands of me!" he answered all smug, and I couldn't believe how he made me feel so angry and so aroosed at the same time. 

I too think it’s hot when random boys start undressing me in public and then act like it’s my fault somehow while speaking in bad Ye Olde English! So aroosing!

(I’m joking. Please no one do this to me. I will call my lawyer.)

At that moment I'd never HATED anyboy more in my whole life and the worst part of it was he was SO FREAKIN HAWT I was totally creaming my panties and he NEW it, this was horible! 

Really didn’t need to know the panties bit.

I felt disguised with myself and turned to leave.

"Wait! I need to speck to thee! I no your secret tiaa"he said in a quiet voce gassing into my eyes "your one of my kind. who made thee ?are you part of a coven or on thou own?

So Edward thinks Tiaa’s a vampire? While that could potentially explain some things, it also raises a hell of a lot more questions.

Like… maybe Edward felt justified in coming on strong thinking Tiaa was a vampire and therefore on equal footing with him (as opposed to how he acts with Bella). Doesn’t really fit with his character, but I’ll go with it. But Tiaa doesn’t appear to be a vampire, and so this… complicates things. A lot.

Vampires, in the Twilight world and in most myth, don’t age, yet Tiaa claims to have had a normal (albeit bad) childhood and to be only sixteen chronologically. Maybe she’s an unreliable narrator, but, if so, why is she pretending to be human, and why pull a reveal this early in the story? It also doesn’t explain her lack of other vampiric traits; she hasn’t talked about craving blood or even smelling it, her eyes are blue (Twilight vamps have black eyes when hungry, red after feeding on humans, or gold after feeding on animals), and she has no superhuman ability that we know of. 

I guess Edward really can’t read her mind, or he’d know she’s not a vampire, but why isn’t he bothered at not being able to get a read on her? And are we really supposed to believe Tiaa is just so extraordinarily beautiful that a vampire assumed she was also a vampire? Because… wow.

"what-is said sharply -dude your insane! And you freakin SMELL! (he didnt really smell but I didnt no what else to say!)

Wow, owned.

"thy a CAMPIRE tia! 

Gay vampire who’s into drag and musical theater?

a VAMPIRE! 

Which is it?

BUT WHY CAN'T I READ THOU MIND? 

Oh, he actually is bothered by that. Got it. I thought the author had forgotten Edward can read minds. Sorry, BeckyMac666, I don’t give you enough credit.

I THOUGHT BELLA WAS THE ONLY ONE BUT HERE THOU ARE! WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEEEEAN!"

He punched the wall with his buckly fist and shouted suddenly furious and his eyes flickered red.

Isn’t Buckly Fist the guy who writes Ctrl+Alt+Del?

I schlepped him hard across the face and tried to leave but he caught my waste and as I struggled and tried to hit him again he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall where his hand had already made a huge dint in the wall. 

Good fight scene. I like that she schlepped (made a reluctant or arduous journey) him across the face rather than slapped him across the face. And that he hammed (overacted) her against the wall rather than slammed her against the wall. And… all the other typos.

His face was blunt and right heavy in mine. 

Dunno what this means but it sounds a bit British.

My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs and he drubbed over in pan. 

Massive throbbing gigglestick.

I.

Wow.

Good fic.

I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.

There’s a lot going on here and none of it makes sense but it’s all rather evocative.

"TIAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOOO!"he screamed after me tearing his shrit of himself in fury and throwing it over my eyes. 

Why did he throw his shirt over her face? Dude’s superhumanly fast! He could have just grabbed her if he wanted! Also, he thinks she’s a vampire, and a shirt definitely wouldn’t slow her down if she was one!

I lost my sight and was behind me breathing into my ears.

Interesting mental image.

"i'm sorry tiaa" he wimpered sadly picking me up off the floor and gazing mutely into my eyes "i didnt mean to rut thee! 

“Rut” as a verb refers to a mating ritual that deer and some other mammals engage in. It’s not actual mating, or anything similar to what Tiaa and Ewdard just did; it’s when males fight each other for access to females. So far as I know, this is not a Ye Olde Worde for Sex or Rape or Throwing Your Shirt Over Someone’s Head.

I'm so contemptuos! I APOLOGIZE! THIS IS JUST SO WEIRD!"

I mean… yeah, he’s not wrong.

"YOUR so frickin weird you mean!" I snaped whitely as he lay on the floor so hawt and crying with his shirt off with his pippling body. 

Hoping that “snaped” is a “My Immortal” reference.

I wanted to forgive him for calling me a vampire(VAMPIRE! I'd heard that one before from preppy losers asking if I sleep in a coffin and suck blood like LETSAT just cause I like eyeliner and listen to Linken Park)and making fun of me and trying to force me against the wall and maybe plunder my crevises but i didnt. 

I actually like the detail here. A goth girl assuming that she’s being called a vampire not in a literal sense but as a comment on her fashion is… kind of funny.

Not gonna comment on that innuendo because honestly I don’t think I can say anything to make it more absurd.

I left him crying on the floor and went to find my class. As I entered math class i suddenly droped my bocks again as a flashing pain burned in my left hand as my brithmark glinted gold for a second (NO JOKE!)then I fell over. 

It’s a good thing you said “no joke.” I would have assumed you were joking otherwise. Y’know, the old “my scar is glowing gold!” gag.

The pain was suddenly gone and some weirdo blond freak called Eric was helping me up and staring at me like a pervo rapist. I kicked him in the sholder (kung fu babie!)as he gazed longingly after me. 

I’d maybe be more inclined to side with Tiaa on this one if she hadn’t just went along with it when a strange boy made sexual advances towards her. This dude just helped her to her feet while looking at her weird. And, to be fair, she’s not wearing a shirt.

In his frickin dreams. I sat down at the back of the class unable to think about anythin but my weird enconter with edward cullen, wondering what it all could mean.

I think it means you’re in a badfic? Could be wrong.

AN what do u think PLEASE R n R?.BIG SHoutout 2 my friend abigail gud luk for 2moro!)did u see i put the man-carrot thing in!) LMAO! Also love 2 tiffi & rach(and zaccibaby of corse!) LOVE U GUYZ SO MUCH!X X X beckymac x x

If anyone knows what language this is PM me the translation.

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment! Will Edward give in to tempation? Oh, wait, he already did, never mind.

Next chapter

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

[mintypothos]

vamp burr- prologue

Being a vampire in the modern day was a lot more difficult than most would imagine, Aaron knew intimately. The glory days of terrorizing the night and amassing nearly unlimited power were gone. Not that Aaron had even been alive to see any so called glory days, having only turned a few years ago. He wasn't sure if that made it better or worse.

Lately, things seemed to point to worse no matter what any old vampires thought, if any were still around. For one, the strange magical rule where vampires needed to be given permission to enter a home held true, while common courtesies changed.

Aaron was sure no olden time vampires had ever been made to stand outside a human's apartment waiting for something a little closer to an invitation than “The door's unlocked!”. Then again, Aaron didn't have to do this often, either. It was really a Hamilton specific problem.

“Honestly, couldn't you hear me yelling?” Hamilton griped as he flung the door open. That still wasn't an invitation. Aaron raised his eyebrows, hoping he would actually greet him. But Hamilton didn't, merely standing to one side and gesturing at the open door as if Aaron couldn't see it. “Well?” Still not an invitation.

Aaron considered making it into a point, but better to just move things along. “May I come in?” At the very least, Aaron was already known for his politeness, so asking such a thing just came off as pretentious instead of strange.

“Obviously,” Hamilton scoffed with a roll of his eyes. And there it was, Aaron felt the energy in the air shift, inviting and greedy. He stepped in, nearly wincing as the natural magic in every human home enveloped him. It always felt like he was being consumed, and the fact that it was Hamilton's essence doing so made it more intense. A home's energy field was always uniquely reflective of its owner, and Hamilton was nothing if not intense.

Aaron shook off his misgivings- the feeling would fade into the background as it always did. “So you wanted to ask my opinion on a potential work case?” He knew it was bullshit; Hamilton always tried to disguise his desire to rant about coworkers as discussing a potential lawsuit. It was so obvious that Aaron stopped charging after the first time, although really what Hamilton was asking for usually warranted a consultation fee.

Aaron justified it by the knowledge that Hamilton wouldn't actually take his professional advice anyways. Plus, Aaron was lonely. As Maria kept saying, he needed more friends than just her, and if this guy was practically hounding him, he should at least throw him a bone. It was good advice, as always. Still, Aaron privately thought she might change her mind after actually meeting the man.

As expected, Hamilton started by pouring a french press coffee for both of them and immediately launching into a complaint against his long time enemy, Legislative Director Thomas Jefferson. Aaron knew he should probably tell Alexander at some point that he was actually already friends with Thomas, but frankly it was fun listening to Hamilton's dramatic impressions of him. And Thomas could be a real prick when he wanted to be, so Hamilton wasn't even that far off most of the time- merely overstated.

Aaron listened to Hamilton talk, only interjecting with advice they both knew was hypothetical at best- there was no way in actual hell that Hamilton stood the slightest chance of launching a successful lawsuit over Thomas' general incompetence. That the man was actually highly competent was actually the least of many objections. But it was a certain kind of interesting, a mental exercise, and Hamilton was certainly entertained by it.

Hamilton retrieved them both another drink, this time alcoholic. Aaron held back a grimace- red wine. It didn't even look like blood aside from the colour, and it smelled entirely dissimilar, but it made his gut clench anyways. It only served as a reminder that Aaron probably needed to feed tonight in order to keep his strength up. The sun was over-all weaker thanks to the winter season, but it could still make him collapse if he didn't stay on top of things.

“I should be going,” Aaron announced, deciding to cut the visit short. The blood red wine unsettled him more than he wanted to admit, and he really should get going if he wanted to scout out a victim.

“Oh come on, don't go yet,” Hamilton cajoled, raising his glass. “Let's make a night of it, yeah?”

Aaron pushed down the instinctive flash of worry at the statement. “I'm not going to get drunk with you, Hamilton.”

“Aw, live a little. It's not like you drive.”

Aaron ignored the statement and made for the front door. The bounds of Hamilton's home were starting to feel stifling again. “No, sorry, I'll be taking my leave now.”

All he needed was for Hamilton to say “yes”, “okay,” even a resigned “ugh, fine” would suffice. It was always how Aaron managed an exit from someone's house, and had worked in every single case so far, including Hamilton's.

“Burr, just stay for a bit? I'm bored and lonely and I know you have nowhere else to be.” Except for, apparently, this time. Aaron sighed, putting his boots on anyways. There was nothing for it but to make like he was leaving regardless. Even the most oblivious, stubborn person would have to say something constituting a farewell.

“I'll be leaving, now.” Burr said, sliding his coat on.

“Nooo...” Hamilton whined, leaning against the wall with a fake pout. Aaron stared, Hamilton stared back. Aaron zipped his coat up, pointedly. Hamilton said nothing.

This was becoming awkward. Still, Aaron ignored the creeping feeling of entrapment. “Seriously, Hamilton. Goodbye.”

Hamilton leaned further against the wall, crossing his arms. “Call me Alex, first.”

Honestly. “Goodbye, Alex.” Aaron didn't have time for this.

“Wow,” Hamilton perked up, “You actually did it. Why do you want me to say bye so badly?” Aaron froze for a moment, a minute little pause, but Hamilton recognized it for the admission it was. He grinned. “Is propriety that important to you?”

Aaron swallowed. “Does it matter?” And then, because it was clear that Hamilton was on to him, even if he definitely wasn't privy to the particulars, Aaron cut to the chase. “Just do it already.” He had places to be.

“No,” Hamilton smirked. “If you can't go without my blessing then don't go at all.”

Aaron paled. Hamilton thought it was a funny joke, that he was pushing Aaron out of his rigid box of manners and formality. He didn't know what he was saying, or what it was doing. The borders of Hamilton's property almost hummed with power, cloying and encasing.

Everyone knew the (true) myth that vampires couldn't enter a human's dwelling without permission. What few people realized though, was that vampires needed permission to leave as well. And in the meantime, they couldn't do any harm to the human host.

As surely as if the walls were inlaid with silver, Aaron was trapped.

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there’s the premise, basically?? I PROMISE HE DOESN’T STAY TRAPPED OKAY, THIS IS THE GOOD-END-AU

#i swear its mostly the tool by which burr is revealed #and also the tool by which ham can actually spend time learning about burr as a vampire without him cutting all ties and running away #its less mean than little burr au i promise #bc ham is used to seeing burr as a fellow human he obviously knows from the start he cant just keep burr like a hamster #thats for the bad end au lmao #realistically its no more than a few days to a week bc if nothing else people will be looking for burr #it is a frustrating few days for burr tho ill give u that #and really only goes on so long bc ham finds the situation hilarious and doesnt realize how unfair it is for burr #vampburr au #fic