#that I'm never gonna be able to fully become an adult and actually enjoy life as an adult and I'll miss out on everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sevicia · 4 months

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I 🩷 whining & bitching & moaning

yk how yesterday I was the one who ended up giving Mila the pill? well my sister's awake now and decided she was gonna do it (didn't even ask me) while I handed her treats and it took a bunch of tries too. & I don't think I would've gotten it 1st try either, but I know exactly how it goes when I wanna do something she doesn't think I'm capable of: she just doesn't let me do it. it's happened time & time again so I didn't even ask this time cause literally what's the point .....

everyone in my house constantly infantilizes me and genuinely seems to believe I can't do anything by myself. I'm going to a thing from uni about 1st year students (such as me) familiarizing themselves w/ the school campus & other introductory activities on Tuesday & my mom really anxiously told me we (her & I) should try to go to uni before that just so I'd know how to get there, when the route I have to take is literally just home -> bus stop -> metro -> get off -> walk 5 min in a straight line. I told her no, that I would be fine just getting there by myself on Tuesday and she reluctantly agreed.

+ a few days ago I overhead my dad talking about gifting me some money for some reason I'm not sure about, and my sister very seriously told him to just give it to our mom instead so she'd manage it for me, and he agreed. Her argument was that I'd just spend it too quickly which I understand cause I did that all the time when I was in highschool. Which was 3 years ago.

IDK like even when I try to do something I'm usually not capable of doing (mainly cooking), I'll ask a bunch of questions to make sure I'm doing it right to the point they get annoyed w/ me & just do it themselves like "you're too nervous just be more confident and do it already" meanwhile whenever I did things "confidently" in the past I always managed to fuck them up somehow and then get treated like I'm stupid and no one has made the connection that maybe when you constantly tell someone they're stupid while they're trying something new, they'll just stop trying .... ? because they don't want to be called stupid .... ?

It's also made me actually really adverse to try anything by myself cause I find I start thinking "someone else's gonna do it and even if I tried I'd just make it worse", but I don't feel that way when I'm home alone / away from home, it's literally just when I know I'm being judged by people who know me and are around me all the time

& when I manage to get something right I sometimes get praised but most of the time it's just "well you should've been able to do that a long time ago!" and like I know that it's true and that I'm not a dog that should get a treat for every new trick he learns but I just don't want it to be dismissed like that yk .... like just tell me "good job" or smth

I also think getting treated like a child all the time really makes my perception of myself as inherently unattractive / underisable a lot worse because I've just started to believe that everyone sees me as a kid so no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me ykwim ? the fact that I'm relatively short doesn't help either

the way I get treated like a stupid child while also having adult expectations put on me is always so confusing, like I'm being pulled in 10 different directions and I enjoy none of them

+ I feel like even MORE of a brat for even complaining about this in the first place cause I've heard people say "man I WISH I had someone who did everything for me" and it just makes me feel horrible bc maybe I should be grateful that they care & worry about me so much and I'm just whining over nothing again

"how are you gonna survive when I'm gone ?!?!" from my mom and "you'll literally just die the second you move out" from my sister and "don't even try, it's too dangerous" from my dad and I just keep quiet because I can't even prove them wrong because they're not wrong. I CAN'T do anything by myself and I AM slow at everything (which is just me trying to avoid calling myself stupid) and I AM lazy and have no common sense.

maybe this is the reason most of my daydreams consist of me being like 30 and living on my own lol

#diary #long post #well when I was like 15 I was in my mid-twenties inside the daydream / fantasy #but I'm already 20 so I don't think that's gonna pan out.#and being realistic it's probably not gonna happen even after I'm 30and I'm trying to accept that #that I'm never gonna be able to fully become an adult and actually enjoy life as an adult and I'll miss out on everything #the same way I never did anything when I was a teen #I hate it when I start whining like this but I feel safer posting it here cause at least I can't see anyone roll their eyes at me #+ I hate the way I always blow things out of proportion.#I never know if what I'm feeling bad about is THAT serious or if it actually happened how I remember it I just doubt myself so much

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inchidentally · 16 days

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I've got a few asks that are all actually roughly under the same umbrella in terms of my replies - and be aware I've had to get way more serious then usual so pls skip if you're not here for that <3

mmmmm yea you can feel as you want anon but I personally am not going to want to parallel that relationship with Oscar and Lily's. my main cause when it comes to wives and girlfriends is that they all deserve to be protected against rampant, casual misogyny in fandom spaces. but also to not to project any reflected good will onto her boyfriend or husband simply because he's the boyfriend or husband. and there's so much about the 2000s drivers that makes me hope that at least some of their behavior isn't being carried on with the current younger guys on the grid :///

also just as a reminder: I was raised by intersectional feminists and I've witnessed what even supposedly "loving" het relationships can do to people who identify as women* - so I'm never going to be rooting for heterosexual relationships as far as women are concerned. I'm not overly prejudiced and I fully support any woman's choices for herself - and I don't have the smallest delusion that I have a right to an opinion on those choices <3 but equally I'm not going to lie to myself that women don't statistically always lose or sacrifice something of themselves when they become a partner to a man and that the man loses and sacrifices nothing - and if he makes the most basic effort he's praised as a god among men. especially not a man who's career has and will always take priority over his relationship and especially if the woman has to navigate or alter her life to deal with the man's profession, public image or his fanbase. I will always want women to pursue life on their own terms without men in any way dragging them down or altering their lives - that's just my opinion and it's fine if others disagree or hopefully project onto those relationships for any reason. so far, to me, the only driver's relationships that seem at all truly balanced and not negatively affecting or requiring compromises of the women that the man doesn't have to repay, are Lily and Alex and Melissa and Nando - and while I don't know much about them probably Tiffany and Valtteri. those women were already fully adults when they met these guys and would be able to leave the relationships whenever they want without having their own individual lives and incomes affected or altered in any way. I do not see any excuse for a woman to be in a relationship in any other way or with any further sacrifice and especially not because of a man, who will always enjoy economic and social power above hers.

*I know this is a whole unique point but as far as I'm concerned identifying as a woman is how I'm referring to women at any time. TERFs DNI.

ok so I've heavily edited these next two bc my blog is not the place to get into All That and I don't want to bring stress and negativity to moots

I think the funniest part of this rumor is how everyone's been asking for a screen recording of this and absolutely no one can produce anything other than one screencap of Rebecca at one brief time offering subscription content with no explanation for what - and that was something all models and influencers did for a while to make some money when a bunch of platforms screwed over their engagement. everyone's just running with this as if it's anyting and wtfff you're saying all she was offering were 'pictures of Carlos from the back' LIKE BFFR what are y'all even saying here ??? who was being robbed what crime was committed how is this even worth remembering ??? the reach being rought!!

but on the serious side, I'm gonna need all of you to sit yourselves in a quiet place and start taking this spontaneous and erratic morality that magically shows up when women are involved and start actually applying it to your pookie bears in F1. because not only does Carlos and the rest of the grid exploit the media, fans and sponsorships for cash, gifts, engagement and popularity - they also endorse and personally directly fund and engage with entire companies and individuals who actively perpetuate and uphold the absolute gutter of amorality and social iniquity that is the foundation of this whole sport !!

like here you guys are hunting for any tiny scrap of something to further the prejudice that these wives and girlfiends are not your ideas of Perfect Pure Sainted Angels - meanwhile you're looking at hugely problematic words and actions from your favorite driver and literally assuming that they've suddenly "had a change of heart" or are "better people now" based on ???? nothing ???? and THEN you start hoping that the girlfriend or wife is "good for him" or that she won't "be bad for him" I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind since when does a girl or woman over the age of 15 think that rich, powerful white men in hugely problematic fields of work are the ones being cruelly corrupted by the women they personally choose to date ??? if these men are shitheads then they did it all on their own babes !!

and I have to assume that even die hard Carlos fans on here are aware of how he's very much not perfect and that anyone sensible has to admit that unless he made the decision to publicly and loudly make a statement to the contrary then all of his opinions and affiliations are the same. you can absolutely compartmentalize these guys - we all do! - in order to like certain things about them or engage in content about them, but nobody should be out here so woman-hating as to take nothing of substance and use it to award these men virtues that have no foundation in reality. all while vilifying their wives and girlfriends over literally the smallest thing or making the most tenuous of connections to try and prove why they shouldn't be with your fave guy. or because while the men can fuck and cheat all they want, you've decided the women they date or marry have to conform to regressive ideas of female purity.

(just to clarify, the stuff I'm referring to "men" or "drivers" as doing is not specifically referring to Carlos or one man in particular but about the wider issue of double standards between drivers and their girlfriends and wives)

so a wife or gf of a man with an all-consuming career that involves her altering her life and plans to go all over the world just to be with him, decides to do exactly what he does and utilize a fanbase and popularity for gain? suddenly she's an evil conniving witch capable of manipulating and controlling poor widdle rich, white, powerful, influential man !! even though he dumps women and cheats on women whenever he wants and doesn't face a single bit of criticism for fans' perceptions of problems in his relationships but oh he's just a helpless hard-working victim who is nobly doing his dream job that his one percenter family and/or social status and/or race and gender made completely effortless for him and how DARE his wife or girlfriend get any of the financial benefit from a field of sports where women are so hated that even the most powerful woman is publicly accused by the highest authority in the sport of collusion based on nothing more than one gossip columnists lie !!

I could go so fucking far about how the women these men date and marry have been socially groomed from birth to be beautiful and silently supportive of their man and told they're not good enough or smart enough to succeed in a "serious" business environment - and that the drivers conveniently always end up with beautiful women who suffer at the hands of his fans who blame women for how men treat them all while he says nothing so as not to upset his base of support - then fuck it, let them all sell you people subscriptions for pictures of the drivers! let them scrape even a tiny fraction off the top of this imbalanced and unfair socioeconomic dynamic compared to the huge, unearned kickbacks and handshakes that make these men so effortlessly successful and rich. you can see those subscriptions as payment on your part for spreading rumors and hate about women and using double standards.

the rich famous man will NOT change his life to either fit your rpf ship - or to stay single so that you can continue your parasocial relationship with him uninterrupted - or choose a woman based on who you deem to be an appropriate self-insert. no matter how many rumors you believe or spread or how often you post content hating on his partner, his choice will not be affected by you. so keep those delusions and misogyny to yourself - or at least away from my blog and inbox !

honestly anon, I've already known the content of all of your messages over the past few months and I'm choosing the least offensive one for a reason to post (edited ofc so no one can accuse me of slander or whatever)

listen: if I was at all saying that Carlos is unproblematic or publicly promoting him in any way then I'd absolutely deserve what you're saying. but for myself personally, Carlos is part of am f1blr specific hyperfixation where I stay on my blog and write stupid narratives using drivers for fun. I'm not contributing anything to his overall fanbase or giving him any of my financial or personal support. I stick to fandom spaces only and not any platform that the drivers or anyone in wider F1 circles use.

and the thing is that not only would it be putting the burden of his problematicness on me if I were to post your asks bc I alone would have to answer for them, it would also probably just be informing people of what's fully and easily available to find elsewhere. everyone I mutually follow and most people I see are fully aware that we're taking these men and for the most part using them for our own fanon rather than their actual reality. so for me to pick one driver and say look at these awful realities then I'd have to do that with all of them, including the drivers who are at all friendly with known problematic drivers and people. so while I totally understand if someone wants to kick all of F1 out of their fandom experience bc Men then jfc absolutely go for it. I'm not at all pretending that what I'm doing on my blog is worth the smallest shit! but me deciding to pick one driver out of all of them to put on blast would do nothing but make me a hypocrite and rightfully have people asking me why I don't talk about this or that driver too.

and quite frankly unless someone never supports with any male-majority content and solely focuses all of their time to intersectional feminist content then there ain't a leg to stand on to blast any other fanbase or focus on one particular person. it's fully fair to be critical! but not to get on a high horse if there's even one cishet man in your list of fandom things. honestly that could even be broadened in some cases to one cis man.

absolutely, take the truth to people who are out there on public platforms trying to claim that any of these drivers are saints and perfect humans where they could potentially be recruiting to a fanbase using false narratives and covering up problematic behavior. but ask yourself if you're time is best spent mostly attacking women and girls in fanbases over this or going right to the comments and tags that squarely target the men themselves.

but on here I've got to kind of assume we all know what the score is and nobody's in denial that these are mere Rich Powerful Men and none of them deserves our actual serious allegiance yk ??? I feel like we're all aware this is us having fun and we're all accepting that while we can block and blacklist tags based on personal preferences, none of us in f1blr who likes a male driver can pretend to be superior to liking a different one. at best they're better at keeping their mouths shut but they also permit and overlook a LOT. and yes, that includes Lewis even though my god he has a gigantic lead on the rest in terms of progressive actions and deeds compared to any other man in F1. and that while he still has unaddressed problematic associations and behavior, all of us white fans need to be fucking vigilant of going after him if we're not fully going ten times harder on the white drivers.

#inchreplies #I am exhausted lol #I'm mostly a stupid so this is my brain done for the day !!#I hope everything makes sense I rly spent time on these since the topics actually matter #wank adjacent #f1partnerstalk

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ponds-puddle · 3 years

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Threats ~{Shinsou}~ (6/??)

words: 1404

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long. Some of you may have seen that post that I made about my dog, and I'm thankful to say that she was able to get her surgery and she (as of yesterday) is fully recovered and happy. Thank you guys so much for waiting! Here's part 6!

“If you do not put that down right now I will throw this at you,” you threatened Shinsou from across the island in your kitchen. He was on the opposite side holding your journal. He laughed maniacally, waving the little book around. In all honesty he had no intention to read it. He picked it up while cleaning off the table and loved the way you dove at him in an attempt to get it away from him. After a ten minute chase around the island, you settled on opposite sides with your choice of weapons. His was your book and yours… Well yours was a flower vase.

“You’re so violent!” he laughed loudly, acting as if he wasn’t the least bit intimidated. Though after seeing the sheer determination and force of your dive to get it away from him, he was actually slightly scared you’d throw it.

“And you’re annoying! Put it down!”

“Or what?” he teased.

“This vase is made out of granite, wanna test me?”

Shinsou thought for a moment, looking between you and the vase. After a second he slowly placed the book on the counter and threw his hands up in surrender.

“God,” he laughed as you snatched the book like a crazed goblin, “You’re kinda terrifying.”

“Yeah and don’t forget it,” you threatened as you walked to your room to hide the book.

When you returned to the kitchen, Shinsou was delicately chopping ingredients for the dinner the two of you had bought. It had become a sort of tradition now. Every week you would go out to get groceries and Shinsou would accompany you. Afterwards you would hole up in your house, cooking and binging shows. The two of you would play a round of rock/paper/scissors to see who would have the honors of picking the show. This has been going on for three weeks now and Shinsou never got to pick a show. Though you suspect that he’s losing on purpose. He likes The Vampire Diaries, he just won’t admit it.

“What’s so secret about that book?” he asked you without looking up.

You made a face at him, one that screamed “did you get dropped as a baby?”

“I went through all of that and you think that I’m gonna come out here and tell you exactly what I was trying to keep you from reading?”

Shinsou stopped chopping and looked up at you, “One, attitude. Two, you’re right.”

“Exa-”

“So I’ll just guess.”

“No,” you deadpanned.

“Your secret family recipes?”

Silence.

“A detailed list of everyone you’ve ever killed?”

“Woah that escalated, you weirdo.”

“Ah but I got an answer from that one!”

“Point taken, no more replies.”

You walked briskly to the sink to wash your hands, ignoring the multiple guesses Shinsou threw your way. All ranging from normal to “seriously what is wrong with you?”.

“Is it a detailed account of all the feelings you have for me?”

“Oh of course,” you snorted, “It starts with unadulterated anger.”

“OO! Big word!” Shinsou jokingly praised, poking his lip out with his puppy dog eyes, “They grow up so fast.”

“Don’t make me get the vase.”

Shinsou raised his hands in defeat, chuckling softly to himself.

“You’re such a toddler,” you laughed at him, going to stand beside him to help prep the ingredients.

“Well you’re the weird one for willingly hanging out with a toddler.”

“Excuse me,” you scoffed with offense, “Toddlers are cool as heck. At holidays I like to hang with them over the adults. I mean come on. It's either relationship drama and taxes or two little humans beating the shit out of each other and pretending to be dinosaurs. The choice is obvious, no?”

Shinsou bit back a smile and simply nodded, trying to mask his humor with a “sophisticated” tone, “Oh of course. No argument here.”

You smiled up at the tall boy, a playful smile on your lips. His eyes flickered down to yours, catching your attention completely. Cliche stars and cupid songs shot off in your head, but you were more concerned with the slight disarray of his hair. There was a single strand out of place, most likely from the fight earlier. You tried to hide your grimace at the cliche atmosphere that was surrounding you right now. But despite it, you bounced onto your tip-toes and reached for the hair, lightly moving it to it’s spot.

You tried to ignore the way you hear Shinou inhale when your fingertips brushed through your hair. You tried to ignore the burning sensation you felt from his lavender irises as they inspected every small feature of your face, painfully enjoying the fleeting moment of closeness you had created. But try as you might, you let your eyes flicker to his. You felt swirling in your stomach, like happy bubbles. It weirded you out to be honest.

“Don’t look at me like that when I’m holding a knife, Y/N,” Shinsou chuckled nervously, breaking eye contact instantly. You dropped back down off your toes, turning to your ingredients with a hushed tone, “Sorry you had a stray hair.”

During the show you were sitting criss-cross on the couch with Shinsou below you. He was slowly working on his bowl of food while you had finished yours forever ago. You always mock him about being a slow eater and he always replies the same.

“Maybe I’m trying to stay a little longer.”

That made no sense to you, he always stays even after eating. It’s normally until you pass out and he heads home. He’s a lot better at the whole insomnia thing than you are.

“Stefan annoys me,” Shinsou groaned pathetically, placing his bowl on the ground beside him. Nakoma eagerly ran towards it but was scooped up by the purple haired boy before she could get a taste. She wiggled angrily for a moment, but eventually settled into his arms.

“Why?” you snorted, used to his complaining over this show by now.

“He’s portrayed as some hero, right?”

“Well-”

“Well nothing,” he huffed sassily, “He’s not a hero. He’s a bad guy. And he’s over here fucking with Elena’s life which, in my opinion, makes him an even worse guy.”

“Well I don’t think Elena would even let him get away at this point. I mean she loves him, right? She doesn’t care about what he’s done.”

Shinsou turned and looked at you with a blank face, “Look at me in my eyes and tell me you’d date a mass murderer.”

You looked at Shinsou and smiled, “I’m not a Stefan girl, but if a mass murderer who looked like Damon Salvatore showed up, it would be all over. I’d go Harley Quinn in this bitch, no questions.”

“No question?”

“None.”

“You’re a mess, you know that?”

“Oh but you like that about me right?”

“I never said I liked you.”

You gasped dramatically, holding your hands over your heart, “That’s it, I’m broken.”

“You just admitted you’d date a mass murderer, I think you were broken before you met me.”

“Shinsou!” you yelled, “That’s it, you lost Nakoma privileges. Give her to me now.”

“No,” he scoffed, cuddling her sweetly, “She likes me better anyways.”

“Sir, I’m gonna ask you to leave if you don’t watch your mouth.”

Shinsou raised his eyebrows comically at you, a small smirk on his lips.

“Say it again,” he said in the most dramatic tone, eliciting a smile on your lips. You tried to bite it down but the way he just stared at you with the most teasing smile had you wanting to burst into a fit of laughter.

“You’re demented.”

“You like that about me.”

“Who said I liked anything about you?”

“Your notebook.”

“You didn’t even read it!”

“Did I?”

The two of you stared each other down. For a moment you thought he had actually read it, but at the same time there was no way he could’ve, right?

“You didn’t.”

“Did I?”

“Did you?”

Shinsou shrugged, “I didn’t, but you definitely just gave away the fact you’ve written about me in it.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“Shut up and finish your food, jackass,” you finally huffed, crossing your arms angrily while turning to the show. Shinsou smiled at your blushing figure for a moment longer before turning back around to the show. He didn’t stop grinning until he left that night.

---

taglist (just send me a message!): @just-a-girl-with-alot-of-issues @pansexualproblemchild @delicatefleur

#hitoshi shinsou #shinsou #shinso fic #hitoshi shinso #shinsou fanfiction #shinso x reader #shinso #shinso hitoshi #hitoshi x reader #hitoshi shinsou x readr #mha #mha shinsou #mha shinso hitoshi #mha x reader #my hero academia #mha fluff #bittersweet trickster #mha series #self insert

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triplexdoublex · 2 years

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I don't know if this might make you feel better or not or maybe even worse, I don't know, but when I read your post I just really had to think of this.

I think my parents always felt a lot like you described how you feel.

My mother always struggled with her body and her appearance. She didn't like that she wasn't really able to lose weight after giving birth to me and my siblings and hated how else her pregnancies changed her body. Now that's one of the reasons I never want to have (biological) kids, because all I've seen and all I associate with it, is that it makes you feel horrible. And if she didn't worry about her weight for a while, then it were maybe her wrinkles or a new red spot in her face or her thinning hair. I never saw anything wrong with her. Maybe it's just because she's my mother, but I always found her beautiful. I never even noticed any of those things until she pointed them out.

She often went shopping, found something she really loved and then never wore it, because she thought people her age couldn't wear that anymore or because something people at her work said. It always broke my heart to see how sad she looked, when she donated it a few months later without ever wearing it, even though she was so excited before. The clothes usually looked great on her - but of coure she never believed me when I told her.

Now she looks unhappier and more stressed every time I see her. She doesn't want help and, sadly, I can't force her.

My father got lonely as he got older, didn't know how to find new friends , didn't really enjoy his work but felt too old to start over and try something new and gave up basically all his hobbies and interests after he married and had kids (me and my siblings). So he often sat at home, lonely, with nothing to do so often just wasting his time and hating having to do this every day again. He was only in his mid 40s when he died by suicide.

What I'm mostly trying to say, you don't have to stop being yourself at a certain age or try to fit into a certain stereotype. Because of you do, your life will become miserable and you only have this one life so try to do what makes you happy. I know it's easier said than done, but I believe that you will be able to figure it all out.💕

There is so much more I could say. Your post really awoke old feelings. Feel free to delete this if you want to.

First I just wanted to say I’m so sorry to hear about your dad but Thank you for this it was actually very reassuring to hear you call your mom beautiful, I often think we just hear stories about moms embarrassing their kids , and that’s alot of what I’m afraid of as my daughter gets older and becomes a pre teen/teen I don’t ever want to embarrass her and have her friends be like “why is your mom wearing that?” And her be like “omg I know she’s so embarrassing , she thinks she’s cool 🙄” I know I should just say fuck it and wear whatever I like ect and not give a shit ( which is literally how I got through highschool) but it’s like I don’t have the excuse of “oh she’s just a kid” anymore , now it’s like “ugh that’s a fully grown functional adult with a child still dressing and listening to emo/alternative/rap ect like she’s in highschool. And I know it’s so easy to say “everyone should wear whatever they want without judgment” but societal pressure is so crazy I’ll be completely honest sometimes I find myself silently judging people for exactly what I’m worried about…. Take Megan Fox for example , she’s 35 mom of 3 but she looks young fits society’s beauty norms and therefore can wear whatever she wants and no one’s gonna say shit , but if your average looking 35yrd old mom is at target with her 3 kids dressed like that you’d be like “WTF is she wearing” because society programs us to be judgmental assholes even though we know Karen at Target should be able to dress however the fuck she wants . As far as hobbies , I still do my hobbies which are only really writing fanfic, and reading books , and the occasional craft, but they’re very “Lonely” hobbies as they’re things that are done solo and not with others. I never did make friends in school I was extremely bullied mostly for being bisexual and lost a lot of the friends I did have when I came out, and never fit in to any particular group and was just a loner and it’s deff carried over into adulthood , I just feel like there’s no one “like me” to be friends with, the only “friends” I have a my daughters friends parents and all we do is talk about mom shit! I love being a mom but that’s not all I am, I wanna talk about music, and have friends to go to concerts with or even just go shopping with I literally NEVER go anywhere with anyone except for the extremely rare occasion one of my long time tumblr friends flys here. Anyways I’m just completely rambling now but thanks so much for talking the time to respond to me and give me some insight. It’s much appreciated. 🙂

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fantastic-rambles · 3 years

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This whole ask is gonna be RLY random but i wanna let this out lol

Holy FUCK i would literally sell my soul for an Adam-centric movie. I heard someone say in a vid that they might as well have made the whole anime about him and it wouldve been just as(if not even more) entertaining, and bro SAME. And frankly the younger characters aren't remotely as fun to watch as the adults.

Also the young!🌹🌸 ship has so much angst potential, it's probably my fav Adam ship(im regularly entertaining the thought of adult!🌹🌸 being together in an alternate universe lol). Also a concept:🌹 going to 🍵s restaurant to drink wine with the bois and complain about his work and bitchy aunts(do u see how desperate i am for them to fix their relationship even tho it's pretty much impossible after all that's happened OTL)

One thing that sends me is how japanese fans(and the va's themselves) are so understanding of Adam's character and are able to fully enjoy the story. There's so much Adam content coming from them compared to the western fandom(which is understandable tho, considering how it's overflowed with whiny fancops).

And the last thing. I don't think ppl that think Tadashi has done nothing wrong truly understand how much he fucked up when they were young. Tadashi was literally the one and only person Adam was sure he could rely on and thought was never gonna betray him(im sure Adam loved 🌸🍵 but there was no transparency in their relationship compared to what he had w/ Tadashi). Tadashi not backing him up in that one moment is something far worse than Adam's dad burning his skateboard. He was literally the only person that truly knew Adam, and losing him left him completely alone, which what i believe actually triggered him into becoming desperate about finding his Eve(thus finding an equal AND someone who could potentially support him). Ofc that doesn't mean that the way he now treats Tadashi is ok.

Ok I'm done sry (￣▽￣)

No apologies! Always happy to find more non-Adam-haters!

100% agree. I would love more Adam content. Especially young Adam-Cherry-Joe. I would miss the Langa, but I wouldn’t mind not having everyone else. xD

My headcanons for them are different though. Although Loveblossom is my favorite Adam ship, I think that it’s an unrequited love from Cherry to Adam, because even when they were younger, Adam is too fucked up to have an actual relationship/understand love, and he wouldn’t consider it because his family wouldn’t approve of it. I also think that Cherry and Joe only ever saw Adam, but never Ainosuke: yes, he lets them see his face, but I don’t think he let them into that side of his life. And Ainosuke keeps everything he feels close to his chest to keep up his perfect image, so he wouldn’t vent it, even privately (other than maybe to Tadashi). But I also think he doesn’t mind his work and while he may not like his aunts, he does appreciate them, since they’ve warped his thinking. (I do want them to fix their relationship too, though. And Adam just showing up at Joe’s restaurant one day would be hilarious.)

Yeah. I wish I knew Japanese. DD:

And Tadashi definitely played a huge role in screwing up Adam. Yeah, it’s not entirely his fault/he also has some clear problems that contributed to it like his inferiority complex, but he really fucked things up. Absolutely agree with everything you said. I think that something happened when Adam was in America that caused him to start desperately looking for Eve, but Tadashi not standing up for him in the one moment that it mattered the most was probably the most painful/significant moment in Adam’s life and strongly shaped his character. Though it is possible that that moment was the trigger for his search for Eve, if it happened immediately prior to Adam going to America (which isn’t unlikely); I’m not sure exactly where it falls in the timeline.

Rather than the snake, I feel like Tadashi is more of a God (though he would never claim that title for himself, or even believe it): he brought Adam into the world of skating (the Garden of Eden) and is now trying to cast him out of it. And that hurts Adam so much, to be betrayed (repeatedly) by his best friend and teacher, someone he once respected. To have God turn his face from him and try to take away Paradise. >~~~<

So yeah, Tadashi is really multi-faceted and intriguing to me, since I think he was something like an Eve, but also a God, and now a Snake (though again, I think “God” is more appropriate than “Snake,” at least with what we’ve seen so far).

Something I’ve mentioned in other posts is that I believe Adam is still in a “state of innocence” and basically still a child inside due to all the abuse he suffered from his family stunting his emotional/mental growth. As Ainosuke, he doesn’t seem to have any personal initiative: he just obediently obeys his aunts and tries to please them by meeting their expectations. As Adam, he’s a lonely child who just wants to have fun doing what he loves and is trying to find a friend who shares his passion for skating. I believe that he has not yet developed a sense of morality, so he doesn’t realize that what he’s doing in both areas is wrong: he’s like a kid stomping on a line of ants. It’s wrong/harmful/spiteful, but he just doesn’t know any better.

#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #skate the infinity #sk8 adam #shindo ainosuke #ainosuke shindo #sk8 cherry blossom #sakurayashiki kaoru #kaoru sakurayashiki #sk8 joe #nanjo kojiro #kojiro nanjo #sk8 snake #kikuchi tadashi #tadashi kikuchi #analysis #long post #mine

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