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adultswim2021 · 8 months

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Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #27: “Jazz” | September 8, 2008 - 12:30AM | S03E07

Hey, this is a good one. Alright? Perhaps less-than-classic. This one has a runner where Tim & Eric are Jazz musicians who smugly tell meandering stories that make them sound like a coupla stupid dopes. I like these segments mostly! Ending the show with the smug delivery of “online? What like WAITING online at the BANK??” is just great. To me. I keep forgetting to say “to me” after all my opinions, sorry! There are a handful more segments in the deleted scenes of these two funny funny jazz men.

The cold open is James Quall doing Ronald Regan, probably originally shot as part of the season two sketch. This seems slightly like they are scraping the bottom of the barrel, but it turns out they’re setting up a strong sketch in the middle of the episode. More on that… LATER!! Anyway, this sketch references David Stockman, which is an ancient reference. He worked for Regan and may or may not have tried to list ketchup as a vegetable in some school lunch legislation. It is hilarious that this is where his mind goes. Tim & Eric sorta acknowledge the weirdness of the reference by putting up a bogus, likely unrelated portrait of the supposed David Stockman as if it explains anything.

Maria Bamford! For some reason I fail to think of her as a member of the Tim & Eric family even though she is maybe one of the best guests ever. That is not a dig on Maria, Maria is such a singular entity that it’s hard to think of her being part of anything else. Even me periodically thinking about how she’s the funniest person in the world, possibly, is to vastly underrate her. She fits in with the Tim & Eric universe really well, I THINK, TO ME. Here she’s a host of a show about cleaning up after your cat. The little belly crawl towards the litter box in the opening makes me laugh, and I realized that this imagery used to pop into my head everytime I had to scoop my cat’s litter. Lucy. Her name was Lucy. She has passed.

There’s a fairly good Doug animation in this one, too featuring funny guys and their funny hats. This leads into a Beaver Boys sketch that is exceptionally brainless. The Beaver Boys are up to their old tricks!! They are on a sex-having date with freaking TWINS, but they blow it by not being able to control themselves and gorging themselves on shrimp and white wine being served at the table next to theirs. It’s very stupid, but I see the Beaver Boys as some kind of meta commentary on the nature of very specifically-premised one-note recurring characters in various forms of media, especially on sketch comedy shows. Their return is the joke. I also just like this sketch, despite there not being much to it. There is something funny about the stereotypical way the girls get up and leave, angry, as though what they are doing is typical guy behavior and not the product of a serious brain disease, which is what these boys must have.

Probably the best sketch is a fake trailer for a James Quall biopic where Quall is portrayed by Saturday Night Live’s Bill Hader. His impression is immaculate, and he’s very funny as Quall. There are some charming outtakes from this one, including one where David Liebe Hart (who shines as himself) ruins a take with indigestion, and one where we see the real James Quall watching Hader work his magic and laughing like crazy.

Everything outside of the Quall trailer feels a little dashed off, but I found most of it funny and the episode worked for me as a whole. I think a lot of what made this episode great is the editing, which I think this show should have won an Emmy for.

I forgot to mention the guy who wants to make sure his condo has enough room for his boys. Dang it. I love that guy.

EPHEMERA CORNER

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: From the Kentucky Nightmare DVD (aka Volume 5) (September 11, 2008)

The final DVD release of Space Ghost Coast to Coast… EVER! This was a two-disc set that included the final Cartoon Network season and the first Adult Swim season. This was the first time I ever saw the uncut Fire Ant. The extras included the colonial man ending of Snatch, which before I’d only seen in a very low-quality internet vid, Table Read Extra, the Conan and Busta Rhymes Raw Interviews, and two nice videos of George Lowe and, C. Martin Croker’s audio recording session for “Kentucky Nightmare”. George’s in particular is fun to watch, because he loves to josh between takes. There’s also easter eggs, but I forget what they are.

This is a GREAT release and like Volume 4, it was only available through the Adult Swim online store, and is considered very rare. At one point, it sold out and they repressed it and put it on the store for $15 and you could get a copy of Volume 4 for $5. Imagine! Paying a combined $20 for volumes 4 & 5 of Space Ghost Coast to Coast! I came perilously close to selling both my volume 4 and 5 DVDs when I was jobless, but was able to pull them off eBay when I made some money sucking dick.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job

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the-galaxys--local-catgirl · 2 years

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Ahit characters food preferences / favorite foods hcs!!

This also has my hc names and stuff :3

Hat Kid / Kelpie- Kelpie's favorite foods are cookies and spaghetti. They generally just like sweets, pastries, and pastas, they also like things like ravioli, gummies, and sweet rolls

Pup hates anything with cheese or mustard, other than that pup will eat anything really

Bow Kid / Tabby- Tabby likes ice cream, especially Neapolitan and Cotton Candy. Like Kelpie she'll really at anything tho, the only thing he won't eat is stuff with gluten since she has Coeliac Disease

Meow doesn't like blackberries and most salty foods though

Mustache Girl / Penelope- Mu likes simple kiddy foods like mac & cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, etc etc. She also really likes seafood, especially shrimp. Star doesn't like most sweets besides a rare few.

Mu is also lactose intolerant, but that never stops her.

Cooking Cat / Charlotte- cc likes almost anything, they're a chef after all, their favorite foods are any type of comfort foods. Though they don't like seafood, it's not like they won't eat it at all just not her favorite.

The only type of food cc hates is fast food the stuff makes her feel sick.

Mafia Boss / Romeo- mb has a GIANT sweet tooth, he absolutely adores anything sweet he just has a big soft spot of it. I feel like he'd mostly like chocolates and lollipops. He also likes muffins, especially chocolate (surprise surprise) and banana.

Other foods I think he'd like is pastas, I also imagine he'd adore any type of cultural food. I can't think of anything he'd dislike? Idk maybe fish? Bc working in a fish factory might make you sick of it even if you've never eaten it.

I feel like he'd just eat and like anything without question

Goofy Mafia / Sasha- Goofy likes Italian and Russian foods, and soups, idk he seems like a soup fella. His favorite is probably Ukha.

I also feel like he'd like cakes, especially cheesecake or red velvet

The Conductor / Bonnie- Con's favorite food is pumpkin pie, she just likes pies in general. Con probably enjoys any type of comfort foods, as well as simple meals.

She also enjoys quick stuff like bagels and muffins, stuff you can eat and get quickly since she's used to having them while working.

DJ Grooves / Piers- I hc Grooves as vegetarian so obviously he'd enjoy anything without meat in it. He probably likes mostly salads or pastas.

He also enjoys snack foods, like popcorn, chips, ect.

Also he's French so he probably like traditional French foods. It also has a soft spot for sweets, not that spook would ever admit it.

The Snatcher / Alaire- canonically Snat likes bacon (ew), so he probably likes other type of breakfast foods as well such as pancakes, eggs, toast ect ect. I feel like he'd also like fancy stuff, he is a prince after all! So anything that could be expensive he'd try

Queen Vanessa- Vanessa also has a major sweet tooth (like mother like son eh?) she definitely loves chocolates, candies, treats anything of the such. She also likes simple "commoners" foods, just bc she's used to eating it when seeing her people which she does a lot.

Also she likes Mexican food, but that's mostly bc I see her as Latina.

The Florist / Celestina- Celestina enjoys salads and fish, simple as that. She's pretty picky so she doesn't quite enjoy anything else besides those. Her favorites are salmon and Caesar salad

The Empress / Hoshi- Emp has high class refined tastes, so she's only eat the best most fancy foods. That's it that's all I have I ran out of ideas hehshdeg

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mariaiscrafting · 3 years

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Ranboo Quotes™ from the cake high stream

“‘It’s past your bedtime.’ It’s past the time where I asked.”

“If I get fortune again, I’m going to start a war.”

“Thank you Ashy Cat! Oh god, someone should take that cat out of the fire, if it’s that ashy.”

“You stayed up just for this? Well, I am very sorry.”

“'Go to sleep.’ Okay, bye guys, ending the stream.”

“I am reverse funny.”

“Rust is just a car disease, think about it.”

“'You’re being weird.’ You’re being unmodded.”

“'Someone spiked the cake.’ Yeah, they put a knife in it, and then I got stabbed.”

“I’m going to make my stream notification more and more violent. One day, it’s just going to say, ‘Run.’”

“'What are you on?’ My chair.”

“Someone in chat just put, ‘Sorry Ran Boo, but you’re not funny.’ I am aware.”

“You guys can’t see it ‘cause I don’t have a face cam, but I just hit a whip.”

*someone tells him to lie down* *proceeds to fully recline in his chair*

“Watch this.” *misses water jump* “What a god.”

“Be always in fear of me. You should always be afraid of me, at all times.”

“Whenever I see that someone lost sleep because of my streams, I fist bump myself.”

“'How’d you introduce your parents to streaming?’ My parents do not stream.”

*talking about volleyball* “I got hit in the face a lot. For some reason, my face was like a ball magnet, so it was just consistent ball-to-face contact.”

“Colorblind arc? No, I’ll be able to see more colors. How about colorful arc? I’ll invent colors, like schlorple. That’s a color I just invented.”

“I don’t know anything about shrimp, I’m a Minecraft streamer.”

“I have a mirror right here, I can actually do a face reveal to myself.” *screams upon seeing his own face*

“A 20-car pileup has started because of a RanbooLive stream. RanbooLive has now been sued for $1,300 in vehicle damage.”

“'You’re giving me simultaneous Nyquil and Dayquil vibes.’ I AM THE QUIL!”

“'Please clean out your inventory.’ Please clean out your desk, you’re fired.”

“Bo Burnham. I love Bo Burnham… this is a terrible stream.”

“I’m not on the top of Twitch. There’s no way I’m the most viewed person on the entire site.” *checks* *bursts out laughing*

“Corpse? That is not Corpse. It’s me, Ranboo, the entire time! You have been Ramboozled.”

“'Bad joke?’ Bad comment, get out of my chat!”

*completely unprompted* “Philza Minecraft. Philza Minecraft is fantastic.”

“'You’re going to hurt yourself by being this energetic.’ I’m going to hurt myself by flying out of my chair.”

“'Do you have any songs that you associate with your character?’ Just three hours of screaming.”

“I wanna start buying a lot of engagement rings and wearing them so that everyones thinks I’m married to a lot of people when actually I’m just really alone.”

“'Stairs.’ Oh thank god, otherwise I would’ve had no idea! If that sign weren’t there, how else would I know there were stairs?” *breaks sign* “Oh god, 45-degree floors?! What are these?!”

*screams* “I am completely okay.”

“I’m having what they call a 'beginning of life crisis.’ I’m just having a crisis.”

*attacking a Piglin* “Why are you attacking me, my kind sir?! Have at thee! Begone!”

“You’re making me blush with the Lightning McQueen bed.”

“'Can I have your hand in marriage?’ No, I’d prefer to have my hand attached to my body, actually.”

“I give this server a gift by being on this server because I am a gift.”

“Apparently I can do a really good Sonic the Hedgehog voice. And that is all I’m going to say on the matter.”

“Ha HA, I love making my chat upset- No, I’m kidding, please stay.”

“Hey guys, welcome to the podcast. Today we’re going to be talking about different types of beans. There’re baked beans, mashed beans, potato beans. There’s so many types of beans.”

“I’m so good at segways. I’m like a mall cop.”

“I wanna become a Sonic voice actor when I grow up.”

*upbeat, Sonic voice* “No matter how fast I run, I just can’t escape my problems!” “Everyday, I live in constant turmoil of my past mistakes!” “I’ve seen my friends die multiple times!”

“I do my character lore in Sonic the Hedgehog voice.” *Sonic voice* “I forgot!” “That’s exactly what you weren’t supposed to say Fundy, you coward!”

“Dream has no house, but he lives in my mind rent-free!”

“'Can you please stream forever?’ I got you, infinity stream, let’s gooo!”

“Techno versus Dream who? It’s Ranboo versus Magma Slime!”

“I’m going to die tonight, but it will be worth it because *jellybeans!*”

#god just #the vibes of this stream were immaculate #lol i wrote these the entire time i was watching so a couple may be slight paraphrases #mcyt #ranboo #dream smp #bangers #.txt #100+#500+#2k+#1k+#3k+

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tg-headcanons · 3 years

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Do you have tsukiyama headcanons? c: (about shuu, or about the family in general, or even about shuu's mum cuz they never talked about her much)

Ooooo!

Their family owns a LOT of shit, so much materials and money that if there’s a ghoul safe space, the Tsukiyama’s almost certainly have a hand in it, if not own it outright. Providing some accommodations to other ghouls is the one real act of charity they do. This includes everything from doctors to cafes to hotels that are meant for them, but the promise of safety can only be spread through word of mouth

Since their family fucked up their genes with Alabama shit, they can’t become kakuja. Because of this, digesting ghoul meat is difficult and can give them food poisoning, but this doesn’t stop them. They’re like lactose intolerant people but instead of milk it’s RC, they keep eating it knowing damn well what will happen.

Shuu doesn’t actually like coffee, he just drinks it to look cool

Mirumo is weird as shit but everyone’s used to it. Screaming out of his window for seemingly no reason? Eh that’s normal. He shoved papers he no longer needs into a hedge and walked away? It’s fine there’s servants for that. He’s laying face down on the floor in the middle of the hall? Well it is Wednesday

Kanae is a trans man. As simple as that. Ghouls are accepting and it’s really a non-issue, but sometimes humans will make rude comments about it. Those humans are all dead now.

As caring as the family is towards other ghouls, they don’t see humans as equals. They interact with them only out of social obligation or hire one or two as servants in mean games of “how long will it take them to figure us out?” Before they kill them. It’s not uncommon for them to purchase humans at the auction as meat or short lived pets

The only human any of them respect is Chei, and they sort of have to because Shuu practically adopted her like a feral cat. She genuinely has no interest in exposing anyone so they do their best to make her comfortable when she’s over. They even bought some food, but since they have no idea what humans like it’s comprised of raw eggs (they don’t have any stuff to cook with), some apples, frozen shrimp, a shaker of oregano, a bag of chips, and caprisuns. They tried their best, but Kanae’s expertise is in hunting, not grocery shopping

Shuu’s mother died when he was very young from an autoimmune disease for which there was no ghoul safe treatment for at the time. It’s that that motivated her husband to invest more in hospitals and medical research. It was years later that a ghoul safe treatment was made, most people weren’t sure why the Tsukiyama family would spend so much money making another weird brand of a medication that already exists, but it saved countless ghouls. Mirumo hopes that it’s a good way to honor her memory

Shuu doesn’t remember much about his mother aside from sharing meals with her, so he’s always held food a little sacred

Kanae was there for almost every stage of Shuu’s life and has seen so many humiliating stages, notably his horrible music taste and some very regrettable fandoms he was heavily involved in in middle school. Kanae doesn’t drink often, but when he does, he is an open book of information that would destroy Shuu. It’s this way that the other servants learned about his early teen infatuation with blood on the dance floor and he’s made it clear that if anyone talks about it he’s killing them

Shuu has a spray bottle full of vinegar with his name on it at Anteiku for when he refuses to stop being weird to Kaneki. He hates the smell and it’s an effective deterrent

Sometimes Mirumo will invite his son to scream out of a window with him. Father-son bonding at its finest

All ghouls, regardless of class, will get into cuddle piles. Mirumo and Shuu can tell themselves that they’re in a pile with their servants just to quiet their instincts all they want, but deep down they know they care about them

Kanae has the fashion sense of a 12 year old and if he isn’t put into one uniform or another he’s wearing cargo shorts, sandals and a hoodie

#tokyo ghoul #tsukiyama shuu #mirumo tsukiyama #Tsukiyama shuu headcanons #kanae von rosewald #tokyo ghoul headcanon #tokyo ghoul pinto #chie hori

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sunshine-tattoo · 4 years

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since Rosh Hashanah is tomorrow, I figured I'd go ahead and talk about some Jewish things that a lot people I know have been confused about.

why do Jews see pigs as "dirty"?

this is a bit of a misunderstanding.

Jews don't necessarily think of pigs as dirty. Like rolling in filth or whatever. pigs left on their own are actually quite clean animals. They keep up hygiene a lot like cats. They only roll in mud to prevent sunburn. Rhinos do this too.

What we mean by unclean is that pork meat can potentially contain lots of diseases and parasites that are transmittable to humans.

back before things like antibiotics and understanding of germs, people were limited on health through observation.

and somebody in the Jewish community noticed that lots of people got sick after eating pork. this happened a few more times and so they said "ok clearly this isn't safe to eat so let's ban it."

the same can be applied to shellfish. you can get super sick if shrimp or oysters aren't cooked right or contaminated.

and because nobody had any way to test if it was icky, they just said we aren't gonna risk it. Hebrew tribe, don't eat this.

this brings us to the subject of kosher practices when it comes to food and cleaning.

the idea of kosher is definitely a spiritual thing, but it's also deeply rooted in practical terms and observation.

the Jewish people are very big on records and taking notes. in many ways, a precursor to the scientific method.

people kept track as best they could of what sort of things encouraged illness and what did not.

eventually they wrote it all down and had a list of do's and don'ts for how live healthily.

they also included things like cruelty towards animals and other people because Judaism is all about kindness and doing good.

And this is not a thing exclusive to us. In Europe, people used brass doorknobs because they naturally disinfect themselves. People didn't know why this worked but it was a good way to stay healthy.

so what does all this mean in the modern world?

after all, we have ways to make sure food is safe to eat and that things are clean.

well for some jews, they continue to live how their ancestors did by only following kosher rules. Because it connects them to the past and makes them feel good and safe.

other Jews, like me, respect that kosher practices were some of the first ways of keeping clean and healthy.

But we don't follow the old ways to the letter because we recognize that times have changed and humans now know so much more about healthy and safety. To the point that we have government regulations to ensure that everybody stays safe.

I actually had a good laugh at my uncle once because the family was at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant and he got a soup with pork and shrimp in it!

we teased him the whole evening that our ancestors were scolding him for such a ridiculously un-kosher dish.

#judaism #rosh hashanah #Rosh Hashanah 2020 #Hebrew #Hebrew tribe #questions about Judaism from goyim #kosher

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #458

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name”

What does your doormat say? I... actually am not sure. I don't pay any attention. What do you order from most sit down restaurants? Chicken tenders are my go-to safe option, ha ha. Or shrimp. Who was the last person you talked about love/relationships with? Sara. I wanted her advice. Where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed? This was way too long ago, dude. Do you remember the last time you went against someone’s advice? Very recently. :x What day would you consider the best day of your life? Why? Idk, really. Would you say you’re too experienced or too unexperienced for your age? I am embarrassingly unexperienced. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Hot pink. I don't care for nail polish. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? Uhhhh... What was the last charity/cause you donated to? Children With Hair Loss, when I cut a shitload of my hair off for the style I have now. Getting that certificate that my hair was used is to this day one of the warmest feelings I've ever experienced. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara. What is something you know very little about? Economics. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. I lost Jason. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, three of my siblings (all have since gotten remarried and are very happy<3), and I'm sure more distant relatives, too. Does your family go ‘all out’ during the holidays? No. How often in a year do you go to the mall to get new clothes? Pretty much never. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? What was your reaction? Someone on Facebook when I updated my profile pic, probably. I was very flattered, of course. As someone with a SHIT self-image, it means a lot to me. Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? I'm single, but hypothetically, nope. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Some, but only because they preferred it. I don't remember all of them, other than it was common in college. Do you blow-dry, towel-dry or air-dry your hair? Towel-dry and best I can first, then let it air-dry. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? ... One of the reasons I chose to go to actual school instead of homeschooling when I started HS was because I liked the thought of making actual friends and maybe being a guitarist if any wanted to start bands lmao. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Watermelon, probs. Are you a good leader? lol no Would you ever go bear hunting? I'm strictly opposed to hunting for sport, but even if I wasn't, I would NOT be going after bears. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? Wow, no. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? No. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don't have one. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? I'm a v basic bitch and love me some Waffle House lmfao. How much money do you think you cost your parents? I. Don't. Want. To. Know. With so much medical stuff... holy shit. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I eat spiral ham, because I don't like turkey in that form. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? Yes. :') Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Close, no. My mom was a close call, though... Her cancer was very, very close to being stage 4. Have you ever been to a waterpark? Yeah, as a kiddo. Describe the person you like/love in one word: Hilarious. Do you enjoy creative writing? Hell yeah man. If so, what things do you like writing about the most? Meerkats in a fantasy setting. Do you own any windchimes? Yes. Mom has one, I believe. Have you ever been known for something extremely negative? No. Would you say you’ve made a lot of people proud? Hell no. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year? Twice. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? I think I've made that abundantly obvious in the past few surveys lmao. Does your birth name mean anything in another language or sense? It just means "of Britain." I wish my name had better meaning, lol. What is your favorite desert? THE KALAHARI because MEERKATS!!!!!!!!!!! :') Have you ever been called a good kisser? Well not directly, but no one's ever complained? Have you ever stepped on a bee? No. Who is your newest friend? Hmmm... I haven't made a new friend in a very long time. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. I'm an RPer. The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? That I wish I was NEARLY as hot as her lmao. What do you like about your birthday? We go out to eat wherever I want, yum. The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? That he needs to mESSAGE ME BACK Are you currently sick at all? No. Has anyone ever asked for your autograph? Er, no. What’s one subject that makes you feel uncomfortable? Sex. Who did you last send a friend request to? Idk. What candy makes your face pucker? None that I've tried. I handle sour treats very well. Do you believe that the number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you know any marines? Jason's dad was one. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. :') Do you know anyone who does a lot of pills? I guess me, but they're prescription pills, and I don't abuse them. Mom has a lot, too. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? Eminem. Either "Love the Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? No. Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? Nope. What race do you see the most in your neighborhood? African American. Have you ever walked in on someone accidentally while they were nude? No, I don't think so. Have you ever wanted to get your monroe pierced? Nah, it'd look weird on me. Do you own anything that involves Betty Boop? Nope. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Yeah; I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of Linkin Park's "Bleed It Out" right now. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? The sour ones!! Red was always my favorite. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Girt. Jason is a very close second, but Girt... he saw me at rock fucking bottom. He just showed up at the hospital unannounced after my suicide attempt (he knew because yay for writing a stupid fucking suicide note on Facebook) to help comfort me. He saw me dead to the fucking world and just done with everything. When’s the last time you were on the phone after 2 AM? Wow... probably not since a few days before the aforementioned suicide attempt and I called Jason's landline, desperate to talk to him. His mom picked up and talked to me for like two whole fucking hours. I'm tearing up pretty bad just remembering it, seeing as she's dead now... She cared for me so much. I miss her so, so much. Enough of this question, I'm about to start sobbing. :x What would you do if your best friend got an abortion? Honestly? Be relieved. I really don't think her body could handle pregnancy. What would you do if your father left your mother? That happened, and I hated him for years. What would you do if your bf/gf’s face became mutilated in an accident? Love them all the same. I don't care about appearances. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen in your life? *shrug* Have you ever dated two different people with the same name? No. That would be so weird. What are you deathly afraid of? Pregnancy. Internal parasites. Which unborn babies technically are. Do you know anyone who’s addicted to drugs and, if so, are you friends with them? I know many potheads, and one I'm pretty close with. Have you ever owned a golf cart before and, if so, what color was it? No. Do you have a sibling who’s a complete deadbeat and, if so, which sibling is it? Definitely not. All my siblings are hard workers that have dreams and aspirations they're either working towards or have achieved. Do you own the new Guitar Hero and, if so, what’s your favorite song on it? I have no clue what the newest one is. My favorite song to play in any of the games though is The Eagles' "Hotel California." It just feels good to play, and the ending solo fuckin' slams. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? An overdose on cold medicine. What was the most length you’ve ever cut off your hair and why did you cut it? 8+ inches because I no longer wanted long hair. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''ordinary man'' by ozzy osbourne

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keishins-ukai · 3 years

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I Just Wanna Be Your Favourite Boy

(here’s a link if you prefer reading on ao3)

The amount of alcohol flowing in Kuroo’s veins was not enough to distract him from how pathetic all of this truly was . He was at his first University party, he was surrounded by beautiful people and free alcohol, he should be having the time of his life, right? Tetsurō sat in his friend’s garden with his back resting against the cold brick of the house, his head resting there too. His arms were balanced on his pulled-up knees, his eyes closed.

To any party-goers that ventured outside this would look normal, like the first year partied too hard and passed out super early – it's not like that kind of thing doesn’t happen all the time. Then they’d notice the earbuds still in his ears (though they weren’t playing anything, he just didn’t want to speak to anyone), the dry tear tracks down his cheeks, the ever so slight shaking of his chin. Well, that or the glitter-like sparkle that seemed to be all around the black-haired boy

Tears had become a very common part of Tetsurō’s life recently, a fact he hated with every fibre of his being. Six months ago, you would need the saddest song on earth put in the background of the saddest video on earth and he might have considered crying. Now all it took now was the thought of blond and black hair, golden eyes, mint vodka that smelled like his shampoo…

The stars hadn’t appeared until his first day of university. He had texted Kenma when he’d woken up - Kuroo always texted as soon as he woke up – some dumb chemistry joke he’d found the night before, trying to convey his excitement at finally starting his course. Kenma never usually replied immediately, though this day he did, though Kuroo didn’t actually know why (Kuroo would look back and see it as the first sign. Kenma told him everything)

Kenma had only sent a gif of a cat showing almost complete apathy, but Kuroo’s heart started racing nonetheless, mind spiralling at all of the possible meanings behind the response and never once landing on the real answer (Kenma just woke up earlier than normal). They’d texted a lot of the day, Kuroo only turning his phone off during classes, not wanting to make any bad impressions.

While it obviously hadn’t been the reason, in the following months Kuroo had started to blame turning his phone off as the inciting event as when he turned his phone on he got the notification, the moment that changed everything. It was so small, so seemingly inconsequential.

Instagram: Kodzuken has posted a photo

Kenma’s Instagram consisted mainly of photos from games he was playing, purposely unflattering pictures of himself or animals. But that day was different. He posted a picture of him and Hinata, and the orange-haired boy was positively grinning into the camera, Kenma wasn’t even smiling but Kuroo could tell he was happy, that he was less stressed than he had been for a lot of the summer.

Kuroo knew that what he told himself was unfair, that there simply wasn’t enough data to support the idea of ‘he likes Shōyō more’. But none of that mattered, Kuroo just knew. He didn’t need evidence to prove that Kenma had feelings for the shrimp, the ever so slight dimple was proof enough – even Kuroo had only seen that dimple once, and he wasn’t the one who bought it out.

Crying in the men’s bathroom, as it turns out, is neither very comfortable nor as discreet as one would imagine, though that didn’t matter to Tetsuro as the itching and burning sensation was the only thing he could think about. ‘What the hell is this?’ repeated in his mind as he did his best to stop the small glass-like crystals from falling to the floor and creating even more noise. After spending what felt like an eternity researching what could possibly in all hell be happening to him he moved, hating the quiet twinkling sounds in his pocket.

‘Of course this would happen to me.’ Kuroo would think to himself repeatedly over the next few days ‘Star fucking tears’.

Stars Tears

Caused by intense but unrequited love, always romantic, ‘star tears’ is a rare condition wherein the afflicted will secrete small crystalline shards from their tear ducts, the crystals often being compared to stars which is where the illness got its name. Side effects from stage two ‘star tears’ can include

- Leaking tear ducts

- Dryness of the eyeballs

- Itchiness in the eye area

- Blocked tear ducts

And in some extreme cases

- Partial or complete colour blindness

- Partial or complete sight loss.

As the disease is caused by unrequited love there is no ‘mainstream’ treatment which can cure this, some patients never being cured while others were reportedly healed if the person they loved also loved them back, in a romantic sense.

Even though he was aware of how bad an idea it was, Kuroo remained sat in his friend's garden, though now his earphones were playing something. More specifically he had his ‘Kenma’ playlist on which was playing all of the songs and bands that the shorter boy had ever introduced him to. They were playing at full volume to drown out his own thoughts - the ones nibbling on his mind, making him think of lazy nights playing ‘Majora’s Mask’ with him , of the nights leading up to Christmas making their cinnamon and raisin cookies, of the toothbrush that had been Kuroo’s spare but that he’d stolen because of their frequent sleepovers.

He really didn’t want to cry again, having decided that his new rate of three times a week was far too much, but the stars demanded more still. In the beginning, they would only appear if he’d seen his face, whether it be over skype or as a photo. That had been remarkably easy to handle - Kuroo had just moved all of the photos of him to the ‘hidden’ folder on his phone, and minimise the skype screen when they talked. Easy.

But then Kuroo started to really miss him, started to think of him almost every moment of the day, affecting his sleep and work schedule. That’s when he realised how truly fucked he was. You can’t just pick and choose what parts of friendship you want to participate in and expect it to remain completely intact. Kenma didn’t know what was going on, but he could sense a change, making more of an effort to start their conversations, to not leave Kuroo out of what was going on his life, to make sure that the elder knew that they were still friends.

It was unfair how this made everything worse, that Kenma’s thoughtful inclusions made Kuroo feel more excluded than ever, made him feel both like he had a chance and also made him know that Kenma saw him as his closest friend and that he wouldn’t be more. Kenma had always worried with his crushes that initiating things with them would scare them off, that he would be seen as overbearing. Rather than risking anything, he would just wait until he thought the other would like him back before asking them on a date.

The tears started to increase, them coming at just the thought of Kenma when Kuroo hadn’t got any prevention methods. His most effective was to drown out any other noise with the sound of his own music, even investing in better earphones to ensure that he wouldn’t be hearing any other external noises. However, his playlist choice could definitely be improved upon since every voice, every chord, every bar had the Kenma Kozume seal of approval, making the task of not thinking about the boy almost impossible.

Not even twenty minutes alone and his mind wandered, going to almost every stop in Tetsurō’s brain before stopping at one that made his heart dance. If it were a book the edges would be folded, the spine broke, and some of the pages ripped just from the sheer amount of use.

“Stop looking at my ass!” Kenma had demanded, trying his best to wriggle away from Kuroo “This isn’t for you”. The blond wasn’t looking at him, trying to pretend that his attention was on the syringe in his hand.

“You’re the one who asked me to do this.” Kuroo reminds, reaching over for the injection. “And knowing I was coming over to do this you decided to wear trousers rather than shorts when all I need is your thigh, so…” Their eyes meet and the elder man winks.

Kenma’s face scrunches up in retaliation, fingers lingering for just a moment against Kuroo’s, placing the syringe gently in his hand. “What are you trying to suggest?”

He pretends to think for a second when he wipes a disinfectant wipe on his leg, knowing that he technically didn’t need to but also wanting to be as safe as possible. “That maybe you wanted me to see your ass?”

The youngers face calms into a neutral expression. “Dream on Tetsurō.” Despite being quite scared of needles, he had decided on having testosterone injections rather than pills or any other alternative, finding that needing to do injections more infrequently benefitted him more. He’d also figured that getting someone else to administer the injection would have negated his fear.

Kuroo had agreed, why would it be more difficult for an injection to occur when you’re not the one putting the needle in your skin? The answer; Kenma was a wriggler. He moved back on the bed every time that Tetsurō tried to move closer to him “Come on, kitten.” he chides, the pet name tacked on as a joke.

His only answer is a hiss, a literal fucking hiss, as Kenma tries to move his leg away again, but is caught by the ankle and pressed back down to the bed. Kuroo eventually managed to give Kenma his testosterone, despite the difficulty and found that when he went home there was only one thing on his mind. The hiss.

Most people who met Kenma Kozume thought he was polite, shy and awkward. And he was all of those things, but he was also so much more. He was funny, intuitive, self-assured and weird and Tetsurō loved that so much. As soon as he thought the word ‘love’, everything seemed to make sense. Every look that lasted too long, every thought replaced by one of Kenma, every feeling of longing to be with his best friend.

Tetsurō was in love with his partner in crime. He still is.

Rex Orange County is a band that frequently blasts on Kuroo’s phone, them having many songs that fit the themes of unrequited love so well that he had no choice but to really connect with their music. Though there was one song in particular that is constantly on his mind, the song being called ‘Best Friend’.

At some point in his reminiscing Kuroo had put on the song, immediately pressing the repeat button as he moved his head to stare into the night sky.

But no, it wasn't meant to be and see, I wasn't made for you

And you weren't made for me

When he was younger he’d wanted to be an astronomer, having found the stars and the moon fascinating, but he couldn’t stand the sight of them anymore. His hands were shaking, shoulders shaking, lip shaking. Maybe if he got some closure he could move on and get rid of this disease, finally feel whole again.

Love someone for loving you instead of someone really cool

That makes your heart melt

Tetsurō needed to turn this song off, to stop fucking thinking about him, about the man he had literal scientific proof that he doesn’t love him back, but the pure boost of serotonin he got when he thought about Kenma was worth it. It was worth the pain, it was worth the constantly itchy eyes, it was worth feeling sick to his stomach anytime he sees a twinkle.

Oh, I still wanna be your favourite boy

I wanna be the one that makes your day

The one you think about as you lie awake

He started typing the text before he could stop himself, feeling like he was watching himself make this extremely poor decision but having absolutely no power to stop himself. Even if it wouldn’t make Kenma love him it would be cathartic, right? And as long as he’s vague enough he could preserve their friendship, maybe even claim plausible deniability if necessary. The text read: ‘listening to this and thinking about you’ along with a link to Best Friend.

Kenma’s response was very short, only three words but enough to send his heart into a tailspin, for it to stop completely in its tracks, to make him feel like he’d never breathe again. ‘I’m dating Shōyō’

That night Kuroo lost the golden hue of his eyes.

--------------

A special thanks to @wanderlustsky for beta reading this! it was amazingly helpful <3

#kuroken #haikyū!!#angst #star tears #no happy ending #best friend #rex orange county #haikyuu kuroo #kozume kenma #haikyuu kenma #kuroo tetsuro

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orleans-jester · 3 years

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Step 1 Revenge.

Clopin wasn’t always the picture of sophistication. He could be cruel. He could be crude. He could be downright lewd. And what he was doing to the Oogie Boogie house, walking on borrowing one of Thomas’s hardhats and safety vests, fake leg hidden beneath the jeans - well, it was downright childish admittedly. But sometimes, sometimes the best things in life were like that. Just a bit immature.

He wasn’t going to kill Oogie. Not yet. He was going to play a bit of cat and mouse. She didn’t even know that he existed which made it so much easier. Any of the Laveaus, the Savages, their friends, they’d be caught before going anywhere near the premesis of the almost fully complete Boogie house. But a stranger with golden eyes and not the slightest wiff of magic? Just another construction man on the job.

Whistle, whistle, whistle. Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work we go.

He had a toolbox with him, though the only tool that it carried was a single screwdriver. The rest - well, the Boogies would be finding that out soon enough.

“Who are you?” Oogie would ask, eyes narrowed as this stranger entered her home. She’d already fucked through a line of these construction men, but this one was new.

“Air conditioning, ma’am. Wouldn’t want a pretty face like yours to boil in this heat, would we?” He asked, managing not to gag on the fake kind words. She waved him off, the compliment working. She was still stewing on her failures. Finder, gone. Vampire, on the loose. Hunters hanging around. Stone still who knows where.

So to the vents within the walls that he would go. But he wasn’t there to fix anything. Probably wouldn’t know how even if he had been. That’s what the other things in the toolbox were for. He was left alone to his own devices, which was rarely a good thing for a Clopin to be.

Step one? Spray cheese. Cover up those vents, using it like a damn caulking gun. Everywhere. Inside. Empty out a ziplock bag of cut up hot dogs. Uncooked. It stuck into the cheese. A bottle of ketchup, give that a good spray. It could cause a surprising stench. Everyone under-estimated condiments.

Next up, pulling out of that tool box was three bags of frozen cooked shrimp. Empty that in there, watchin some of it fall down the vents never to be found again. Oof.

And then

The piece de resistance

Since Oogie seemed to like dick so much -

There had been an odd surge in the city of men coming in claiming that their dicks had been caught off by a - well, none of them would come out and say prostitute because that would admit that they had been going to those women, but by a woman nonetheless. Might not have Claudette’s face but he could still fit into those pretty dresses. And Scout had a plethora of wigs to choose from.

More ziplock bags. Dicks on ice. Big dicks. Little dicks. Foreskin dicks. Diseased dicks. Black dicks. White dicks. Skin-tagged dicks. Toss em in, toss em in. Probably a great metaphor for how wide Oogie’s vagina was from all of the dicks that she had taken. Then the bags, the bottles, the spray can, all back into that tool box, the vent cover right back onto the walls and out he would walk with a wham bam, thank you ma’am to where the dune buggy of the gods was hidden and away home he’d drive.

It wasn’t something that was going to make the news. Oogie would never admit to anyone that she had been gotten the better of. But Clopin would have that slick satisfaction. Next time someone would mention shrimp, you could bet that he would get the giggles.

#Clopin HC #Oogie HC

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myths-of-fantasy · 4 years

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For everyone moving out on your own and wanting a pet, let me clarify something:

Fish are not easy pets no matter what anyone says

If you're doing it right, they're just as expensive (more so sometimes) as a traditional cat or a dog. They need way more equipment than most people realize. Here's a list from someone with lovely fish:

This has been said for a while but fish bowls are only appropriate for maybe a single fry and to hold the fish while you clean it's tank- it's like forcing you dog to eat, sleep, poop and play in his crate

Fish need toys. Little castles, sand if yout fish likes digging (yes they do that) and pebbles. Give them places to hide of they wanna

Temperature!! If your water is too warm, your fish will get sick or assume it's breeding season. Let me tell you, the phrase "breed like rabbits" should be "breed like fish" cause if you let them have their way, you will go from one fish to 45 in one day. If the water is too cold, they'll get sluggish, ill and eventually die.

Different fish = different food. If you feed them the wrong thing, you'll come back to the unfortunate sight of a floater. Dried food is cool (and often cheaper) but in my experience, fish prefer frozen food. My one fish Rosie loves brine shrimp combos but my ciclids are in love with Beefheart but both groups are okay with bloodworms.

The most important thing here: CHECK YOUR PH LEVELS- that's someone a lot of pet stores never said a thing about! If your water is too/not enough acid for your specifc breed of fish, they will die

Watch their colors. Fish turn white when stressed (or when they're angry you gave them dried food instead of frozen food) so if your pretty orange fish turns Stark white? Then you need to check everything with your tank. Food, gravel, temperature, PH lvls and whether or not they're beinf bullied by other fish. In time, you'll learn your fish's quirks (my parrot/blood fish spit their gravel rocks at me to say how mad they are about me filling their gravel pits) and turning white won't be as much of a worry but it's definitely something to pay attention to

Purify the water. You have to refill fish tanks pretty often- I refill mine three times a month or when the water trickling annoys me. But! Tap water had minerals and stuff that are great for us but will MURDER your fish. Get tap water purifier.

Research your fish. Some fish don't like other members of their species and will become aggressive. Some don't like their own genders. Some fish hate everything. Don't mix your fish without knowing things common for their species. Beta fish for example hate their species but are perfectly content with most others.

Filiters and algae eaters are your friend. If your tank starts turning green, you're going to start getting fish dying left and right. Algae eaters (plekos) are awesome for this but you should have them grow up with your other fish otherwise your pleko will be eaten or the pleko will eat your fish. You can get a small pleko if your fish can't open it's mouth wide enough to hurt him. Filters must be cleaned or the thingies inside of them should be replaced at least three times a month or else they stop working.

If you let your fish lay eggs, you better know what kind of fish they are. Ciclids will terrorize all of the other fish in your tank over caring for their eggs. They will harrass and nip and attack any fish in the general area. Other fish will attempt to eat both those eggs and baby fish.

Some fish will harrass each other. Watch them carefully for a fish with a ripped fin- you'll want to put them in a different tank to recover.

Oxiding your tank (bubbles really) not only makes your fish more lively and happy, but it keeps your tabk pretty clean too.

Other people can add to this but fish are not easy pets if you're caring for them right. They're just not as noisy. Fish have personalities and don't be surprised if they seem to respond to commentary, splash at you for giving them "subpar" food or spit rocks because they're pouty.

Also, sometimes a fish will have a permanently white spot and that is a fish disease. Usually. Our fish is perfectly fine but he's constantly angry with us for the smallest things so he always looks white- know your fish .

#ankh's life tips #fish #pets #pet care #fish care #animals #domestic animals #responsibility #how to life post #how to life

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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812

Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? I'm always civil with everyone, and when I get mad at someone I make sure it’s because they really fucked up on a task, and not just because I don’t like their personality or whatever. I’ve always just felt like butting heads with someone is only going to affect my work, so I try not to clash with people. If I don’t like someone for any reason, I usually just minimize my interactions with them. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? ...Does a classmate count? I started crushing on Gab back in high school lol. Have you ever been romantically involved with a coworker? ^ Same question. Do you have any thoughts on a 14-year age-gap? Not a fan. Age gaps in general scare me away, though I think it’s because I’ve only been with someone of the same age. What is the game you're currently playing most often on your phone? Bitlife. It’s like a simpler Sims.

What is your go-to Starbucks order? MAN OH MAN does this question make me miss coffee shops. I get a grande iced caramel macchiato. I get it as is because having so many customization options just makes me overwhelmed. Do you have any friends that you're drifting apart from? I don’t think so. We all just have to be apart right now but once we can see each other again, I’m 110% sure it’ll only be like we hadn’t seen each other in a day. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? I think all my friends aren’t mentally okay to some extent. It’s pretty common in our age group. What phone do you have? iPhone 8. What is the last thing you ordered for delivery? Andrew and I had Chinese food delivered to Skywalk after a particularly brutal verbal beatdown from our thesis adviser who had told us to revise big chunks of our thesis ASAP. I was super stressed so I allowed myself to splurge on the Hong Kong noodles I really liked and I specifically asked for three fucking packets of peanut sauce to drown my noodles in lmao. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? It’s my preferred way of getting a pet. Adopt and don’t shop, plz. What's your favorite chain restaurant? YABUUUUUUUU. If I reach the point where I only had ₱400 left to my name, I’d still most likely spend it on their katsu. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? No...well, Gabie is part Turkish, so kinda? She’s still mostly Filipino though. Have you ever read any of your idol’s books/autobiographies? Out of all the people I fangirl over, only AJ has produced an autobiography and yes, I have her book. Oh I have One Direction’s first book too, but I haven’t been able to buy the next ones that came out. Do you own any succulents? Nope. Can’t take care of plants to save my life. When was the last time you climbed a tree? I’ve never done that, all the trees here have red ants. :/ If you have any pets, how would you describe their personalities? Kimi’s an absolute diva and chooses to follow, listen to, and be sweet with only me. He’ll be super nice when he’s asking for food, but will be quick to stop minding you completely once he’s gotten enough food from you. We give him a pass since he’s a senior dog now, but he’s definitely the snobby type hahaha. What is your phone's background? My home screen is of Hayley Williams; my lock screen is of Beyoncé and Jay-Z on stage. Who played at the last concert you went to? Paramore. Who is playing at the next concert you're attending? I’m really fucking hoping it’s going to be Beyoncé because she’s the only artist left I have yet to see lmao but if not, I’m most likely going to see Paramore again. What's your favorite amusement park ride? I like riding the octopus, but only the one in my high school’s fair. What's your favorite deep-fried food item? Corndogs, for sure. Why were you last pulled over? I got confused with the road rules in Alabang and ended up stopping at a red light albeit over a pedestrian lane. Stilllllll pissed about that instance to this day and I’ve never gotten over how rude the traffic enforcer was towards me. Do you have any friends that own a private lake? I don’t think so, we don’t have a lot of lakes here to begin with. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Take a shower, if I understood this question correctly. Canoeing or kayaking? I kayaked in Palawan when we were there and it was so peaceful and felt like absolute heaven. I’d relive that experience over and over again. What's your favorite lake? Like I said, we don’t really have a lot of lakes here. I don’t even know enough to pick a favorite. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? Sure, why not. Do you have a drone? I don’t. I’m not interested in having one. Do you have a smart watch? Nope. I’d love one but tbh I end up losing every watch I ever try to wear, so buying one would be pointless. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? It’s a bar rather than a restaurant, but Exile was such a fun place to be in. I still don’t understand why they had to close down so suddenly when sooooo many college kids were going there every single day. It’s since been replaced by this random shrimp restaurant, though I think that already closed too since no one ever went there because EVERYONE PREFERS EXILE. It was a very important part of my early college years and it helped me get out from my slump, so I’ll always be grateful that it was around at some point. What do you order from there? I don’t even remember anymore, it shut down two or three years ago. I’ll see if their menu is still up on Zomato... andddd it’s not. It’s like it never existed, sigh. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Cookies and cream. They jack up the prices for Ben & Jerry’s here like CRAZY so even though I’ve wanted to try so many of their flavors, I’ve never gotten to try it. I’m not paying ₱500-₱600 for ice cream. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? Yes, I have a couple of shirts from this local business called Artwork. Their employees, who are also artists, produce original designs on t-shirts, bags, pins, shoes, wallets, etc. every week so every time I visit the store, the selection is almost always completely brand new. What is your prettiest friend's first name? Gabriela, hehe. Who is your favorite comedian? Not really into comedians. I like Andy Samberg’s work, but mostly only for Brooklyn Nine-Nine. What's your favorite Netflix series? Queer Eye or Black Mirror, if we’re talking about original Netflix series. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I regularly tuned in to a morning radio program when I’d drive to school before quarantine started, but that’s it. Do you know anyone who's had their own podcast? Nope, but I have friends and acquaintances who have released other stuff, like vlogs and EPs. Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? Cavite. What are you looking forward to, today? Mom bought shawarma so I can’t wait to eat them tonight. What are you looking forward to, in the next few months? For this Covid mess to finally blow over so I can have an actual, tangible graduation and see all my friends again. Are you a dog or a cat person? Dog. Without. A. Doubt. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? Me. They never liked me no matter how nice I am with them, so I can never be around one for more than a minute. There’s only one cat that’s been nice to me – one of the cats that roam around the college, we call him Ginger – but even then, sometimes his claws can get super sharp when we play and it pierces my skin and I get scared, ahuhu. I’m sure cats are super nice and that they make for great pets, but we just can’t ever bond lol. Do you know any with Crohn's disease? No.

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dagarbagerat · 2 years

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Garbage Rat Lore Compilation - Stream 2

If you don’t care about Oli the Garbage Rat’s life story as of Stream 2, keep scrolling. Otherwise learn more below the cut. Information is vaguely ordered chronologically from when it’s mentioned in the stream. Any new information relevant to old details are appended to the end or placed nearby.

New information is written in italics. I also added new categories for health issues, parental relationships, & education.

If I choose to do it there will be a separate post for Stream 3 with all this information and new information added in a similar manner.

Next: Halloween Stream (x)

Family/Friend Deaths

His father was drinking water out of a toilet in a night club in Central Sheffield. A drunk person sat down and it all went dark, then he was flushed. Oli says if his tail was longer he could’ve pulled him out and saved him implying he was there when it happened

His mother died when he was young (long before his father died) to various unspecified rat diseases. He also has a bladder infection he got from his mom which may have been one of the diseases that killed her

His grandma died to a spider

His little brother, twitch, died in a stream

His sister was cooked alive

His grandpa fell and went splat

His grandma fell to her death. It’s unspecified if this is a separate grandma to the spider one

States he has a dead uncle

Oliver was murdered with a knife after Oli hired Martyn to kill them. Oliver is included as they were his friend during the majority of Stream 1 and Oli even told them that they could be his new family

Cats ripped some of his family to shreds, specifically he mentions his "sister twice removed" (some fleas in chat speculated this meant his sister named "twice" was "removed" from the world by cats since sisters by definition can't be twice offset a generation)

His aunt twice removed lived in a paint can, but the fumes got to them and drove them crazy before they eventually perished from the fumes. Note: this aunt was only referred to with they/them pronouns. Also, "aunt twice removed" would typically be called a "great-grand aunt"

A whole "flock" of his cousins were in a pizza box together when a human found them and threw them all into a composter where they died

His friend Remi, from Paris, was found dead after bleeding out on a carpet

Had a step father who died as well. Causes unspecified and it's unclear which of his parents his step father was married to

His wife died

His uncle fell out a window and went splat, he doesn't know for certain if his uncle was pushed. He was there and saw it happen with his own eyes. Unclear if this is the same uncle mentioned in stream 1 with no specified death

Locations in his Life

Lived and grew up in Sheffield

Lived for a while in a chalet in Paris. Had a good friend named Remi while living there. One of the last meals Remi made for him was shrimp. Also, Remi is El's great uncle

Also in Paris, he spent time living on the streets. Here, he knew street cats that were just like the street rats

Implied that he’s visited London as he “knows the type” of rat that never left London. It’s possible he’s stereotyping without ever having been there himself but he’s been to stranger places so it’s not a stretch for him to have visited

Spent some time in the trash of New York. Witnessed a lot of crime there

Has been to New Orleans and saw Hamilton there

Health Issues

He is 80% alcohol & 20% garbage

Has a bladder infection

He is pretty sure his body literally cannot handle normal food

His tail has been gnawed short by gnats

He is balding from lack of nutrients (not really visible on the skin so either he means his hair is thinning or there are missing patches of fur under his clothes)

Had lice as a child

He's pretty sure his brain cells are rotting

Has a weak heart which he thinks is due to a lack of potassium

Parental Relationships

His father was the last person to love him, his mother loved him too but she died first

One of his parents is in heaven and the other is in hell, did not specify which is where

His mom didn't love him anymore when she was dying

He says a cat (Oreo) was acting "just like his mother" when the cat attacked him soon after they shared a sweet moment together

His mom is the only person who ever gave him gifts, his father was always too busy

Education

Knows how to read the numbers "5" and "0"

Has stated he has gone to both rat school and rat college (could be the same place). However, he was kicked out of school when he ran out of money. He had a friend named Joe in rat college. He also seems to have cut class fairly often to look for garbage

Is seen reading and writing, and has told some rats he learned how to do this in rat school. He has also told other rats he can't read or write as he's just a dumb garbage rat

He’s read the book “Of Rats and Men” and considers it a classic all rats should know

Says he learned how to read from the papers and food wrappers in the garbage

His sister also went to rat school and they both learned cursive there

Says his writing is practically his own language

Did not learn how to tell time in rat school because he was too busy looking for garbage

Other Lore Bits

He is in his “mid 50s” in rat years. However he got this number from reading a 5 and a 0 on a coin

The movie “Flushed Away” is based on his dad’s story and he hasn’t received any royalties. This is why he lives in & eats garbage

Doesn’t bathe as it reminds him of how his father drowned.

His dad drank every night

His last name is “Orionsound” but he considers his full name to be “Oli the Garbage Rat”

Pronouns are he/rat/garbage and more

Has referred to Shubble as his sister, but said out of canon that he isn't sure if the two of them have decided if they're siblings or just old friends. UPDATE: In Shubble's stream the two confirm that they are in fact siblings, but he thought she drowned and her body was washed downstream as he called out for her shouting "noooo". She says she just went missing for a bit and was a little surprised to learn both their parents are dead but quick to agree that they are each other's last family members.

Oli (the streamer) has stated that he is "literally the smallest size [of rat]"

Likes Papa Caspacito in a non-platonic way

His sister loved learning cursive when she went to rat school

Has done shrooms in "the big city". It is unclear which big city this was as he's been to several

He nibbles on tide pods at night

He is aware of China and how far away it is

He knows a lot about training/befriending cats (specifically strays), as if he's done it before (likely the Parisian street cats he knew)

His wife used to nibble on his tail in a sexy way (tail was already short due to gnats gnawing it down), but she died and it's only been nibbled on in an unsexy way since then

Was on the streets for 20-30 years, he isn't quite sure how long

Refuses to be used as a test subject

#rats smp #oli the garbage rat #theorionsound #text

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hitchell-mope · 6 years

Text

Ben: what opinion would you like first?

Uma: surprise me

Ben: Harry’s terrifying. And he kinda reminds me of a root vegetable.

Vision!mal: potato. Possibly

Ben: potato! That’s the one. Sorrythatwasuncalledfor

Vision!gil: HAHAHA. WHEW. Man that’s funny. And a exceptionally accurate description.

Uma (trying and failing to fight off a smile): that. That’s neither here nor there. You’re being honest yes? Cause I hate being lied too.

Ben: I don’t lie when my life depends on it.

Uma: good. Now. Any other opinions?

Ben: gils a really sweet boy. And I think he’d thrive in auradon. All he needs is positive reinforcement. Actually that’s what all of you need.

Uma: and me? Be brutal.

Ben: you. Seem to be a good leader. But you need to let things go. I’m doing my damnedest to get more children away from the isle like I told you. And I get it. You’re angry. But this plan to hold me ransom won’t work. I know Mal. You do too. And I wish she would’ve told me she was struggling but I understand why she didn’t. But she’ll come and get me. I know she will.

Uma: she’ll turn on you just like that. Just as she did to me.

Ben: and? Yeah she dumped a bucket of shrimp on you but didn’t you push her in the water first.

Uma: what I did was a prank. What she did was cruel.

Ben: she couldn’t swim. You know that right? I’m guessing you did. So you dunked your supposed friend in the drink and got mad when she retaliated? That’s fair(!)

Uma: uuuuuuh

Gil: hahahaha!!!! I LOVE THIS GUY

Mal: shhhhh. Let them finish

Gil: he can’t hear me she can’t hear you. I think we’re safe

Uma: whatever I don’t care.

Ben: would you like me to say anything else?

Uma: no but you’ll listen. She doesn’t care about the kids here

Gil: you don’t either

Uma (ignoring gil): in six months has she ever told you what it’s like here on the isle. The lack of food. The disease. The knowledge that someone you know might disappear and never be seen again? The thieves murderers and criminals that lay in wait for the ones that don’t pay attention?

Ben: to be honest. No. She hasn’t. None of them have. And frankly. I don’t blame them. Can I ask you something now?

Uma (gritting her teeth): go on...

Ben: are you honestly able to tell me that if you and your crew came to auradon first you would tell me about the children that haven’t been invited yet. That you wouldn’t get caught up in having proper beds and food. Finally being safe. That you wouldn’t forget about who and what you left behind... Can you honestly tell me that?

Uma looks like she’s been punched in the face

Gil: by the way. Your answers no in case you’re wandering. Oh and if you’ll allow me.

He jumps on the desk and starts doing the “I told you so” routine from scrubs

Ben: They didn’t tell me because they probably don’t like to think about it. And I didn’t ask because I know it’s an uncomfortable subject for them (Sees Uma and vision Mal staring at the desk) and what’s happening now?

Mal: her ones doing the “I told you so” dance he’s actually rather good at it. But he scares me so...

Gil: 🎶I told you so I told you so I I I told you so I to...🎶

A horribly loud scream can be heard in the distance

Ben: what...was...that

Uma: I have no idea.

Gil (chuckling deviously): 🎶ohhhh but I do🎶 (to Mal)come along dear. Our “leader” needs our help.

Vision!gil and vision!mal leave

Ben: she’s gone.

Uma: so is he. (Realises she’s still holding bens aorta) here you go.

She throws it to him. He catches

Ben: soooo I... just put it back where it was.

Uma: basically yeah

Somewhere else

Mal: ok I’ll bite. What’s happening

Gil: Lonnie

Mal: care to elaborate?

Gil: she’s fading because her one has rejected her magic.

Mal: I know that.

Gil: well. Little miss Carrie White has also rejected her magic. Right this second actually.

Mal: (shock dawning on her face) Mal...

Gil: uh yep.

Mal: oh no ben!

Gil: cool your jets. He’s there. Oh benny boy!

Vision!ben (looking rather pale): what!

Gil: I believe it’s my turn to lead this little group.

Ben: so what. Yah gonna kill me or.

Gil: why the hell would I do that. Her rejection will do that for me. I just wanna humiliate you. Listen up guys

(Big bad cat starts up)

#disney descendants #ben florian #mal bertha #bal #uma daughter of ursula #gil legume #giluma #zendaya!mal

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addictionstories · 2 years

Text

Naomi would vanish and be out of communication for two or three days at a time, which would terrify me. She hadn’t called or responded to any of my texts all weekend. I was convinced something terrible had happened. Her mom called me, asking me if I had heard anything. “Nothing” I told her.

“She has ID with her, right?” her mom asked.

“Yes.”

“Hopefully we’ll hear something soon.”

Naomi resurfaced and called me the next day, which was a relief. But living in a constant state of anxiety had become grueling for me. And it was affecting my work. Regardless of what I was doing, a portion of my mind was always in a wild, excited state, worrying about her, imagining catastrophic scenarios. This was the norm now; my default setting.

A few days later, I played an afternoon jazz concert at Binghamton University. In the morning before I left, I checked in with Naomi. She was okay. Bur during the rehearsal, I had my phone on the bottom end of the piano keys, watching for texts, worried.

The following Sunday, I worked a brunch at a new casino off the Thruway, west of Syracuse. We played in the main restaurant, an upscale steakhouse, marble floors, high ceilings, with a buffet that seemed a half mile long. After, we ate shrimp and lobster and bread sticks. My thoughts immediately turned to Naomi and how I wanted to take her here. Then reality came crashing in. What was the likelihood of us coming out here? She’d have to have the right combination of drugs at the exactly right time, or it would never work. We were always at the mercy of bizarre circumstances and the whims of drug dealers. We could never plan or do anything until she got sober.

At this point Naomi was bouncing around between hobo (trap) houses on Syracuse’s northside. Addiction is a progressive disease and I could see her sliding further down the rabbit hole. She and Alex were back at Dom’s place on the northside, a squalid hovel. A river or trash and bottles flowed out the door onto the dilapidated porch, spilling onto the lawn. Inside, the smell of mold and cat urine attacked your nostrils. I’d stop over, park in front and drop off fresh needles. But how long could this go on? She’d be starting probation soon.

I’d been filling in for a piano player from Utica, teaching lessons at Colgate University and was scheduled to play a concert with the school’s jazz band. I arrived at the theater in downtown Hamilton, parked in front with my hazard lights on, and hurried in to unload my equipment. When I came out a burly cop was eyeing my car, about to write a ticket. When I explained the situation he let me off with a warning. I parked in a space across the street and went back inside to set up my keyboard. A few moments later, the cop walked through the theater, up to the stage and motioned to me to come down. Did he see something in the car, a needle, a spoon? I thought. God, this could be bad. The guitar player, Joe, and some of the other musicians looked over at me, curious, concerned.

I followed the cop outside.

“We’ve got a problem with your car,” he said.

His words seemed to knock the wind out of me. Thoughts or being arrested flooded my mind. For a moment I couldn’t breathe.

“I can see that this inspection sticker has removed from your vehicle and put back on.”

I paused for a second. “Yes, I had the windshield replaced recently,” I explained, my voice tremulous and small.

He smiled. “Okay, Okay, that’s the right answer. I just wanted to make sure,” the cop said as he started walking back toward his cruiser.

My whole body sagged in relief. Okay, that’s it. That’s all it was, I thought.

The theater manager had come out and was standing on the sidewalk. He’d watched the exchange between the cop and me. We walked back in as I explained what happened.

Over the next several days, Naomi’s situation continued to deteriorate. She moved into a bed-bud infested drug house on Ash Street, on the ragged-edge of Syracuse’s northside. All the joy and emotion had been sucked out of her. She was lifeless, forlorn, a ghost woman. Her mother was aware of what was going on. Naomi had another arrest warrant in Central Square. A village cop had come to her parent’s house twice, looking for her.

“Look, you’re the only person who can help her, “ her mom explained. “You know where she is. Call the cops and tell them people in the house are using drugs. You’d be saving her life.”

This put me in a incredibly difficult position. Even though I basically agreed with her mom, I looked at calling the cops as a betrayal of Naomi’s trust. And what if if didn’t work. Naomi would never confide in me again. I’d be locked out. She wouldn’t tell me her whereabouts, and I wouldn’t be able to help her at all.

This was exceedingly complicated. Her mom gave me the number of the cop who’d been looking for her. He and Naomi had gone to high school together.

I agreed to call and talk to him, but I knew in my heart that I could never follow through with this plan. I left the officer a message, but never heard back, which was a tremendous relief.

At this point, after hanging with Naomi for a year, seeing her use drugs, meeting her friends, other drug users, I was beginning the understand the futility of thinking you can force someone to quit, by imposing consequences, legal or otherwise. I’d wished that worked. But my experience told me that it did not. It was an agonizing thing to realize you’re powerless to help someone you love. But unfortunately, it was reality, as much as I hated to admit it.

It was madness for the next two weeks, as I brought Naomi needles and ferried her on drug missions. I stayed laser-focused on the end of the month, when Naomi met with her probation officer. That would end the madness, I was convinced.

At this point Naomi was barely going out. I remember pulling up to the northside house on a sunny afternoon, waiting for her, as I looked down to Lodi Street - watching kids riding bikes, people going in and out of the corner bakery. Naomi had become completely shackled by her addiction. She was a prisoner now more than she ever was in jail.

She was meeting with her probation officer on May 31st. We scrambled to get things done the week before. She had several bags of clothes and some possessions at the Ash Street house, which had to be moved out. Then she planned to go to Taxi Man’s apartment to detox. Then back to her mom’s, where she planned to stay.

When I picked her up on the northside, I waited in the car for over an hour, as I got sporadic texts from her, telling me she needed more time, that she was working to get things together. After a while I drove to the all night cigar/news shop, a few blocks away to smoke and kill some time, as I waited for her to text me. But two more hours went by, with nothing.

By this time it was going on four AM. I finally went home and went to bed, thinking we could try again tomorrow.

I went back the next evening, but it was the same situation, waiting in the car, her texting, telling me she was getting ready. After a few hours, I left. This was getting ridiculous. She texted me early the next morning -- around 7 - saying she was ready to be picked up. I grabbed a coffee and headed back over.

When I pulled up there were two hobo-esque people standing alongside the house, in the driveway, looking disheveled, out of it. Naomi came out a few moments later. I got out of the car and walked up to the porch. She handed me her backpack. “I’ve got a bunch more stuff to bring down.” she said, as she went back inside and up the stairs.

I put the backpack in the backseat, on top my my keyboard case. A moment later, I put another bag in the car and noticed a tiny brown bug on top of the case.

When I lifted the backpack I saw a handful of the little buggers. “Fuck me,” I thought. God dammit.

“There are bed bugs on your fucking bags,” I yelled at Naomi, when she came down. “Jesus Christ.”

“Look, I’ve had a terrible night. I am going to wash all this stuff when we get to Taxi Man’s place.

I took all the bags out of the car and put them on the sidewalk, checking for the critters. The ones on the keyboard case I scooped up with a napkin. I’d never seen bed bugs before. They were logy little bastards. For years I’d heard horror stories about them and was terrified to get back in the car, but managed somehow.

After I dropped her off I wasn’t sure what to do as I thought the car might be contaminated. I checked my body carefully when I got home but didn’t bring my keyboard into the house, keeping it in the trunk of the car for several months. I took off all my clothes and washed them.

Over the next few days, as Naomi detoxed, I brought her food, fast food burgers and some of her favorite candy. I’d park in the lot behind Taxi Man’s apartment and wait for her to come out. She looked rough - wearing sweat pants, her hair greasy and matted. Detoxing or dope sickness, felt like you had the flu, she explained to me - body aches, chills, sudden temperature changes, sweating one moment, shivering the next.

I was encouraged that she had the discipline to do this on her own, and took that as a sign that she was ready to put drugs behind her. I was looking forward to probation. She’d get her life back, and she wouldn’t be able to use drugs without getting caught. It was a win win. There was so much we’d be able to do now - going out to dinner, planning trips. We’d be able to got to Old Forge in the fall to see the changing leaves.

The day before probation, I messaged Naomi, about when she wanted me to pick her up. The plan was to run a few errands, then go out to eat, then I’d drop her off at her mom’s. She texted back about a change of plans. Now her father wanted to take her home. We could hang out after at her mom’s, she explained. Dinner might still be doable, depending on when they got back, she said. When I checked in with her later that evening, she was having dinner with her father. They’d stopped at a restaurant, at the “last minute.”

I was disappointed. This was supposed to be our night. I’d been looking forward to it all week.

Naomi texted at 9:30 when she got back home. She invited me over and had a “gift” for me, she said. She still had bags of clothes in my car that she needed to get. When I got to her mom’s house, I pulled into the driveway and texted her. The outside lights were off. It was dark, no moonlight. Naomi came out and handed me a cream soda. “So that’s my gift? How sweet,” I said. I smiled, thanked her and gave her a hug. As she started taking the bags out of the backseat I noticed a shadowy figure on the house steps. When I looked closer I saw that it was Alex. She walked over and started handing him the bags.

Alex! Really? I thought.

He walked over and put his hand out. I shook it and said hello, then walked back to the car with Naomi.

“You guys went out to dinner,” I asked her, speaking quietly, so he wouldn’t hear me.

“My father took us out. He was with his new girlfriend. It wasn’t planned or anything.”

I couldn’t believe it. I’d busted my butt helping her all week, staying up all night waiting for her, giving her rides, and she blew off our dinner and went with Alex? Why didn’t she ask me to join her father and her?

“Come in, we can hangout,” she said.

“I don’t know. I think I should get home.”

“Just come inside.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just tired and I want to get home.”

I hugged her, got back in the car and drove off, feeling hurt, sad, like my guts had been trampled.

0 notes

mariaiscrafting · 2 years

Text

I posted 14,474 times in 2021

2939 posts created (20%)

11535 posts reblogged (80%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.9 posts.

I added 12,658 tags in 2021

#mcyt - 2615 posts

#dream smp - 2054 posts

#.txt - 1765 posts

#fanart - 1510 posts

#ranboo - 1347 posts

#tubbo - 877 posts

#asks - 848 posts

#tommy - 652 posts

#fav - 497 posts

#discourse - 493 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but i didnt want to attack the op of that post directly? and besides this is more of a broad criticism of stuff ive seen on tumblr & twitter

My Top Posts in 2021

Wake up babe, the long-awaited Ranboo iceberg has finally dropped

corrections because apparently I can’t fucking spell:

1. fridge should be fringe

2. want to should be wanted to

2221 notes • Posted 2021-02-27 19:50:36 GMT

2747 notes • Posted 2021-01-29 18:22:52 GMT