#that women CAN reject men and we don't owe them shit after

[thebluelemontree]

I don't know if you've already answered a similar question, if you have I apologize and will look better for it. But do you think Sandor and Sansa would still love each with how much they've both changed? They've almost become new people, but still the same beings.

It’s no problem. I’ve written about that here and probably touched on this in many other posts. 

I wouldn’t frame the question as would they “still love each other with how much they’ve both changed.” It implies that their feelings were already understood as love by them when they were together. What they had was a confusing mess of conflicting emotions that neither were fully capable of understanding or accepting at the time. Each had their reasons for why that was so, which goes to some of the issues that stood between them. While there is chemistry, intimacy, and empathy shown, IMO, it’s better to think of them as possessing the building blocks that can lead to love in the future.  

On the other hand, there was also:

The fact that she’s too young, immature, and unready for a consummated romance with anyone. She needs space and time to grow up and figure out what she wants. Until AFFC, she’s still only comfortable consciously fantasizing about Loras Tyrell, who is non-threatening, conventionally attractive, and uncomplicated. They are still relatively chaste/borderline erotic fantasies. The unkiss takes time for her to consciously accept and embrace as reciprocated erotic desire.  

The fact that he has no idea how to express himself without resorting to the language of violence that he understands best.

The fact that he copes with the unresolved childhood trauma and PTSD in unhealthy ways like his abrasive Hound persona, his overly-cynical worldview, and sometimes abusing alcohol when he’s under stress.

His immaturity and inability to simply ask for and accept the emotional support he wants (which she was perfectly willing to give) without freaking out over being vulnerable with someone. 

The fact that they are on opposite sides of a war where Sansa’s family is in open rebellion against her captors who Sandor owes fealty to. 

The fact that she’s the king’s betrothed. She’s his property. To explicitly act upon any romantic attraction would be considered treason, punishable by torture and death.  

The fact that there is a massive class disparity between them that overshadows the age difference in their world. That’s one reason why neither can put a name to this thing between them. A future queen / high lord’s daughter from an ancient house should not be fraternizing with a non-knight from a house only three generations old. That’s why they struggle even knowing what to call each other because using first names shows too much familiarity and intimacy. This would be true even without any of the other conflicts. Class controls everything in Westeros. 

And yes, he still owes her a big heartfelt apology for his abhorrent behavior during the Blackwater, and he should beg her forgiveness.  

Most of these points I elaborate on in more detail in the links above. If you notice, though, most of these things have either been resolved or are in the process of being resolved. None of these issues were ever insurmountable obstacles. 

The ways in which Sansa and Sandor have evolved even in their separation has been largely positive and complementary of each other. They haven’t grown apart or become incompatibly different at all. If anything, it’s pushed their feelings further along, and it’s clear they are very much on each other’s minds. Since we can see Sansa’s perspective firsthand, she’s only thought about Sandor more since he left.  

Sansa has grown and matured a lot more when we see her in the TWOW sample chapter. Had the five-year gap panned out, she would be legally an adult in Westeros; however, dropping it doesn’t seem to have affected GRRM’s intentions for any of his POVs. She’s in the company of unconventional, sexually mature women in their early twenties who can be role models in navigating adult relationships. The sassy way she takes no shit from a brutally honest Harrold Hardyng shows she has confidence and the ability to go toe-to-toe with Sandor’s gruff personality without getting flustered and running away. After she wipes the floor with him with her wit, she ends up winning Harry over to the point he’s begging for her favor. There is no point in the sample chapter where she voices any anxieties about not feeling ready for marriage, sex, or children. This no longer seems to be an issue for her, so we can assume she feels okay with having an adult relationship at this point.   

Her time as a bastard girl has made her warmer and friendlier. She was always kind, but proprieties and courtesies can also read as aloof and re-enforcing strict class boundaries. Can you imagine Kings Landing!Sansa hugging someone like Lothor Brune, a landless knight, as she does in TWOW? Or preferring the company of a sex-positive widow who enjoys taking lovers or a bastard girl over the “perfect sister” she saw in Margaery Tyrell and her cousins? Hell no. That would never happen. This new Sansa lacks those prejudices and is openly affectionate towards people she was raised to keep at arm’s length. Once she loosened up and stopped reciting courtesies, people actually got to know her and like her for who she is. That’s what Sandor always wanted from her, right? To drop the courtesies and flattering bullshit and just be a real person with him, not a talking parrot. While that criticism was harsh and rudely put, it had a lot of truth to it. It seems to have made Sansa into a happier person and more in touch with her authentic self. Now that she has accepted in Feast that she wanted Sandor like that, what is there to stop her from acting on it later?

The Quiet Isle didn’t exist before Feast. It was written for Sandor to recover and rehabilitate. Not just physically, but he’s getting what constitutes psychological counseling and a treatment plan that deals directly with his worst traits. He appears to meet with the Elder Brother often enough because the latter seems to know quite a bit about Sandor’s backstory, what his issues are, and exactly who Sansa Stark is. The rest of the time, he must observe the no talking rule and do meaningful work as a novice. This man, who once flaunted his contempt for those who couldn’t defend themselves as weak and deserving of death, is put to work digging graves for the innocent victims of violence. All day long, he has to look at the faces of men, women, and children killed by evil men with that philosophy. One brother even yells at him for carelessly tossing dirt around with the shovel, and he silently takes it. No smart ass backtalk. In the evening, he has to serve food and clear plates for men he would have once mocked. They’re men of faith, they’ve renounced violence, and Sandor sits lower in status than them. To Sandor’s credit, he humbly submits to all this in a show of respect and humility. It’s like he wants to learn these lessons they are offering and is allowing himself to be schooled. Now Sandor may always be Sandor on some level (if Stranger kicking down the stable doors and refusing to be gelded is any indication). Still, it does look like he’s become a gentler, healthier, and sober version of himself. The only part of Sandor that Sansa rejected was the Hound, and it’s both stated in the text and by George himself that the Hound is dead. Period. And yeah, it seems like Sandor is in a place where he is unlikely to backslide into old behavior, and he can make that heartfelt and necessary apology to Sansa. I don't think Sandor could ever be okay with moving their relationship forward without making amends first. It wouldn't sit right with his sense of remorse and personal responsibility, which is a good thing. 

All these changes are for the better for them as individuals and as a possible future couple. Contrary to your ask, I would say a positive, fully-fledged romance with "HEA" potential wouldn’t be possible or believable without all the growth and changes they've undergone. When they reunite, they can do so on more equal footing. 

Not that there aren’t more conflicts to overcome. They both are currently wanted fugitives for murders they didn’t commit, so they both need to clear their names and reclaim their true identities. There is still the matter of Sansa’s marital status as Tyrion isn’t dead but their marriage was also unconsummated. She could try to have her marriage officially annulled by the Faith somehow, but to do that, she’ll have to take the risk of revealing her true identity. Again, these don’t seem like plots that won’t be resolved anyway at some point. What about that class divide though? Well, the Starks aren’t like Tywin or Cersei, and they actually value things like faithful service. No reason why Sandor couldn’t be awarded a lordship and lands in gratitude for saving the lives of both Arya and Sansa. I’m just sayin’.  

#valyrianscrolls #sansan meta #sansan #sansa stark #sandor clegane #asoiaf meta #my meta #future romance #asoiaf characterization #twow spec #asoiaf spec

[kuronanox]

Different views - Kensei Muguruma

"Stop being so shy and tell him!" Matsumoto encourages (Your Name) as she sighs and grabs a fistful of her hair. "I HATE MEN!" She screams as Kira nods in agreement and Shuhei sit across from them awkwardly.

"GO GO GO OR ELSE ILL TELL MUGURUMA TAICHO MYSELF!" Kira's flush face offers as he slams his hands on the table causing the sake to spill. "Oi! The drinks is expensive you know!" Shuhei lectures catching the small shot glasses in mid air. "WHAT ABOUT YOU KIRA?!" Matsumoto shouts grabbing his shirt and tugging him towards her. "Everyone knows how you feel about Hinamori!"

"Ya ya ya! NOO I don't want my death bed by Hitsugaya Taicho." He crosses his arms as Shuhei attempts to help a very drunk Kira sit up after. (Your Name) just watches the scene and sulks in the corner this night was suppose to be fun but the only ones having fun is Kira and Matsumoto. She sighs and thinks about how her and Kensei relationship turned to friends with benefit rather than a couple as she hoped for.

It was about a year and a half ago, it was the New Years Festival (Your Name) drank to much alcohol on a empty stomach not realizing how fast it was going to hit her. She was lit though, dancing with everyone and making new friends. She was so drunk she attempt to kiss Yumichika and he allowed his cheek since he was probably gay anyways. That's what her problem was, she was so open and lusty when she was drunk.

"Kiss?" She asks Matsumoto as she gave a kiss to her and Hinamori even snatching one from Renji. Of course his face got so red he had to walk away. "(Your Name) you can't go around and keep asking people for kisses." Kensei lectures her and sighs as she pouts and crossed her arms. "You are just upset that I didn't ask one from you." She jokes and he lightly hits her head. "No stupid, I'm not trying to catch anything."

"MY MOUTH IS CLEAN!" She shouted and joined Ikkaku in another round of a drinking game. By the end of the night everyone was pretty sauced and making their ways back to their barracks. (Your Name) saw that everyone was slowly going home and she decided that she needed to head back home or else she was going to black out.

"God damn I can barely stand." She whines using the wall for support looking around for help because everything was blurry. Kensei sets Shuhei and Mashiro in their rooms and goes back to the party to help other members of his squad just in case they were to drunk to get back. As he expected he catches (Your Name) trying to walk back home. "Come on." He offers his hand as she looks up at her captain and takes it. "Captain, I don't think I can walk." She slurs as he clicks his teeth and picks her up so she was on his back. "I guess this is how Yachiru feels everytime she's on Zaraki Taichos back." She half jokes and silently falls asleep on his back.

"Oi don't fall asleep, I don't know where you live." He says and looks to see she is fast asleep, he sighs and takes her back to his place. After placing her on a extra futon he had Kensei makes his own a little further from her.

After a few hours of deep slumber (Your Name) wakes up and looks at her surroundings, it was unfamiliar to her. She turns to her side and sees Kensei fast asleep. "Huh? I guess I blacked out. Awe Captain is going to kill me when I'm in better shape." She shrinks still kinda drunk from a couple hours ago.

'The moon is still high.'

Laying down she scoots closer to Kensei attempting to warm herself from the cold winter night. After a few attempts she couldn't get comfortable and sits up. Going through his cabinets she saw there was extra blankets. "How can Captain sleep in this cold weather!" She says and grabs two. One for her and one for Kensei.

Placing the heavy comforter on him he awakens by shifting around him and he grabs her arms rather roughly. "Ow!" She shouts as his eyes widen. "(Your Name)?" Kensei questions as she rubs her armed that was grabbed from him in his sleep. "Sorry Captain it was cold so I got more blankets."

"Are you still drunk?" He asks because her face was still red and her words still a bit slurred. "Yes, but I am able to function again." She admits, hugging herself from the cold breeze that flew in. Noticing her gesture for warmth he looks to see he only gave her a thin sheet to sleep in.

"Are you cold?"

"No shit Captain!" She rolls her eyes as he knits his brows and clicks his teeth. "Sassy." Kensei says while opening up his spot next to him. (Your Name) stares at it hesitantly before climbing in the cover with him. At first it was awkward because he wrapped his body around hers to warm them up. She was still wide awake and turned to face him.

They stared at each other for a fat minute till she leaned in and placed her lips onto Kensei's rough ones. It was a small kiss till he pulled in and kissed her back in a more aggressive and needy way. Flipping (Your Name) onto her back and climbing on top of her he caressed her sides as her breath hitched from his touch. "Mhn." She moaned into his mouth as he separates their lips and gave her neck some attention. Grabbing a fistful of his hair she moaned in pure bliss as Kensei bit onto her neck as she squirmed by the rough gesture but he held her in place as he sucks the rough patch he bit. "K-ken-Kensei." She moaned out as he groaned in her ear.

"I'm sorry (Your Name)." He says then letting her go as she felt rejected from his warmth and kisses. "Why did you stop?"

"I don't take advantage of drunk women." He says as she shakes her head. "I'm not that drunk."

Kensei looks at her she was beautifully flushed and he couldn't tell if she was lying or just embarrassed. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

(Your Name) cringed thinking about the first night they had sex, after that night they made it official that everything they did was just for their own benefit and they had no relationship status. The first year was fine, they act like nothing happen and it wasn't awkward or anything between them.

Slowly Kensei started opening up to her and even sleeping with her after those sessions they had instead of leaving like he usually did. On some occasion he would invite her over and they wouldn't have sex but just for some  company. A few times they cooked together at his place and watched a few movies he really liked back when he was living in the human world.

It fell apart for (Your Name) when she realize that she was catching feelings for Kensei her captain and the worse part of it was that he didn't return them. He already made it known when they first started that this thing they were doing was for their own individual pleasure.

As time passed by they started learning what each individual liked in bed, luckily for her they both were into rough sex. But recently he was not as rough but more slow and passionate. It confused (Your Name).

"Ugh stop it!" She says walking back with Shuhei back to the barracks. She was on his back as he looked up and questioned what was wrong.

"Nothing! I'm fine!" She reassured as she looks up to see Kensei waiting outside infront of their barracks. "Taicho?" Shuhei says as Kensei sighs and shakes his head.

"(Your Name) how many times I told you to pace yourself when you drink?"

She looks down as Shuhei apologizes because he was also tipsy and not sober. Kensei walks them both home and drops off Shuhei first then (Your Name), she knew he was angry but tried not to show it. "Are you mad at me?" She asks him as he places her onto her bed. "It's fine (Your Name)." He says before leaving her. She sighs and falls down before sleeping.

The next week she didn't talk to Kensei much, he avoided her sometimes and didn't acknowledge her presence half the time. He only called her for training and paperwork but either then that they didn't speak. She was getting upset that he was acting the way he was to her. She wasn't dating him so why was he so upset?

"Can we talk?" She says to him as he went through papers on his office. "About?" Kensei asks raising a brow and crossing his arms now. "You are mad at me." She simply stated as he gave her a straight answer. "Yes I am."

"Well why are you mad at me?" She says staying the obvious slapping her hands into the air looking for answers.

"(Your Name) you realiz-" he started but was interrupted when a squad member barged into the room to say there is a emergency meeting for all captains and vice captains. He dismisses and tells (Your Name) to meet him at his place tonight.

"Ahh!" She moans as he roughly held onto her neck for support as he thrust into her. He came back stressed and upset but before she could ask what was wrong he slammed her against the wall and claimed her mouth with his. Now they were on the bed as he aggressively took out his anger into each thrust as she held on for dear life screaming his name. "Fuck." He says and flips her onto all fours.

"Ken-" (Your Name) says but he ignores her and places one arm around her neck to secure her from moving and pulls her hair with the other free hand he had so she was staring at him as he thrust into her. The sound of clapping turned him on each time their skin slapped as he groaned and she screamed. "Damn." He says as (Your Name) was left with her back arched all the way and her mouth was parted and she looked at him with lustful eyes. 'So fucking beautiful.' Kensei says in his thoughts and chokes her harder as she pleas under him.

"Ke-Kensei I can't." She says as a safe word and he realizes that he was choking her kinda hard as she holds her throat and coughs a little bit. "I'm sorry did I hurt you?" He worriedly asks as she faces him with tears in her eyes.

"You've never been this rough before, what's wrong?" She asks as he felt bad for making her tear up. "I don't know." He admits.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore?" (Your Name) tells him as he sits next to her and places a blanket around her naked body. "What's wrong? Am I being to rough?"

"It's not that, it just.... I've had feelings for you the last few months and I don't wanna keep sleeping with you knowing you don't return the feelings and me ending up with a cold bed every night." She shamelessly admits hugging her two legs towards her.

Kensei doesn't saw a word for a while and says "I was angry at you because you were drunk and Shuhei was tipsy."

(Your Name) looks up confused and tilts her head. "But I-"

"I know you tend to get really touchy with people when you are drunk and Shuhei was also not sober so the thought of you guys doing something made me angry because I also.... I also like you." Kensei admits as she widens her eyes and he looks away from her.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I didn't know how, I thought you were in it for the sex only, but I started to open up to you and you genuinely were interested and was there for me. Even when I showed my hollow mask I thought you were going to run away from this monster I have in me but you didn't.... I realized then that this was the girl I wanted to be with."

She sighs and leans against Kensei, relief and a smile on her face. "You idiot."

Kensei hugs her bare body and smiles back. "Now that we know how we feel about each other you don't have to feel down anymore." He reassures and gives a small peck on the lips.

"I agree." (Your Name) says and straddles his hips. "So let's continue where we left off at."

"Oh?" Kensei smirks and holds her hips firmly, getting ready for a night filled with adventures.

#Bleach #bleachbravesouls #kensei #kensei muguruma #Shuhei Hisagi #kira izuru #Matsumoto Rangiku #anime #bleach oneshot #bleach oneshots #bleach x reader #bleach one shots

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Uncle Donald gave her $800 in the 1980s

She let him invest it for her up until now

And she has now $45B

I hope you enjoyed your game as there are more to come but with more people as it enters TV for free of course on Channel Fox.

As always enjoy life and what it brings with the most care you can afford.

Don't let the economy, crumble, Uncle Donald, i hit up JP for some cash since Jesse stole mine from United Business Bank located in Oregon, Washington, and New Mexico.

I own Chase, bought it with Donald and sold to the US Government for a mint. Jesse could got in on this deal but he wanted to challenge me instead.

So I asked Uncle Donald for a cash loan, how much he could afford and what was in his wallet. $4000 roughly. So we split it between his 4 kids (the 4th being me) and I gave him back $200 for the rest of the day.

And we returned to the bank and I asked him how to deposit the money into Chase Manhattan because Denise had bought me clothes but I wanted to be a fashion designer and had altered them So she threw them all away in a rage of jealousy and heat.

Of course i started to cry so we went back across the street to McDonald's and we talked. He said "i have a surprise for you, lets get to the bank"

So we walked alllllll around the building, up and down and he talked to a man and got us inside all the back rooms. He said "i wanna buy it!" And he turned to me and asked "would you like to invest your $800 into my bank as an investor?"

I said "what about my clothes! She said i had to return the money or else i get none!"

"But who did she spend the money on?"

"Me and my brothers and and her!"

"Well don't you think Its time to invest in you and your fashion?" He asked for my $800 i had to pull from 4 different pockets and my sock as he taught me to split to beat pick pocketers. And handed it all. He handed me back $200 and I handed it back then he handed me a $5 from his breast pocket and t told me to keep it.

And began to walk to the counter to buy the bank.

I chased after him and put it in his left cost pocket and told him, 'well you know you bought me lunch so you keep it"

I pulled it from his pocket to produce proof I had already given it and he couldn't give it back and then stuffed it back in deep, all the way i nearly ripped his shoulder off for which I promptly apologized, jumped on the counter and rubbed his soreness off and jumped down.

And he started to cry a little bashful at first then a full sob. And I tried to console him and Robby appeared with a trailing line of toilet paper so his silk hanky wouldn't be soiled with snot.

He thanked him and became startled and asked if he wanted in on the investment.

Robby said, "i might but i need to talk to you, I belong to this boarding school ran by this might be soon white bigger as he calls himself, inspired by her and taken completely out of context"

"Michael Jackson" interjected our new found Uncle Donald. "Come let's sit"

We moved to the side of the spacious lobby to a small table accompanied by two plus club chairs.

He and i talked about how neat it would be to have chaise chairs in Chase bank.

"Well, her mom is abusive, mostly about money so i would like to take control of her stock with her permission"

"Yes! I do! And i will wanna get married!" I jumped with my fist in the air and pushed against the chair like a standing push up and stood

....

"Her sit. First I would like to talk to you as an investor. I am run by the boarding house and they teach us things like to steal and bring back to get 'rewards' much often things less than they are worth like a stick of gum for $2 when I can get a whole pack for 20 cents. Uh oh, here he comes"

"Im about to invest into this bank with these two kids you got something you wanna say to me?" Instead of waiting for a reply, uncle Donald got up and briskly walked to the counter, asking to return to a different room, promptly and away from Mr Jackson whom was still solidly black (he doesn't have vitaligo its just bleached).

And we entered a nearly empty office and he turned fiercely, angry even, "this will be your office where you will WORK"

...

"Its okay! We are still friends!" I climbed into the chair then up onto the desk "this is where I will sit"

"Well close your legs and sit like a lady, like this hand me your foot, no don't take off your shoe"

"Well I didn't want to ruin you! Your suit is NICE!!"

And he moved my foot and crossed my ankles and patted my knee and said "or you cross at here"

I took my ankle to my knee "no not like that, that's like a man. Knee to knee"

"Oh like this?" I squeezed my knees together

Robby laughed and Uncle Donald looked flustered

"Oh i know I know cross at my knees, you need to explain better!" I patted his shoulder. In the 80s it was okay to touch, at least for a child.

"I said that first!"

"Oh! I interrupt!"

"No apologize" Robby groaned

"I apologize for interrupting"

"For?" Asked Donald "you can't tell her that Because ---"

"No he could I get misinformation that way"

"Except when I'm being scolded and she knows the truth" said Robby.

Tune in next week for another Miss Adventure of one Wild Single Mom's Childhood!

I had 48 cents. Robby had put in 2500 front Hayes then 1500 each from Mark and Mike Andrews which he had not signed and they got rejected. Yet Jesse notified me of this, restricted my remote deposit privileges and now i am to notify the Sheriff of Hays County, Austin, Texas that the money is kept hidden in the tax and revenue accounts of his great county. And to open an investigation which he will pretend he did and then not. So i get his hush money as well as the other two and the $15B JP Dejoria stupidly just paid me because i Told Jesse to tell his father in law that Jesse is a stupid piece of shit which he didn't.

And of course I will invest in schools across the nation, installing playgrounds at any schools that do not have them, including intermediate, Jr high, middle, High and etc.. And may be finally lockers at least were I'm centrally located and/or where i want to be, namely at high schools at least.

Because that is what I want to do. Make people happy in the funniest ways possible.

And if there is any left I want to reinvest at the parks i originally invested in, initially, to make them better snd brighter, starting at the older to the newer.

I want the world to seem happier and brighter and in the case of schools at least around here once they hit 7th grade (middle school) they change schools to those that no longer have lockers or desks to put things in, 7 or more teachers to please instead of one or two they spend all day with, like a parent who gives love and kindness and retribution, they go through puberty which in itself is a chore. Then the kids riot. I've seen it in small schools and i know it happens in big ones. 20 in one week at the beginning of school less than a mile from my house where i can hear the school bell.

And so they need a place to sleep their weary heads like the shoulder of an old friend instead of weeping a soul they can no longer call their own.

The secrets i have included here broke my heart to where it actually stopped over and over.

Instead of asking what was wrong, Mr Moneybags Jesse sent me to the doctor alone. -.-

He could have provided me with what i needed like I provided and protected him from Ms Dejoria and Mark Hindberg, Afghanistan and Iraq, which I will no longer do.

He is the one that encouraged Michael Jackson to pickpocket the slaves he had created.

Yes Michael Jackson is Wacko, is Him and is burning in Hell because I killed him with my own pistol Jesse had stolen from a cop, altered and resold to himself at a cheaper price than the way over inflated price he created to create a deficit in his company to receive a refund from the US government's IRS Department in the amount of $8,000 instead of paying the $1M he owed.

I plead guilty before a judge and Uncle Donald, Mrs Katherine Jackson, the Anne my 4 year old daughter that Michael Jackson attempted to rape in front of me, as well as Robby, my true love and of course Sunny and Jesse James himself whom gave me the gun.

Then, before then President Barack Obama, i was exonerated and pardoned completely without the possibility of parole or any other misconceptions that would be included with self defense manslaughter.

This week total I have arrested a total of 19 men and women thanks to the CIA as an unpaid civilian.

That would guarantee me Presidentship of one really great country, now, wouldn't it?

Thanks. And not to be repeated: No more games. Only truth.

Until next time my fair weather friends!

Now! Let's grab the bookie!!! Snag! You're in jail. What did ya know, Mike Andrews, I knew all along that Mark Hindberg was FBI. Why didn't you think that?

Moving along, hi JP. How are you? No one cares. Good thing you trusted into your rapist daughter who was married to a true hero whom puts up with my shit even after we name him Mr Vomit cause I make him so scared he actually vomits like I did tonight (that's included. No more scare, only truth)

Oh yes, JP, you have already been arrested and so you know -- you have no guns with you, right? Alexis Dejoria is no rapist, she's actually an excellent FBI agent whom hates her dad and is included in any exonerations I may have to hand out butbat my leisurely pace, because she actually didn't rape anybody!

Also the US government will pay your wages as you did file a lawsuit this very week by signing up with Namus.gov like we all did.

She like me, was an unpaid civilian whom ran into luck. While she's smart, she's not smart like me. Thus she's the FBI vs me who is CIA and can work against the world in a millisecond as i usually do and have in Afghanistan and Iraq where i protected many NHRA members during their tours in the US Military while they served with Jesse James and my little brother and were even kidnapped thanks to Matt Hagan's temper tantrum and Jesse James refusal to listen to command. Eventually I saved them from that too in a day and 6 hours after leaving base. They were involuntary bound and gagged and beaten within 20 minutes of their capture. Within the next 20 when I was finally told of their status they were rescued by Tony Schumacher and his team.

And now i have saved the NHRA from being beaten and raped and tortured. My time to continue here at home is not wasted,

I love you all and thank you very much for listening...

And now i have something to say about Jesse since i made him puke from a lie via email Because he made me mad for being a Dick douchebag and not caring enough about me, not wrecking his motorcycle and then lying to make me feel bad and stupider than ever although I saw the wreck and my being a girl, up and President running, couldn't stop to rescue or assist a man on his feet whom had already picked up his bike after a wipe out and the trailer passed me up to show me he would assist because forgive those trespassers as we trespass ourselves and i care that he could really been hurt. That may be a fault of mine but it is called Grace and not salvation which is being my daughter reincarnated into a goat in Iraq to keep everyone safe because Jesse is a dumb dumb sometimes and Matt Hagan prefers truth over himself, sometimes. Like being in love with a goat of my daughter's soul, in Iraq. (I bet he fucked her, too. Bestiality freak. Not my business tho, nor yours. But still, let's laugh instead of poking fun at his misadventures. It is funny, yo!)

Jesse cared about the goat so much he listened to her over every one, even me. Because he believed she was closer to God where he needed to be..

I changed his life once in Alabama and several times then, over and over, any time that need be.

But finally for this one time he trusted somebody else and learned to love as much as he could, the soul inside of him.

So God bless to all of the two headed creatures we will see wandering around the backs of people at the NHRA in the future to come. Including even on me.

I'm Mrs Cougar cause of my fingernails and my desire to be with someone young to keep me fresh and Alive -- not by his blood byt by the life he gives me. And he will be Mr Snake the one who slithers up beside me only for love while I labor in the grass kicking myself for what i might have done but not for what i might have missed out on because I was there the whole time thinking and feeling and frolicking through the grass, same as me.

And of course my tattoo will be scary cause the world as I know it, very much can be.

And you can thank me for the past or you can think about the future and beyond!!!

[soldierallen]

Married. 10

X

Warnings: a mention of "ending it all", some crying, a kissing, a big Decision.

Featuring: Evangeline Lilly, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Henry Cavill. (Also my wifi has been out and I wasn't able to post :( so you will get another chapter this week!)

Part 9:

It's been two weeks since that day at my house, time flies when your life is getting miserable.

These two men have carried me through storm after storm breakup after breakup, I owe them I have to choose between them I can't just sit here and make up in the air decisions - "ms, line 2 for you" her thoughts scattering quickly answering the phone

"Creative director's office y/n speaking who am I speaking with" she said very professionally

"Why aren't you answering my calls?"

Mom. Oh shit

"Mom I could explain, I've been in a really bad situation and I don't know what to do.." she said she wanted the pity because well she didn't want to argue with her mother so why not make her feel bad about it.

"Honey what's going on are you coming to Thanksgiving in a few days?"

"I am but, I have a problem the whole sebastian henry thing is getting out of control, I don't know who to take with me and- I can't come alone you know that" she felt her sigh at the other end of the line which made y/n roll her eyes "who do you love? That's all this comes down this sweetheart."

"It's not that simple" a women walked in putting files on the table walking out,

"Oh and you're brother is actually coming this year" .. did I ever mention I had a brother? Probably not but my brother hated all of my friends which were the four men I care about the most he told me it was "stupid" and "childish" to have a group of boys as my friends and then I proceeded to tell him to fuck himself, that became a really good argument for my dad to break up.

He was the golden son, nothing he ever did was wrong never got in trouble always did the right thing went to college got married and raised his kids and he has a goody two shoes life style unlike me, I live in New York city in an apartment complex that used to live paycheck to paycheck to get through the weeks, he never had it hard.

I drive and go to work live alone and only have men as my best friends, everyone thought I was gay for a while until I was with Tom they stopped questioning me.

"Oh great is he gonna rub in my face that hes better than me? Most likely. love you mom"

"I love you to, just remember whoever you bring better be the one." they hung up, what did she mean by that? The one?. Like.. the one I marry someday.

○○○○

"Hey stop doing that" my mother yelled at my brother Steven "why does she have to bring her stupid friends over to the house?!" Her brother was angry that she was having them sleep over and he wasn't allowed to have his friends sleep over tonight

"I can't have a group of 7 boys plus my son in the mix, she has four friends that are boys you have four friends that are boys you have to live with it!" She said "shes a GIRL, girls aren't suppose to have friends that are BOYS!" he was only two years older than y/n at the time which made him 15 & her and her friends 13

"Girls could be friends with boys!" She said

"No they can't they're only friends with you because they want to get in your pants!"

"Steven Michael Y/L/N go to your room you're grounded" he stomped his feet into the ground going up the stairs saying swearing words underneath his breath

"do you think that's true.." she sat at the bar stool waiting for her friends to arrive she was kinda weirded out and never thought about it like that.

"Honey, I don't think that I think your brother is jealous that you have better brothers than he'll ever be to you" she whispered.

○○○○

She sat at her desk trying to figure out who she was going to bring.

"God just give me a sign or a billboard or a brick though this glass window"

A knock on her door startled her she got up, a warm smile greeted her it was sebastian "hey, I'm having a party tomorrow and you should come.." he smiled "a party?" She left from behind her desk coming closer to him

"Yes the new house and everything so you should come" he said "did you come all the way from the other side of town to tell me you wanted me at your party?" She laughed

"Yeah kinda" he nervously laughed and she put her hand on his shoulder "I'll be there" "good I want you there and everybody else."

Was this faith trying to tell me something, when I asked for answers I got sebastian at the door was this it..

I told myself I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't even want to try and than he shows up my heart beats fast and my stomach twists

"I'll see you tomorrow at 8?" She nodded "hey where are you going?" "Back to work?" "that's a 24 minute drive from here"

"I know" he smiled sleepily and fixed his suit jacket "tomorrow" he pointed at her walking away she shook her head with a smile at his tactics, he was becoming his self again, it was enlightening.

Just then she felt the whole office tense up not really sure why she walked out into the hall watching everyone shift the once talking and joking in the office became...quiet only the noises of mouse clicks and keyboard taps in the air she was very confused at this point, she walked around the office looking for answers she saw her coworker Evangelina "hey what's going on" she whispered "something's going on in Robert's office I think you should...handle it" Evangelina was blunt & she liked that about her, y/n nodded her head and headed towards Downey's office hearing absolute ruckus she knocked on the door no answer, she knocked one more time.. nothing she knocked again and with a word "mr Downey it's me I'm coming in" when she walked in papers everywhere, a whiskey glass shattered into millions of pieces.

"Mr Downey what's going on"

"We lost the investment" he yelled, she never heard him yell like that and not at her at least, "huh?"

"You know that company stock we did last week? Mr Daddario told us to specifically not to do!" She nodded her head "well was lost it and y/n if it wasn't for you this wouldn't of happened!" He yelled "excuse me?" She was baffled, why would he blame this on her she only fixed the designs and had nothing to do with the money or any other way this place operates.

"You told me not to fire you the day he called and I should've" his words felt like slashes to the back "I lost one of the biggest- most important people to this company on a count of you! Because you were having trouble with the bosses daugther"

"All I asked for was for you not to fire me on a count of his daugther!, mr Downey I've never asked for this and for you to hang this over my head that you did me a favor" He rubbed his face in complete anger he put back on his glasses and folded his arms over his chest leaning against his desk

"I want you gone by tomorrow"

Her heart dropped, her hands started to shake and she felt her breathing hitch

"I want you gone by tomorrow you're fired, that pretty little office of yours will go to someone who actually deserves it." She didn't even know what to say or how to resolve this.

"Well I don't work for you anymore so this was long awaited, you are a TOOL ROBERT! You do nothing for this company you sit on your ass and make everyone do the work for you, you're ungrateful and deserve nothing lets see how good you do without me." And with that she left the whole office and down stairs office heard the entire thing, "Evangelina" she said she threw her creative director badge around her neck she caught it "have fun working with that lunatic." She went inside of her office grabbing a couple things, she opened her top draw with the key and there was two letters she never wanted to open because she was too content with the life she had,

The Times, had contacted her back when she applied months ago and she was so content she didn't open the letter that came only a week ago.

People's Maginze as well, the only problem with people's was she would have to move across country for that she didn't know if she could handle that

she came home and took a bath her eyes swollen from crying she never knew what to do with her anger she just got so mad she would cry.

She heard the door being unlocked and she drank her wine in the bath "whoever it is can you get me my towel from in my room because honestly I wasn't expecting any guests!" She yelled out, she heard a small chuckle and paper bags fall onto the table "you know any other person would've been startled that someone could walk in at any moment" "well if it wasn't you or Henry or Sebastian or Anthony, I guess I would be dead" she drank her wine and Chris walked in with a blue long towel she put down her glass she motioned for him to turn around and that he did and she got out wrapping herself in a towel she drained the water

"Jenn will be here soon" he announced

"I got fired today"

He whipped around "you're kidding?" Chris said he gave her a comforting hug and let go

"Nope," she sipped her drink "Downey fired me on a count of the daddarios just like I said" she walked out the bathroom him following her right behind "that imbecil, I always hated that guy he's always been too big for his britches" Chris was never one to get mad unless he saw the people he cared about hurt, "I told you what was going to happen what am I gonna do now!" she opened her draws as

"You still have that Times Letter, open it." He said

"What if I get REJECTED I can't handle that OH AND EVEN BETTER Steven is coming to Thanksgiving!"

Chris sat on her door frame he opened his mouth to talk when she cut him off

" I have to choose between Henry and sebastian! I don't want to END IT ALL today!" She grabbed underwear and just when Chris was about to talk again she cut him off one more time

"AND TO THINK THINGS WERE JUST GETTING BETTER AND AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS" she used her hands to talk waving her underwear all around making Chris laugh he stopped her failing arms "stop throwing your underwear all over the place and get dressed come in the living room & let's work this out." She laughed with a smile "thank you for being here for me" "always" he booped her nose which made her laugh instantly, An hour had passed the three hung out drank and they went home.

--

It was the night of sebastian's party, she didn't know how to dress for it so she did what any women would do wear a dress there's no going wrong with wearing a dress...

"I'm glad you made it" sebastian smiled kissing her cheek giving her butterflies, he felt them to, but this time y/n butterflies didn't feel the same like they always have when he did small things like that it felt - wrong.

"Anything for you" he held her hand inside his house filled with a crowd of people he introduced her to some coworkers and a few of his friends, and he lead her outside she looked out into his backyard it looked almost exactly like his parents backyard the pool was shaped the same and his pool floaties were of weird things like a unicorn and a banana it was strange.

Two lawn chairs sat out by the pool it was dark, the moon was just perfectly bright the pool was warm and it just seemed... perfect

"What are we doing out here" she asked moving her hair out of her eyes "this is something you've never seen before I made this backyard look like my parents backyard, this is the place I always come to in my head when I need a moment, I know things for you aren't so great" they sat down on the grass,and she picked at the grown slightly listening to him talk

"But I want you to know this is a safe place, no arguing fighting or anything if you ever need some place to go this is the backyard you lost your virginity in" he smirked "you caught me?" She didn't even know he knew about that

"Of course I caught you, one minute your nagging me about smoking and drinking - which after that night I stopped for three years" he tipped his head to her and she smiled showing off her teeth which made him smile "to the next minute I come back in my backyard to see you having sex with some guy"

"Charlie watts" she added

"The kid who dressed up like harry potter that night?" She nodded her head drinking the sour red liquid in her cup, "I can't beileve you lost it to him" "what did you want me to lose it to you? You aren't interested and you made that very clear" she put the cup down "I would've wanted it to be one of the four" she was very confused "all of us love you, having you lose it to someone who really loves and cares about you would've made it that much better"

"So did you all think that way?" "No I was the only one who said it" Sebastian said "Well I never told anyone and he didn't either but I lost my lip virginity to Chris actually" she laughed "you're kidding" he laughed loudly, it was just the two of them in that moment nobody inside that house music was loud but it wasn't loud enough for her to notice.

"Oh I can't wait to bug him about that!"

"I promised I wouldn't tell!" "Well you told!" Sebastian saw y/n's phone on the lawn chair next to her car keys and the only thought in his mind... push her in the pool

"How much you like that dress you're wearing?" He asked, she wasn't waiting for that at all

"it's nice I guess I didn't know how to dress to this thing I mean honestly I didn't even think I would've came because of whole getting fired -" as she spoke she wasn't realizing what was happening as sebastian pushed her into the pool she fell in with a laugh "you know you were always a little bitch" she said wiping her eyes and pushing her hair out of face "yeah people have told me that" he peeled his shirt off his body and took his shoes off and jumped in to making the water splash on her "couldn't you just ASK me to get in the pool you know I would've" she swam closer to him he pushed his hair back his lips dripping with water as he spoke "y/n I want you to have fun, you never have fun anymore it's always work, it never got you anywhere I want you to feel something" he got closer to her as well "what am I suppose to feel" she asked

"happiness, love. that's what you deserve" his face got closer to hers, she was ready for this to be the first time her lips were on his, his wet face dripped onto her skin "if you don't want this stop me."

In a slow whisper "I want this"she said their lips touched together so lightly it felt like heaven to him his hands were on her hips she was leaned against the wall of pool, it felt as if their lips matched a perfect rhythm, finally

He detached his lips from hers, his lips on her neck making a small red blotch this was what she waited for, and it felt... Wrong, like she had been betraying henry. her hand on his skin felt so new to him he'd never felt like this before it was so amazing finally after months having her in his arms kissing her loving her the way she should be loved.

She didn't love him, she loved Henry. The kiss didn't really feel the way she wanted it to be.

Sebastian heard the glass door opening, she didn't, he didn't really care who it was to be completely honest he's got the girl.

"I see you two have forgiven each other, I thought it was take some time but a week?" The voice she knew all too well, a voice she heard for months on end giving her support sounded so hurt and upset, she knew she fucked up.

"Henry" she pulled away from sebastian, Henry is right here, he looked like he was getting choked up she saw it in his eyes she tried to quickly get herself out of the pool and he turned around walking back to the glass doors, "Henry wait" she yelled her soaking wet body following him

he knew she wasn't going to pick him Chris and Jenn gave him false hope again, he thought he could catch sebastian in the act kissing another women and to start something when he got a bit closer revealing it was her this whole time, he was crushed.

She kept yelling after him he wouldn't answer he wasn't mad or angry he was trying to hold back his hurt.

she followed him onto the porch "Henry" after her fourth yell of his name he turned around, the sound of party loud she closed the door behind her hearing muffled noise. "you love him, you'll never love me the way you love him and I just have to except it and all these months I finally thought shes done with him and this is my chance i got the girl" he said he stopped half way looking at her dripping everywhere she walked down the stairs

"Yeah however I needed to know what i wanted, who I wanted."

"And you've made your choice I get it." he opened the door to his car about to get in

"I did, henry it's you." He stopped his movements looking at her through the window of the door he shut the door loudly walking closer to her, as she looked at him getting closer

"Don't say things like that when am in a time of hurt, I'm losing you - you can't just say things like that I care about you and I put you before everyone else." His voice was slow and sounded so hurt

"tonight I made my decision, Henry since this whole time I thought it's always been him I never truly loved him and now I know I needed this one night of reassurance that it was over, and I love someone else it's you it's always been you" he hesitated what he was about to do watching him kiss her he didn't feel right kissing her however it was something that had to be done he pulled in her soaking wet body into his, his white t shirt making an imprint of her body, she kissed him with so much passion she thought she would explode,

Sebastian said he wants her to feel happiness, love. she didn't feel that with him, she didnt feel anything with him it was so anticlimactic she thought this will be my choice I'll be with Sebastian like I've always wanted he will be with me and we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together when in reality.. the fire was dead and the feeling was lost maybe he felt something she didn't not anymore.

"Let's get you out of these clothes" he said out of breath, "my phone and keys are at the pool" he nodded "hurry" he pulled her forearm towards himself giving her one more kiss She had a few seconds to herself and shes never been more happy.

She saw sebastian drying himself off talking to some friends of his, it didn't even faze her she didn't want him anymore "hey" he said pulling her to the side for a second, "I heard everything" she nodded her head "you guys look great together I'm really sorry that I almost ruined it for you both" she hugged him "thank you" he squeezed her body tightly "go get him" he let go of her, he didn't want to let go of her and let her end up with Henry however she was happy and it's what she wanted that's all he wanted for her. She went and got her keys her phone

she looked at Henry through the driver's seat window opening the door he was just sitting there, he gave a small smile when she appeared "hey what's wrong" she rubbed his arm with worried eyes

"Nothing, not anymore." he kissed her lips once more she felt her stomach twist "I'll follow you home" he nodded, after a while they got to her apartment and she changed and gave Henry his blue hoodie he left here a few days ago she straddled his lap her hands on his shoulders his hands on her waist studying her weight he kissed her lovingly her hands ran through his hair and he loved the feeling he let out small moan which she wasn't expecting and she let go "you have a hair thing"

"I have a y/n thing" she laughed so hard she fell over to the side, he's so cheesy she thought. making him smile holding her body in place so she doesn't fall off the couch,

he's a one of a kind.

Tagged @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandomsohmy @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91 @gravedollie666 @inlovewith3 // if anyone wants to be untagged or tagged please leave a message ty♡ also I do not own any gifs or images of any kind.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie #chris evans #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill

[datingadviceonreddit]

These are my own, subjective views as a 32 year old man who has dated a fair number of women that I met online and offline. I am not an expert. These are merely my own subjective and flawed thoughts. If I am lucky 20% of this will be correct and 80% will be bullshit. However, I am a realist, so it is likely that less than 20% will be correct.First and most important, men of Reddit, learn how to take rejection well. Taking rejection well means learn how to take rejection politely and graciously. It does not mean yelling or insulting the woman for saying she isn't interested in you, ghosting you, or if she stops talking. Relationships and conversations are a voluntary activity between 2 people. Either one has the right to end the conversation at any time for any reason whatsoever. The person you are speaking to doesn't owe you a reason why they won't talk to you, stopped talking to you, or are not longer interested.People are complicated and have multiple concerns and anxieties on their minds other than your conversation. Men, in the same way that you may complain if your significant other is constantly calling or texting at work so that you cannot get your work done, guess what? It is 2020 women have jobs, rent, mortgages, kids, pets, family, and their own friends to worry about. That says nothing of the fact that there is a literal plague going on. We all have a million problems and responsibilities to care for. And when the shit hits the fan, people have to care for their priorities first before getting to you. When there are Zombies at the door, your priority isn't your Tinder profile, it is brace the door, board up the windows and get everyone to a safe position, not why hasn't that girl texted me back? Women are dealing with the same problems as you and likely others you don't know about. Therefore, many times when a woman stops talking to you, it has nothing to do with you personally, assume she is just overwhelmed with her version of Zombies at her door and give her a break. She already has enough to deal with besides your fragile ego.Even if she sincerely isn't interested, be polite, shake hands, and move on. With the endless options on social media and dating apps, we all have plenty of people to talk to and date. Dating is a numbers game. There are roughly 3.5 billion women on the planet. Just because one particular girl doesn't find you attractive does not mean ALL WOMEN find you unattractive. You are wasting time yelling at or insulting a woman who isn't interested in you. She has a right not to like you. Move on and find someone who does. The ability to take rejection well says a lot about your character and will make you stand out.Both women and men, coffee isn't a marriage proposal. Another piece of what will seem like obvious advice. There is no "the One." There is merely the "One" right now.I have had 3 serious romantic relationships. One lasted 6 months, and 2 lasted 4 years each. With all three at one time I was convinced I would spend the rest of my life with them. It didn't work out. None of them were bad people. No one cheated. Our priorities changed. First one we broke up because she got a job after graduating college in another state and didn't want to do long distance. Second one, I got into graduate school in another state and tried to continue the relationship long distance. It died a slow death as our lives drifted apart. The third just ended. My most recent ex and I broke up because after getting paid minimum wage and taking shit for 5 years as a nurse's aid, taking the MCAT multiple times, volunteering for Americorps, and working for the Health Department, she finally got into medical school. My most recent ex girlfriend has wanted to be a doctor since she was 8 years old. I learned my lesson from graduate school. Relationships are very challenging to maintain in graduate, medical, or law school. I didn't want to stand in her way, so we agreed to break up before she starts classes this summer.There are no wasted experiences. I do not regret dating my ex girlfriends. Each one made me a better person in one way or another. This is why I find the "One" myth so problematic that there is a single perfect person for each of us. I had my three serious relationships from ages 22-32. At the time I dated each one of the 3, I thought she was the "One." All three women are entirely different in terms of values, ideals, lifestyle, interests, looks, and personality. Why is that? Because from 22-32 my personal values, goals, and beliefs changed. That is normal.Each relationship taught me something about myself and what truly mattered to me in a life partner. Each relationship taught me how to communicate better with a romantic partner and balance her needs with my own responsibilities. I became less stubborn and irritable and more patient aa I learned what things really mattered and which things it was ok to compromise or agree to disagree.I truly feel this is not valued enough in our world of endless options via dating apps and social media, the value of dating multiple kinds of people. The accessibility of the internet along with the idea that each person has a "one" who will meet all the needs in our heart of hearts gives us the illusion that all we have to do is fill out a dating profile of our likes and dislikes and wait for that perfect person to come along while eliminating those that don't fit all of our criteria.Here is what I have found. People are pretty awful at knowing what they want deciding what they need. First of all the odds of finding a person that perfectly fits your list of likes and dislikes is dismal. Second, just because you think you want those traits in a partner does not mean that if you find a person with those traits that you will actually be compatible. How many times has a friend or a family member talked you into trying a restaurant you thought you would hate or watch a movie or TV show you thought you would despise only for you to be surprised and realise that the thing you thought you would hate you actually love?In my experience, people tend to work the same way. More times than I can count, I have randomly met someone who if I saw them on Tinder I would have dismissed without a second thought only for them to turn out to be a great friend with benefits, life long friend, or a significant other. Everyone has their own values, and I do not advocate compromising your ethics, religion, morals, or safety for the sake of keeping an open mind. You need to stay true to yourself. However, the older I have gotten the more I have realised that it is often the people you would LEAST expect that become people who will support you or stick by you for your entire life and won't abandon you when things get hard. Likewise, oftentimes the people who seem fantastic on paper when I finally meet them, I cannot stand them.I can think of one person in particular, an anacquaintance, who shares all of my ideals, values, and interests. We hate each other.What is my point? I have watched my friends talk to multiple people on dating apps and social media for months or years and never go on a single date in person. When I ask them why they never go out with any of these people they tell me either that they don't meet all of their requirements or they are lousy at chatting online. Plenty of people prefer meeting someone in person or over Skype to endless text chats. Just because they don't like to text doesn't mean they are bad people. Also as I have said, we each have our personal likes and dislikes. Some are dealbreakers some are not. The only way to know which are dealbreakers is to meet people in real life. That is how you determine your true priorities in a romantic partner.Waiting around for the perfect person is self defeating since you will likely never find someone that checks every single one of your boxes. Therefore, you have to decide which are most important. You can only learn that by dating many many different types of people.What is the solution? Date more casually and don't take rejection personally. A date isn't a marriage proposal. Stop worrying about whether someone is your life partner based on their chat, text, or online dating profile. Go out there and meet all different kinds of people. You will never regret the experiences you have and the things you can learn if you out yourself out there. Each of those experiences will make you a more interesting' confident stronger and more compassionate romantic partner. If they meet your minimum requirements, take a chance and have coffee. It's just coffee. Not marriage. You can leave at any time. If it doesn't work out, be polite, say thank you, and you still learned something. All you lost was an hour of your time. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit