#the amount of remarks i send via texts

[gemkun]

silver wolf. silver wolf is so incredibly gem-coded and gem you are so egregiously silver wolf coded. its kind of amazing honestly. if you were to be government assigned any particular character to kin, it would most certainly be silver wolf. if you rejected the assignment and asked again, it would be silver wolf again. silver wolf over and over. silver wolf 100%, gem the true denizen of punklorde, gem the one who will always be there to say "NO" to me "YOU THERE?????!!!", stinky stinky gem who is sassy and a little bit smart and bratty and annoying enough to match me, gem who is bnuuy coded just the same way wolfie is. what i'm saying is gem should absolutely write silver wolf, you two are made for each other, stop swimming in the cesspit of denial and GET TO IT.

↬ send me a canon character you believe i could write

no.

#* ✦ 𝐈. ❮ ooc ❯ ⸻ ❝ #* ✦ 𝐈𝐈. ❮ asks ❯ ⸻ ❝ #* ✦ kafkaisms #you are never getting me to write silver wolf #no matter the amount of chewing gum i go through #the amount of hacking i do #the amount of gaming #the amount of remarks i send via texts #i will never never never write your wolfie #how come i never get silver wolf on the quizzes hmmm? #clearly there is a lapse in your judgement #no matter how many times you say bnuuy i will not surrender

[to-killtime]

can broken hearts be mended? [Mycroft x reader]

Chapter 2: 

Having an already busy day, the last thing Mycroft wanted was for his younger brother to barge into his office unannounced, probably to demand something. His eyes merely gave a glance to the younger man and he took it as an acknowledgement to start talking.

 “Guess who I saw today, brother mine.”

 “A fingerless pianist?”

 “You have gotten dull, it seems to go hand in hand with your gains at the side.”

 Getting more annoyed by the second, Mycroft’s eyebrows knitted together and was about to give Sherlock a snide remark but was instead interrupted.

 “She’s back.”

 There wasn’t a need to clarify who exactly she was since Mycroft’s expression falters the tiniest bit at that statement, something Sherlock might have missed if he wasn’t studying his older brother’s face with intense curiosity.

 “And exactly what did you expect to hear or see from me with that information.”

 “Whatever you just did and might I add, I am quite satisfied with it. As a bonus, I have rekindled, if you will, with her and you might just get the chance to do so if you, I don’t know, owe me.”

 “Nothing of that sort will happen. If that was all you wanted to say then get out. I am very busy.”

 Having been slightly sated, Sherlock left, albeit with a smug on his face.

 Finally alone with silence, Mycroft dived right back into urgent matters; except he was distracted by the simple two words his brother had left him with. Giving in to his mind, he retracts from his desk, leaned into his recliner chair and cranes his head for a stretch before closing his eyes.

 He hadn’t expected much from you in the beginning, not because he was looking down on you specifically but because everyone around him was less than ideal. It was a pleasant surprise when he saw how efficiently you worked and how sometimes you were already on it when he thought of a scenario that needed checking. You were intelligent, hardworking and most importantly, compatible. You were someone that managed to change his mind when it came to caring.

 Mycroft appreciated the fact that both of you worked a lot. Your job required a lot of your time and so did his. With that, you were able to understand when either of you had to change plans when something cropped up. Each time one of you had to cancel, the two of you would end up exchanging texts whenever. He wasn’t one to prolong a conversation, especially via text but with you, he did not mind. He looked forward to your messages. You would send pictures of your meals, scenery and occasionally yourself and it always puts a smile on his face. Often you would chastise him for skipping his meals, citing the importance of it.

 The amount of care you put into meals was something he appreciated as well, you knew that Sherlock liked to make fun of him that way and yet it was something you always said you loved.

 However, Mycroft didn’t know what went wrong. No, he knew but he realised too late. Previously, he always sent gifts, called and messaged with the promise of a better date next time but as time went on, he got busier. For some time, the government had somehow managed to screw over its management and he couldn’t rely on anyone else if he wanted it to be done perfectly. Thus resulting in him spending much of his time in the office.

 He could only relax when he came home and found you in his bed or sofa, sleeping soundly. All the tension leaves his shoulders whenever his eyes lay upon you.

 On one of the rare days where he could go home early, you weren’t home; he wanted to surprise you but was soon met with a call about something needing his urgent attention. Having his mood soured, he turned to his study thinking that if he finished it quick enough, he could still salvage some time with you.

 But apparently, you had a different plan. While nearing the end of completion, you knocked on his door, asking him to talk. Mycroft wanted to quickly finish since he was so close and thus just gave a hum. He didn’t know what you wanted but it wasn’t what happened next.

 Being prompted to look at you, he did. He wanted to tell you that a few more minutes were all he needed and then you’d have him but all words were lost when he locked eyes with you. Your eyes were void of the tenderness you had when you looked at him instead it was filled with sadness and on the brink of exhaustion. How long has it been since he had looked into your eyes to have not noticed it?

 Not knowing how to react, he did not register anything that you had said in the first part and simply just looked at you. Thought about what he had done wrong and what he could do to mend it. He only snapped out of it when he realised you had stopped talking, sensing an urgency he tried to find some words but that was when your mouth said the one thing he didn’t want to hear. That you wanted to end it. Your lips that had always said sweet nothings to him were now bringing him his demise. Nothing that he prepared could’ve prepared him for this.

 Trying to find a reason to not let it happen, he scrambled for words but was then met with a ringing phone. He knew he shouldn’t answer it, but he thought that it might as least give him some time to work things out. Work out what to say, what had gone wrong and to correct it. He didn’t know that your face, full of exhaustion, would be the last thing he saw when picking up the phone. The call lasted for hours. When the moon was shining the brightest was when he was finally done. Trying to reorganise his thoughts, he closed his eyes but ended up falling asleep only to wake when the sun was rising.

 Hours had passed, and he tried to find you in his home but you were nowhere to be found. Mycroft reasoned that you might have already gone to work and decided to come back early that day to straighten things out but you never came back. Not that day, not any other day. He checked the cameras near your place, workplace and even Sherlock’s but you were nowhere to be found.

 Reasoning that you were smart enough to avoid cameras, he paid a visit to your flat only to find out that the tenant had changed. Neither the landlord nor the current tenant knew where you moved. Your workplace did not either. He checked the airport and found out that you had booked a flight to the United States, but he knew it was useless. He knew that you knew that he was capable of finding out this much and you did. You bought the tickets directly at the airport and had most likely done the same when you arrived. You would have taken multiple flights just to throw him off and you did because no matter how much he tried. He just couldn’t find you.

 It had been days since you left and yet time still carried on. He was no longer able to push aside the issues at work and soon decided to drown in them to avoid thinking of you. He didn’t want to think of you. You were not in an area where he could protect you, and neither could he see you.

 He did tell people to keep a look out if you had entered London but he wasn’t notified. He chalked it up to the usual incompetency especially since it has been 5 years too long. So when his dear brother told him that you were back, he was relieved and had a yearning to see you.

 However, now that he knew you were safe, he did not want to look at you through the cameras, nor did he want to find out about you through papers and data. He wasn’t able to do so for the past 5 years and he did not want to do it now. He wanted to experience you with all his senses, to hear your voice, to smell the fragrance that gets left behind when you walk and to take in the sight of you after 5 years. Whether your skin remained the same tone, whether you changed the way you dressed, or whether you changed the way you smiled. He wanted to know if you have changed into a different person while he remained the same. What was the worst that could happen after seeing you for the first time in years?______________________________________________________________

Mycroft is a very capable, an understatement, man, who can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He can make his thoughts into reality, but as he was formulating a way to meet you, without arousing suspicion, he was presented an opportunity on a platter.

link to ao3. 

#mycroft x reader #mycroft holmes x reader #mycroft bbc #Mycroft Holmes

[emailencryption]

Save Your Team Valuable Time by Leveraging Email Signatures

RMail’s security features connect elegantly inside your existing email programs and business systems.

By now, you’ve heard “Happy New Year” perhaps hundreds, maybe thousands of times. (We’re as guilty of this as anyone with some of our recent posts and emails 😉).

Have you ever considered the amount of time collectively the world spends during the first 10 days of January typing in emails, “Happy New Year!”? It seems one’s first email to a colleague needs this New Year’s email etiquette. Now, you may be thinking I’m turning into some kind of New Year’s Scrooge, but hear me out…

Since we’re sending this a few days after the new year, you may not need this tip for 2023 per se, but maybe you can use it for the year after and beyond. So here it is: consider suggesting to your staff and colleagues that they edit their email signature to include only for the first 10 days of the year a new year’s remark, “Happy New Year! We’re looking forward to a great year working together!” or something similar. This will save your team’s time, as they won’t all individually be writing New Year’s greetings for each individual email. And, for the single-finger typists, this can save a lot of keyboard finger pounding. (Note, your “email signature” is the text you set to auto-populate in your newly composed email, different from an eSignature).

But if this tip doesn’t hit the mark, we’ve got another time saving typing eliminating tip for you. Within RMail for Outlook, you can create a rule that automates the sending of encrypted email to your selected recipient domains (e.g., your clients or professional advisors). Or, with RMail Gateway, you can automate email sending based on message content — and now even attachment content. RMail’s security features provide the best user experience, and our prices make us the most affordable. Plus, our services connect elegantly inside your existing email programs and business systems.

But heck, now we’re hearing that with RMail’s Email Eavesdropping alerts combined with RMail’s elegantly easy encryption for recipients, law firms, title insurance, and other financial firms are simply saying, ‘route ALL of our internet outbound email via RMail for security.’ And who could blame them? It’s an affordable and efficient solution — kind of like changing your email signature to include a Happy New Year remark. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

We do hope you enjoy these tech tips, and we’ll keep them coming in 2023. As always, feel free to contact us to discuss how RMail should be in your tech toolbox for 2023 (if it isn’t already).

[guerrero49goode]

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[joontier]

mercedes midnight runs | drabble 

synopsis: ur thirsting over jk driving you around in a mercedes

pairings: jungkook x reader

rating: R

genre: smut, angst | warnings: pwp basically (the thirst is real and unquenchable) with lidol angst ; swearing ; degradation ; car sex (pls dont do this while driving fjlaksas)

word count: 2.1k

g/n: this is the first installment for my ‘between the lines’ collection! ackkk ive been wanting to do this for so long because ive always thirsted over the boys driving and imagining jk driving his mercedes around seoul is just,,,,, eye ---- btw, this is heavily unedited nhnghgnhgn i just had to share the thirst with yall real quick 

between the lines navi. |  navi. | m.list

You’ve already planned out a quiet night to yourself tonight to rest and get your mind off of things, but all of a sudden, just as you were about to settle in bed, Jungkook sends you a text, telling you to get ready in half an hour because he’s going to pick you up and take you out somewhere. 

It isn't new news anymore that he’s texting you at this hour because he’s only permitted to go out after his schedules, which usually also end late at night. Superstar problems, can’t relate. 

Well, that and because your relationship with him warrants these types of late night meet-ups. It’s that type of arrangement you’d never thought you’d agree to, but eventually, learned to cope with. Your phone pings - a new message.

[🕺] 12:45AM

im out front

When you exit your apartment, you see an unfamiliar silver car parked in front of the building, you back up the stairs, wary of who might be inside the mysterious vehicle. The window rolls down halfway, and you see Jungkook takes a peek through the small space. 

Going back down the steps, you quickly climb inside the vehicle. “New car?” 

“Yeah, you like it?” 

You hum in agreement, tracing a hand along the sleek design of the dashboard. “It’s very...you,” you remark, in awe at how this new Benz fits Jungkook so well. “C’mere,” Jungkook tugs at your elbow, closing the distance between the two of you. “Fuck, you don’t know how much I missed you.” He presses his lightly chapped lips against yours, nipping gently at your bottom lip. Abruptly, you pull away, worried. 

“Kook...what if someone sees?” 

“I got the windows tinted. I got this car for us.” His words resonate throughout the car, and you're afraid he might hear your heart thudding strongly in your chest. You choose to ignore the implications of his words, focusing on his presence and not your treacherous thoughts. 

You give him a chaste kiss on his cheek in reply, sending a smile in his direction. You hope he doesn't see your real emotions swimming in your eyes. “Where are we escaping off to tonight?”  Internally cringing at your careless choice of words, you take off your hoodie and place it at the backseat, along with your purse, all the while giving him a generous display of your cleavage as a distraction.

Jungkook’s tongue darts out to moisten his lips. “I’m having second thoughts now, if we should really leave or not,” he says, unabashedly staring at your chest, eyeing your nipples, pert against the fabric of your low-cut top. “No bra?” 

“You told me you’d be here in twenty minutes, so I had to hurry….” 

“Wearing a bra takes you twenty minutes now?” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head at your lame excuse. 

“Yup, especially when all I could think about is having you take them off. So be grateful, because I’m doing you a favor.” You give him a wink, giggling when he huffs and starts the car. You’ve outwitted him once more. Silently, deep within the recesses of your brain, you wish you had the same amount of control you had over your words with your heart, especially when you’re around Jungkook. 

Connecting your phone to the car’s music player via bluetooth, you scroll through your recents and pick on your favorite playlist when you’re with Jungkook. ‘Sexy Can I’ by Ray J and Yung Berg comes first on shuffle. 

“That sounds like a very promising playlist.” 

Your conversation slowly lulls into silence, the two of you seated there quietly as you feel the enhanced bass reverberate throughout the new car. Leaning against the headrest, you glimpse at the man beside you, studying his features. 

Sometimes you find it funny how never in a million years did you even dream of being this close to the Euphoria crooner. If it wasn’t for your cousin Eunkyung - an idol who debuted the same year as Jungkook did, who’s likewise a very good friend of the latter, then you don't think you would even come close to breathing the same air as the global sensation beside you. 

Judging by the movement of Jungkook’s lips, you reckon he’s been speaking to you for the last five minutes, but you definitely have not processed a single word from him, for all you care. You couldn't blame yourself though, and Jungkook is certainly the one who is to take responsibility for your momentary preoccupation.

“You okay babe?” 

“Mhmmhm” 

If you were going to be completely honest, you were far from okay. Besides the many thoughts swirling inside your head, your trusty menstrual cycle tracker app is telling you that you’re bound to welcome your monthly visitor in a week - which means you’re PMSing - which further means you’re only in one certain state of mind - you’re insatiably horny. 

Unfortunately for you, Jungkook is absolutely no help at all. Not when he constantly looks like sex personified - muscular thighs, veiny arms, the whole package. Plus, there’s something about Jungkook behind the wheel that’s ultimately driving you crazy. 

A major part of it is your hormones for sure, but then again, even your hormones are thirsting over Jungkook driving, veiny forearms on display as he grips the wheel, or the way he backs up with only one hand on the steering wheel, or the way he sometimes keep a hand on your thigh as he drives. The formula is clear: Jeon Jungkook will be the cause of your insanity.

Jungkook pulls up the sleeves of his Carhartt sweater, revealing his nearing full-sleeve-tattooed right arm. The sight instantly makes you water, or wetter. Whichever the case may be. 

You hadn’t seen him in a week, busy working on his mixtape, amongst other stuff. And you miss him terribly, sex with him included. As desperate and slutty that sounds, Jungkook is that type of person that leaves you wanting, yearning for more. 

“What’s going on then?” 

“If this is about Eunkyung…you know we already talked about that…”

“I don’t wanna talk about that, Jungkook.” 

“What’s wrong then?” 

You don’t answer, just silently watching the muscles on his forearm ripple as he pulls on the hand brake when you get to an intersection. You gulp, looking away as you push your thighs together, hoping that somehow the friction will help the desire pooling between your legs. The action doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, whose eyes instantly  darken, now all too aware of your state. 

“Tell me what’s wrong baby girl.” 

Your resolve nearly breaks at the pet name, looking out the window to avoid his gaze. The light turns green again, and as he continues to drive, he rests a hand on your exposed thigh, strategically placing it just in the middle, the action gentle, yet enough to add fuel to your frustration. 

His tattooed fingers gingerly trace patterns on your bare thigh. Fuck Jungkook and his thing for skirts. You weren't one to complain about his sexual fantasies though, not when wearing the skirts he buys for you gets you a good fucking afterwards. 

You stay quiet in your seat, not giving the satisfaction that Jungkook gets knowing that he’s getting you all riled up. Two can play at this game. 

Gingerly, you place a hand on top of his, gently guiding his hand north towards your core. The man driving beside you lets out a cough, sitting up straighter. Keeping his hand sliding up until he’s fully cupping your core, Jungkook chokes on thin air as he realizes you’re not wearing panties either. 

“Let me guess, wearing underwear is too mainstream?” 

Shrugging, you spread your legs wider, guiding his fingers to slide against your already glistening folds. A shot of electricity runs through your spine. “Fuck, baby girl, you’ll be the death of me,” Jungkook growls, taking a sharp intake of breath as he teases you, shallowly dipping a digit through your wet cunt. 

“You’re fucking soaked. You seem to enjoy the thought, princess. Christening my car seats like the slut that you are?” He drawls, this time fully pushing a finger in as you get to another stoplight. 

“Jungkook, don’t tease me like that baby.” Biting your lip to stop the moan that’s threatening to spill, your own hand reaches out to grab at Jungkook crotch. He hisses at the sensation. You smirk to yourself. Seems like you’re not the only one who’s greatly affected. 

Encouraged by Jungkook’s reaction, you slip a hand through the waistband of his sweats, taking hold of his already hard cock. “And you’re surprised I don’t wear underwear? Bit rich coming from you now isn’t it?” 

“Better watch your mouth and stop teasing me, baby girl. You might just get punished for that.” 

“And what if I want to get punished?”

Jungkook huffs, pulling out his finger as the light turns orange. He brings his slick-covered finger to your lips, “Suck,” he orders. You oblige, sucking on his slender digit and swirling a tongue around it. 

“You’re in for a fucking treat, naughty girl.” 

It’s green again. With a sigh, Jungkook gets back to driving, this time religiously looking for a discreet place to stop over so he can fuck you properly. He finally finds a filling station, now driving with newly found urgency. 

He parks in one secluded corner of the station, with just a singular parking space separating you from a parked truck, the driver snoring away happily. 

The tension is thick in the air, inevitably making you feel hot even with the air conditioning on full blast. With no words needed to get the message across, you both unbuckle your seatbelts hastily, finding each other in a heated kiss shortly after. 

Making another grab at Jungkook’s dick - outlining against the confines of his Puma sweats, you urge him to pull them down to his thighs so you can have a taste of your alleged ‘treat’. Likewise, he orders you to lift your skirt up, giving him easier access to have you writing on his fingers alone. 

Scooting closer, you bend over the center console, taking Jungkook’s length in your hands. You place a tentative kiss on the tip before diving in, taking his cock inside your mouth. Jungkook lets out a guttural groan at the sensation, taking your hair into his hands, forming a makeshift ponytail on your head. 

“You’re so fucking hot, you know that right?” His head throws back as you take him to the hilt, the tip hitting the back of your throat. At his compliment, you swallow and as you watch Jungkook visibly shudder, you give yourself a mental pat on the back. 

As you continue to bob up and down Jungkook’s length, your hand travels between your legs, fingers easily finding your nether bud. With Jungkook starting to buck his hips upwards, helping you with your task, you quicken the pace of the fingers toying with your clit. You’re so close, but you’re doubtful you’ll even get to orgasm, considering your perched precariously over the console - definitely an uncomfortable position for you to orgasm in. 

Jungkook senses your discomfort and tells you to sit down, and you’ll both do this together. As soon as you get seated, you scoot closer to the middle, when Jungkook’s hand extends to return its attention to your dripping cunt. You give Jungkook’s erection stands tall, likewise calling for attention. Heeding to its silent call, you wrap your fingers around his shaft, stroking his length languidly. 

For a full minute, you both stay like that, trying to get each other to orgasm. Jungkook’s breathing gets labored by the second - the tell-tale signs he’s getting close. As your hand momentarily leaves his dick to massage his balls, his phone blares, startling you both out of your wits. 

Letting out an annoyed huff, he grabs the phone and switches mute button down then thrusting the device somewhere on the dashboard. Pretending as if nothing happened, you continue your handjob until Jungkook can’t take it any longer, pulling you up from your seat and telling you to come and sit on his lap. 

As soon as Jungkook pushes his seat back, you crawl over to his side, unceremoniously sitting on his lap, gyrating your hips as you slide your wet folds against the muscular expanse  of his thigh. You’re almost there, Jungkook taking your breasts in his hands for more stimulation - that is until his phone vibrates loudly against the surface of the dashboard. 

“You should probably get that,” you pull away, retreating to your seat: cockblocked for the second time. You check the dashboard for his phone, and get a glimpse of the caller’s ID on his screen. Eunkyung. 

You place the device into Jungkook’s hands yourself. 

“It’s your girlfriend calling.”

© hhyungz 2020. All rights reserved.

#bts smut #bangtanhq #btsguild #ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #btsgoldnet #btsghostie #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #bts drabbles

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Finding Courage

Written for the Kidge Spring Event! 

Prompt 6: Edelweiss | Courage, Devotion

Summary: AU - Canon Divergence. Five years after the end of the war, Pidge finds herself wanting to go back out and see the universe with her own eyes. Luckily, she knows someone who can help with that, but only if she can find the courage to ask.

Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune

❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀ - ❀

The time had come.

Pidge looked in the mirror as she ran her hands down the sides of her shirt, trying to smooth out the few wrinkles that had accumulated. She wanted to look nice, but not too nice. Lance and Hunk would notice if she was trying too hard and they would poke and prod until they were satisfied with the answer she gave, and that wasn't something she really wanted to deal with. (Shiro was likely to notice as well but at least he would be polite enough to keep it to himself.)  

Which was why she'd selected a pair of jeans, her signature green shirt (at least according to Lance), and her nicer lab coat that didn't have oil stains all over it. And while for most of their Team Voltron get-togethers she would forgo the lab coat for something nicer, she had plans to drop by the hangar where Project Lionheart was in the works to grab a few things from the lab she shared with Matt.

Text appeared at the bottom of her glasses.

Matt: I leave in 10 minutes if you want a ride.

Pidge pressed her finger to the right side of her frames. “Send message: I'll be down soon.”

Her new glasses were a labor of love that were nearly five years in the making. She'd spent countless nights trying to link it to her computer and then to get the voice recognition to work and then to devise a lightweight battery that would both hold a charge for a minimum of twelve hours while also having the capability of being wirelessly recharged. She'd wrangled Matt and Hunk into helping her, which sometimes involved 2 am conversations when she couldn't sleep because an idea wouldn't leave her alone, but she needed someone's brain to pick and see if she was crazy or on the right track.

She still had a hundred new ideas to try out for it, but for the moment it was the perfect way for her family to contact her when she was eyeballs deep in some new project. (Not to mention, it was also remarkably helpful in displaying measurements and any other schematics when she needed them.)

Pidge slung her bag containing her laptop over her shoulder and then headed downstairs to join Matt and tell her parents they were headed out.

Colleen pulled her in for a tight hug, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “I'm so proud of you!”

“Mom, I haven't even asked him yet,” Pidge complained, her voice muffled against her mom's shirt.

“Oh, please, like he's going to say 'no'?” Matt remarked from the doorway. He grinned at the glare his sister cast in his direction. “I'm just saying that I talk to Shiro a lot. And you know who else talks to Shiro? Keith does. Trust me, he'll be tripping over himself to agree to let you join him.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. The very idea of Keith being anything other than composed and unshakable by something she had to say was silly. Maybe it would have been different when they were younger and just starting out as Team Voltron, but not after all of their experiences during the war and throughout Reconstruction.

“You're all getting way ahead of yourselves,” Pidge said as she extricated herself from her mom's arms. “And making way too big of a deal out of this. All I'm doing is asking if I can go with him and help with the Outreach Program.”

With Kolivan serving as the interim Emperor of the Galra until he either stepped down or Reconstruction reached its ten-year mark, it had fallen on Krolia to lead the weakened, but not fully depleted, Blade of Marmora. She split the Blade into two separate but equal groups – one to continue their undercover work and root out any insurgents before they could cause too much trouble and the other a much more public branch dedicated to reaching out to affected planets and offering aid in whatever way they could.

Pidge, who felt like she was stagnating by staying on Earth and doing the same thing day in and day out, thought that going back out and seeing the universe with her own eyes was exactly what she needed. And sure, she could ask Hunk if she could tag along with his crew and he would gladly welcome her on board, but she wasn't sure she'd really find what she was looking for on a ship devoted to the culinary arts of the universe. Pidge had thought about it for a long time and, in the end, came to the conclusion that asking Keith was the way to go.

That was months ago and she'd seen him twice since then. She'd chickened out both of those times.

Because maybe she had a second motive for wanting to go with him. Something beyond wanting to explore the universe and even more of a... personal desire.

“Leaving already?” Sam asked, poking his head into the entrance hall.

Matt nodded. “Yeah, I have a few things to check on in the lab and Pidge wants to get to her meeting on time, so I figured we should head out.”

Pidge and Matt wrapped up their goodbyes and then set off to the Galaxy Garrison, where Matt dropped her off close to the Voltron Memorial before continuing on his way to the parking garage. Pidge watched him leave before she began making her way up the gleaming white stairs, which led to the top of a hill where a massive stone sculpture of Voltron stood watching over the land.

Normally the area was crawling with tourists, but once a year it was reserved for a group of 7 as they celebrated the day they first met.

As Pidge reached the top of the steps, she saw most of her friends were already there and seated at a round patio table. Shiro was smiling as he listened to whatever story Lance was enthusiastically telling, while Hunk leaned back and occasionally interjected.  Lance paused his story as she approached.

“You're on time!”

“Like you haven't been late a time or two,” Pidge shot defensively shot back. Seriously, she was late once or twice (or a lot) because she got wrapped up in something she was working for and the man would never let her forget it.

Lance grinned at her. “I was just telling Shiro and Hunk about the time you came out to visit the farm.”

“A memory I'd rather forget,” Pidge said with a wince. She sat down between Hunk and Shiro and gently set her bag down on the floor at her feet. “Where's everyone else? I figured Allura and Coran would have come with you, Lance.”

“Dropping the twins off with Romelle. She agreed to babysit,” Lance responded.

“Even after last time? Brave woman,” Hunk joked.

Pidge couldn't help but smile. The twins were Lance and Allura's 3-year-old children, Alfor and Maribel, and were a handful even for the most experienced and patient people. Romelle was practically a saint for being able to watch them on her own and Pidge wished she could know how she did it. (Maybe then she wouldn't end up covered in mud or running from bees or locked in the attic, all of which had happened during her first and last visit to the farm and was undoubtedly the story Lance was telling when she walked up.)

“You could have brought them along. I would love to see Alfor and Maribel again,” Shiro said.

Lance shook his head. “No, trust me. This is the better option. If we take our eyes off of them for even a second they'll have climbed to the top of the Voltron statue. Somehow. And good luck getting them down.”

Shiro made a sound to indicate his disbelief. “They're not that bad.”

“Yes, they are,” Lance and Pidge deadpanned in unison.

And honestly, they were sweet kids, but the amount of trouble they could get into was staggering and, in some ways, only reinforced Pidge's feelings that she never wanted to have any of her own.

Lance soon launched into a series of stories of the more interesting antics of the twins, which Allura and Coran backed up once they arrived. Pidge found herself laughing over some of the ones she hadn't heard before and because of that, she completely missed Keith's arrival via one very special cosmic wolf. He easily inserted himself into the conversation as he took a seat between Shiro and Coran – directly across from Pidge – and it was like he'd been there the whole time.

They soon branched off from stories about the twins so everyone could describe what they'd been up to since the last time all seven of them were together.

Lance and Allura, of course, had the kids and their farm on New Altea, which they ran with the help of Lance's family. In the beginning, Allura tried to split her time between them and trying to rule as Queen, but it eventually became too much and she turned to Coran for help, who suggested a council of trusted individuals to run the day-to-day duties that were necessary for the new planet to flourish. No one was surprised when he was elected Head Chancellor of the Council.

Even once things calmed down, Shiro retained his role as Captain of the Atlas, if only for the fact that he was the only one the ship responded to. The big, bulky ship didn't have much use outside of exploration and assisting with Reconstruction (sometimes by providing extra muscle for goods, sometimes just for transporting more sensitive or bulky materials), but Shiro spoke of his job and crew with pride. He even mentioned that he started seeing someone, though he wouldn't say who.

(“It's still new to both of us,” he said in response to Lance's begging. “We want to wait and see where things go before we start telling everyone.”)

Hunk had a myriad of new stories about all of the new recipes he created, as well as some of his worst failures. He had them all laughing so hard that it brought tears to their eyes at some of his descriptions. He then spoke of future plans and how he was looking to hire more chefs to help with the increased demand for their food before turning the conversation over to Keith.

“There isn't much to say,” Keith said with a shrug. “It's not like anything has changed since the last time we talked. You all know what I've been doing.”

“Are you really going to sit there and say that nothing interesting has happened to you? You're traveling with Zethrid and Ezor and yet you have no stories?” Lance asked incredulously. “Nope. I don't believe it.”

“You don't have to believe it, but it's true.”

Some things never change.

Pidge tried not to laugh as the two bickered. They only stopped because Shiro stepped in to put an end to it and then it was her turn to gloss over what she'd been working on. Project Lionheart was largely still a secret, though they'd be ready to announce its existence in a few months.

Hours bled together as the seven friends sat and talked and laughed together. Eventually, the sun began to set and Allura and Lance stood to say their goodbyes and go collect the twins from Romelle. Shiro followed soon after, giving the excuse that he had a “hot date” to get ready for, and then Coran and Hunk left together, talking about food supply and whether or not Hunk was willing to make a stop by New Altea during his next round trip.

That left Pidge with Keith.

Alone.

With no one else around to watch her make a fool of herself.

“Are you alright?” Keith asked.

Pidge jerked her head up to stare at him with wide eyes. “Y-yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I be? Everything's great!”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “You've been more quiet than usual.”

Pidge opened her mouth to protest and then immediately shut it. He wasn't wrong. She'd spent most of the afternoon trying not to blurt out her question in the middle of someone else talking and she was dying to get it over with. Finally, they were alone and it was the perfect chance, but everything she wanted to say had suddenly fled her mind.

It was ridiculous!

Keith was her friend!

Her rather handsome friend who she'd developed a large crush on, but her friend nevertheless. Talking to him was easy. She just needed to keep it simple.

“I was wondering... If I asked to go with you the next time you head out, what would you say?”

She watched as Keith sucked in a breath as her words registered in his mind, his eyes widening slightly, and then...

“I'd say that I'd be lucky to have you by my side. You're welcome to come along whenever you'd like.”

#voltron #kidge #kidgemas #kidge spring event 2021 #fanfiction #canon divergence

[alaskatalks]

Abuse in the Youtube Vlogging Community — My Experiences

Note 07/07/2021: My original posting was removed by unknown so this will now live here. Please be aware of the content warnings.

Apr 26·14 min read

2012–2018

CW Mention of; Suicide, Assault, Blood, Rape, Deceased Person(s)/‘Suicide Forest Video’

I’m writing this statement to not only provide background on the toxic and abusive culture of the community at the time but to support the multiple other people who have recently come forward detailing abuse from within the UK vlogging Youtube community, and to finally talk about these incidents publicly after carrying them for so long alone.

As I am writing this, one of those mentioned has contacted several mutual acquaintances to stop me from sharing my own story to those people privately,then when they and I didn’t, this person quickly began to smear my name. Because of this I want to begin with some basic background and thoughts which will be most likely be used/twisted in the coming days/weeks by those I mention.

I will only be discussing physically abusive events I was personally privy to but to keep this specific I will be omitting the many micro and macro-aggressions I experienced as usually the only black mixed/non-white and working-class individual in the room/group. It was clear to me quickly that if you were an “other” in certain ways, you’d be open to mockery, namely also if you were working class or lacking financially, I’d heard Chris repeatedly make remarks and mean comments behind the backs of his own guests/friends at various events and parties in his own home in addition to others making similar comments. Because I appeared white passing that time especially; I made my heritage/ethnicity explicitly clear when it first began as a failed attempt to minimize racial remarks around me and then from then on, kept my private life private from many in the group. I learned quickly to ignore a lot directed at me — as I was younger and possessed no media industry contacts or clout/followers at the time, I had to accept my place in this kind of mostly elitist clique/working environment as the only way to continue working with the people I looked up to.

I met everyone personally and got into the community when I was 16/17 after being a fan for many years, contacting CB via post and then emailing him, I wanted to get into television eventually and thought working with YouTube vloggers I looked up to would be a great first step in that direction. Everything detailed below I had previously tried to discuss with those involved privately, but was unsupported and thrown away both professionally and personally.

Rachel

I want to talk briefly about Rachel as I was around just before she joined the general group so was witness to a lot of things. I have spoken to Rachel privately but want to share the frustration and bitterness I feel and felt publicly. Please read her statement via twitter for their story. (In addition to addressing the dangerously hypercritical individuals I have seen crawling out of the woodwork to send her empty public displays of ‘support’ whilst in the past they contributed heavily to the environment which fostered abuse or carried it out themselves.)

The first few times I met Rachel it was at different pubs, and so I had always assumed that she was at least 18 on joining the general group, I was also told (unprompted) about her familial connections within the media/television industry — something that I now believe contributed to many of the youtubers mentioned overlooking basic welfare issues and red flags, and instead thinking of furthering their careers. I spent close to a year trying to help as I could see certain red flags in her ‘relationship’ with JSL, him struggling very heavily and publicly with alcoholism at the time, and Rachel seemingly struggling also. I made my concerns known repeatedly because I was worried, having myself suffered from various abuse from a young age I instinctively wanted to help.

However, close friends of Rachel herself and others, namely Bown, sent me the repeated and clear message that I was “in the way”, this was a message Bown kept telling me once he was living with JSL, who I had begun seeing months prior to Rachel meeting him. I was told by them that my concern was only jealousy and experienced an abundance of side eyes, verbal abuse, bad mouthing, and gossip — I was just a ‘jealous bitch’ in many eyes. (This all despite me being polyamorous with my primary partner from before dating JSL to this current day) I continued to help Rachel whenever I saw her in person before ending things with JSL and distancing myself because not only was I incredibly uncomfortable dating someone who was in a unhealthy situation, but I was very selfishly fed up receiving so much hate when I did speak my mind on the subject. In hindsight, especially after finding out recently that Bown was aware of Rachel’s age, I wish I’d have stuck around.

Rachel is incredible and I hope the following can contribute in some way to validating all those who were victimized by these same people in addition to others with similar stories. For Rachel’s full statement please read it on her Twitter in its entirety @rachelkiki_

MT

Beginning with MT, I had been a huge fan of The Man Time Podcast and The Fratocrats for years before so on meeting him at a party for the first time at C.B’s place, I was excited to talk to him, however, as soon as he found out I had a partner (literally the first thing he asked/said to me after hello) he walked away from me and didn’t interact with me in any way for the rest of the party. A few months later when I was single we slept together for the first time, halfway through he held my wrists down suddenly and just as I thought he was going to kiss me he instead spat in my mouth. I did not ask for, nor want this and reacted as negatively as you’d expect, then feeling incredibly uncomfortable made some excuses and tried to stop things physically.

It was a little while later I found out that he had spoken to a group of very popular youtubers, one of whom was Tom. I found out that not only did MT “report back” to these youtubers detailing a story about how we had had sex and I was in fact, horrendous at it, but hearing about it from C.B. in the form of the question whilst he smiled jokingly “Is this true?” was not only super inappropriate but humiliating.

These were people I had looked up to for years and really wanted to work within the future, but now that seemed like it wouldn’t happen, especially if I ‘made a fuss’. MT wanted to meet up with me at a later point (once I’d confronted him repeatedly afterwards) though when we met it was clear he just wanted to have more sex and the half assed ‘apology’ was more tokenistic. He was sorry “If” anything he did upset me. Because of my own previous trauma (and low self-esteem admittedly) I thought the only way to redeem my reputation would be to continue to see him — I thought if others knew or saw us flirting casually even, it would negate his rumors. This obviously didn’t help and the damage had been done.

Tom*

Shortly after that, whilst on a work trip with CB and others, Tom approached me at a bar and asked me for a photo, I thought it was odd but perhaps he was just being friendly. I was a big fan of Eddsworld so I was okay with it, he took a photo of us both, making sure I smiled and then sent it to MT who was sitting a few tables away in our group as a further way to humiliate me. I spoke about it with some of the others privately after being laughed at, who seemed used to that kind of behavior. I just needed to get used to it and/or “lighten up” so I tried to remain professional and focused, though it seemed more and more like certain people viewed me as disposable entertainment almost, rather than a person.

*I do want to note, as of writing this today, Tom is the only person to reach out to genuinely apologise, which I highly appreciate.

Bown

I could fill multiple pages with the amount of racial charged, sexist and abusive things Bown has done and/or said to me, for example, he berated me the day I got my first big television job, calling me stupid, useless and implying I was only hired because of my ethnicity. He almost always sent his hate via text or instant messaging, I mention that because he commonly expressed all his negativity behind a screen, then in person, he would do a lot of gaslighting. When drunk at his worst, his understanding of the word no became non-existent when I would repeatedly ask not to be touched or requested space.

On one occasion when I had made clear it was a platonic hang, we were watching a film when he suddenly reached over and pressed his fingers into my breasts. I felt instantly violated, I froze for a few seconds and then pulled my shirt up to cover more of my chest/create a visual barrier. I said don’t/stop and continued watching the film. In shock — we weren’t even touching or hugging before- that but he nonetheless did it again and laughed as if it was some kind of game. I made it very clear I was not interested and did not like what he had done. This repeated when he was drunk and said he wanted to apologise, it was at a party which wasn’t the time nor place for that kind of conversation, then, with me saying so then no multiple times, he kept grabbing my waist, then arms and shoulders, refusing to give me the space I was requesting.

CB

There was a lot of disrespect and ugliness I experienced from my first experience ‘working’ (unpaid at first and then at or under minimum wage afterwards) to present but again, I’m only discussing the physical stuff. The first physical time he hurt me was when on tour sharing a room (due to a lack of space as we were out of London) I was sharing with JSL on the floor and Bing had the bed alone. I was awoken in the early hours of the morning to a small piece of metal (which turned out to be a zip as I recall) from a pillow, hitting me hard. I was confused and so thought it was an accident — I assumed the pillow had fallen off the bed by mistake so reached over and put it back on Bing’s bed before going back to sleep. I was then awoken repeatedly by Bing’s hand hitting me in my face hard and repeatedly, though I tried to turn around with my back to him, I then experienced the same but on the back of my head, and my hair being pulled. He had thought the very loud snoring which was waking him up was me, but it was in fact JSL (most who have lived with him or slept in close corners knows he can be a snorer) the next morning I woke having a panic attack which I dealt with before asking him why he did that as it really hurt, he replied that I was snoring but when I told him of the mistake he just looked at me funnily and that was that. No apology ever appeared.

The worst experience I had with him was at his house during a party; it was winding down and I could sense him rushing people out the room in a hushed tone; I was looking at his bookcase, filled with cd’s at the time. On hearing the hushed tones I could sense something was wrong/odd and looked around to find myself suddenly alone in his room. I said a quick sorry, that I didn’t realise and will go join everyone else upstairs if he wants to sleep, he said it was no problem and I should have a drink before bed with him. I was content looking at the cds and before I could answer he brought me a cup and poured out a drink for me (clearly over pouring). I had just eyed a specific CD from my all-time favourite band (they were very niche at the time) and exclaimed in joy before showing it to him, he responded that a fan had sent it to him, I laughed because I was that fan, I had included the CD in a fan letter I sent to him years back. He was giving me a really odd look and then as I said ‘anyway,’ laughing in that british ‘I should get going’ kind of way.

He grabbed the CD before putting it on and pulling me towards the bed. We were sitting side by side and as soon as he grabbed me towards the bed I gave a nervous laugh saying something along the lines of ‘no, I don’t’ when he interrupted me to say it’s all fine, just one song and I need to drink, pushing my cup up which I’d been holding with both hands motionlessly since he gave it to me. As soon as I took a sip, he put his hand on my waist, I kept protesting as he pushed more towards then against me and repeated things like “It’s no big deal” and “It will be fast” ignoring my physical resistance and me audibly saying I did not want to. He placed his hand on mine and pulled it towards his groin area — this was when I finally stopped freezing and pulled away forcibly, I then sat up off the bed and made a beeline for the door — apologizing as I went. As soon as I was on the other side of the door I burst out crying and having a severe panic attack, I muffled the noise and went upstairs where I knew others were sleeping before I couldn’t keep quiet. I cannot remember who else was upstairs but there were multiple people (at least 5) sleeping in various places, I woke up quite a few before being calmed down and going to sleep. He hired me one last time after that as a producer.

H H S

H.H.S is the long time editor of the Paul brothers, he’s worked with many large youtubers and was one of (if not the main) editor of now notorious Logan Paul’s “Suicide Forest Video”,– the following happened around that time for context and is one of the biggest catalysts in my completely giving up on working within the YouTube vlogging sphere. H.H.S had been lightly dragged on his Facebook by friends on a post where he apologized for the Logan Paul video he responded with a fundraiser event post (both this, and the fundraiser have since been deleted) the fundraiser itself was to a suicide prevention charity, although he created it, he hadn’t and didn’t invite anyone directly to it — in hindsight, it’s clear it was just lazy personal pr. I had my own mental health and neurological episode and had attempted to take my own life a little before, so I had created an event with friends to celebrate being alive and beginning new/better things. Not many could come on short notice, though H.H.S was the first (and only) person to click ‘attending’ on the event page, which he did very quickly once I sent out invites.

He never was overly kind or supportive emotionally, so I thought that because of the amount of mutual colleagues, close friends and vloggers invited he would look very crass not to come. I was upset that many couldn’t make it and drank far too much, though I could Just about walk by the time we left the bar — the last 4 of us decided to head back to H.H.S to drink and hang out more as a group. I was meant to text my friend and her partner the address whilst they went home quickly to grab a coat as they lived nearish. H.H.S helped me into the cab and we made our way to his place, it’s then he put his hand behind the seat and began touching my leg. I thought he had a partner at the time and so was confused as he mentioned her earlier in the night, I asked him about this roughly over drinks at his house (which he poured himself) and he said it was fine, I accepted this as I was very drunk by this time and being ethically non-monogamous at the time; I assumed naively that they talked before this. I don’t remember what happened after this until later, I know that I was so drunk I completely forgot to ask H.H.S again for the address, let alone that I had to contact my friend at all.

I remember roughly that things seemed to me above board, but then I experienced a huge amount of pain as he had pushed me onto my front and put his entire weight onto me, I started to say stop, and no as he put more weight onto me and was trying to enter me anally. I told him to stop and that it hurt (he had done this before to me but stopped after a few seconds of me saying no and we discussed how it wasn’t okay with me especially without prior consent so I didn’t expect this). He then put his weight further on me so I was prone and continued for several minutes, I managed to move my body so it wouldn’t hurt as much, though by this point I was stuck under his weight and could barely breathe. Once he had “finished” he got off of me and said something about how this was a good “purge” for him but he loves his girlfriend and so should sleep in the living room. I was in total shock as he just exited the room.

I had no way of getting home by myself and triggered , drunk and confused I went to sleep. I woke up to H.H.S typing away on his computer next to my bed and I shouted “bucket” multiple times so he ran and got me one which I then projectile vomited into. I apologized and went to the bathroom to continue throwing up before heading back to his bedroom to find my things and get home. As I was doing this I asked about the video, he wasn’t talking otherwise and I was extremely uncomfortable trying to hold back a panic attack and further barfing. I waited for my taxi to come as he confirmed everything about the video that I had expected, he boasted about being the main editor of that video, how it was his idea to blur the body, how they wanted more views and they (him and Logan Paul) obviously didn’t care genuinely for anything to do with suicide prevention — this was after excusing various racist acts and remarks made by Logan.

H.H.S didn’t contact me for a full week after this incident, when I got home I discovered I was bleeding from his forced entry, and went into another panic attack. I tried to contact Bing, who had introduced me to him in the first place, when I was met with a barrage of blame. He told me a lot of things like ‘What did you expect?’, ‘That’s on you’ and on me beginning to cry and get emotional, he quickly started to distance himself saying that we aren’t “really friends” anymore, and further slut shaming. I wanted help and was rejected, not only by him but the few others also who I contacted. I figured if my friends would not help me, why would the Police believe me?

I reached out to H.H.S privately but was ignored, he read my messages but did not respond, though remained friends with me on facebook. He now has his own channel with 134k subscribers and won a Streamy Award for his editing work with Logan Paul. If you’ve read all of this, thank you sincerely. I’ve carried this for far too long alone, every time I heard of the people involved and even the Paul brothers names, things just came rushing back violently. After being rejected by so many I believed to be my friends, I decided I shouldn’t come out publicly at the time as I thought no one would believe me, that in addition to the fact that I valued the content they created to such a vast degree that I thought it more important to keep quiet.

Thanks to a sadly long list of brave people, I now know that I matter and so does my voice. I hope that with this, I can finally begin to let all these incidents go and know I appreciate every single person who has been an ally and/or spoke their own truths.

#MeToo #BlackLivesMatter #StopAisanHate

Alaska Harrison

#metoo #blacklivesmatter #youtube #abuse

[litttlesilkworm]

Is it true that Gorbachev never supported Valery Legasov? Did he have a "court" as they say, or did he realize that Legasov was an expert one should listen to?

Thank you for a great ask, Comrade! 💜💛💚 And please forgive me for such a belated answer! And the same goes to all the authors of all the other anon asks I received but have yet to answer - I deeply value each and every one of them and promise to respond to them very soon! 

I do think that David Dencik’s Gorbachev, though not without charm, comes across as this kind of annoyed and needy monarch in the show. The real Gorbachev, with all his shortcomings, was a lot warmer - in a folksy kind of way - and much more personable. Look at this photo for example, of a room from which the Politburo meeting room was modeled in the show, and how Gorbachev sits together with the rest of the members, and not at the head table like a king:

And as to your question more directly - I actually have just the kind of a fascinating text here that I think, will speak for itself as far as the extent to which Gorbachev listened to and trusted Valery Legasov. The text is a transcript of the Politburo meeting that took place in the morning of May 5th in 1986 - merely a week after the accident. It actually is kind of a riveting read - a glimpse into how all those decisions had to be made in real time, with only meager - and constantly changing - information available. 

I wanted everyone to enjoy it, so I translated the discussion section from Russian (please see below).

Legasov really shines in this meeting and one can easily see just how much respect he instills in people around him. There is a rather amazing passage where Legasov voices his disagreement with Velikhov’s plan on how to drain the water from under the reactor. Gorbachev immediately takes Legasov’s side and approves his plan. He then sends Shcherbina out of the room during the meeting to make an immediate phone call to Chernobyl to instruct them to ditch Velikhov’s plan and start implementing Legasov’s. That was my favorite part.

Legasov also consistently sounds like the calmest person in the room. Just calmly and intelligently doing his job, solving what is essentially a scientific problem. Even from the transcript it is easy to extrapolate how much respect he commands around the table. 

I took the liberty to include some of my own notes/comments in the translation as well. And I am happy to answer any questions I can!

@elenatria, @alyeen1, @shark-from-the-park, @drunkardonjunkyard, @green-ann, @valerafan2, @johnlockismyreligion, @attachedtofictionalpeople, @the-jewish-marxist, @potter012

SHCHERBINA: We found ourselves in front of a situation that has not been considered before, which is why there hasn’t been any protocols in place for this type of an occurrence. The very project itself is built upon never allowing such a situation. There was an uncontrollable speeding up of the reactor. Immediately after the accident, there has been a lack of preparedness on-site to evaluate the situation. The Civil Defense did not warn people. Until the evening there were weddings being held in the city. The fire had to be smothered as soon as possible, and the radioactive fallout had to be reduced. 4 thousand tonnes of materials have been dumped at the reactor. We were able to knock the surface temperature down from 500 to 200 degrees. What shall we do beneath the reactor? People have approached the pool. It is possible that there is an opportunity now to release the water.

LIGACHEV: Don’t get ahead of yourself.

RYZHKOV: We’ll need to see about that. The most important thing is to avoid the explosion.

SHCHERBINA: The most difficult thing is deactivation.

(Note: Deactivation refers to the clean-up and burial of contaminated soil and water, etc - LSW)

GORBACHEV: The most important is to deal with the danger that is below.

SHCHERBINA: People are working selflessly.

(Note: It seems like they might all be talking over each other in an agitated manner. Wish we could hear a recording of this - LSW)

LEGASOV: The work is organized the following way: Comrade Shcherbina is in charge of organizing, Comrade Meshkov studies the reasons of the accident and I work on recommendations regarding prevention of the further spread of the fallout. There are also groups in Moscow conducting the analysis.

(Note: Legasov truly shines here, stepping in calmly and intelligently to get the discussion back on track. - LSW)

The considerations regarding prevention of the consequences of the accident that are being voiced in the West should be taken into account. These aren’t just guesswork, but a result of studies, conducted with other past NPP accidents taken into account. We had to do all the calculations on site, because we didn’t have any established protocols in place.

GORBACHEV: Plus in this case, there is water under the reactor.

LEGASOV: This was done to save money, otherwise one would have to build two separate buildings. Minsredmash did not agree with that. If we had 4-5 pipes that would be stretched away from the reactor and into some distance, this would not have been a problem. This is a miscalculation of everyone working in the energy industry.

GORBACHEV: What about the containment structures?

LEGASOV: Considering the force of the explosion that took place, a containment structure would not have saved anything.

GORBACHEV: We need to focus on what comes next.

LEGASOV: 10 hours later, we were able to stop the reactor. But it continues to emit radioactivity, because after a year of being in operation, it has accumulated a lot of isotopes. The heat output of those debris has been 14 megawatt in the first 24 hours, while today it is 8.5 megawatt. This is like burning 60 tons of coal every 24 hours. Besides that, graphite is burning, too. There is 2.5 thousand tons of graphite there in total. One ton burns up every hour. This equals 24 tons per day. The graphite will burn up completely in one-third of a year.

The number one task is to create a way of filtering out the radioactive isotopes. Right now the amount of them that gets emitted into air is 100-fold less than there would be without taking measures to drop sand and other materials on the reactor from the air. The area located in the vicinity of the reactor has been sacrificed, because dumping the materials from the height of 200 meters raised dust, which increased radioactivity near the power plant.

Currently, the mass that has been melted in the reactor is moving downward. This is difficult to control, because there hasn’t been monitoring devices installed that would allow doing that. This is my fault, too. But, not a single NPP in the world has something like that.

(Note: Remarkably, Legasov accepts blame for something he hasn’t even designed. Only that he hasn’t voiced his concern about this highly improbable scenario. Or maybe he did but doesn’t think he did it strongly enough? - LSW)

On the first day after the accident, the temperature of the melted mass was 1100 degrees, while yesterday at 18:00 it was 20 degrees. It goes up by 135 degrees every day.

(Note: “20 degrees” is clearly a typo and should say ~2000 degrees, as a quick calculation can confirm: 1100 + 135 x 7 days = 2045 degrees. - LSW) 

Last night, an experiment was conducted: the melted mass fell into water, and there hasn’t been an explosion. However, if the melted mass from the reactor reaches the water below, there will be powerful formation of steam.

The situation continues to be troubling. The reactor needs to be cooled from below. An underground tunnel needs to be created, and liquid nitrogen needs to be delivered via it. In 2-3 days, we need to allow the circulation of air. Yesterday, there were no air drops to enable the draft.

Regarding the potentially dangerous zone. It cannot be larger than 250 kilometers. Within which the active zone would be 30-50 kilometers. Our institute has previously considered a “Backstop” scenario, concerning this problem. So we have exact calculations on that account.

GORBACHEV: What would happen if the fuel reaches the ground water?

LEGASOV: This is where Velikhov and I could not find common ground. The pool needs to be emptied of water by pumping, not by shooting at it to pour it out.

GORBACHEV (to SHCHERBINA): We should let the site know, so they don’t shoot at it.

(Comrade SHCHERBINA steps out)

LEGASOV: And as for adding the concrete layer, that’s the final operation.

GORBACHEV: What about the remaining three blocks?

LEGASOV: The first two are in working condition. Barring another explosion, they will be fine. As for the third block, it might catch fire if there is another emergency.

GORBACHEV: Should we invite the foreigners? We shouldn’t do it in vain. But if we have to, then don’t be deterred by it.

LEGASOV: We were shown the cipher telegrams regarding this. Only two things were unknown to us: the French foam and the remote controlled robots from West Germany. So there is no need to send a general SOS message, whereas all the ideas originating overseas should be sent to the group for consideration.

RYZHKOV: If the strategy with pumping the water out via a pipe works, can the same pipe be used to pump the liquid nitrogen in?

LEGASOV: Yes. But it doesn’t cancel out the idea of a tunnel.

RYZHKOV: We should do both.

SHCHERBINA: I was just informed that the water pumping has begun.

(Note: looks like Shcherbina returned to the room after calling the site with this information. So, within this brief time span, Velikhov’s plan of shooting at the bubbler pool (with some sort of a projectile?) was rejected and Legasov’s idea was not only approved by Gorbachev, but actually started being implemented in real time. Amazing. - LSW)

(Note: another interesting takeaway is that they were arranging to bring Joker from West Germany way earlier than it was portrayed in the series. - LSW)

ALEXANDROV: Legasov reported everything correctly. Regarding the foreign assistance: it would be good to bring doctors who specialize in bone marrow transplants.

ALIEV: This type of a specialist is already working. 

(Note: this must be Robert Gale. - LSW).

LIGACHEV: Is there a possibility of a chain reaction?

ALEXANDROV: There is. But not an explosion, i.e. a momentary process. But there would be major steam generation.

SLAVSKY: Our Ministry is participating in limiting the consequences of the accident. My first deputy is there on site. One of the reasons for what has happened is that the Atomnadzor (Note: a nuclear watchdog/inspection agency - LSW) has done zero work. What is being done right now is correct. No further suggestions.

BREZHNEV (minister of transport infrastructure): Together with Comrades Shchadov and Usanov we went on site yesterday to survey the situation with approaching the water through drilling. The start of pumping is eased by its location. After the pumping, one must start pumping the clay-concrete mix. The drilling is complicated by the fact that the reactor cannot be approached to a distance closer than 250 meters. We have arranged with the military for them to deactivate the area so we could approach to a closer distance, 50 meters.

GORBACHEV: We should be picking up the pace. We should be working not only as if this was a wartime situation, but a nuclear one - around the clock.

RYZHKOV: Comrade Brezhnev should return on site and organize this work.

GORBACHEV: Yes.

GROMYKO: What’s the percentage of the fallout that enters the atmosphere?

LEGASOV: The SO is exceeded 22-fold. There will be zirconium. First, there was iodine coming out, and now it’s the rare earth minerals. The zone in the radius of 30 kilometers is dangerous. Iodine decays halfway in 8 days, and after 80 days there will be nothing left.

SEDUNOV (Deputy Chairman of Goskomgidromet): We are watching the situation with radiation from airplanes and the land sites. The spread of radioactivity depends on wind direction. First, the cloud went north, then west and south. There was a spread of radioactive air into Poland, Scandinavia, then into Romania and Bulgaria, yesterday - into Turkey. In Kiev, its level increased 80-fold above background, this morning it is 45-fold. A norm for the public is considered 10-fold above background over a year. In Minsk and Lithuania it’s 3-fold. In the North Caucasus, 2-fold. We suppose that in Kiev, it will start receding. But if the wind changes, the cloud can head toward Moscow. 

(Note: Goskomgidromet is the weather forecasting agency. - LSW).

SHCHERBITSKY: Someone confused roentgens and milliroentgens.

(Note: not sure what he is referring to? - LSW).

SEDUNOV: It is important to watch the isotope content of the precipitation. Iodine goes into milk. Today that’s where most of the danger is coming from.

GORBACHEV: What to do with the cattle?

SEDUNOV: No need to destroy it. The Kiev water reservoir may become polluted.

LYASHKO: The water probes are being taken every hour. Radioactivity was only found in upper parts of the Pripyat’ river. We banned the public from drinking water from open sources there.

SEDUNOV: In Moscow everything is normal so far.

SHCHADOV (minister of coal industries): It is dangerous to break through the wall. Water should be pumped out and then the mix should be pumped in. If necessary, we’ll dig under the building. 

(Note: Shchadov circles back to talking about the water problem and backs Legasov’s strategy. - LSW)

AKHROMEEV (deputy defense minister): Task number one is controlling the radiological situation. We started the deactivation of roads and other sites. Three thousand people are working on it. Today we will finish preparing the deactivation plan and report to the working group.

SOLOMENCEV: How effective is the cleanup?

AKHROMEEV: It reduces radioactivity by a factor of 3 to 4. We have to create burial sites for topsoil and water. We also have set up medical facilities at 7 thousand person capacity.

LIGACHEV: What does Akhromeev think about approaching the water under the reactor?

AKHROMEEV: My opinion is to break it with a cumulative projectile. 

(Note: I think this means an anti-tank missile. A true military man’s response, and one vote for Velikhov’s plan. - LSW)

RYZHKOV: There are enough people.

AKHROMEEV: If needed, we will bring more.

LYASHKO: The Dnieper system provides water for 32 million people. The water samples are taken every hour. Yesterday there was no alarm until the evening. But today, there is. On smaller rivers, radiation levels have increased and are now 10^-4, with 10^-8 being the norm. (Note: Units? - LSW). These areas were instructed to switch to water from closed sources.

Luckily, there are artesian wells here. If need be, we will bring water tanks. What would be more difficult is if we would have to dump the water out of Kiev Reservoir. There is already a water shortage in the South. We need Gosomgidromet’s recommendations on how long we should hold the water in Kiev Reservoir.

GORBACHEV: How are the evacuated people?

LYASHKO: Evacuation was carried out in 3 hours in place of planned 6. One bad thing was that we had no protocol in place for this kind of scenario, no training has ever been conducted. The food for the evacuated has been organized. There turned out to be a disconnect between the services of the 3-rd Minzdrav group and the regional medical services. (Note: Minzdrav is the Ministry of Health Services - LSW). They were kept too secret. I spoke to Comrade Burenkov about it. The situation is getting better now.

The census of the evacuated has been complicated by the fact that there were many who have left on personal transport for the holidays to other towns, to visit family, etc.

Construction workers were sent to other objects. 3.5 thousand people were assigned to the “Mayak” factory. Many went to work at agriculture jobs. They will receive medium wages. Because of property loss, people will have to be paid a compensation out of Gosstrakh (Note: a state insurance agency - LSW). The people from the countryside should be given a one-time amount of 100 rubles for the head of the household, and 50 rubles for each family member. The public insists on being provided more information and guidance: what to do in the situation they are in.

SHCHERBITSKY: It is very important right now.

GORBACHEV: I thought we have already decided to provide such information locally.

LYASHKO: We need the minister of health and the scientists to speak and broadcast these regionally. Water from under the reactor should not be let out into soil, even if it goes into a pit. A pool should be built. We can build this type of vessel. We also need vessels for the deactivated soil. But places like that should be guarded.

VLASOV: We will do that.

LYASHKO: The school year continues. The primary school needs to be let out in a week, the tenth graders should finish as usual. All the children, evacuated ones, should be taken into summer camps. I am requesting openings for them. The milk gets doubly checked. If there is contamination, it is being sent for butter and cheese production.

GORBACHEV: We have got the project of the resolution. What should we add? We should take into consideration that the situation is very difficult in all aspects: radiation, an enormous territory. There will be no definitive answers from scientists as far as the future goes. That’s why we need to work by the worst-case scenario. The top priority should be the reactor with all the options considered. The working group must consolidate all the necessary resources and mechanisms.

At the same time, the work with the public needs to be underscored: living conditions, jobs, healthcare, etc. Water is a special question. What should we do? We should carry out all the calculations, all the forecasts. Especially planning all that needs to be done in the danger zone.

Separately, we must decide how to be with the outside world. Information must be provided in a calm and balanced manner, without overconfidence but firmly. Panic is the luxury of the subordinates, and not of the Politburo or the government.

The local channels in Ukraine should broadcast more expanded information. Across the Soviet Union, primarily the facts should be broadcast. Maybe the informational frame can be expanded to the outer world, as well. Our adversaries are asking us questions that would on one hand, allow them to judge us as a whole, and on the other hand - smear us with mud. If we add more information now, it will be natural, because the time passes, and with that the amount of facts. But we should not create a picture of overconfidence. We are facing the fact that this situation is a signal to everyone. The public’s opinion should be turned toward the steps we are taking towards nuclear disarmament. This accident, on a nuclear object, tells us that a nuclear war should never be allowed to happen. We should talk about this at a press conference. So, the information needs to be added to, but responsibly.

As for bringing the foreign specialists? As I understood from Legasov, there is no need for it. If there will be a need, then we’ll decide. 

DOLGIKH: This is written in the next to last section.

GROMYKO: I agree with what Mikhail Sergeevich had said. It is correct that the situation remains serious. In the second section of the project it says: to consider.

GORBACHEV: It should say: approve the proposed measures and intensify the work.

GROMYKO: Section 10. We raised this question at the United Nations. We should use what we’ve already talked about previously.

SHCHERBITSKY: Section 9 needs to be expanded, to mention informing the populace regarding the situation.

GORBACHEV: Add this.

MEDVEDEV: Perhaps we should make a mention of periodically informing our friends.

GORBACHEV: It is already in the project. I suggest incorporating these suggestions and approving it.

POLITBURO MEMBERS: Agreed.

GORBACHEV: Boris Evdokimovich, you said that the analysis of the causes of the accident has been completed.

SHCHERBINA: Yes. On 25th of April, the power plant started conducting an experiment to test the reliability of its functioning, which has been approved by the Chief Engineer. It has been a crudest mistake to conduct such a test without taking the reactor functioning into account.

GORBACHEV: What kind of experimenting was it? This is a nuclear power plant.

SHCHERBINA: These kinds of experiments are conducted at power plants. But the nuclear watchdog agency should have been informed of that. The first scientific deputy hasn’t been there.

GORBACHEV: What about the version with hydrogen?

SHCHERBINA: No. There were two explosions inside the reactor.

GORBACHEV: What about the automated systems?

SHCHERBINA: None of the three systems worked.

GORBACHEV: There has already been resolutions regarding the improper operating procedures at Chernobyl NPP.

SHCHERBINA: The personnel have not been properly chosen.

CHEBRIKOV: We have two reactor systems - two-line (the more reliable ones) and the single-line ones. This is a single-line reactor. It doesn’t tolerate fluctuations in the operating procedure. Unplanned things lead to adverse circumstances. There are three systems in place to stop the reactor everywhere, but this one only had two. Capturing the extra heat output - that’s what the experiment was for. Its planning was done without involving the reactor designers.

SHCHERBINA: The hydrogen version was discarded right away. The problem was with the reactor vibrating and speeding up.

DOLGIKH: We should wait for the results of the final analysis.

GROMYKO: We should start discussing this in Central Planning. A big misfortune had struck us. Someone made an oversight, committed a crime and must be punished. What sort of thing they decided to experiment with. The decision should be such that many generations would not forget about this fact.

GORBACHEV: I suggest approving the resolutions regarding the liquidation of the consequences of the accident at Chernobyl and inviting Hans Blix to the USSR.

POLITBURO MEMBERS: Agreed.

The resolutions are approved.

#chernobyl #valery legasov #boris shcherbina #mikhail gorbachev

[immabethehero]

Schneeplestein Apparently Has a Heart

The good doctor’s birthday is here and of course I wrote a story! Just warning, this story is quite dark. Read the trigger warnings below.

TW: Suicide attempt by gunshot (not seen, just implied), suicidal thoughts and words, extreme distress, minor violence, blood mentioned.

For the short amount of time that Jackieboy Man and Marvin the Magnificent have lived with Dr. Henrik Nicholas von Schneeplestein, MD, PhD, MVP, FFS, they have learned a few important lessons, or rules:

NEVER, under any circumstances, touch the top left cupboard on the outside of the kitchen opening. That’s where Schneep’s coffee supply is, and if you touch it, even ONCE, Schneep will be out for your blood.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you mention Schneep’s wife, Lisette Schneeplestein. Apparently, the French brunette whom Schneep has been married to for the past 7 years has fucked off (Schneep’s words) back to France with her tennis instructor, Rick, short for Ricardo (Italian, apparently) and taken their two daughters with her. (Schneep has cleaned out Lisette and the girls’ rooms, and all the belongings they have left behind, in their efforts to leave so quickly, are packed away in storage containers in the garage. Schneep has yet to mail them to Lisette’s new address.)

DO NOT wake Schneep earlier than 10 AM in the morning if it’s his one day off. Despite having an early bird’s job, Schneep is not a morning person. Another reason why Schneep is dependent on coffee.

UNLESS it is an emergency, no one but Schneep is allowed in his office. As there are so many things to keep track of, and so many papers that could easily be misplaced, it is best not to touch, or even go inside the office, lest you want to throw the doctor off his game or have the doctor throw you off a cliff.

Despite these four unspoken yet very specific rules, Marvin and Jackie have learned one more this past month: despite the doctor’s arrogant, haughty, snappy, disgusting, even FERAL demeanour, he truly is a good person.

It just took a new ego to show them that.

March 30th, 2017. Schneep’s mail has been unceremoniously thrown onto the dining room table. Schneep’s hands, long and graceful, slide through the envelopes and fliers, organizing them into piles, from taxes and business inquiries to subscriptions and sales.

Jackie lazily eats his cereal, watching Schneep sort through the mail like a madman. Geez, just how popular is this guy?! It’s almost as wild as Jack’s mail. At least there’s more interesting stuff for Jack... drawings, letters of encouragement and thanks, even the rare crocheted or sculpted gift.

Schneep freezes when he comes across a particular letter, one with a cutesy pin cupcake logo. His eyes grow solemn as he picks it up and shakily opens it. Jackie cocks his head.

“Something wrong, doctor?” he asks lightly.

Schneep looks up. “Hm? Oh!” He sighs. “It’s from a baking class Sophia and I used to take together. Lisette had insisted I learn how to cook as well, so it wouldn’t always be her making the meals, and she figured it would be good bonding for me and Sophia. Soph loved those classes. We’d learn all sorts of fascinating recipes and bring the results home. They were fun, and very sweet.”

Jackie nods seriously. He knows he should leave it there, but something’s confusing him. “It’s been quite a few months since you stopped going. Why are they sending you stuff now?”

Schneep unfolds the letter. As he reads it, his eyes widen and a smile begins curling at his lips.

Somehow, that only makes more questions. “What…?”

“It’s not the company themself, it’s Chase! He was a friend from the classes! I haven’t spoken to him in forever! He’s such a lovely person, it’d be nice to see him again!” Schneep grabs his phone and hastily types in the number at the bottom of the letter. He squeals and runs off, like a teenager who just got a text from their crush.

The letter lies on the table, open for all to read. Jackie knows better than to pry into other people’s lives, but this letter is wide open, and it’s not like Schneep needs to know, so the superhero leans over and reads.

Hey Henrik,

This is probably weird to get, but I lost your phone number and I don’t know what your address is, so I asked the dudes at the baking class if I could send a letter to you via their services.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I thought I’d better check in and see how you’re doing, see how bachelor life is treating you. Stacy and the kids miss seeing you as well. I wanna talk to you again.

My cell is #1273-545-8903.

Hope to see you soon!

Chase Brody

Chase Brody. That sounds like an American to Jackie’s ears. He does seem like a good person, if Schneep’s reaction wasn’t enough. He must have been a friend for Schneep when the doctor went through his divorce.

The name itself sounds familiar, like a local celebrity or something. Jackie makes a mental note to look it up later. He leans back and finishes his cereal just as Schneep comes back, holding his phone out. Marvin finally emerges, his green hair resembling a rat’s nest, and no mask. Jackie takes pride in the fact that Marvin now feels comfortable enough to show his face in front of Schneep and Jackie.

“Well, change of plans, I won’t be able to come home in time for dinner with you guys,” Schneep announces. Jackie nods.

“Wait what? Why?” Marvin slurs, slumping down at the dining room table.

“I’m going to see Chase after my shift today. We agreed to meet in the park,” Schneep explains curtly, and leaves.

“Did I miss something?” Marvin asks, turning to Jackie. Jackie nods down to the letter. Marvin leans over to read, only for the letter to be snatched up by the doctor.

“Who said you could go through my stuff?!” Schneep snapped. He stormed off, letter clutched firmly in his hand. Marvin sneers at Jackie, who only shrugs and winks. The magician rolls his eyes, but he understands. A shrug and a wink means I’ll tell you later.

Schneep throws on his brown coat and grabs his bag. “Have a nice day, boys. If I don’t see you later tonight, sweet dreams and I’ll see you in the morning.” He flies out, coat flapping behind him.

“He’s gotta show me how he rocks an overcoat so well. I’m jealous of the way he holds himself. So professional,” Marvin remarks. He quickly turns to Jackie. “Spill the tea.”

“Schneep’s meeting an old friend from a baking class he used to take with his daughter,” Jackie says. “His name is Chase Brody. The name sounds so familiar to me, and I don’t know why.”

“Look it up on your phone,” Marvin suggests. Jackie does just that.

Immediately, Wikipedia comes to the egos’ rescue. Chase Brody, (born April 11th, 1988)  is an American-Irish Youtuber who is best known for his Youtube channel, Bro Average. As of February 2017, his channel has over 20 million views and over 10 million subscribers.

“Oh yeah, the trickshot vlogger!” Jackie says. “I like watching his stuff, he’s a funny dude.”

Marvin nods. “He must have kids as well.  He wouldn’t be taking classes if he didn’t.”

Jackie scrolls down to Personal Life. “‘Chase is married to Stacy Matthews, and they have three children as of 2017, two biological twins, and one recently adopted daughter.’” The selfie provided shows a man with fair skin and bright blue eyes standing next to a red-headed lady doing a duckface.

“Hm. Sounds like he’s living the good life,” Marvin says. “A well-paid job, a nice family, a happy life.”

Boy, is he wrong.

At 5 PM exactly, Schneep sits at the bench by the great oak tree, waiting for Chase. He wraps his blue and navy scarf tighter around his neck as a cool breeze whisks by. Despite what the weather people promised, Athlone is nowhere near warm, despite it being spring. He examines the park-goers who walk by, picking up on every accident that could occur.

Parents swinging their child up and down: a broken arm, arms could pull out of their sockets, or the child could fall on their head and get a concussion. Or worse, permanent brain injuries.

Kids climbing trees: Another chance to fall and hit their tiny heads and sustain brain damage, if not that, broken limbs and splinters.

Teenagers skateboarding: more broken bones and limbs, but at least SOME are smart enough to put pads and helmets on. Others have no chance of recovering fully from brain damage or concussions should they fall on their heads-

“Henrik!” Henrik snaps to life and looks around. A man wearing a puffy black jacket, torn jeans and a snapback with a pink skull on it runs over to him. Schneep stands up.

“Chase Brody! Wie geht es dir mein freund?” Schneep cries out in delight, holding his arms out. Chase happily throws himself into them.

“I’m doing as well as I can, at least. It’s so good to see your face,” Chase sighs. He nuzzles Henrik’s hair, taking in the sanitizer and mint smell he’s gotten used to. “I’ve missed you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Schneep says. “Come, sit down next to me! Tell me how things have been.  How are Stacy and your kids? Has Chloe adjusted to the new timezone yet?” Chloe is Chase’s recently adopted daughter from China. Schneep’s last visit with the Brody’s involved meeting her.

Chase’s smile fades and he sits down next to Schneep. “Um…”

Schneep’s stomach sinks. “That’s never good. What happened? Who died?!”

“Calm down, Henrik!” Chase exclaims. “No one died! Everyone’s fine. Chloe’s adjusted quite nicely.”

“Then why do you look so sad?!” Schneep cries.

Chase fidgets with his jacket zipper, mumbling incomprehensibly. Henrik leans closer. “Didn’t catch that.”

“StacyandIaregettingadivorce,” Chase whispers. Schneep’s stomach flips and sinks.

“What?”

“Stacy and I are getting divorced,” Chase repeats, louder now. “She said she still loves me, but not quite in a… romantic way, I guess. She wants us to just be friends.”

“Well, at least she still wants to be on friendly terms, I guess!” Schneep says. “Still, I can’t believe it… you two were such a sweet couple… so in love…”

“There’s another reason why she wants a divorce,” Chase admits. Schneep’s eyes turn wide as saucers.

“She’s seeing someone. An old friend from high school. I’ve seen her texts,” Chase says. He scrunches up the end of his shirt, nose wrinkling. Schneep hears him sniff.

“I don’t know how long it’s gone on… and I know she didn’t mean to… but still…” Chase finally looks up, eyes tearing. “How could she do that? I would have been okay with it! Maybe. I don’t know!” Chase buries his face in his hands.

Schneep pats Chase’s shoulder gently. He can’t believe Stacy cheated! She and Chase were such a romantic couple! They seemed so happy! Why would Stacy throw that all away for some whore? “What a bitch…”

Chase suddenly whacks Schneep’s hand off, eyes fierce. “Don’t call her that! It’s not like that!  At least she still wants me in her life! She’s not like Lisette!” An awkward silence fills the air.

Chase gasps. “Henrik, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way-”

“Oh!” Schneep cries. “It’s fine! It’s no big deal!” Yeah, that was a low blow, but he would rather Chase doesn’t end up like him: cranky, alienating, friendless, alone. He needs a friend more than ever.

“No it’s not, I just sunk really low! You must be furious-”

“I’m not, I promise!” He’s not, surprisingly. Is this growth?! What the fuck?!

“I need to control myself better. I’m a grownup, for fuck’s sake, I should know better…” Chase moans, burrowing his head in his hands again.

“Chase!” Schneep exclaims. “You mustn’t beat yourself up like that! You’re one of my very best friends, which isn’t saying much because I don’t have any, but still! You have to be one of the nicest people I know! You’re anything but a dick!”

“I feel like you’re just saying that to make me feel better,” Chase mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m not, I swear !” Schneep says.

“I’m sorry, Henrik, I really am,” Chase says.

“I forgive you,” Schneep says, and means it. “I’m serious.”

“I should go,” Chase decides, standing. Schneep gets up as well.

“What? No! I’m not mad!” he protests.

“It’s my turn to pick the kids up,” Chase snaps. “I’ll see you around, Henrik. Sorry I can’t stay long.” He briskly runs off.

Schneeplestein yells and kicks the bench. “FUCK! FUCK! AAAHHH!!!”

Other park visitors turn in confusion, watching the strange man kick the bench and scream.

Schneep freezes when he notices everyone staring at him. He storms back to his car, slams the door shut and continues his screaming.

Once Schneep has finished “releasing his anger” (Jackie’s words, not his) he “reflects on the situation” (also Jackie’s words). What could he do to make Chase feel better?

He stays in the car for an hour, letting the world pass by as he thinks. By the time the sun has set, he has an idea.

Jackie and Marvin glare at each other from across the hall. Sirius the cat has hidden, choosing not to get involved. The little pegs in the cribbage board are neck-in-neck, both pegs exactly 4 steps away from the end hole. The egos stare at their cards.

“Four,” Jackie announces, putting the card down.

“Fourteen,” Marvin says.

The door flies open and Schneep rushes in, hair windswept and out of breath. “Where’s Jack?!” he demands.

“Out in his universe,” Jackie responds. “Fifteen for two!” He puts down an ace.

“Sixteen for two!” Marvin slams the ace down, looking triumphant. Jackie flips him off.

“When will he visit?!” Schneep questions.

“When he wishes,” Jackie responds. “Twenty-five!”

“How can I contact him?!”

“Why are you so interested?!” Marvin asks. “Thirty-one, bitch!” He flips Jackie off.

“I have a request for him!” Schneep responds curtly. 

“What kind?” Jackie asks.

“It’s for a friend,” Schneep brushes him off, heading to his lab.

“Chase Brody?” Marvin guesses. Jackie kicks him.

Schneep turns around. “What did you say?”

Marvin gulps. “You left your letter on the table for me to read. I was fast enough to catch the gist before you snatched it up. So how is Chase Brody?”

Schneep growls softly and walks back to the table. Marvin sits up with his head held high, bracing himself for the punishment. No matter what Schneep does, slugging, kicking, ruining his hair, the magician can take it.  He’s been through worse.

To Marvin and Jackie’s surprise, Schneep pulls up a chair and sits down. The doctor takes a deep breath. “Chase Brody is divorcing his wife. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Jackie and Marvin nod in understanding. “That’s sad to hear,” Jackie remarks, solemnly.

“But how’s talking to Jack going to help?” Marvin queries.

“I want him to make a video for Chase,” Schneep says. “If this so-called community exists, I want to see them show their love for Chase! It’s the least he deserves!”

Marvin and Jackie catch each other’s gaze. Schneep glares at Jackie expectantly.

“Well? You’ve lived with Jack the longest. How do you contact him?!” Schneep demands.

“I have his number in case of emergencies, but I’ve never had a reason to call him! I don’t even know if he’s available,” Jackie explains.

“He has to be.  What else does a man who plays video games for a living do?!” Schneep snaps, incredulous. “It’s not like he has to be places or anything!” He looms over Jackie, a desperate, pleading look in his eyes. Jackie nearly topples out of his chair.

“I guess I could give it a shot,” the superhero mumbles.

Schneep squeals in delight and wraps his arms tightly around Jackie in what Jackie assumes to be a hug. The superhero pats the doctor’s arms, taken aback by his strength.

After a few sickeningly sweet seconds, Marvin pipes up, “Uh, doc? I think Jackie needs to be able to breathe in order to call Jack.”

Sheepishly, Schneeplestein lets Jackie go. The superhero gulps in big gasps of air, before grabbing his phone and dialing Jack’s number.

A day later, Jack McLoughlin sits at the egos’ dining room table, chomping away on mashed potatoes and a juicy steak.

“My goodness, you never told me what a good chef you were, Schneep!” he sighs in ecstasy.

Schneep bows his head, face glowing red. Jackie raises an eyebrow. Schneep almost NEVER blushes when given a compliment. It’s strange to see the doctor act so shy and humble around someone, especially Jack. It feels like only yesterday Schneep was bombarding Jack with questions about where he came from and how the alternate universe worked. Since that day, Jack has quickly risen to become one of Schneep’s favourite people on the planet. Not that Jackie is jealous or anything…

“Just a little recipe I learned for my wife…” Schneep mutters, playing with the end of his lab coat. Across the table, Marvin snickers lightly, watching the doctor fumble for words. Finally, some entertainment!

“So, what was the call for?” Jack asks. “Just wanted to say hi?” His expression darkens. “Is it Anti? What did he do?!”

“It’s not Anti.  We haven’t heard from him for a while!” Jackie says. Jack sighs in relief.

“I mean, I know I made that video for PAX and all but I just wanted to make sure,” Jack says.

“You made an Anti video for PAX?!” Marvin cries. “Why?”

“Because the fans would enjoy it! Also because I was running out of ideas for what to do for an opening,” Jack admits. “It just seemed like the right amount of fun and originality without being too over the top!”

“When is Anti not over the top?” Jackie scoffs. That earns a laugh from the others.

“Actually, it’s Schneep who has a question for you,” Marvin says.

Jack turns to Schneeplestein. Schneep’s smile disappears. He looks around the table, watching everyone’s gaze. He grins nervously at Jack.

“Could I ask you in private? This stuff… it is… personal.”

“Sure. Let’s go,” Jack says, standing up. Schneep follows after him.

In the upstairs hallway, Schneep spills everything. He explains who Chase is, what’s going on in his life, and how he believes making Chase an ego could help his situation.

“Make another ego? Oh god, I’m having enough trouble managing you all right now,” Jack admits.

“All you have to do is make one video. The fans can do the rest,” Schneep presses.

“How?”

“By showing their love for Chase! He’s a funny and sweet guy! Your fans would love him!”

“How will the community’s love help a man struggling with a divorce?” Jack questions.

“Their love will lift his spirits and he will feel more confident and happy! You said you noticed a difference in us after the community made content of us! If that is really true, then I want to see them show their love for Chase. It’s the least he deserves!”

Jack is silent, contemplating the pros and cons. Finally, he sighs and says, “Can you show me what he usually does?”

Schneep types something into his phone. He logs onto Youtube and types a channel name into the search bar. Bro Average.

“Bro Average? Is that a parody of Dude Perfect?” Jack asks, chuckling.

“Well, it’s because there’s only one person performing every stunt, and because it’s less... professional than the other channel,” Schneep explains. “For example-”

The video shows Chase at a park, holding a Nerf gun and wearing a goofy grin. “Sup, guys! I’m Chase, and welcome to Bro Average!” He shoots a nerf dart off-screen, only for it to crash into something, invoking a cat screech. Chase pretends to be startled.

It flashes forward to Chase in a tree. “This one’s called, ‘Multitasking’!” He hangs off a branch while trying to knock over six cups stacked up on each other with darts. Jack can’t stop snickering at Chase’s antics, as he wobbles and threatens to lose his balance. Chase yelps and squeals, and a few times, swearing can be heard, though it’s censored by loud beeps. Finally, Chase hits his target, just as the branch snaps. Chase whoops with glee as he crashes onto the ground, the branch smacking into his head. His cameraman runs over to him, worried, but Chase is rolling on the ground in laughter as tears run down his face.

“He is not nearly as good as the professionals, but his humour and authenticness bring in the fans,” Schneep says, smiling.

“He sounds like a blast!” Jack takes the phone and begins to skim through Chase’s videos. “I bet I could make something work! I’ll borrow an office space, bring a couple friends and film a few shots! Can’t be that hard!”

“So you will do it?!” Schneep cries.

“Absolutely! Give me a couple days and it will be ready!”

Schneep cheers and engulfs Jack in a bear hug. Jack laughs and pats his friend’s back. It’s nice to see the doctor open up at last to his new roommates and creator, and so quickly, as well. Jack decides Schneep can be rewarded for his good nature by granting his wish and helping out a new friend.

A few weeks pass. Schneeplestein schedules more visits with Chase. The two fathers laugh and chat, learning more about each other and discussing whatever they please without the worry of kids hearing. Schneep feels his spirits lift whenever he sees Chase’s snapback and hears his cheerful voice.

In the night, a familiar sensation returns to the egos’ dreams. Sounds of a Nerf gun, kids laughing and on the rare occasion, a man crying fills the egos’ heads as they sleep. Schneep feels his heart break when he hears Chase’s cries. He hopes this video will help Chase. It has to.

April 11th, 2017. The egos are gathered around the dining room table, Jack’s Youtube account open on his laptop. 

Jack idly sits at the centre, waiting for Schneep to arrive with Chase. Marvin and Jackie play another round of cribbage, and this time Jackie seems to be way ahead on the board, much to the magician’s dismay.

“I’m going to be skunked! I hate this game so fucking much!” Marvin gripes, as he receives two points for his math efforts.

Jackie snickers as he counts his cards. “This takes both luck and skill. You’re a fast learner, Marv.  I’m sure you’ll pull through soon.”

“Not soon enough,” grumbles Marvin as Jackie moves his peg 16 points.

The door opens and Schneep walks in with Chase Brody right behind him. Compared to the laughing man with the warm aura in Google Images, this Chase looks cold and kind of grumpy.

“Chase, this is Jack McLoughlin, our ‘creator’ and a wonderful man,” Schneep introduces. Jack awkwardly holds his hand out for a shake. Even though he’s seen versions of himself several times this past year, it’s still rather unnerving to be given death stares by himself but with yellow hair, snapback and a fair share of freckles.

“Jack, this is Chase Brody, your newest ego and the face of Bro Average!” Schneep continues. Chase raises an eyebrow.

“Ego? Like alter ego?” Chase turns to the others, and realizes that they share the same hair and face. “Oh... my... dog. Am I a fictional character?! Is this a character intervention with the narrator?! Whatever happened, I promise, I didn’t do it! Sally encouraged me to eat the worm!” Chase kneels before Jack, cowering and whimpering.

Jack chuckles nervously. “Relax, Chase! Technically, you are a fictional character-” Chase shrieks in alarm.

“But only in another universe. You’re very much a real person in this one,” Schneep concludes, helping Chase up by the arm. Chase shakes the doctor off and Schneep tries his best to hide his hurt.

“To put it simply, some of the videos on my channel don’t exist in this universe. This is because they’re about you… egos,” Jack recites. “You’re the most recent ego, however, your video and beginnings are a bit different because I already had some course material to go off of.”

Jack clicks play on the video. Chase sits down and gasps as Jack-as-Chase flies around the office, performing trickshots and screaming like a toddler who drank too much apple juice. Is… is this him?! The accuracy! Holy shit! They even got his bloopers right! Creepy!!! Is he being stalked?!

Schneep watches from afar, fidgeting with his lab coat. Chase hasn’t moved once since the video started. He doesn’t look angry… but at the same time, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying his Power Hour. Truth be told, it’s not like the Doctor particularly likes his Power Hour either. Jack didn’t have to go and mention his cheating wife… or the fact that Peter did die at one point… Nonetheless, Chase is just sitting there, with wide eyes.

Jack, on the other hand, is already regretting what he did. Perhaps he emphasized too much on the “Not-As-Professional-Or-Successful” part. Maybe he made Chase too goofy or not as three-dimensional as he could have. The Youtuber catches a glimpse of the screen. Oh no. It’s the part with-

“Stacy, please, I know, I’m trying to get all the shots, look, just please don’t take the kids!” Jack-as-Chase pleads. Schneep and Jack-in-the-flesh turn white as a ghost. Chase frowns.

“This one’s called, ‘I’m Staying At My Sister’s This Weekend’!” Jack-as-Chase announces. It flashes back to him on the phone. “Well, I don’t care what your sister says! Just please! At least let me see them on the weekend still!”

Jack scratched his neck nervously and teethed on his knuckles, face beet red. Chase looks horrified. Schneep looks just as worried. Marvin and Jackie awkwardly stand up to leave.

Chase pauses the video just as Jack-as-Chase sobs. He takes a deep breath and turns to face his “creator”. “So… are you the reason my wife and I are getting a divorce?”

Jack gapes, taken aback by Chase’s accusation. He doesn’t want to throw Schneep under the bus, but at the same time, Chase wasn’t exactly “created” like the others-

“Not exactly!” Schneep interferes. “It… it was my idea. I thought if I got Jack to make a tribute video in honour of you, it would help you!”

“Help me?!” Chase laughs, a harsh and cold sound compared to his whoops and chuckles in his videos. “How?! By running my wife’s name through the dirt?!” Jack flinches.

“Fair enough,” Schneep says with a groan. “I should have been more specific when I said divorce and kids.”

“You told-?!”

“I thought if you knew you had a big name on your side you’d feel better! It was supposed to be a little treat!” Schneep counters.

“Oh, what am I, a little pity party to you?” Chase snaps. “My divorce was private information, Schneep.  Why else did you think I wanted to talk to you alone?! Now the whole world knows and Stacy’s going to be treated horribly because of you shits-”

“Not the whole world!” Schneep exclaims. “Just… all… of Jack’s world.”

“Shut up,” Chase hisses. “I don’t care that there’s more than one universe. So be it. What I care about is the fact that you betrayed my trust and now people are going to treat Stacy like she was a freaking bitch. This may come as a surprise to both you and Jack, but not all women are cheating whores like Lisette, asshole!”

SMACK. Chase cries out. The egos and Jack huddle together. Schneep’s breathing slows as he registers the sting in his hand and Chase rubbing his red cheek.

Schneep takes a deep breath, and in chilling, low, icy words, he snarls, “Don’t ever say her name again.”

Chase recovers from the slap and storms over to the door. “Whatever. You know what?! Stay away from me and whatever’s left of my family. I don’t care if I’m a part of your ‘creator’s’ story or whatever, I JUST WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE.” Chase grabs his coat and slams the door shut with a loud BANG. Schneep remains at the dining room, breathing unsteadily, vision somewhat blurry.

“Doctor? Are you alright?” Jackie whispers, reaching a hand out.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Schneep runs upstairs to his room and slams the door. Muffled sobs soon echo down the hallway.

Jack’s heart breaks in two. He really thought this video was a good idea. Somehow, all it brought was pain. He sighs defeatedly and slumps down at the table. Marvin closes the laptop.

“Shit… that was awful…”

“And it was supposed to be Chase’s birthday present!” Jack moans. “Ahhhhh, I feel like an asshole… I shouldn’t have been so mean…”

“It’s not your fault…” Jackie soothes. “You made an assumption and played it with satire. Schneep shares some of the blame as well. He should have kept that part quiet.”

“And I should have kept that out of the video…” Jack sighs. “Now Chase feels even worse about the divorce and he wants nothing to do with us…”

Jackie and Marvin sit down beside Jack and rub his back. Jack sighs again and rests his head on the table.

Upstairs, Schneep screams into his pillow, tears finally flowing. He hates himself and Chase and everything that’s happened. That’s what he gets for helping a friend. Ungrateful bastard-

No. Schneep should have known better! That was private information, he had no right poking his nose in and telling everyone. Well, it was just one person, but still! Now Chase never wants to speak to him again and he’s lost the only friend he’s had in a while and everything sucks and he just wants to curl up and die. Schneep pulls his hair and screams again. He can’t sleep, but at the same time, he can’t do anything else. So he remains in bed, crying and thinking. Eventually, long into the night, he falls asleep, cheeks wet and eyes sore.

Schneep wakes up feeling like absolute shit. His cheeks are somewhat sticky and damp. He must have been crying in his sleep. His stomach feels awful. But it’s a work day, so he gets out of bed.

Schneep stumbles into his ensuite bathroom and splashes cold water on his face. He shudders when he sees his reflection. Grey skin, messy hair, red eyes. He doesn’t smell so good either. Sighing sadly, Schneep throws off his clothes and turns on the shower faucet.

When he hops out of the shower, he puts on his scrubs and grabs his spare labcoat. He trudges downstairs, where Marvin is waiting with fluffy chocolate-chip pancakes on the table.

“Morning, doc,” Marvin greets cheerfully. His smile fades when he sees Schneep’s ashen face. “Everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” Schneep replies hoarsely.

“I made you some coffee,” Marvin continues. “I know you like it.”

Schneep grunts softly and pours himself a large cup. As he drinks he heads to the hook of keys by the front door, only to find-

“Where are my keys?” Schneep asks, staring at the space where his car keys used to hang.

“I saw Sirius knock them off earlier,” Marvin replies, flipping through the nearest magazine. “I tried to catch her, but she’s so fast.”

“Where is she right now?” Schneep inquires, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Beats me. I can’t control her,” Marvin says calmly.

Schneep growls and pounds on the table. Marvin jumps slightly, but quickly recovers and goes back to his reading.

“This isn’t funny, Marvin.  I need to get to work!” Schneep snaps. “I’m already falling behind schedule.”

Marvin snorts, looking up from the magazine. “You think you’re fit to go to work? Your face is bright pink, you’ve got large shadows under your eyes and I heard you crying for who knows how many hours last night.”

“I have allergies! They were just acting up!” Schneep snaps.

“Oh, really? Allergies? That’s rich coming from the man who claims to have ‘the strongest immune system in the world’!” Marvin scoffs.

“Even the strongest immune systems have off days, okay?!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense! Henrik, are you even hearing yourself?!”

Schneep fights back more tears. “Marvin, please, tell me where the keys are! I can’t be late for work!”

“And you won’t be! I called the hospital and asked them to give you a day off!” Marvin says.

Schneep almost drops his mug. “You… you did what?!”

“I told them it was a family emergency,” Marvin admits. “And that we didn’t know how long it would be. They understood, told me to tell you to take as many days off as you need.”

“Which is none,” Schneep scowls. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am!”

“Henrik, you said you didn’t want Chase to go through his divorce alone and friendless, like you. You’re going through a tough time right now.  The last thing you need is to be alone.”

Schneep gapes at the magician, tears threatening to fall. Marvin stares back, heart thumping loudly. He prays he didn’t say the wrong thing. He hopes this works.

Maybe it’s because he didn't get enough sleep, or maybe it’s because he’s never had anyone be so concerned for his well-being that they screwed up his schedule, but Henrik finally lets his anguish go, and collapses, bawling like a little baby. Marvin gets down from his seat and wraps his arms around the doctor, soothing him and singing softly.

Jackie finally emerges from the bathroom, and joins the cuddle pile in the kitchen. As Henrik finally slumps completely into Marvin’s arms, he and the superhero high-five and move the sleeping doctor into the living room for a day of Netflix and cuddles.

Five days pass. Henrik sits at his desk, tapping his pen. In front of him is the start of a letter, with only the words “Dear Chase,” written on it.  He needs to apologize to Chase, but just doing it by text seems insensitive. So written letter it is! Now… where to start…

Dear Chase,

I’m sorry. What I did was wrong and there’s no way to excuse my behaviour. I really believed I was doing the right thing by telling Jack, but I should have known better than to air dirty laundry.

The doctor shakes his head and crumples up the page. He can do better than that. Now to start over-

His phone begins playing the familiar sound of a monitor beeping. He really needs to change his ringtone.  It’s too painful to hear after all the dead patients that came with it.

Henrik freezes when he notices the name. Chase. Why is he calling? Heart thumping and hands shaking, Henrik picks up the phone.

“Hello? Chase?”

“H-hi, d-doc…” Chase answers in a raspy whisper. The sound of sniffling is not lost on Henrik.

“Chase? Are you okay?”

“Not really…” Another sniffle. “But I will be… soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry for all the shit I said… It was wrong of me to bring up your own divorce… I-I shouldn’t have been so harsh…”

“No, Chase, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought up your divorce in the first place! I thought I was doing good by telling Jack, but he clearly misinterpreted it. I shouldn’t have mentioned it…”

“It’s alright… you were just trying to make me feel bet-better… I just overreacted… I overreact to eve-everything… I’m such a bay-baby.” Chase sounds like he’s holding back tears.

“No you’re not. You had every right to be mad… I’m sorry for slapping you. How’s your cheek?”

Schneep hears Chase chuckle softly. “It’s fine… It doesn’t hurt as much as other injuries…” The laugh turns into a sob.

“Other injuries?! What do you mean?!” Henrik demands. “Chase, you’re worrying me!”

“I’m sorry… I can’t seem to do anything right… All I do is upset people…” Chase is outright crying now.

“Chase, please tell me where you are,” Henrik pleads, getting up. “I need to make sure you’re okay!”

“No… I don’t think you’ll want to see this…” Chase mumbles. He takes a deep but shuddery breath. “I have to go. Goodbye, Henrik.”

“Chase?! CHASE?!” Henrik screams. The phone line goes dead. Henrik yelps and quickly rushes into his contacts. He finds Stacy’s name and calls her.

She answers on the first ring. “Henrik? It’s been so long! How are you?”

“Where is Chase right now?”

“What?”

“Where is he living?”

“What’s going on? What did he say to you? Is he okay?”

“Call 999. I don’t believe so.”

Henrik hangs up and dashes out of his office, up the stairs and to the front door, where he grabs his keys and coat. Marvin and Jackie sit at the kitchen island, both on their phones.

“Henrik? What’s going on?”

“I have to go to the hospital. I’ll be back,” Henrik answers curtly. He throws on his coat and leaves.

Henrik runs into the hospital and quickly signs himself in. A nurse comes by and squeaks in surprise when she sees him.

“Dr. Schneeplestein? What are you doing here? Isn’t today your day off?”

“Time is broken, Cass,” Dr. Schneeplestein replies. He dashes off to the emergency room. Cass quickens her pace, trying her best to catch up to him.

“Have there been any emergencies yet?” Schneep demands.

“I think an ambulance is arriving soon-” Cass begins.

“Who’s the patient?” Schneep asks.

“A man attempted suicide-” Cass starts.

“I’ll treat him,” Schneep announces.

The doors open and medics rush in, driving a man on a gurney. Schneep pales when he sees red. The good doctor swallows his fear and tears. Now is not the time to be a baby. He’s not called the good doctor for nothing. Time to save Chase’s life.

Hours later, five nurses come in to find Dr. Schneeplestein exhaustedly sobbing against the wall, shoulders convulsing as he cries into his hands. On the gurney lies a man with yellow hair poking out of a large bandage wrapped around his head. The monitor beeps rhythmically, and the man’s chest rises and falls slowly. So why is the doctor crying?

Three nurses wheel Chase out while the other two bend down next to Schneep. One nurse, Kate, tentatively places a hand on his shoulder. He jumps in shock.

“Schneeplestein? Are you alright?” Kate asks.

Schneep smiles shakily. “He’ll live…” He shivers and whimpers. “Oh god… so much could have happened… So much could have gone wrong… I thought I lost him a few times...” the doctor breaks off with another sob.

“Why don’t you head home? Today is your day off,” Kate suggests.

“In a little while… I need to speak to the patient first…” Schneep replies in a raspy voice. Kate nods. She and the other nurse, Matt, help the doctor up. His legs wobble and almost give out. Schneep takes a deep breath and slowly  makes his way out of the operating room and into his office.

An hour later,  Henrik reappears, wearing his comfy labcoat and drinking some tea, a rarity considering how much the doctor prefers coffee. But he needs to relax, and so Matt whipped up a nice cup of tea.

Henrik pulls up a chair and sets his cup down. He looks down at the sleeping man, face as white as the bandage wrapped around his head. Chase has never looked more fragile and vulnerable. His cheeks are sunken and there are large bags under his eyes.

Henrik rubs his face. Truthfully, he’s just as tired. He looks up at the clock. 1:11 am. God, he was in the operating room for quite a while. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be as stressed as he was today. He leans back and closes his eyes. Maybe he can get a quick nap before-

“Dr. Schneeplestein?” He opens his eyes and looks up. His stomach flips when he notices a woman with red hair that falls in waves down her shoulders.  Her soft brown eyes are full of compassion and worry. Stacy Brody. Or Stacy Matthews, to be more precise.

“Stacy…” Henrik mumbles. “What… I mean, I’m sorry. I understand this must be a lot for you.”

“I can’t believe it… I mean, I knew about his depression, I just didn’t think it would get this bad,” Stacy says, voice soft and sad.

Henrik nods. “Yes. One can’t help but wonder what the breaking point was.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” Stacy whispers hoarsely, staring down at her ex-husband’s skinny frame. “I did cheat on him. I told him I wanted a divorce after he found out… I wonder what would have happened if I told him straight up about Delilah… I wonder how he would have reacted…”

Henrik is speechless. He can’t really say it isn’t her fault, but at the same time, it wasn’t as if she could straight up tell him. There really was no way of telling how he would have reacted. Henrik groans and rubs his eyes again. He can’t think straight.

His mind flickers back to the video, and his stomach sinks. Did that video… influence his decision? Should he tell her about it? Would she be mad? He takes a deep breath.

“I mentioned your divorce to another friend,” he finally says. “Said friend made a video that I think mocked Chase more than flattered him. I thought it would help… but it didn’t. Only made him even more upset.”

“A video? Was this the video that ‘Jack’ made?” Stacy asks. Henrik opens his eyes, horrified. How long has she known?! Oh god, she must despise him! Henrik whirls around to face her, face riddled with guilt.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he’d take it in that direction- It was a shitty idea, I was so invasive and it was absolutely despicable of me and-”

“Hey, calm down, it’s okay! It was an honest mistake!” Stacy responds calmly. “Chase told me about it. He felt awful and he was so pissed with you guys. I will admit I was a bit peeved at first, but Chase said he yelled at you and broke off his friendship with you, so I figured it was punishment enough.”

“He also brought up my wife,” Henrik says. “So I punched him.”

Stacy nods. “Ah, that’s where the bruise came from.”

Henrik cringes. Damn, did he actually hit Chase that hard? He really is a dick. He sighs and stands up. “You are more than welcome to punch me. I deserve it. I never should have brought up the divorce. It was hateful of me, really.”

Stacy shakes her head. “Oh no, I couldn’t! You saved Chase from the brink of death. It’d be so insensitive of me!”

“I insist.” Henrik holds his head up. Stacy reluctantly stands up, and raises an open palm.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaks.

“It’s fine, I can handle it,” Henrik says.

Stacy takes a deep breath… and punches him. Henrik falls back into the chair from the force. Stacy cringes.

“You… have a very strong punch,” Henrik remarks, holding his throbbing cheek. He holds a finger up when he sees her mouth move. “Don’t apologize. You were right to do so.”

“I took karate as a kid,” Stacy boasts. “I won a black belt at age five.”

“Good for you! To be honest, it wasn’t nearly as hard as my wife’s,” Henrik admits.

“Well, at least I got my ‘revenge’- wait, what?!” Stacy does a double take. “Lisette used to punch you?!”

“She only did it once,” Henrik quickly adds. “After I called her a whore.”

“Oh. That explains a lot,” Stacy deadpans.

“I deserved that as well,” Henrik says. “I just wish she hadn’t moved so far away… I wonder how the girls are doing...”

“Have your children contacted you?” Stacy lightly presses.

“I’ve tried to contact them,” Henrik says. “I don’t think Lisette lets them write or call me.”

“Then Lisette really is an ass,” Stacy explodes. “What if they do want to talk to you? She can’t hide them from you just because she doesn’t like you.”

“That doesn’t seem to stop her. I keep my phone nearby in case Sophia calls when her mother isn’t around.” Henrik pats his pocket. “Or maybe Rick will let her. He’s quite nice and he’s good with kids, which is why I was quite surprised when he turned out to be-”

“A homewrecker?” Stacy suggests. Henrik glares at her, scandalized, but she can tell he’s trying to suppress a smile.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, snickering.

“I was gonna say an ass, but that’s better,” he says. Stacy bursts out laughing, but it quickly fades when she notices Chase. She clears her throat.

“I’m going to take the kids away for a while,” she reveals. “At least until he’s emotionally stable to look after the kids.”

“You know Chase would never let his depression get in the way of being a good father,” Henrik protests.

“I know. I just feel he needs a break from it all,” Stacy says. “Mostly family life, me and Delilah in particular. Maybe she and I could go to my cottage in Scotland. We can stay there until he feels ready to share custody once more. He can’t be alone, though. We know what will happen if he does. He can’t go back home either. We still need to wash out the blood and dispose of any guns he might have. Of course I mean the real guns, but he might not want his Nerf toys either. He needs to be with someone , and that can’t be me. I just don’t know anyone he could stay with who lives in Athlone. We only just moved here.”

Henrik lights up. Holy shit. It’s like destiny! This is the perfect opportunity! “He can move in with us. He’s already an ego. He’d love it there. Sure it’s a bit chaotic, but I think he’d love it!”

Stacy raises an eyebrow. “What sort of chaotic?” she questions.

“The local superhero likes to crash there, we have a magician who INSISTS on using us for test subjects for his latest tricks, and me, the ‘feral doctor’,” Henrik lists off. “Come to think of it, I’m actually the voice of reason.”

Stacy tries her best to hide a shudder. “I feel a little worried about his safety. And no offense, but it’s a bit concerning that you’re the voice of reason in that house.”

Henrik scoffs in mock insult and shoves her gently. “Oh screw you! To be honest, Jackie is actually the smart one. I’m the one who pays the taxes and keeps a roof over their head. They’re the ones who overstayed their visit.”

Stacy rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. She looks more relaxed than when she walked in. She stands up.

“I think it’s time I left. Good luck, Chase. I wish you all the best with your recovery.” Stacy leans over and gently kisses Chase’s cheek before turning to Henrik and holding her hand out. Henrik returns it and gives it a small squeeze, only to be pulled in for a hug. He gasps in surprise.

“Thank you Henrik,” she whispers. Henrik nods and returns the hug, holding her tightly until she signals to let go. Stacy picks up her bag and leaves.

Henrik sits back down and takes out his cellphone to call the egos. Jackie picks up after the first ring.

“Henrik? Are you okay?”

“I want you to clean the house and make some hot chocolate. We’ve got a new roommate coming to stay with us!” Henrik announces.

“Is it Chase? Is that who we’re taking in?” Jackie asks.

“Yes. I want everything to be perfect, so go! Get cleaning!” the doctor commands.

“Need us to pick you up?” Marvin suggests.

“I can drive just fine! See you soon!” Henrik hangs up just as Chase begins to stir. The doctor watches him apprehensively. He hasn’t seen Chase since the argument. How will he react?

Chase groggily opens his eyes. He can see a bright light shining down on him and closes his eyes. “Where… where am I?”

He slowly attempts to sit up. A soft pair of hands gently help him sit up and rub his back. 

Chase blinks, trying to clear his vision. The blurry blue shape slowly comes into view… Henrik! The good doctor sits beside him with an anxious expression on his face.

Chase wracks his memory to try to remember what had happened. He can feel a heavy fabric wrapped around his head. He lifts a hand to better investigate… oh.

Henrik’s heart breaks when he sees Chase drop his hand, expression forlorn. Here we go, he thinks.

“Chase?” Chase looks up. “Before you say anything, know that you have every right to be mad at me and Jack. What we did was despicable and absolutely awful. You don’t have to forgive us, and I completely understand if you never do. But you can’t be alone right now. You’re going through a really tough time, and the last thing you need to be is alone. I don’t know if you’ll accept it, but we have an extra room at home that would be a perfect spot for you to stay while you recover. I know you might not want to talk to me, but Jackie and Marvin are living with me, and they will ensure your time there will be as comfortable as possible. It’s fine if you don’t want to go, but just know that we will always be there when you need a place to stay.”

Chase is silent, simply gazing at Henrik with unshed tears. Finally, he throws his arms around Henrik’s neck. Henrik startles, but returns the hug.

“Is that a yes?” Henrik mumbles. Chase nods. Henrik sighs in relief and squeezes Chase tighter. Now all he has to do is hope Jackie and Marvin have the house ready by the time he returns.

Henrik parks the car in the driveway and turns to Chase. The vlogger fidgets with his t-shirt. Henrik puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Just warning you now, while Jackie and Marvin have good hearts and intentions, they can be little shits and there’s a good chance the house will still be a mess when we get back in. Good luck.”

Chase whimpers in fear. Henrik nods solemnly. “My thoughts exactly.”

The fathers unload the car and walk up to the front steps. Henrik takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“FIFTEEN FUCKING POINTS! I WIN AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!” Jackie screeches. Marvin roars in anger and tosses a pillow at Jackie, who backhands it. The pillow soars across the house and slams into Henrik, who grunts in alarm and falls backward. Chase shrieks in alarm, gaping at his fallen friend.

Marvin and Jackie turn around, bright blue eyes glaring into Chase. Marvin’s eye twitches sporadically and Jackie smiles like a madman. Chase nervously waves. Marvin clears his throat and forces a sleep-deprived smile.

“Howdy, Chase!”

#attempted suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw #blood mention tw #extreme distress tw #apparently i can write #jacksepticeye #dr. schneeplestein #chase brody #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #writersofjack #writers of jack

[multifandomfanficreclist]

James Bond Mass Fic Post

These are all 00Q unless otherwise stated.

**

The Courtship of Mr. Bond

In which Bond is a retired naval commander with too much house, Q is a mechanical engineer with too many sisters, and they have lengthy conversations about decorum, bonnet-ribbons and philosophy in Regency England.

~

“I just thought you might go pay a visit," his mother suggested.

“Me?” Q asked, aghast. “Pay a visit?”

“He must be starved for proper gentleman company, now that he’s settled in so far from London--”

“I am far from proper gentleman company.”

“--and perhaps if you befriended him he could introduce you to some nice heiresses.”

“Heiresses?” Q repeated, baffled and horrified. “What in the world would I do with heiresses?”

***

Offline

Bond isn't sure what to think of the new Quartermaster, of the high tech gear and the way the man is always in his ear thanks to mandatory ear pieces for all agents. The old Q hadn't required those things after all, and everything had worked fine. But Bond is a risk now, after Vesper, seeming to kill without noticing, without caring, and there are quiet rumors that he wont seduce his targets anymore, and that his drinking is out of control, so Q is told to keep a sharp eye on him and his mental health. Bond is irritated with the constant presence of Q, but somehow their traded insults turn into teasing jabs, and then genuine affection, and eventually they move from talking via earpiece on missions to texting every day, with messages growing more and more explicit as time goes on. But Q is nothing less than professional whenever Bond is around, and the agent has a hard time reconciling the aloof Quartermaster with the teasing devil that has him bringing himself off desperately at night to the naughty texts. Q is a man connected to his tech, and Bond is a man living in the field, and the only way to be together is offline somewhere. But which one is going to take the first step?

**

Sweet As

It’s not—the word has so much damned stigma, really.  He’s not stupid.   He likes it all: the slow, sweet drag of something thick and lovely inside his body and the fast, beating pulse that comes from fucking himself so hard and fast his wrist cramps up.  He just hasn’t seen fit to add anyone to it.  To sex.  With him.  So sure, he’s a—well, technically.

***

A Harsh and Dreadful Thing

And the first thing James asked was: "Why does my head hurt?"

And Q answered: "You got shot in the eye."

Bond blinked with his good eye. "Well, shit."

**

By No Ordinary Means of Communication

Q can’t help but wonder how, exactly, his life has come to this.

(The one where Bond discovers post-it notes, Q discovers how not to talk about feelings, and together, they fight crime make things far more complicated than necessary.)

***

Prowl

Because there's nothing Bond likes better than getting someone by the back of the neck.

"He tried not to think of guns or knives or straight razors, of explosives or blood or the soft throats of women. He tried for a moment not to think at all.

...he was being touched by the most dangerous man he knew, and the hazard of it snared him like a bird."

**

Smash and Grab

Sometimes Bond found suave wasn’t entirely the most reliable option. Sometimes the smash and grab approach was far, far better.

***

Where You Are

An Omega unable to create life is a creature to be pitied, or at least, that is what society says. Q is fine with it, really. He had never wanted children anyway...and settling down with a mate never truly sounded appealing. So he’s fine with it: being alone, bearing no children. It’s fine.

Until it isn’t.

**

Adjust as Needed

This was part of a pile of 00Q disability-and-kink fics I just found randomly sitting in my Google Drive. Enjoy a Q that is both badass and realistic about his energy needs.

CW: Brief unsolicited groping by an intoxicated stranger.

***

Yours, J.

Bond sends letters. Q is vexed. Q-branch starts a betting pool. There are an appalling amount of sweets. Also, 002 is a bit of an arse.

**

Redamancy

If you write something on your skin, then it will show up on your soulmate's skin as well.

James doesn't quite fall in love over physics discussions and cheeky book quotes scrawled over his heart, coding and riddles inked onto his skin, but he comes close. He does.

And then he actually meets Q.

***

Curtains

Indulgent domesticity. No real plot to speak of, just Bond and Q moving in together as friends after Q is targeted and his place burnt down, and slowly progressing to being a couple.

**

Lay it Down

Bond and Q agreed: their relationship was nothing more than physical. Until it suddenly isn't.

(Or alternatively: The one in which Q gets sick, Bond takes care of him, and the truth comes out.)

***

Skyfall Lodge

After Silva's escape from MI6 custody, Alec Trevelyan drags MI6's new, brilliant Quartermaster to the safest place he knows: Skyfall Lodge, home of reclusive ex-soldier, James Bond.

Grudgingly, Q accepts the technological isolation as necessary for his own safety, and he begins to regard Bond as a possible diversion to pass the time until Silva is eliminated and it's safe for Q to return to London. He never expects Bond to become so much more.

**

Blue Eyed Monster

Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position.  Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed

Enter MI6's new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile.   Curious 00-agents and young boffins don't always mix in predictable ways...

***

Quriosity

COMPLETE!  Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.

Excerpt:

"Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally." In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q's pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond's cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss.

"You're wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line." The words slipped out of Bond's mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn't realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.

**

The Haunting of Skyfall Lodge

All his life, Q has seen ghosts. For years, he's searched for scientific proof to back up what he knows to be true. Finally, he starts a YouTube channel to chronicle his adventures of exploring haunted sites.

His latest location: Skyfall Lodge.

#James Bond #random fandom #00q #bond/q #fanfic #fanficrec #fanfiction #a03

[evakuality]

This is the fourth in an ongoing series comparing Isak and Matteo.  The previous episodes can be found here:

Episode one

Episode two

Episode three

This episode starts quite differently for each of the boys.  Isak is surrounded by his friends, and while he’s included in the room, he’s tuned out of the conversation and his (valid!!!) concerns about the way the flat will be able to continue with 4 people in 3 rooms are dismissed.  Matteo is alone in his room but he’s happy.  He gets a text from his mother which makes him smile and he is cheerful enough with Hans even before he gets a message from David, even comfortable enough to ‘help’ by cheekily throwing slippers at Hans when he asks.  His mood is presumably lifted already because of the situation the night before.  Even before getting the message, Matteo seems to be riding high on having almost kissed David.  It’s hard to know why he’s so much better affected than Isak in this case, but perhaps it’s because it’s been much slower and more natural as a progression.  Isak is still on edge a bit because Even has a girlfriend who he ‘can’t dump’ and he’s being treated pretty badly in this conversation with Eskild.  Eskild has no tact at all and his commentary that Isak is ‘jealous’ just because he doesn’t like being talked about in such a way as if he’s not even there is plain weird.  Matteo’s version of this conversation, by contrast, doesn’t hold the same tension.  Mia already lives in the flat, no-one is acting as if she’s in a competition for ‘most appreciated flatmate’ with Matteo which Isak is kind of dealing with.  Matteo isn’t really involved in this conversation, and is just as caught up in figuring out the ‘right’ message to send David as Isak is with Even, but he’s voluntarily spending time near other people.  For the first time, he’s not really isolating himself in this space.  It’s not fully engaging with the group, but it’s a nod to feeling more comfortable around others - until his contribution gets shut down, that is.  

Isak now gets to have another meeting with Even where they agree to pregame together before the party that weekend.  It’s a really good example of why Isak thinks Even is a bit hot and cold: he preferred to spend time with Sonja in the weekend when Isak (obliquely) suggested spending time with him, but now he’s initiating contact and being all suave and cool.  There’s still some air of mystique here, but they have concrete plans and they obviously are on the same page, which must be reassuring for Isak after Friday and after some of the pointed remarks from the others about people who want to be with you choosing to spend time with you.  Matteo, on the other hand, sees David from a distance while he’s talking with Sara.  At this point he’s much less sanguine about David’s feelings because he didn’t answer the messages and they haven’t met up again.  His buzz from the day after the party is gone.  The conversation with Sara shows he was paying attention to Mia and her problems and that he likes and trusts Sara enough to have those conversations, the low key everyday ones, with her.  There’s no way Isak would talk with Emma like this, and the connection between Matteo and Sara is one of the bigger differences between them.  He genuinely likes and enjoys spending time with her.  I think he’d be really happy with that relationship if he could keep it as a friendship rather than the romance she wants it to be and thinks it is.

The set up of the birthday for Magnus vs Abdi is a bit different too.  Jonas is hurt by Isak’s lack of invitation to the pregame he hosted, and Isak tries very hard to downplay what happened and what he was doing.  This is obviously different to Matteo’s situation because Matteo had all his friends at his party so there’s a totally different vibe to how this works.  Jonas kind of hints that he wants Isak to come to something for Magnus and they talk in a lot more detail about what they will do for it and how they will set Magnus up with some girls.  Again we see the difference between Isak and Matteo: Isak is fully engaged in this conversation about sex, whereas Matteo in similar situations backs off and tunes out.  It says a lot about how they engage with heterosexuality.  Isak at this point is still very much engaged with this type of discussion and he seems much more interested and at ease with the concept even if he’s not interested in it for himself, with girls anyway.  Matteo is the one who comes up with the idea of the party for Abdi after Jonas says they should do something, and while they talk about getting him a woman it’s not the same sort of explicit talk that Isak and Jonas have.  That makes sense, partly because they have less time on their way to exams, but also partly because Matteo is less vocal than Isak anyway and far less interested in the sex talk the other boys take so much delight in.

At this point we see Matteo’s stress reactions again, with the way he finds all the noise etc so distracting and overwhelming during his exam.  This is one way he differs from Isak as well.  Isak’s issues stem from difficulty sleeping and he masks them well most of the rest of the time.  Matteo doesn’t really mask his at all.  His panic attack earlier and this moment both really drive home just how much he’s dealing with and how hard it is for him to control.  Of course, this allows him to go to the bathroom and coincidentally run into David so they do get their moment together here but unlike with Even there’s no firm commitment to see each other.  Having said that, Matteo is the one who suggests another meeting for toasties so again we see Matteo being more proactive than Isak, where Even is the one who makes the approach.  

Isak is rightfully surprised when Emma comes and tells him that she’s going to the pregame with him when he’d thought he and Even had an understanding and also there’s a weird presumption that Emma will be included when she and Isak are not actually together and he is understandably confused about why she’s involved.  Whereas Matteo’s situation is very different.  When Sara comes to him, he’s just been schooled by Amira about homosexuality and he’s feeling exposed and vulnerable and so this is one of the very few times he actually deploys Sara as a ‘cover’ the way Isak does so readily.  Ironically in this case, Isak is annoyed by Emma’s talk but he’s not using her a cover in the same way.  His ‘I don’t go around thinking about homosexuality all the time’ is much more convincing than Matteo’s.  He seems genuinely annoyed that Sana is addressing that part of his talk rather than addressing the main point of what he was asking which is why be religious in this day and age.  Of course, he brings up homosexuality because of the connection to religion via his mother’s texts, and it is what he wants to know but he covers for this much better than Matteo does.  Matteo seems really unsettled by it, his is more of an outburst and it’s clear that Amira’s words have affected him.

When we get to the party/pregame itself the differences are really obvious.  Isak is stuck in a really awkward situation where Emma and Sonja are having a great time together, getting along like a house on fire.  The whole group have clearly been sitting there for quite some time and Isak is bored.  Bored and awkward.  Matteo starts with just him and Sara, and when he calls for backup it’s Jonas he wants.  Worse, he says he’s ‘on my own’ which Sara rightly calls him on.  The dynamic is totally different here.  It’s just the two of them and he isn’t all that excited about it.  She’s happy and excited to be here with him helping out like this is a proper relationship, but he is still keeping the brakes on and trying not to be too physical with her, not engaging in her suggestions etc.  It feels like he wants Jonas there as buffer against being too intimate.  Isak, for once, is the one who is tuned out.  He only joins in the conversation when it has anything to do with new information about Even, otherwise he’s checked out for most of it, even looking in the opposite direction a lot of the time, though he does sneak glances at Even a reasonable amount.  When Sonja leaves, Isak finds it really awkward.  He’s unsure how this will go or what he should do.  It’s an uncomfortable moment he’s just witnessed and he’s not at ease here at all.  Matteo changes when David arrives, going from trying to delicately keep away from Sara to actively antagonizing her.  He’s reminded of David obviously and doesn’t want to be coupley in front of him.  Their greeting was so unnatural and he’s feeling the strain now.  So he’s not awkward at all, instead acting very deliberately to get Sara off his back.

So the way they two couples leave is different, too, because of the differences in the situations that have been set up here.  Even does it on a whim because of 21.21, after no discussion at all and Isak is willing to follow just as easily.  He’s bored and all he cares about is Even, probably wanted Even to himself for this evening anyway and isn’t going to pass up the chance to be alone with him.  Matteo is clearly stressed and angry, irritated by Sara and the situation, knows he’s been shitty.  So when David asks if he’s okay and he says no, he wants to leave because he wants to get out of the situation just as much as he wants to be alone with David.  The ‘running’ itself is similar, with Even and David both knowing where they’re going and Isak and Matteo following willingly enough (with Isak even physically giving up all power to Even on the back of the bike).  The difference is that, as we see later, Matteo and David spend a fair bit of time at the abandoned place before they get into the pool.  They’ve had time to be at ease and to enjoy spending silly time together whereas Isak is still off balance (literally and figuratively) and so he’s more wary and hesitant.  

The moments for both when they get into the respective pools are charged in similar ways, but with Matteo and David it’s much more deliberate.  It feels like they both know what’s coming and are ready for it.  Isak and Even fall into the pool by accident, and while Even clearly brings him into this place to take him to the pool to recreate the underwater Romeo and Juliet kiss, the actual moment in the pool comes across as more organic.  Even sounds it out bit by bit and Isak takes his lead.  There’s banter and a game and it’s all designed to be plausibly deniable.  Isak’s relief and delight is so clear after the first kiss that the second is inevitable even in the scenario of the game.  While Matteo and David share this dynamic of teasing and banter that’s carried on from the previous stairway ‘directing’ moment, the time in the pool is much more heightened much more quickly.  The way David circles Matteo and the deliberate step he takes to get close to him, it’s obvious what’s going to happen.  They both play at the ‘game’ with Matteo jump start at David and David’s ‘I won’ after the kiss.  But they both know what’s happening much earlier than Isak does, I think.  This has been building for weeks now, whereas Isak has only thought of the possibility as real for a much shorter time.  Even has been a much more absent figure and so Isak’s dealings with him and his thoughts about him have been much more fantasy-esque.  David has been a genuine presence for Matteo for longer and I think for both this has been inevitable since the almost kiss.  The deliberate way both leaned in at that moment sealed then what happens here, whereas for Isak everything was still much more up in the air.  He was more hesitant during that almost kiss (having just learned about the amount of time Even and Sonja had been together) and so the way this one played out is more feeling out a possibility than a knowledge of the inevitable.  

Again, I think the ways in which Matteo is more proactive play out in the different vibes in what happens for each couple here.  Matteo isn’t more confident; Isak is probably the more confident of the two in terms of being in the world and engaging with what’s around him.  He’s better able to talk his way out of awkward situations and go with the flow of life as it happens.  But Matteo is definitely more likely to go for what he wants when he wants it at this point.  Part of that is, again, because of the differences between Even and David and the ways in which Even having a girlfriend vs David not having one change how they act and react.  But part of it is how secure Isak and Matteo seem in knowing who they are.  Matteo is checked out of his life, but he sure knows who he is and he sure knows what he wants and how to get it.  He knows that what David makes him feel is good and he wants to keep it and is in fact quite proactive in trying to make sure it happens.  Isak’s one attempt at being proactive fell flat when Even put him off for Sonja and so he feels stuck in a situation where he has to react to Even rather than put himself forward, and because he really is still stuck in his ‘I’m straight and a player’ persona.  Not to mention that Even is still occupying a ‘hot, unattainable suave older guy’ role for Isak in a lot of ways.  Matteo has no such problems because David, while still being a little mysterious, is far more reactive when Matteo approaches him, and Matteo doesn’t have as much desire to play up his heterosexuality.  This has been true through the whole season so far and allows Matteo to be more active at this point now that he’s found someone to shake him out of his apathy.  Isak is still in a place where he’s being swept away rather than taking as much of an active role in the sweeping.  That side of their relationship comes later for him once he has a better idea of who Even is as a person rather than as an icon.

Episode five can be found here

#druck #skam #my meta stuff #my isak and matteo comparison stuff

[terrellrigby]

How To Merge PDF, MP3, Video And Text Paperwork In Windows 10

These audio cutter software program functions not only let you trim pointless components from audio files, but additionally embody options like multi-format assist, segment trimming, merge functionality, and a lot more. Weeny Free Audio Cutter must be another audio merging and splitting software program for you. The software program supports MP3, OGG, WMA and WAV information as the enter audio formats, the DRM protected WMA files excluded. Due to the built-in audio editor of Weeny Free Audio Cutter is very helpful for creating custom ringtones or managing lengthy audio recording files. One more reason to decide on the software program must be the completely different parameters you possibly can choose to regulate the audio information, such as the sampling frequency, merge mp3s channel mode and audio bitrate. Just add multiple audio information into the record, merge mp3s and merge these recordsdata into one audio file with the software program now. For MP3 Merger, it does not matter if the audio information you're merging are available in a single or different formats. Merge MP3 can be part of mp3 files in a wide range of audio formats, encoded with completely different codecs utilizing completely different settings. It's straightforward to hitch information you downloaded together even when all of them come in several codecs. One of many nifty things about Windows is that you can do numerous cool stuff using the base command line utilities that include the operating system. The copy command, for example, can truly merge MP3s into one. It is a free tool which can merge MP3 information. It could actually merge from 2 to 9999 MP3 information into one MP3 file to allow you to have the ability to handle your seperated MP3 musical recordsdata higher. After I open my apps, I have to click on "Run As Administrator", and the few events I forgot to do this and simply opened the app and tried merging the recordsdata, NOTHING happened - no merger handed off. Aside from merging, Free Merge MP3 additionally works as an audio converter which allows you exchange between practically all audio codecs in batches. Whereas Free MP3 Cutter Joiner performs the functions it advertises and exactly splits audio information, it doesn't have many different features. You'll be able to merge an unlimited number of recordsdata into an enormous MP3 file, however be careful not to exceed the free house on your exhausting drive when creating the new file. Becoming a member of MP3 files leads to a separate track saved in a folder of your choosing, so in case your enter files whole 2GB in measurement, your output file will take up the identical amount of hard drive house. Note: For efficiency causes, the Mass Merge Duplicates command processes a most of 100 data. To merge greater than 100 information, run the command repeatedly till all duplicates are merged. Moreover customary MP3 format, MP3 Toolkit helps most of widespread audio & video formats like WMA, WMV, MP4, WAV, OGG, FLV, MOV, M4P, M4A and extra, additionally supports top quality audio like FLAC and APE. With MP3 Toolkit, you are able to convert, reduce, merge, rip and report MP3. With the track within the clipboard left click on on the situation of the other monitor the place you wish to paste your music into. Should you just need to merge, click on the place at the very end of the observe and press Ctrl-V so as to add the music there. You possibly can select some other place should you choose that. No designer should work in a vacuum, and any piece of design can profit from a second set of important eyes. My expertise working with Merge's art director, Maggie Fost, was a constructive one despite the challenge we faced by advantage of working in several cities (Windfall, RI, and Durham, NC) and communicating via electronic mail and phone. Each of us would have most well-liked spending at least a while collaborating throughout the table from each other, however that is not at all times doable. Regardless, I consider the challenge benefited significantly from every of our insights and contributions to the design course of. The processing speed of Fre MP3 Joiner is remarkably good, because it took it beneath 5 seconds to merge 21 minutes of audio. Aconvert is another functional and great online mp3 merger software. The program helps merging of audio with identical bit price and format and can add up to 200MB. Mark Delete source constituent to delete the record when the method is full. To confirm that all info was merged accurately, do not mark this checkbox. The report could be deleted manually later. I would like to be able to merge a few MP3 tracks into one. The merge tracks characteristic lets you choose a monitor and merge it in an present one. A cool function once you have used 2- above: you'll be able to merge again the drum tracks onto one once you're carried out. If more than one duplicate entry exists, the Individuals-Merge Individual window shows the quantity of duplicate information in the type of a percentage that you would be able to select. Audio Editor - Merge, Break up And Edit is a sound modifying program for macOS. This software permits you to edit any audio file on your pc. You may immediately edit songs and recordings by slicing, copying, pasting and deleting the selected areas. The app is easy to make use of, you can save and open your venture. You can do your all working on timeline, it's so handy. The Spider Audio 's splitter circuit has but more uses. Routing a Remix aux send output to the splitter input allows you to create a 4-method parallel effects chain (simply take each cut up of the signal to an impact of your alternative). Using effects in parallel produces a different sound to chained results, permitting each processor to cleanly add its own therapy to the combo, unaffected by the others. The impact outputs will in all probability should be blended somewhere, so why not use the merging circuit on the identical Spider Audio, if nothing fancy is required? Simply take the last stereo output from each of the four chains and patch them to the inputs of the merge circuit. The merged output can then be routed to the original Remix send's aux return (see screen, right).

Bid now within the Merge Records auction to benefit the Southern Poverty Legislation Center and their initiatives to combat hate and bigotry. Auction winners obtain an exclusive edition of Superchunk's vinyl 7" launch. Whenever you export a undertaking to a format, reminiscent of a WAV or MP3 file, Audacity will merge the tracks together into both a stereo or mono file, relying on what you could have selected in your preferences. Why would anyone need to merge audio information collectively? In many situations, having a single audio file is just extra convenient than combating a number of fragments. For instance, you may wish to stick pieces of recorded conversations together to have a single presentation. Or you might need to merge fragments comprising a recording of a class, lecture or presentation. Lastly, you might just need to eliminate the clutter, merging a zoo of different formats into thematic mixes.

[jkottke]

Life Without the Everything Store

Kashmir Hill is a remarkable and inventive reporter. She came up with a great concept called "Goodbye Big Five": one by one, she'd try to cut out the biggest digital companies in the world from her life (Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, and Microsoft). She started with the toughest: Amazon.

Amazon is not just an online store--that's not even the hardest thing to cut out of my life. Its global empire also includes Amazon Web Services (AWS), the vast server network that provides the backbone for much of the internet, as well as Twitch.tv, the broadcasting behemoth that is the backbone of the online gaming industry, and Whole Foods, the organic backbone of the yuppie diet.

Keeping myself from walking into a Whole Foods is easy enough, but I also want to stop using any of Amazon's digital services, from Amazon.com (and its damn app) to any other websites or apps that use AWS to host their content. To do that, I enlist the help of a technologist, Dhruv Mehrotra, who built me a custom VPN through which to route my internet requests. The VPN blocks any traffic to or from an IP address controlled by Amazon. I connect my computers and my phone to the VPN at all times, as well as all the connected devices in my home; it's supposed to weed out every single digital thing that Amazon touches.

How'd it work? Well, things got rough.

On the second morning of the block, I hear my daughter in the living room with my husband screaming "Alessa, Alessa!" They forgot that the voice of the Amazon Echo, Alexa, has been banished from the house. The block is especially tough on my one-year-old daughter, Ellev, both because the Echo provides the sole source of music in our household and because Ellev is obsessed with three movies (Coco, Monsters Inc., and The Incredibles), all of which we usually watch either through Netflix or through videos purchased via Amazon.

Ellev is not happy about my experiment particularly because my long-winded explanations about why she can't listen to "E-I-E-I-O" or watch "Incwedibles" make zero sense to her. The low point of the week is when she cries for the Incredibles for a solid five minutes one afternoon, though I manage to distract her, eventually, with puzzle pieces.

It's not just entertainment, though; a good deal of fundamental communications tools run on AWS, including Signal and Slack. Hill soon discovers, though, that there are some benefits to being less online.

My husband and I break our habit of watching shows on Netflix at the end of the day, opting to read instead or indulge our newfound obsession with cribbage, a card game I had assumed was boring until I started playing it. Also, since we mostly use Signal to text each other, I find myself sending him fewer texts and instead talk to him about things IRL.

We also wean our daughter from much of her screen time, which means quality time playing with her or taking her to a playground rather than giving her a "movie treat." I go running outside rather than doing my three miles on a treadmill watching Netflix. In general, having access to fewer parts of the internet makes me use technology less, which is increasingly my goal in life.

Less internet also means less surveillance--from coworkers (via Slack and other tools) and from Amazon itself, which could be mining the sheer amount of data it manages for insights into consumer and commercial usage, both individually and in the aggregate. In short, Hill concludes, Amazon's indispensability is itself tremendously troubling.

[rksora]

AS OF 2019    ━━━━━━━━        template ┊ @astraofrph  ◞  ❤

❥ ┊ BASIC INFORMATION  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   full name  park jiwon ┊ 박지원

›   pronunciation 

›   meaning

›   reasoning  jiwon is a popular name, her mom wanted her to be popular ( lol joke’s on her! )

›   nickname ( s )

›   preferred name ( s )

›   birth date march 20, 1999

›   age  nineteen

›   zodiac  pisces  ・ water sign ┊ the fish. pisces are sensitive little weirdos. they’re intuitive and emotional, passive, and deeply concerned with what people think of them; they have a tendency to be fairly self-depreciating as a result of this. pisceans are gentle and kind, but pessimistic too, and will easily compromise on their beliefs if they think it will make other people like them.

›   gender / pronouns  female ┊ she / her / hers

›   romantic orientation  biromantic

›   sexual orientation  bicurious

›   nationality  korean

›   ethnicity  korean

›   current residence  hapjeong-dong, mapo-gu, seoul

›   living conditions  adequate to agreeable ┊ practical for a one person

›   trainee title ( s )  little bird

❥ ┊ BACKGROUND  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   birth place  dongjak-gu, seoul

›   hometown  jingwan-dong, eunpyeong-gu, seoul

›   social class  lower middle class ┊ when she was younger she was closer to the poverty line until her mom met her step-dad

›   education level completion @ unnamed high school 

›   father  kim sangil, 50 ┊ business man

›   mother  park yerin, 46 ┊ housewife, part-time at butcher shop  

›   step-father   ham kihyun, 45 ┊ butcher shop owner 

›   half-sibling ( s )  ham jisung, 10 ┊ primary school kid  

›   birth order  ( 1 ) jiwon ( 2 ) jisung

›   children

›   pet ( s ) her brother, jisung, has a pet goldfish and while jiwon has always wanted a dog, she isn’t financially equipped to have one

›   other important relatives

›   previous relationships  ( 16 / 17 ) she dated a boy in high school who took her heart and her purity and threw it into the dirt

›   criminal record

❥ ┊ OCCUPATION & INCOME  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   primary source of income  trainee under kt entertainment ( as of november 12, 2018 )

›   secondary source of income  sometimes her mom sends her money but jiwon sends it right back so her mom compromised and asks her to come home to pick up food 

›   tertiary source( s ) of income  she still gets her checks from the thrift shop because boss yang thinks she can’t take care of herself ( one of these days she’s going to give him a stern talking to !! )

›   approximate amount per year

›   content with their job ( or lack there of ) ? somewhat, she’s neither disinterested or wholly elated. she’s just ... passing time, oddly enough.

›   past job ( s )  jjangtime thrift shop employee

›   spending habits  spends a little too carelessly at the gs25 near her house in hapjeong ; is sad that she didn’t utilize her discount at jjangtime as well as she should have

›   most valuable possession  ... the ‘letters’ she thinks her dad sent her but were really from her mom 

❥ ┊ SKILLS & ABILITIES  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   physical strength she’s 49kg of weak muscle

›   stamina 0 / 10 as referenced through her Fainting at practices

›   teamwork 8 / 10 at teamwork as she’s usually a Follower

›   talents  dancing, faking a Smile, somehow keeping friends even though she’s a pretty shitty friend?

›   shortcomings  gets winded really easily ; doesn’t have a lot of ambition / determination ; feels doubtful and anxious in unfamiliar settings ; does not like Change

›   language( s )  korean ( fluent ), english ( conversational ), ksl ( basic )

›   can they : drive / jump-start a car / change flat tire / ride a bicycle / swim / play an instrument ( and what instrument ) / play chess / braid hair / tie a tie / pick a lock / etc:

❥ ┊ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS  ━━━━━

›   face claim  park jiwon, fromis9

›   eye color brown

›   hair color ( naturally dark brown / black ) but dyed blonde with hot pink tips

›   hair type / style thin, usually down ; slightly wavy if air-dried

›   glasses / contacts  wears ‘fashion’ glasses that don’t have a prescription, sometimes

›   dominant hand  left-handed

›   height / weight / build  159cm, 5'2" ┊ 49kg, 108lbs ┊ petite

›   exercise habits  prior to working at kt, she had none, but since then has actively gone to yoga every afternoon

›   skin tone  fair / tans easily

›   tattoos

›   piercings  pierced ear lobes

›   marks / scars two moles on her left shoulder blade that looks like a colon ( : )

›   notable features  dimpled right cheek that is prominent whenever she smiles a little

›   usual expression withdrawn, anxious ┊ example

›   clothing style  casual ┊ thrift shop hipster

›   jewelry

›   allergies  bananas, peanuts

›   body temperature  neither runs too hot nor too cold, but does get cold easily

›   diet whatever at the convenience store for Sale is a Go

›   physical ailments

❥ ┊ PSYCHOLOGY  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   jung type  isfp / isfj ┊ emotional af but they don’t show it ; softies at heart ; more attentive than they let on ; still, reading between the lines ain’t their forte ; aesthetics master ; are more spontaneous and fun than they look ; have quirky interests that may shock you 

›   enneagram type

›   moral alignment  chaotic good

›   temperament  melancholic ┊70% ; phlegmatic ┊30%

›   element  water

›   primary intelligence type  intrapersonal intelligence 

›   approximate iq

›   mental conditions / disorders

›   sociability 7 / 10

› �� emotional stability  5.5 / 10

›   obsession ( s )  

›   compulsion ( s ) 

›   phobia ( s )  scared of heights ( includes: roller coasters, being high on an escalator, plane, building )

›   vice / addiction ( s ) 

›   drug use

›   alcohol use  2 / 10 ┊ a social drinker who will only drink when around others who are

›   prone to  deprecating thoughts, sarcastic remarks, silently judging from the side, being more Fake than one would expect

❥ ┊ MANNERISMS  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   speech style 

›   accent  slight accent when speaking english

›   quirks  likes to crack her back, gets annoyed easily, wears glasses but doesn’t need them, types texts with her thumb

›   hobbies  dancing, fashion, origami, filming, watching movies, telling ghost stories, 

›   habits  heavy breath that blows her hair away from her face, full pouts, deadpan expression, eye rolls, small fists, constantly apologizing, 

›   nervous ticks  pinching, chewing bottom lip, biting inside of her cheek

›   drives/motivations  wanting to prove people wrong ( 25% )

›   fears  of heights, of never being good enough, of disappointing people who mean most to her

›   positive traits  humble, loyal, selfless

›   negative traits  pessimistic, realistic, blunt

›   sense of humor  sarcastic / memes

›   do they curse often? ... perhaps

›   catchphrase ( s )  “ can you not. ”  /  “ why. ”  /  “ what the fuck. ”

❥ ┊ FAVORITES  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   activity  watching movies

›   animal  capybara

›   beverage  strawberry milk ┊  brown sugar milk tea

›   book

›   celebrity

›   color  black / red

›   designer lol she’s too poor, sorrys

›   food  caramel candies, samgyetang, kimchi jjigae, fried chicken and pickled radish, ice cream

›   flower  sunflower

›   gem  (maybe her birthstone?)

›   holiday  halloween  ∙  children’s day  ∙  black day

›   mode of transportation  normally uses the bus; though, on the weekends is more prone to using the subway

›   movie  can’t buy me love  ∙  the beauty inside  ∙  my sassy girl ∙  100 days with mr. arrogant  ∙  200 pound beauty  ∙  the way he looks  ∙  pulp fiction  ∙  fight club  ∙  moulin rouge  ∙  romeo & juliet  ∙  superbad  ∙  slumdog millionaire  ∙  moulin rouge  ∙  the grand budapest hotel  ∙  the martian  ∙  gone girl

›   musical artist  주영 jooyoung  ∙  크러쉬 crush  ∙  헤이즈 heize  ∙  frank sinatra  ∙  stevie wonder  ∙  아이유 IU  ∙  애쉬뮤트 ashmute  ∙  bevy maco  ∙  콜드 colde  ∙  쎄이 saay

›   quote / saying  expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.

›   scenery  fresh snow on the ground

›   scent  

›   sport  volleyball, i guess

›   sports team

›   television show  the good place  ∙  my fair lady gongshim  ∙  cunning single lady  ∙  meteor garden  ∙  sex education

›   weather  cold / chilly

›   vacation destination  somewhere outside of seoul, preferably easily accessible via a car or bus ride

❥ ┊ ATTITUDES  ━━━━━━━━━━━

›   greatest dream  to get her father to Notice her

›   greatest fear  disappointing those she Loves most, Not being good Enough, being Replaced ( in that order )

›   most at ease when  doing nothing, laying in bed, watching movies

›   least at ease when  trying to adjust to change, in unfamiliar settings, when she says the Wrong thing, foot in the mouth disease

›   worst possible thing that could happen  when she gets her foot in the mouth disease

›   biggest achievement ( currently ) becoming a trainee at kt

›   biggest regret ( currently ) becoming a trainee at kt

›   most embarrassing moment  her mom groveled at @rkxhyunjin​‘s feet to tutor her in front of his entire school during the afternoon

›   biggest secret  she’s a child out of wedlock and her dad pretty much paid her off to not contact him

›   top priorities  ( 1 )  proving to her dad that she’s not a waste of time  ( 2 ) being more considerate of others  ( 3 ) start doing better and taking being a trainee seriously 

#❥ ┊ her . #this was honestly so Long it took me two hours to complete

[theletterspage]

Max Porter, our Bath correspondent, in conversation with The Letters Page

(Illustration: Natasha Nayee)

The arrival of Max Porter’s letter for The Letters Page, Vol 3, was one of the highlights of our editorial year, featuring as it did a correspondence with John Berger and an enthusiastic endorsement of fraternal hugs. We caught up with him again recently, and asked him to tell us about his new book; he told us about much more besides. 

Words by Kyle Brown, MA student in Creative Writing at the University of Nottingham. Illustration by Natasha Nayee, BA student in English at the University of Nottingham and Artist-in-Residence with The Letters Page.

‘Sorry for any typos, I was writing while being shouted at by small children,’ Max Porter tells me, via email, shortly after sending a charitably detailed response to my interview questions, with, I must note, no typos. 

He immediately strikes me as intelligent, passionate, and modest, especially regarding his 2015 breakthrough debut novel, Grief is the Thing with Feathers, for which he received the International Dylan Thomas Prize and The Sunday Times/PFD Young Writer of the Year Award, as well as being short-listed for The Guardian First Book Award and the Goldsmiths Prize. The novel tells a story of grief and recovery, following the character of Dad – a Ted Hughes scholar in mourning – his two sons, and Crow, who appears one day to offer his own unique brand of therapy, combining a Mary Poppins-like job description with several other literary devices: ‘[Crow is] kids’ books and joke books and fables and all the good stuff smashed together, and up he flies.’ Like Crow, the form and structure of Porter’s book is also an amalgamation of fable, family drama, poem, folklore, and much more, combining traditional storytelling with contemporary approaches to form in literature. Porter describes the novel as ‘a love letter to the hybrid form.’ 

There is also something particularly English about the book. Perhaps the relationship between Dad and his sons, the latter based on himself and his brother, and his own sons. Perhaps it is Dad’s introverted nature in handling sensitive issues. Or perhaps it is Crow: foul-mouthed, nanny, healer, trickster, demon-slayer, baby-sitter, crow, with his glib but highly caring attachment to Dad and his sons. Crow is by-and-large, one of the most interesting characters I have ever read. However, Porter merely agrees that the book is English: ‘painfully so, I think.’ 

Born in 1981, in High Wycombe, Max Porter lived and worked in London for many years, before moving to Bath with his wife and three children. His introduction into the literary world was not traditional. He studied a bachelor’s degree in Art History at Courtauld Institute of Art, London, which he called, ‘a very strange place,’ and remarked that he wasn’t especially happy at this time. This changed once he started his master’s degree, in Psychoanalysis and Feminism: ‘I wrote about a very Crow-like performance artist called Paul McCarthy, and that was a brilliant year. My mind was blown time and time again by some of the books I found in that library.’ 

Perhaps this was the moment of birth for Porter’s love of books and literature, as although it wasn’t until his mid-thirties that Grief is the Thing with Feathers was published, he has spent his career around books and literature, holding more behind-the-scenes roles. Initially, working in a bookshop, opening two branches of Daunt Books in London. ‘I loved it. Bookselling is wonderful. I met great people and read a lot. I read insane amounts.’ 

After ‘doing some reading for publishers’ and ‘sitting on a few panels about translated literature,’ he applied for the role of editorial director for Granta Books and Portobello Books, joining the team in 2012. ‘They took a punt on me,’ he tells me, adding, ‘Bookselling is good training for publishing. Both jobs are about the hand-sell.’ 

It was during this time that the foundations for his first novel began to take form. He would write poems and bits of prose, create drawings and music – both of which he says are part of his creative process and influential to him. ‘I was always writing, but with no serious intent. I’d started a few fables, some short pieces about siblings and memory. Doing it for love, and for fun. When I landed on the structure for Grief, I knew it was something I was taking more seriously, something I’d probably want to show people.’ He developed the smaller ideas into longer work, while working during the days and being a parent the rest of the time: ‘This was all in the evenings, after work, and when the kids were in bed; sort of a secret project.’ He tells me he didn’t think about it being published while he was writing; how to a large degree it was still for the love and enjoyment of the craft, as well as a calming distraction from his more editorial work. 

After publication, the book had almost instant success, which Porter took in what I imagine to be his usual cool and considered manner: ‘Praise is tricky, and not always good to listen to. You have to take it with a pinch of salt. Just as you would hostility.’ 

In addition to its initial success, the novel was adapted for theatre in 2018 by Irish playwright, Enda Walsh, (Once, 2012 – after the 2007 award-winning film; Lazarus, 2016 – music and lyrics by David Bowie) for the London theatre company, Complicité, and starring Cillian Murphy (Peaky Blinders, The Dark Knight Trilogy) as Dad. 

‘I loved Enda’s adaptation. He just used the text as it is, which was very flattering. And he made some lovely and profoundly well-thought-through decisions about how to portray Dad and Crow. It was a very interesting experience for me. They welcomed me in, they used my ideas, we played and fiddled with the piece and I think the result is amazing. Different to the book but singing the same song.’ 

2018 also brought the announcement of his second novel as well as the end to his stint at Granta and Portobello Books, stating, ‘It’s become too much for me, hence my leaving this year. It’s very hard to focus, to dig deep and grow as a writer, when you’re juggling dozens of other people’s books, and the thousands of accompanying emails.’ But the writer still has great affection for the publishing world, telling of his appreciation for the ‘joy of being in the middle of it all,’ aiding writings, seeing the entire process through; covers, bindings, the finishes. ‘The day to day making of books, I’ll miss that.’ 

Porter’s second novel, Lanny, is an extension of his debut’s love letter to the hybrid form. ‘It’s got some characteristics in common with Grief; a mythic character, short sections, some prose poetry, conventional narrative removed/redacted, etc. but it’s got much more of a story, and some pace, even some plot!’ 

Set in a small village sixty miles outside London, the novel tells the tale of an urban legend told by the local school children, known as ‘Dead Papa Toothwort,’ and his mysterious interest in the mischievous and enchanting boy of a family new to the village. 

If Grief is the Thing with Feathers addresses, well, grief, Lanny proposes a balm to perhaps one of the aptest of issues, our contemporary political angst. ‘We’ve all been run by maniacs. Time trundles on, and none of us survive it.’ It is in this subject that Porter’s timely binding of the historic and the contemporary finds its perfect companion - ‘I’m obsessed with the past.’ Having a great appreciation for the radical Olde English poets, the fables, the great dramas, and folklore; Porter believes that, as an individual and a society, we can’t have any healthy forward progression until we have learnt to properly appreciate what has come before us. ‘In folklore we find our richest, most radical heritage, and our best nature.’ 

So, what does the future hold for Max Porter? I doubt he will go without interests to stimulate his creativity, and knowing his career history, his love of literature and literary publishing could lead him down any number of paths. ‘I guess I’ll be working in and around publishing in some form. I’m keen to do more literacy and outreach. I’m sitting on boards and that sort of thing, so, I’ll see how the new book goes and play it by ear.’ Needless to say, I believe this author has a fruitful future ahead of him, and I am excited to see where his ambitious, form and genre merging ideas, so rich in emotion and life, will lead him next.

Max Porter’s letter appears in The Letters Page, Vol 3, which is still just about available to purchase here.

[classyfoxdestiny]

The Surveillance Apparatus That Surrounded Britney Spears

The Surveillance Apparatus That Surrounded Britney Spears

Britney Spears’s father and the security firm he hired to protect her ran an intense surveillance apparatus that monitored her communications and secretly captured audio recordings from her bedroom, including her interactions and conversations with her boyfriend and children, according to a former employee of the security firm.

Alex Vlasov, the employee, supported his claims with emails, text messages and audio recordings he was privy to in his nine years as an executive assistant and operations and cybersecurity manager for Black Box, the security firm. He came forward for a new documentary by The New York Times, “Controlling Britney Spears,” which was released on Friday.

Recording conversations in a private place and mirroring text messages without the consent of both parties can be a violation of the law. It is unclear if the court overseeing Ms. Spears’s conservatorship was aware of or had approved the surveillance.

Mr. Vlasov’s account, and his trove of materials, create the most detailed portrait yet of what Ms. Spears’s life has been like under the conservatorship for the past 13 years. Mr. Vlasov said the relentless surveillance operation had helped several people linked to the conservatorship — primarily her father, James P. Spears — control nearly every aspect of her life.

“It really reminded me of somebody that was in prison,” said Mr. Vlasov, 30. “And security was put in a position to be the prison guards essentially.”

In response to detailed questions from The Times, a lawyer for Mr. Spears issued a statement: “All of his actions were well within the parameters of the authority conferred upon him by the court. His actions were done with the knowledge and consent of Britney, her court-appointed attorney, and/or the court. Jamie’s record as conservator — and the court’s approval of his actions — speak for themselves.”

Edan Yemini, the chief executive and founder of Black Box Security, also did not respond to detailed questions. In a statement, his lawyer said, “Mr. Yemini and Black Box have always conducted themselves within professional, ethical and legal bounds, and they are particularly proud of their work in keeping Ms. Spears safe for many years.”

Ms. Spears’s lawyer, Mathew S. Rosengart, said in a statement: “Any unauthorized intercepting or monitoring of Britney’s communications — especially attorney-client communications, which are a sacrosanct part of the legal system — would represent a shameful violation of her privacy rights and a striking example of the deprivation of her civil liberties.”

“Placing a listening device in Britney’s bedroom would be particularly inexcusable and disgraceful, and corroborates so much of her compelling, poignant testimony,” Mr. Rosengart said. “These actions must be fully and aggressively investigated.”

Mr. Vlasov said his superiors had often told him that the severe surveillance measures were necessary to properly protect Ms. Spears and that she wanted to be in the conservatorship. He said he had felt compelled to share his information after hearing Ms. Spears’s comments to the court in June, when she excoriated the judicial system, her conservators and her managers. She called the arrangement abusive.

Ms. Spears’s father, who is known as Jamie, was appointed conservator in 2008, shortly after Ms. Spears was twice taken to the hospital by ambulance for involuntary psychiatric evaluations amid a series of public struggles and concerns around her mental health and potential substance abuse. He was given broad control over her life and her estate, including the power to retain round-the-clock security for Ms. Spears.

Mr. Spears and others involved in the conservatorship have insisted that it was a smooth-running operation that worked in the best interest of his daughter. But in the wake of Ms. Spears’s comments in court in June, the judge authorized her to choose her own lawyer, Mr. Rosengart, for the first time. Mr. Rosengart swiftly filed to remove Mr. Spears as the conservator of the singer’s estate. After consistently arguing that there were no grounds for his removal, Mr. Spears abruptly asked the court on Sept. 7 to consider whether to terminate the conservatorship entirely.

Mr. Rosengart’s and Mr. Spears’s requests are expected to be considered at a hearing scheduled for Sept. 29.

The security company

The security team’s role has long been a mystery.

Mr. Yemini, the Black Box Security founder, was born in Israel, and is described on a company website as having a background in the Israeli Special Forces. The Spears account helped Black Box grow from a tiny operation to a prominent player in the celebrity security industry. It counts the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey among its clients.

Mr. Vlasov joined Black Box in 2012 as a 21-year-old college student, excited by the opportunity to master the security industry. He started as Mr. Yemini’s assistant and grew into a role that encompassed wide responsibilities over operations and digital management. “I did everything from write his messages, write his emails, to be on all phone conversations in order to take notes for him,” Mr. Vlasov said. “I was the only person at Black Box that knew everything, really.”

He generally worked at Black Box’s office in the Woodland Hills area of Los Angeles and seldom saw Ms. Spears in person, he said. But through the surveillance apparatus and his close work with Mr. Yemini and his colleagues, Mr. Vlasov said, he had a uniquely comprehensive view of her life.

Mr. Vlasov said that Ms. Spears’s phone had been monitored using a clever tech setup: The iCloud account on her phone was mirrored on an iPad and later on an iPod. Mr. Yemini would have Mr. Vlasov encrypt Ms. Spears’s digital communications captured on the iPad and the iPod to send to Mr. Spears and Robin Greenhill, an employee of Tri Star Sports & Entertainment Group, the former business manager for the singer’s estate.

This arrangement allowed them to monitor all text messages, FaceTime calls, notes, browser history and photographs.

“Her own phone and her own private conversations were used so often to control her,” Mr. Vlasov said.

In response to questions about the surveillance operation, a lawyer for Tri Star Sports & Entertainment Group said: “These allegations are not true. Ms. Greenhill was only involved in Ms. Spears’ security to the extent Ms. Spears requested her involvement, as well as Tri Star’s role of issuing the payments to the security company.” The lawyer did not respond to follow-up questions specifically asking whether Ms. Greenhill had ever received copies of or reports on the contents of Ms. Spears’s text communications.

Mr. Vlasov said the reason Mr. Yemini had given for monitoring Ms. Spears’s phone was to protect her from harm and bad influences. But Mr. Spears monitored his daughter’s text-message conversations with her mother, her boyfriend, her close friends and even her court-appointed lawyer, according to screenshots of messages provided to The Times.

Mr. Vlasov’s accounts of how Ms. Spears’s life was controlled by the security team were confirmed by others with firsthand knowledge of the conservatorship who requested anonymity. They said Ms. Spears essentially could not leave her home without the presence of security personnel, who would inform Mr. Yemini, Mr. Spears and Ms. Greenhill of the singer’s movements via group chat.

As conservator of the estate, Mr. Spears controls his 39-year-old daughter’s nearly $60 million fortune and has the authority to employ workers for her.

Mr. Vlasov said Mr. Yemini and another Black Box employee had once given him a portable USB drive and asked him to delete the audio recordings on it.

“I had them tell me what was on it,” Mr. Vlasov said. “They seemed very nervous and said that it was extremely sensitive, that nobody can ever know about this and that’s why I need to delete everything on it, so there’s no record of it. That raised so many red flags with me and I did not want to be complicit in whatever they were involved in, so I kept a copy, because I don’t want to delete evidence.”

The drive, he discovered, contained audio recordings from a device that was secretly placed in Ms. Spears’s bedroom — more than 180 hours of recordings. Mr. Vlasov said he had thought the timing was curious because some of the recordings were made around the time that a court investigator visited Ms. Spears to perform a periodic review in September 2016.

The New York Times reviewed the recordings to confirm their authenticity.

When asked why he had continued working with Black Box despite harboring so many concerns, Mr. Vlasov said he had feared the amount of power Mr. Yemini and others had, and the possibility that they could damage his job prospects in the industry.

After Ms. Spears’s impassioned remarks to the court in June, Mr. Vlasov said, his mind-set changed.

Choosing to leave Black Box in April was the best decision of his life, he said, and he believes going public is the right thing to do. “I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I’ve never regretted it,” he said.

‘She did not want to be there’

Ms. Spears spent time at a mental health treatment facility in 2019 — a stay that appears to have been a turning point in the conservatorship. Who exactly sent her there, for what reason and whether she went on her own volition are in dispute.

Mr. Spears and others involved with the conservatorship have said that she consented to go to the facility and that she was aware that no one could force her to stay. Conservators are not allowed to force a conservatee into a mental health treatment facility against their will.

“She did not want to be there,” Mr. Vlasov said. “I heard this from multiple people, including Robin and Jamie themselves when they would talk on the phone to Edan. I overheard multiple conversations where they knew Britney didn’t want to be there.”

The Times obtained text messages that Ms. Spears had sent from the facility that said she felt she was there involuntarily and that she could not leave, noting that security personnel were at the door at all times. Ms. Spears told a judge later in 2019 that she had felt she was forced into the facility, according to a transcript of the closed-door hearing. She repeated that claim to the court publicly in June.

Mr. Vlasov shared digital communication that showed how Ms. Spears, while in the facility, had tried to hire a new lawyer to replace her court-appointed lawyer — and that Mr. Spears and others had monitored that effort.

The prospective lawyer asked Ms. Spears if he could come talk to her. Ms. Spears responded that she didn’t think the security personnel would let her see him. “They will say no for sure to me seeing a new lawyer on my side,” she said, and proposed that he tell the security personnel that he was a plumber instead. The lawyer declined that plan. “You have to be approved by the court before I hire you, but I don’t understand how can I know I want to hire you unless I meet with you first?” Ms. Spears wrote.

“Yes, it’s a Catch-22 situation,” the lawyer said.

In a text message sent a week after the initial exchange with the lawyer, Ms. Spears said that Mr. Spears had taken away her phone after finding out that she had been talking to a lawyer.

The lawyer confirmed to The Times that the correspondence provided by Mr. Vlasov was accurate.

Mr. Vlasov recalled that “one of the biggest ‘aha,’ red-flag moments” in his tenure at Black Box had happened in August 2020, when Ms. Spears’s court-appointed lawyer, Samuel D. Ingham III, sent an email to Mr. Spears’s lawyers and Mr. Yemini asking for written confirmation that Ms. Spears’s new phone was not being monitored.

“Ethically, I need to get written confirmation that no one other than my client can access her calls, voice-mail messages or texts directly or indirectly,” Mr. Ingham wrote in the email, which was reviewed by The Times.

Geraldine Wyle, a lawyer for Mr. Spears, responded: “Jamie confirms that he has no access to her calls, voice-mail messages, or texts.”

In response to questions from The Times about the exchange, Ms. Wyle said, “Mr. Spears’ actions have always been proper, and in strict conformity with the law, and the orders of the Los Angeles Superior Court.”

Mr. Ingham did not respond to requests for comment.

Mr. Spears was particularly interested in Ms. Spears’s boyfriends, Mr. Vlasov said. The security team tailed her boyfriends in a continuing effort to look for incriminating behavior or other evidence that they might be a bad influence on Ms. Spears, he said.

“There was an obsession with the men in Britney’s life,” Mr. Vlasov said.

Her boyfriends were required to sign strict nondisclosure agreements, Mr. Vlasov said. An agreement signed in 2020 by her boyfriend at the time, Sam Asghari, who is now her fiancé, technically forbade him to post on social media about Ms. Spears without Mr. Spears’s prior written approval.

In a confidential report by a court investigator that was obtained by The Times, the investigator wrote in 2016 that Ms. Spears had told her that she could not befriend people, especially men, without her father’s approval and that the men she wanted to date were “followed by private investigators to make sure their behaviors are acceptable to her father.”

Mr. Vlasov said that Black Box Security had billed more than $100,000 in 2014 for investigating and surveilling Ms. Spears’s boyfriend at the time. The boyfriend, David Lucado, told The Times that he had been aware at the time that he was being followed by private investigators, and he said he had called 911 twice because of dangerous tailing situations. He said he believed he might have been more of a target because he was encouraging Ms. Spears to understand her legal rights under the conservatorship.

‘Free Britney’ draws attention

Another object of intense interest among those controlling Ms. Spears’s life, Mr. Vlasov said, was the so-called Free Britney movement, a growing cohort of fans that in recent years has brought heightened attention to the conservatorship case. Black Box Security sent investigators to infiltrate the group at a rally in April 2019 and to develop dossiers on some of the more active participants.

“Undercover investigators were placed within the crowds to talk to fans to ID them, to document who they were,” Mr. Vlasov said. “It was all under the umbrella of ‘this is for Britney’s protection.’” He shared surveillance photographs with The Times that corresponded to photos posted by Free Britney participants that day.

Black Box prepared a “threat assessment report” dated July 2020 that included background information on several fans within the movement, including people who had popular podcasts and social media accounts like “Britney’s Gram,” “Eat, Pray, Britney,” “Lawyers for Britney” and Diet Prada. One activist, described as a young mother in Oklahoma, Megan Radford, was classified as “a high risk due to her creation and sharing of information.”

An email from August 2020 sent by Mr. Yemini discussed the possibility of surveilling Kevin Wu, a fan who runs the prominent Twitter account Free Britney L.A.

“They were extremely nervous, because they had zero control over the Free Britney movement and what’s going to come out of it,” Mr. Vlasov said.

The fees for surveilling Ms. Spears’s boyfriend and the Free Britney participants, Mr. Vlasov said, were billed to Ms. Spears’s estate.

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