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#thankfully I have my outline but I'm sure that some of my old ideas got lost but it's all good
viiisenyas · 17 days
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updating a fic from like two years ago is definitely an experience. I've no idea what's going to happen, but I'm excited nonetheless
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idjitlili · 3 years
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Your eyes can be so cruel.
Kili x reader
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Summary:  Being apart of the company, and growing close to Kili. After stopping at an inn, some drunk men, decide to pick at Kili's appearance. Words from Bowie come into favour.
A/n: Requested by Thatfoolishhuman  I have seen this idea a lot for Kili, but I'lol make it my own :) Also I'm British, so don't be mad at my spelling. FIRST IMAGINE OF 2021
Word count:3375
Warnings: Listened to David Bowie while writing this, sorry Bowie you just too handsome. Swearing.
Songs in order: rebel rebel, as the world falls down.
There was perks from travelling with your parents; due to business. The most frequent place you'd go was Tortuga, it was a quite a large village. Every time that you'd go, you and your parents stayed in an inn, which had a pub connected to it.
You'd eat with your parents in there, before all the drunks arrived, it was also a Saturday that you'd go. Saturdays meant that a song writer, and singer in one , was always there. His name being Jareth, he was a very beautiful man, in honesty one of the best musicians, in history.
Jareth was a skinny man, had a huge blond mullet, beautiful eyes one pupil larger than the other, beautiful accent, beautiful everything. Who couldn't have a crush on Jareth, his songs were like none other. 
These trips started when you were 5, when your parents business finally picked up, all the way up until you came to age. Which is when you joined the company, due to Gandalf.
You didn't think you'd ever see Jareth again, but you do.  You had undoubtedly had a crush on the singer growing up, you had almost forgotten about him when you joined the company.
Personally you didn't know Gandalf very well, not like your parents did, but he recruited you for an adventure, how could you deny it. A chance to see elves, dwarves, dragons? No way you was going to pass up that chance, no way.
You were surprised when the company had picked up, after getting Bilbo, since you lived on the way. Scary yes, not knowing any of these people, a chance at getting friends, you could only hope.
Strange was to say the least, you had seen a couple of dwarves growing up , that was just in pubs mostly. The were always not so pleasant, but these dwarves, plump and strikingly handsome. That hobbit? Bilbo that didn't take long for you to become friends, being shy didn't help, but some how you managed.
Dwarves were were quite scary; to say the least they intimidated you. 
That was until a particularly rainy day, when the mud was like cake batter. Thorin had decided it was time to stop for the night, the rain hammering down, lightning even, every now and then. 
Everyone was getting off their pony's, as were you, you was about to step down, when a huge crack of thunder was sounded above you. Damn you Thor. You had jumped, slipping on the mud, but you never hit the floor, instead you into strong arms.
Looking up , drips of water from dark hair had dripped on you, as Kili looked down at you. Your feet upwards, like a trust fall, you had smiled in embarrassment back to Kili, who had pulled you up to your feet. "T-thank you." Now standing up on your own, pulling your tunic down, trying to avoid eye contact.
"You're welcome, wouldn't want you to ruin your clothes a day into our journey." Kili had smiled at you, as you looked back to him from your feet, smiling slightly back.
Dwarves weren't as bad as they were made out to be, you learned that very quickly. When it was time for baths, turns out they were protective over females, always when you bathed two dwarves stood guard, just in case.
On cold nights, you'd wake up with an extra blanket.
Even though Thorin didn't like you were on this quest, he was never horrible, maybe because you just stayed quiet. You did not want to anger that beast, Bilbo talked quite a lot and look at him..
On one night, you were told to hide, Bilbo had been kidnapped by trolls, you hadn't listened. You followed everyone else, staying the bushes, getting as close as you possibly could, before quietly climbing up a tree with your knife.
It wasn't long before they were all caught, you just staring down at them, specifically Kili, you had hoped at he look up, and see you drop the knife. You could not make nose that would have alerted the trolls immediately. Sat on a branch , trying to blend in as much as possible.
That was Kili had looked up wide eyed, as you dropping the knife , and quickly climbed further up the tree to get out of eye view. You had thought it had worked, oh you was wrong.
"That one has gotten out!" Kili had started running around the trolls , as if he was sonic. A few minutes that lasted before you had noticed a shadow. But it didn't matter because Bert had grabbed Kili tightly,like he was slime that wouldn't stay put. No way would not have bruises after that. Of course he got out of Berts grip as Gandalf had appeared, cracking the large Boulder, turning the trolls into stone.
Feeling terrible the next day still, when the company had stopped again for the night and everyone had went to sleep. You could not, Kili being on watch, you had gotten up quietly, making your way over to him, sitting on log next to him.
Thinking about what you would say, Kili had beaten you to it. "Can't sleep?" His voice sounded tired, but still as lively. "Yeah.. um I'm sorry." Very convincing, indeed.
" for what?" The fire glowing orange, causing Kili to be barely visible as he turned to his to look at you. "It's my fault, that you got hurt yesterday, I should've listened to Thorin."
"What on earth are you going on about? I wasn't hurt? I'm fine, no one is dead , you did great, you didn't throw the knife at my head, maybe then I'd be distrusting in you." You felt like sighing, thankfully, but that would be cringy.
"I haven't got good aim, so it could've happened."
"You need someone to teach you."  You had scoffed slightly at Kili, gaining his full attention.
"I do not think anyone would have the patience." The warm orange glow from the fire, lit up the outline of Kili's face, a small grin could be seen.
"Are you challenging me? I have to sit through multiple speeches from Thorin a day."
"That's because you and Fili mess with him, I saw you the other day tangle a bunch of branches into his hair ,while he was sleeping. Why are you always surprised that he gets mad?"
"That was funny though, did you not see that bird fly at him? It shat on his face." Kili's grin only widened, as did yours, you had seen, Thorins face was bright red with the whipped cream.
"I'm surprised Thorin doesn't just leave you somewhere." 
"My mum would kill him. Right that settles it, you will learn from the best , to throw knives."
"You will really get Fili to help me?" Kili had gasped at you , sarcastically. "Oh I see, you want that Lion, over me, I'm hurt y/n."
"No,no, thank you Kili."
Thus, a bond was formed every night the company stopped, Kili would take you from camp, taught you basic defensive techniques and knife throwing.
To say the least, it did not take you long to develop a crush. Fili and Bilbo had became suspicious and decided to sneak up on you two. Why you'd do , not sure, Bilbo supposed to be smart, for all they knew you could've been going at it.
Instead they found you both sparring, undoubtedly they were confused, as you knocked the sword from Kili's hand ,before tackling him. Straddling him, as you looked up to see Bilbo and Fili. Quickly letting go of Kili's wrists, Kili looking up confused too, as you stood up, pulling him up with you.
"Oh, hi, we were just sparring." Too embarrassed to speak, Kili did soon as he noticed his brother and hobbit.  "So, this is what you two have been doing for weeks? 'Sparring'?" Fili didn't believe it, if Thorin knew he would not have, an heir to the throne, left unsupervised with a woman? No way.
"Yes Fili, I've been teaching Y/n how to defend herself." Sweat dripping down both of your faces,  "Right okay, Thorin said it's time for you to have a bath in the quarry, before the dwarves filthy it. Come on y/n." Bilbo had pulled you away, turning your head back to Kili you had sent a smile back to him.
You were back on the road soon enough, Thorin had decided to let the company stop for a night at an inn, an inn with a pub on the side.
Tortuga, the inn you had grew up at.
What day was it? Saturday, you could only hope, you had a huge grin on your face. You had grabbed your stuff,  once everyone was off their pony's, heading in to the inn,
Getting to the desk, to check into the inn, which consequently next to the bar, you in front.  "Aye, it's y/n/n! It's been a while, luv. And you've brought friends, do you all need rooms?"  Sparrow, the owner of the inn had greeted you,with a grin. That man was also very handsome, but too old for you though.
"I know, mum and dad been here a lot though, I assume? Oh I'm, when they next come here, would you be able to give this. And yes please we need for 16." Handing Sparrow the letter from your pocket.
"Of course, okay right it's 2 coins each for the night." The dwarves soon pulled out there coins passing them forward, as did you.
As Sparrow got the keys after counting the coins, he had turned back to you. "Oh, and lucky for you, y/n/n Jareth is here tonight." Sparrow had grinned, as your face flushed.
"Oh,really?" Kili unknowingly to you had also developed a crush on you, the mention of Jareth, made him bubble with jealousy. The company wondered, why such a young woman would be on nickname terms with the pub owner, and who Jareth was. They hadn't seen you as that type of girl, they were right not you, you weren't an alcoholic.
You had all went to your rooms, you had bathed deeply ,  dressed and headed down to the pub for dinner. The company already there, sat at tables, with jugs of ale. There was a space next to Kili, who had waved you over to sit.
Squeezing next to Kili, Sparrow had catcalled you again. "Oi, y/n/n , usual?"  Nodded to his question, Loki the cook had brought out your favourite dinner, as Sparrow brought you an ale.
"You had it ready? Thank you." Sparrow had just winked leaving you to eat your dinner, the others were too busy drinking , but when they had noticed your food, they quickly ordered food.  
"So, you come here regularly?" Kili had questioned as you finished your food, "oh, I'm yes, I travelled with my parents growing up , we had to drop stuff off here in Tortuga often , so we would stay here for the night." You had spoken quickly , wanting to change the subject.
" Transporting goods then?" Kili was intrigued, watching you intensely as you sipped your ale. Really he wanted to know who Jareth was. "Yeah, pretty boring, got to see a lot of places though." After that, a lot of people began to pile in, and the dwarves got drunker.
You knew it was going to be soon, that Jareth would be here. Not long at all, customers getting drunk, it was lively indeed.
Though nothing ever happened between you and Jareth, he still held a place in your heart, as well as being your best friend.
That's when you heard it.
"Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo"  you head had shot up,in search of him, but you couldn't see him.
"You've got your mother in a whirl
She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl
Hey babe, your hair's alright
Hey babe, let's go out tonight
You like me, and I like it all
We like dancing and we look divine
You love bands when they're playing hard
You want more and you want it fast
They put you down, they say I'm wrong
You tacky thing, you put them on."  Then you saw him, on the stage , well sort of a stage. 
Catching sight of his mullet, down to his eyes, he had not noticed you, you wondered if Sparrow had told him you were here.  You hoped he would see you.
"Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress
Rebel rebel, your face is a mess
Rebel rebel, how could they know?
Hot tramp, I love you so!" Thats when Jareth finally caught your eyes, holding eye contact as he sang, Blush upon your face. You had gotten up and went to the bar, ordering something strong, before retiring to your seat.
As Jareth had already started another song, you smacked down your drink.
"There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed
Within your eyes
I'll place the sky
Within your eyes."  Jareth , catching your eye, gesturing you to come closer , with his hand.
"There's such a fooled heart
Beatin' so fast
In search of new dreams
A love that will last
Within your heart
I'll place the moon
Within your heart"
Standing up , Kili watched you as you walked towards the stranger man, as did the other dwarves. 
"As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down."
  Jareth had held knelt down, holding his gloved hand for you to take, which you did. Pulling you up onto the stage.  Still holding onto your hand, still singing, as he continued singing, you placed your hand on his shoulder as he placed his other hand on your waist.Kili's heart ached.
"Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling in love."  As you two danced , in sync, you truly loved Jareth, Kili stood up , went to the bar to get another drink.
"I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you Valentine evenings though we're strangers 'til now
We're choosing the path
Between the stars
I'll leave my love
Between the stars."  Jareth had taught you how to dance, and every time you visited , he'd give you another song he had written for your book.  A book which held all his songs.
"As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down
Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Makes no sense at all
Makes no sense to fall
Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling
Falling in love
Falling in love
Falling in love
Falling in love
Falling in love."  As soon as the song was over, you both had gotten of stage and you had jumped into Jareths arms. 
"Missed you."
"Ditto,"
Jareth had looked over to your table, "so you are travelling with dwarves now?" You had smiled , looking back your table, Kili wasn't there.  "Yes, Jareth, I'm going on an adventure, we have already seen trolls."
Grinning down at you, realisation hit Jareth, and went rushed to his bag quickly before returning back to you with a sheet of paper.
'Magic dance.'
"Just in case you meet a Goblin king. So who is your beloved?" Taking the piece of paper,  looking at into Jareths blue eyes in confusion. "W-what?"
"The dwarf that stormed out, he does not like me."  Jareth had chuckled, as you folded the piece of paper up placing it away.  "We aren't together."
"Maybe you should go check on him, y/n/n, come see me later, I'm staying here tonight." You had briefly hugged Jareth before leaving the pub. 
That's when you heard it, "stupid fucking hairless, fuck."   Local drunks harassing Kili. "Oi, what are you doing?"  The men had turned briefly to look at you, before scoffing. "Fuck of tramp."
You had marched up to the greasy man, pulling by the shoulder, to face you , and kneeing him in the crotch, making the man double over. Kili had punched one of them.  The men soon ran, when you had tackled one of them, beating them into mash, when Kili had pulled you off,the ground, trying to get out of his grip. All the men ran.
"It's me, y/n, stop, if you continued you would have been arrested." Placing , you back onto the floor, Kili had soon walked off, heading to his room, you following. But he had closed the door before you could get in.
This, you climbed up the roof hanging over the roof, to look into Kili's room. Looking like Spiderman. Kili sat on his bed staring at the wall, not moving, jumping when you knocked the window.
He had rushed to the window when he had seen you , hanging of the roof, you definitely couldn't hold on longer. Though Kili wasn't tear stained , it was clear that he was upset.  He had opened the window, helping you in.
"What are you doing? On the roof, what if you fell." He as definitely annoyed, "I would not have, plus I wouldn't have to if you let me in before." You definitely would have fell.
He hadn't answered this time, just sat on the bed, away from you, you sat next to him on the bed. 
"Kili, talk to me, tell me what has made you not yourself. Please, Kili." You didn't dare touch him, but you did placing your hand on his foreman. "Why don't you go to your beloved? You won't be seeming him for a while , instead of bothering me." You had scoffed pulling your hand off of him, you already knew he ran off because of Jareth.
"You are very stupid dwarf, in all honesty, Jareth is my bestfriend, only friend I had growing up, and don't you think he is a bit old for me?" 
"I don't believe it, you like a man that has long soft hair, nothing like me, I can't even grow a beard."
"frankly beards are really gross, tell me that the dwarves don't smell? You know why? Because they drop food all their beards and don't know it."  You had laughed, imagine Bombur going through his beard and finding cheese.
"They do smell,"
"Exactly, and what's wrong with your hair, Kili?" You had turned on the bed, bringing your hand up  to his hair,touching it gently, moving it out for his face. "I think you've got lovely hair, those guys were just idiots, Jareth had to beat them with a soup spoon once, you are not stupid nor hairless. How could they call you hairless? They are bald?"
Cupping Kili's face, to bringing him to face you, looking into his chestnut eyes.  "Y/n, I must confess, that this would not have happened if I did not like you."   And with that you had pressed your lips to his.
"Your eyes can be so cruel
Just as I can be so cruel
Oh I do believe in you
Yes I do" Jareth singing faintly could be heard.
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maybe-your-left · 4 years
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A Case In Need: Control Freak
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Here is a link to my Masterlist that has all the chapters and my WIP! 
TW/CW: NSFW, allusions to violence, drinking, and some breath play! Ren’s a nasty boy and FUCK is it good. 
Also super sorry about it being a while since I updated, I just started some new anti depressants and they threw me for a loop but I'm back on track now and feeling better than ever.
  It had been two weeks since Ren had bought you your ‘gifts’. 
Scratch that. 
Two weeks since a giant monster of a man had removed you from your home, took away your valuables, hid your favorite blanket somewhere, he wouldn’t say where, and gave you a full swat team of bodyguards whenever you were out of his sight. Two full fucking weeks since he started keeping tabs on where you were, what you were doing, and who you were with. 
It was exhausting being his ‘lover’. If you could still be classified as that, it was starting to feel like a hostage situation, whenever the two of you weren’t in the office together he would send you texts or phone calls that you were required to answer. He had even gotten a spare cell phone to call you from so it was separate from his personal calls, and you presumed to keep Rey oblivious. Which oddly enough had been working, she had really no idea what was going on. She would visit him at work throughout the day and give him a small kiss on the cheek and always insisted on hugging you before leaving. At some point, she must’ve hounded him for your phone number because now here you were meeting her for lunch hours after Ren left your, ‘our’ as he liked to call it, apartment. 
Before he left he had laid out an outfit for you to wear along with an outline of talking points you were ‘allowed’ to bring up with her during the lunch. You had rolled your eyes at him and ensured that you weren’t going to reveal anything to her, you didn’t really want your relationship with Ren to end. You just were getting tired of the short leash he kept you on. After getting dressed, and inspected by Ren, he had pulled you into a long slow kiss and whispered in your ear, “I’ll miss you Angel,” and then he was gone. 
Huffing you messed with your hair a little more and straightened out the dress he had chosen for you. Even though he was being a psychopath for control you were surprised to see that he was being generous in the gifts he bought you. The day after moving Ren had taken you to a couture mall in Manhattan and lavished you with thousands of dollars worth of clothes, jewelry, and home goods. He had insisted on keeping the house in a monotone color scheme but he did budge on your wardrobe, he knew that you liked having some pops of color and truth be told you noticed that he enjoyed, a little too much, the baby pink sets you chose at the lingerie stores. He had even gone so far to get you a custom made necklace* that was engraved with his initials, with a ruby inlay, that he wanted you to wear all the time. 
Grabbing your purse and slipping on your black strappy heels you heard your phone go off. You searched your purse for the damned contraption, even though it was a small bag it was almost like a Mary Poppins never-ending abyss when you threw things in it. Jingling out your keys you locked the front door and made it down the steps and finally snatched out the phone. 
Vicrul and Ushar will be escorting you today. Don’t be difficult with them or you’ll be in trouble. 
Ugh, he was never going to let you live that down. You stood outside and waited for their black SUV to pull up while you contemplated messaging him back. You didn’t really feel the need to be escorted to lunch with Rey, wouldn’t she think it’s weird that her husband’s men were driving you? Did she get escorted like that with the other beastie boys? It’s not like you weren’t fond of them, truth be told you liked the guys, they were always posted outside your house when Ren was gone. Usually, it was Ushar who took care of you unless it was a super public gathering then one of the other men would join in. But it had been a while since Vircul had watched you, the last time Ren had let them take you to a spa to get your nails and hair done and you had been in a bratty mood. One thing had led to another and it ended with you screaming that you were being ‘attacked’ because the men would not fucking stop hovering. The spa did not think it was funny however and Ren had to bribe the police officers who were 100% ready to arrest Vicrul because he was pinning you to the salon chair. 
The black SUV slinked up to the sidewalk and out of the passenger side came Ushar. “Hello Miss (Y/N),” he opened the back door for you, “Confirming that you are headed to lunch with Lady Ren?”. 
“Yes Ushar,” you rolled your eyes behind your sunglasses, “He already said I could go.” The men always did this with you, whenever he was gone they would double, even triple-check that you knew where you were going and any special instructions Ren had laid out for you. It was almost like you were a child stuck in the middle of a custody battle, each side was trying to make sure you knew all the rules and what you were allowed to say or do, it was getting really old. 
“Hi Vic,” you cooed trying to get a rise out of him, “It’s been a while hasn’t it?” 
Vicrul let out a low chuckle, “Not long enough Angel, not long enough.” 
You hummed back at him and settled in so they could whisk you away to probably the worst lunch of your life. You decided to play nice and shoot Ren a text to let him know you were with the guys, but you also wanted to push his buttons. 
Don’t worry Daddy. I’ll play nice.
The drive took a little over fifteen minutes, Vicrul parked up front and Ushar quickly opened your door and held his elbow out for you to take. You grabbed it, thankful for the support since you weren’t sure what to expect. The two of you began into the large building, with Vic jogging up close behind. Climbing into the elevator you noticed the other patrons were scooting away from you. Being as you were a small woman being flanked by two men who looked like they wrestled bears for a living, it was a natural response. Most people had hopped off before you hit the rooftop for your ‘date’. 
Stepping out you scanned the area and immediately noticed another hulking group of men in pitch black suits. Ahh, so the others are here too, of course, Rey would have her own guards. You let the guys lead the way and soon you were a group of six men hovering by the hostess stand. Looking around you couldn’t find Rey, she wasn’t any smaller than you, she hadn't gotten far especially with four guys flanking her…
“Ugh there you are!” she squealed before pulling you into a tight hug, effectively pinning your arms to your sides. “I thought you got lost, Kylo told me he sent the Knights to come get you but I was so afraid you stood me up!” 
“The Knights,” you whispered, still in her boney clutches. 
“Yes, the Knights,” she released you and grabbed your hands in hers, “They are the bodyguards we use!”
Oh. The Knights. That’s what Ren called them, well it made sense, they were fucking huge and seemed like they did anything for their ‘master’. 
“Are you ready to eat? I got us a lovely table out on the balcony,” Rey smiled at you. 
“Oh yes, of course,” you tried to match her enthusiasm, “Let’s go.” 
----- 
After the two of you were seated the Knights had flanked you both on your sides, leaving about a 6-foot circle for the waiter and other servers to talk to you. 
“So (Y/N),” Rey grinned at you, “How are you liking work? Kylo says you’re doing an excellent job.” 
You blushed, “Oh thank you, he’s never mentioned that.” 
“Oh, that’s just because he’s bad at giving affection, we’ve been married for almost 10 years and he still rarely says ‘I love you”,” she giggled and started drinking her cosmo. What an awkward turn this lunch had gone, and right at the fucking beginning. It didn’t shock you that Ren was weird with affection and compliments in front of people but you assumed that after ten years he would at least show something toward Rey. Your heart sank, what if he never returned feelings to you? You had been seeing each other for almost a month, and even though you knew it was wrong, you had started feeling ‘feelings’ for him. The PDA was okay, you weren’t a huge fan of it, but even at the mall he had held your hand and kissed your forehead when you found something he liked. It was strange and new for you, and being told that he wasn’t like that with his wife made you ill. 
“Let’s talk about something else,” you spit out, “Sorry, it’s just I’m at work all week so maybe we talk about something different?” 
“Oh of course,” she took another swig of her drink, “I can’t tell you the last time I hung out with a girlfriend.” another drink, “Probably since before I got married!” 
“What?” 
“It’s true,” she sighed. 
“What do you do all day then?” 
“This and that,” she motioned for the waiter to get her another, “Usually I go and play tennis at the country clubs, join in at the book club I’m a part of, you know domestic things.” She looked almost sad, you wondered if Ren was the reason she had nothing to do, or maybe she was just that boring. 
“Well,” you tried to soothe her, “What do you like to do?” 
She inhaled deeply and looked out at the skyline, “I really enjoyed being in school. Learning, reading, doing something. But I don’t anymore, women in my situation aren’t expected to have those kinds of hobbies.” 
“Situation?” 
“You know,” she looked back at you and dabbed her lash line, “Being married to a powerful man, I’m expected to hold a certain standard.” She sniffled and you resisted the urge to reach across the table until one single rule from the outline stood out in your mind, ‘Under no circumstance are you to soothe her, she is dramatic at times and I don’t need you falling into a trap’. 
A server thankfully interrupted your pity party, leaving your dishes and a quick message about ‘if you need anything else just call’. Rey had seemed to reign herself back in and turned back to you with her trademark smile. 
“What about you?” 
“Oh um,” you paused to bite into your salad, “I don’t really do much. I usually go out to bars and stuff on weekends. Or my friends and I have wine and cheese nights!” You smiled at her, it had been about two weeks since your last meeting. Finn and Rose were super confused when you told them you moved but you convinced them that with your new salary you could afford some new things. You actually were supposed to meet them in a couple of days at your new apartment for drinking. 
“Ugh that sounds so fun,” Rey almost screamed, maybe she was drinking too much. You weren’t sure what her tolerance was but you were sure that Ren probably monitored her drinking. “I used to do that in college with one of my friends.” 
“Oh? Where did you go to college?” 
“The same one as you!” she squealed, “Sorry, I saw on your resume where you went to school. I’m pretty sure we were in the same class.” 
“Oh no shit,” you giggled back at her, you tried to remember if you knew her. The only people you hung around were Finn and Rose, sometimes Poe who had moved across the country after graduating. He was the ambitious one out of the group, he had joined the Air Force before school and became a pilot. 
Rey started giggling uncontrollably, you could feel the Knights start to shift towards her. Especially Vicrul who seemed to be keeping a very sharp eye on her. “Yeah, we both used to hang out with Rose,” she said over her glass. 
You froze. Rose? Your Rose? How did she know her? You were sure Rose didn’t know Rey, and if she had wouldn’t you have known Rey too. Now all the Knights were closing in on you two, you could feel the mood shifting to a topic Ren probably didn’t want you to have. “How… How do you know Rose?” 
“Oh, it was way back when,” she flung her hand out to somehow calm you, “back when I was hooking up with this guy Finn.” 
“I think that’s enough Lady Ren,” Vicrul grunted while reaching for her drink. 
“Hey,” she shouted, “I’m a grown woman Vic. I can drink whatever I want!” She was starting to cause a scene, you turned and noticed other patrons looking your way. And what a sight it was, little Rey holding a half drank cosmo as high as she could away from the Knights. 
Vicrul got closer to her and almost growled, “Don’t make me call him.” 
Rey narrowed her eyes, “Do it, pussy.” 
And then all hell broke loose, Rey had launched from the table, effectively throwing her drink on Vicrul. In her haste she had also thrown the food all over you, your pretty new dress now soiled by the salmon salad you ordered. Ushar had rushed to your side and grabbed you by the shoulders and was attempting to pull you from the scene. But you couldn’t just sit and watch, Rey was sobbing and screaming at Vircul to let go of her, even going as far to bite his arm that corralled her to his chest. You couldn’t help but cry too, this poor woman, she was truly a prisoner. She had so many friends at some point, maybe even was your friend, and then she was thrown into a world she didn’t seem to enjoy with a husband who only cared about her appearance. 
Suddenly everything stopped, the Knights were silent and lined up by the table, aside from Ushar and Vicrul. You swallowed your tears and you heard footsteps. Slow and methodical steps coming towards you. Waves of dread began to fill your stomach while the aura of danger was licking between your legs. You cowered into Ushar’s chest, you didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to be at the end of his wrath. 
“How strange it is,” he boomed from your left side, “that here, in our favorite restaurant, you decide to make a scene.” He stalked towards Rey, slow steps, each one growing louder than the last. He had his hands clasped behind his back and although you couldn’t see his face you knew that it was tense. You could practically hear his jaw popping in and out of place. He cracked his knuckles before bringing his hands up to his neck. “I expected more from you,” he spat out and began to crack his neck. Each pop was like a nail in Rey’s coffin, you couldn’t help the little whimper that rose from your throat which caught his attention. 
Ren whipped around and was in front of you instantly. His fists clenched at his sides and his breathing shallow. He was waiting for you to meet his gaze, almost taunting you to stare back. You gulped and squeezed your eyes shut. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want him to blame you, if he would just calm down you could explain what she had said, no one had told you that she got so emotional when she had cocktails. It wasn’t in the outline briefing he had given you this morning. So really it was his fault. 
“Take her away,” he snarled at Ushar, who suddenly picked you up and rushed you out of the restaurant. Peeking over his shoulder you witnessed Ren closing in on Rey. When the elevator doors shut you hoped that the pained screaming you heard wasn’t what you thought they were. 
The drive back was silent. Neither you nor Ushar said a word. You barely remembered to breathe, you were petrified. How could lunch have gone so wrong so fast? You just wanted to get to know her, get an understanding of who she was. You didn’t think she was going to launch into a speech about how much she hated her life. And what was the whole Finn and Rose thing about? Not once had they mentioned that they knew her, other than when Finn told you about the Ren incident. But you didn’t think that meant Rey and Finn hooked up in college. It was all too familiar and uncomfortable, you needed answers and unfortunately, there was only one person who could give them to you. 
-----
You waited. Paced, bit your nails in anticipation for him to come to you. He hadn’t told you this morning when he would be back, but he always would come around in the evening to drop off food and watch a movie with you. Or give you feedback on something at work, or fuck you on any surface he could find. But he never stayed too long, which should be normal, he did have a wife who would probably be suspicious if he was gone overnight. 
After about 5 hours you had decided that he wasn’t coming. So you stripped down and started a bath, throwing in a black glitter bath bomb that was supposed to help soothe the body and soul. After it was just the right temperature you grabbed a glass of wine and turned on some Netflix to drown out your wandering brain. Sinking in you enjoyed the stillness, you didn’t get this luxury at your old apartment and now you were being spoiled rotten with all these new features. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you could live somewhere like this, or wear the clothes that you had hanging in the closet. You hummed to yourself and started drinking and began to be lulled to sleep by the sounds of Fraiser coming from your laptop. 
You were pulled from your sleep to the sound of a door slamming shut. Followed by grunting which you assumed was someone taking off their shoes, and another series of slamming noises. Guess someone decided to pay you a visit, you groaned and drank some more of your wine, preparing for his royal asshole to grace you with his presence. 
You heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, your master bedroom doors swinging open and closed until the man, the myth, the legend, was now standing in your bathroom. Fully clothed aside from his shoes being gone. “Well hi,” you said to him. 
He grunted at you and made his way into ‘his closet’, which was filled with clothes of his own that he bought on your shopping trip. He reemerged completely naked with a black robe draped over his forearm. 
“Why is the water black,” he grumbled before swinging a leg across from you.
“What do you think you’re doing Ren?” 
“Don’t be difficult Angel. I’ve had a long fucking day,” he snapped at you, “Now is this water going to stain me, or am I good to get in?” he stared at you. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched like he was getting ready to attack his prey. You tried to keep your face neutral, not letting him know that you were still slightly scared of him after the display this afternoon. You slowly scrunched your legs to your chest as a nonverbal way of telling him he could join in. Once you moved he brought both legs in and sank into the tub. 
You both were very lucky that this was a large bath since Ren’s legs took up about 75% of the space in it, leaving you to stretch out on top of him. Your feet placed on his abs while he sunk lower and lower until his head was resting on the lip of the tub. 
“What’s in your glass,” he practically moaned at you with his eyes shut. He looked super uncomfortable but you could tell he was trying really hard to relax. Which seemed to never be his natural state. 
“It’s a Cab*, the one with the lion on it.” 
Ren snatched it out of your hand without even looking and chugged the rest of it. “We’re going to need more of that,” he rolled slightly to his right and pressed an intercom button. 
“Whoever the fuck is downstairs will you bring up the Juggernaut bottle,” he barked into the speaker. Assuming that one of the Knights was going to follow his order. Within minutes one of them came in and gave Ren the bottle which he immediately started chugging from. 
“Ren,” you reached out and pulled the bottle from him, “Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened earlier? Or are we just going to drink?” 
“Can we not do both?” 
You exhaled loudly, trying to get your point across that you needed to talk to him. He groaned and started rubbing his face. “I don’t know what you’re expecting from me. She is my wife and what we do in our personal lives is none of your business.” 
“Are you serious,” you snapped at him, “Ren I am fucking you. You’ve been calling the shots of my life for almost a month, you bought me an apartment, car and new clothes and made me go to lunch with her and now it’s none of my business?” 
He crossed his arms and looked away from you, trying to focus on your laptop even though it was paused from watching too many episodes. 
“Kylo,” you barked, “I’m fucking talking to you.” 
“Don’t you dare call me that,” he yelled, raising a finger at you. 
Bringing the bottle to your lips you waited for him to continue. Interesting that he allows Rey to call him that but not you, this was something you were going to have to explore. 
“Is it because you’re ashamed, Ren,” you cooed at him, “Ashamed that I saw how out of control she is. Or that I know you beat her.” 
Suddenly he was on top of you, his hands around your throat. Teeth snapping in your face like a wild dog. “Don’t you ever accuse me of that,” he seethed and released you enough so you could breathe again, “I’ve never laid a finger on her in my life. You don’t know anything about me little girl.” 
You had dropped the bottle in the tub, the red liquid pouring out and mixing into the black water. Almost like there had been blood spilled between the two of you. You grasped onto his forearms to try and anchor him off of you but were getting nowhere. “That’s hard to believe,” you gasped, “When you’re currently choking me to death.” 
“Oh Angel,” his face softened to a less dangerous one but more one of mischief, “That’s because I know you like it when I’m rough with you.” You inhaled sharply, and Ren pushed you up further against the tub. Effectively pinning you in place while his knees knocked yours to accommodate him. 
“Like right now,” he came closer to you, “I know that your pretty little cunt is sopping because of me. It’s okay to be afraid, I won’t hurt you.” One of his hands dropped into the water, “That much.” 
Suddenly he had you flipped around, on your knees with your chest and face pressed up against the end of the tub. Water sloshing between you two while he pressed his hips into yours. Revealing a once well-hidden erection that was now skimming your folds. He brought one hand down between your legs, lightly petting at you. Humming when he felt your arousal mixed with the water. You moaned and tried to press your hips back into him, desperate for friction. “No, no Angel, you’ve been a bad girl.” 
You froze and felt him line himself up at your entrance, usually he worked you open so it wouldn’t be so painful when he pushed into you, but it was clear that right now Ren wanted you to feel the pain. His other hand came up and gripped to your hair, successfully knotting it in his fist. 
“Tell me, Sweetheart, do you know how long you can hold your breath?” 
You craned your neck to try and look at him, you were obviously confused. 
“Let’s find out.” 
Ren pushed into you and suddenly you were dunked underwater. You thrashed and screamed under the black mess while he started pumping into you. Each thrust was harder than the last, he was determined to make you know how much he could hurt you. You tried to push yourself back up to the surface but he had you pinned, after what felt like hours he pulled you back up and you choked on the water. 
Gasping and gagging you started sobbing while Ren was laughing like the Joker. “I think we can do better than that,” and he had you under the water again, his pace far more crucial, he was chasing a high that he didn’t know he had. The amount of power he held over you now was unbearable. This man, who you had grown to like more and more, was now holding you hostage under the water and the sick part was that you didn’t want him to stop. 
He pulled you back up and pinned your face to the side and thrust in more and more, grunting and groaning at the clenching of your walls around his cock. The hand holding your hip hostage slid down and started rubbing tight circles around your clit causing you to moan. “That feels good doesn’t it Angel, I can feel you, you love it when I fuck you like this.” 
Gagging again you responded, “I do I love it, Ren, please don’t fucking stop.” 
“You want to cum don’t you,” he leaned to your ear and continued his brutal pace, “Cum all over my cock? Even though I almost drowned you?” 
You screamed as his circle grew faster and faster over your nub, you couldn’t help clenching around him. You felt so close to your orgasm, you just needed a little bit more. 
“Tell me you like it, Angel,” he huffed before stopping to take a bite out of your shoulder, “You like it when I control you. You need it don’t you dirty slut, someone to keep you in check.” 
“Yes Ren I love it, please please let me cum,” you begged him. 
“After you cum you’re going to thank me for everything I’ve done for you, do you understand whore? I own you. I own your mouth, your tight little cunt, even your thoughts.” 
You were bucking back into his thrusts, desperately chasing your release, “All yours Ren, please I need it.” 
He stilled his movements and turned your head to try and face him, “Take a deep breath and cum Angel.” 
And you did just that as he dunked you back under the water, pinning you flat against the bottom while his fingers rubbed your clit in sync with his cock. You were clenching and desperately trying to hold your breath until you felt him empty inside you. Hot sticky cum painted your insides as his grip on your loosened, you took the chance to lift out of the water and gasp for air while Ren slumped against you. His chest flush with your back while his cock was still squirting into your tired pussy. 
His arms came around you and pulled you up with him so now you were on top of him while he buried his face into your neck. Lazy and sloppy kisses were placed all over the crook of your neck up towards your jaw, his hands were slowly petting your breasts in a way to calm your breathing. Finally, he took in a deep breath and stood with you clutched to his chest. 
Treating you like you would porcelain he stepped out of the tub and turned to the shower, quickly rinsing the two of you off before leaning you against the wall. You couldn’t even move, your body went into fight or flight every time he shoved you under the water. You were so sure he was going to kill you, but each time he was sure to pull you back up and prepare you for the next blow. It was almost considerate, given the circumstances, that he even let you cum with him. You stared at the man who was washing both of your bodies of the glitter, wine, and cum. He looked so focused on piecing you back together even though he had been the one to break you in the first place. 
He shut the water off and stepped out, quickly drying himself off and getting in his robe before reaching his hand out for yours. 
“Come on Angel, you’re shivering,” he whispered to you, afraid to command you after what had happened. You grabbed his hand and walked out of the shower where he again dried you off and wrapped you in your black robe too. Once you were bundled he picked you up and you wrapped your arms and legs around him, desperate for him to stay with you. 
He brought you to the bedroom, pulling down the sheets with his right hand while still cradling you with his other. Bending over to place you down you squeezed him harder, “Please don’t go,” you whispered in his ear. 
“I’m not going anywhere (Y/N), not anymore.” 
You released him and watched him go back to the bathroom and shut off the lights before coming back and climbing into bed fully naked. Ren came up behind you and started to pull off your robe, kissing your bare skin when it came into contact with the room's cold air. 
“I promise (Y/N), never again” he cooed before pulling you into his embrace and the two of you were lulled to sleep. 
TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads​ @morby​ @kirah36​ @onlykyloscenes​ @clumsycopy​ @candycanes19​ @desiraypark​ @direnightshade
*Here is our necklace from Tiffany: https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/elsa-peretti-color-by-the-yard-pendant-62464399/
**Here is the wine we are having, it’s my sister’s favorite red wine and it's honestly not that bad: https://www.wine.com/product/juggernaut-hillside-cabernet-sauvignon-2017/532155?state=CA&s=GoogleBase_CSE_532155_type_Wine_RedWine_CabernetSauvignon_261&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_campaign=Google_Shopping_Smart_CA_Relaunch&showpromo=true&promo=PSCASE10&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpNr4BRDYARIsAADIx9wTNMJgAuhl1zWgoZEny8NAfa4vYZmIzTH446JIQfJ5NE9upZGPAGgaAk0eEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#promoBarModal
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mysteryofren · 4 years
Text
welcome back
part 8 of so happy together
Part 7
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  The days after new years felt like a dream. You and Ben texted non stop. You learned a lot about him in the past few days. The more you knew about him the more you liked him. You told him more about your relationship with his parents, and he tried giving you the best advice he could. You wanted badly to ask if he wanted to hang out, but you knew his parents were home. Even if he acts like it you feel like deep down he missed them, and that he’ll miss them when school starts up again so you never brought up hanging out. 
 Your grandfather went back to working again, so you only saw him at breakfast, and dinner. Some days he stopped working early so you two could go out, or watch a movie before he went to sleep. For a moment it felt normal. As normal as it could be. You felt like you were a regular teen with a regular parent. Well grandparent. He made time for you instead of constantly working and brushing you off. You were originally supposed to stay for christmas eve, christmas, and the next day. That first night was amazing, and you refused to leave. You would stay too if your school wasn't so far. It made you love your time here even more. 
 Gideon and you spent your days exploring the forest and playing games at the house. You learned a lot about the old dog in the days since you got him. One day there was a rare winter rain. You set up by a window and listened to music. Gideon saw you sit and sat next to you putting his head in your lap watching the rain fall down the window with you. He followed you everywhere. If you walked to the kitchen he went with you. You went to bed and he would follow you and sleep next to you. One day you decided to take a bath and he sat in the tub with you. The sentiment was nice, but bathing with a dog wasn't exactly sanitary. Your grandfather had chosen the perfect dog for you. You loved Gideon as if you had been his owner for his whole life. 
 Although they felt like a dream. The days went by fast then next thing you knew you were packing a bag to go back to school. Most kids just went back on the first day classes resume, but you wanted to get back early and enjoy the peace there before the chaos began. Your grandfather helped take your bag to your car. The worst part about going back was leaving him. You had so much fun being at his house the past 2 weeks it made you sad to think you had let yourself get so busy you were only seeing him every few months. He made you a copy of the house key so you could go by anytime you wanted to. You added it next to your dorm keys, and pulled him in for a hug. What were you going to do without him or Gideon. At least you would be with Elaine again, and you would get a chance to see Ben more. 
  The whole ride back you felt a strange emptiness. Like you were going away for good. You knew you werent. You and your grandfather had made plans for the following weekend to get lunch. Either way going back felt weird. Eventually you pulled into the parking lot for your dorm. You parked and got out looking around, and taking in the silence. You grabbed your bags out of the seat and walked to your room. You opened the door and set your stuff down on your bed. You grabbed your headsets and put them on. You started unpacking your bag and putting all the clothes you had used in a basket. You took all your unused clothes and put them away. You picked up the basket and headed to the campus laundry room. 
The next day came fast. You woke up early to get ready making sure your makeup was just right. The one thing you definitely didnt miss about the school was the stupid uniform you had to wear. It consisted of a dark green plaid skirt with a white button up tucked into it, along with a tie. You did have the option of wearing a blazer with the school's logo on it, but for the most part you went without that. The boys had to wear khaki pants, with a white button up, and a red and gold tie. Unlike the girls uniform it was required that they wear the blazer. After you got done getting ready you grabbed your backpack and books and headed to your home room class. 
 You walked in and saw all the familiar faces before sitting down next to Hux. Unfortunately he was the only friend you had in the homeroom. Elaine was always placed in another one. Once you sat next to Hux you said your hellos before your teacher had walked in.
“Welcome back, I trust you all had a nice vacation?” professor Windu asked. 
A hushed reply of yes’ went over the room 
“Good. we have a few things to go over before you go to your classes.” you listened as he went over basic stuff, updating everyone on fundraisers, upcoming events and future assemblies.
 You were close enough to Hux, that you could whisper to him without anyone noticing. 
“So how was the college?” you asked him
“It's amazing, everything is absolutely beautiful, I'm so excited to go at the end of the year.” 
“That's good, what are you going for?”
“I originally wanted to go for law so I could work with my father but they do have an amazing art program and I would love to be an art curator at the Met.” you never knew he was into art.
You two continued talking until the bell rang letting students know to head to their next class. The day went by fast and finally you arrived at your final class of the day. Computer science. You took your usual seat, and waited until your teacher gave you an assignment. A few seconds after arriving your desk mate walked in. You had completely forgotten Matt sat next to you. 
“So I heard you kissed brother, guess that means you’ll be with him now?” he asked as he sat down. 
“I mean maybe, I'm not really sure what's going on there.” 
“Well I consider you my friend so i know if anything does happen you’re cool, and you won't be mean to me like his last girlfriend.” 
“Hey! We are friends, and I would never be mean to you under any circumstance.”  then it finally hit you. How did he know you met his brother? Had he talked about you? Did Luke say something?
“So how did you hear about that happening? Did Luke say something?” 
“No he talked about when he got back. He seems to really like you.”
“I mean i kind of like him too so i guess that's good.” 
 You and Matt had been cut off by your teacher telling you of a new project. Automatically you and Matt looked at each other knowing you were going to partner up for it. She explained the project would be for artificial intelligence. She gave the rest of the period to make a plan and get started. You and Matt made an outline of your plans and started making the powerpoint. Near the end of class you two discussed a day to get together after class along with eating lunch together and working on it. When class was over you walked around campus for a while together you asked him about Hoth and what he did when he was there. He told you about how it was his first time seeing snow, and going skiing. After a while he told you he told you he was gonna go unpack his stuff from his trip. 
  You walked back to your room and saw that Elaine still hasn't gotten back yet. Your guess was that she was still coming back from classes. You set your bag down and laid out on your bed, when you realized you hadn't talked to Ben all day. You pulled your phone out of the pocket you had sewn into your skirt and sent him a quick text. You figured that the first day must have overwhelmed him, and it just slipped his mind. After about 10 minutes you stood up and grabbed your bag. Digging your books out you walked over to your desk and sat down to do homework. You checked your phone every 5 minutes hoping he would reply. After about 30 minutes passed and Elaine walked in and she was wearing her soccer outfit. 
“Dude you'll never guess what happened today!!” she said as she walked in. throwing her bag down. 
“Is everything okay?” you turned looking at her. 
“Yeah everythings fine, but there's a coach from NYU coming to the game next week!”
“Oh hell yeah! This is gonna be so good for you!” you stood up and hugged her.
“You're coming to the game, right?” she asked 
“Of course I come to every game!” 
“Well you were busy with a certain someone else.” she teased. That reminded you to check your phone again.
“Actually a certain someone has spoken to me all day.” 
“Maybe he's busy. It was his first day after all.” she said as she grabbed clothes and headed to the bathroom. She was right, maybe you were overreacting. Some reason it just felt wrong. 
  You decided to throw your phone on the bed so you didn't feel tempted to keep checking. About two hours later you finished your work for the week you even thought of some ideas for your computer science project. Once you were done you got up and grabbed your phone to message Matt about some of your ideas. Still no text from Ben. You sent Matt some of your ideas. Frustrated you asked Elaine if she wanted to go to Mazs place for dinner. She thankfully agreed and you two got dressed. As you walked out you got a message from Matt telling you he had some ideas too. On the walk back you talked back and forth about them before deciding on a few ideas. 
  When you got to the restaurant you saw Hux sitting alone again.
“Do you mind if we go sit with Hux?” you asked her.
“Sure, but can I ask why his name is Armitage and we all call him Hux?”
“He hates his name so we all kinda just started calling him by his last name.” you explained as you walked over to his table. She nodded her head and walked over with you. 
“Hey Hux, can we sit with you?” you asked him. He smiled and motioned for you guys to sit down.
“Of course you can, Phasma should also be joining me at any moment.”
“Cool, we can all hang out I Dont really hang out with Phasma outside of practice.” 
 You both sat down and started talking to Hux when Phasma arrived. You've known her since about middle school. Her parents and yours were friends. You would call her a friend, just not one you hang around a lot. You all stayed four a few hours talking, and laughing. Well most of you are laughing. Hux never really laughed. He kind of just smiled, or let out a breath. You figured that's why him and Phasma were best friends. They were serious as hell. Phasma had her moments of goofiness but for the most part. She was a bad bitch.
  When you decided to leave you all walked to the dorms together. After Hux walked off to his room. You, Elaine, and Phasma had walked to the girls dorm area. Once you and Elaine parted with Phasma you checked your phone again. Nothing. You sighed and put your phone up. You watched Elaine dig her keys out and unlock the door.
“Still no messages?” she said  walking in. 
“No, i'm sure everything will be alright.” you walked in and quickly changed into yours night clothes.throwing yourself on your bed you sighed. “Maybe if he doesn't like me i can just date Hux.” you said jokingly.
“Oh yeah that's something I'd pay to see happen. Can you imagine little red headed versions of you running around. It'd be like a nightmare I had once.” 
“Stars can you imagine. Y/N Hux. it kind of has a ring to it.” you both laughed. 
“I can see it now. You, an up and coming fashion designer, him, a big hot shot lawyer! Together you two strike fear into the heart of New Yorkers!” she dramatically fell onto her bed making it seem as if she had fainted. 
“Actually he wants to be an art curator.” you corrected her.
“Even better you both are art nerds.” she tucked herself in and turned off her lamp light. You did the same as she spoke out.
“I'm positive he’ll text back. He's got to, he’d be an idiot if he didnt.” she yawned out before falling silent. You stayed up a while longer. You searched through old texts looking to see if anything had been different the day before. Could you have said something that put him off? Did he indicate that something was wrong and you didn't notice? You searched desperately for an answer, until you eventually drifted off.
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