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thewritingstar · 4 years

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The talk (Butch gets the “if you break my daughters heart you’re dead” talk from the professor) greens

This was fun to think about so I hope you enjoy. I really think the professor take to the boys once they show that they can be civil and slightly nice.

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Five minutes of pure silence had passed and the professor still was writing on his chalkboard. He was engrossed in the formula is was creating as if there wasn’t a sweaty seventeen year old boy behind him on the brink of breaking down.

Butch had stolen, thrashed and ruined cities. He was feared in most cities and if he walked down the street, people would part like the red sea. He was a force to be reckoned with and yet he felt small and meek.

His hands shook slightly at his side and he was certain there was a bead of sweat on his brow. Most of his friends would say that he was being a pussy or weak but the man in front of him determined his future right now and for the first time, he didn’t want to fuck this up, he couldn’t.

“You know Butch.” The professor finally spoke and he stood up straighter. “I’ve talked to many boys before.” He laughed. “So many boys come knocking on the door hoping they can be so lucky to be with my daughters.”

Butch looked at his feet. “I can imagine sir.” So sweaty.

“Every single one of them says with confidence that they won’t break their hearts and yet time after time, the tears will come and sometimes I feel like I made a mistake letting that happen.”

Butch furrowed his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t blame you for the actions of those ass-boys. I don’t think the girls would either.”

The professor nodded and leaned against his desk. “Exactly what Blossom said. I am a little surprised to see you here though. Brick and Boomer had seen me months ago, together in fact and yet I didn’t think I would have to worry about you.”

Butch said nothing to this because he was right. He never thought he would ever see Buttercup in a romantic way but yet here he was, asking her father for permission and not to kill him on the spot.

“So.” The Professor narrowed his eyes and made a hand gesture. “Make your plead.”

His eyes widened slightly. Fuck, he was prepared and Buttercup even told him what to say and yet it flew out of his mind in the moment. He gulped and the Professor could see the tension as he stood even taller.

“To be honest sir, I can’t promise that I won’t break her heart.”

“Not a great start.”

Shit.

Butch shifted on his feet and wiped the sweat of his palms on his jeans. “But if I ever did, it would never be on purpose. I never thought I would ever have to ask a father for permission because I never thought I would get a chance. I just-sorry, I swear I had a plan but this is just so stressful because I don’t want to lose her sir. I can’t lose the only person who makes me feel like I’m doing something right.”

He met his eyes and the same look was still there. “Unlike her, I was born for the intention to kill and destroy. I never knew what love or affection was until i met her. I know Brick is good with words and Boomer is the boy next door type but I’m not like that. I’m gross and weird and for some reason really enjoy making her laugh.” he huffed. “Your daughter makes me want to be a better person and I’m not sure what I add to her, if anything.” He looked at the ground.

It was a thought that ran through his mind constantly. He had seen the other guys at school. Some of them are more charming and sweet. Even other dudes on the various sport teams would probably be more of BC’s type and yet here he was.

“You make her smile.” The phase brought him out of his thoughts.

Butch’s head shot up. The professor smiled for the first time. “I had never seen that glow or expression on her face when she came home from your first date, yes i know about that. I thought who could have made the toughest girl in the world feel that way. I know she has a hard time expressing her feelings, and maybe that’s my fault for making her feel like she wasn’t as special even though she is.” There was a small frown on his face.

“But when she told me it was you, I was taken back. Parents always wonder who their children will end up with if they choose to. I always wondered about Buttercup because she never seemed interested or perhaps she was too shy about all that stuff. All I knew was that they had to be able to keep up with her. They had to give her something that she didn’t have.”

“I don’t follow.” Butch said honestly.

The professor smiled. “For Blossom, she needs someone to challenge her. Make her think deeper and more elaborate, someone who can prove they are at her level and I think Brick does a mighty fine job at that.”

“They are a good pair.” Butch shrugged.

“As for Bubbles, she is able to adapt with anyone but there's a sense of reliability that she craves. She can get overwhelmed with saving the day and just wants someone to be there no matter what happens. Of course having a partner that has super powers is quite reliable.”

“Boomer does really care about her, but Buttercup doesn’t need anything. She has it all.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see the professor giving him a soft expression. “Quite the contrary really. Of course my daughters don’t need anyone. They will never need another man or woman to complete them. That’s not how love works. My girls could easily live their lives without someone by their side but they choose not too. As for Buttercup, she unfortunately wasn’t given an extra power, which I’m not sure why. Perhaps her ability to withstand greater forces and punch harder than her sisters is something but at the same time, not so much.”

“You see Butch, Buttercup needs someone to make her see that she is indeed special.”

Butch’s lips turned down. “Oh I see.”

“And that person is you.”

“What?”

“Don’t act so surprised kid. Every since you two had become extremely close friends, I had a feeling that something would develop naturally.” He winked. “You can keep up with her and you aren’t intimidated by her, which says a lot. You are on her level that makes her feel good knowing that if she flys off, you’re right there with her. And you make her feel like she’s the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“I-I do?” He felt the blush flush his face and neck.

The professor let out a chuckle. “Don’t tell her I said that. But in all honesty, I am really glad that you are the boy to be here. I’m sure they could all find other partners and yet, I feel relieved knowing that she chose you.”

Butch gave him a small smile. “Thank you sir. To be honest I really thought you were gonna kick me out.” he scratched the back of his head.

“If Buttercup didn’t then I see no reason why I should.” “The girls can protect themselves but as their father I try to do as much as I can to protect them.”

“I understand and I know that even with super powers, the girls will always need their dad.” His heart stung a little knowing that he didn’t have that type of figure in his life. “I am really grateful sir, I bet my brother's talk was just as good.” he smiled.

“Oh no, Boomer almost cried and Brick was on his knees begging.”

Butch’s eyes widened and he realized that he wasn’t joking. “Oh.”

The professor patted his back and led him to the door. “It was nice talking with you Butch, hope we can do it again soon.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Have fun on your date.”

“T-thank you sir.”

“But don’t forget that just because I don’t powers, I can’t do anything. Alright then bye!”

The door to the lab closed behind him and the fear of the last statement hit hi hard. He found his way to the living room where Buttercup, Blossom and Bubbles were sitting, the tv playing in the background acting like they weren’t using their super-hearing.

“So?” Blossom broke the silence.

“You heard.” Butch smirked.

“Nope.” Bubbles frowned. “The professor created a force field that blocks out our hearing, guess he activated it.”

“So if you screamed, we would never know.” Buttercup said. “So whats the verdict?”

Butch shrugged and placed his hands in his pocket. “He just said that hes happy I was the one.”

Blossom and Bubbles stared at him while Buttercup held a smug smile. She jumped up and threw on her coat before taking his hand.

“He made boomie cry.” Bubbles whispered.

“Brick said hes terrified of him.” Blossom added.

Buttercup only let out a laugh. “Look at that. Butch is the favorite so tell your boy toys they can suck it.” Butch laughed at that and headed out the door silencing the protests of her sisters.

“So he really likes you then?” BC asked as she finished off her soda.

“Guess so. Told me that I make you feel pretty.” He winked and kissed her cheek making her face turned the shade of Blossoms bow.

She bit her lips and glared at him. “S-shut up.”

---

I hope this was good enough. lol.

#ppg #butch rrb #greens #butch ppg #the talk #thewritingstar

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theda-rison · 4 years

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Thursday Night Link Roundup - September 5th

So I was making scrambled eggs yesterday morning and I crack an egg and put it in the bowl and put the shell in the compost container and then I crack and egg and put it in the bowl and put the shell in the compost container and then I crack and egg and put it in the bowl and put the shell in the compost container…

AND THEN I PUT THE LID FROM THE COMPOST CONTAINER IN THE EGGS AND I'M LIKE "wut" AMD THEN I REALIZE WHAT I'VE DONE AND NOW I HAVE TO THROW OUT THE EGGS AND I'VE WASTED THREE EGGS AND SOY SAUCE BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN WASH EITHER AND I'M INTERNALLY YELLING AT MYSELF BECAUSE WHY CAN'T MY BRAIN JUST FUNCTION CORRECTLY SO I DON'T WASTE EGGS??*

*(among other things, like accidentally throwing out metal forks.)

So the moral of the story is: get a new brain. And you can't wash eggs.

Also, wow, this is later than I intended it to be even after I didn’t intend it to be late. I ended up using a korean virtual keyboard and google translate to read a manhwa until late.

…I have no excuse or reasoning behind that. I love it and I want to read it. It was sort of funny how some sentences translate really well and some just don’t, lol.

ANYWAY,

I think I’ve known about Ben Shapiro since he was first dubbed “the cool kids philosopher,” but I wasn’t really paying attention to him because - as a certified Cool Kid™ - I always thought he was a little dweeb. Conservatism isn’t cool, kiddos.

Idk why this video came up in my feed again since I already watched it once when it first came out, but whatever. It’s funny, you should watch it. It’s Cody’s Showy, Some More News, with “How Ben Shapiro Pretends Nothing Can Be Done About Systemic Racism.” Wow, what a title.

youtube

You know that right-wing personalities are all grifters because they default to the dictionary for complicated, huge problems and act like that’s somehow them being a fucking intelligent person who knows how to do research and formulate an argument. That’s basically Ben’s whole shtick.

Also, apparently, telling on himself that he can’t make his wife wet.

(Which, I mean like, you can do that to yourself , but you can also not do that.)

What can I say, but: “YIKES.”

He’s also a big, dumb, racist.

Speaking of Conservatives, why are they the way they are? If only someone could tell me about a study that tries to figure why they are they way they are-- wait a second!

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Rebecca Watson, Study: Conservatives are Terrified (and That's Why They're Conservative). And you know what? After watching this, a lot of things about little Benny Boy up there are starting to make sense.

Also I was captivated by that little computer in the background (it’s actually a speaker) the whole time and I bought one because I have absolutely no impulse control.

This is a new channel that I actually found through Instagram, of all places. The channel is Leaflets, and the IG is _leaflets_. Teaser: How Capitalism Decays into Fascism | Leaflets Podcast.

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It’s a short video (and I still need to watch the whole podcast), but I liked the part they cut. One could argue that parts of American culture (the forever wars) have been facist since about the 40s. It’s ridiculous.

I love Beau of the Fifth Column. He has a lot of really good videos, many having to do with masculinity like this one (Let's talk about the American man and the toughest guy at the table....) about how basically being a big bully isn’t being a man.

youtube

He’s the kind of guy who reminds me a lot of my dad. As someone who’s writing a werewolf book and wants to deconstruct masculinity using the main character, his videos about masculinity are very interesting to me. He seems like a cool dude.

Woo! The king returns! Daniel Thrasher’s When you meet a jazz demon in medieval times!

youtube

I just hope he does a whole series with these characters. I also want to know: does he have to remake the squire’s balloon… hat(?) every time he makes a video?

Songs of the Week:

Beethoven - The Fall-Symphony no.7 movement 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo3k2N3A1IQ

I don’t know what it is about this song, but I wish it was longer (and also, consistently loud? I hate that I have to turns some parts up and then other parts wayyyy down. I thought Beethoven was deaf, why isn’t the entire thing loud? I have hearing loss and I can’t fucking hear half of it). It’s a nice song and I love the movie it was used in; the one that the poster used the soundtrack cover for the background.

Acrylo - Earth, Wii & Fire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG8vtggc1Ok

I really love this, and I am not even totally sure why? It’s just fun.

SethEverman - when you're a romantic pianist but also a gamer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOnp5LI2b0c

I love and hate Seth Everman in equal measure. How dare you make me hear this with my own ears? Iloveit.

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awfully-sadistic · 5 years

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{{ Book Talk: Knight

It’s been a long time since I put anything up here. In the time I haven’t been writing, I’ve read at least... one book on my own. I’m not counting the stories I’m currently reading with Dot (WHICH IS STELLAR BY THE WAY, what I look forward to). I’ve read one book and It was Kay Hooper’s Hold Back the Dark and I do like them, the Bishop series. But we’re not talking about her books today.

Nope. I’m here to talk about one I randomly picked up because, why... I don’t recall how I got on this author’s page. Kristen Ashley. I think I was looking through the romance genre on the novel site I use and one of her books was called Mystery Man (Dream Man #1). To me, that sounds cliche and all that other stuff. I just wanted to know how many of these Dream Man books there were and then I ran into this.

Lol, why does she not have covers for these books. As you can see, I wasn’t given much. I just clicked on the first book to see if there was a synopsis on what this chick was about. Opening it got me nothing either. There wasn’t even a summary.

So, I started to read a little of it. And, I have no idea. I can’t explain why I couldn’t put it down. I just had to keep reading it. I didn’t even like it. The premise was the average, poor girl gets her Sugar Daddy but he’s mysterious and cool and dangerous and owns a club and she has her girls and... blah, blah, blah. I didn’t like it, the aspects of BDSM seemed forced despite Knight (yeah, that’s this guy’s name. His mom named him Knight because she needed one. That’s what he told Anya, the main chick) being a Dominant. A Daddy Dominant but NOT a Daddy Dominant in the DD/lg sense. He just LIKES being called Daddy. He just likes control. Cue, normal control issues and shit, tragic background, blah blah blah.

Not saying he’s abusing or anything. He takes care of Anya, buys her the world, actually takes care of her friends, demands that she stop wearing her cheap shit, buys her a car, takes care of her building when she didn’t have locks on her door, bought her a new phone that cost a grand. But there’s... just something that I can’t... put my finger on that he’s not attractive.

I think it’s the way he speaks. I don’t mind people cussing at all, whatsoever. It has never really pulled me out of books or even in conversations, except when people do it in weird ways. Try hard or “tough” ways. But the way Knight curses, for how fine he liked to dress himself or present himself and so forth, he seemed like he would have been better speaking refined. Not throwing in a “fucking” EVERY. OTHER. FUCKING. WORD.

It made the dialogue clumsy. Like, you’re trying to be bad, you curse. Knight generously sprinkled his goddamn sentences with swear words like this fucker needed to dump a shitload of salt on it. It wasn’t even flavorful text. It was just... cringy. I cringed every time Knight spoke and that wasn’t due to secondhand embarrassment. Like, I hated to hear him speak in his dialogue. It sounded so try-hard. So immature.

Not from someone who was trying to be a Dominant specializing in control. Simply, control. Let me see... that, I can understand. There were some things I didn’t like but that was my specific flavor. I don’t like STRICTLY controlling Dominants. I hate being told what to do. I can understand some of the shit he was controlling, that it fits in with some parts of the Lifestyle. Some submissives like that and prefer to hand their life over; reminds me of what Dot says. I don’t think I had a problem with him (or rather the author) acting out the BDSM acts or scenes. I thought, for as far as it goes in literature, it... was normal. I mean, what was expected.

But they never really specified whether Anya was a submissive or a little or a sugar baby. It’s not important but why put the emphasis on this kind of relationship but not be clear about what it was? Was the reader supposed to guess that? I don’t even know what type of Dominant Knight was supposed to be; I mean, there doesn’t need to be a type but again, why put the emphasis on Vivica (one of Anya’s girls) making a big reveal that she was a submissive. Though, that was pretty cute. I like the scenes with Vivica. She had everything in control in her life, was fiercely independent, but she wanted to hand the reigns over at the end of the day and be taken care of. Again, I understand that because it reminds me of Dot. It was actually nice that Knight set her up with one of his Dominant employees (Rasheen or Rashaan or something like that) and it was exactly what Vivica needed; I got more entertainment hearing about Vivica’s bits than Knight and Anya.

Hmm. I think other than the simpleness of this entire plot, taking out the elements of BDSM... it’s... just boring. Knight was kind of hard to follow because I couldn’t take him serious cursing all the time and Anya was... simply Anya. I mean, for a heroine, she was... just a normal young woman trying to get by in life. Poor upbringing, shitty relative who took care of her and she moved out on her own as soon as she was able. She put herself through school and even had a dream of owning her own salon (which Knight eventually gave her) And for a split second, I vaguely remember something else bothering me about their relationship.

Ah yeah, Knight has a temper. I mean, I get tempers. But not when they’re done in the way that Knight has control issues. I think there were a couple of times in the book where he and Anya should have spoken things through instead of the author trying to force more BDSM elements into the scene in order to have steamy sex parts.

...And if I can read through them, they’re not steamy.

I hated that aspect; there should be more talking in the Lifestyle, in relationships, period, but Knight was so adamant on things being done his way even when Anya seemed to have the right idea to be angry; he’d get angry at her for being angry. See, that’s ridiculous. Especially considering the parts where he told her that he would only tell her what was necessary considering his business life. AND WILL ONLY TELL HER THINGS WHEN 1) IT CAME UP WHEN HE WANTED IT TO or 2) WHEN THINGS WERE THROWN IN ANYA’S LAP AND HE HAD NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO COME CLEAN.

Uh, no.

Be honest about everything. Even that dirty little business you have on the side so it doesn’t come back and bite you in the ass and potentially ruin the relationship because you’re hiding shit and you should have been honest in the first place.

All because, he said, he didn’t want to spoil her innocence. Miss me with that shit. Fucking completely. I hated his reasoning for keeping Anya out of the loop and she was stupid as fuck for going along with it.

I get you have someone that takes care of everything with you and about you but what would have happened if Anya couldn’t have taken what Knight did on the side (basically, he handled high end escorts, giving them a place of safety when they worked. I didn’t care he did that shit but wouldn’t it have been easier to fucking come clean with it instead of your rival and ex-partner revealing it to Anya and then her having to come ask you?) It wasn’t just the subject of the secrets he was keeping but that he felt he didn’t have to tell her shit unless he wanted to. That bugs me. But then again, I expect transparency from my partner and not having him tell me about shit when I fucking ask because I FOUND OUT. Why the fuck put someone in that position. If it was a stranger, I don’t think it would be a problem to confront someone. But with my partner? If it was Jeff or even Dot, I had to confront? That shit is hard.

Like, two days later, Knight is coming up to you saying, “If the cops come here, you don’t know anything” and damn straight, I don’t know anything but also why THE FUCK ARE THE COPS KNOCKING ON OUR DOOR. It’s not just Knight’s life anymore since he pulled Anya into this shit. A relationship is not just about you anymore. It’s about two people and you shouldn’t be keeping things from each other. Even if they have nothing to do with your job; if it’s going to leak into your personal life, why the fuck would you hide it? And you can’t say it doesn’t--IT HAS. I READ THE BOOK. THE SHIT YOU DO, KNIGHT, THE STUFF YOU DON’T WANT TO TELL HER ABOUT, YOU TOLD HER ABOUT ANYWAY BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE WERE TELLING HER. SHE FOUND OUT FROM SOMEONE ELSE, WHY WASN’T IT YOU?

That is what’s stupid. That’s so stupid.

Oh man. Anyway, like I do with all the other books I finish reading, I went to Goodreads to see what others were saying. For the most part, I guess this chick has some sort of following. Never heard of her before. I haven’t read a lot of reviews but I’m on this one currently:

“From the blurb and the build-up to this book, I thought I was going to get the baddest, hottest, toughest, giving-the-middle-finger-to-society naughty boy EVER. Perhaps a Tate or Ty on steroids. Instead I got a bloke who biggest claim to badass-ness was his dominance in the bedroom and his control outside of it. Yet if it was only this I had to complain about, and the rest of the story shone, I'd still be a happy little reader. But there was so much here that disappointed me.”

1) The hero smokes!! What is this, the 60s, the 70s?? A habit like that is about as attractive as a nose-picking. Except the nose-picking is healthier.

I don’t care that he smoked; I know some people in our Family do, too. I honestly didn’t think it was too prevalent since Knight smoked in ways that was supposed to make him seem attractive, so basically, it was harmless. He was usually found on his balcony, smoking. *Shrug* Not a big deal, but I guess this chick thought it was. Some other minor things. The hero is a slut. No, truly a real, live slut. And he wears a black turtleneck, which I guess makes sense as it suits the 70s-era cigarette smoking. Also, he should take lessons from Ty and not talk so much during sex.

I have no idea what she means by slut. Knight, I guess, wasn’t a slut. Anya wasn’t one, either. If by slut she meant in the instance where Nick (Knight’s brother) was telling Anya she could have his choice of women who visit his club and then Knight basically confirming that he did, I guess...? But that’s not slut behavior? It’s just usual douche-y fuckboy material. Second, haha, Knight’s appearance made me ???? a lot because I kept thinking of a man in a bucket hat with shaggy hair and some sort of trench coat. I have NO idea where I got this image, but I kept thinking about it every time she described him. LOL. I screwed myself with that. Second, Knight did talk alot. Usual dirty talk; I cringed but then again, I always did whenever Knight opened his mouth.

I don’t know who Ty is, guessing from another book. 2) The insta-love/lust of the hero. With just one surreptitious glance at Anya as he walks into a room, he's smitten.

Actually, I think she’s wrong on this one. It was instant attraction for Anya when she noticed him walk into the penthouse she’s at; there was a big party and she noticed him almost right away. Almost everyone around him, in fact. I guess he was just supposed to be eye-catching and he was mad. It was his penthouse and his brother was throwing a party he didn’t expect. Anya wanted to go home early, her old phone didn’t work, she walked into Knight’s room to use the landline for a cab and then he gets mad at her for being in his room. He actually didn’t notice her until they were out of the penthouse and in the elevator when he actually takes a look at her. And THEN, I guess, decides she was attractive. But at the same time, there was no indication that he felt anything for her because he didn’t show and/or tell. But he did go overboard when taking her home; drove her home instead and then made a walk through to her apartment all the while getting mad that her apartment complex was a trash heap. 3) The nickname. It wouldn't be a Kristen Ashley book without a nickname. This one was Daddy. Enough said.

Like I said before, I have no idea what they were playing at with this. I would get if Anya was a sugar baby since Knight did basically everything for her and paid for all of her shit. Bought her clothes, a car, a salon. But she only ever called him Daddy in the bedroom. Never out of it. 4) The heroine is all legs, tits, ass, and big hair. I’ve only read maybe eight or nine Kristen Ashley books but in each and every one of them we have the same heroine. Physically. I get that it's nice to have women who are shapely, but it’s also nice to mix things up a bit. Can we please have a heroine who is short or I'll settle for medium height. Perhaps one with small breasts. Or one who's boy-shaped (there are women like that) with small ass and hips.

I mean, I haven’t read eight or nine Kristen Ashley books but I’d agree with her on saying Anya was supposed to be all legs, tits, ass, and big hair. I mean, I figured that’s just the usual for romance. I wasn’t too bothered by it but then again, I didn’t read eight or nine Kristen Ashley books and haven’t run into the same protagonist problems. 5) There was very little romance. Besides the fact, Anya looked good, I never got why Knight fell for her. Or what he saw in her to validate the insta-love.

This. Yeah. There wasn’t too much of romance but a lot of lust. Nothing wrong with that but there were times when I sat back all: “Why are you two together?” because it didn’t make sense to me. Knight seemed like a grade A shit stain and Anya was a cardboard cutout of other protagonists, I see. There was no wooing, no sweet words -- except out of Anya. Anya was always the one saying honey or sweetheart and would be tender while Knight would tack on a “baby” at the end of his sentences, sometimes. Oh, and SOMETIMES he would fuck her tenderly.

I also hated the fact that he kept threatening that “this is the end for us if you can’t accept this and what I do” due to his job and the secrets HE CHOSE TO KEEP FROM HER. Like, why can’t she be mad when things came to light? She wasn’t allowed to and even her best friend, Vivica, was all “Whatever he’s into, whatever anyone says about him and if it might be true, just roll with it” like... what the fuck. I don’t know what was dumber but all of it is just dumb. 6) Knight's profession.

Yeah, I said before he’s the owner of a nightclub called Slade and he has a high end escort business. His profession didn’t move me and this might just be the normie crowed crying about it because he was supposed to be “bad” -- I mean, he dealt with shady shit. Again, I didn’t bat an eye at it and he acted the big shot and shit. It was just silly, honestly.

And for some reason, everyone likes quoting this cheesy ass line of his. So, I’ll leave it here for tonight:

"Wars fought over a face like this," he murmured like he was talking to himself, my heart stopped beating and his thumbs moved lightly across my cheeks. "A man would work himself into the ground for it, go down to his knees to beg to keep it, endure torture to protect it, take a bullet for it," his eyes came to mine, "poison his brother to possess a face like this."

And that was my thoughts on Knight by Kristen Ashley.

OH YEAH, I forgot. I was honestly surprised I hadn’t seen anyone else bring this up but Knight didn’t want Anya and him to get married because it was basically too much of a hassle. When Vivica and Rash were going to get married only then did he give in A LITTLE because he thought Anya might be missing out on the experience.

He compromised in the terms of giving her a golden band and then saying he would wear one too. But they were not going to have a wedding. Just a party. And not a big one and basically said that anything celebrating a wedding was out. What the flying fuck, lmao. I get it, you don’t have to have a wedding but what the hell was this???

#{{ Book Talk

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lilly-white · 5 years

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NaNo Day 9 - 0 words

Yes you wrote nothing and no we’re not gonna dwell on that!

NaNo Day 10 - 1,284 words

Novel: The Dragon’s Concubine

Which scene: Part 1, Section 1, Laya POV, exposition scene

Writing experience: Thank all the higher powers for write-ins. They’re seriously magic. I don’t know if I would’ve gotten out of this slump if I hadn’t gone to this one. At the retro bar again, with darling M + A the Queen of Organisation + A2 the one who likes Westworld + older lady writing that New Forest story + beautiful blond girl with waist-long hair and pale pink glasses who actually works as a storyteller in Broceliande, fuck me, I couldn’t make up a more perfect “ethereal writer character” if I tried ahah. (I guess I’m the “slob wearing comfort hoodie and unbrushed hair” writer character.) Lots of talk about the “passion job” A wants to quit her job to get into (lol @ me ever mentioning anything about “you should do what you want to do in life” when my job is writing articles about shit like scratch cards and the different types of online roulette, RIP), lots of talk about writing habits & writing projects. (Broceliande storyteller is writing a medieval european fantasy in pantser mode.) Smoothie, sweets, big Malteser bag, pringles. First word race was a short scattered mess, second word race was a bit better due to binging on Maltesers, third word race made me feel like i was raking the bottom of my Idea Barrel with my nails. Really enjoyable. BUT NECESSARY.

Time spent: about three 20min word races between 3pm-6pm

Overall feeling: The wives have personality and background now, thank christ. And names! They have names! Because I can’t stand to leave them with “wife2″ or “wife3″ as names lmao. Suddenly two of them are best buds and gossip about wife number 1 who has a Complicated Past and is the deep and silent type (also happens to be Laya’s mum). And that family’s relationship with both the Sevdan valley + the surrounding areas is becoming more clear and definite. A few days back they were just 2D and now they really are beginning to feel like they’ve lived in this world more. This is the toughest process, I think - I’ve figured out Bahar and her familial drama, but Laya’s was sketchy at best so it’s scary to be faced by a blank like that. I also need to Not Care that my NaNo chart is under the curve. I’ll get there. Tomorrow in the train! Lots of writing to be done. And if I don’t catch up, it doesn’t matter, as long as I can get to know these girls properly and get my writing habit back.

#nanowrimo2018 #nanowrimo #writeblr #writer life #the dragon's concubine

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petri808 · 6 years

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Charmed Affliction

Lol, this was a HW assignment but I might as well post it here too :). 4500 words

FT Next Gen main characters of parents Gajeel/Levy (Sage Redfox) and Mira/Laxus (Isla Dreyar), with Erza/Jellal’s child (Andesine Fernandez) in a smaller role; Nashi Dragneel is mentioned. For pictures of the kids, please go to @petrischronicles, more character background and synopsis check out the AO3 link :)

“Just think about it, Isla, you don’t have to become a doctor, how about an EMT, or a surgical nurse…”

“Moooom just drop it already! Why can’t you understand that I don’t wanna work in the medical field!”

“But with your magic, you could help people. That’s why your sister…”

“Ugh, Please don’t compare me to her, mom I hate it when you do that.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to but, Isla honey I wish you wouldn’t sell yourself so short. You’re a lot smarter than you realize.”

Isla rolls her eyes, she was over having this same old debate, “Can I go? I gotta get to school already.”

“Do you need a ride, I could drop you off on my way to work?”

“Nah, I’ll walk.”

“Alright, well good luck on your test dear.”

“Thanks, mom.” Isla gives her mom a half wave as she walks out the door.

In a world where only about 1 in every 5,000 people are born with the capacity to wield inhuman powers, it was seen as special to be one of those few. But not everyone used their abilities for good or were even happy to have them. They couldn’t live an ordinary life and were expected to behave with a higher degree of acumen. But try explaining to a child why they couldn’t go to the same schools as the other kids in the neighborhood, or why they needed to attend a special school just for their own kind. All Isla Dreyar wanted to be was a normal teenager, with normal problems, but unfortunately, being born with magic meant the shy young girl would face a whole ‘nother set of stressors that could drive her to the brink.

Great, just great, as if things couldn’t get any worse in this class she just had to get an F on her quiz. Isla rolls her eyes, lets out a lengthy groan, and drops her head onto the desk, burrowing it between her folded arms, ‘I really, really… hate this class!’ A month ago, she had been warned by upper classmates, that told her Elemental Studies was one of the toughest subjects anyone with her type of magic would have to go through; and now she knew why because it thoroughly and utterly sucked!

In this realm, elemental magic was the most common type because it revolved around anything to do with nature, such as fire, water, plants, rocks, and well electricity just to name a few. But for Isla, that meant having to study several scientific topics such as chemistry, biology, and meteorology which were her weakest fields. Plus, it didn’t help that the teacher, Mrs. Aquarius was, let’s just say not very friendly.

Sage ducks into the room to check on his friend, knowing this was a difficult class for her, “Hey Isla,” a hand on her shoulder and a voice she knows all too well raises her from lamenting on the current situation. “You okay?”

A false smile quickly morphs onto her face. “Yeah!” Standing up and shoving her belongings into her school bag, “totally fine Sage, just a bit tired I guess, stayed up to cram ‘n all.”

The young man, moves out of the way as Isla shoulders her bag, giving her space while they head out of the classroom. “How’d you do on the test?”

Shrugging, “Average I guess…. Hey, wanna get something to eat at the caf?”

“Nah I’m cool, supposed to meet Nashi in the library so we can work on our group assignment for Mr. Capricorn’s class,” he reaches out to put his hand on her shoulder, “how ‘bout…” but she shies out of his reach.

“Oh…” her breathing falters, “I’ll just catch ya later then.” Isla walks away abruptly, leaving Sage a bit baffled by her sudden shift in attitude; not even giving him a chance to say goodbye. Still confused but now late for his meeting, he heads in the opposite direction towards the library.

Isla’s head is spinning, berating herself for being rude to Sage when all he had done was simply mention another girls name. Of course, it was a rival in her view, but he didn’t know that… ‘and, didn’t deserve the attitude,’sighing and plopping down under an old willow with her lunch. Sage Redfox, cool and collected Sage, or Tatsuo as some of his buddies called him was the one friend Isla had stayed close to since they were little kids. While his tastes eventually developed into the more gothic scene, fueling her own shift towards that genre, his personality was always open and charismatic, never dark or angry. Not to mention she found him very attractive, tall and toned, with long dark blue hair that he kept up in a ponytail most of the time. He was the one friend she could count on…. Releasing a long exhale, ‘I should apologize to him later.’

She rubs at her inner left wrist, closing her eyes to the realities surrounding her for the moment, and leans against the withered trunk. School, studies, acquaintances going about their day oblivious to one girl sitting all alone. They didn’t even notice her presence, Isla assumes, since she wasn’t one of the popular girls or in any real clique for that matter, able to count her real friends on one hand. Not that she minded so much, in fact she preferred it that way. Isla portrayed a tough girl image to keep people away and hide her real emotions not bring them closer, only those she trusts are ever brought into her inner circle.

But right now, those emotions are playing havoc with her mind, running wild down the darkest of paths and Isla wasn’t sure how to get off it. Isla raises her hand, watching the flickering white energy sparking off her finger tips, reminding of her of the so-called gift she should be thrilled to have. It was inherited from her father, a powerful ability he would often remind her, dangerous and yet lifegiving at the same time. Sure, it would be an easy thing to electrocute an enemy or restart a heart that had stopped beating. But she wasn’t interested in either, at least the going into the medical field part because that would require a lot more schooling than the young girl was willing to consider.

After releasing the built-up energy into the ground around her, she closes her eyes once more. It was unfair as far as she was concerned, that her sister inherited their mother’s transformation magic which was much easier to learn and deal with, and quite frankly a lot more fun. Imagine being able to turn into any person or animal you wanted to, even grow wings to fly away, ‘far away from here.’ Last Isla had overheard, her older sister was aiming for a career in law enforcement just like their father, ‘such a kiss ass!’

She notices a pair of boys creating and throwing snowballs at each other, hitting a girl on accident who retaliates by sending a stream of water to drench them. One of her friend’s waves as he flies through the quad with leathery wings kicking up some dust and pollen. Ugh, it was making her envious to see them having fun. Isla checks her watch, 7 more minutes of lunch, two more classes and it was back to her one sanctum in this world where she could hideaway in solitude.

Three hours later, the bell rings signaling the end of classes for the day. Isla packs up and heads straight for home without speaking to anyone she passes, simply intent on holing up in her bedroom for the rest of the night. She hears her name called out from behind as she steps through the front door of the school, but there’s no turning back today, not today.

Sage can see his friend at the front of a throng of students rushing for the exit. He calls out a couple of times, but Isla never turns around. A slight frown mars his face, could she not hear him? Not a remarkable notion when you consider the volume of chatter in that narrowed hallway. But ever since they had parted ways outside of Elemental Studies, he could tell that Isla was hiding something and now this only fueled his assumption that something was truly upsetting her.

“Oi! Tatsuo!”

He turns to see one of his buddies ambling towards him, “Whoa whassup Ande!” clapping his friend’s hand with an exaggerated handshake and quick shoulder bump type hug, “Where the hell were you last night, I thought you was gonna stop by my house?”

“That damn test was hell to study for, but I bet you breezed through it, last year.”

“Even more reason you should’a dropped by, idiot I could’a helped ya.”

“Eh,” Ande shrugs his shoulders, “I passed with a C.” The two boys head out along the side walk towards the parking lot and their cars. “You got plans or just going home?”

“I do, was gonna swing by and check on Isla ‘cause she seemed upset earlier.”

“Probably did bad on that test, she looked miserable when we got it back from the witch.”

“That’s what I thought too but I think it’s something else.”

“Oh.” Stopping at his car, Ande throws his bag on the backseat then turns again to his friend. “By the way… so, I’ve been meaning to ask,” peering around to see if anyone was nearby, he lowers his voice, “what’s the deal with you two?”

Shifting his stance, Sage’s eyes narrow and he crosses his arms in a defensive posture, “What do you mean?”

“Pfft,” rolling his eyes, the mocha colored hues flashing in amusement, “don’t give me that look. I know you like her, so what, you gonna stay in the friend zone forever or make a move any time soon?”

Sage sighs, “It’s… complicated okay? I just… She’s always been, like, shy about this stuff, so I don’t wanna push anything with her unless she’s ready for it.”

Andesine laughs and shuts his door, “I don’t know why you fuss over that one, especially after what you went through with Midori, so good luck man.”

“Midori wasn’t that bad, I just wasn’t as into her as she was of me.” Exhale,“But yeah, thanks anyways.”

The pair share another friendly handshake. “Catch ya tomorrow.”

“See ya Ande.” Tipping two fingers at his buddy before walking towards his own car.

It was only a few blocks from the school to her house, quicker with a few shortcuts so within 20 minutes she had made it, and even more pleased to see no one was home. Isla looks at her phone, 3:27pm, that meant her parents wouldn’t be home for at least a couple more hours. ‘Perfect!’ First order of business was to throw on some mind-numbing music and second, her version of therapy…

When he pulls alongside the curb fronting Isla’s house, it wasn’t immediately apparent if his friend was home, but he parks anyway and takes the chance. With his long legs, Sage traverses the short footpath to the porch in just a few strides and ascends the two-step staircase. “Isla?” knocking at the door and trying the handle. After finding it unlocked, Sage opens it and sticks his head through. “Isla are you home?”

He can hear music coming from the direction of her room but other than that, the house was quiet, no movement or sound, letting him know she was the only person home. Well, he’d come this far, so he makes his way down the hallway. Louder and louder the angsty blends of grunge alternative intensifies the closer he gets to her room, blaring sounds of metal music thumping against the walls.

Sage knocks at her door.

The razor blade is poised for the second slash when she hears someone knocking at her bedroom. Panic grips the young girl, who the hell was in her house! It couldn’t be her parents and her sister weren’t due for a visit anytime soon. Didn’t she lock the front door? ‘Oh crap!’ In her rush to numb her mind had she forgotten to lock the damn door?

“Isla? It’s me Sage.”

What was Sage doing there! Isla rushes around her room, clicking off the radio, throwing things into the closet, the dresser, shoving stuff under her bed until a sharp sting hits her. She looks down at her wrist as fresh little ruby beads break through the cut she had made a few minutes ago. It was beckoning, almost calling to her to remember the freeing sensation it conveyed, such a dark reddish hue against the paleness of her milky skin tone charming her…

“Isla? I can hear you moving around. Can I come in?”

‘Damn it!’ Sage, she had forgotten about him being there! In a panic, Isla looks around for her first aid kit. “It’s kind of a mess, could you, um, give me a couple more minutes to clean up?”

Sage chuckles, “I’ve seen your version of a mess, come on Isla…”

She fumbles with a bandage and gauze trying to wrap the cut and pull her gloves back on as quickly as possible. “Just give me a few minutes please!!”

He stops cold, lips twitching into a frown. That was a harsher reaction than was warranted, even from her. “Isla, what’s going on?”

“No…tsss. Oww, fuck!”

“Isla… what was that?” He tries the knob, but it was locked. “Are you hurt!” Banging louder on the door, “Isla, if you don’t open this door I swear I’ll break it down!”

“I’m fine Sage… Shit!”

Hearing the second cringe and that was it for him. He slams his shoulder into the door once, but it doesn’t budge.

“Sage are you crazy!!”

“Last chance Isla unlock it, or I break the door down. You know I could crack the metal hinges easily!”

“My parents will kill me if you do that!”

“Then I suggest you open it cause I ain’t leaving! Now, I’m counting to 3,” pause, “1… 2…”

Click.

Sage opens the door and finds Isla sitting on the edge of her bed. There are drying tears along her cheeks but looking her up and down, he couldn’t see what the cause of the pain noises could have been from. He hurries over and kneels in front of her, “Isla what’s wrong?”

“I told you, I’m fine, just, stubbed my toe on the bed.”

He glances down and see’s boots still on her feet, then back to her with a raised eyebrow. She’s obviously lying to him and when he notices her favoring one of her hands, he grabs her by the wrist to check it himself. “Oww!” Isla squeals, yanking back her arm and cradling the wrist against her chest. A new wave of tears flowing freely as the stinging pain radiates outward from the fresh cut.

Now he’s livid and grabs her arm again from a higher point forcing the glove off. “A bandage?” Looking back at her face, his crimson red eyes flashing in anger, “did you cut yourself?” Isla refuses to meet his stare and shakes her head with exaggeration. Grasping her by both arms, “Isla please tell me, did you hurt yourself?” Again, she shakes her head vigorously, no. “Don’t lie to me! What did you use, a razor blade? Where is it!!” Her eyes widen, frightened by the fury he was displaying. She hesitates but based on the seriousness in his tone, pulls it out of her pocket to avoid being searched by force. Sage snatches the small cutter from her outstretched palm and using his metal manipulation magic, turns it into a useless quarter sized lump. “No more of that.”

Sage rises to his feet. If she had failed the Elemental test, that was something he could handle. Parents just being on her case, nothing new to him. But a friend self-harming themselves, he had no idea how to react, and as he contemplates what to do, Isla sinks onto the edge of the bed with her head hung. There was no way she could look at him now. Why of all people to find this out about her than her crush? Could things get any worse? Oh, how she wanted to run the razor over her arm and let the physical pain counter the mental anguish called her life.

He walks away to stare out of the window, bracing against the frame. It was like having his heart ripped from his chest to see his friend in so much distress, that she had felt so alone that hurting herself had become the only recourse. His mind berates himself for not seeing the signs, for surely there had to have been some indications that Isla had been depressed. But as he racks his brain, trying desperately to find something, nothing special was standing out. Yes, in hind sight she had been a bit more detached, but since she had always been a reserved person it wasn’t such a noticeable difference.

With his back turned, Isla squeezes the bandaged wrist. If she couldn’t cut herself to bring on the pain, she could still get it another way. Her eyes roll back as the stinging sensation floods her consciousness and dulls the droning voices screaming in her head. Slowly she increases the pressure of her grip, sending new waves of euphoria against her ravaged mind, it felt utterly amazing to lose herself in its swells...

“Isla No!” Suddenly, she is ripped away from her thoughts when Sage grabs her hand to stop her personal assault. “Are you f’ing kidding me!”

“You don’t understand! It makes me feel better Sage! I’ve been so depressed over everything lately and it takes that away, it stops the voices that plague my every waking moment.” Isla stands up and paces next to the bed. “I hate that I have this stupid magic, my parents are always comparing me to my sister, and now that friggen class is going to drive my GPA even lower! Even the guy I like doesn’t see me.” Flailing her arms in the air, “nothing is going right in my life, nothing!”

“Wait, what guy?”

“Huh,” Isla stops her ranting, whipping around, “what guy?”

“Yeah, you said the guy you like doesn’t see you, who are you talking about?”

“I never said anything about a…” she pauses from the realization, ‘oh, snap, I did, didn’t I!’ Waving her hands adamantly to wipe the slate clean, “forget you heard that part,” she resumes pulling the first aid kit back out to fix her bandage like nothing strange had just happened. “Look, Sage, please don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t need any more people thinking I’m a bigger weirdo or loser.”

With nothing more than his own smarts and affection to guide him, Sage, leads her back to the bed and prompts her to sit down next to him. “Isla, I’m sorry you hate having magic, it bugs me too sometimes, but I think it makes us unique, you know, special. With your parents, they love you, you know they do, but… maybe they just don’t realize that some of their comments makes you feel this bad. And, don’t worry about class, okay,” holding her hand, sweeping his thumb over the silky skin, “I’ll help you with that, together you’ll get through it. But, why are you deflecting my question? Isla tell me who is this guy you like since it’s bothering you so much.”

“I…” looking away, “I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not, is it someone you know I’ll hate?”

“No… He’s actuallya really great guy…”

“Do I know him?”

“Well, yeah probably better than anyone else…”

Running his free hand over his face, “Pleasedon’t tell me it’s Andesine.”

Her head whips around to look at him, “What! Eww, no way, he’s not my type, plus his mom scares the hell out of me.”

“Then who is it?”

Isla looks down again, “I’m too embarrassed to tell you.”

Sage is torn, he doesn’t want to push too hard, concerned that doing so would drive her back to hurting herself when it seemed like he was making progress. But he was also curious, jealouslycurious to know who his rival might be. He sighs, noting the slight tinge of pink dusting her cheeks, and the increased warmth of her palms. Whomever her heart belonged to was bringing out an adorable reaction from Isla and if that wasn’t just tearing his own apart.

“You know…” squeezing her hand as moisture clouds his vision, “I wish you had come to me about all of this… We used to tell each other everything,” speaking softly with gentle underpinnings of a bruised spirit. “Isla I’ll always be here for you… no matter what.”

She can’t bring herself to look directly at his face, but her eyes flit upward briefly, gazing through plumed lashes and noting the concern his eyes are sporting. “I know…” a glowing flush to her skin only amplified by the darkening and spreading splotches along her chest. “I know you are.” At least deep down she did.

In that moment, the tough girl persona had dissolved into the Isla he knew was buried beneath the surface. For all her flaws, she was beautiful to him inside and out, a rough diamond simply waiting to be cut and polished. But the longer Sage soaks in her image, the more he realizes just how much he cared about the petite blonde with the dyed red hair.

“Okay, Isla I won’t push if you don’t want to tell me. But, well… I have a crush on someone too.”

Isla’s whole body stiffens. Things were progressing so well, she was actually starting to feel better but with that one statement, all of those airier feelings flew right out the window as her heart sinks and all the color drains away from her face. Of all the times for Sage to bring this up!

She squeezes her eyes shut, barely breathing out the question, “I-Is it Nashi?”

“Nashi?” a strong rebuke in his tone, “no, it’s not her?”

“Then who is it?” Her mind is spiraling, ‘Geez Sage just put me out of my misery already…’

“It’s you,” tilting her face up and smiling when her eyes pop open with genuine shock registering on her face. “Isla, it’s you.”

“Me?” She blinks, his words still not sinking in.

“Yes, you. Now will you tell me who you like?”

Isla pauses for a few seconds. “I-I like you too Sage.”

Sage let’s out the air he didn’t realize he was holding. “Wow it’s a good thing we like each other.” Chuckling, “cause, it’d be pretty awkward if you had said someone else.”

“But, I don’t understand…” Isla turns her head away, “why would you want to like someone like me? I’m not pretty like your last girlfriend, and I-I mean you, well, you’re popular, and really smart, but me I’m just…” longexhale, “just a total mess.”

“You’re not a mess. You have some issues but to me you are much prettier than Midori, and sweeter,” chuckling, “I can conduct your electricity so, I’d say we make a good match.” Caressing her cheek, “and you’re not dumb just because you struggle in science, your language and grammar skills are way better than mine.”

Her eyes fill with moisture, “you really think so?” Sage nods his head in response.

The stirring of emotions swirling in her mind was becoming overwhelming, so she closes her eyes, drifting away to process it all. Sage had caught her in one of her lowest moments and yet he hadn’t run but stayed to comfort her just like he had always done throughout their life. From scrapes and bruises in primary school, to fights with her sister. Late night chats about anything or nothing. He’d always been her best friend. So, why had she fallen so far down the rabbit hole? A part of her felt he deserved better, someone who didn’t seem to have so much baggage weighing them down.

But could she break the cycle or had the slope become too slippery to climb back up from? Isla wanted to believe everything he was saying, her heart wanted to take a sledgehammer to the wall that had been built up, but it was her mind that held back. All the what if’s plaguing it, would he hurt her in the end? To lose not just a boyfriend, a first crush, but a best friend, could her heart take that kind of pain? Like a drug dealer fueling its customer, the throbbing of her healing wrist harkened to her and she absentmindedly begins to rub at it.

Sage frowns as he watches her slowly revert inwards again. “Isla?”

“Hmm?” she opens her eyes and looks at him.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” He points to her wrist and that’s when she realizes what she had started doing again. “Sorry,” Isla stops rubbing her wrist, “I guess it’s become a habit.”

“Please, promise me you’ll stop hurting yourself. You mean too much to me to lose you now.”

She blinks, this sappier side of Sage was new to her. “I…” Taking a deep breath, could she really get better? After a brief pause and another long exhale, she nods, “Okay, I promise Sage.”

A companionable silence falls between the pair, Isla feeling a little better about her circumstances, and he holding-out hope that she would keep her promise. But it was a little awkward for her too, being so close and not knowing what to do next. Sage has had a girlfriend before, but Isla’s never had a boyfriend.

She fiddles with her fingers, “Sage, um,” tucking some loose strands behind her ear, “what are we? I mean, are we like a couple now?”

“Do you want to be? I just didn’t want to make you feel like we had to be one if you weren’t ready yet.”

“I guess it would be okay, I mean, I’m okay with it if you’re okay with it.”

“Isla,” he cradles her cheek, sweeping his thumb over the skin, “I would love to finally call you my girlfriend. Hmm, in fact,” Sage reaches over and picks up the former razor from where he’d dropped it, “maybe this will help.” Using his magic, he splits the lump into two portions, manipulating their forms into new pieces. “How about a promise ring,” slipping one onto her finger before placing the second ring on his. “Now everyone will know we’re taken, and it’ll remind us of our promises to one another.”

“Sage…” moisture quickening at her corners and her baby blue eyes brightening, “I-I don’t even know what to say, it’s,” toying with the simple gray band, she exhales and smiles wide, “this does make me feel a lot happier.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

#fairytail next gen #fan fic #gajevy #mirlax #jerza #kids #sage redfox #Isla dreyar #andesine fernandez #fairytail #high school AU #angst #teen romamnce #magic

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impolitecrows · 2 years

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copying me post on reddit because i wrote a lot hehe

Wow, okay! This seems to be their most controversial or second most...? there was SH after all album to date, haha. I mean, a year or so ago I would have agreed with the "if you don't like it, leave! No one will miss you" crowd, but recently I've been feeling I'm into my kpop groups... not really for the personalities anymore, but for the music. Plus, DC have started with a proper, 100% rock sound, that's how they attracted their western audience, some of which aren't into kpop at all, precisely because they were a girl group doing rock songs. I feel people have the right to be disappointed that they've been steadily departing farther away from that sound. Of course, maybe the previews didn't show us the real meat on purpose, and we're in for a surprise, but still I wouldn't blame people on feeling nervous at the lack of guitars.

I think I remember...? one or some of the girls liking Day6, a Korean rock group, so now when I'm hearing that none of them really like rock, it's a bit... surprising for me. First, because I almost... can't imagine not liking rock haha;;, and second -- because that would mean they worked for years on something they were lukewarm at best about, and now they're sort of "trapped" in it because it's became their signature sound. It doesn't sounds like a pleasant situation, I think, so I understand all the worries and such.

Anyway, heard we've got a highlight medley situation on our hands.

Intro: Save us -- well, that's an intro. Not exactly one of my favourites, but it's creepy and wet and sets an interesting, eerie mood.

Locked Inside A Door -- title aside, yeah! Yes! I understand the hype. It's funky! The trace amounts of guitars are interesting, although more jazzy than punk rock, and the bass is delicious! Always love me a good bass, it has to be said.

MAISON -- I have a problem with this song... Before, with lyrics spoilers and highlight medleys, I was able to say "Okay, so this seems to be the main melody of this song" but I can't really do that with this one, so even though we've got some material, I can't tell what this song is like. It seems we've got a prechorus and a postchorus part, so maybe the chorus is a surprise. I hope so. Anyway, the parts that we've got are nice, but don't make me feel as !!! as the previews of previous title tracks. Now say that very fast.

Starlight -- yeah, that's a #2 for me right after LIAD. Loving this one right off the bat, I also love me a good synth pop. Although I seem to hear them singing you're my starli-light rather than a more logical you're my starli-ight, which gets on my weird nerves a bit, but hey, a couple of listens and I'll get used to it.

Together -- it sounds very light and airy, and I agree with someone below who said it sounds a bit like Loona. A full listen will probably show its full potential, but for now I have to say I both love and find it funny how Dami's responsible for both the sweetest and highest AND lowest and coolest/toughest voice in DC.

Always -- again, a song I'll have to listen in full and probably read the lyrics to fully appreciate. Usually a ballad has to have that something to attract my attention, and so far it's a... ballad. It's definitely a ballad, yeah.

Skit -- unless they start talking at some point, it's not a skit, so I just... don't understand why it's not called Interlude. For some reason it reminds me of shopping centre background music.

Cherry -- okay, this is ridiculous of me and I know it, but I'm a bit aw :') that the photoshoot is with actual cherries rather than with Cherry lol;;; although maybe we'll get a surprise here as well. Either way -- cute! City poppy! Jiu! How can you not smile, both watching and listening...!

Not Dot -- the prechorus part has nice tension in it, but the chorus sounds quite girl-crushy-I'm-so-tough to me, which. Hm. Not entirely my cuppa. But again, after Wind Blows I'll wait for the full song to decide :p

Hwangholgyeong -- okay, this is not what I was expecting from a Siyeon song, but I love it! It has this... how to put it, almost fairytale-like atmosphere to it? It sounds like you're in another country in winter and you love it, but your feeling of awe is tinted by a feeling of pain because you know that this moment won't last forever? Mono no aware. This song sounds a bit like mono no aware lol;;; The strings and... do I hear right? Woodwind instruments? In the bg are delightful.

Han gyeoul -- I love Handong's voice, but the song feels somehow... empty to me, and the beat is a little bit too... thick? Loud? Not-subtle? Another Will Wait For The Full Version from me

For -- okay, this one is a surprise too, but what a delightful one! One listen was enough for me to start humming. Hold me~ anajwo~ Ah, with how she looks here, I do want to do just that 🥰

Beauty Full -- miss Dami in all aspects but physical I am kissing you on the mouth.

Playground -- I kind of expected this song would sound like this based on the title, but still 💛! It's fun and bright, and is the last sentence I feel so comfy? lol;;;

Overall, the album itself sounds good and promising, and the songs are as always solid -- you can't go wrong with Olleez and the girls! However, the title track mystery and the fact the album is split into half makes it both a bit stressing to wait for and not as coherent and smooth as TTOL. Still, TTOL is a masterpiece, so I wouldn't say it's bad to be below it haha;;

#aside from some obvious twitterites come to reddit the discussions are wonderfully civil. on reddit! can you imagine!

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solsdevblog · 2 years

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December 2021 Update

Hello hello, long time no dev update.

It’s currently December 14th - aka the birthday of the main character of my next game, Desirée - so I decided to make a big dev blog post about everything I’ve managed to do this year to prove that I’m working on this game!

Two Whole Chapters Completed!

That’s right! In 2021 I finished the sketch phases of chapters 2 and 3, which only leaves chapter 4 and the epilogue (which I’m calling the finale) before I can go ham and do all the finished assets and scripting!

The total word count of the game as of this point is 60,136! For reference, the longest Battle Live series game - Festival Live - totaled at just under 8k words! You can see why this game has taken me so long. If I were to give an estimate, I’d say that the game might reach 100k words total if chapter 4 and the finale end up at about the same length as the other previous chapters did!

It’s a Point and Click Visual Novel

As I showed ages ago on twitter, this game will feature point and click sections for the player to click around and explore the locations and story! It took a lot of work to get these right - mostly because I’m an extremely stubborn person - so here’s some previews of a few of them! (They are sketches with temporary assets because I’m in the sketch phase.)

Scene from Chapter 1

Scene from Chapter 3

Characters and Assets

Most of my character sprites (including side portraits that aren’t included here) were made in chapter 1 and the early parts of chapter 2, so there isn’t anything that was made this year (that I can share, because two new NPC sprites are spoilers). Here’s an image showing everyone so far!

The four main characters and the current roster of the supporting cast.

Chapter 2 and chapter 3 introduced eight new backgrounds. Designing and figuring out the perspective is always the toughest part of course, but I’m happy with how a lot of them came out! Chapter 4 currently has at least four backgrounds in queue, so wish me luck.

Four background sketches from the game.

And the GUI. I’ve been messing with this since the beginning, but what you see here is basically my stopping point before polishing it up. Colours and such can always be touched up a bit, but the overall design is in a good spot right now.

Various screencaps of the GUI

Final Thoughts

As of this post, I’ve been working on this game for two years and four months. That’s a lot longer than I thought I’d take with this game, but then again, it’s a much bigger beast. However the past few months have proven to me that I can make quality content in a much shorter amount of time than I thought, so I can see myself finishing the sketch phase of this game around this time next year at the earliest.

Now to go back into hibernation and make another post in a year, right? Well no actually, because I’m changing things.

With my old dev updates on twitter with the progress bar, I never shared any visuals due to being afraid of spoiling aspects of my game, but from now on - to keep you all updated constantly - I’ll be posting blogs like this once every other month to show what I’ve been up to (and to also motivate myself to work harder so I have things to show you guys).

What I have planned next is to try and get through the first two scenes of chapter 4 by the next dev blog (or maybe three if I’m feeling spicy). Immediately in chapter 4 I need quite a few new sprites and backgrounds, so I’m gonna be stuck in sketching hell for a while lol.

With all that said and done, I’ll see you guys near the middle of February 2022.

I can’t wait for you all to play my new game:

The Mysterious Thief; Forget Me Not

#dev blog

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teroknope · 6 years

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Can you do a oneshot with Kylo‘s son in training with Kylo Ren and is becoming exhausted/ frustrated with not being able to amount to his father, so he throws a temper tantrum (like Ren often does) and Kylo tries to calm him down and tell him it’s alright? That would be wonderful if you could do that please :) thank you

A/N: I have combined this with two other anons who asked for more Dad! Ren. It’s ended up being really long LOL. I wrote some of it while on my lunch break at work! Thank you for asking as well, I really appreciate it. I hope you had a nice Christmas (•ө•)♡. Also, I did not want to put in a specific name for Kylo’s son so it is Y/S/N (You can change it with that funky app I mentioned in the last ask!)

Edit: I completely forgot to post a link to the weapon Kylo’s son is using, which is this!

W.C - 2K

He remembers the first time he saw his father fight, he was a child, no older than five. He admired the pure strength with which he obliterated the droids. The second thing he remembers is the first time he saw Ren use his lightsaber. Y/S/N had always seen the saber on his father’s belt, but never the blade itself. He never imagined it would be so bright. All this impressed him immensely. He saw his father in a new perspective, one which he came to admire.

Y/S/N had finished his schooling for the day and was frantically bored, he had been home for less than one hour when he began to ask question after question. You didn’t really mind as he was a curious child. He then asked something he never had before.

“Mom, I miss dad, can we go see what he is doing?” he warmly smiled at you.

You paused and glanced at your son, you knew your husband was training this late afternoon. In fact, he had been busy the past few weeks. You took your subspace transceiver and contacted Kylo, he was only a few floors down but it was easier to take your son there and be turned away

Ren was training immensely; today was more physical than mental. He was sweating from head to toe, his arms and legs gently throbbing. The focus and silence of the room were disturbed by a nervous first order officer walking in, looking like had gotten the short straw.

“Commander Ren, Lady Ren wishes to contact you” A First-Order officer informed Ren, he took the transceiver out of the officer’s hand. You appeared in the palm of his hand in the dim blue hologram.

“What is it?” Ren asked, although short of breath.

“Y/S/N Want’s to watch you train, may we come down to you?” You asked hopefully.

Kylo pondered for a short moment “Yes… come down whenever you are ready.”

You looked at your son and smiled, Ren heard him excitingly yell in the background, it made him smile gently. He was thankful his officer could not see his smile through his mask.

Half an hour later you brought him the training room, the room was separated into two parts. The entrance was small, a big thick layer of glass acted as a barrier between them and the room. It was a place ideally build to train Stormtroopers, Ren made sure modifications were made to suit his training. The room was just about large enough to swing a lightsaber around, but not much more than that.

“Lady Ren,” The First Order officer greeted you, you smiled at them. Your son ran ahead of you, standing close to the glass. All he saw was darkness, and then the powerful erratic glow of his lightsaber appeared. Y/S/N watched as Ren held it next to him, the red light reflecting off his face. Needless to say, Ren obliterated the droids.

This was the first time seeing him as a warrior. He admired the strength and swiftness in which he swung the lightsaber; it was like it was air.

Kylo obliterated the droids in mere minutes, the training session ended and lights returned to the room. The scattered remains of scrap metal spread across the floor.

“Clean this up,” Ren sturdily ordered the troopers as he placed his lightsaber back into his belt. He did not need his vision to sense that his son was watching him, although he could not make out his expression. He felt a slight twinge of fear; this was the first time your son had seen him in this environment.

Kylo entered the observer room, the whirls and clicks of his mask echoing through the room as he removed his mask. He held it in his gloved hand.

“It has been a while since I saw you train,” You remarked, he looked good all worked up.

“Dad!” Y/S/N excitedly yelled, running to Kylo and hugged his legs tightly. He noticed one of the officers smirking slightly, Kylo had grown accustomed to his son being with him and other First Order officers, but it did not stop them talking. Kylo glared at the man menacingly. You observed that the officer’s lips turned expressionless…and slightly blue?

His son pulled away from Kylo, still gripping onto his clothes. “That was so cool! The way you swung your saber and that moment where used your hand to slam the droid against the wall!” He spoke rapidly, not taking a second to breathe.

Kylo bent down and picked his son up, balancing him in the crook of this arm. He handed him his helmet, although it was a bit heavy for his small arms, he did not admit it.

You were admiring the moment of Kylo holding your son, he did not hold any fear in his eyes; just admiration.

You happy moment was disturbed by A First Order officer arriving in the room “Lady Ren, General Hux requires your assistance”.

You signed, inwardly, of course; Kylo could sense your annoyance “Regarding what matter?”

“The reports regarding the Tie-Fighter weapon schematics”

You nodded at the officer “I will be there shortly”.

Kylo watched you leave the room, he held his son in his arms. He took the helmet from him and held it in his hand. Y/S/N rested his head on his shoulder.

Kylo began walking towards the elevator which leads to your room with Y/S/N still in his arms, passing numerous officers and troopers along the way.

He entered the elevator that leads to there home; It moved slowly. The lights were dim, Y/S/N nuzzled into Kylo’s shoulder. Finding comfort in the safety of his arms. He could tell he was tired. Kylo wrapped his other arm around his son, bringing him into a tight hug. His son softly spoke before to him.

“I want to be as strong as you someday”

Y/S/N wished that moment would have lasted forever, how gentle his father was with him, despite the brute strength he had witness moments before. As always, things could not stay the same. As he himself began to physically change and age, so did his training in the force.

He still remembers how his father made it seems so easy all them years ago, and yet here he was struggling to put a first order blade through a droid. General Hux and Ren were observing him a distance, ironic how the roles were reversed.

He was in the same spot his father was, surrounded by droids, although feeling more like a fool than a brave warrior. His black hair was filled with sweat, his cheeks red and his skin dry. He had defeated around four waves, he had forgotten how many but it felt like more than four. He had a short moment to rest, but it did not last long,

The new droids began their malicious assault, stepping over the scrap pieces of other droids that surrounded the floor. He took his weapon, which for today was a Z6 riot control baton, he sighed when he received it off General Hux, who had a slimy smile.

He wished he had a saber light his father, but I suppose this would have to do.

He retaliated with all of his strength but he took a pause for a moment, which was his downfall. Within less than a second the one remaining droid grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, he howled. His hand relaxed and his weapon fell to the floor with a cold thud. Y/S/N groaned, he felt the droid let go of his arm. He mistakenly relaxed, again.

The droid harshly kicked the back of his right knee and threw him onto the cold floor with ease. His cheekbone bouncing off the metal slabs. He felt the metal knee of the droid bearing down into his back, the cold hand clutching his head pushing it further against the ground.

“Enough” Ren’s voice resonated through the speaker.

The droid ceased fighting and returned to its post. Y/S/N remained on the cold ground for a few seconds, enjoying the relaxation of his back and arm. He begrudgingly sat on his knees; turning his aching neck to face the room which Hux and his father were in. Not Good he thought as he saw Hux beginning to converse with ren.

“Not what you expected commander?” Hux smirked, “Your son has been training for other a year now, I would have imagined some improvement if he is to be of use to The First Order then-“

“That’s enough General, I won’t delve into matters you fail to understand” Kylo interrupted him. Like General Hux would understand the severity of training in the ways of the force.

Y/S/N groaned, rolled over and stood up. The training seemed endless, day in and day out. He wasn’t sure what was more gruelling, the meditation or the physical strain. His hands were covered in blisters, cuts and bruises, It hurt to bend his fingers.

He wondered when the pain would stop. Kylo never went easy on him, from the start he told Y/S/N that it would be the toughest thing that he had ever done. Kylo never went easy on him, never let him win one for sentimental sake. He had to be tough, resilient and strong.

By the time he had managed to stand up and look at the glass only Hux remained. He wearingly sighed, he stood up, rotated his shoulder muscles and picked up the weapon he had dropped. Even bending down to the floor hurt.

The first sound he heard was the opening of the only door in the room, the next thing he heard was the unsheathing of Kylo’s lightsaber, he felt his heart stop for a short second. He hastily turned in the direction of the familiar noise.

“F-father?” Y/S/N was confused. Ren was pacing towards him at an increasingly fast pace, he began backing away from him, his own father.

“Don’t back away from me Y/S/N,” His voice reverberating through his helmet, “Face me”

Y/S/N unsheathed the Z6. He barely had time to equip it before Ren struck a blow at him; barely missing his left arm.

He fought back but every strike of Ren’s saber pushed his arms back, every strike he went was too heavy and Kylo was too swift. Dancing around Y/S/N like it was nothing.

“Fight back, Y/S/N” his voice was emotionless like he was not fighting his son.

Ren lifted the blade to strike from above but Y/S/N pulled up the baton and used it to defend himself. He struggled immensely, his arms suddenly feeling like lead, this feeling shifted into his entire being as Ren used the force to propel his son forcefully forward. He bounced off the floor to then uncontrollably roll across it.

He groaned loudly as he began to stand up, he ached everywhere, Kylo twirled his saber in his hand. The noise bleeding through Y/S/N ear’s

“Focus! Y/S/N!”

He became furious, of course, he was focusing what else had he been doing the past year, no since his earliest memories of his father teaching him the ways of the force.

“I can feel your frustration,” Kylo commented “use it”

He ignored the pleas of his body, he bellowed roughly; forcefully attempted attack Ren, and he let him get close to him. He used all his strength to swing the Z6 at his father. Kylo, in one swift move, scraped the saber across the floor; the sparks of heat falling onto Y/S/N body. He could feel the short burns of the small sparks on his face.

“I’ll never be as strong as you, ever since that day I first saw you train, I always wanted to be your equal” He ran his arm across his face, wiping away the small specks of blood from the sparks.

“But I am nowhere close… all this training for nothing!” he roared at Kylo.

He gripped the Z6 with great force and dragged it across the clean walls of the training room, scraping off the white tiles; leaving black residue as a replacement.

Kylo waited. His son stopped for just a moment, breathing loudly. Kylo began to approach him but he saw his son move sharply, his eyes peering into the room behind the glass, the room where he watched his father all them years ago. But what he saw now was Hux smirking, whispering to a First Order officer.

“I’d say he is just like commander Ren in his childish temperament…wouldn’t you ag-“. Y/S/N gritted his teeth in anger, he may be frustrated at his father in this moment but he detested any words from Hux’s mouth, especially when they were distasteful.

With brute force swung the Z6 was flung into the glass, although not smashing it. The First Order officers took a few steps back and Hux took, even more, his eyes panicky watched as the crack spread throughout the glass. Then Y/S/N lifted up his bloody hand, he tensed his fingers to turn the large cracks into small shards of glass. He could feel Hux’s fear.

“Y/S/N” Kylo commanded, “That’s enough”. He removed his helmet and placed it on the ground. He could sense his son’s emotions, ones that felt too similar to his own at times. Anger, fear, hate, frustration.

“It’s not enough is it though?” his eyes were bloodshot, dry and beginning to form tears “it’s never enough for you is it!”

Kylo calmly spoke to him “it is enough Y/S/N”

“But you are getting to that point, you managed to hold off my saber for a few seconds.” Kylo complimented his son “That’s far more than what you did a few months ago”.

“It doesn’t matter what I did a few months ago, or even now” His voice wobbling, “I will never be as strong as you!” He roared at Ren, the boundaries between father and son and apprentice and master blurring once again. He did not want to show his father weakness, he had to be strong, as expected.

But to Kylo his son’s weaknesses were as clear as glass; he could see it in his eyes and could sense it in his mind. Time for Y/S/N seemed to pass slowly, thoughts whizzing through his head at a million miles an hour. But then it all came to focus, Kylo had placed his hand onto his shoulder; he noticed in that moment how his son was no longer the little boy that admired him from a distance, he becoming his own person, and with that trying to find his place in the universe. He looked at his eyes, which avoided his contact, they were sore, red and full of fear.

“Y/S/N” he called out, his son looked at him, his mind full of ambivalence.

“If you do not think you are strong you should look at your surroundings, a person who is weak could not do this” Kylo gestured with his hands. The room was devastated, he knew this would have consequences for his father. His mind was suddenly was brought to the present. Kylo could sense his worry.

“Do not worry Y/S/N. You have done well today” he gently spoke to him “I am proud of you”.

What? Y/S/N was in shock. Kylo had never once said that to him throughout his training. Even the disrupting voice of Hux could not get through his thoughts.

“Ren, I will not have you obliterate my ship!” Hux attempted to scream, although his voice had a twinge of fear. He could deal with one force user on his ship, but not two and not two who were very similar in power.

Ren intimidatingly walked over to hux, the glass cracking between his boot.

“You should use choose the words to talk about my son and myself more carefully next time, general.”

Y/S/N felt that same happiness when he saw his father train for the first time, although it was more accurate to describe it as pride.

#kylo ren x reader #hexfalcon #kylo ren imagine #star wars imagine #dad! kylo ren #kylo ren fanfiction #star wars fanficiton #mentions of general hux #theleastwriting #MKWrites

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megan-cutler · 6 years

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I stole this one from @wchwriter! (Not going to tag anyone, but answer if you like ;) 1. Are there consistent messages or underlying themes you find cropping up in your work? I've mentioned this before, but grey morality is a theme that crops up in my work a lot. I don't like the idea of a black and white, good and evil world. Because that's not the world we live in. The toughest questions often don't have a right answer. And even trying to do the right thing can sometimes lead down a dark road. I like to force my characters to face these tough decisions, to skirt a line with the shadows in order to do good, and see how they come out the other end of the experience.

2. Do you find yourself relying too much on any particular story element? No? I mean, I actively try to avoid doing this and mix things up a bit when I catch myself slipping into one of these. I like to put twists on typical tropes anyway, so a lot of the time I'm not following the usual path anyway.

3. Television series or film for what you’re workin’ on? Television series for both Dreamers Do Lie and Symphony of the Stars ^^;; there's just too much going on to cram them into movies (especially SoS). The mystical island books might fit each into a movie, because they were my first books and they're fairly linear compared to everything I've written since. Eternity's Empire is already basically written in episode format :p

4. What sort of thing does a character of yours have to do to be irredeemable? Or is no-one beyond redemption? This is a tough question. Because I think redemption is a largely personal thing (I actually explore this idea in Dreamers Do Lie). If a character believes themself to be beyond redemption, they will often make choices that reinforce that, thereby moving themselves ever farther away from achieving it. Redemption also partly depends on the other characters in the story or the world; if a character has done something that makes them iredeemable to another character, then they might not be able to come back from that no matter how hard they try. But to me, personally, what makes a character irredeemable? Probably the inability to care about how their actions affect others, the inability to see beyond themself to the world and how their actions affect it. You cannot redeem yourself if you literally don't give a shit about anything you've ever done.

5. That one word that you keep using out of reflex and grit your teeth whenever you notice you’ve dropped it for, like, the thirtieth time in the same paragraph? Oh man... I have a new one of these for every project x.x No sooner do I weed one than do I come up with another. Apparently in my last project 'almost seemed' cropped up an inordinate amount of times, so I'll be keeping an eye out for it in the future ^^;;

6. When you think up a character, what is the first part of them that leaps to mind? Or does it vary? It really varies. I usually reach for some kind of core concept, but sometimes I only find it after a lot of trial and error. Rose started as sort of my ideal avatar and evolved into something completely different as time went on. Domerin started out focused on his channeling abilities, but came to me fully formed and with a voice of his own; he's pretty much been in charge since then. Zita started out as a Sailor Moon fan character, but has since created an entire world around her so that she can leave the realm of fandom. Often some of my characters will grow out of my other characters; Domerin spawned Kantis (a character in my space opera) for example and Alryia came from Cazella. So my characters give me a sketchy idea of how these other characters might be personality wise, and they eventually form their own characteristics.

Actually talking about this makes it sound really weird XD

7. Do you prefer to let the mechanics of your made-up world hang vaguely-explained in the background or is it better to have them upfront and all laid bare? I like to explain the way my world works, with the caveat that it makes sense for me to explain how it works. I don't like info dumps and I try to avoid them. If there's a clever or interesting way for me to explain how something works that makes sense for the characters to discuss or present somehow - great! If not, then I just try to show how things work as best I can. I don't want to totally divert the plot to get my mechanics in there, even if I've spent hours coming up with how something actually works XD

8. Do you put much thought into what you name your characters? Does it even matter? Why? Sometimes I do. I really feel like the right name can make a character live. That said, I often use name generators because otherwise my characters would just never have names ^^;; I've used tons of methods in the past from randomly hitting the keyboard (Azmih) to picking names out of a child's name book (Zita) to just picking something I like (Rose). I can't actually remember how I named Domerin anymore XD But I wouldn't be surprised if it was the one name that just came to me :p That guy!

9. Research much? All the time! I can't count how many times I've set aside what I'm working on for an hour to research what I need to know to write the next paragraph. And then after an hour of research I write a sentence XD Maybe two LOL Such is the life of a writer!

10. Giant, stompy robots: cool, or the coolest? Pfft, the coolest! No contest!

#writing #writer #memes

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myelomacancermomblog · 3 years

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𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕"

Still to this day, Jason and I are at odds over the beginnings of our relationship ....

In fact, this is where I finally began to understand just exactly how two people can experience the exact same thing yet see it so differently!

Maybe 𝒚𝒐𝒖 can be the one to decide who’s really telling the truth?

It was our second date and even though I was only 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒍𝒚 interested... we both agreed that after a fun date of watching a pirate show that we didn’t want the night to end so we ended up going to the beach. I still remember every detail, in fact, I recorded it in my journal...

It was dusk as we walked hand in hand along the beach. Birds were flying all around us swooping along the shoreline. On the opposite side in the background there were a bunch of teenage boys hanging out talking and laughing, we stopped simultaneously and hugged for a minute, therein Jason leaned in for a kiss where I returned his affection... So this is the full and complete story, 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒕.

One day, in the not so distant future, Jason was writing in his journal on his iPad, he mentioned how he had recorded about that night, our first kiss. I asked if I could read what he had written, he reluctantly obliged. And to my surprise, his perspective of that night was completely different then mine! He actually took me as the aggressor! 𝑴𝑬! (A little absurd don’t ya think? 🤨) Now, there wasn’t much detail to his account which leads me to believe that anyone can make themselves believe anything they want to if they just try hard enough 🤔

After being in my first and only long term relationship ever... I’ve learned a great deal along the way. Sometimes the toughest part of any relationship even if it’s a mere acquaintance is to be able to understand and empathize with their point of view. We don’t necessarily have to agree with everyone on everything but we can respect their perspective and learn to 𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒛𝒆 with them. This could possibly bridge the gap between contention and possible appreciation where love can then flourish.

I don’t necessarily agree with Jason in this particular instance... In fact, I think anyone with any common sense wouldn’t either lol. But I do respect his point of view, and love him no matter how wrong it might be ❤️ But either way, this probably won’t ever be resolved, at least in this life anyway.

𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑷𝒀 𝑽𝑨𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑺 𝑫𝑨𝒀 !

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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13x03 watching notes

The Saga Of Dean’s Fluctuating Grief Scruff

Berens has made me cry exponentially more in each of his episodes for a while. At this rate I will cry 6-9 times in this episode, so I really hope we break the streak.

I'm so pumped for this episode.

Hahaha me 10 seconds ago: fuk u berens don't make me cry

recap: how about we paste "goodbye Cas" over the shot of Dean kneeling by dead Cas?

I have returned with my stuffed toy umbreon "taako from eevee" and I have hugs

OH NO Jack recap, pasting Lucifer over him in awful flashes and trying to sell his dark side even though he is a squishy.

WELP they're going right there with the Sam drinking blood parallel with Dean saying when has anything ever gone right for us. Is Jack going to Fuck Up today? Or is that just emotional backstory?

Awww Missouri's BFF. I love her already.

I guess this guy is the wraith. I think I remember him from the promos.

Hey, here's the tarot cards. They're for the MotW

The wraith was in the mirror that's behind them but it didn't show his face all wraith-y. Pfft.

Uhoh, Dean's music is different... Brb need to get a Mittens on the line.

The only word I caught was wall and then we cut to no music and Jack marvelling at the brickwork.

Okay, Mittens told me the song and I looked it up and yeah it's the Rolling Stones and completely romantically neutral.

This is the bit we got:

Mama says yes, Papa says no, Make up you mind 'cause I gotta go. Gonna raise hell at the Union Hall, Drive myself right over the wall.

I almost think it was chosen just because Jack was pawing at the wall.

Jack being fascinated with the bricks in both 13x01 when Sam was ASKING him about the portals between universes, and now when he's just pawing at the bricks reeeally makes me feel like Jack has a fascination with the brick and mortar pattern, like these lines between the solid planes are somehow tickling at whatever deep down cosmic part of himself knows about the portals. If he's still figuring it out or something.

Oh no here's the awful promo that nearly made me cry last night.

I am so sad that Jack's been hiding in his room.

It is adorable how he looks at the data stick, like, getting it's important but totally baffled about HOW and what to DO with it. Sam's starting to take for granted that Jack is a bit more... well, together, than he actually is. The real question is does Sam know he was stabbing himself? That's such a hard thing for Dean to tell Sam, and not betray empathy to Jack - unless he grumpily delivers the news and legs it :P

But yeah, anyway. Sam expecting Jack to be able to do things he can't, maybe starting to take Jack's fast learning for granted when it comes to how he's managed to adapt to burgers and reading and stuff. He's still a 4-5 day old person, and he's never done this before... Sam hands him the USB stick without even stopping to think at first that Jack might not be capable of using it...

*stares at Sam staring at Jack* I think he's feeling deeply sympathetic - I reblogged some meta about how they have a shared experience here but Jack's getting so much more than Sam ever did. Ironically, I was gonna make a parallel to Home, without stopping to think that Missouri is here but let's call it a real meta parallel then - Mary saying even 3 words to Sam in Home was the most Sam had ever seen of her in his entire life and the most words he could remember her saying to him, ever. Of course Mary and Kelly were/are paralleled as mothers, and Kelly to Jack will be a much more pure image because she never did anything dark or made any deals - he's born because she had no idea she was sleeping with Lucifer, so even though Mary was put in an AWFUL place she made the deal with enough accountability she is held responsible for it, and FEELS responsible for it. Since Jack's powers are already being textually paralleled to Sam and his demon blood I think this is an interesting thing to put a pin in.

MIIIISSOURI HELLO

She sounds and looks almost exactly the same. It's been THIRTEEN YEARS what the hell

She looked older in 1x09

maybe it's just the different colour schemes and lighting these days :P

Oh no and we're back to Kelly

Her words are so important in a kind of free will exposition way. She's so proud of him!!!

"YOU HAVE AN ANGEL WATCHING OVER YOU"

I know I sobbed about that in 12x23 a bit but just... the reminder, right now. In this episode where we have been teased that Cas is going to be around again (I miss him so much)... I think it's interesting because Kelly tells Jack that no one can tell him who he can be (which I think may be a problem long term that Sam is interested in moulding him so even TFW aren't a completely safe bet to hang out with for Jack to gain a sense of personhood - he'll have to fly the nest eventually) but then she reminds Jack that an angel is watching over him. Obviously she is a Good Person in the show's narrative, and angels in her perspective are good (because Cas was kind to her) and Cas specifically is AWESOME and this is the reminder that Cas is Jack's father now apparently and all... but it's also setting him aside in a way. I think perhaps Jack needs to come to terms with what Cas is that isn't exactly his FATHER per se but also isn't just the angel on his shoulder, in the exact same way Dean needs to realise Cas isn't his BROTHER per se but also not just the angel on his shoulder. It's that grey area. In Jack's case, it's because a reckoning with Lucifer and understanding the potential darkness in him, or his legacy as being Lucifer's son, can't be ignored. Cas can't be pasted on top of it for his deep down personal understanding, and Kelly mentions the father and Castiel as separate entities. The father doesn't define what Jack is... Cas has a more neutral position, a guiding one... But I think some wires may be crossed with Jack, too, that has given Cas absolute fatherhood in such a way that it's going to be GREAT for Jack to set his moral compass by such a well-meaning good character who seems to want the best for Jack, but it can't be his entire understanding of himself.

...

Sorry for just throwing a Destiel parallel into all that but it fascinates me that tbh Sam is like the only one who doesn't have a complicated relationship with Cas. I guess also Mary got to grips with him around 12x09, but then also didn't have a whole bunch of contact with him... On the other hand in my Christmas fic I haven't even got the remotest idea what it will be about yet but will feature all the current living characters in a fluffy Christmas scenario, I'm pretty much ready for Cas and Mary to be the chillest friends :P

LOL Sam and Dean talking about how long since they saw Missouri "what has it been a decade?" "MORE" Yeah you FUCKS she said to stay in touch. DON'T BE STRANGERS.

That is a cold sweat moment for Dean, like... fuck I haven't ever even sent her a CHRISTMAS CARD

Maybe he sees her name in John's journal sometimes and does send her one.

Awww and Sam was talking to Jody off-screen, which I love because that is my JAM

*badum tish*

Dean is alarmed that Sam handed off the case to her, because he wanted to leave the freaking house and get awaaay from Jack

He's not that concerned about Jody.

I mean, rationally, he knows Jody is the Toughest Cookie they've ever met. She went up against Leviathan WITH AN APPENDECTOMY

But in the immediate here and now? He is PISSED that Sam wants to keep them sequestered away in the Bunker with the one thing he can hardly bear to co-exist with in the same universe.

His stomping off is an End Of moment... Reminded of 9x06 because Berens, but also because in the start of that episode Dean takes the lead from Cas and legs it from researching with Sam and Kevin, and it's like a horrible reverse motivation. Cas is dead and he can't bear to be around that horror and guilt and confusion. He needs the distraction, so off he goes on a solo case, leaving Sam behind. His angry "you got me" when he skips out on research and Kevin thinks he has it all sussed out why Dean is leaving is again a reverse of Dean's self-professed anger at the situation when he knows that Jody will be FINE and of course she's part of their competent hunter network who can handle things probably a hell of a lot better than them, being an actual cop and all. But it makes one hell of an excuse to go. And Dean was in a pissy mood then as well but it was his own fuck up about Gadreel bothering him and his guilt about what he'd done to Cas. So external motivators help him leave. This time it's all internal motivators where he WANTS to leave. So he makes it all happen by getting irrationally angry at Sam.

CORN FIELD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I know it was most likely just There but hey we have a Turducken slammer poster in the background and corn syrup blah blah, and corn = Cain

Theeeemes, as Mittens says.

JODY JODY JODY

Missouri drops some heeeavy hints about not having family around any more.

She always did love that car. A reminder she's known them basically their entire lives, since The Fire, and she knew the car as both John and Dean's.

Also a handy way to make her a trusted ally and as Mittens says, the car is Dean's soul and Missouri has seen inside him.

HE JUST WANTS HUGS

He heard Missouri and Jody were in the same place and was like FUCK YOU SAM I AM GOING TO COLLECT MY HUGS

But seriously even if he's kinda putting it all on a bit because he's miserable, these people are genuinely cheering him up just to see and he's getting physical comfort from two parental figures to him.

(he's so weird about Jody being a mom figure)

LOL Missouri did the thing

The thing literally every single person said they wanted her to do

he should have hugged Jody first

Is it just me or did she hesitate on "loss" and then add the "es" after a moment of uncertainty? Please tell me one is not drowning out the other I will die.

Although of course, Missouri is a HUGE reminder of the Mary stuff because she comes connected to their home and Dean is having to re-re-confront that and OF COURSE he does it when he's lost Mary AGAIN. And pfft I spent yesterday writing about Jody re-losing her son in 5x15 and having the problem of fresh loss after getting someone back you didn't think you'd ever HAVE back.

I love that we're seeing Missouri's process. She's reaaally spelling out the exposition. But in this case I can trust that that's just because the actual method and knowing that it's a wraith and his MO is just a random detail to all the more important emotional stuff. That this is just some necessary building blocks to get to the good stuff and this is the fastest way to get us there.

Sam immediately starts getting into choppy water and I'm one line into the next scene. He's bringing up training Jack... Sam, we've spent the last 2 weeks talking about how it's not a great idea for you to try and harness him for your own reasons because it will make you look bad to him. Jack needs to trust you!

I'm worried he'll end up thinking that Sam giving him the connection with his mom was just a way to soften him up a bit more to Sam. Like yeah on the surface level it's lovely and shows Sam has been careful and paid attention and collected all the evidence from the house to check if anything will be important for Jack (not the 100s of diapers)... And then found this thing and immediately decided Jack should have it because it would mean so much to him. it's great that he cares so much he did this!!

But yeah putting the scenes back to back is a little uncomfortable because Sam does have motives, and like I said last time out, if Sam HADN'T just lost Mary through a rift Nougat unknowingly opened, he would 100% definitely treat Jack with the exact same care because he is a sweet guy.

But looks bad.

Sam is waving a pencil. He looks like a lecturer.

This is a different part of the Bunker or the library from an angle we never see and this is a new table with a different lamp and I am so horrified, as the Table Meta person, to have a bunch of new stuff to work out and write about :P

This is the Yoda Table for the time being

I suppose it's a new place for a fresh start and, like, virgin territory for meta meaning. Whether it's the store room or the library the important thing is it's DIFFERENT and it's a sort of secluded corner than right out in the middle of the war room or something. It's a sort of private nook kind of feeling. Sam is trying to make a comfortable environment for Jack.

Jack glances at Sam.

Thing is, Asmodeus got him to open a portal to hell by cajoling him, and Sam's asking him to get control of basic things like moving a pencil around. It SEEMS safe and like a good exercise to try and get to grips with his powers and learn finesse and control, and for Jack's sake too. But... Idk, still looks dodgy Sam. I mean I can absolutely and 100% see a surface level where this is adorable and great and Sam has a new friend/nephew, and for the time being I'm enjoying it as it is. But I have this worried feeling that Sam is not going to help Jack emotionally, even if this works in the short term, because Jack has room to be suspicious of what Sam wants, and even if Sam doesn't ask for a while, he has a motivation for Jack to learn to control his powers beyond JUST wanting to help him. I think their dynamic is great and fascinating, but I am worried that from Jack's perspective he won't get the nuance of Sam - Sam needs to open up to him for one thing about his own fuck ups and what Azazel - another yellow eyed demon - did to him.

And Jack glancing at Sam who is watching him so intently is the tension here - can Jack trust Sam when Sam may be just as interested in Jack as Asmodeus was? How can a 5 day old TELL?

James has a super nice house.

Also Missouri is "not supposed to call" but they used a recent calls screen on her phone instead of a contacts list, and James was on it, which means that she HAS been in contact with him recently, and therefore prop department messed it up. The CGI in this episode has made 2 errors already >.>

OH NO JAMES DOESN'T BELIEVE

"it's coming for you and pa-" nooo

WHERE IS PATIENCE

I wanna see her on screeeeeeeeeeeeen

WHAT DID MISSOURI DO TO JAMES?

She was a John parallel in 1x09 and allied with him and withholding epic amounts of plot info that only she knew what could have been everything up to and including end of season 2 reveal stuff. Her powers make her kind of a disaster friend tbh. Like, great at a party but if you don't believe your mother has visions and is, idk, hysterical or something, then OH BOY that makes for some family trauma. We'll see how this shakes out but right now James at least is successful and rich and has nooothing to do with his mother even though he may potentially be psychic and repressed about it himself, since the wraith will be coming for him and Patience, and we know SHE is.

I kinda don't wanna make a parallel where she's the bad parent and fucked up her son who has repressed his powers because oh boy he's got like a Dean Smith level apartment and this is a can of worms I can't be bothered to delve into when Patience might be on screen soon.

Dean "yes ma'am"'d Missouri because everything is awful, because he'd "yes sir" John and oh god. Ow.

Jody is watching like "what the hell sort of dynamic have I missed here?"

She has been taking notes on these boys for years and she still doesn't know anything about them. I was thinking the other day watching 5x15 that when she meets them they're in Fed get up and they bluster at her like they're the authorities when she first challenges them, until she calls Bobby and sees through it and calls their crap. But something something defensive retreat into surface level clam shell around Jody, re: she had no idea Dean went to Purgatory, was a demon, or that Mary had come back to life, just for STARTERS.

I wonder if Missouri commenting on the car was a tie back to John as well specifically in her alignment. This season is all about fathers and without an actual John for Dean to deal with, bringing Missouri back as a John figure... eep

Meanwhile Jack is still squinting at a pencil and calling himself useless, so I think Sam is about to climb on his back and make him run through a swamp while beating him with a stick

(dear god I hope every single one of you has watched Empire Strikes Back)

Jack's catchphrase is "I don't -" he just doesn't understand. He doesn't KNOW.

Asmodeus was "in his head"

Holy shit and then Sam suggests Jack try that and Jack snaps back at him because HOLY SHIT SAM CAN YOU HEAR HOW BAD THIS SOUNDS?

You really can't, because you think you are doing a good thing but USB STICK, SAM. USB STICK.

Asmodeus was a master manipulator who made Jack want to do a thing so badly and used all the right words to make him do exactly what he wanted. Sam is nice enough not to brainwash Jack like see the pencil, be the pencil dramatics... But asking Jack to remember one of his many traumatic experiences? Noooo don't do it.

This is a very bad plan, Sam.

Anyway also Jack confirms how Asmodeus manipulated him and shows his innocence and also his feelings on what happened - how horrible it was for him to go through it, and, well, he was 3 days old and he got tricked and he has no emotional touchstones to handle this sort of thing :(

And Sam is just being way too rigorous - we take a break, he gets some food, then he'll come back and we try again? Nooo Sam.

(btw I have to say I have been saying over and over that Berens writes my favourite Sam, and this is indeed Berens making Sam absolutely fascinating, although I have to repeat, as a totally flawed and messed up person. No one was ever there for Sam to guide him through what he could do. He didn't even know how he moved that wardrobe the one time he did telekinesis... He's completely lost and trying to handle this alone and with a lot to prove because Dean's snapped at him and stormed off, and he wants Mary back... He's being like Dean - angry and taking it out on Jack - but in Sam's chill, deep under the surface way, and of course like Dean can spare smiles and hugs for Jody and Missouri, he still can have a kind and well-meaning surface layer just like Dean can have a happy one. But bring on the frustration and he slips and says the wrong things and now he's acting like a strict teacher....)

Jack's face that was cast to be both perfectly scowly and perfectly cute is now being used to be very scary and scowly.

OH NO MISSOURI!!!

She was badass and defiant to the end but it's still sad and we knew it was coming because, well... I swear there was spoiler chatter that Patience and Missouri would meet, but I suppose it's more like Patience is going to find out about her grandma and have to learn about her that way...

I mean the whole point of Wayward Sisters so far has been Jody collecting orphaned girls and she has a living father and until this point Missouri, so she has to end up in a way where Jody is now the only guiding light she has

but bleeeeeeeh.

ANYWAY like passing the baton, we get the last scene of Missouri (making a stand) and move to Patience.

HELLO NEW MAIN CHARACTER

She's a neeeerd

I love her

She is good at volleyball because she's psychic

heee wonder woman comparison. Blah blah meta from when Dean owned being wonder woman.

Her athletic friend looks nerdy and she describes her as being a bookworm athlete because Patience looks cool and athletic (she's very tall or her friend is short...) so there's 2 false binaries here: the nerd and athlete one where you can only be one or another. Her friend with the massive glasses and fringe (bangs?) is nerd-coded. And Patience carrying around her files but secretly being good at sports is the direct opposite... I like this imagery, no prizes for guessing where else I apply it :P

All the lights are flickering... It would be hilarious if SHE was causing it, just because monsters don't do that...

I think she is having a vision.

OH it was a dream, cool. (We're really expanding what psychics can do all of a sudden, because we're about to send 2 of them off into Wayward Sisters. If Kaia and Patience can hang out in dreams, that would be AWESOME. I bet visiting Patience's dream landscape once she has her powers under control would be amazing, if 8x08 and Fred's inner mind is anything to go off of :P)

Also OH NO poor Missouri. She's used her death as an omen for Patience, like, basically just because her father won't talk to her. I mean talk about spite, she's right in the John Winchester model of family, like, well guess I'll just DIE then, and get Patience to deal with this for me :P

Getting back to those flashing lights, also, even though it was just a dream, I do think it was interesting because Jack blew all those lights. I think it's a sign of losing control as much as a display of power - if we go from 4x01 and Cas doing it, it was just because raw power on display. In 13x01 for Jack it's both that and loss of control. For Patience it's the sign of the supernatural creeping up on her but also she loses control of her dream environment and Missouri invades it to send her the warning...

James has something on his screen about crude oil. He's probably like a stocks and shares guy or something. This house is ridiculous. Patience is going to be the rich kid on the team, and probably adjusting to the gross gritty life of being a hunter :P

Ooh she did recognise Missouri - so the contact wasn't broken off THAT long ago.... I say remembering how I thought she hadn't changed at all since season 1 :P

James doesn't give anything away about her phoning like, yesterday. He looks baaad about it.

Don't lie to kids about their powers and heritage...

I say side-eyeing Sam for not getting into the exact thing with Lucifer I was blah-ing on about at the top of this episode. Which is probably not helping Jack understand and control his powers

Oh noooo Dean at a Gas n Sip

hearing about the murder on the TV OH NO

I got to ask why it's night at the fortune teller's and day where Dean is.

Singer directed this and I'm up to 3 boo boos of the wraith not being in the mirror, the phone breaking the story, and the wrong time of day in the footage on TV so I'm just gonna side eye and move on. Maybe he's having an off week when he made this or something because when he's not directing Eugenie's scripts he's normally competent.

Knock Knock hello James

Wait, Dean has got massively more scruffy between scenes.

HE HAS - I WENT BACK AND LOOKED

Is this a continuity about them driving all night?

I am loving the look. Gimme more of the season 9 look Dean.

They are kinda treating James like he knows and cares about monsters, when really he's a stock guy with a fancy house. Wrong approach, but telling the absolute truth. Dean, again, not sugar coating it. Jody has to step in and help with comforting sounding words about the truth. She, also, doesn't even mention she's a cop and is acting very much as Dean's partner on the hunt rather than a cop.

Patieeence. At school with her friend, who is badgering her about hot boys. Patience relucantly says okay fine he's hot. *wonders exactly how gay she is* Probably not with a huuuge crush on her friend but we'll see :P No one can be that "ugh" about the entire concept.

Patiiiience. She's been ACTIVATED.

The fact she had a couple of pencils sticking out of something in her locker just makes me think that over on the other side of the story Sam is trying to activate Jack's powers via a pencil.

AAAH

HAHAHAHA She's awesome!!!

And she snaps the gross wraith spike off with like 0% of the fuss Dean made.

I LOVE the shot of Dean rushing down the stairs to follow the wraith... I also love that Jody is now united with Patience, and she's gonna glom onto her and drag her into her spiiiiin offffffffff

After all the fuss I'm making that better get picked up or I'm rioting.

Dean nearly gets hit by a blue van - hey, monsters in blue vans? 8x18, that time when Dean was like "what, my feelings????" when Sam asked him how he was, and then there was that creepy Metatron sweater dude being a terrible stand-in father for Krissy in like the dark timeline version of what Wayward Sisters is promising to become.

Bah Dean shaved again... Get the continuity together!!

Ohh no Patience thinks Missouri doesn't caaare... She ditched her after her mom died? heeeey-o John parallels where he emotionally ditched them after Mary died. Only this leads to Patience growing up with no idea about her powers... Except she has been unnerved enough by her deja vu to sound like she's researched it on wikipedia and reassured herself that hey this happens to everyone...

Well if she's not queer she's certainly having one hell of a metaphor journey :P

HOLY SHIT SAM. He put Jack in that table because there's a SECRET CAMERA

you know what Sam has done? Once he knew the BMOL put cameras in the bunker, he's gone and found their wifi and he's got into it with undefined magic hacking powers they all have and he's using Ketch's surveillance for his own purposes now.

Look. You mean well. You're reading the sort of parenting book for psychic kids you never had yourself (love it) but this is creepy! You shouldn't be spying on Jack!!!!

Sam has boundary issues with his magic nephew, more news at 10

I know I know he's just concerned and worried and wants to do the right thing but he's not got any frame of reference for how to emotionally nurture someone. It's a MIRACLE and testament to his nature that he's come out anything like as sweet as he did. But oh boy this is bad. You can't just come running in yelling because Jack moved out of sight because now Sam has betrayed that he was watching Jack or WHY WOULD HE COME RUNNING IN IN SUCH A PANIC?

Jack's starting to sound done with everything and I love my Nougat child who likes sitting in dark corners.

He's not sitting cross-legged this time, it's much more like how Sam found him in 12x23

I think Jack seeks out dark shadowy places to lurk

His voice has literally changed to be more gravelly

OH NO JACK NOOOOOOOOO

HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL, YOU PRECIOUS CHILD

But Dean thinks he'll be evil and Sam has surveillance set up on him...

Oh dear god let this be the Berens Speech of the episode that makes me weep openly

OH NO NOUGAT

He's got all his comparisons to live up to but he doesn't have his angel watching over him!!!

I said earlier that's a bad comparison for Jack to treat him as his father AND that phrase needs to be hauled out and torn to shreds, but I think some short term guardian angeling will probably be good for Jack and maybe even Cas depending on how he feels when he gets back... I almost trust this season to treat that relationship slowly and carefully since they're being so absolutely on the nose with character development stuff being spelled out.

Sam's doing the "listen" thing and sitting down... Can you get to Jack?

SAY THE THING

Oh gosh he apologised for pressuring Jack

I didn't think that would work

I should yell at the screen more

HE WANTS TO FIND A BETTER WAY

AND THEN HE TOOK JACK'S HAND AND HAULED HIM TO HIS FEET

OH YEAH HERE IT IS "I know what it feels like -" THAT WAS PART 2 OF "SAY THE THING"

AHAHA STOP MAKING SAM CRY, BERENS, YOU MONSTER

It makes me cry

"Dean, Cas - my family helped me through" NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE FUCK OFF BERENS

"you're not evil, Jack" THANKS SAM, THOUGH

Meanwhile: Jody and Dean awkwardly stand next to each other while Patience has a Family Moment.

Dean's connection to Missouri goes so far back that Patience has to mean something to him in the sense that omg this is Missouri's family... However she treated Dean (and kinda scared him i think :P) he has an investment in them because Missouri was there at a bloody awful time for him, and she was helpful and good to them (and he has no idea she was lying about John the whole time - tbh the fact that she can see stuff that happened in a scene pretty much just confirms to me that what we DIDN'T see was that the first time John met her he took her to the nursery and BAM she sees the scene from 2x21 that Azazel showed Sam of the demon blood and she's like... ah.)

(pls refer to my pre-wayward sisters watching notes for actual thoughts on that :P I got super rambly and i'm not going over it AGAIN)

OH NO James grew up having total faith in her powers and then she said what James wanted to hear and told him the better news either making a mistake or doing EXACTLY WHAT WE SAW HER DO in her introductory seconds... Temporary help to alleviate pain but in the end - well, that guy's wife was still banging the gardener whether he knew it or not and one way or another he might find out...)

UGH Missouri what did you do.

OH NO JAMES HAS DEAN'S BACKSTORY OF HIS PARENT ON THE ROAD HUNTING MONSTERS

Remember when I said I hated the Dean Smith life he made for himself? I HATE IT SO MUCH

I went to vent at Mittens about this and she told me she has been comparing Patience to Kev and James to Linda and that's another extremely awful way to look at all this :D

"I didn't want that life for you" I think it's interesting that James managed to put it all behind him SO effectively, especially if he's somewhat psychic himself (I BET IT HELPS WITH TRADING SHARES, IF IT HELPS WITH VOLLEYBALL. JUST SAYING)... He's basically done what both John and Mary repeatedly said especially in the context of Sam and just letting him go to school and live a life. Patience has got that - so far - but lo and behold it all catches up.

Aaaand James chooses to run again.

Like, it sucks, but "use her as bait and kill the wraith" is generally the better tactic when it comes to just confronting your problems. And the horror genre is ALWAYS about confronting those inner problems. In this case the wraith going specifically after the psychics in the family is blatantly a metaphor for this catching up and James no longer being able to pretend this isn't what his family is all about. I would say it's targeted at his decisions and Patience's awakening - a vision is one thing, an attack BECAUSE she had it seals the deal and makes it impossible to ignore.

And if James runs again, he only puts the problem behind them, to try and live normally but... Patience has already been changed by this encounter and Missouri's awakening.

Awwwwwwww nooooooooo flashback.

She's so SMOL.

This is all the perfect sort of emotional manipulation to get me completely attached to her.

I'm trying not to meta too much between The Man Pain and Patience's story (she's the POV character of WS I think? I mean I desperately want her to be, as the new character to the dynamic aside from Kaia who's being introduced later as a part of Claire's story - and I think I saw one comment somewhere in the PR and completely latched onto it) but there is something about James saying that Missouri's influence is poison and Patience learning to be psychic is something he desperately wants to avoid, and the parallel story with Jack also discovering his powers. Patience thankfully only seems to have Sam-like visions and will probably have Missouri's skill set (i mean sheesh this might not be a memory but a vision but in this case it's almost impossible to tell apart for Patience except that maybe this is literally the clarity of what she's remembering on screen :P) - I think it works better in the present day, that the adults are all here to weigh in on what Patience can be.

I think Missouri appearing in flashes mirrors Kelly to Jack, since he's not getting anything from Cas at the moment, so she's the beacon of someone who truly believes in Patience, and there was a sort of powers birth transfer awakening thing in the way Missouri dies and Patience gets her first strong vision that she can't shake off as deja vu.

Dean said that Missouri reads objects so Patience is probably getting this vision off the brooch, tbh.

This hazy memory is probably actually circa like... season 2 or something, if Patience is supposed to be school aged NOW and the show is THIRTEEN YEARS OLD so if she's like... 5... that's season 1 or 2, if she's roughly supposed to be 18

I am not good at maths btw feel free to call this out

That kid REALLY looks like young Patience, in that creepy SPN casting directors way

OH GOSH the vision parallels not just to Kelly but Missouri will always look out for her, and that's very much like Angels Are Watching Over You

AAAAAH HE GRABBED PATIENCE

put it back.jpg

Is James going to use his own secrit powers he's been repressing the entire time and find her?

HE'S GONNA USE HIS PSYCHIC POWERS TO FIND PATIENCE

Bless this entire metaphor of repression being overcome and accessing the true parts of yourself.

Is this the same creepy set that Cas once stabbed a demon in that time when he was looking for something or other? I can't even remember if that was season 10 or 11 or what he was looking for, but a gif of him wandering around doing The Eyebrow is common enough on my dash I don't forget that it happened :P

Oh great he basically has super wraith powers because he drinks people with super powers.

Stupid creepy wraith

Leave her alone!!!!!!!!!

LOL

"first: gross" I love her.

NOOOOO JAMES

You were just starting to be cool

Wait is she having a vision, because Jody should probably not be dead right now if she has a spin off to be playing around in:P

I bet Dean's about to killed too

Yep

owie, that was embarrassing for him

He's super off his game if he lets himself get killed THAT EASILY

This was super metaphoric on so many levels though - once I know what happens with James I should get back to that, but Jody symbolically being killed and she's moving on to another property with her flock of girls, and DEAN, getting symbolically super killed like stabby stabby stabby, make it look good for the next time they have to recap how often they all die on this show.. :P But yeah, even just showing him dying is fascinating, especially with the context of how he's feeling.

And oh no Mittens pointed out he's not just off his game but if he saw Jody being dead, that's all his worst fears, and ANOTHER dead friend on his hands, and he did specifically come here to protect her, in his words. :<

I love the 2nd version of this. The new fight coordinator guy is really showing off. I type in the instant Dean grabs the rope because improvised weapons are a thing now :P

I should probably dig up that meta about veils between worlds because even if Dean didn't die he just got shoved through like 100 hanging sheets and that is ridiculously symbolic.

Nice one, Dean.

LOL his face. "welp, killed that guy"

I feel like there was a Moment there. Like maybe he thought hunting would make him feel something but -

oh no

HE'S SCRUFFY AGAIN

I feel attacked by the bad continuity but the fact that the bad continuity is because Dean's apparently due some grief scruff

"You handled that wraith! Guess you still got it!!"

*dean pauses* *stares into the nihilistic dark void consuming his soul*

"guess so"

I hate this

PATIENCE

Snuggly hoodie is snuggly. I wanna hug her

"Thank you, for everything" that phraaase nooo

James thinks she should put her gift away and get back to normal... But she has a spin off to go to.

NOO DEAN DO NOT DO A IN THIS LIFE SPEECH

I HAAATE THIS

elizabethrobertajones WHAT THE FUCK HE'S SCRUFFY AGAIN I'm phoning the continuity guy how do I find his number Dean's scruff has been coming and going all episode :P

mittensmorgul wait where are you?

elizabethrobertajones Dean's broken pls help him this must be the scene they wanted the scruff for and he showed up on day 1 of filming clean shaven and they were like... Jensen... no

mittensmorgul HAHAHA

elizabethrobertajones Dean's gotta talk about how everything sucks and he wants to just go live on the beach in a house made of sticks and you need at least 5mm of scruff for that speech

mittensmorgul oh no...

Anyway Dean and James agree - Patience should go live in her house and they should exploit their skills only for shares and volleyball. Dean is utterly, utterly defeated and he hates the job and it's the worst and everyone you love will die and you just have to kill monsters all day and it's not even FUN...

please help him

YAY JODY

"you don't have to listen to him" because guess who is NOT THE BOSS OF US ON THE WAYWARD SISTERS SHOW?

That's right, The Man Pain(TM)

Jody you absolute beacon of sunshine and love and accepting yourself. She can see Dean's broken and spoke out of turn to what Patience might need in his own grief (and I think that must parallel to Sam's treatment of Jack somewhat although thankfully they resolved it back to a functioning relationship already) so she offers her an alternative.

OH NO and she refers to Claire as a sort of daughter

haaalp

And she's so sad she couldn't keep Claire safe against her nature to be a hunter.

And Jody OBLITERATES repression completely. Go be gay with the Wayward Sisters. :D

"You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable"

I love you Berens.

And Jody recruits another avenger :D

*glares at my tables tag* Sam is sitting alone in the dark at the war room table, exactly like the end of 9x06. Sometimes being right about the sneaky imagery the show uses feels so pointless because, well, I'm right, but to what purpose does this serve? The tables tag will never bring me glory in battle :P

Mittens just warned me to squish Taako for the rest of this scene so I'm in hug mode.

"How's the kid, did he go darkside yet?" "nooope."

I mean I'm using Sam's line as a reaction gif forever but OW.

Is Sam gonna call Dean out on what he's been saying about Jack? I scared.

"He's messed up because of you"

... uuh. Again. I'm gonna stop asking Berens for the next line of dialogue because i feel like I'm in that gameshow where they are trying to finish a phrase and I'm just asking for all the right letters while thinking I know what the phrase is and I am scared about what that phrase is.

And Sam is playing with the rings on the table, which Lucifer once did, and Sam did a few times in season 12 when things were HAIRY.

He fidgets when he is upset with his family.

"You think you can USE this freak"

I'm SHAKING. DEAN, NO. STOP TALKING IMMMMMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW.

I stand by that Sam has a dodgy approach to Jack but fuck that entire concept that Dean just aired, we're getting into Open Warfare in the fandom between the Sam n Dean factions, I can tell. Like... the only question is is this going to be worse than Sam Hit A Dog or In The Same Situation I Wouldn't, or both on top of each other?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JACK IS THERE

Dean is wearing a black henley and Jack is wearing a white one I HATE IT

"I didn't end bad" OH WE ARE GOING THERE

WE ARE SO GOING THERE

Sam's been going there since Dean said "freak" because i have recently rewatched enough of season 1-4 to screeech when Dean said it.

And here's the season 2 thing back again

OH SHIT

Dean no

NO.

He's saying ALL THE THINGS AND HE SHOULD NOT BE SAYING THEEEEM

(I mean... healthy communication and the truth? But like... not doing it at top volume in front of the kid??)

NO THE CAS THING

THIS IS THE SAME FACE AS 9x22 WHEN DEAN SAID IT WAS A DICTATORSHIP

CAAAASSSSSS

HI BABE

Wakey wakey

Okay I had to go to dinner and I took my laptop down and made my mum extremely sad

I noticed a couple of other things on the next pass through, mostly sneaky dialogue repeats that I can't remember

but pass 2 through that last argument anyway because I was rushing it

Oh teardrops in the bead curtain at Dede's place, because grief. More passing through veils too.

The 9x06 parallel because Sam has a pencil for Jack, and it's a different room in the Bunker but weird shades of them keeping Crowley there, at least on the negative side of how they're treating Jack. Not a true parallel - different room and they're not asking him to write anything down, and Jack is doubling as Kevin.

Thinking of doubles - Patience framed as having 2 consciences about whether she becomes a wayward sister or not in Dean vs Jody - very much like Jack having dual father issues. Jody says "don't listen to him" for the negative example and wafts it away with love and she's gonna keep Patience :3

Also I thought of like 18 more reasons why I love Patience while I was watching

So, 3rd pass through this argument... WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF

Sam confronting Dean is again something where the episode establishes a mixed sort of approach but overall he has a GOOD approach to Jack and the best he's getting at the moment. Dean calling out Sam for using Jack THAT loudly and angrily instead of gently critiquing his methods and asking Sam if he'd care if Jack couldn't get Mary back - that's something Jack can't overhear right now but super needs to.

Of course, Dean is the Worst Parent but he hasn't signed up for that role. He still has an influence over Jack and is too super pissed off to see Jack - and Jack is behind a wall, which takes us to Berens and 12x22 and the wall between Dean and Mary. Dean can't see Jack for what he is and that means he's saying all the wrong things and not even able to reach out to parent him.

Jack basically wakes Cas up to get him back so he can have a non-yelling parent who will be uncomplicatedly good and the angel who watches over him.

(More on that dynamic once they interact a bit)

The fact Sam summons the spectre of John to tell Dean that he told him to put a bullet in Sam... Of course Dean can refute what John said and that Sam deserves to be saved which is lovely but you know. Awful argument. Not really the time for that sentiment :P Dean can see Sam - knows and trusts him like no one else in the universe; even Cas in some respects, because Cas is complicated and it's always so messy, that he keeps on giving Cas trust but Cas leaves or does stuff Dean doesn't approve of, and Sam is generally easier for him to deal with...

(Also the complicated feelings about Cas)

Sam goes and demolishes that this is about Mary. That Dean might be SAD about her and losing her but that he knows as well as Sam that she's gone because she went into that fight willingly, to protect them.

Cas, on the other hand, Dean absolutely can't see past. Dean's *entire* problem with Jack is because he lost Cas. Because he looks at Jack and sees dead Cas. Sam can explain how Mary chose to punch Lucifer right in the face (hehe) in some easy steps, but Dean then spells out his perception on what happened to Cas because of Jack.

I am so not over how the only time I've seen Dean this angry with Sam is in 9x22 and he yells right in his face and - GAH. I mean he's been angry with him before but it was a cold, sad or defeated anger, usually with tears involved. This is wide eyed, crazed, Mark of Cain Dean, who then walked around the corner and flipped back to a smooshy smile because Cas was there.

And this fight is taking place in almost the same space of turf as that argument, because heeey war room where the wars take place.

At this point, after "you might be able to forget about that, but I can't", I am pretty sure that Destiel has just gone horrifically canon in like the worst possible way, that Dean calls out the difference in their feelings about Cas.

It's literally putting on the table "is sam a dick or does dean just love cas in a special kind of way"

and dear god, Sam is not a dick.

Sam is amazing.

But not as much as Misha Collins who got a special card with his name on and "starring" above it, just for opening his eyes and sitting up.

#my stuff #13x03 #season 13 spoilers #i'm just saying if you have to google 'does everyone feel like this' about something you're probably gay #even if it's a metaphor and you don't have a clue if deja vu works like that #reblog if you're gay and get deja vu a lot

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