Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.
Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?
Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3
TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.
I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)
Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:
"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.
"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.
"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.
"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.
I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.
'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.
People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.
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Sorry you鈥檙e having a bad time!
Write about Gale giving Tav (either Sagora or my Gale with Auroria bc multiverse) a flower for the first time 馃尭
ok, I can't help it. This is gonna be a little Sagora x Gale moment.
There's a time in the series when she gives him flowers so why not make a little treato where he gives her flowers!
(After-story-was-written note: This REALLY got away from me, but clearly I am obsessed with these two, and I don't think there is any cure for me lolol.)
*this is gonna be sappy, self-indulgent, sfw fluff. You have been warned.*
It wasn't long after Gale showed Sagora the Weave when things started to change between them. He recalled the gentle brush of their hands as he marveled at her ability to channel it so easily. His cheeks burned as the Weave connected them, and he saw her thoughts. Thoughts of a shy, tender romance, and holding hands with the hope of something more.
***
He followed her lead, leaning on her natural instincts to help navigate them through the unfamiliar landscape not far from the crashed Nautiloid.
"Gale? Are you alright?" She noticed him falling behind occasionally. This time with his back to her, bent over into a cluster of shrubberies. Her face contorted into a concerned gaze. Hesitant - as if she worried her concern for him would be too intrusive. "...Is it the orb again?"
He straightened immediately as he registered her soothing voice was directed at him, and hoped he was sneaky enough to conceal whatever he was holding behind his back without her noticing.
"Hm?? Oh!" He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his empty hand. "Perfectly fine. The orb appears to be sated...for now."
Sagora smiled as a breath of relief washed over her. "Good. I'm glad. Just...try to keep up, ok? It's not much longer 'til we reach the Mountain Pass."
Gale nodded. "Apologies. Please forgive a wizard for being curious in an unfamiliar land." She flashed a shy smile before turning back to the front of the group, and forging ahead.
He heaved a heavy sigh, grateful she was too far ahead to see the longing in his eyes. He looked down at his hand, and what he had gathered and smiled.
***
The adventurers made camp before nightfall. The sky was clear with twinkling stars and the occasional stray feathery cloud drifting by. Everyone retired to their tents for the most part, nursing aching muscles, sharpening weapons, or catching up on old tomes pillaged from nearby ruins.
Sagora sat by the fire, staring into it as if she searched for meaning within the flames.
"Am I interrupting anything?" Gale tilted his head down, examining her vacant stare as the fire reflected in her eyes.
She looked up to see the face that matched the warm voice that snapped her out of her reverie, sighing with relief. "Sorry. No. Just lost in my thoughts. Well...if they're even my thoughts anymore." She paused, gazing back at the fire once more before looking back up at Gale inviting him to sit as she pat the ground next to her.
Carefully, Gale lowered himself down to the ground, being thoughtful of his already aching knees. "Beautiful night tonight, isn't it?" He craned his head back to gaze at the endless sea of stars that hung overhead. "And I believe..." he drawled out, pointing towards the sky, "That's the Arrows of the Gods. Though it's...hard to make out from here. If we were in Waterdeep I could show you so many more constellations, and the story behind each one." He leaned in, playfully nudging her shoulder. "If you'd let me, of course."
Sagora chuckled, smirking as she nudged him back, trying to make their dismal situation seem more lighthearted than it really was. "If we live long enough I might take you up on that, wizard."
They laughed softly together as if they shared a secret before falling silent, and an uneasy tension floated between them.
"I uhh...I got you something." Gale's face burned brightly as he fumbled with the bundle in his hands.
"For me?"
He nodded, the luminescence from the orb peeking out over the collar of his velvety sleep shirt as his heart began to race.
"I'm sure you could conjure these in your sleep. It's nothing really...I just...well, I thought these would cheer you up." He timidly handed her a small bouquet, one of each flower from the area, neatly arranged, and wrapped with a strip of leather he found among his spell components.
She gently took the spray of wildflowers in her hands, gazing at them as she bit her lip, tears brimming, and threatening their descent.
"Gale...they're beautiful. Thank you." She smiled as their eyes met, the flicker of the nearby fire dancing in their eyes, mimicking the warmth they felt within.
Sagora placed the flowers in her lap and whispered an incantation that blossomed a small, white daisy. The purple glow of the orb reflected off her skin as she leaned in and tucked the small bloom into Gale's hair. It took all of her willpower to resist the temptation to kiss him right then and there. Instead, she shifted her body closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, relishing in the comforting scent of parchment that seemed to be permanently nestled in his clothes.
After a moment, she looked up at the sky and pointed at a different cluster of stars. "I think," she whispered. "I think that one is The Harp."
He leaned his head over, resting it on top of hers. "Hmm...I think you're right."
<3
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i have to ask because i adore you and i want to know about your new blorbos- who are they and what are they and why are they always soaked in blood
JDHSJFHJFDDJFFSDFDF, oh man where do i start cassie.
they're from the anime/manga jujutsu kaisen, and they are:
gojo satoru. love of my fucking life. my fucking everything my boy my man, i am so so in LOVE with this man i cant even begin to tell u. he consumes my every waking thought, my life is dedicated to seeing him get fucked. (he's the guy in my header humping his all into the other's arm)
and (ryoumen) sukuna. beautiful sexy evil man.
(can u tell who's my fave)
so in this world, we have jujutsu sorcerers, who are people with special powers that they use to defeat/exorcise curses, which are basically evil spirits born of negative human emotions
gojo is the strongest jujutsu sorcerer alive. he is insanely strong, not a single person can go against him. his powers make it so that u literally physically cannot touch him. he controls "infinity" and can warp space, and he also has pretty special eyes that let him perceive things at a much deeper level than a regular person. those two things combined make him quite literally untouchable. and insanely powerful.
as for sukuna, he used to be a human who lived thousands of years ago, who used to be the strongest sorcerer of his time, and is considered to be the strongest sorcerer in history. he is the King of Curses, no one could ever defeat him, or destroy his soul, which he divided into his 20 preserved fingers so it would survive through time, even after dying.
so itadori yuuji
this lil baby boy (literally the babiest sweetest boy to exist btw) (he's actually the main character haha)
due to some stuff, he ends up eating one of sukuna's mummified fingers and sukuna reincarnates inside him. yuuji becomes a vessel for sukuna, who lives inside yuuji's mind now and sometimes takes over his body (reason why they look the same)
and now, yuuji is sentenced to be executed bc he holds the most evil sorcerer in history inside him, but gojo goes nope! wait a minute, let's not do that. and manages to convince the people in charge to postpone yuuji's execution, saying that they'll get yuuji to find and eat all of sukuna's fingers and then execute him, getting rid of sukuna all in one go.
ok so that's the context (that's actually what the anime's about haha), but as to gojo and sukuna.
THEY ARE IN LOVE
well, they're there. sdkkhfkjdkfdf
ok no, so like they do their things right. gojo is a teacher (tho we never actually see him do any teaching lmao) and sukuna lives inside yuuji and causes trouble sometimes. they don't really ever interact in the story (they literally meet and have a lil confrontation, decide to kill each other and never talk again djshjfdasdadfd) (until they actually have their Fight, more on that later)
BUT!!!!!!!! they may not interact, but they are completely tied together narratively.
as u can see, they're both the strongest from their respective times, so they have a lot of links when it comes to their characters themselves and what they are referred to in the story. specifically that, in being the strongest, they exist in a plane above everyone else, literally untouchable.
now, in the story, this position of strongest is coupled with solitude, being the strongest meaning u're alone and no one else understands you bc of this
and SO they have their fight. bc plot reasons right. this is obv what it was all gonna lead to. fight of the two strongest.
and the fight, consequently, revolves around that idea of solitude, and understanding each other.
which like. ok. yeah we saw that coming. ofc. no big deal.
EXCEPT, to make reference to their relationship and that idea of understanding each other, the term that is used is, and i kid u not, love.
there's a very specific phrase that is used multiple times between them. which is actually used originally with a character who shows romantic feelings towards sukuna.
she challenges sukuna to a fight and sukuna promises to marry her if she wins. her goal in this fight is to share in sukuna's solitude and show him love (read R鈫扡)
but she says this to sukuna and this. this is his reaction.
SUKUNA KNOWS LOVE ALREADY
to which she gets super pissed bc that's not!!! love!!!!!!!
sukuna defeats/kills her. and u know when the next time that exact fucking phrase is used? when sukuna and gojo finally meet again and set up the date to have their Fight, where sukuna remembers her words
which tells us that.
sukuna was.
thinking about gojo when she said that.
*screams into hands*
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. this phrase is then repeated. multiple times.
1. right after gojo punches the fuck out of sukuna:
2. said in reference to gojo, when he realizes there's a chance of him losing:
3. gojo reminiscing about their fight:
so, as u can see, they were going to teach each other love. their fight is. canonically. about teaching each other love. what the FUCK.
but ENOUGH love talk (or else i'm at risk of going crazy insane)
LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'RE LOADED WITH SEXUAL TENSION
this was in their first meeting where they fought (for quite literally 10 seconds)
like... why he do dat.... .......... . ....
next day sukuna goes "hey im gonna kill u first <3" and gojo just goes "teehee omg really? *hair twirl* <3"
they also decide to have their final battle on dec 24 which is like a super romantic date in japan (explicitly said so by another character)
and their FIGHT. it is LITERALLY just them flirting and touching each other
LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fucking lost it. i still haven't recovered. that is the hottest thing i've ever seen in my life. gojo wants that dick so fucking bad
not to mention thigh grabs and hand touchies
and the entirety of the fight is just them having fun 馃槶馃槶 they're supposed "enemies" on opposite sides and the fate of the world is at stake here, but they actually don't give a fuck about that.
they're literally smiling and having a great fucking time. this fight for them is just play. their fight is just for them to have fun as the strongest and to connect with each other. they're enemies but they don't hate each other or anything, they only search for that sense of fulfillment in each other OTL
AND ABOUT THAT, oh my GOD
sukuna wins. he defeats gojo. and at the end, this. is what sukuna says to gojo at the end of the fight:
FUCKING. I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU. SCREAAAAM THAT'S ROMANCEEEEEE.
and the soft smile? the fucking petals falling all over them? oh GOD they're trying to kill me
but that's on sukuna's side, what about for gojo? well
HE GENUINELY TRIED TO REACH SUKUNA, GAVE IT HIS ALL TO CONNECT WITH HIM. TO TEACH HIM LOVE AGFKDHSKFHFKJFHDF (BUT HE FAILED HE COULDN'T GIVE SUKUNA WHAT SUKUNA GAVE HIM 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶)
HHRRRRGJFHSJDFHDSJFSDFA KJHDKFJSFKASLDKS ADKJKFHEWRKJEKRKTRELRW
and if i start crying OTL
but alas *deep breaths*
even without all that they're just very fucking sexy. two insane powerful men going at it? come on. how could u NOT want them together. they both hold the same title of the strongest, might as fucking well fuck nasty about it.
and oh god, when i tell u gojo is a fucking brat and he's so strong and untouchable, but then sukuna is capable of putting him down which is. insanely sexy. and i need it. i need gojo obliterated. and i know sukuna won't let me down (AND HE DID NOT. HE OBLITERATED THAT MAN) can he now obliterate his holes too
agdkhfhdkhdhs, anyways.... yeah.. that is the situation.........
im just gonna end this by saying
SUKUGO MY LOVES
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