#the eve songs were motivating me so i wanted to see what i could animate and what i couldnt

[angryborzois]

small perspective practice feat. baji trio

#i slowed down the frame rate a bit #angryborzoisart #the eve songs were motivating me so i wanted to see what i could animate and what i couldnt #kinda wanna make a short mv with these three #bro this one eve song matches these three perfectly #its called “we're still underground”

[snowbellewells]

Self Promo Sunday: “Kingdom Come”

This is another one of my early Captain Swan one shots, this one written during the hiatus between 3a and 3b.  The idea entered my head when I first heard "Demons" by Imagine Dragons, which is where the title and the lyrics included come from. There was also some added inspiration from episode 3x06 "Ariel" and episode 3x07 "Dark Hollow". I don't think there is anything in here that goes against show canon; it's mostly imagined thoughts and missing scenes that go along with what has happened, and some guesses at what we may see when "Once" returns again in March.

As always, I have no claim to the show, the characters, or the song used. They belong to their creators and I'm merely celebrating their genius!

Also available on both AO3 and ff.net

“Kingdom Come”

by: @snowbellewells​

He knew that he should have kept his distance. She was shining light in contrast to his dark shadow, and a villainous wretch was the last sort she needed to have dogging her steps. Yet from their first meeting – knife at his throat, fingers fisted in his hair, hard, dangerous eyes hiding tense, nervous fear – he hadn't been able to pull away. He had no choice but to follow her. Call it a compulsion, an addiction, but he was as drunk on her as he had ever been on his chosen rum, and he despaired from the moment she left him chained atop that bloody beanstalk to any time she had left his side since.

The words Cora had hissed at him in warning echoed back to him, "You chose her…and the consequences of that decision…" Whether it was good or bad for either of them didn't seem to matter to his black, barely-beating heart. It was true: he had chosen the Swan girl…

When the days are cold

and the cards all fold

and the saints we see

are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail

and the ones we hail

are the worst of all

and the blood's run stale

It had become even clearer to him after the Echo Caves. When he had bared his soul and the feelings he harbored for her to be met with only silence and Emma's panicked uncertainty, fearless pirate he might be, but Killian Jones knew he should take a step back. The incredible, unparalleled kiss they had shared in the Neverland jungle told him the Savior was as attracted as he, but she was not ready for him. Her sole focus was on her boy – as it should be – but beyond that, she was running scared from anyone else who might try to breach her emotional defenses.

He knew it had been too much, too soon, to unload the truth about feeling that he could love again upon meeting her, and if he had been free to proceed as himself – as Killian Jones wooing a lady properly – he would have never been so clumsily blunt, but instead he was a pirate captain desperate to prove his loyalty and worth, while stuck on Peter Pan's nightmare island. They had needed to get Neal back without further delay and return to seeking Henry, and so he'd had to make clear that he was correct in the way the infernal cave worked. It had not been easy to look into her beautiful, tormented eyes when he had offered his confession, hoping he hadn't driven a wedge which would push her even farther away. It had been even worse to see her run across the bridge formed for her of their painful admissions, right up to Baelfire without giving him a word of comfort, encouragement, or thanks. He felt his shoulders slump in defeat, hurting more than he had imagined, when the cage holding the Crocodile's son vanished at words from Emma which he could not hear, and she fell into the embrace of her first love.

Killian felt her slipping away – if she had ever been within his grasp at all. Bowing his head, he hid the pain in his eyes from Snow White and Prince Charming's curious, searching gazes. Burning fire within him seared away the tentative hope he had foolishly let kindle within. He was nothing but a pirate, as the Prince had reminded him not so long ago. Though he couldn't help wanting to hold her, it was probably for the best…

I wanna hide the truth

I wanna shelter you

But with the beast inside

there's nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed,

we still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come,

This is my kingdom come

There was no longer any doubt. He was a fool – a sodding, pathetic fool. For him to let a glimmer of belief take root in his chest again was begging for misery, but Killian Jones had felt it growing all the same.

Venturing into the Dark Hollow had been a risky, desperate move at best, but after his face-off with Baelfire and discovering that Emma had not even deemed what had been brewing between them worth mention, self-preservation had not been so high atop his list. He had barely cared what happened to him in their suicide quest to capture Pan's shadow.

Of course, the fiend trying to rip his shadow from his body had jolted things into focus with frightening clarity; especially when he realized that Baelfire was facing the exact same fate, but it was his moniker of 'Hook!' that Emma cried out in horror. That she found the power to magically light their star map shadowcatcher just after her concern for him surfaced was not lost on Killian. No matter how much he cautioned himself not to dwell on it, he couldn't ignore the implications. Emma might not want to admit it, might not be free to show it, but when push came to shove, she cared more for him than she wished to admit.

He had not lied to her when he had promised no deviousness or trickery. If Emma Swan – the Enchanted Forest's lost princess – ever gave him the chance to truly win her heart, he would use no dishonorable means. He understood good form and had once dreamed of being a hero. He might be an orphan and a pirate, not some prince or man of noble blood, and his thirst for revenge had kept him lost in villainy for countless years, but he still had honor, could strive to show it valiantly once again. He knew deep down that she wanted him; what he did not know was if Swan would ever allow herself to acknowledge her desires. He could only vow that he would endeavor to deserve her if she came to him with such a golden opportunity.

Swan needed some joy and lightheartedness in her life. Though she looked fragile, she was hard as steel; she'd had to be for far too long. To him, her beauty was unrivalled, but it was clear that Emma did not see that in herself. He wanted to worship her as she deserved, unfit as he might be to do so. Killian Jones wanted to restore her lad to her, heal the wounds of her past, love her unconditionally, and never leave her side. He trembled to risk pulling her that close; his history proving over and over that anyone he dared to love had suffered a horrible fate. It was better his own heart be crushed than for her to suffer harm by nearness to him. Still, if he fought back the darkness he had sunk into, shouldn't he be allowed to step into the light?

When you feel my heat,

look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

Don't get too close

It's dark inside

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

She came to him at the helm of his ship once Henry was truly safe and resting peacefully with Regina watching over him. There had been a scare when Pan had tried to take Henry from them once again, but it appeared Rumplestiltskin's strength had indeed been greater than the ageless boy's, and their antagonist was now trapped safely in Pandora's Box. Sighing as she came to a stop just beyond arm's reach from him and leaned against the Jolly's hull, Emma didn't know if weariness or relief was winning within her at present. She was not sure that seeking out Hook when her emotions were such a mess was a good idea, but it was a need all the same. She was drawn to him like a magnet – impelled to speak to him, to thank him for helping them to get this far…to make sure that he was alright.

Emma knew he had been left hanging, knew he wanted more. What she didn't know was what she had to give. It had nothing to do with still doubting his motives or that he was a pirate; Hook had long since proven himself in her eyes. She simply wasn't sure her heart could let any man in the way he would want and deserve. She found it didn't matter though: she still ached to be near the Captain. He calmed her, despite the turmoil she had been in ever since this voyage started, and his constant support at her back, whatever the situation or whatever her decisions, had given her strength. She wanted to tell him so; if nothing else, he ought to know what it meant to have had him in her corner and that she would not soon forget it.

"Hook…" she began, then shook her head to cut herself off, knowing that wasn't right. Her corrected word came out breathy and more ragged than she had intended, "….Killian…"

He turned to face her when she spoke his name, though he had already known she was there. Just then, she could see everything he was feeling in those ocean blue eyes. Though their decadent depths often smirked, prodded, threatened, or demanded as the situation called for, at that moment they were raw, reflecting mirrors letting her see right into his exposed inner soul.

All the words she had intended to give him flew from her head, and Emma was left standing frozen, swallowing hard and wondering why she wanted to talk at all. With that in mind, she moved to stand before him, just within his reach, when one corner of his mouth tilted up in a tempting smirk as he beckoned her closer. Obviously pleased with himself, he took things a step farther, resting both hand and hook at either side of her waist, his thumb rubbing soothing circles that she could feel the warmth of through the waistband of her jeans, as if he were stilling a skittish animal so it didn't flee. "Was there something you wished to discuss with me, Love?"

"I…" her mouth went dry staring into his eyes and she struggled to focus on anything other than the desire for a second kiss from him, but she finally pieced together coherent words. "I just wanted to thank you…for everything. We couldn't have even followed Henry without your ship and your help. David would be dead by now. And I, well, I just…"

"Come, Lass, it's just me. There's no need to be so formal. I offered you my ship and my services, and I meant it." As he said these words, he was slowly, deliberately, pinning her in his gaze so she understood just how much it did mean to him. He placed the cool, smooth curve of his hook under her chin, tilting her face up to meet his.

"But – it's just – it's so much more than that," she floundered, and if she weren't so grateful and attracted and muddled all at once she would have been irritated that he could sound so composed and romantic while she struggled to get a sentence out. Emotional tears almost welled over her eyelids, but she blinked them back and stepped closer yet, almost begging him to hold her, causing their noses to nearly brush. Looking up at him, she hoped that just maybe her eyes could convey her affection, gratitude, and want without the words that seemed lost to her. Biting her lower lip in nervous anticipation, Emma raised her eyes, blinking, to his cerulean gaze and prayed he would simply read her scrambled mind.

Chuckling low in his throat, Killian seemed to do just that, and wrapped his muscled arms around to reel her in. "All you had to do was ask, Love," he teased, lightly ghosting his lips over her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, forestalling the inevitable and making her heart thud erratically even as she grew impatient for his lips to reach hers. Just as she had grabbed him and driven their first kiss – fast, desperate, bruising – he was taking over this second one, creating a slow, languorous, building simmer that Emma wasn't sure she would survive.

Killian's hand came up to cradle her head, hook resting along her neck on the other side, the one bit of cool relief to the fire in which he had engulfed her. His calloused fingers stroked along her jaw as if hoping to coax her nearer still. This kiss carried their feelings in it; there was still heat and passion, but below it thrummed something more, something deeper: it required a decision. Emma's breath caught at the realization that this kiss was something which might last.

Killian was thinking, hoping, the same thing, hardly daring to believe, but unable to stop it either. Greedy thief and pirate that he was, he wanted more of Emma; it would never be enough. Fool he might be, but he did not aim to stop until he had stolen her very heart. Not so long ago, he had been rudderless, with nothing in this world to keep him but his vengeance. Now, he prayed that he could change his course. At last, he had something to fight for, someone to hold dear. Killian Jones – Captain Hook – had despaired of being anything else but hell bound…until she crossed his path. Perhaps he might still find redemption in Emma. Heaven had to know his every effort and act for good has been due to her. It's all for her.

Don't wanna let you down

but I am hell bound

Though this is all for you,

don't wanna hide the truth…

This is my kingdom come

This is my kingdom come

The door slams in his face – her door – and Killian lets himself slump against the wall, dejected. It all happened so quickly and now Emma is gone. She is beyond his grasp, as he had always known she was. He has waited so long to see her lovely face again, traveled so far, and though he tried to prepare himself for the very reaction he received, it didn't hurt any less when she gave him the blank look which told him his Swan no longer knew him.

Upon their forced return to the Enchanted Forest, he had tried to steer clear of everyone. Angry, wounded, and bitter, he had wanted nothing more than to hide himself below deck on the Roger and drink until he couldn't think of how being ripped from her just when she had given him a chance had hurt. He had not wanted to be near anyone and had made horrible, snarling company when someone forced the issue, but that had not stopped Snow and Charming. Emma's parents were a painful reminder of her, but no matter how he strove to avoid them and steer clear, they would not leave him alone.

It was exasperating how they kept trying to draw him into rebuilding the castle and their kingdom, tried to cheer him up, provided work for he and his crew as supplies were needed from other ports, and generally would not allow him to wallow in his misery as he had desired. They kept repeating that they had faith this separation would not last forever. For some unfathomable reason, he seemed to have found his way into their affection, and they would not let him despair either.

When Regina had finally put together a memory restorative potion, he had been willing to concede that these royal types and their unending hope were not so completely off base. The former evil queen had been almost pleasant and much more willing to help ever since meeting Robin Hood – apparently the man she had been destined to meet long ago. Some of the dangerous emptiness and hurt left her eyes when she was around the archer, and especially near his young son. Killian knew that she hoped Emma would find a way back and bring Henry if she could be made to remember. Regina also knew the rules of the second curse well though; she was to give up the thing she loved most. She couldn't be the one to go after them, couldn't force her hand. She would have to trust those whom she had spent so long fighting against.

Killian had been stunned however when David and Snow both championed his undertaking the quest. Something knowing flickered between the Prince and Princess' eyes, but he didn't waste time trying to figure it out. He was too grateful, touched, and ridiculously anxious to get going, whatever the mode of travel, to ask questions.

Now, faced with the harsh truth, he almost forgets the potion tucked into a pocket of his vest. He had to try True Love's Kiss, had to see for himself if it were possible. He shouldn't have even entertained the dream, and yet he couldn't help himself. He truly thought she loved him…but maybe she still does and has simply forgotten. He has come too far to turn back now without seeing his mission through. Any realm he tries to make his life in now will be empty without her regardless. He will wait for his moment, and he will try again…

They say it's what you make

I say it's up to Fate

It's woven in my soul

I need to let you go

Your eyes they shine so bright

I wanna save that light

I can't escape this now,

Unless you show me how…

Killian stands outside the large, several story building where Emma and Henry now reside, oblivious to the crush of people rushing around him on all sides, looking up to the window he knows is theirs, comforted by the fact that, though she may not remember him right now, they are once again in the same place and time. He can get to her, and he will succeed in bringing her back to her family…and to him.

That she wants him to keep his distance right now means little. He is sorry that she is at last safe with her son and free of the heavy weight of her destiny and he seeks to interrupt that. However, he thinks he knows Emma well enough to believe she would not wish for an illusion over truth; even if it pained her, she would rather face reality. He knows that much of his Swan.

Villain that he has been, that the world has always seen, the selfless action would be to let her go, but he cannot allow himself to admit defeat. Emma has never truly been loved – treasured – as she ought to have been, as he had planned to do. He fervently wishes to be the one to show her what it is to be wholly adored. He wants her to know that she is his whole world, and he needs the chance to see if she can love him in return, keep him striving to live again. The demons that still haunt him, that say her kingdom and his black soul are already lost, try to whisper that he will fail. Their voices hiss that he will never bring her back, that her knowledge and memories are lost forever. Killian pushes those insidious echoes from his mind. Soon, he will meet her haunting, storm-tossed eyes again, and he will make her see.

This is my kingdom come…

Tagging a few others who may enjoy: @searchingwardrobes @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @laschatzi @whimsicallyenchantedrose  @thislassishooked @resident-of-storybrooke @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @revanmeetra87 @scientificapricot @tomeandflickcorner @lfh1226-linda @xsajx @stahlop @donteattheappleshook @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @darkcolinodonorgasm @elizabeethan @wefoundloveunderthelight @jonesfandomfanatic @spartanguard @tiganasummertree​ @optomisticgirl​

#self promo sunday #cs ff #cs one shot #season 3a missing moments #ouat 3b spec fic #kingdom come

[ainosk8]

EP 8 ADAM WATCH

i cannot believe i am being emotionally ravaged by an anime about skater boys........but here we are! let’s relive the trauma so we’re ready to be ruined again on saturday 

I wanna start with the show’s religious symbolism. I had originally taken the whole Adam/Eve thing to be just part of Adam’s schtick, but with this episode it feels like something the show is trying to lean into thematically. 

So in flashback we see Adam skating dangerously with someone (unnamed). He expresses wanting to escape the real world and go to a world just for the two of them, a Garden of Eden with himself as Adam and this skater as his would-be Eve. Unfortunately, in pursuit of Adam this skater falls and is injured.

This shot even kind of looks like Adam standing alone in a garden. 

From this scene we gather that when Adam says “Eve”, he’s talking about someone who can match his abilities in skating and I guess propel the two of them into a higher plane of existence? Maybe just inhabiting that feeling of skating with someone at his level is what “Eden” means to him. Skating is his escape from the trauma of his actual life and Eden from the bible is a perfect place, without pain. Interestingly, some of the lyrics from the theme song “Paradise” relate to this idea:

“Let’s risk our lives”, “Before we get killed by the world” and “The destination is Zion” in particular stand out to me. Even though we haven’t seen Adam injured yet, he is risking his own life just as much as his partner’s when he pulls the stunts he does. It’s worth the danger if it gets him closer to “Zion”, AKA (i had to google it) “the heavenly city or kingdom of heaven”. Maybe he sincerely has a death wish, but doesn’t want to go alone. Dark!

A big question I had watching this was, if Tadashi is this amazing skater whose skills rival Adam’s, why is he not his Eve? Well, bc in this metaphor, he has been labelled the Snake, or the deceptive serpent that facilitated Adam and Eve’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden. If Adam blames Tadashi for having skating taken away from him when he was a teenager (since he didn’t intervene in front of Adam’s father), I can see why Adam would view him that way. But Adam didn’t choose this name, Tadashi did.

Tadashi’s goal in entering the tournament is to defeat Adam and force him to quit skating, which would mean giving up on the “Eden” he’s pursued since his teen years. I’m not certain of his motivation here. 

Is it retaliation for asking Tadashi to take the fall for his political career? If that’s what he’s upset about, why not force Adam to take responsibility for his part in the collusion and plead guilty to perjury? Even after this interaction, Adam seems sure that Tadashi will take the heat for him.

It’s clear Tadashi knows that taking skating away from Adam is the thing that will hurt him the most. He wants to hurt him. But he also cares about him, or at least the person he used to be. He gently touches the intertwined hearts at the bottom of the pool he and Adam use to practice skating. It’s probably the same place he first taught Adam to skate.

I love the light behind Tadashi in this flashback. It really makes him look like an angel appearing to baby Adam to give him some reprieve from his hellish existence.

And now he’s going to rip it away from him.

His face here SCREAMS betrayal. Even if Tadashi does accept the perjury charge in Adam’s place, just telling Adam he plans to take skating away from him, the one Good Thing he’s ever had in his life, that Tadashi gave him in the first place...it’s the cruelest thing he could do. Losing his political career would cause trouble for him, but losing skating would leave him with nothing.

It’s possible that Tadashi isn’t being petty, and that he thinks hurting him this way is for Adam’s own good. Which is a pretty upsetting parallel to his aunts’ abuse.

Tying it back to religion, I wonder if there is something about this trio of aunties that is symbolic. The holy trinity comes to mind, as does the Mother, Maiden, Crone Triple Goddess of pagan worship. I’m not enough of a biblical scholar to say for sure, but maybe something about God punishing the beings he created... God let his son die for humanity’s sins...The Flood from Genesis (the police lady does mention the shady diet member’s collusion is related to a dam, and if that wasn’t up to code there could be a flood)..?? idk

If the big honking angel painting is any indication, religion clearly has a place in the Shindo household. Someone who knows more about the bible please weigh in cuz I wanna know 

SPEAKING OF BIBLE

Fun fact: The name of Joe’s Italian restaurant “Sia la luce” google translates to “Let there be light”. Shoutout to the friend I was watching this with for pausing on this frame, or I wouldn’t have noticed it.

This is a reference to God’s creation of Heaven and Earth, but perhaps also symbolic of Joe’s desire to bring Adam back “into the light” and away from his destructive behavior. Cherry seems more spiteful towards Adam than Joe does, but they both seem to want to reach out and snap Adam out of his current mindset rather than just looking to punish/get revenge. There are hurt feelings, sure, but also concern.

“And God saw the light, and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.” As someone who cares for Adam (or the person he once was), Joe wants to show him right from wrong, show him the error of his ways.

Cherry says this in episode five:

Even though Cherry and Joe were against Adam’s actions, they never wanted to stop being friends with him. When Adam left for America right after high school, they lost their chance to get through to him. They still want mend that relationship, or at least reconcile how it ended seven years later, or else they wouldn’t bother to keep approaching him. 

Based on the title for the next ep “We Were Special Back Then” I’m betting we’ll see even more of their perspective this weekend. 

I hope Cherry and Joe will be able to help him 🥺 It’s hard for me to imagine a happy ending for my guy at this point, but......I continue to hope 

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 adam #shindo ainosuke #ainosuke shindo #much like adam i refuse to focus on work and wrote an anime essay instead #adam watch

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

#100 things about me #questions #100 questions

[eclats-de-diamants]

Asami Jun “Research 100″ translation part.1/2 ❄

This translation is from her first photobook that was published in 2019. This is an interview segment where she answers 100 questions about herself, what she likes etc... (a bit like the “This or That” interviews in older photobooks)

This post contains the 50 first questions and I’ll soon post the other part with the last 50.

You can buy a copy of her photobook here 😊

Lil’ disclaimer before putting the translation, I’m in no way a native speaker, nor bilingual so there /may/ be errors but my dms are open so if you see something that’s mistranslated dm me and I’ll change it. Also I couldn’t translate questions  29, 34 and 36 sorryyyyy 

 (+ English is NOT my first language so yeah sorry in advance for the grammar mistakes).

Also I tried to add links to some of the things aasa mentions (like music, movie etc…)

The questions are labelled as “Q...” and the answers are quoted and labelled as “A”, if you see /this/ it’s just my notes

enjoy :)

Profile

Name: Asami Jun

Troupe: Snow Troupe

Birthday: 11/6

Blood Type: O

Nickname: Aasa, J

Height: 169cm

Eyesight: It’s bad. I wear contacts.

Shoe size: 24cm

Ring size: For my smaller fingers I wear size 9 and for my bigger fingers I wear size 12 (Japanese size)

Charm point: People often say it’s scary, but the ability to convey emotions through my eyes (laughs)

Strength: I’m always relaxed/natural.

Weakness: I don’t plan things

Catchphrase: Motivation, energy, and patience

Birthplace: Kamakura, Kanagawa Prefecture

  Your favorites…

Q1: What’s your favorite season?

A: Summer

Q2: What’s your favorite event of the year?

A: New Year’s Eve. I like to watch end of year tv programs with my family

Q3: Which countries do you want to visit?

A: Spain and Italy

Q4: What’s your favorite animal?

A: Dolphin

Q5: What’s your favorite music?

A: My fav of all time is “Kibou no Wadachi” from Southern All Stars

Q6: What’s your favorite movie?

A: The Notebook (romanized name: Kimi ni yomu monogatari), I cry everytime I watch it

Q7: What’s your favorite stage genre?

A: “Straight play” I also like small theater stages

Q8: What’s your favorite tv program genre?

A: Travel programs. I love “Another Sky” and programs where they introduce resorts hotels

Q9: What’s your favorite color?

A: Purple and shades of blue

Q10: What’s your favorite (kind of) books?

A: Books that explain history in an easy way. I’ll use them as references for my stage performances

Q11: What’s your favorite scent?

A: Sage wood, wooden scents

Q12: What’s your favorite food?

A: Gyoza

Q13: What’s your least favorite food?

A: Crab innards /ngl this looks disgusting/

Q14: What’s your cooking specialty?

A: I can do really delicious gyozas /not sure about this translation/

This or that

Q15: Meat or Fish?

A: Meat!

Q16: Japanese food or Western-style food or Chinese food?

A: Chinese food. I like any type of Chinese food

Q17: Japanese sweets or Western-style sweets?

A: Japanese sweets. I love Neri-kiri 

/a colourful japanese pâtisserie made of white bean paste and white rice paste/

Q18: Coffee or Black Tea?

A: Coffee. Black coffee

Q19: Salt or Soy Sauce or Sauce?

A: Salt

Private me

 Q20: Are you more of a morning person or a night person?

A: I'm both

Q21: The first thing you do after waking up?

A: I make coffee

Q22: When you take a bath, do you use hot water or lukewarm water?

A: Hot water. But during summer, I take half body baths

/from what I understand she only dips her body till her hips/

Q23: When it’s time to sleep, do you sleep with a light on or in pitch darkness?

A: In pitch darkness. When I’m in the dark I fall asleep in 2 seconds (laughs)

Q24: Until now, what’s the longest time you have slept for?

A: Approximatively 12 hours

Q25: What do you do to change your mood?

A: I drive to places with abundant nature

Q26: How much time do you spend on your phone ?

A: A lot of time

Q27: When you want to contact someone do you prefer to write a mail /I assume it’s the same as texting/ or calling?

A: Mail

Q28: Usually are you more of a talking person or a listening person?

A: I think I’m more of a listening person…

Q30: Are you more sensitive to heat or to cold?

A: I’m more sensitive to heat but I like summer (laughs)

Q31: Do you prefer to be in a group or by yourself?

A: By myself. I’d rather go shopping by myself

Q32: Which qualifications do you have?

A: I have a driver license, an English certification (grade 2) and a diving license.

Q33: What kind of shoes do you prefer?

A: Shoes that are easy to walk in. Also thick heels

Q35: A habit that you can’t stop yourself from doing?

A: Clap my hands when I laugh

Q37: The thing you’re afraid of?

A: Natural disasters

Q38: The thing you treasure?

A: A photo file with a message made by everyone when we starred in a performance together

/Not clear of who she is talking in particular/

  During your day off

Q39: Are you more of an indoor or an outdoor person?

A: If I go out in the morning I’m not able to go home until night (laughs)

Q40: What’s your karaoke specialty? /as in in which song are you the most confident singing when you go to a karaoke/

A: Nakamori Akina’s “Shoujo A”. I like “Shoujo A”

Q41: Where do you often go shopping?

A: In Umeda, it’s big 

/She says “Umeda is big”/

Q42: When you go shopping do you hesitate on what to buy or do you choose quickly?

A: I choose quickly! I think that if you hesitate it means that you don’t really need it

Q43: When you’re on holidays what’s the first thing you want to do ?

A: I want to pass all day driving to temples and sanctuaries

Q44: During holidays are you more carefree or do you plan everything?

A: I’m the type who has a schedule tightly planned.

During your childhood

 Q45: Your nickname when you were a child ?

A: Mossan

Q46: Your favorite subject at school ?

A: History. Because that was where the content related to Takarazuka’s shows came from (laughs)

Q47: The school subject you hated the most?

A: Science in general

Q48: The game you often played?

A: Dodge ball and Kickball

Q49: Which clubs were you in? What did you learn?

A: In elementary school I was in the track and field club

In middle and high school I was in the dance club

I was also learning classic ballet. During elementary school if I was in the track and field club I could play dodge ball /i guess that’s why she entered/ (laugh)

Q50: What did you want to do as an occupation ?

A: Except for being a takarasienne I wanted to be a dolphin trainer (laugh)

#takarazuka #asami jun #aasa #yukigumi #takarazuka translations #diamants translations

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''broken'' by seether (ft. amy lee)

[apparitionism]

Hark

A merry early Gift Exchange to @kla1991​, whose not-so-secret Santa I am this year. This is the first part of a story set somewhat in-universe: there’s no season 5 (what could that even be?), and only the first ep of season 4—basically, time wound back to right before the Warehouse exploded in Stand, which aired on Oct. 3, so the Christmas during which this story is set is happening less than three months after that momentous occurrence. I’m postulating that Helena became an agent again, and there was no Artie/Father Data business. (Oh, and Steve didn’t die, so no metronome. I refuse to force Helena through witnessing anyone being brought back non-nefariously from the dead.) I’ll do my best to post the concluding part(s) by New Year’s Day—no promises on that, but I’ll finish as soon as apparitionally possible. Anyway, happy holidays to everyone. Continuing to participate with you all in this wondrous exercise in fandom is a blessing in every tradition, and I’m profoundly grateful.

Hark

“Your upstart nation stole ‘God Save the Queen’!” Helena seethed at Myka.

For whom “upstart nation” was really too much. “Nobody owns that melody!” she fumed, reciprocally, at Helena. “You can’t steal something nobody owns, our version is perfectly valid, and anyway I’m pretty sure other countries stole it too. Look it up!”

“I’m not in other countries. You look it up.”

“I’m driving! Since when are you such a fan of the monarchy anyway?”

“Stop questioning my patriotism!”

“I couldn’t care less about your patriotism!”

“You brought up citizenship!”

“Because you don’t have any!” Myka had genuinely thought they would be having an intellectual conversation, one about documentation and—

“I did at birth!” Helena raged, and then she scowl-sang, “God save our gra-cious Queen.”

This gave Myka pause. She reflected that she had actually never heard Helena sing before. She then concluded that she never wanted to hear Helena sing again... because Helena could not sing.

However: “My country ’tis of thee,” Myka sang back, frustrated. It was the only reason she herself would ever have sung, because—

“You can’t sing,” Helena informed her, in the tone of a doctor trying to conceal joy at having to report that the patient would not recover.

“Neither can you,” Myka informed back, aiming for straightforward “snide.”

“And I never want to hear you sing again,” Helena continued.

All Myka could come up with in response to that was an inadequate “Ditto.”

Helena sniffed. “You just wanted the last word.”

Myka pointedly let Helena have that last word. To make her stew in it. In the ensuing silence, she continued to drive. On this last leg home from a retrieval, late on Christmas Eve—their very first Christmas Eve—the air between them was frostier than the South Dakota winter outside the car could ever dream of matching.

She was under no illusion that Helena cared at all about anybody saving the Queen, and she herself, while reasonably patriotic on the American side of things, hadn’t sung her way through that song since her childhood. She knew this dispute was ridiculous, and she suspected Helena knew it too. She suspected also that they both understood they were developing a pattern: A period of calm—a deepening of accord—that would sooner or later, particularly in the adrenalin-ebb aftermath of a dangerous retrieval, dissipate into some minimally motivated squabble, the respective sides of which they entrenched themselves into with such commitment that it seemed there could never be an unentrenching.

*

An early instance: Myka had threatened to storm out of their shared hotel room because Helena had mulishly refused to concede that it had been foolish to open a bottle of mini-bar water for which they would be charged five dollars.

“Go right ahead,” Helena had “suggested,” so Myka did.

In the lobby, she’d run into Pete, who wasn’t storming anywhere, just looking for free snacks. “See?” Myka demanded of him. “Like a normal person.”

“If you were normal, you wouldn’t be out here with me. ’Cause you’ve got a hot girl in a hotel room, and I know things got a little uh-oh chasing that guy today, but you’re both still in one piece.”

“Maybe not for long.”

“You volunteered for this.”

“No I didn’t. Artie said ‘Pete, Myka, Helena, get on a plane for Montgomery, Alabama,’ and so we—”

“You know that isn’t the ‘this’ I meant.”

Myka did. But she hadn’t volunteered for that “this” either. Nothing about her response to Helena was voluntary. Nothing about it had ever been voluntary.

“Fights and all,” Pete added. “After the thing”—he always called the barely averted explosion of the Warehouse “the thing,” and so did Claudia—“you could’ve let her leave. You could’ve made her leave. She would have done anything you said.”

“Not anything,” Myka said, to be contrary.

“Maybe you don’t remember how she’d hardly even sit in a chair without your say-so. Oh, but wait, I think I know somebody who remembers everything, some tall lady with a lot of hair, name rhymes with Opelika... hey, that’s you!”

“Shut up. It wasn’t... that simple.”

“It is now.”

She crossed her arms at him.

He sighed. “Lemme show you: ‘Sorry, baby,’” he said in his “Myka” voice, which was terrible. “Me too, darling,” he then said in his “Helena” voice, which was even worse. As himself, he finished, “It’s like you’ve never been in a relationship.”

In a conversation in which Pete had said several annoyingly true things, that one was the most annoyingly true. But: “It’s like,” she conceded, and he slapped the side of her head, very gently.

“Hot girl hotel room,” he said.

When Myka went back to that hotel room, the hot girl said, “I’m sorry,” as if she’d received the same instructions from Pete. “I was precipitately thirsty.”

“I’m sorry too,” Myka told her. “I was precipitately miserly.”

Myka kissed the hot girl, the hot girl kissed back, and they fumbled their way to fine.

Until the next trivial-yet-entrenched tiff... because apparently, peace was for normal people.

*

Normal people. When Myka and Helena finally made it back to the B&B, Leena, Claudia, and Steve were doing reasonably convincing “normal” impressions: drinking hot chocolate, eating cookies, and playing board games. They seemed to be playing all the board games; Leena was replacing the lid on Monopoly, which she set aside, reaching for the next box in a towering stack. “Chef’s-kiss timing,” Claudia told them. “I just bankrupted these two pathetic poser slumlords, and we’re about to start Sorry. It’s funner with four, so siddown, and you two can be a team.”

“Or not,” Myka said, glancing at Helena, who glanced back and gave a definitely not yet inhale-exhale. “Why isn’t Pete playing?”

“We’re supposed to tell you it’s because he’s doing some last-minute Christmas shopping,” Steve said.

Myka was about to ask, “This late at night?” but Claudia supplied, “Except it’s really that he goofed off today and didn’t finish inventory and thought he’d get away with it but then Artie called and yelled at him.”

“And you left him alone to keep working on it? It’s the night before Christmas, and—”

Claudia waved her hands. “And all through the Warehouse, not a creature was stirring, I swear.”

“Besides,” Leena added, “he’s a grown man.”

“Who always ruins Christmas!” said Myka.

“Always almost ruins Christmas,” Claudia corrected.

Myka demanded, “Is there anything about me that says ‘I like a close call’?”

All eyes turned to Helena, then back to Myka.

*

Of course Helena had been part of the closest of calls, and Myka hadn’t liked it at all: nothing but the outcome. The Warehouse, the saving of it, yes, the thing—but the real outcome had been the aftermath at the B&B.

That outcome was real, but it was also a dream, one that Myka had dreamed more often than she would ever have confessed to pondering in her heart, this dream of being alone with a present Helena, no disastrous endpoint looming. The dream-logic of it: I can touch her? And Myka put a hand to Helena’s elbow. Reached and did that. Helena looked at the hand, the elbow. She looked in Myka’s eyes then and said, “Don’t spare my feelings.”

Feelings? Are you really you in your skin, Myka wanted to ask. Is this your elbow. Instead, because she needed to know, she murmured, “What do you want.”

Helena didn’t say words, but she made a noise that evolution had found fit to preserve from a deep, animal past, a guttural push of sound through the throat-column: it told Myka everything. Told Myka: “Everything.”

No speaking then but by bodies, a language of desperation and culmination. Helena had a mouth that could be met by Myka’s own, clothes that could be removed to reveal a palpable body, with every response of that body real under Myka’s hands. Myka held her eyes closed for much of that night, lest sight confuse her about presence and its proof, lest she fail to attend to what her eyes could never offer: The fleshy heaviness of a tongue in response to her own. The soft give of a thigh interior under her insistent thumb. The steady pressure of a body that pushed back. No empty air, no absence; only presence.

No question marks intruded on their immediate intimacy, their immeasurable, embodied relief. Two days prior, Helena had been a sacrificeable hologram, but all at once she was Myka’s living, breathing, at-last lover. All destined... like meeting at gunpoint.

That night precipitated a fast fall into full couplehood, with seemingly little conscious choice on either of their parts. As inevitable as the gunpoint meetings, the wrenching betrayals, even the miraculous redemption.

But nothing good can possibly be so simple, Myka told herself. Or so inevitable.

“Is that what you believe?” Myka imagined Helena asking this, Socratically. She’d had so many internal conversations with Helena that she found the habit—probably a bad one—difficult to break.

“I’m tired of belief,” Myka told her beautiful, imaginary Socrates. “Sometimes I want to go back to my regular non-Warehouse life, where belief didn’t matter.”

Helena said, still in Myka’s head, still Socratic, “Or did you merely act as if it didn’t matter? Artifacts were born. Religions carried on as they do. Your ignoring belief had no effect on any of it.”

“My not ignoring it has no effect on any of it.”

“So you yourself, regardless of attitude adopted, cannot affect belief.” Socrates paused. Smiled. “Or that which is inevitable.”

Myka did, in such moments, briefly wonder why she needed the real Helena around, if the one in her head was such a reasonable facsimile. A hologram could have done that job just as well.

But the answers, the “here’s why,” came fast and thick, and Myka rejoiced that they could. The real Helena could make Myka laugh an easy laugh, because circumstances were not as they had been with that hologram, when laughter was an impossibility. The real Helena could touch Myka’s neck—not wonderingly, as Myka had known that elbow—but instead quick and hot, in that way that said “we have been intimate recently and will soon again be.” The real Helena could fall asleep and in relaxation display a face so devastating in its symmetry that Myka was inclined to regret not being Michelangelo, so as to recreate it in appropriately tributary marble.

Strange, though, or probably just ridiculous, to feel that your romantic relationship had made more sense when one of you was a hologram.

Myka should have expected Christmas, also a fraught inevitability, to loom as an existential test—yet another existential test—of that relationship.

She should have expected also that when this new existential test was administered, Pete would be the one helping to shove answer sheets and no. 2 pencils into their hands.

*

“Might be a close call or two in Sorry. Sorry!” Claudia cackled. “Anyway, go put your stuff away so we can get our Sorry on. Also our merry. We might even sing.”

“Or not,” Myka said again, and this time she got an eyeroll in response rather than meaningful breathing. An improvement? Hard to tell.

“Nobody’s required to sing anyth—” Leena began, but then she sat up very straight and cocked her head. “Do you hear that sound? Or I guess I mean, do you feel that sound? It’s not singing.”

Helena moved her head too, and not in a way Myka recognized. “I do feel that sound. In fact I believe I know that sound.”

“I do too,” Leena said.

Steve squinted. “Feels like... a weird earthquake? Is it happening all over Univille?”

Claudia said, “This is the kind of thing they blame on us even when it isn’t us. It’s why they look at us weird at the supermarket.”

“I can’t feel anything,” Myka said. “What is it?” She looked first to Helena, who was shaking her head—not at Myka, not with anger, but as if she might be able to find the right shake to rid her ears of the sound, or the feeling, or whatever it was.

“Agitated artifacts,” Leena said, performing a very similar shake. “They... rumble.”

“Agitated artifacts,” Myka repeated. “Pete’s alone at the Warehouse, it’s Christmas, and artifacts are agitated. Okay.”

Naturally, Pete chose that moment to march in, proclaiming, “I hope everybody’s ready to apologize to me.”

Steve asked, “Why should we apologize?” Now he was shaking his head too.

“Because everybody always says I ruin Christmas.”

Helena said, “As I understand the situation, the salient fact is not that they say you ruin Christmas. The salient fact is that you do ruin Christmas.”

“Almost,” Claudia corrected again. She canted her head, righted it. Canted it again.

“But this time I saved it.”

“By agitating artifacts?” Myka said, but of course he would think that. Probably encouraged them to have a party...

“More so by the minute, from the sound of things,” Leena told him.

“What? No! That isn’t what I did!”

“The artifacts are telling a different story,” Helena noted.

Claudia offered, “It’s more that they’re humming it real low. Like some geologic event that worked its way into a Björk track. Or vice versa.”

Myka—very calmly, she believed, under the circumstances—said, “What. Did. You. Touch.”

“Nothing, Mom,” he said, and his tone caused Myka to spare some sympathy for Jane Lattimer. He then said, as if it were some magnanimous confession, “Okay. Fine. I did, but I gloved up.”

“What did you touch after you gloved up?” Leena asked. “And why?”

“It was like it tapped me on the shoulder...” he began.

Still canting her head, Claudia muttered, “Sallah flashback, Sallah flashback...”

“And said ‘hey big guy’...”

Steve said, “This is already a longer story than I feel like it should be.”

“And told me it had to go the Christmas aisle...”

Myka had had enough. “If you don’t spit it out right now, I personally will Heimlich it out of you. Joyfully. WHAT had to go to the Christmas aisle?”

He turned to her and gave a palms-up shrug. “You know I don’t know anything about classical music.”

She reached to the table for the nearest board game, to throw it at him, but Helena preempted that move by saying, “Judging from Myka’s face, now is not the time for non sequiturs.”

She probably couldn’t have done much damage with a travel-size Aggravation anyway, but travel and aggravation made her think, in Helena’s direction, Oh, now you can read my face. An hour ago in the car, not so much. Then she sighed internally. Or maybe, an hour ago in the car, too well.

Pete was continuing, “But the Messiah had strong feelings.”

“Oh no,” Leena said, and Myka knew that Leena saying “oh no” in that particular way meant she knew something, and the something she knew wasn’t good, but Pete kept on, still enthusiastically proud of himself: “So I gloved up, took it where it wanted to be, and then came home. Because it isn’t Christmas till I’ve won the Trivial Pursuit Star Wars Classic Trilogy Collectors’ Edition!”

“Do I seriously have to remind you I’m the reigning champ?” Claudia demanded. “What you’re saying is, it’s never gonna be Christmas.”

“Not for a while yet,” Leena said, “because we’re going back to the Warehouse. Because I’m pretty sure I know what’s happening.”

“Why do I have to go if I can’t hear whatever it is?” Pete whined.

Myka told him, “I can’t hear it either, and it’s your fault.”

“Your ears are your own problem.”

“I might Heimlich you just for the fun of it.”

Steve said, with concern, “I’ve heard that ribs tend to break.”

Myka nodded. “Exactly.”

“Santa would not approve of that attitude, young lady,” Pete chided.

“All I do is lug around stockings full of coal,” she said. “Do your worst, Santa.”

She made the mistake of glancing at Helena, whose face betrayed a responsive ripple of disquiet. Exactly the wrong sentiment for ending a fight, even a foolish one, Myka realized: imply that nothing you carry with you is what you want. “I didn’t mean...” she began, but Claudia was demanding of Leena, “How do you know what’s happening? And what is happening?”

“He put the Messiah sheet music in the Christmas aisle,” Leena said, with what Myka considered enviable patience.

“You say that like it means something!”

“It does mean something,” Leena said. “You’ll see. More importantly, you’ll hear.”

*

At the Warehouse, when they reached the floor, they were greeted by... “Curtains?” Steve tried, because that was what they were. Tall, cream-colored damask curtains with a green floral pattern. Freestanding, blocking their path. Insistently blocking their path.

“For all of us!” Pete tried back. “Dun-dun-DUN!”

“No...” Leena said. She regarded the curtains. “I know who you are,” she said, and Myka found herself unsurprised to see the curtains rustle at that, as if in appreciation. Leena then said, “And now I know exactly what’s happening.”

“A play is beginning?” Helena suggested.

“Not quite, but you’re in the neighborhood. Surely somebody other than me knows who these curtains are really for.”

Pete leaned close to the curtains, then jumped back like they’d bit him. “Oh my god. Now that I look close—the von Trapp kids!”

“Good boy,” Leena said.

“I thought we were calling him a grown man,” groused Myka.

“Leena is providing positive reinforcement,” Helena said. Pedantic, as if Myka had never heard of such a thing.

“I know she’s providing—” But she shut herself up, sighed in frustration instead.

Leena made sure everyone was wearing gloves, then said, “Claudia, keep your goo gun in your pocket; we might find more of them taking their frustrations for a walk.”

“So do we just put things back where they belong?” Steve asked. “And they calm down and the rumble-chatter stops?”

“Any that got themselves where they aren’t supposed to be, we take them back. But here’s what else we have to do.” She paused. “Sing.”

“No,” Myka said, and “no,” she repeated. She chanced a glance at Helena, but she had closed her eyes and seemed to be pre-massaging a headache out of her temples.

Leena appeared not to have heard Myka, for she went on, “We’ll deal with the curtains first. Next, the Messiah goes back where it’s supposed to be—because that’s what started it all. After that, I think Claudia should tell us what we need to do.”

“Oh god,” Claudia said, sounding just about as dread-filled as Myka felt. “This is Caretaker practice, isn’t it?”

“What if it is?” Leena asked.

“Ugh. Thanks, Pete.”

He said, “Maybe it tapped my shoulder because it thought you needed Caretaker practice.”

Myka snorted. “Maybe it tapped your shoulder because it could tell you’re an easy mark.”

“Hey!” he protested.

“Particularly at Christmas.”

“Hey!”

Leena said, “I think the Messiah might have sensed you’d be an easy mark... mostly because you want to make everybody happy. Particularly at Christmas.”

“See? Leena understands,” he taunted Myka.

Myka once again considered the Heimlich.

They escorted the curtains back to the musicals section, passing by Ginger Rogers’s dancing shoes, and Myka was unnervingly tempted to put them on and bleed her way backwards and in high heels out of the entire situation as Leena explained, “People repurpose ‘My Favorite Things’ as a Christmas song. The curtains find that... troubling.”

Pete scratched his head. “I guess I don’t really get that. Isn’t it kinda great?”

“Wait,” Claudia said, “and this might not even be practice: I think I do get it. How they feel. So let’s say you’re you.”

“I’m me,” he said. “Gotcha. Awesome. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Exactly. But what if some holiday thingy came along and made like it was changing you into something else? They’re afraid we’ll put ’em in the Christmas aisle, and they don’t want to be there. Unlike the Messiah, I guess. Am I wrong, Leena?”

“You’re not wrong,” Leena told her, smiling.

“I feel that too,” Steve agreed. “They’re... afraid? Afraid it’ll diminish them. They’ll be about Christmas and that’s all. That’s why they’re so agitated.”

And so the curtains were serenaded with words about raindrops, kittens, kettles, mittens, and all the rest.

“Are they happier now?” Pete asked. “Do they not feel so bad?”

Leena, Claudia, Steve, and Helena all nodded, if not entirely vigorously. Helena said, “Marginally happier. Not knowing the song, I of course couldn’t participate. I hope they aren’t offended.”

But she hadn’t seemed apologetic at all while the singing took place. In fact she’d smirked. So Myka murmured, “Thrilled, more likely.”

Helena pretended to ignore her but also bared her teeth, minimally, in Myka’s direction, as she said, “Popular culture, alas, remains a largely undiscovered country.”

“It’s just one song,” Claudia said. “You’re getting your head around more stuff all the time! Take the Muppets.”

“Last week’s Christmas special,” Helena said, and Claudia nodded. Myka knew they’d been going one per week, because that was as much as Helena could take, whereas Claudia would have set up a holly-jolly IV drip if she could. Helena continued, “The one you called a ‘crash course’ in several shows’ worth of puppets?”

Claudia nodded again, even more enthusiastically. “Muppet Family Christmas! And now you’re up to speed, so for example when I say ‘Oscar,’ you say...”

“I still fail to understand how the large bird, which seems more accurately a costume than a puppet, qualifies.”

“The answer we were looking for was ‘the Grouch,’ so maybe we’re not quite as far along as I thought. I’m not going to bother with when I say ‘Fraggle,’ you say.”

“Consumer of the structures built by the devoted little workers who wear hats.”

“Aaaand that’s why not. Although your essay answer isn’t wrong.”

“Thank you,” Helena said, performing her funny little bow that struck Myka anew, each time she saw it, as a Victorian tell.

*

In fact, Myka had come home from the Warehouse just as that “crash course” was ending: Helena, as always after such a lesson, looked bemused but relieved, while Claudia was fidgeting with post-lecture satisfaction and, most likely, disappointment that she’d have to wait an entire week till the next one. Myka had asked, “Why does Helena need to know about the Muppets?”

Claudia responded with a puzzled, “Why doesn’t she?”

“Bert, Ernie, and the distinctions therebetween,” Helena said to Myka. “Would that I were you and could retain it all.” She smiled a small “but here we are” smile, and Myka leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed that smile. Because she wanted to; because she could. The smile then widened, and Myka tried not to make the mistake of wondering why every moment wasn’t like this one.

“You two can be pretty soft when you want to be,” Claudia remarked.

Myka had thought, No, we’re not this way when we want to be. It was when they weren’t actively wanting it—or needing it—that this ease stole upon them. But here it was... so Myka kissed Helena again, then asked, “What’s for dinner?”

The asking of that question, in the softness of that moment, had seemed an ideal step forward, one not about destiny or fraught inevitability, but balance and consistency. And then Myka did make the mistake: Why couldn’t every moment be like that? What was it that disturbed all the other moments?

*

Now, as they all headed for the Christmas aisle, Pete pulled on Myka’s arm and held her back a bit from the rest. “You mouthed the words,” he accused, very quietly.

“So what if I did? You know I can’t sing.”

“Maybe it makes a difference. H.G. said the drapes were only marginally better.”

“She didn’t sing either, by the way,” Myka pointed out.

Apparently her feelings about that were clear, for Pete said, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“I meant you and H.G. Incidentally, you walk a little bit like Big Bird.”

“We’re fine. Incidentally, if you got a chicken bone stuck in your throat I wouldn’t be at all upset about what could happen while I was saving your stupid life.”

“I sort of feel like if she choked on a chicken bone, right now, you wouldn’t want to let anybody else do the rib-breaking.”

Myka almost said a dark “you bet I wouldn’t,” but then she realized: “I think that’s always going to be true.”

Pete nodded. “Kiss her, kill her. I get it.”

Unless he was talking about vibes, he didn’t get it, not fully—Myka herself didn’t get it fully, and in everybody’s defense there was a lot to be got—but it was Christmas-sweet that he got as much as he did. She said a mollified, “Look, just don’t make me sing, okay?” Because if there was anything Myka was sure she and Helena definitely did not need right now, it was a replay of “you can’t sing” and “neither can you.”

“No promises, partner. When Leena says ‘jump’ I say ‘my knees are shot.’ You, on the other hand, when she says ‘sing’? Better say ‘how high.’”

“This is kind of a ‘my knees are shot’ situation,” Myka observed.

“What’s the matter with your knees?”

“Never mind.”

And then they reached the Christmas aisle. About which Myka felt, and felt she had a right to feel, a certain amount of post-traumatic stress.

“If you touch anything,” she told Pete, “I will turn your ribs into chicken bones.”

“That makes no sense.”

“And yet you understand me perfectly.”

He took a step away from her. “In a very mobbed-up way, yes I do.”

Helena, Claudia, Leena, and Steve had ringed themselves around a shelf, and Myka peeked over Helena’s shoulder. Only in the Warehouse, she figured, could a piece of music manage to project the idea that it was pleased with itself.

“It’s gloating at me,” Pete complained.

“It did make you do what it wanted,” Steve pointed out.

Claudia said, “It’s like it knew we’d show up right at this moment.”

“I’m pretty sure it did,” Leena said.

Myka, still at Helena’s shoulder, felt a tension in the body that was not quite touching hers. She felt a tension, too, in words that were not quite meant for her to hear as Helena murmured at the music, “What else do you know...”

TBC

#bering and wells #Warehouse 13 #fanfic #B&W Holiday Gift Exchange #kla1991 #Hark #second part coming sooner rather than later #(I hope so anyway)

[kyn19]

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!

#asks

[displacedprincess]

y tú nunca juraste que saldría ileso || eleteo

Elena has a secret, and it’s time to tell Mateo.

Alternatively: McKala continues her tradition of titling Elena threads with a lyric of a Spanish song that only 12% fits because she likes the lyric 

@wizardroyale

ELENA

She’d known for a week she was pregnant. She was approaching three months pregnant by now, and now that she’d cried her eyes out to Naomi, discussed her options with her, and determined before anything she had to tell Mateo, it was time to do just that. God, but it was the last thing she wanted to do.

Naomi had, thankfully, cleared the apartment of everyone but Elena ahead of Mateo getting home from work which gave Elena enough time curl up in bed and panic over what she was going to say to him. In the end Naomi’s effort was fruitless and Elena had nothing nice and neat scripted. 

Elena had managed to stress cook. Not that shrimp fettuccine alfredo was fancy but it was something.

When the door opened, she was in the kitchen, portioning out two plates of her shoddy early dinner. “Mateo! I boredom cooked super early, you’re just in time for first dinner.” She hoped her plastered on smile was bright enough to hide how fucking terrified she was, but she should know better by now.

There was no hiding anything from a sorcerer, was there?

MATEO

It was a little after 3 o’clock in the afternoon when Mateo walked through the door, calling out a greeting to Elena. He’d immediately smelled the garlic in the air and knew that Elena had been cooking before she even had the chance to tell him from the kitchen. 

Before that, however, he had sensed the now familiar tension as he walked up the stairs. It had been clawing at his insides like a restless animal pacing for awhile now—anytime he was around Elena, actually. Between that and the Anxiety and Fear constantly swirling around her like a storm cloud behind the False Smile she wore, he’d been worried for her. 

He’d asked a few times if she was ok and had always gotten the same casual rebuff, so he’d decided to sit back and wait for her to tell him whatever was troubling her—whenever she was ready to tell him.

He grinned, dropping his backpack on the sofa before marching into the kitchen and catching her around the waist as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Ooh, that smells amazing, mi amor! I forgot to pack a lunch so first dinner sounds really good right about now.”

ELENA

Elena was very good at fake smiles. At the one year anniversary of her parents’ assassinations, she’d had to give a speech to Avalor honoring them and she’d be damned if she didn’t smile even while her heart was cannibalizing itself, was tearing itself into pieces. Right now, even her eyes almost looked like they believed the smile she wore.

At the kiss to her cheek, Elena did genuinely giggle. No amount of anxiety could make her love him any less and at least that bit of happiness she didn’t have to fake.

“Great, because I’m starving,” she said, bringing the plates and two forks to the table. She wasn’t all that hungry - throwing up almost everything you eat kind of makes you not want to eat - but having a fork and a plate of pasta gave her something to nervously mess with. 

She’d been careful not to eat anything she wasn’t sure was safe around Mateo since she found out she was pregnant. Elena wanted to be the one to tell him, not her stupid morning (terrible misnomer, by the way) sickness. 

“How was work? Didn’t get bitten by any clients?”

MATEO

Mateo loved it when Elena genuinely laughed, even if it was just a small giggle. Laughter was a sign of happiness and happiness meant he was doing his job as her boyfriend well. Truly, he wanted little more out of life than to make her as happy as possible.

Following her to the table he held a chair out for her, pushing it in before taking the seat beside her. He didn’t care how much she teased him for being silly or sappy, chivalry wasn’t dead and he would hold doors and chairs for her until the end of time. 

“It was fine,” he commented, swirling a few pieces of pasta onto his fork and taking a bite, “And nah. The clients all love me. I apparently have a calming presence or whatever.” He laughed, taking another bite before adding, “Mmmm! The shrimp alfredo is so good! Did you do something different this time? Like—I dunno, did you add more garlic, maybe?”

ELENA

Elena normally would’ve teased him, or at least acknowledged how sappy he was with a soft chuckle, but was such a mess of nerves all she could do was smile. It wasn’t fair that she’d kept it from him until this long, but at the same time...Mateo wasn’t the one pregnant. It was her body and she deserved a few days to sit with it and wrap her head around it for herself before telling him.

She’s only intended three, maybe four days, but it had been a week and she did think it unfair to let it get to eight days.

Still, the words weren’t coming and she wanted to talk about anything but that. Luckily he gave her an out.

“More garlic? Is it particularly garlicky? I haven’t tasted it yet, let me see.” Elena twirled some pasta onto her fork and stabbed a shrimp, pretty certain she’d be okay eating it. She’d eaten some pasta dish at work the other day with crab and didn’t throw up her guts, so! Shrimp alfredo had to be safe, right?

...right?

Wrong. Elena hadn’t yet swallowed her food before her stomach rejected it, doing its best to keep the offending food out, but Elena was like her father. King Raul and Elena shared the horrible habit of nervous-nausea, and Elena’d become an expert at willing herself not to throw up. The fear of the shame of vomiting on national television was a great motivator to just keep it down.

She wasn’t able to stop herself from heaving with a closed mouth though, clapping a hand over her mouth to keep from opening it. Elena swallowed hard, forcing her food down, and willed it to stay down.

“Fuck.” Elena mumbled behind her hand.

MATEO

Mateo did not miss the closed mouth heaving. He’d noticed she’d been nauseated a lot over the past few months—going back to their date on New Years eve—and every time he’d said something about it, she claimed to just be feeling under the weather. As if it were a lingering flu or something—a going-on-three-months-now flu. 

So when she covered her mouth with a muttered curse, he went on instant high alert. He had managed, however, to learn to remain calm during these instances—and that was progress, right? 

Instinctively, he reached over to place a comforting hand on her back and rubbed it gently, though worry sparked in his eyes. “Hey, you look like you’re going to be sick. You ok? Do you need help getting to the bathroom? Or I can grab the Tums? Some ginger ale? Whatever you need, just say the word.”

ELENA

Elena shook her head at everything Mateo suggested, keeping her hand clapped over her mouth. God, she really couldn’t deny it anymore, could she? 

“It won’t help!” Elena snapped, the pent up anxiety and tension just exploding. “It won’t help. I’m not sick, it’s- it’s worse. How can we both have been so oblivious, especially me? How did I not notice-”

She buried her face in her hands to hide her watering eyes. “I’m-” no, she should turn to face him. “I’m pregnant, Mateo. I’m pregnant.”

MATEO

I’m pregnant.

How could two little words have such a huge effect on one person. Ice coated his insides as a storm of thoughts and emotions burst into Mateo’s mind at those words. Shock. Fear. Panic. Worry. More fear. More shock. More worry. All of these emotions and more swirled in his mind as he stared unseeingly ahead, shaking his head in denial. 

Pregnant? Elena? How? When? Was it even possible? How long? Oh. My. God. What had he done?!

He was having trouble taking a breath as he tried to process the implication of what she’d just told him, though coherent thought alluded him. Did that mean that he—he being, Mateo—was going to be a dad? To a baby? With Elena? Oh. My. God.

A moment later, he snapped out of it, noticing Elena crying and realized that this had been the source of the fear and anxiety he’d been sensing coming from her. Words failed him as he scooted his chair closer and reached to wrap his arms around her and gently pulled her against his chest. 

“I—I don’t know what to say—” he finally managed to croak quietly, “Except that I’m so so sorry, Elena.” His own eyes filled with tears, stinging as he tried to blink them away, only managing to send them trickling down his cheeks. 

ELENA

Elena laughed mirthlessly and wiped at her eyes. Why was he crying? He’s not the one pregnant, she thought bitterly. It wasn’t fair to be so angry over his reaction because the logical part of her knew it was justified, but the emotional part of her was only thinking about herself. That was what made him a better person than her.

“Why are you apologizing, I’m the dumb bitch that can’t remember birth control pills.” Elena muttered, covering her face with her hand. 

“What are we supposed to do, Mateo? I can’t be pregnant right now. I can’t. I can’t, I can’t, and I’ve talked over all my options with Naomi and I can’t - I can’t think because I can’t wrap my head around it, and I want it to be a false positive but the hospital did a blood test and I really, really am like three months pregnant. Almost.”

MATEO

Why was he apologizing? Because he knew he was the dumb ass who had caused this, that’s why! It was all his fault, and he knew it! 

“Three months?” he echoed back in a hollow tone. He cast his mind back three months and that—that was right about the time they’d decided to ignore the doctor’s orders and just have sex anyways. And there was only one time in that time he could remember having completely unprotected sex—that very first time when they’d both literally lost their minds. 

He just—he needed to hold her, to help ground him and keep the panic at bay. He knew that as long as they were together, they could handle anything. 

But he also needed to look her in the eye, to tell her what he needed to say. So he pulled away, just enough to meet her gaze, keeping hold of her shoulders. He worried his lip, trying to find the words to say that might help and not make things worse.

Brushing a strand of hair from her eyes, he watched her with his eyebrows furrowed together, worried. “I—honestly don’t know? Just that, whatever we do, we’ll do it together. If you’ll let me, that is.”

He reached down and took her hands in his, saying, “I swear, I’m with you, Elena. Every step of the way, ok?”

ELENA

Elena shook her head and let it hang low as stray tears fell on their hands. She didn’t know what it was she wanted him to be there for her through, though. Yeah, she and Naomi had laid all her options out there on the table when they talked. They were both ardently pro-choice and Elena had not completely eliminated that option yet actually.

Still, not all of Avalor was on the same page as her and Naomi. Avalor was much less religious than the rest of Latin America, but Elena would have caused a scandal if she didn’t show up in public with an ash cross on her forehead on Ash Wednesday. Just ending the inconvenient, poorly timed, unwanted pregnancy would be her decision if she actually felt like she had the freedom to make the best choices for herself.

Elena wasn’t just Elena though. She was the rightful queen and deposed princess of Avalor. Every action even in secret could come to the public light even years later. Imagine the public shame if anybody found out.

So, no. Elena didn’t have a choice. Like it or not - and she hated her situation - she was pregnant, and going to remain pregnant.

“Having an abortion would cause a scandal if the hyper-Catholics in Avalor ever caught wind of it.” Elena said plainly, letting go of Mateo’s hands and holding her head high, blinking away the rest of her tears. “So that’s out even if I wish I could give it a fair shake as an option. If I was anybody but who I am, I would probably go that route.”

That wasn’t to say she didn’t want...she did want, one day, to marry Mateo and have children with him. Right now, while they were in exile from their home, was not the time. But Elena was not a woman whose body belonged to herself. As the first in line to the throne of Avalor, Elena was always expected to reproduce someday, and it was fortunate that Elena always knew she one day wanted to. 

As the ruling branch of the royal family of Avalor, the heir to the throne had two jobs. To prepare to rule with a fair hand, and to bear heirs to the throne. 

“So I have to have the -” she swallowed, unable to bring herself to say the word ‘baby.’ Not yet. “- I have to stay pregnant.”

Soon, when she was done processing what was happening to her life and to her body, she would be able to acknowledge it fully. As of now, she was still numb, still full of regret, and still felt so betrayed by her own body.

“That’s what is going on, so.”

MATEO

Having an abortion–– 

Now, Mateo was not the type to have an opinion on, let alone speak up about controversial topics the way Elena and Naomi were. The very idea of getting involved in such things filled him with anxiety to the point where he was useless and unable to function. Honestly, for the most part, he felt that most of those issues were best left to each individual.

Live and let live, right?

But when the word “abortion” came out of Elena’s mouth, directed towards her pregnancy––their unborn child that was part him––a fresh wave of sorrow, overwhelmed him. He didn’t know what to say, because of course it was her body and he had no say over what she chose to do with it. 

But their baby––the thought of never having the chance to meet them was upsetting to the point of tears. 

It was all so confusing. 

He loved Elena and wanted what was best for her, and their unborn child was part of her. Though, to a lesser extent, it was part of him too. He wanted Elena to be free to do what she needed to do for her own well being and happiness. But he also had this strange sense of wanting to do what was best for the tiny person that was growing inside her.

Regardless, he knew he would support whatever decision she made, even if it broke his heart.

And then there was the fact that she was doing that cold, calculating political thing she did whenever she talked about her position as ruler of Avalor. It made him crazy when she did that, when she put her own needs aside because of “the way it would look” to the idiots who had done nothing to help her since all of the political unrest began so many years ago.

“Just stop. Please.” he said, his tears drying up as he scowled, shaking his head. “This isn’t about what THEY think. They aren’t doing a damn thing to help you while you’re stuck in exile, so I don’t think they get a say in this. This is about what’s best for you and, to a lesser extent, what’s best for us. We’re the ones who have to live with our choices, not them.”

He sighed deeply and reached out for her hands again, giving them a squeeze. “Please, Elena. You know how I feel about the political image stuff. I get that its part of the “rightful queen of Avalor” package, but I don’t believe you have to do anything. You always have a choice. However, should you choose to stay pregnant, then I will be here for you every step of the way.”  He met her gaze evenly, determination sparking in his eyes as he insisted, “I’m not going to run away from this, I swear, Elena. I’m with you, always.”

ELENA

“Because they’re suffering more than me, living under a dictatorship! I forgive them, I do, even though there’s nothing to forgive.” Elena argued. “And you don’t understand. You don’t understand because you’re a commoner. You’re a private citizen whose life was always your own.”

Since her first breath Elena belonged to Avalor first, her parents second, and then herself. Her parents never said as much but her life experiences made that abundantly clear. 

Elena let out a cold, bitter laugh. “Sure, I have a choice. Nobody is holding a gun to my head. But neither option is ideal, so is it really a free choice? What’s best for me is undoubtedly to not be pregnant. But I don’t think you agree with me there. You don’t have to see reagents to see the face you just made. God, I should have just handled it on my own the second I knew and avoided this conversation, but now I’ve told you and — and now I can’t even look you in the eye and say I don’t want this. If you keep telling me I have permission to think selfishly then I might make the choice that’s best for me and I’m not convinced you’ll forgive me.”

She wriggled her hands from his grasp. “I never had an actual choice. My body belongs to the Flores royal family line. So I’m pregnant. And abortion is out of the question, so here we are, Mateo. Both on the most wanted list of a dictator and about to complicate things further.”

MATEO

At her words, Mateo flinched away with an audible gasp as if he’d been slapped, his eyes going wide and his brows knitting together as he stared, speechless. 

Really, if she’d wanted to hurt him, she’d found the perfect angle of attack—using his social status compared to hers against him. He knew all too well how common he was, and how not evenly matched he was for her. 

But then she started putting words in his mouth and making assumptions about his motivations and his eyes narrowed. 

“I think I’m starting to understand,” he said cooly, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms as if to warm himself, “First, you think I’m too common and too stupid to understand your position—not that I’m surprised, I mean, I’ve always thought so, so why shouldn’t you? And now I’m apparently not important enough to have thoughts and feelings worth even hearing if you already regret telling me before taking half a second to listen!”

The volume of his voice increased as he spoke until he was nearly shouting. It was the strangest thing—he wasn’t one for yelling, and certainly not at Elena. But everything in his mind was still spinning and he did not know how to navigate this new territory. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, willing himself to calm down—and willing her to calm down while he was at it, hoping it would work. He didn’t want to be mad at her, he wanted to help—even if letting her lash out at him hurt. He had it coming, didn’t he? This situation was at least half his doing.

“Look,” he said, quietly now, choosing his words carefully, “I’m sorry. Forget I even said that. This isn’t about me. I said I would support you, no matter what you choose, and I mean it. Take that however you want.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking at the floor as he finished, “I just don’t want you to make a choice in either direction that you will regret, alright? And—I mean, like I said, its your body, your choice, right? But, if you want to know the truth, I will take a complicated life with you any day over a life filled with regret—because I’m not convinced you wouldn’t regret terminating this pregnancy later—wondering what might have been once its too late.”

ELENA

“Typical man.” Elena scoffed, not really meaning anything she was saying at this point. She was hurt and scared and when she was either of those things her instinct was attack, attack, attack with a poison tongue. 

“I wouldn’t regret it, because it would be the smart thing to do. I’m twenty-five years old Mateo, I think I understand my mind perfectly well. But.” She held up her hands and stood up from the table. “I told you I’m going to remain pregnant, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

She began to pace the floor, afraid she’d snap at him even worse if he touched her again, gave her comfort she didn’t deserve. 

“So I really don’t think we have to talk about it more.” They did. But Elena was trying to avoid it. 

MATEO

Typical man? His head snapped up at the barbed words. What the hell was that even supposed to mean? 

He watched her pace a moment, sympathetic. He couldn’t help but notice the way the venom coming from her mouth didn’t match with the reagents now swirling around her. She was scared and anxious and hurting and he knew that was a recipe for one angry wolverine of a princess. 

He made a split second decision, understanding that she was probably going to yell at him again, but also knew that she needed him—even if she was in 100% denial of any such thing.

Standing, he moved the few steps over to where she paced, folding her in his arms as soon as she turned around and held her tight. He didn’t have the words to fight and honestly didn’t think anything he could say would help. Actions would speak volumes where he couldn’t. 

He could feel her fear and tension pounding into him like a tidal wave, so hard it was almost painful and he struggled not to give into her frantic panic. He willed his magic to calm the fear, imagining it wrapping around her like a warm blanket or a hug. It wasn’t a skill he’d quite mastered yet, but he hoped it would help, if even a little. 

“It’s going to be ok, mi amor,” he murmured, so quietly it was almost a whisper, holding her close. “It’s going to be ok.”

ELENA

Elena made to throw Mateo’s arms off of her, but his presence that one second infuriated her just as quickly calmed her. Barely. She did not smile and she did not feel at ease but she didn’t feel like her heart was going to fly out of her chest. She didn’t want to lash out at Mateo anymore. 

She didn’t want to get away from him, and instead, wanted to be held. 

“You don’t know that.” Elena said quietly, almost a whisper. “But thanks for the sentiment.”

MATEO

Mateo sighed with relief when she neither pushed him away, nor did she yell at him. She relaxed ever so slightly in his arms, the raging storm of emotion receding a bit.

Perhaps the worst was over? He could only hope. 

“I do so know that,” he insisted, stroking her hair with on hand. “Because I know that as long as we have each other, we can handle anything that comes our way.”

Was that cheesy as hell? Yes. Yes it was. But he didnt’ think that made it any less true.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m shocked and terrified and have no idea how to do any of this,” he continued, his voice shaking with emotion, “But, I feel a lot better knowing we’re doing this together.”

ELENA 

Elena would’ve called him cheesy and smiled had she been capable of either of those things right now. While she couldn’t yet smile at or tease him, her white hot anger was still keeping its distance, and her anxiety was replaced with an uneasy calm. 

A numbness. 

“I really, really do appreciate that you’re trying to say things to make me feel better. And maybe you mean them, I know you mean them, but I’m just not able to believe them right now. Do you understand?” Elena said, apologizing with her facial expressions and tone but not with the actual words ‘I’m sorry I’m pregnant and not happy.’ 

“You have to understand that I am dealing with a lot right now. And so are you, I know that, but I’m the one—” she swallowed. “— I just want you to know that I appreciate you trying to make me feel better. I’m not going to feel better today but thank you for trying. Can we… can we give up on trying to make me feel better for today? I do feel better than I did an hour ago. But I think that’s the best we can do for today.”

She laced her fingers with his and did manage a thin smile. 

MATEO 

The truth was that Mateo hadn’t been aiming for sunshine and roses. Really, he wasn’t so foolish as to think that anything about their current situation was going to be easy and nothing but time would bring peace. 

If he was being honest, he was terrified and felt the old self loathing and guilt creeping in with whispers of “I told you so,” and “Look what you did, you’ve hurt her” and “They’d all be better off without you.” It took every ounce of courage and determination that he possessed to keep telling that voice to shut the hell up, and this was not about him. Elena needed him and he would be there for her. 

He could sense Elena’s panic and rage had receded, and that was enough for him. 

Returning her smile with a nod and a tiny smile of his own, “I understand,” he said quietly, “I won’t say another word about it until you want to talk.” He glanced around to the living room and their bedroom door beyond and then back at her, asking, “I think we could both use a quiet afternoon—how about a nap? Or maybe we could watch a movie on the couch? Or—” he cringed, shooting her an apologetic look before finishing, “If you don’t want to be around me right now, I—I understand. I can take the couch if you want to be alone in the bedroom.”

ELENA

“I wish I could sleep for weeks.” Elena lamented, burying her face in Mateo’s chest. 

Elena closed her eyes and just stood there pressed against him. She stayed safe in his warmth for a moment before sighing and figuring it was time to use words again.

“You can nap with me.” She said quietly. “I’d like that.”

MATEO 

A sigh of relief escaped him as she rested in his arms, perhaps not the same as always because this moment felt so big, like they were standing on the edge of a completely different unknown than any they’d faced before.

But she didn’t hate him for what he’d done to her and so long as that was true, he believed they would find their way.

He held her and petted her hair, more than willing to just be there in the moment as long as she needed him to be.

At her words, he simply smiled and nodded quietly, murmuring, “That sounds perfect,” before taking her hand and tugging her to the bedroom. He kicked his shoes off, pulling off his hoodie and jeans and slipped under the blankets, pulling the covers back to wait for Elena to join him. 

ELENA 

Elena couldn’t say anything. She was afraid if she did she would yell at him again and say things that she didn’t mean like “you wouldn’t understand, you’re a commoner.” The C-word wasn’t fair. It was too harsh.  

She curled up next to him and laid there in silence for so long that she thought he’d fallen asleep by the time she craned her neck up to look at him.

“Mateito. Are you asleep?” Elena whispered. A beat. “I shouldn’t have accused you of not understanding. I know how thoughtful you are and how much you think of me.”

MATEO 

Mateo was not, in fact, asleep. His arms had curved naturally around her when she snuggled up to him and he’d been lying there with his cheek resting against the top of her head. There were too many thoughts and worries and questions plaguing him and his chest far too tight to actually find sleep, but having Elena so close had brought a small amount of calm to the storm in his mind.

“Hmmm?” he murmured quietly, smiling a little at the familiar, childhood nickname. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I get it, you were upset. And maybe you’re right. I don’t understand the royal obligation thing as much as I should, seeing as I’m dating literal royalty.” He shrugged. 

“But I will always try to make sure you, Elena Flores, the woman I love, are taken care of first and foremost—even before our people. Because if I don’t look out for you, who will?” He said this matter-of-factly as he kissed her hair and tightened his arms around her.

ELENA

Elena craned her neck to press a kiss to his cheek and then buried her face in the crook of his neck. She did not feel like everything would be okay, no, but she felt a little bit better knowing that Mateo was in her corner no matter what. Not that she actually truly worried he wouldn’t be - this is Mateo she was talking about! - but the explicit verbal confirmation was a comfort.

“I forget, sometimes. That I’m a person, and not just an extension of the royal institution.” Elena admitted as she stayed pressed against his warmth. “Keep looking after Elena the Person, because Elena the Princess has enough people over her already.”

She exhaled through her nose and closed  her eyes. “Thanks for letting me have time to...sit with you and this information and let it really sink in. We can talk about it more tomorrow, but for today, just. Thank you. Thank you, Mateo. For being kinder than I deserve.”

MATEO 

Finally starting to feel a little drowsy, he held her a bit closer, resting his cheek against the top of her head and murmuring a simple, “You’re welcome.” A yawn slipped out as he added, “Te amo, Elenita, and I’m here for you. No matter what.” 

In spite of the whirlwind of emotion still going on in his mind, he closed his eyes and snuggled down under the blankets, feeling warm and sleepy with the woman he loved in his arms. Though he knew their lives would never be the same from that moment on, at the same time, it felt like nothing had changed. They still loved each other and they were in this life together.

He knew deep in his gut that even though nothing felt like it was ok in that moment, as long as they had each other, everything would somehow work out in the end. 

#eleteo #mateo #ta-daaaa

[me-mindfulexistence]

100 Ridiculous “Get To Know Me Questions”....And What My Husband Guessed I Said.

 Need something to do?  Share some “get to know me questions” with your friends and family”.   

I answered 100 “Get to know me questions” alone...and then later I asked my husband what he thought my answer would be. How many did we match? 

1.Who is your hero?  (me) No one in particular. Anyone who stands up for the underdog, (Fights for the weaker person, feels compassion and empathy for humans and animals....but actually does something about it besides running their mouth) Ron:  No one      CORRECT

2.If you could live anywhere,  where would it be? Somewhere very very warm, with very few people and all  of my children (Ron) Somewhere warm and sunny           CORRECT

3.What is your biggest fear?   Losing my husband or children. (Ron) something happening to my kids/family            CORRECT

4.What was your favorite family vacation? N. Carolina, time on the beach with my family. (Ron) N. Carolina           CORRECT

5.What would you change about yourself if you could?  Rid myself of self-doubt and anxiety. I’d be unstoppable! (Ron) To be more extroverted and outgoing.                        CORRECT

6.What really makes you angry? Oodles  of things. People acting like the boys we took into our family, aren’t “real” family, racial discrimination, animal abuse, bullying, gender stereotypes, and religion (Ron) “Oh jez! Incompetent people”                       WRONG

7.What motivates you to work hard?  My family and their success. (Ron) To Help others                           WRONG.

8.What is your favorite thing about your career?  Wanting my patients to feel better about themselves and giving them an improved quality of  life. (Ron) Helping people                     CORRECT

9.Coke or Pepsi? Coke (Ron) coke             CORRECT

10.What is your proudest  accomplishment? Besides my having family, getting my BJJ black belt. (Ron) being a mother         CORRECT

11.When did you meet for the first time? Was it a connection? Friends introduced us at his work, Moyer and Son. Nope, no connection!. (Ron) Moyer and son, I don’t think you spoke to me. no connection   CORRECT

12.Favorite TV cartoon growing up as a kid?  Scooby Doo. (Ron) I have no idea, I didn’t watch cartoons as a kid, Tom and Jerry?   WRONG

13.Who makes you laugh the most?     My husband. (Ron) me   CORRECT

14.What would you be willing to do for a million dollars? Almost anything as long as my husband was okay with it and it didn’t hurt anything else. (Ron) eat red meat      WRONG

15.What did you want to be when  you were small?  A teacher. (Ron) heavier                WRONG

16.Do you want to be buried, Cremated, have your body donated to science or do some kind of eco-friendly burial when you die?  The funeral market is a scam and it’s polluting the planet! Eco-friendly method on a green burial site. NO Coffin! (Ron) eco-friendly burial, or some shit like that.                  CORRECT

17.If you could choose to do  anything for a day, what would it be?  African Safari.  (Ron) nothing               WRONG

18.What is your favorite game or  sport to watch and play?  Brazilian  Jiu-jitsu. (Ron) BJJ                     CORRECT

19.What household chore do you like the least? Cleaning the bathroom.  (Ron) cleaning in general               WRONG

20.What would you sing at Karaoke night?  LOVE LOVE LOVE SINGING!  Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares To You (and about 100 more songs). (Ron) Beastie Boys, fight for you right to party      WRONG

21.What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? SiriusXM 100, 101. (Ron) The two Howard Stations         CORRECT

22.Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Mow the lawn (if it’s hot outside), otherwise vacuum. (Ron)   mow               CORRECT

23.Favorite color? Yellow.  (Ron) black          WRONG

24.If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? salad with lots of stuff in it. (Ron)   lobster         WRONG

25.How do you feel about adoption? Bring em’ on. Babies of any age! The more the merrier. (Ron) strongly           CORRECT

26. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?  Sher (pronounced “Share”). (Ron) Dukers              WRONG

27.  Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Hate surprises. I wanna know.  (Ron) no, don’t like being center of attention     CORRECT

28.  In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?  Ummm. Do nothing, so watch a movie I guess. (Ron) movie     CORRECT

29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii b/c it’s hot. (Ron) Hawaii b/c it’s warm and has beaches           CORRECT

30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?  Lottery b/c then I could still work at the “perfect job” as much or little as I wanted. (Ron) work at perfect job, b/c you’d be happy and help people   WRONG

  31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? My husband. (Ron) me         CORRECT 

   32. If money was no object, what would you do all day? Create my utopia, an animal rescue. (Ron) Some kind of crap with animals         CORRECT 

     33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 1995 (after college).  (Ron) 1978        WRONG

   34. How would your friends describe you?  I’m not sure. Stubborn, strong willed? Sensitive. (Ron) passionate          WRONG

   35. What are your hobbies? Momming. Jiu-jitsu. Animal stuff. (Ron)  teaching bjj and pets              CORRECT

   36. What is the best gift you have been given?  My family. (and my jukebox that breaks all the time). (Ron) children           CORRECT

   37. What is the worst gift you have received? Anything that has to do with cleaning. (Ron) dryer vent              CORRECT

   38. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My animals….esp my dog Mable! (Ron) exercise    WRONG

   39. List two pet peeves: My husband yelling about my animals, my kids not doing their chores. (Ron) me groping you, bad drivers      WRONG

   40. Where do you see yourself in five years? Wanting more kids (Ron) here                        WRONG

41. How many pairs of shoes do you own? idk10?,  the same shoes I had 5 years ago (although I’ll replace my sneakers once or twice a year). (Ron) 10     CORRECT 

   42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I could be invisible. (Ron) strength                WRONG

   43. What would you do if you won the lottery? Quit my  job and Open an animal sanctuary. (Ron) pay off all debt             WRONG

   44. Finish things as soon as possible or wait until the last minute? Wait until the last minute. (Ron) wait until the last minute            CORRECT 

   45. What unconscious mannerism do you display if you are upset or uncomfortable in a situation?  I become very quiet... (Ron) chew face   WRONG

   46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?  How I acted as a teenager. I could be pretty rotten. (Ron) not throwing poop out a window            WRONG

   47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix,  mommom, and God. (Ron) all your grandparents but especially your mommom Knipe           WRONG

   48. How do you feel about group vacations with other couples? That sounds awful. (Ron) not happening               CORRECT        

         49. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?  An entire day when I was young, partying all night. (Ron) 24hrs partying       CORRECT 

   50. How Do you handle anger?  I bottle it up for a while and get quiet. (Ron) not well, you get quiet             CORRECT

51. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? Interesting question! I’m already getting close to hitting the wall with looks….but I also can’t afford to lose any intelligence either. I’d have to trade looks for more intelligence.  (Ron) intelligence for looks             WRONG

   52. How often do you buy clothes? Almost never. (Ron)   not often     CORRECT 

   53. Have you ever had a secret admirer?  Probably (who hasn’t). It would be secret. (Ron) probably              CORRECT 

   54. What's your favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! (Ron) Christmas        CORRECT 

   55. What do you drink when you go out for social occasions?  Coke (not diet either). (Ron) water or coke                  CORRECT 

   56. What was the last thing you recorded on TV?  True blood. (Ron) SNL   WRONG

   57. Do you prefer the live version or studio version of an album? Studio. (Ron) Studio             CORRECT 

   58. What's your favorite type of foreign food? Mexican. (Ron) mexican      CORRECT 

   59. Are you a clean or messy person? Pretty Messy. (Ron) messy       CORRECT 

   60. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Uma Thurman. (Ron) Uma Thurman             CORRECT 

   61. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30mins (Ron) 1hr             WRONG

   62. What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Dishwasher. (Ron) microwave              WRONG

   63. What's your favorite fast food chain?  Taco Bell. (Ron) taco bell       CORRECT 

   64. What's your favorite family recipe or dish?  mommoms apple pie.  (Ron)  Mommoms apple pie           CORRECT 

   65. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? Love. (Ron) Love      CORRECT 

   66. What's your favorite family tradition?  Christmas Morning Breakfast at my moms. (Ron) Christmas Eve          CORRECT  

   67. What is your favorite childhood memory? Having baby bunnies with my dad. (Ron) I have no idea           WRONG

   68. What's your favorite movie? Natural Born Killers (Ron) Pulp fiction  WRONG

   69. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Devastating. I wanted to believe forever. I was forced to “not believe” at about 12. My aunt said on Christmas day “You know Santas not real, right?”.  Ugh. (Ron) 8, I think your friend Dorene probably told you.   WRONG

   70. Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty….just waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Ron) Half empty         CORRECT 

   71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Dating my husband was risky. (Ron) got married          WRONG

   72. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt and vinegar. (Ron) salt and vinegar             CORRECT 

   73. What was your favorite subject in school?  Science. (Ron) none   WRONG

   74. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?  I’m not very daring. Seaweed. (Ron) I have no idea, you really don’t care for food   WRONG

   75. Do you collect anything? Unwanted animals. (Ron) records     WRONG

   76. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?  Bell bottoms. (Ron) The 70s                  WRONG

   77. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.  (Ron) Introvert        CORRECT 

   78. Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? touch. (Ron) You have a nose like a dog                   WRONG

   79. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)  Nope…and I don’t want one. (Ron) No                  CORRECT  

   80. Best quality and worst quality?  Best-compassionate/empathetic,  Worst-Too compassionate/empathetic to a fault. (Ron) best-caring, worst-caring too much                    CORRECT 

   81. What do you do to keep fit? Brazilian Jiu-jitsu but I also just exercise to not be a big lump of (Ron) BJJ and exercise            CORRECT

   82. Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?  I say “wrong is wrong, damn it”. (Ron) Never a wrong time to do the right thing never a right time to do the wrong thing                   WRONG

   83. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?  ALL KINDS OF RULES about limiting the use of animals for consumption. NO FACTORY FARMS! (Ron) NO killing of animals      CORRECT

   84. Are you a leader or follower?  Leader (Ron) leader       CORRECT 

   85. What three things do you think of the most each day?  Work, family, how tired I am. (Ron) something happening to my kids, something happening to ron, or me                     WRONG

   86. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Proceed with caution. (Ron) warning fragile                     WRONG

   87. What song would you say best sums you up? Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. (Ron) someone left the cake out in the rain, AKA MacArthur Park by Donna Summer                 WRONG

   88. What is your favorite drink? Vanilla Chai Latte. (Ron) water    WRONG    89. Who was your first crush?  Bo Duke (on Dukes of Hazzard). (Ron) Shaun Cassidy           WRONG

  90. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your kitchen window? My chickens. (Ron) chickens              CORRECT 

   91. On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 6. (Ron) 8  WRONG

   92. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Working like a dog and getting no where. (Ron) here                WRONG

   93. What was your first job? Working at an awful pizza shop. (Ron) pizza shop                 CORRECT 

   94. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? The Doors.  (Ron) The dead              WRONG

   95. Do you believe in an after life?  Yes. (Ron) yes            CORRECT 

   96. You’ll never understand people who do what.....?  Fart in front of anyone intentionally. (Ron) hunt              WRONG

   97.  Who would i hate to see naked? Any parental figures. (Ron) parents     CORRECT 

   98. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? Probably a cat. I can be affectionate one minute but turn and walk away b/c you are boring me the next. I don’t like to be told what to do…and I’m not easy to control. “Obedient” isn’t my strong point. (Ron) cat, b/c you can be a loner and snobby (or some might perceive you to be that way).          CORRECT 

   99. What is something that turns you off about another person?  If they don’t like animals.  (Ron) people who are loud              WRONG

 100. Who knows you the best? My husband. (Ron) Me            CORRECT

The end

#bjj #graciepa #sherihockman #randompersonalfacts #femalebjj #rdbjjinstructor #BrazilianJiuJitsu #thirdgenerationbjj

[twistednuns]

February 2020

I managed to use my iPad as a second monitor for my computer. So tech savvy. Yay me!

Joking about developing a sex-based cardio programme with Manu. Powerfucking! Might help against aggression as well.

A late night phone call with Tom. Not saying much.

Making a huge pot of my grandmother’s signature veggie stew.

More Bon Appétit test kitchen videos. Chris recreating tacos. Claire making Ben&Jerry’s. Priya making her mum’s Indian curries.

Writing a letter to Lena. Drawing upside down bats (which makes them look like they’re having a wicked dance-off). Just the act of writing. I thoroughly enjoy looking at my handwriting.

Using the Salted Coconut handscrub by Lush. Especially now that I wash my hands so often when we’re working with clay at school. I feel like the peeling triggers some pressure points on my palms.

That Saturday productivity high. Cooking and preparing heaps of stuff, cleaning the windows, doing laundry.

Painting my nails like an expressionist artist.

Some portrait studies. Accidentally drawing Sirius Black.

Being really motivated to improve my Spanish. Working with Lorena, the Duolingo app and even starting my own grammar/vocabulary book.

This ultra quirky ASMR video. Also: watching videos with Erin an her boyfriend Chris. It’s amazing how well they work together. How you can almost feel their connection, how similar they are.

Carrot cake oats.

Seeing the The Darkness live again, this time with Margit. Justin’s outfit and personality, singing along, especially to Time of my Life, the band’s traditional first song after the show.

Meeting Chris. Having a Bramblette cocktail at Pusser’s. I like that place. Feels very old-timey with a rowing boat right under the ceiling. We made out in front of a tiger slide in a toy store window on our way to the next bar.

Peeling fresh carrots.

Pickling onions and making kimchi. My fermentation game is strong these days!

Looking through Dominik’s sketchbook. I loved the tree whose bark resembled a mole burrow with its underground tunnel system.

The flu. Yes, really. Fewer pupils at school. Quiet times. I’m actually surprisingly healthy. I’d guess my probiotics must play a role here… Who knows.

More sourdough experiments. Writing about it (DELICACY - a haiku. Oven-warm sourdough / salted butter, alpine cheese / and a strawberry).

Finding a really interesting list of SanFran hippie era book recommendations at the end of Robin Sloan’s Ajax Penumbra: 1969. In the mood to read Maya Angelou, Tom Wolfe, Jack Kerouac, Richard Brautigan.

Even more beautiful books: I really enjoyed Die weiße Stadt by Karolina Ramqvist, a feminist author from Sweden, and the graphic novel version of To Kill a Mockingbird. But two books that literally (well, figuratively obviously) blew my mind were Circe by Madeline Miller (mythology, loneliness, animals and plants, magic and monsters, some desperate kind of feminism, independence and strength) and Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (magical realms, university setting, psychological depth, unexpected twists and turns). I haven’t read anything comparable in a very long time and I desperately hope that there’s more to come from these authors.

A beach collecting all the world’s single socks in The Magicians. Oh and of course seeing them break the moon. What a sight. The show is super confusing, obnoxious and absolutely fabulous at the same time. Best example: the Freaky Friday szene in which Margo and Eliot switch bodies. I love how the actors took on each other’s speech patterns and behaviour.

A new addition to my colour vocabular: celadon (a greyish green; there is a type of ceramics you’ll only see in this colour which is not surprising since the shade provides such an interesting contrast to the the earthy, rusty orange of burnt clay.)

Manu telling me that he had rarely seen people with more joy in their eyes than me (“Ich habe schon Freude in deinen Augen gesehen! So ein Leuchten kann man nicht simulieren.”) after complaining about being bored and lifeless. / Making curry with or, well, for him the other night. Drinking Liqueur 43 with cinnamon and milk. Playing the Jackbox party games for which you can use your phone as a controller.

Finding myself in a well-known sitation from the past. Lying in Frank’s bed in the early morning hours, not that tired yet, when he starts talking about his life and his depression. In English, obviously, because that’s our emotional filter. Relating, since I feel quite similar. Coming up with a suggestion for a reciprocal support system. Let’s see what we can do for each other.

Looking at travel photographs. The sea, the cenotes. Longing to go back to Mexico or Australia. Diving. Taking it all in.

Dreaming of my grandmother talking about her biggest regrets in life. Weirdly she was in a little bundle under a coffee table, much like Voldemort in the last Harry Potter movie.

My weird, weird brain. How both pleasure and pain enhance my sense of smell and increase my brain activity, almost causing hallucinations and fixations on ideas. Like geometric shapes in gloomy off-colours and a beige silicon-like surface the other night. All I could think of was a benchscraper.

Blue eyeliner.

Brainstorming three-letter-words with Frank since I’m thinking of getting personalised Nike Blazers. Sad cat. Yes but. Dat ass. Why tho.

Flying squirrels. Watching them wobble through the air. How they look like cute exhibitionist when they’re extending their limbs and thus stretching their, well, let’s just call it wings.

The fact that red cabbage has an intricate pattern like brain convolutions when you cut it open.

Talking to Sonja for the first time in over two years. What a strange person. Interesting, too. At least in homeopathic doses.

Ripe strawberries and nectarines. Oh my god. I love fruit.

Meeting Eve at Pub Quiz. She identifies as female, loves swing dance, used to be an animator and I love her style. Also, I realised that really like Betty. And Dennis wasn’t mean to me for once. I love my nerd friends <3 And I learned that Starbucks was named after the first mate in Moby Dick! Also, coincidentally they asked a question about the city where To Kill a Mockingbird takes place (Maycombe, Alabama) after I had read it the week before.

Inviting Lorena to the Botanical Gardens. I always feel very happy and very much myself when I’m there. I sometimes wish I was a gardener. Lorena was late so I walked along the Spring Path outside and it might have been the first time I’ve seen a brussels sprouts plant. Inside I learned lots of Spanish words and marveled at the incredible butterflies. The huge yellow one right behind the entrance was my favourite. Its delicate feelers were fascinating.

Washing my hands at the Keg’s bathroom. Looking into the mirror. Suddenly thinking of the perfect karaoke song… Rescue Me by Bell Book and Candle! I kept singing it for days on repeat. My neighbour must hate me (nothing new here) especially since my voice is too low for the chorus.

It isn’t hard to see how such attachment patterns can undermine mental health. Both anxious and avoidant coping have been linked to a heightened risk of anxiety, depression, loneliness, eating and conduct disorders, alcohol dependence, substance abuse and hostility. The way to treat these problems, say attachment theorists, is in and through a new relationship. On this view, the good therapist becomes a temporary attachment figure, assuming the functions of a nurturing mother, repairing lost trust, restoring security, and instilling two of the key skills engendered by a normal childhood: the regulation of emotions and a healthy intimacy. // An interesting article on attachment styles and why theraphy works; it makes me want to learn more about attachment theory. This School of Life video is a nice addition as well.

That dream. About a book shop modeled after my picture of Penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore. There was an old man in a very narrow but high-ceilinged room full of books. There was no light source except for moonlight or some street lights. There were loads of stairs, very steep, leading to the back of the house. Upstairs the man would set out cat food and on the rooftop there was an old sailing boat. One day the man decided to open the door to the roof and let visitors see the ship, much like a museum; perhaps to attract customers. However, in the next night a cat-shaped ghost appeared who reminded me quite a lot of Kot Behemoth character in Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita. The ghost was not amused about the old man’s decision and took away his key, a big golden one adorned with a red ribbon.

Toasted sesame makes pretty much every dish so much better.

Watching High Fidelity with gorgeous Zoe Kravitz (I adore her effortless style and her outfits), getting in the mood for making a playlist and listening to more music in general. There are all these great songs out there I forgot about.

Remembering the xkcd storm chaser comics.

Making a wicked good batch of Pho for Tom.

Spending a nice evening with Alex at Shamrock. Singing along to American Boy by Estelle. Confirming the hypothesis that the nerdy, quiet ones usually have a freak streak. That moment in the morning. Eye contact and kegel exercises.

Karaoke with Margit and Betty. Meeting Manu’s doppelganger. Same type, looks, voice. Eerie.

Making a BA Gourmet Makes meme for Steffen after he had passed his law examps. Strangely Gaby kinda looked like him after I was done with it.

Saturday morning in bed. Reading comics and graphic novels. Fresh bedclothes, surrounded by books. Since it was February 29 I thought about leap years and asked a few friends what their inner seven-year-old would have done that day (based on the thought experiment that your birthday was on February 29 and you’d age in 4-year-steps which would divide your age by 4 obviously).      

I came up with: visiting grandma / eating Cini-Minis / falling asleep with my face buried in a cat / beating my neighbour Anna at Memory / drawing while listening to a Bibi Blocksberg cassette.

Alex said he’d have been outside all day, building a snow igloo. Not noticing his mum telling him to come to dinner. If the weather had been bad he would have played with his dinosaur collection. His inner 7-year-old was a hopeless dreamer who got agitated whenever his parents had a fight. Who came home late from school every day because he forgot about time when he was talking to his friend next to a hedge with thorns that looked like tiny airplanes.

Lena said she would have been outside all day long, playing in the mud with the neighbours’ kids. Of course.

#things i love #present perfect #personal #february 2020 #february #2020

[hoovesmadeofsteel]

MODERN PRISON AU (RDR2)

cw/tw: mentions assault, death, police brutality, racism, and unlawful imprisonment.

I hope you all like this, please let me know if there are any concerns or anything I’ve failed to acknowledge. sorry for spelling mistakes/grammar, I try! enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INMATE: DUTCH VAN DER LINDE

Dutch previously ran with an infamous biker gang, where he would make fake deals with other gangs, kidnap/hold people for ransom and kill whoever wronged him or the gang. Funny… After being screwed over by a previous gang member who was working with the law, it landed him in a federal penitentiary.

Dutch is known to be highly dangerous and a violent individual, best to be on his good side. He is also covered in tattoos. On his upper back, there is a tattoo of two revolvers and some roses, on his right forearm, a portrait of Mother Mary. Numerous tattoos dedicated to gang. bloody dagger & bull skull on his back. scorpion tattoo on his arm, as well as other American traditional work. teardrop under his left eye. 

INMATE: ARTHUR MORGAN

As a young poor man, Arthur lived a normal to not so good life. Becoming an orphan at such a young age, caused him to always be on the move, making it extremely hard for him to trust anyone. Until he one day fell in love with somebody, who ended up being his everything. After horrific events, seeing, hearing, and knowing the physical and mental damage his love was going through after an assault, he was worried about their safety, knew what was best for his significant other. Death to who has harmed them. And not a quick one.

Two years after what was dealt with, law enforcement came to arrest Arthur for his crime. A life sentence. Possibility for parole after 25 yrs, but unlikely.

Arthur spends most of his time sketching the landscape outside of his cell window, trains that go by, writes update/love letters to his partner, poetry, and loves to whistle old johnny cash songs to past time. He doesn’t talk much to the other inmates, he just tries to stay sane, and out of trouble. Hope he does have... for a good life again. He’ll never regret what he has done.

INMATE: CHARLES SMITH

The story of Charles’ imprisonment is much different. Unlawful most could say, but definitely immoral and cruel. Racist. Charles lived on family and sacred land that was in his family for generations. Raising cattle, raised horses, and other farm animals. Living a very hard life, not making much money at all.

The day came when the government told Charles that his land was in fact not his or his family’s. They claimed it was public land and that he would be forced out if he did not leave. His land was being ceased illegally. This is something Charles could not lose. After a fight for what was his, being beat to near death, police arrested Charles.

A wise, respectful and perceptive man Charles is, he dove into everything he could about the law while serving his time in prison. Getting his home back. Charles also helped other young indigenous/POC understand the law, and help them get justice for themselves and others.

In the end, after serving 3 years, Charles won back his land and was granted money for his false imprisonment. It wasn’t really winning since it was always his. He was proud, he was always proud.

INMATE: JOSIAH TRELAWNY

Working as entertainment in big name casinos in Las Vegas, Josiah always wanted something a bit more than he had to offer. Doing petty crimes and embezzling money, Josiah soon saw himself with a lot of “dirty” money. He quickly realized he could get away with something much bigger. He thought. A counterfeit high roller he became, buying thousands of dollars in poker chips, turning his dirty money into “clean.” This didn’t last long. One Christmas eve, he was detained and arrested for casino money laundering.

An immense flirt, sweet talker, and all around social man, Josiah found it easy to fit in with other inmates. He is highly intelligent, so, bribing is second nature for him. When it comes to ways to scam and make quick money, he is the man to talk to. Although, it would be in the best interest of people if they were weary of Josiah’s motives and trust.

#arthur morgan #rdr2 x reader #dutch van der linde x reader #arthur morgan x reader #dutch van der linde #josiah trelawny #charles smith #*writing #red dead redemption 2

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[rubberduckyrye]

Bls do the list stuff for Kurochi... my son... but also Kaede, hit me with ur thoughts on her

Send me a character and I’ll list: (Kurochi)

Favorite thing about them - Everything??? Like literally everything??? I love his sass, I love his personality, I love his motivations and character........ and is it vain of me to say I love his design? Ehe~ 

Least favorite thing about them - He’s not canon and this is absolutely unacceptable.

Favorite line - Oh gooood. I have no idea. He’s got so many good lines. Though I think I’ve gotta chalk it up to this specific line: “If that’s what you think, without thinking through it at all, then that really does make you a pathetic detective.” This is the first of many iterations of a post chapter 4 trial scene, specifically a response to when Shuichi calls Kokichi “dangerous”, but this one??? This one is my favorite for some reason. It sums up nicely the issues with both Kurochi, who is biased and loyal to Kokichi to a fault, and the rest of the class, who are using Kokichi as a scapegoat and not thinking about the consequences of their actions.

BrOTP - The twins, ofc! But I also brotp him with like.... everyone.... but I think that I kind of brotp him and Kiyo a lot tbh? Also Miu and Kaede.

OTP - Shuochi, Kairochi, Jadochi, Kurochi dating all three??? Yes pls. (Also why Shuichi isn’t a Brotp for Rochi, though I can also see them as bros)

NOTP - I don’t really have strong feelings. Probably Kurochi and Maki tbh? More so because I laugh at the idea of that ever happening.

Random headcanon - While Kokichi has Mr. Hopps, I imagine that Kurochi has a stuff animal that was made by his mother that is equivalent in sentimentality. Probably an animal that Kurochi was a huge fan of as a toddler. Umeko wouldn’t just make Kokichi a plush, she’s make both her babies plushies.

Unpopular opinion - Uuuuuhhhh that requires me to know popular opinions and not agree with them. Except the popular consensus is that Kurochi is a precious baby and I mean. That’s just canon.

Song I associate with them - This is totally cheating but Lollia’s cover of Exorcism is still His Song to me. Lollia’s cover of Rolling Girl fits both twins imo. This World To You by Eve and Rachie’s cover of Circles makes me think of Kokichi thinking of his brother in a dead!Rochi AU. Juby’s cover of Self Inflicted Achromatic also reminds me of Rochi... okay there’s a lot of songs I could associate with him okay???

Favorite picture of them - Uh this feels weird cause a lot of stuff I made fndnajdnka but honestly??? I love all of the fan art people have made for Kurochi. They’re all so cute and good and I always want to see more hhhhhh

Send me a character and I’ll list: (Kaede)

Favorite thing about them - I just love how relatable I find Kaede tbh? Like the fact she’s very ADHD just makes me happy. I relate to that so much. I feel like personality wise, I’d be most like her too. 

Least favorite thing about them - Hmmm, I gotta say the kinda creepy sexual stuff is gross but bad writers are bad and the Author is Dead to Me

Favorite line - Oh Geez... Nothing really sticks out to me sadly? TBH I can only think of the great one liners Kokichi and Kaito had fnjndkjndjka. I do like it when she’s v done with Miu and like “You haven’t learned anything!”

BrOTP - Saimatsu. I personally really like this ship as platonic friends more than romantic. 

OTP - Uuuuuh, I kind of like Momomatsu, Irumatsu, Oumaede can be good... I haven’t seen much else for other ships that I liked

NOTP - If we’re talking about romantic ships only, Saimatsu. I think the ship’s been kind of soiled for me from all of the Shuichi haters that were just salty the first main game girl protagonist died. I can’t see them in a good relationship now, sadly.

Random headcanon - Kaede is on the chubby side and you can’t convince me otherwise

Unpopular opinion - Ya’ll saw this coming but I don’t actually hate it that Kaede died and was replaced with Shuichi. I think both had potential for character growth, but Kaede’s growth would have leaned more into the negative side of things. with how bad the writing can get, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kaede would’ve been written in such a way that made her unlikable. 

Song I associate with them - Anything with piano in it tbh. I don’t actually have any songs that I listen to that make me think strictly of her though.

Favorite picture of them - Something about this picture of Kaede is just so cute tbh

#tacobellebandit

[little-dragon-stories]

Crossroads

Part 4: A slight change of plans

A collab with @aspaceformyselffics09

What happens when you are at a point in your life where you need to change direction, but are uncertain of the road to take? Would you take a random road or would you wait for a sign? And what happens if at a bend of the path, you meet someone that seems at the same point as you, a traveller, needing the same change of direction as you? Would you choose to take that road together? What happens when you meet, at the crossroads?

Warning: no

Words count: 3238.

Note from me only: guys, you have no idea how excited I am about this collab. In the future, you will see equally Jiyong and Namjoon, don't worry. It's very nice to mix 2 fandom together, don't you think? The story is already planned, it will be a long, funny and wonderful journey. I hope you like it.

Also, we had to give our females characters a name instead of the usual "y/n", it makes it a little more difficult for the reader, maybe, to imagine yourself in her position. But we had no choice, we have 2 baby girls 🤷🏼‍♀️. As they say, pick your fighter 😛 are you more Miso or Lilly? You want to be Ji or Nam's lover? You can choose people. It's up to you ♥️

Guys I have to say.... working with @aspaceformyself @aspaceformyselffics09 is so wonderful, you have no idea. She's so intelligent and her english skills are just amazing. I'm impressed. She embellish everything I write with her poesie. Sometimes, in google docs, we start to add something, as we stop to look what the other is writing (yes, we can create together, live, it's magical) we found out the other is following the same idea. We want to add the exact same little detail (with differents words, of course) it's really impressive ♥️. My lovely indian princess, thanks for the trust, the respect, the peacefull atmosphere in which we create and most of all, thanks for the friendship. We create so good together, right? It's fun to see how our ideas complete each other's ideas! I love you ♥️ I can't wait to read what we'll create along the way.

Anyway, here it is, part 4 guys!

*********************************************************************************

“Ice creaaaaam, ice creaaaaaaam”, Miso sang as she skipped along the already darkening streets illuminated by the tiny sparkles of the neon lights from the buildings that stood like a backdrop to the city scape. It was the beginning of the evening, a breezy one to be exact and the onset of the chill in the air is evident by how it made Miso pull her overcoat a bit closer to herself. She was walking slowly on the sidewalk, unbothered by the passers-by that were in a hurry to get to their destination. Swimming and blending among the vast crowd. It was one of those usual evenings in Seoul, when the rush hour took over and people who just get out of work scurry their way home to their families. But despite the cold and the rush, Miso felt warm inside thinking about the night she's about to have with her best friend Kwon Jiyong.

She was just out of work and the day had been very busy. Miso doesn’t remember a moment where she is not running around with her camera flung around her neck and yelling directions to the staff and the model she worked with. The models she worked with, aren’t usually very fussy people but the one she had to deal with today, was out right unprofessional and a royal pain in the ass.

So, tonight, she was tired and mostly wanted nothing but to sit, relax, laze around and watch countless movies as she stuffs her face with good food. Basically, a usual night with Ji. Those were always fun and not complicated. Their friendship was “split” between very childish moments and some deep conversations. In Ji, Miso has found a big brother, a confident and a personal motivator. They can share their deepest thoughts, things they would be ashamed to tell somebody else. And the minute after they could laugh over bad quality anime on the television, laughing like 2 kids with their mouths wide open. That’s the kind of friendship they shared together. A real, not complicated one, comfortable enough to show their lamest sides to each other without any Judgement, comfortable enough to laugh at it, make fun of it but at the same time have each other's backs at all times needed.

Excited about the evening to come, she subconsciously reaches out to the phone sitting in her overcoat pocket and dials him.

“Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii”, She sing songs over the phone.

Although the phone clicked in an answer mode she was met with complete silence on the other side. Not precisely silence but rather the sound of things shuffling and scurrying but no voice.

“Ji are you there?” Miso calls out.

A beat of silence later, a hurried voice answers, “Ah yes my tiny one, what’s up?”

“What do you mean, what’s up? What are you doing?” She asks pouting, “You sound like you’re in a hurry. I don’t need anything fancy you know, just the casual beer and movie night is enough for me”.

“I’m not busy, I’m just getting dressed Miso”.

“Getting dressed? What for?” She asks the confusion in her voice ringing clear, “Pretty sure it’s not for me”.

“Pff, for you? Obviously not for you.”

“Ji, what are you up to? I am coming over with your favorite cookies, remember?”

“Miso, I am a bit late, talk to you later little one”.

“Ji? Jiyong?” And before she could say anything further, the line clicks shut on the other side.

“Ugh”, Miso groans, rolls her eyes and continues to walk ahead, stuffing her phone back into her pocket,“I can’t believe he hung up the phone on me”, she sighs, huffing up her cheeks. “What is he doing?”

Curious, she hurries down the road to her best friend’s apartment. And as she nears it, she could sense the commotion inside which confuses her even further. Cautiously she opens the door with a spare key Ji gave her and carefully steps inside. There, she’s met with a sight she didn’t usually expect on a saturday night. Usually, it’s just her, Ji, a ton of food, a pile of DVDs of all the film they both want to watch and Ji’s exotic TV screen. But today when she looked inside, it was anything but that. Today, there are some n number of people squirming about his place, stylists, make up artists, a few photographers etc. Nothing made sense to Miso. But she still made her way inside squeezing herself between the sea of people. Not really, but that’s just what Miso felt like. And finally, in one of the rooms, she found Ji.

He was watching his reflection in front of a standing mirror. A little turn to the left, he seems satisfied. A little turn to the right, yes, he likes what he sees. He then gestures a thumbs up to his stylist, grabs her by the shoulders and playfully messes up her ponytail.

“Noona, you’re the best. Once again, thank you for making me look good tonight”.

“You’re welcome Jiyong ssi”. She said brightly while squirming and trying to escape Jiyong’s playful embrace. This was the moment he notices Miso leaning against the door frame.

“Hey Minnie! Why are you here girl?” Jiyong delightfully sprints over to his best friend, “Awww, You wanted to see me? You missed me love?”

“You forgot didn’t you?” She points at him accusingly.

Ji looks at her confused. He isn’t really sure what she came to see him for, and his mind begins to race with questions. Did he forget something? Did they plan anything?

“It’s our night together Ji! You promised…” She whines faking an exaggerated disappointment. “Umm, but Minnie, you know this event tonight, right? I’ve told you many times”.

“Well, no you didn’t”, she deadpans.

“I did”, he says and before she could whine any further he continues, “Remember yesterday we were talking and I was telling you how I have to attend an event. You were even excited that BTS was gonna show up?”

Miso stares at him for a while before the realization dawns upon her. Ji did inform her.

“You forgot didn’t you?” It was now Ji’s turn to stare at her accusingly, trying his best to hide the smirk threatening to form on his face.

Miso just grins at him sheepishly. She can’t believe that she was so lost in her dreamland she forgot his event.

Still too proud to give up, she says,“You know what? It’s okay Ji, it’s the first time you are abandoning me, so it’s gonna be strike one”.

“Your unbelievable!” Ji scoffs as he scoops Miso into his arms in a big embrace. Laughing to herself Miso snuggles into him. He then kisses the top of her head as the rest of the staff had already almost disappeared from the room, leaving their presence a strange phantomatic souvenir, as if they were never here at all.

“If you are talking about this event, yes you did tell me, I remember now. You just never mentioned it was tonight”.

“Oopsie”.

She took a step back, looked at her friend’s outfit and showed her appreciation by applauding.

“You look almost good, I am impressed. Your stylist and makeup artist can turn your ugly ass into somebody pretty, I am amazed by their talent” she says, laughing.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Jiyong is now used to Miso’s sarcastic sense of humour.

“Anyway! I declare your house my little nest for the rest of the evening. I can’t think of a better place to be right now, your freezer must be loaded with my favorite ice cream, I will watch you on your big screen while relishing it”.

“Hahahaha, sure my little one. Make yourself at home for tonight. I put your clothes in the usual place. Grab them if you need something comfortable okay?”

Ji then glances at his watch and continues, “Sorry but I have to go now Minnie, have fun while I’m gone, see you when I come back okay? Don’t expect me home soon though, I have an after event party”.´

“That’s what I thought, have fun, I am not going anywhere anytime soon”.

He answered in some inaudible words, before being dragged out by his manager.

Sighing in disappointment, Miso realised all her plans for the night were gone. That she was left alone in her best friend’s big apartment with only Aye as a friend. But! She won’t let this put all her plans aside for the night. She’s still determined to do whatever she thought to. Even if her best friend abandoned her. Even if she has to do it by herself. So, pulling up her sleeves, Miso first finds her way to the guest room where Ji usually stakes up all the clothes and things she leaves behind. On the top of her BTS pajama neatly folded in the drawer of the dresser she uses, she found a Big Bang pajama with a handwritten note from Ji “you should also encourage your best friend you know, wear this if you love me. Just saying” with a lot of smiley and hearts encircling the little message. Laughing, she takes a quick shower in the attending bathroom and changes into her comfortable Koya nightdress. She scoops all the cushions from the bed, let them in the middle of the living room. Then made her way to Ji’s room and stole all his pillows too, with a big smirk plastered onto her face.

“You hate it when I put your precious pillows on the floor, right Mister Ji? Ha ha! Then you should have stayed here tonight to protect them against the mighty me”.

She arranges the cushions so as to form a cozy nest, right in front of the mega big screen of the living room. Realizing she forgot the blankets, she runs up to Ji’s bedroom again. She seizes the luxurious mattress cover in black silk and without hesitation puts it on the floor in the living room where she built her empire. Ji would be fuming if he knew what treatment she reserves to his precious bedding.

“Isn’t it the perfect spot to be watching Namjoon’s precious face? If not, I wonder what is” Miso thinks to herself, a dreamy look on her face. “Have I ever seen his beautiful dimples on the big screen before? I don’t think so…. Oh! My! God!”.

Excited she scrunches her face and squeals like a little girl as she jumps around in her exquisite fort. She then skips her way to the dining area, opens the fridge and chooses a meal among the cooked dishes that Ji’s personal cook had made for him.

“Let’s see what we got here tonight… black noodles?” She scans the fridge as she hums a tune to herself, “ No… tofu soup… mmm maybe…”

She finally picks some haemul pageon (athin crêpe of seafood and chives), sniffing and salivating at the delicious smell coming from the oven as she heats it. She then places a glass of water, some radish kimchi she cooked for Ji last week because he loves her kimchi the most and her meal on a transport tray and finally comes back to her magic fort, ready to watch her favorite people on the big screen.

“I can’t believe I’m about to see Namjoon on this screen! This is so exciting!” She sings dramatically twirling about, like she’s a princess from a disney movie, “I hope I will survive his handsomeness, aaaaw, he’s so cute, I can’t wait to see him!”

She then places her plate on the table and looks around the room for the tv remote. Keeping her search operation as quick as possible as her precious seafood is on the low coffee table being all vulnerable for Aye the food predator!

Oh! Now that she thinks about it, her eyes open wide, she realizes that she hadn't seen him since she got here today. Hopefully, he’s just hiding somewhere, Ji would be really sad if his beloved son, as he calls him, would have escaped somewhere earlier, through the come and go of the staff. She needs to look for the little guy.

“But nooooo! I don’t want to miss the first minutes of the show” she says out loud, mentally conflicted. Her eyes drift to the clock on the terminal, “I have about 3 minutes, let’s go find the feline before then”.

“Aye! Aye! Where are you wild cat? Your master abandoned you too, right?” She called out as she went around the house, “Well, he abandoned me too. Look, I have a sad face on. Get out of your hiding spot little one, I am here… Aye! I’ll even share ice cream with you if you dare show me your little nose, I swear I will!”

“Wow! I am trying to talk to a cat now, he will never get out if Ji is not here” she thinks to herself. Her eyes trailing back to the clock every now and then. Even though she’s running out of time, she wants to make sure that he’s still in the apartment somewhere, she knows how Jiyong loves his cat. He calls her 10 times a day whenever she stays at his place to take care of him when he was out of Seoul. He never calls her that often when she’s not cat sitting.

“Aye! Come here you gutter cat! Come here!”

As she looks everywhere around the apartment, she realises that the door of the cellar is not completely closed like it should be, to keep the wine at a good temperature.

“Why is this open?” She thinks to herself. At first her mind races with the thoughts of an intruder and she panics for a second before she remembers the cat. “It could be the cat”, She tells herself, “Not an intruder”. But even as she tells herself that, back in her mind she knows a cat can’t open a door handle. And she mentally prepares herself to either run, or call an emergency number in case it turns out that there’s an intruder after all. Nonetheless, she cautiously enters the cellar and spots the cat right away, sleeping on the top shelf.

“There you are! It’s cold here, come on down”.

Of course, the unbothered cat didn’t even flinch at her attempt to make him get down. But she can’t leave him there, the cellar will change temperature, oh! Drama! and it’s too cold for a cat too. She then places a bench near the shelf and uses it to reach higher towards the sleeping cat which finally allows her to grab him and take him into her arms despite his attempts to get out of her grip. It was then as she was getting down the step, that a bottle of wine catches her interest. There was something in the way it was packaged or the lettering or the graphics or the description that caught her eye. And as she reached out to it, she thought, “Why not! After all, we often open a bottle of red together, plus it’s the weekend and I deserve it after all the hard work today. I’m sure he won’t be mad if I drink it without him”, she grabs the bottle with a shrug of her shoulders, “Good! now let’s go back to my man, my handsome Kim Namjoon”.

Precautiously, she closes the door as she leaves the cellar with her treasures securely tucked under her arms. Making her way to the living room, she sets the cat down on the floor and the bottle of wine on the table in front of her. Aye immediately makes a dash for it and snuggles up to himself in the fort. Sighing, she sits herself down, switches on the TV, flips the channel to the one broadcasting the event and finally takes a bite of her food.

“Mmmmmm”, she hums, closing her eyes, quite pleased by its taste. Ji’s personal cook really is the best! She then unscrews, pop’s the wine open and pours some into a glass. Carefully lifts it up, twirls it and takes a long sip, “Delicious!” She exclaims and sets the glass down and turns her attention to the screen. A few minutes passed by since the broadcast started. Although Miso was sad she missed the introduction, she was still happy because the camera is now focusing on BTS. Which means, she can watch them, in close up, on that wide big screen.

“Ah! There he is! My Namjoonie! My beautiful man ” She exclaims to no one in particular but more to herself, the cat and the empty room around her, then clutching her hand to her chest, she gushes, “Look at those dimples Aye! They’re to die for! Don’t you think so too Kitty?”

She was not sure if she saw correctly on the screen because she was focussing on Namjoon all the time but it seems that it was Jiyong sitting on Namjoon’s left side now. Has she seen correctly? She’s not quite sure. She wants to know so she grabs her cell phone and write a message to Ji.

“Kwon Jiyong, if you are sitting next to MY man, please touch his face for me and don't wash your hands. Try to touch the skin, omg… I will awkwardly lick your fingers as soon as you are home. Please? Let me do it? Pretty please?”

Dramatically wiping some fake tears, Miso reaches out to the glass in front of her and takes one more long sip and thus her night goes. Amazing food, the event broadcast, fangirling whenever Namjoon’s on the screen, talking to Aye, sometimes texting Jiyong as she sees him on the screen and of course, the delicious wine.

Meanwhile...

Meanwhile, in Seoul, in a place farther than Ji’s apartment, at the venue of the event, Kim Namjoon finds himself sprinting towards the exit. As he looks around the area to see if he can spot his bandmates anywhere around but it appears that they had already made it outside. They were in the middle of the event when their manager suddenly called and informed them that they have to immediately rush to the airport to catch their flight. You see, they anyway had to go to the airport soon after the event as they’ll be out recording and shooting over seas for the next few months. But it so happened that all the flights got preponed due to the weather which means BTS has to check in early and catch the flight earlier than they have anticipated and that brings us back to why Namjoon was in a hurry.

And soon, he was out of the venue, in the limo, on his way to the airport. Though his face reflects the gaiety of his fellow bandmates, he was nonetheless, a little concerned about the sudden change of plans due to the meteoric condition. And regardless of everything, he wants everyone travelling tonight to be safe and sound. Suddenly, as if snapping him right out of his thoughts, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Who could be texting him at this time? And as if on cue, the phone continues to buzz as a string of messages flood his phone. The blue light illuminates his face as he clicks it open and looks at it, confused.

What the hell was that?

#bts #bigbang #방탄소년단 #빅뱅 #gd #rm #kwon jiyong #kim namjoon #bts serie #bigbang serie #bts namjoon fluff #bigbang jiyong fluff #kpop multifandom #writers collab #collab #g dragon serie #namjoon serie

[littlelovelymemes]

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Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?  ’ ‘  and the final mood for 2017 is: you know those days where you’re like, this might as well happen?  ’ ‘  putting more importance into self care, spirituality, love and peace of mind. start with stretching and deep breathing.  ’ ‘  dont forget to tell someone you love that you love them, thank people who deserve to be thanked, be more patient on people having a hard time, be more considerate, understanding, and be kinder, always.  ’ ‘  do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic  ’ ‘  2032 is gonna be my year just u wait  ’ ‘  I want a “I made a playlist for you” typa love  ’ ‘  @ 2018 the bar is literally so low  ’ ‘  Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike.  ’ ‘  i have a “why am i like this” moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  very sad to hear about donald trump. nothing happened to him i’m just sad to hear about him  ’ ‘  *me, eyes wide open at 3am* what happened to chandler bing once he got to yemen  ’ ‘  tonight’s mood is the deep desire to be held close in a dimly lit room, covered in blankets while rain is softly falling outside  ’ ‘  do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”  ’ ‘  i guess im just too fucking dumb to lucid dream. cant ever realize im in a dream, i’ll look around me like damn i’m in my old elementary school and my teeth are falling out and im naked? well shit guess this is my life now. got fooled by my subconscious again lads  ’ ‘  u ever get no sleep and the next day ur body functions like the tumblr app  ’ ‘  you ever wonder how many people you’re in the “we’re friends but i would kiss you if you asked” club with  ’ ‘  is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week  ’ ‘  The only thing toxic that you should still be in contact with is that song Britney Spears made, because that song is lit.  ’ ‘  imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.  ’ ‘  take care of yourself, please. i don’t know what id do if anything happened to you.  ’ ‘ crazy how personal growth can make you let go of people you swore you couldn’t live without.  ’ ‘  im in no position to have high standards but it doesn’t stop me  ’ ‘  you can start over at anytime. your day is not ruined. your world is not over. take a deep breath. start over.  ’ ‘  I’m gonna have a bomb ass life and I know it cause I’ve suffered so much and I know that wasn’t for no reason  ’ ‘  you ever just get in bed and ur like yep this is where i’m meant to be  ’ ‘  an unstoppable force (my love of books) meets an unmovable object (my lack of a desire to actually read anything)  ’ ‘  i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks  ’ ‘  sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen  ’ ‘  me when i see a wild animal in a metropolitan area: reclaim your space, we are the invaders, retake what is yours  ’ ‘  no offense but money would solve literally every single one of my problems. like all of them. i dont have a single problem that money wouldnt immediately solve  ’ ‘  i am not enough and it’s eating me alive  ’ ‘  what do u mean “what have i been up to” … i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch  ’ ‘  always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.  ’ ‘  The struggle between me wanting to be successful and me wanting to lay in bed 24/7  ’ ‘  If you play “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé at exactly 11:58:50 pm on New Year’s Eve, Beyoncé will say “World Stop” in 2017 and “Carry On” in 2018.  ’ ‘  Self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta  ’ ‘  you ever just like “wow that’s my voice? people listen to this clown on a daily basis?”  ’ ‘  ravioli ravioli give me a reason to live  ’ ‘  finally worked up the courage to tell the starbucks girl she was beautiful and i only puked twice  ’ ‘  do i wanna know??? no. but thank u monkey friends  ’ ‘  hey this is kinda ns.fw but i wann h*ld your h*nd  ’ ‘  talent: overthinking  ’ ‘  have you ever had that feeling that you really wanna workout to get a flat stomach… but you also just wanna eat pizza and watch netflix.  ’ ‘  if you google eyebrows are you eyebrowsing  ’ ‘  *skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game  ’ ‘  Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”  ’ ‘  my hands? ready to be held  ’ ‘  Catch These Hands! with your hands. we’re holding hands now. this is nice  ’ ‘  kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea  ’ ‘  physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll  ’ ‘  I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand  ’ ‘  my childhood, or, as i like to call it, the general abyss with one or two memories attached to it   ’ ‘  i know ‘gay’ isn’t an emotion but let’s be real,,,,,,,,,it kind of is and i feel it 24/7  ’ ‘  babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it  ’ ‘  just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined  ’ ‘  i’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day. i’m on both ends of the spectrum  ’ ‘  this year has changed me more than I ever thought it would.   ’ ‘  it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together.  ’ ‘  if you wanna love me hmu  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak  ’ ‘  i’m that one guy on spongebob always screaming about his leg  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  i just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.  ’ ‘  never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if i get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how i go.  ’ ‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45  ’ ‘  my blood is glow stick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.  ’ ‘  are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for  ’ ‘  honestly, my goal in life is just to be a very warm person. i want to be as loving and as kind as i can be.  ’ ‘  just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch  ’ ‘  you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well  ’ ‘  when y'all fake conversations in your heads do you sometimes say random sentences out loud too? i was just tying my shoes and said very sternly and loudly “i DO know how ants work, fucker”  ’ ‘  true space facts: if u look up there it is  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  how am i sensitive and a bitch at the same time  ’

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #inbox meme #indie rp #rp ask meme #rp sentence meme #askbox meme #rp ask box meme #inbox memes #rp inbox meme #inbox starters #rp sentence starters #sentence starter meme

[17piesinseptember]

Tagged by @bkmarchand :) I was looking for something to do so this has come at the right moment (apologies to the fic I should be working on).

the rules are:

✰ post the rules ✰ answer the questions given to you by the tagger ✰ write eleven questions of your own ✰ tag eleven people

questions (Beth put in two question 5′s so you’re all lucky):

1) your favorite animal and why? When I was younger my fav was a seal. I don’t remember why. Maybe coz it could balance a ball on its nose :P

2) what is your funniest memory from when you were a kid? The first thing that comes to mind is one Christmas Eve, myself and my two sisters were sharing a room at the time and we thought it would be brilliant to stack all the mattresses on top of each other and try to get on top of them. Lots of laughter. Minimal success.

3) what would your goal song/theme song be? It took me a while to realise that ‘goal song’ is referring to a hockey thing (I think?). Jokingly, Gold by Spandau Ballet was chosen by my family as my motivation song during the HSC but since then I’ve always thought of it that way. ♪ Always believe in your soul/You've got the power to know/You're indestructible/Always believe in, because you are/Gold ♪

4) what’s your dream job? Writer (novelist or screenwriter)

5) Do you have any goals for this year? Be more active, which is going well so far!

5) who is your favorite celebrity (or athlete) and why? Well, it’s not an athlete coz I don’t follow sport. Um...I barely keep up with celebrities. Maybe Britt Robertson, in the sense that if she’s in a thing, the chances I’ll watch it increase 200%. I think it goes way back to her being in Avalon High (that terrible Disney channel film of one of my most-read/-loved books).

6) favorite book? (When I write my questions I’m going to try and avoid ‘favourites’ because they trip me up so much!) I’m a big fantasy reader, but it’s too hard to choose one from that genre (and so many are series). I’m going to go with Saving Francesca, by Melina Marchetta, one of my favourite Australian authors.

7) best concert you’ve ever been to OR concert you really want to go to. I go to A LOT of concerts, but recently I saw Foster the People and they were fantastic. The most fun I’ve had at a gig in ages :D

8) what event are you most excited to watch in the 2018 Winter Olympics? Haha um... I like the weird ones (but living in Aus, most winter sports are ‘weird’ to me). So like curling, skeleton, luge etc. But also ones that I can appreciate with no foreknowledge like ski jumps, which just looks cool.

9) If you could go back in time, where/when would you go? I’m going to steal and answer I think I read someone else use for this question: I’d go back to the era my parents grew up in, see what’s different and what’s the same.

10) Silver or Gold? Gold. (Though I’ve been told silver is better for my skin tone, but whatever, I do what I want :P)

11) what’s your favorite thing about yourself? I’m pretty positive about myself but I don’t think I’ve ever thought about a ‘favourite’. I’m trustworthy/reliable - I’ll stick to commitments, keep promises and the like.

And I’m going to tag 11 people even if it takes me all night! Participation is non-compulsory, of course :) @notenoughgatorade @happyzimm @bittiesjack @teluete @loveyoutoobits @alocalband @itsybittle @actualhockeyrobot @jckzimmermanns @whoacanada @wrathofthestag

List the first five words that come into your head.

Fill in the blanks: If I woke up tomorrow and was ____ years old, the first I think would do is ____.

If you could request an illustrated version of any novel, which would it be?

Are the decisions you make under pressure generally good/sensible or bad/rash?

Summer fruit or winter fruit?

Bitty’s baking you a pie! What flavour do you ask him for?

True or False: I’ve (as in you) been in the OMGCP fandom for over a year.

You’re about to embark on some epic house-cleaning. What music do you put on while you work?

If you could switch bodies with someone for 48 hours, who would it be and why?

What is a ‘scone’ to you?

Uh-oh, your computer died. What are you most cut up about losing from your hard drive?

#ask meme #not omgcp

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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