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renee-writer · 12 days

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The Heart Don't Lie Chapter 82

AO3

The documents inside are remarkably well preserved. They lay them out by year. Brian had kept meticulous records, listing everything from how many bushels of grain was harvested, to exactly how many eggs each chicken laid.

“You must recall, this was right after the failed Raising. The bloody English, no offense Claire,” she waves it off, “they were taking most of what the Scots produced.”

“Aye,” and Ian adds to what his wife said, “and a large family to see to, not to mention the tenants.”

Claire lifts up one of the pages. She reads aloud.

‘My dear wife was safely delivered of another bairn, a son, this morning. I feared for her confinement with the dastardly Sassanachs taken sae much of what Lallybroch produces. She is strong and another son is added to our brood.’

“I wonder how many sons they had.”

“Well Sassanach,” he winks at her in his own unique way, like an owl, “I may be able to answer that.” He reads the page he holds.

‘Wee Faith passed over night. Despite our best efforts, the poor lass wasn’t strong enough. I mourn her untimely death but thank God for the six strong sons and four strong daughters he has gifted us with.’

Jenny and Ian cross themselves.

“Ten, would have been eleven, that is a lot of mouths to feed. Maybe that is why they kicked Laura and Andrew out?”

“Or not,” Ian holds up another page, “I believe I have found the answer.”

He clears his throat and reads.

‘A queer thing happened today. Our kitchen maid, Laura, has taken off. She and her wee lad have left our home. I can’t account for why they would do such. My Lord Brian, was naught but kind to her, even after she came to our home, carrying a bairn with no husband. We have grown to love her wee lad, Andrew. I pray she and he find their way back.’

“My Lord Brian. So that was written by his wife.”

“Aye Jenny. The question is, why would she just up and leave a place where she and her son were welcomed and safe?”

“That is peculiar,” Jamie frowns, still searching through the various records, “I pray the answer is in here somewhere.”

“Well, her prayer was partly answered. Andrew has found his way back.”

Claire ‘s comment has them all smiling. They continue to search. Those papers already looked at are carefully set to the side.

It is Claire that finds the answer.

“Guys, listen,” once she has all their attention, she read,

‘Laoghaire, our cousin came by with her new husband, Simon. In the course of visiting with her, the mystery of what became of Laura and Andrew was put to rest.

She mentions that she is glad to see them gone. We ask why.

Her report,

“Why she was a witch. I saw her, with my own eyes, perform healing magic. She breathed into a dead child and brought it back to life. I confronted her and she wouldn’t say how she did it. Now, if her gift was from God, she would have said as much. I called her a witch and told her to get out of my cousin’s house. I didn’t wish to trouble you with the knowledge unless she didn’t.”

Well, I don’t know what to believe about that. Laoghaire has the tendency to exaggerate.

I least my mind is at ease about why she left.’

“Bloody intervening bosom,” Jenny shakes her head, “poor lass. I guess I can see why CPR would be considered witchy in that time. Still…”

“If she knew the fate of Laura, she wasn’t going to tell them,” Ian stands and walks around the room, “still she has to be the one who stirred the mob up.”

“Well know we know our kin didn’t kick her out. It doesn’t sound like they would have. They would have at least let her explain.”

“Yes Jamie, but with a child to see too, she wouldn’t have taken a chance. I wonder what the parents of the child she restored to life thought?”

“That is a good question. Probably lost in time but still…”

They pack the boxes back up.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #the heart don't lie #chapter 82 #jamie and claire #outlander fandom #cannon divergence #modern au

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inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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firestorm09890 · 1 month

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Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats

#stardew valley #penny sdv #I didn't mention the SECOND opportunity to lose 1500 friendship with her #because I think if you go out of your way to date her and then tell her that you don't like her that way then you deserve it #but yeah she's super volatile #i was upset for a little bit after reading that one post saying the ‘right’ answer in the 2 heart event is ableist #like nooooo not my favorite farming game :(#except that in the context of several other things in the game it becomes clear that winning someone over #does not always mean doing the right thing #looking directly at how the easiest way to befriend shane and pam is by enabling their alcoholism #which is framed as a harmful thing even if the characters themselves like it #you have to lie to befriend other characters too like with sam dropping his egg #and you can lose a little friendship based on preferences like sebastian asking about what books you like #though to be fair if i saw someone who could potentially be cool and i found out that what they like was stuff im not into id also #lose interest a little #anyway those are all examples spread around on different characters #penny's got it all at once #me post

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rockingtheorange · 5 months

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Cry time ಥ_ಥ

Henry and Alex slept together after the lake scene, both conscious of the fact that an unspoken "I love you" was in the air.

The difference is that Henry left the bed in the middle of the night looking at Alex for the last time, meanwhile Alex fell asleep looking at Henry and woke up alone.

#my heart breaks everytime #Somewhere someone mentioned about a supposed deleted scene in between #Alex was supposed to check on Henry and he would lie saying he got a headache #i don't know the source tho #they still got to sleep looking at each other and then that happened :c #What if Alex was the big spoon cause Henry couldn't stand looking at Alex #What if instead Henry looked at Alex all night cause it was the last night he could do it #I'm making it worse am I?#sorry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #firstprince #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez #tzp #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #rwrb

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robonoba-zorbo · 3 months

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fellas are we seeing the vision? (I'm very sorry)

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hrokkall · 7 months

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ULTRATOBER DAY 18 /// DRONE (& friend)

[PREVIOUS] 🏮 [NEXT]

#Ultrakill #Ultratober #Ultratober 2023 #Ultrakill Drone #Cancerous rodent #This image is dedicated to Reel (number 1 drone fan) and also the only 6ish people in the ultrabrainrot server who understand what the hell #this image means. These two are best friends in my heart #Anyway I actually have ideas in advance for the next 2 days so stay tuned for that :]#(And also something else non-utkl related if I can get it done in time... oops. If I don't post it tomorrow I didn't lie I just failed)#Hrokkall Sketch #ID in alt

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chirpsythismorning · 7 months

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Some of the evidence supporting Mike not being in love with El is brutal. No, but seriously.

In s3, when El's leg is injured, instead of Mike putting his arm around her waist, allowing him to take some of the weight off her injured leg, he puts his arm around her shoulder, basically having the exact opposite affect of taking the weight off of her, instead just adding more weight for her to have to carry.

Now, I’m not coming at Mike here, I’m actually coming at the writers, because this choice here has everything to do with them using this gesture to signal Mike’s lack of feelings for El, even at the expense of realism.

I say this bc any person with common sense, including Finn and everyone around him and Millie filming these shots, would've known it looked unnatural for Mike to be adding more weight onto El as opposed to taking some off of her.

This means that what Mike did here, Finn was directed to do, and therefore it was for a specific reason.

And we know they could have easily made the opposite choice, because they show us Max AND Lucas doing it.

See how putting an arm around El's waist looks so much more natural? Because homegirl is injured and clearly needs help taking weight off her leg to qualm some of the pain she's experiencing there, which is why Max and Lucas are shown here doing it the correct way.

And so, why can't Mike do the same? Why are the writers making a point to show Mike being incapable of simply taking some weight off of El, instead doing the exact opposite?

I don't think it's as deep as Mike not being able to do something intimate, and that's bc, again we see Max and Lucas doing it.

I honestly think what they're trying to convey with this choice here, is that Mike thinks he's helping El, when he is in fact doing the opposite despite his best efforts. The implications of that and how that sort of aligns with their romantic relationship and what it leads to at the end of s3, going into s4, is pretty spot on.

I do think Mike thinks he's doing the right thing by being with El instead of voicing any doubts at the end of s3, because he is under the assumption that she is in love with him. I do think he believes he is indebted to her and that this is the least he can do after everything they've been through together, which has mostly been riddled with romantic pressures and so continuing that instead of disputing it seems like the only option anyways. Not to mention, he does care for her deeply, so it's not hard to imagine that he's a teenage boy confusing deep care for love (he literally tells us this is his problem when he can only say care and not love to El's face... but that's a whole other conversation).

Still, when it's all said and done, Mike's not actually doing El any favors by being with her romantically, if that is not what he truly wants.

Because that's the sad truth about all of this, which is that you would never want someone to be with you just because you want them. If you knew that they truly couldn't have those feelings for you, you'd want to know, right? You don't deserve someone just because you have deep feelings for them. And I think there's so many layers to this idea, bc many people are capable of not giving Byler a chance bc they truly believe Mike could never return Will's feelings. Will also feels this way atp, so though it hurts, he rips the band aid off, because he would never want Mike to be with him just out of pity or something. No one would want that. And so it all really comes down to who Mike truly loves romantically and wants to be with. And the right thing to do, even if it hurts someone, is to be honest, because being with them just bc you think that will make them happy is never going to be enough if you aren't truly feeling it, or worse, feel it for someone else.

We see how Mike's inability to be honest with El at the end of s3, leads to a season of Mike feeling deeply insecure and undeserving of the love El has to offer him, and even though he does try, he always comes up short. Despite Mike putting up this front that they are the perfect couple, the details are telling us something is off. And it gives him away.

Another example that I think is very similar to this loaded gesture from Mike to El in s3, is the scene in s4 when they hug in the airport.

Common sense ppl, picture this: You're reuniting with your long distance girlfriend. Then suddenly, she runs up to you, with her arms wide open, and instead of opening your arms wide to embrace her properly, you take the bouquet of flowers you brought her as a gift, and shove them against your chest just as she approaches to hug you, effectively squishing the present you got for her (a pretty delicate present at that) for no reason other than to... what exactly?

Like?? El isn't even squishing the present Mike, she's trying to hug you, dude! Your gf is trying to hug you properly and you threw the gift you got for her in between you so you could throw in a careful! x3??

Again, this has less to do with Mike's thoughts and reasoning behind this gesture in a literal sense, and more to do with the simple fact that this is a narrative choice! Mike is not a real person! There are real people sitting down and writing this and actors are having to do multiple takes to act it out. What feels natural for a situation is going to be what is often chosen 9 times out of 10, because of realism and wanting the audience to see stuff happening that is believable. That 1 time though, when it's not being done the way it would usually be, is usually because there's a specific reason for it.!

So the question really is, not why is Mike doing this, but why are the writers having Mike do this, and what message are they trying to convey about Mike's feelings based on his behavior, in these moments where he's just not capable of committing to El genuinely, one way or another?

#byler #no but most of the gay subtext is just so like... you really didn't have to do all that?#gay subtext at the expense of realism? check #mike thinks he's helping el by not breaking her heart and just being with her despite feelings for will he can't deny #very reminiscent of mike's 'maybe you thought you were helping but you weren't. you hurt me! what you did sucks!'#i do think it would be epic too see that moment come full circle but with el saying it to mike this time #bc i'm sure el would much rather have her heartbroken finding out that mike is incapable of loving her romantically #than to find out he was with her bc he didn't want to hurt her even at the expense of his own happiness #like no one wants to have someone be with them out of pity or obligation #we want someone to love us truly and deeply and genuinely!#we see how much el struggles in s4 bc of all the hints she's getting from mike that he doesn't genuinely love her #bc that's the most important part of a romantic relationship #it being equal #and it didn't feel that way #sure she's gonna be pissed #but she's gonna be more pissed he wasn't just honest #friends don't lie obvs

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in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene · 5 months

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I think Slay the Princess is so popular partially because the *gets stabbed* "I'm in love" reaction is both intentional on the part of the developers and then they completely follow through on it.

#slay the princess #me @ the Razor: I love you so much and you're so hot and funny and– *gets stabbed again*#and then! the little Voices agree that they're kinda into it too! fantastic game! A+! kill me again beautiful woman!#they managed to make even the Princess's most terrifying grotesque forms the most beautiful fictional women I've ever seen #while never sacrificing the horror elements. if anything the horror and gore and monstrosity makes her even more attractive #like they get it. the inherent eroticism of being trapped in a time loop made with the sole purpose of getting one of us to kill the other #and then killing and hurting and dying and struggling together over and over and over until finally breaking free #she hurts us and we are but a receptacle for the pain. she hunts us like prey and swallows us whole. we beat each other to #death for the thrill of it and keep on going long past when we should've died. she torments us until our heart stops from terror.#we see her as a dominating goddess and she becomes one. she knows what our organs look like. her bloated corpse once drowned us.#we lie at the foot of the stairs to freedom with broken backs because we betrayed her so badly she could only betray us in turn #and don't even get me started on the amazing intimacy/violation of the Spectre/Wraith possession stuff #and we (both the player and the Long Quiet) love her for it and through it

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aprilblossomgirl · 10 months

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My School President: Super Special Episode (2023)

I don’t like Win at all yet I can feed him food. You guys are overthinking it.

#my school president #my school president super special episode #soundwin #winnysatang #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #*gifs #mspedit #myschoolpresidentedit #that was very protective of you sound but why the lie #(don't like win at all) yeah #this is too short :'(#but at least i get to see one of the (supposedly) so many attempts of sound making win's heart beats faster #not to be too greedy but i need a spinoff of the very start of their boyfriends era 🥺

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clownprince · 1 year

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Well. Batman: Beyond the White Knight #8 was definitely something

#don't get me wrong I still hate white knight and all its offshoots #but terry calling them out for bickering like an old married couple...#bats calling joker jack for the first time and the little heart above his head ;;#ON VALENTINE'S DAY NO LESS...#ouuuhhhhhhfieufhhfhg #batjokes #gay people real #also I won't lie I fucking love joker's look in this. it slays. still miss the crop top but it's good #also joker getting to be a hero. :-)#but like actually

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renee-writer · 2 months

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The Heart Don't Lie Chapter 55

AO3

It is supposed to be natural. It is what is best for them, what they need. She is determined to do right by them, from the first.

“Come on, Emily. See what your brother is doing. Do what he is.”

Thomas latched on with no difficulty. Emily wants to, she just can’t seem too.

Jamie wants to help, he just doesn’t know how to. Anna had never, ‘That is why there are bottles so I am not the only one feeding her.’ She said when Rose arrived. The same with Willa. To see Claire committed to breastfeeding, with twins, it shows once more, the difference in the two.

“Let’s try a different position,” The lactation consultant advises, “sometimes that helps.”

Emily is placed to her mama’s side, instead of across her body. Her nipple is maneuvered into her open mouth. Finally.

“She has it!” Claire is jubilant. Her daughter is nursing. Both her children are taking nourishment from her breasts.

“Brilliant.”

Jamie agrees.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #the heart don't lie #chapter 55 #jamie and claire #outlander fandom #cannon divergence #modern au

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didderd · 1 year

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suggestive... felly skelly.... sketch request 👀

do with that whatever you will sbsnakbsnsn

Warning: suggestive fell under read more. 👀

(Click/tap image for better quality)

o////o) .....

(I could'v gone.. further with this, but.. next time maybe... 👀)

#not a sketch but... fkn.. got carried away hhhh #kvjskbj fuk #the fkn line “i'll be gental. dont worry” makes my heart fkn skip a beat every time #specially when u know it's a fkn lie lmao #(tried so hard to give him just. any amount of ass under his baggy shorts. fkn.. don't think it worked lmao)#fell sans #underfell #undertale #undertale au #suggestive #art request #art requests open #didderd sins #didderd art #didderd asks #monomori3 #(edit: fkn why does tumblr move th read more when u edit a post. fixed it hhh)

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shima-draws · 5 months

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Slamming my head against the wall god fucking DAMMIT I'm so in love with Sanlu I am GOING to explode.

#One Piece #Sanlu #Sanji #Luffy #IDK WHAT IT IS!! IDK!!!!#Still love Zolu with all my heart but oh my GOD Sanlu. They are everything.#I might be reading too many fics bc it really feels like a fanon thing that Sanji's actually like #Really insecure and has low self-esteem #OR MAYBE THAT'S CANON IDK!!#But hnghhh Luffy being the one to be like. Hey I like you for you and not for your past #And I love everything about you and that's a FACT and not a lie and I want to keep you with me forever #AND I WILL NEVER REPLACE YOU WITH ANYBODY ELSE. YOU ARE MY COOK AND I DON'T EVER WANT ANOTHER #And Sanji craving affection and validation and praise SO bad that whenever Luffy gives it to him he wants to cry #BASHES MY HEAD INTO A TABLE AUUGHGHGHG SHUT UP!!!!!#MAYBE THAT'S FANON SANLU BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON'T CARE IT'S SO GOOD #SLURPS THAT SHIT UP #Sanji especially feeling that he's not worthy enough for Luffy and thinking it'd be impossible to have him #So when Luffy actually does reciprocate he's in SHOCK bc how. How could Luffy pick HIM of all people #Cut to Sanji feeling like the LUCKIEST motherfucker on the planet bc he gets to have Luffy. SCORE.#Luffy blowing away all of his insecurities and anxieties and worry just by being himself and being so #STUPIDLY in love with him is just #HOLLERS AND SMACKS THE TABLE REPEATEDLY #ALSO IT DOESN'T HELP THAT OPLA MADE IT SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TOO #Luffy complimented his cooking one (1) time #And Sanji was like okay yup packing my bags for the Merry as we speak #When he smiles and looks a little flustered at Luffy's attention.#Oh my fucking god. Strangling myself.#THEY ARE EVERYTHING!!!#Shima speaks

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 6 months

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I just had a whole actual married, mother of two adult woman be the first person older than about 21 to actually accept the fact that I don't want to get married and be willing to talk through what that means for me, instead of trying to convince me that I'll change my mind as I get older. I'm going to fucking cry

#I told her I'm lonely and why. and I told her that part of it is because I never want to get married #and so as the people I love move on to new seasons in their life I will always be left behind. because I don't ever want marriage #and she was just like ''okay. that just means you have to figure out what YOUR milestones are going to be #because that's going to look different than most of the people around you.''#I've never had an adult woman. especially not a church one. just accept it before #it's always been ''ok but everyone feels that way at your age [a blatant lie. most of the people I knew in high school #got married RIGHT out of high school] you'll feel differently in a few years''#or ''well don't shut yourself off from the possibilities!'' or ''oh but you'll meet The One''#so it's like. earthshattering for someone like this to just accept that I know my own heart in it and help me figure out what that means #for the future #like. I'm going to cry. I'm literally in tears.#Lu rambles #sorry for swearing. it's for emphasis. I'm very emotional rn

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inchidentally · 2 days

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Where is that picture from the lie detector test?? That needs to go side by side with them cracking up at the end of this video