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moontheoretist · 2 years

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Something about the lost potential of the relationships between companions.

You know... always when I think about DA2 and how the story was written I mourn the fact that some of the characters that are our companions are never actually shown to put aside their differences in the end and become friends, a unit that supports each other, with rare examples of friendly banter in some cases (like Sebastian and Merrill). That there is always a divide inside the group on part of some specific companions, regardless of how we play the game and what we choose to do. The best example are Fenris and Anders, who if not forced to stay always at odds, could probably find a common ground. They were both oppressed, even if that oppression was not coming from the same source. They have so much in common that it is painful to watch them never actually notice or acknowledge that. It hurts even more when Anders says something bad about elves, considering that he should more than anybody else know how it feels to be oppressed by others and treated worse for something he has no control over, something he never chose to be born with or as. TBH same goes for Fenris who despite hating all the mages SHOULD be able to see the injustice and oppression that happens in the south, should be able to connect it to his own experience as a slave with time passing, even though at first he would not be able to see them as anything else than future Magisters that mistreated him and so many others, because he perceives them all as a threat.

Though, Anders’ racist remarks (the ones from Awakening, as well as his treatment of Merrill and Fenris in DA2 - some things he says are just... ouch, not cool) do not surprise me in the slightest. I know many people who are oppressed and then turn around and oppress people from their own community. I do not understand it. It is baffling to me, but I know it happens, so it doesn’t surprise me that someone can be oppressed for who they are and then turn around and still be racist. LGBTQ+ community knows that the best, how being oppressed for your gender or sexuality doesn’t automatically make you someone who cannot be racist or ableist or antisemitic. I wish we could not be bigoted towards other minority groups or micro groups in our own community. It would be great if we just stopped being hypocritical, stopped turning around and throwing shit that was thrown at us by our oppressors at another oppressed group. I can see merit in making characters flawed in this way. However, there is an idea in canon of the game that always will not make sense to me and will be inherently against Anders nature as a character, which I will never accept to be canon. Namely, him being happy if Hawke decided to give Fenris back to Danarius. He may not have personal experience with being a slave to a singular person like a cruel Magister, but he definitely has an experience of being enslaved to a whole ass institution, and it is not actually that far away from being treated as someone’s property. In his case he is just property of the Chantry, to be used as they see fit and to be discarded (killed or made tranquil) when they deem him too dangerous. I have the exact same issue with Sebastian who has this weird banter about giving Merrill and Anders to the Templars, as if it was not against his characterization (and the fact that he seemed friendly with Merrill). That just feels like forced division for the sake of it. Artificial wall to keep them separate.

Anyway, my point is that your companions can always CHANGE. That they don’t always have to be as they were planned to be at the beginning, because interactions between the characters is what makes them grow, just like people. If they are only allowed to do so. And they are not allowed to, even if they are portrayed as if they were friendly with some of the companions. It just never goes beyond that level of hinting that they are friendly, but actually not acknowledging it. Not to mention that they are outright forbidden from seeing a common ground with characters that are at odds even though they have many things in common that unite them if they only notice that they do not actually have opposite views, just different targets. Fenris would not give Anders or Merrill to the Templars, but he also does not seem to see the issue Anders speaks about from his point of view. He is not allowed to just as much as Anders is not allowed to see Fenris point of view despite being Darktown healer and supposedly knowing how bad elves are treated in the south as a foundation for him at least considering how much worse it must be in Tevinter.

It just boggles my mind how writers could create so many interesting characters for this game and never ever think about how they would interact with each other beyond some snippy banter that never seems to evolve beyond the initial ideas. It just feels as if they were eternally stuck in the vision that writers had for their relationship, regardless what happens, as if relationships were fixed in stone instead of something that ever changes. The same situation applies to Anders animosity towards Merrill, or the divide between Aveline and Isabela. They are just treated like monoliths that will always be the same and will never find a common ground, will never talk their differences through, not matter what Hawke does or what happens to them all. I understand Sebastian being left out, because he is a DLC exclusive companion, but I think that even for him there should be written a whole set of relationships with others that change and grow with the story regardless of his status (he is Fenris’ friend after all). Like for example he comments in Darktown “Why Chantry doesn’t help these people?” and I think that could be a GREAT foundation for him and Anders warming up to each other, because Anders IS A DARKTOWN HEALER, he is the only person that DOES HELP those people and knows how much Chantry has them in their asses. (This is most probably not enough to make him change his feelings about Elthina or his mind about the Resolutionists or turn his back to the Chantry, but it could be enough to make him think about the dissonance of what Chantry preaches versus what they actually do, and force him to place Anders in the context of the one who despite being on the run, despite being in danger, does everything in his power to help those people, while not asking anything in return). And it pains me that it never happens. That he and Anders, just as much as Fenris and Anders, are never truly allowed to get along over shared views just to keep them all as separate factions. It is such a wasted potential to show that characters are willing to talk to each other in banter, but never actually allow them to get to know one another and change through the course of the entire game, as if they were forever stuck in the simple archetype and role they were created for. And this is also the reason why I love Dragon Age fanfics. Because some of their authors actually put thoughts into all of those characters as living, breathing human beings instead of just fixed archetypes that will never change that devs didn’t need them to, and give them LIFE.

It makes no sense for them to always stay the same when we know that they DO spent time with each other outside missions, and not always with the presence of Hawke gluing them together, either. If they truly all hated each other, would they really play Diamondback at Fenris’ mansion? No. And the problem is that the game always TELLS us things that are important like this, but never actually SHOWS them. I am not even confident enough to say that DAO tried to do it while DA2 never did or failed to do so, because I do not remember most of that game, but I think that if the relationships changed between the companions I would remember that. If they did then it was, once again, never shown, just said. It is not enough.

Games are visual media. They NEED to show things.

#dragon age meta #dragon age 2 #fenris #anders #merrill #isabela #aveline #sebastian vael #bioware critical #also remember how Merrill had no quote #nothing to say about Mahariel if your Warden was Dalish?#what's with that?

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hiveswap · 7 months

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Ok sorry to do this again despite admitting I don't know shit the first time (I'm the "isn't it both" anon) but I had some more thoughts.

So, even tho being ex eastern bloc is defo relevant for certain analyses of current situations, I don't think it should play too hard into tryna determine whether a country you aren't from can be considered eastern Europe (tho i think it's valid to bring into it if it's about your own country probably? I am not a politically versed person) and one of the reasons I say this is that my mum is from Saxony which was part of the GDR.

The family had been preparing to leave for years and eventually did so a few months before reunification (kinda hilarious tbh) and I myself grew up in (former) western germany (tho i was born years after reuni anyway) so I never lived in the GDR or even in any former GDR states myself but my mother has always shared a lot of stories but that's besides the point.

And like... nobody is calling the ex GDR states (let alone germany as a whole) eastern Europe. There's even ppl who consider us western Europe (I think we're pretty firmly central but tbh western vs central as a distinction isn't as important (bc I do know central vs eastern carries a lot more weight n stuff) so I don't really care) despite part of our country having been eastern bloc. So when people (specifically non ex eastern bloc folks, you're obviously fine) use it as an argument it feels hypocritical.

And obviously ex GDR states had the support of other german states so it was much easier for them to recover but imo the modern day economics are way closer to helping determine whether a country is eastern Europe? Not geographically obvs but in my mind (feel free to correct me) eastern european is kinda like asian in that it shouldn't be an important distinction going by geography but in terms of politics and dynamics and stuff it very much is and it matters.

Like, eastern europeans, at least within Europe, dunno how true it is elsewhere, are kinda oppressed? Like, if I meet a western european (esp an english person) they're prolly not gonna be xenophobic to me when I tell them where I'm from but if I was like Belarusian or something, they might. And then there's the economic stuff and also like social progression.

I've heard a lot about eg LGBT rights in Hungary and stuff like that and no shade or anything ofc, especially to the LGBT ppl living there such as (i think?) yourself and the other Hungarians I follow, but it does feel a lot less progressive.

Things aren't perfect here either or anything but they're getting better, we've had marriage equality for same sex couples (not (all) nb or intersex ppl tho) for over half a decade, forced trans sterilisation was declared unconstitutional 12 years ago and we're finally getting that self-determination bill put into place next year and then I can get that d. D stands for diverse in this case, it's our third legal gender (tho we also have "none", none gender can't get married)

Meanwhile transitioning in Hungary was outlawed three years ago and there's plenty of other countries where it's still a struggle and all in all it just feels kinda... distinct? Like how scandinavian (or nordic in general) countries feel like they're on a different economic and societal level from us(excl), the latter especially in regards to sexism, education and incarceration but also other stuff.

Obvs there's always so many factors but it's always felt to me like they were, forgive me for simplifying, the "higher" tier of europeans in at least those areas compared to my life in central Europe. Grass is always greener somewhere I guess. But I'm gonna get back on track.

So even tho geographically it's hard to argue that Hungary isn't central Europe, I think it might be politically. And it's not the only country that feels like this to me, like eg Romania is geographically southeast but politically I personally view it as firmly eastern tho obvs I'm no authority.

Anyway, sorry this got so long lmao I have not been awake for long yet and my brain's a little squished lol. Hope this wasn't a completely useless read, sorry if it was. Keep on keeping on 👍

Oh hi i got scared for a sec when i saw that i got a whole block of text. I'm not really up to politics talk rn, but what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me!! Though i havent seen anyone consider romania central before, i've always thought of the border between us as the edge of central europe. Probably because of the timezone difference ngl

#asks #ask

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vahanians · 2 years

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answer all in detail I dare you this is for reminding me of dmmd

you’re never gonna let me live that down are u smh

EE here we goooooo

1: LOL no but i do think you’re a freak if you outright hate cats. theyre not doing anything to you they’re just chilling and you dont know how to read their body language. i get not liking dogs bc they can be scary but people who hate cats are always like “cats killed my parents and burned my house down so i think they should all be put down” like shut up freak

2: i think skin care is a scam tbh all u need is sunscreen if you’re gonna spend time in the sun but other than that just use normal water and soap ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i havent ever had issues with my skin w this method especially since i stopped wearing makeup. u dont need a 10 step routine with creams and serums you’re just spending money you could use elsewhere

3: i cringe everytime this is brought up. i think a lot of claims have roots in misogyny but i dont think its an actual axis of oppression and im tired of hearing about it

4: i dislike political lesbianism on an intimate level. there’s nothing wrong with wanting to center women in your life but you cant choose to be a lesbian. sexual orientation doesnt work that way. and a lot of political lesbians/lesbian feminists are just plain old homophobes who are disgusted by actual lesbians

5: love it wish i could live my life completely separate from men!! i think women should center women in their lives/surround themselves with other women. whether its only having female healthcare providers, having female educators, coworkers, friends etc; i think its incredibly important and more women should be less afraid of it

6: as a so-called gold star i dont understand the hate tbh if anything there should be more support for lesbians so they dont need to ~explore~ with men or force themselves to be with men. in a perfect world all lesbians would be gold stars because we would feel safe and comfortable in our sexualities from the get go

7: i think centering your feminism on your sexuality is a little silly. we have different experiences but we should be focused on liberation for ALL women. i think we have different priorities and i know hetfems can be extremely homophobic which is a huge problem. but like we’re all women so

8: personally? i get it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not only should women be able to access abortions for any reason, i completely understand not wanting to bring another male into this world. could u imagine having a male baby who grows up to be a pornsick patriarchal piece of shit? id kms

9: while i get the desire to ~go back to nature~ i think its kind of bullshit. we have science and medicine for a reason so get your flu shot and quit expecting elderberry syrup to be a miracle drug. ntm a solid majority of health supplements and herbal remedies are NOT fda approved so they’re full of toxic shit and like sawdust its not as healthy as you think it is. also preservatives good i like my junkfood tyvm

10: pastel blogs no but age regression? yeah tbh i dont understand wanting to treat yourself/be treated as a literal child when you’re a grown adult. its very icky to me and i do think that a good majority of it is fetishization of children/childhood its gross. you can like cute stuff and kid stuff without being a weirdo freak about it

11: bad i think all polyamory ppl are just looking for “ethical” ways to cheat on their partners with no repercussions. if you arent satisfied in your relationship you need to take a look at yourself and not go “oh ig i just need to fuck more people then”. polygamy is bad and used (esp in fundamentalist sects) to dominate women and keep them subservient to men all polygamists die challenge

12: i think veganism is an extremely restrictive diet and treating it as the be-all end-alll of moral superiority is just insane. humans are omnivores and beyond that, a lot of the vegan staples come from unsustainable and exploitative farming practices that put real workers at risk. also i think a lot of vegans are straight up annoying like shut up people like meat. we should be focusing on sustainable and humane farming practices not eradicating meat from our diets entirely.

13: ohhh i hate this question but??? i think gay men. from my experience straight women are so disgusted by the idea of lesbians and our attraction to women whereas gay men can understand where we’re coming from bc they face the same kind of attitude from men- we’re degenerates who are perverted and disgusting for being same sex attracted according to straight people

14: im not straight so its weird to answer this but tbh? i think its a good idea. protect yourselves from men who will hurt you and abuse you during the most intimate moments of your life, and protect yourself from stds and the dangers of pregnancy at the same time. tbh if all women went on a sex strike i think men would straight up die and thats a good thing

15: NOOOOO i hate this lmfao femmes are lesbians and even if they wear makeup/perform femininity it doesnt change that. tbh i dont get it and think all women should break free of the prison of femininity but that doesnt make them not lesbians

16: i think its fun! we need more magic in the world tbh and if that means you believe in astrology or crystals then good for u. if im being honest i have tarot decks that i use and its a good way to see your questions/issues in a different light. plus its fun. dont we all wish magic was real in some way? its when it trumps your respect/belief in actual science that it becomes a problem. ur crystals wont cure your mental illness but they can make u feel better wrt the power u place on them

17: eesh…..i want to say yes, but i also always want to point to rachel held evans and female pastors etc and go see!! women are taking back power in religion!!! its just so difficult because for a majority of history religion HAS been used to oppress women. i think if you’re a woman who is interested in religion you need to find women who share your beliefs & standards and find your community with them and not the church as a whole. re: a biblical perspective a lot of the stories do involve women in a way that isnt as shockingly misogynistic. there are stories of women among jesus’ disciples, stories of women rising up against their abusers & against corrupt men in positions of power etc i think its important to remember that the bible is first and foremost a document with its own historical context, one that comes from when women were little more than property and that its authors themselves were from that time as well

18: i guess? in the way that people can be shitty about bisexuals. but its not an axis of oppression in the same way homophobia/misogyny is. no one is banning bisexual marriage theyre banning homosexual marriage.

19: okay ): all jokes aside it might be immature but it can be extremely funny. i am not immune to 12 year old sense of humor

20: as an adult i feel weird about it like if youre a young teen im not gonna follow you/interact with you and i think we should all be more considerate of that. but if theyre being racist/homophobic/misogynistic being a minor isnt gonna save them from being told what theyre doing is shitty. we also need to be aware that kids learn from the adults around them so we have a responsibility to be good role models regardless of what we may think about it. there’s always going to be moments where we interact with minors so we need to make sure we’re instilling in them good values and confidence within themselves, ESPECIALLY young girls

21: bad. being a gay man doesnt make you not a man and means you still need to do the work when it comes to misogyny. you arent a women and shouldnt treat womanhood as a costume or a fun little jokey joke you can use on a whim.

22: why do they look like that. why are they so often so misogynistic (using derogatory terms for women, calling each other fishy etc). its never as respectful as drag kings are, it seems like theyre using ramped up and obnoxious performances of femininity to hate and mock women

23: if normal healthy sex isnt enough for you youre a freak who needs therapy tbh especially if your kinks are violent and degrading its just not healthy and im afraid you’re going to use it as an excuse to hurt and violate women. plus the idea that anything can be a kink is just microlabeling to an extreme. wanting to be praised during sex isnt a kink its normal. being attracted to hands isnt a kink theyre just nice looking and you appreciate the human body etc

24: i dont condone the usage of slurs in any context

25: what the fuck is this LMFAO??? OH WAIT is this like…the discourse around dating bi women bc some people think theyve been ~tainted~ from their experiences with men?? thats just bad and misogynistic lmfao

26: i think it can be dangerous for women (stds the risk of pregnancy how men use it as a tool to hurt and force women into submission) but i dont think its inherently degrading like blowjobs are

27: NO LMFAO THEYRE GAY i hate this way of thinking butch/femme is a huge part of lesbian culture and its irritating for it to be discounted. imitating heterosexuality would be like. sucking on strap (ew) and etc not simply just being butch/femme

28: um. i dont see the need just leave them alone. your pubes are there to protect your vulva theres no need to put product in them in fact it defeats the purpose. quit putting unnecessary products near your vulva people wtf

29: i dont think it exists lol i think there are people with little interest in sex people who have low libidos for one reason or another etc but especially from reading about how asexies describe wanting sex/seeing other people its just a product of extreme compartmentalization of sexuality. plus the idea that everyone who isnt asexual just wants to bone everyone they see is so ridiculous its laughable. in my personal experience i called myself ace as a young teen bc i didnt relate to conventional descriptions of attraction bc um i was just gay and we all experience attraction differently

30: not the ones who arent white i mean i have a horrible uscentric worldview that comes from being raised in the us so…but i think if you’re white you’re white but there are europeans of all heritages and races just like theres us americans of all heritages and races. but like youre not not white just bc ur italian yk?

#phew this took a lot out of me

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waitingforeddyneddy · 7 months

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Hollywood is literally blacklisting people who speak out about Israel being a genocidal state which is why many actors/musicians etc are staying silent.

Boycotting paramount won’t do shit. The only thing that will help Palestinians is pressuring the people who have political power to help save them. Y’all’s slacktivism is really insane and annoying.

As for JB traveling to Israel - people in the west, particularly the US and UK are not taught about Palestinians, Nakba, etc. From an early age they’re all taught that Israel is the one being oppressed. You’ll see many people who have traveled to Israel prior change their stance once they educate themselves.

I will take an actors silence over the over Zionism of other Hollywood stars. Bella Hadid is getting literal death threats for speaking out. And as someone who works in Hollywood, I know for a fact, as I said earlier, people are being blacklisted for even being pro “ceasefire” which is the bare minimum.

People are bringing up simone because you’re a stan of hers, which is fine, but she also hasn’t said shit about Palestine or Israel, as is her right, because people are being fired left and right for standing on the right side of history.

Hate JB all you want, I literally don’t care, I’m not even a huge fan of him at this point but people are calling out your hypocrisy and jumping to conclusions about who is a Zionist and who is not. JB went to Israel years ago, yes (I didn’t even see the pictures tbh that’s how far removed I am from celebrity socials), from all accounts was called out for it. Deleted the pictures and who is to say that he DIDN’T educate himself? He hasn’t posted any pro Israel shit since then and has smartly kept his mouth shut for now because he knows his project was produced by Zionists. I guarantee most of these people are terrified to say anything.

Major kudos to Nicola since she is the ONLY one in the bridgerton cast who has been unabashedly vocal about #freepalestine. Which is funny since most of you freaky kathony Stans HATE her. (And before you start I literally hate Penelope and Colin so don’t even try to paint me with a stan brush)

Your comments are irresponsible trying to paint JB as a Zionist when we have no fucking clue where his position lies. Much like we don’t know where simone’s, charithra’s, Rege’s, Luke’s, Luke’s, etc lies. Instead check out that list of actors who signed no hostage left behind - those are the real people you should take issue with.

Start protesting and calling your politicians. Boycotting paramount won’t do shit to help Palestinians. The US’s President is co-signing genocide right now and he is only gonna give a shit if he thinks he’s in danger of losing the next election. (Not saying you’re from the US - just giving this as an example).

I was about to respond to each of your points but then I saw you wrote “you freaky kanthony stans” and I honestly can’t take you seriously.

I also don’t believe you when you say you’re not a huge JB fan cause you sound pretty angry and out of breath. Your constant saying “boycotting Paramount won’t do shit” is ridiculous cause nobody here is saying it will end the conflict. It’s just a way to get back at them by not providing money for their subscription and going for 🏴‍☠️ if you really are interested in the story and if you just wanna watch your fave’s new project

Also LMAO at you for saying JB wasn’t educated about Israel, fucking stop saying a privileged white man who comes from money doesn’t know. Every fucking western country supports Israel in the media that doesn’t mean we are mindless robots. I live in southern Italy, I’ve been against Israel since the moment I started to develop critical thinking skills despite my humble upbringing and social status 🤡

It’s pathetic, stop with this bullshit

#fellow travelers #jonathan bailey #asks

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hisandsnakes · 7 months

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This isn’t really an argument for or against him or anyone else, but Hollywood and many other industries are full of Zionist elites who can have anyone’s career ruined (just look at how many people have been fired so far from other professions, like journalists, simply for saying “Free Palestine” or liking Pro-Palestinian posts). So honestly it’s unsurprising to me why half of celebs aren’t speaking out publicly. Also wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than just career threats across all these industries tbh. I will say though, in regard to P, as you highlighted, he is a Chilean refugee whose own parents were forced to flee (with him as a baby) from a U.S-backed and Isr*eli-supported coup that put Pinochet’s fascist regime in power. He also demonstrated a Pro-Palestine stance back in 2021 when he still had Twitter, so I think we can at least guess where he personally stands. And to be honest, given how many other celebs have been posting neutral ‘both sides’ bs, sharing misinformation and spreading Isr*eli propaganda, I’m glad he’s at least not joining in on all that shit. We also just don’t really need every single celeb to ‘weigh in’ with their geopolitical commentary because most of them are ignorant af and tend to just take publicly neutral positions, which is not helpful, at all... If they can’t take the time to truly educate themselves before speaking or are afraid to speak, then the most helpful thing they can do is to just stop opening their mouths and start opening their purses instead to support Palestinian relief funds.

This also may just be my cynical side, but I really don’t believe that that ceasefire letter which Oscar and some odd-50 celebs signed to the U.S. government is going to do anything at all to make Biden’s administration move. It’s at best a hollow effort. The U.S. government will always, always support, fund, cover up, and LIE for Isr*el and all it’s atrocities. It WANTS Isr*el in the Middle East because they are essentially their military presence there—Biden himself defended Isr*el’s existence back in the 80s for this very reason. A colonial government that has interfered, divided, destabilised, destroyed, and massacred the Middle East for decades is simply not going to bend over to some celebs writing a neural letter politely asking for them to get Isr*el to ceasefire... A ceasefire alone will not end the apartheid and oppression; it’ll just go back to business as usual. Like these celebs are using only 2% of their brains if they think a ceasefire will magically solve everything. Netanyahu must also be tried for his war crimes. The IDF must be dismantled. And the Palestinians must have their freedom restored and ALL their occupied land to be returned to them. They should have included all that in their letter too if they want their gesture to at least be actually meaningful.

All that said, I think the only actual hope is the collective threat of Russia, China, and the global South all stepping in to intervene. The West needs to be threatened at this point because nothing else is working.

(Sorry for this mini-rant in your inbox. Witnessing the world governments’ active support for this genocide is the most infuriating, devastating thing I have ever witnessed in my relatively short lifetime. My heart breaks everyday for the Palestinians.)

Well don’t be sorry because this was very interesting to read and i actually agree with all of it.

Also i didn’t know P demonstrated a pro palestinian stance a few years ago, do you remember what he said ?

Same my heart breaks for the palestinians and i can’t stand the injustice..

Thank you for sharing your opinion and for your insight on this 🤍

(I wish i could say more but english is not my first language so i can’t find the words to express all i want but you did it so that’s good!)

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fangtastic-vampyra · 8 months

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TAKE ONE...... RECOVERING FROM COVID/UNPLEASTANTRIES....

i love this shirt, forever, <333

CAT EYEZ sunglasses

AND DONT KNOW WHETHER IM A BOY OR A GIRL, I THINK IM A CROSSDRESSER, IDK, HAHAHAHA.

(z courtesy of reminders of Louis..this retrograde umm.. He is always typing that way, (z instead of s) I am so glad I met him, he's my EX but I keep thinking about him, like we wanted to be each others primary, ) idek, I really thought our relationship was so innocent and cute, but meanwhile, Im trying to find my next meal and he's painting his nails and wont' buy me a drink when we go out.. idek.. but it was cute, and I would have married him..a few men i would have.. idk.. i think though, genuinely, im with or know or am about to find him. a few wanted to put a ring on it, but things just didnt work out, and havent popped out any kids yet... so >_> idek... hoping im not but i feel so weird rn.

even though im like mid sex change umm, no one talks about this, omgg..theres literally NOTHING, is it embarassing to people like fo srs i think its very fun and interesting.

tbh tho..im nonbinary (but i dont often remember when i act like a girl um) but i hate ugh... ugh hate being female soo soo much, it it wasnt the oppression, the overbaring patriarchy, and men literally hitting on females, like...idek... i wish i was a lesbian!!!, but im not, though i find i do want women to like me, but like, as a friend or a maaayyybe a bit more, like to have a good relationship with other women and to encourage having female friends with each other-- instead of worrying about stupid dudes that hurt us.. ugh...

idk, >_> I wasnt uh, lesbian with Livvy, Im a TRANS GUY.

LIKE ON HRT, THREE YEARS, PRETTY MUCH NO GOING BACK NOW, BUT I DONT THINKI WANT TO BE LIKE, A 50 YR OLD DUDE, MAYBE ILL STILL LOOK GOOD THO??,

Louis made my life beauitufl, I am enjoying the Dark side .... Industrial, REAL FUBAR SHIT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED that he has pictures of, and struggling along.. Louis only got SSI too... Brenden gets child support for Jette and he is about to get hired as a maintenance, he is always running around cleaning.

TRULY-- I like people that liek downers cause Im so nervous. And MYSELF? i LIKE THE NEED FOR SPEED. But..... I dont do speed! Only a few lines. Yaknow. Literally. A few. Years and years and years and years. And I got on meds, and Im becoming a lot more wholesome. TBH. asking mum how shes doing and what she thinks of stuff and sharing recipes with her, like a FAMILY. They started the drugging out shit though, and i dont mind a drink here and there, im mostly a cig smoke these days, and cloves, i took a few puffs of weed and got nervous like and was hungry three hours later and felt bad like it had something wrong with it, idk do not want them to the point that they get violent, but you arent suppose to go over your limit with anything! Mum would come home and bark out orders and tlel me what im doing wrong, like she gave me three compliments in my life..the v2k (fake schizo voices cuz im a targeted individual) ... said.. she abandoned me in a parking lot!! pfft. Brendan said dont pay attn to that crap.

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army-of-mai-lovers · 3 years

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in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough.

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.”

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role.

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all.

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.”

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.”

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~”

y’all WHAT.

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back.

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai.

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too.

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!”

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse.

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.)

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out.

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show.

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.”

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring.

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what?

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her.

Conclusion

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked.

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here.

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice.

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us.

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goldentsum · 3 years

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— oh my empress: aoba johsai palace

CHARACTERS: oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro

TAGS: suggestive themes, smut, angst, historical au where women have the ‘superior’ status, pet names, ‘cheating’ but is it really cheating tho? idk empress x concubines have such confusing relationship status, unrequited love, dom-ish! empress! reader, concubine! males, praising

ROUTE: aoba johsai palace: you are here.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this idea was lurking in my mind every single day so i tried to write it HAHAHAHA very angsty tho. unedited bleghhh :p

— oikawa ♡

• a clingy concubine!! he fr thinks that yall should just make it official official so that he can stand by you in the throne room as your one and only man

• he’ll talk smack about the other concubines. it’s canon.

• also, oikawa knows all the gossip in the palace

• oikawa always tells you that he loved you even when you two were younger and no one can ever love you like he loves you

• when he was younger, his mother is one of the officials in court and the woman always brought him along

• and before he knew it, it was normal for him to go to court with his mother.

• oh how he remembers it clearly. you in that soft white kimono, smiling brightly as you giggle, while your handmaidens gently pushing you on the swing. your perfectly adorned hair framing your pretty face.

• you were so beautiful and oikawa just can’t help but know you. though as a male, it would be proven difficult, but his mother was one of the officials and tried to talk to you

• oikawa thought at first that you were a child of another official too and to his big surprise, you were the crown princess!

• you still tease him to this day about how cocky he was at first, trying to impress you.

• he loves it when you spend time with him and go to his room for procreating...

• it always feels like you’ve chosen him. chose him to spend your limited free time with him among your many concubines

• maybe in the future, he can be your prince like you are his glowing empress.

“your highness, i’m really happy that you’re here...” he hic-ed, his lips trembling as he looked up at you with a red blush on his face. his once immaculate kimono draped his body loosely while you run your hands up and down his chest, admiring the milky and soft skin.

you smiled at him and leaned down, placing a small kiss on his forehead making him gasp. you softly whispered against his skin, “i’m here, sweet prince”

oikawa whimpered softly, heart beating harshly at the sweet pet name as tears pricked his eyes. your hands trailed down his stomach, feeling his clenching muscles. you leaned further down, trailing hot wet kisses on his neck, and slowly started grinding on top of him.

the pretty male gasped, his hands flying up to wrap his arms around you. you chuckled at his reaction and the prominent hard-on that was nudging your thigh.

“such a cute reaction you have, sweet prince~” you teased, your hot breath hitting oikawa’s sensitive neck. you let your hand go to his hair, running through the messy tresses and your nails scratching his scalp gently. oikawa’s eyes rolled to his skull and letting his head hung back, giving you more space to his neck. his hips jerking when you continued the slow and agonizing pace of your grinding.

“p-please... y-your highness... touch me more..” he whispered, the massive blush on his skin so delectable. you smiled and faced him. oikawa’s half-lidded eyes stared at you with love and need. you placed a soft kiss on his lips making him moan. the kiss turned messy and hot in an instant.

oikawa opened his mouth, letting your slick tongue in. you swallowed his moans when you started playing with his tongue and your fingers thumbing his nipples. his kimono rustled and crumpled as you moved it off his shoulders.

tooruu loves you so much that it hurts. your soft touch wasn’t making it easier for him to deny you. he tried to shove the feelings he had for you but whenever you smiled at him, it starts to build up again.

it was as easy as that. you had him wrapped around your fingers and you don’t even know.

his hands clenching your red kimono as if he were to loosen even just a bit, you’d disappear. just like before...

— iwaizumi ♡

• an intellectual concubine who deals with affairs in court!

• the other concubines are scared of him!

• but he doesn’t know that so shhh! this baby thinks that they’re just shy and just didn’t know him so they talk to him

• iwaizumi wants to be useful to you. not just a baby maker who comes and goes.

• he never intended to fall in love with you. he really didn’t. he became a concubine because oikawa dragged him into it when the former was up for the exam.

• iwaizumi relented because he thought if he’s at court, he can do something about the oppression that was happening around towards males.

• he wants to change it and he thought that he was just a mere concubine in your court so he can do something about it without having to deal with you. you were an empress that embraced and welcomed many men in your court.

• though, he didn’t know how much he was able to feel so loved when he met you.

• so his objective changed, though only a little. he wants to be called as your lover that changed the views of society.

• but he admits that there was a lot of competition in court. most especially for your affection and attention. iwaizumi saw a lot of other males ruining and fighting when you were not present.

• but he won’t participate in it, he won’t stoop so low. though when another concubine started telling lies about you having favorites and being unfair, he mayhaps fought talked with him.

“y-your majesty! we can’t do this here!” iwaizumi gasped, placing a shaky hand on your arm as you pressed him against the shelves of your private library

you chuckled and leaned against him, trailing kisses with your lips on his neck. you felt him shiver when you placed a wet kiss on his pulse while your hands groped and caressed his body through his thick kimono.

“why not?~” you asked, biting his ear. iwaizumi gasped, his knees buckling a bit while he supported himself on the shelf. iwaizumi always tells you that you shouldn’t waste your time with him. he was so different from the usual concubines in your court. he wasn’t pretty nor delicate like them... but that what makes him so addicting to you.

“i think you deserve a break, sweetie~ i heard all about your accomplishment in my court. may i say how impressed i am” you cooed and leaned a bit to face him. you looked him straight in his eyes making him a little shy at your unwavering gaze that was filled with adoration.

iwaizumi closed his eyes tightly and hugged you, hiding his warm face in your neck. it was inappropriate to just hug the empress like this and normally, he wouldn’t do this but he just felt so much in the moment.

he made you proud. you’re proud of him. it was all for you. you.

iwaizumi heard you chuckled, feeling the light vibration through his clothes. he felt you lean away and he let you. you pressed your forehead against his, caressing his warm red cheek. “you worked hard, hajime”

the man whimpered and pressed a hard and needy kiss on your lips as you hummed in approval. he let you guide him through the kiss as your tongue slithered in his cavern, playing with his tongue.

god, you tasted so good. your lips felt heavenly against him. if he can, he’ll kiss you forever.

your hand trailed up to his hair, massaging his scalp and he moaned into the kiss. you felt the hard nudge against your thigh which make you smirk, as much as you can while kissing.

you then jutted your leg between his, your thigh pressing against his hard-on. iwaizumi gasped, holding onto you.

he looked into you and he shivered when he saw your dark gaze as your eyes swirled with lust.

before he can do anything, a voice called out from the door outside. “your highness? the court awaits for you in the throne room”

you sighed in annoyance but slowly removed your body away from iwaizumi which made the male whine unconsciously at the lost of your heat. you smiled at him and held his face, swiping your thumb lightly against his pink lips. “i’ll see you later, sweets~” and went out of the library, leaving him alone in silence and with his thoughts.

the male sighed.

hajime knows he can’t make you love him like he loves you but that’s okay. as long as he gets to be by your side, it’s okay. it really was okay... to be able to hold you was a miracle for him and he ended up loving you way too much.

not many would remember him and his work in your court but he wishes something more than anything else.

when all of these moments pass and he’s all but a grain in the wide earth, he hopes that the world can remember how much he loved you.

— matsukawa ♡

• mattsun doesn’t know how he got in your court tbh

• he was just lounging around his estate then his mother slammed his door open and told him he’s gonna be a concubine for the empress

• at first he doesn’t know what to feel cus a concubine? for the empress? him? fr?

• though when he met you, you were kinda intimidating tbh. he was nervous because he knows the status of men in court and in society in general.

• but when he found out that you were chill about it and actually cared about him well them?

• he mayhaps softened

• mattsun is usually seen in the garden with makki, just talking shit about some desperate concubines they see around

• when you started visiting him in the palace he resides in with the other 3, he thought he was sick with how fast his heart was beating.

• he never really paid any attention to other women, finding them annoying with how boasty they get about their status whenever he’s in a match-making visit.

• but you talked to him like he was a human being, like you see him for him and not his status in society.

• when mattsun gets comfortable, he’s very tease-y because he likes hearing you laugh. call him whipped but he doesn’t care.

• he wants to see your bright eyes looking at him. him. just him. your smile sent towards his way.

• when you consummated that one night for the first time, he got overwhelmed with the way you were soft and let him lead though still maintaining your aura of authority.

• whenever he thinks about that night, the butterflies in his stomach starts again. mattsun would thank his mother right now if he can for letting him have the opportunity to meet you and to actually hold you.

you chuckled when he started pecking your face with multiple kisses as his larger body pressed against yours, pinning you down in the soft and thick futon in his room in the palace.

“still so clingy, issei~” you teased but the male only hummed with a small and warm smile on his lips while he continues to litter your face and neck with his kisses. you felt his warm hands touch your skin softly, the feeling of his soft hands on your body always made you feel a little softer.

you reached up and held his face, squishing it so that his lips were all pouty. you laughed at his expression and kissed his lips.

mattsun could feel it again. the butterflies in his stomach. the harsh beating of his heart. he hoped that you wouldn’t hear it. he wants to maintain this calm and apathetic that goes with the flow kind of vibe.

if you knew how much he loved you, he doesn’t know what he would do. these feelings were too much for the young man.

mattsun wants to be with you all the time, he wants to feel you all the time. to have and to hold you.

when you released your hold on his face to run your fingers through his hair and massaging the back of his neck, he started kissing you deeper.

he swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for permission. you hummed and opened your mouth which he eagerly accepted.

his hands then held your thighs, squeezing and fondling the thick meat. matsukawa groaned into the kiss when you wrapped your legs around his waist, making his groin press against your heat. at the small action, he started kissing you more feverishly, his hands touching every skin and starting to remove your kimono.

so needy. desperate even. to touch you. to feel you again. to sink into the delusion that you two were two lovesick couple in your own small little world.

you chuckled, albeit muffled by matsukawa’s lips still working against yours, you let your legs drop from his waist making him whine and break the kiss in confusion.

“i thought we were finished and you’re letting me go back?” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely. issei rolled his eyes playfully, though he knows he shouldn’t but you just felt so familiar and you make him sp comfortable in your presence that it scared him a little because he does all sorts of things.

“i am~ but you’re making it a little harder than usual, my empress” he teased back, bumping his nose against yours while his lazy smirk that you loved so much appeared in his lips.

“am i?~” you bit back, replying with your own smirk. mattsun let his eyes drop and go to your lips. mesmerized by it. it was so red. so beautiful. so soft. so kissable.

“well you have to let me go, issei. you hogged me for the whole day, needy~” you poked his cheek which he bit playfully making you chuckle. mattsun let go of your finger and placed a small kiss on it. “well, i am your favorite right? i have the right to take your time~” he teased again

“of course” you whispered, stroking his face. mattsun’s eyes softened at that and leaned closer to your hands.

“i have to go, issei...” his lazy smirk wavered a bit at your words but he straightened it. fortunately for him, you didn’t noticed.

mattsun nodded and sat up, letting you sit up too. you pressed a soft kiss on his lips and fixed your kimono and hair to look presentable as you leave.

you stood up and was about to go out but a large hand held yours. you looked down at him and smiled, squeezing his hand before letting go and going out

he watched you exit his room, his heart clenching painfully. issei let out a shaky breath and held his forehead, chuckling pathetically.

it was painful to see you come and go. it was his fault for feeling like this, not yours... it’s his fault for falling in love with you, the empress, when he’s just a mere concubine in your court.

he cursed and gripped his chest, where his heart was.

he dreaded this and he knows that there would be a time where he’ll see a man by your side. and all he can do is wish that it was him that you chose.

— hanamaki ♡

• he’s a chill concubine

• makki just hangs around here and there, not minding any of the loud concubines when they’re in your palace.

• he also doesn’t do anything to capture your attention but weirdly enough that made you intrigued

• his soft pink hair was always your favorite. you always tell him this that he had the prettiest hair you’ve seen. that it was so unique and whenever all of your concubines are in your court, you can spot him easily.

• makki being the middle child with two sisters mean that there was barely attention given to him in his household.

• so the male wasn’t familiar with compliments and gets a little too shy when he receives it. and especially from you? the empress, the most powerful woman in the country?

• his father brought him up when his mother took his sisters with her.

• he remembers the muffled shout, “i don’t need a good for nothing male!”

• hanamaki doesn’t really care anymore, deciding to isolate himself but his father was ambitious.

• his father pushed him to the empress, telling him to get ahead. that he can raise their status. he was the shining hope for the two of them.

• makki didn’t know what to do when he first came to your court but you were there to ease his nerves though he’d admit he thought you were a guard from the way you dressed. you loved sneaking around, wearing different uniforms. though makki had his suspicions because there was no way a guard could look so beautiful..

• may the gods help him. he was falling in love with you. and fast.

this was bad. really bad. but he can’t stop. not now. not now that he has experienced what it was like to be in your arms. to feel your lips against his.

but the guilt was slowly eating him away. mattsun, his best friend, loved you and takahiro promised to help the former with you but here he was. warming your bed, stroking every skin he could touch.

“what’s wrong, cherry blossom?” you asked, breath heavy from his actions. makki leaned his head against your thigh, looking at you. you’re so beautiful.

your eyes half-lidded, chest heaving heavy pants from your previous orgasm as your red lips curled into a breathless smile.

you run your fingers through his hair, looking at him with confusion. makki let out an amused sigh and shook his head, pushing down any guilt that he felt.

he doesn’t want to remember that. he doesn’t want to be reminded. right now he wants to focus on you. you. nothing else but loving you.

“nothing, my queen” he hummed and leaned closer to your wet cunt again, tongue swiping against the puffy clit making you shiver at the sensitivity. you sighed, eyes rolling back to your skull as makki gently sucked and licked you.

you gripped his hair, hips jutting against his mouth. makki hummed against you, his cock twitching excitedly, as his actions got faster when he saw that you were ready for more. oh, how he lives to please you.

to see you come undone before his eyes was truly heavenly.

but takahiro knew this was a bad idea. he didn’t want to do this to his best friend... he knew that issei loves you... but here he was, enjoying your every touch, every affection, and every moan your pretty lips releases.

if he can redo everything and decline his father’s wishes and honor his friend’s feelings, he knows what he'll do...

he would be here again and again, waiting for you.

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writterings · 3 years

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Hi I appreciate this is a personal question so if you’re not comfortable answering there is absolutely no pressure to, but how did you know you were a trans guy and not a butch lesbian? Because I’m having a bit of an identity crisis atm and I’m finding it hard to find resources etc to help me. I hope you’re having a pleasant day/evening/night

well first i figured out that i wasn't a lesbian to begin with. i genuinely was attracted to men, but i didn't really acknowledge that aspect of myself because loving women felt more radical to me and, tbh, i was also afraid of men at that point in my life for trauma reasons. also i had been raised catholic and so loving girls when i was a girl was just so liberating to me and felt so good. but i was still attracted to men and getting a crush on a dude helped me first realize i wasn't a lesbian. this is obviously just my experience, of course, and isn't universal.

and of course, there can be GNC/butch bi women - but this next part is what really cinched it to me.

when i had a crush on that guy i mentioned, he actually had assumed i was a trans guy/non-binary but trans masc leaning. and he was gay, so he was only attracted to me if i was a man/man-aligned. we didn't know each other that well so there was so there was a lot of miscommunication on each of our parts about my gender and his sexuality. but him seeing me as a guy and me liking that he was attracted to me as a guy -- well, just opened up a whole new world of gender euphoria. i had never conceptualized myself as a guy before and having someone else view me as such without me telling them explicitly how i wanted to be viewed?? that was gender euphoria to the max. again, not everyone's experience, but that was mine.

after that, i started experimenting more. changed my identity to "nb trans masc bisexual" or smth along those lines. it probably switched per week and i probably even went back to butch lesbian at times just because it felt right. (this guy and i never dated, and i wasn't dating anyone else at the time so i had a bit more freedom in switch my labels without people being like "if you're a lesbian why are you dating a guy??") eventually my mom "accused" me of being a trans guy (she wasn't accepting at first but now is very supportive) and pointed out all the obvious "facts" towards it and i was like "oh fuck i guess i'm a trans guy, huh"

("facts" here being stereotypes and the assumption that just because an AFAB person dresses masculine that they're trans, but that's besides the point)

but even after that, i still struggled with whether i was actually a butch lesbian/bi woman or a trans man. this is mainly because in my relative case, being a butch lesbian would have been easier as my parents at the time would have preferred me being GNC & gay but cis (or nb but not open about it), instead of outright trans. (again this is in my relative case, and is not a statement that reflects everyone's reality nor how systemic oppression works)

right now i'm happy as a trans man and i think this is the label that describes my experiences the best and it's the label i prefer. i'll probably die with this label, though the one for my sexuality often changes.

SO basically i just said all this to kinda give you an idea of how fucky gender can be, especially with the added equation of figuring out your sexuality. as a society, we often associate loving women with being a man, and loving men with being a woman, so we always have to deconstruct these internalized aspects of ourselves whenever figuring something out like this. or, at least, that's how i feel about it as i only realized i was a man when another man i wanted to love recognized me as one, shattering the internalized idea (that i wasn't even aware of) i had that if i loved a man, that it made me a woman. so, basically, if you're struggling then i recommend analyzing your sexuality a bit too and your concepts of how love/sex relates to gender for you.

also, if i'm honest, a good way start to determining your gender is just finding out what label is the easiest for you to exist in. i identified as a butch lesbian for a long time because it was the easiest for me to identify as, and because it felt better than anything i knew before. when i realized i wasn't a butch lesbian, and even after i realized i was a trans guy, i still didn't give people a label if they asked me. it wasn't their business and i was ultimately unsure. it was easier that way to identify unaligned or as another gender, despite how it wasn't reflective of how i actually felt. and that's a valid experience in itself!

but after you are finally to a point in which you don't have to care about "easy" over "happiness" then i recommend trying to discover what gender/label makes you the happiest. being a trans man has been hard and the opposite of easy, especially in the early years when it came to my parents and me acknowledging my gender dysphoria, but it is what makes me the happiest. being a butch lesbian was a great experience for me, and i have a lot of love for that version of myself. however, being a man is a whole other level for me - to the point where every moment ISN'T euphoric. it's just normal, it's just right, it's just who i am. i no longer get excited when being gendered or seen as a man - just because it's normal. the happiness of it is just now a regular part of my life. whereas when i was a a butch lesbian, i was constantly aware of how happy my presentation made me feel - or how unhappy i was still being seen as a woman.

at the end of the day, you don't need a label unless you want one. you're allowed to just exist however you are. you can even use multiple labels, mess with typical ones, or even make stuff up. there's no rules to this shit.

anyways, again, these are all just my experiences and my life. my advice may not be applicable towards you, but i still hope there was something you could glean out of it. good luck on everything!

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rosemary-is-in-pesterquest · 3 years

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okay I gotta get something off my chest about Eridan's pesterquest route cuz I never see anyone get annoyed about it and it drives me nuts. y'know how he talks about liking wearing feminine clothing and talks about gender identity stuff? it's been forever since I've revisited this, but basically, I thought it was super weird the first time I played that route cuz it kind of like... mischaracterizes Alternian society?

like, hear me out cuz this shit gets a little odd. first of all, gender arguably meant very little to the trolls in terms of social restrictions or roles and expectations, and I think that's because of the broader theme of the trolls having different issues than the humans. see, it was always sort of a part joke, part worldbuilding, part social commentary sort of thing, that some things that were a big deal to humans weren't a big deal to trolls, and vise versa. for example, sexuality is basically a non-existent issue for trolls, and due to the way reproduction and genetic diversity works in their species, it's basically impossible for them to care about incest as we know it, and gender doesn't seem to matter as much to them socially when it comes to dating. meanwhile, the humans don't understand anything about the hemospectrum, and the complicated web of issues faced by those lower or higher on that spectrum. we see everyone struggle with their position, from Feferi putting in the work of staving off genocide by keeping her lusus fed, to Equius's trouble reconciling his natural inclination to behave subserviently with his class's expectation that he subjugate those lower on the spectrum, to Vriska's own struggle to survive by ruthless means... high bloods don't necessarily have things easier. but those lower on the hemospectrum are subjected to a lot of cruel systemic threats, which are often the direct result of the expectations that high bloods face. it's all pretty complicated, and the human kids are at a total loss... they have no clue about any of this.

so with that being the case... the things that Eridan was saying about his gender identity just seemed like they were issues imported from human society, rather than issues that would actually manifest that way on Alternia. on Alternia, it's doubtful that anyone would give a shit about gender identity, to the point where I doubt there'd really be much discussion around it. Alternia is kind of a rude and ornery place by nature... part of the joke is that Altenians may be literal aliens called trolls, but their society also produces a population of rude and ornery people that communicate primarily online... making them also internet trolls in the expected sense. therefore, if they find something that they can pick on you for, they will do it. Vriska clearly displays that this is a no-holds-barred kind of bullying, when she harasses Tavros for having a disability that she caused... and that makes cultural sense because Alternia has such a heavy focus on resilience, and physical strength. they're very survival oriented, so making fun of someone for a perceived physical flaw is very in character, no matter how horrible it is. but nobody makes fun of anyone over, say, sexuality. because it is literally unremarkable, and it would not get under anyone's skin to mention it. it's not even out of benevolence that nobody touches that topic... it's literally not on anyone's radar, because it doesn't matter. and I think gender identity is the same way. the only mention of gender I even remember from the trolls in homestuck, was Karkat telling Tavros that he should stop playing games that are for girls... but what Karkat meant was "stop playing games where you're likely to get murdered" because the girls he was talking about were TEREZI AND VRISKA. the game is called FATAL live action role playing, and Vriska explicitly uses the game to KILL PEOPLE. and that's literally the only thing I can remember about the trolls mentioning gender amongst each other. outside of that, it seemed similarly off of their radar, and a lot of the troll girls are so excellent as characters because they aren't subject to the narrative making them adhere to human "girl expectations".

and all of this makes it a lot more transparent that what the writing in Eridan's pesterquest route was really trying to do, was retcon the whole "March Eridan" meme of old, into something more progressive than it actually was. originally, the joke was just "boy in awkward looking drag = funny joke" and/or people finding it hot, which is like... standard fare for that era of fandom, but your mileage may vary on how irritating you find it. they could've just left that whole thing in the past, or just mentioned that he had the outfit in his wardrobe as a cheeky little wink/nudge to people who know what it's getting at... but no. they had to have him go on some lengthy monologue about gender identity, which Eridan in actual homestuck probably wouldn't have thought about for 2 seconds... and then they follow it up with the whole Sollux conflict?!??!!!

I'm sorry, Eridan barely knew Sollux existed and probably would never have given him the time of day before he got involved with Feferi. and Sollux and Feferi similarly had absolutely nothing to do with each other until he saved her as they were entering the medium. he literally died for her, but prior to that, I'm pretty sure they didn't know each other at all. and, and, AND. Sollux mainly needed Feferi as a rebound to help him fill the void left behind when he lost Aradia! Aradia has not died in pesterquest! Sollux has a bit of a thing for girls with chipper demeanors who act as a counterbalance to his negative outlook. but tbh, Aradia is a better fit for him because she acknowledges macabre and depressing things, but doesn't let it get her down. Sollux's troubles are acknowledged with a genuinely warm response, rather than glossed over with a coat of sunny optimism. Feferi tries to help Sollux, but it isn't perfect... and then Eridan crashes into the middle of it all expecting even more wild shit from Feferi, who honestly just can't catch a break.

so basically, if Aradia hasn't died, then Sollux has no reason to be interested in Feferi. and if Sollux isn't interested in Feferi, then Eridan has no reason to give a shit about Sollux. and when you add that to the gender thing... Eridan's whole route totally unravels. I'm not saying I don't support the idea of Eridan being GNC or trans in some way... I'm saying he probably doesn't have an oppression narrative because of it on Alternia. the whole point of the difference between Alternia and Earth standards, is to lampoon the importance of both of their issues, by showing a contrasting society that just doesn't have the hangups that the other side considers to be SO fundamental and SO important. it's like whoever wrote that route didn't understand this at all.

OOOO THIS WAS A VERY INTERESTING READ

#eridan's pq having him be oppressed for being gnc was indeed very weird

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grailfinders · 3 years

Text

Fate and Phantasms #159

Today on Fate and Phantasms we bring you the outlaw star himself, Assassin of Shinjuku! As always, it’s hard to go into detail about Sassyshin’s abilities without giving away his identity, so true name spoilers below the cut.

Check out his build breakdown below, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Wait a minute, I thought King Arthur was a girl!

This build blends Yan Qing’s Shadow Monk techniques with the Doppelganger’s shapeshifting, here represented by the Whispers Bard levels. Kill people, steal their identity, repeat!

Race and Background

Technically Yan Qing is part ghost, but it’s a lot easier to call him a Variant Human instead. If you really want to lean into the doppelganger thing Changeling’s right there, but then you won’t get +1 Dexterity and Charisma, Acrobatics proficiency to jump up entire castles with ease, and the Observant feat to show off why they call you the Skillful Star. This feat gives you +1 Wisdom, the ability to read lips, and you get +5 to your passive Perception and Investigation scores so your disguises are a bit more detailed.

Of course you get the Criminal background, giving you Deception and Stealth proficiencies.

Ability Scores

Speaking of being the Skillful Star, all that martial arts training should make your Dexterity pretty freaking high. After that is Charisma, you’re really good at disguises, and almost as good at making convincing arguments. Almost. After that is Wisdom for more skill and more observational skills. Your Constitution isn’t half bad, you can take a lot of damage and keep going. When you’re fighting against Guda. When you’re actually on their team, that’s a different story. Your Strength should probably be a bit higher, but it’s not very useful for the build. Finally, dump Intelligence. Sassy-shin is many things to many people, but Himbo is definitely one of them.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: Starting with monk will help you get your shirtless scenes going earlier thanks to your Unarmored Defense giving you an AC based on your dexterity and wisdom. You also get some Martial Arts, letting you use dexterity instead of strength when fighting, giving you a minimum of a d4 in damage when using unarmed attacks, and you can attack as a bonus action if you attack as an action.

On top of all that, you also get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves as well as Athletics for even better climbing skills and Insight, because you can’t manipulate people if you don’t know what they want.

2. Monk 2: Second level monks get Ki points each short rest equal to their monk level. Currently, that lets you Dash, Disengage, Dodge, or Attack Twice as a bonus action, but more stuff will come up as we go. Your Unarmored Movement also lets you move just a bit faster while shirtless.

3. Bard 1: Your impersonation powers come from the doppelganger, a fictional creature (also you’re fictional, but hush), so bard’s as good as any class to get their powers from. Grabbing bard second gives you Perception proficiency for even more detailed disguises, as well as Bardic Inspiration. Right now they’re a pool of d6s that recharge on long rests. You can hand out to allies to help them with their d20 rolls-checks, saves, attacks, all that good stuff. Unless your DM somehow incorporated C. Stars into their game, this is one of the closest ways you have to get the actual Skillful Star skill in D&D.

Beyond that, you also learn a couple Spells that use your Charisma to cast. Light helps your dumb human eyes see in the dark and also do the glowy hand thing. It won’t actually help with damage, but it looks cool, and that’s what’s really important. You also get Vicious Mockery, tbh stealing the memory of an enemy’s loved ones means you can get some really disturbing insults.

For first level spells, grab Bane for more insults, Disguise Self for a cheapo disguise that doesn’t even work physically, Longstrider to press your speed advantage further, and Heroism, because you’re a pretty nice guy when you put aside the identity theft.

4. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to checks that you’re not proficient in, even making you a little bit faster by boosting your initiative bonus. You can also use a Song of Rest to add a d6 to the healing your party does over a short rest. I mean, you’re a character in a novel, you’ve got to have some good stories to share, right?

For your spell this level, grab Speak with Animals. Working with Lobo is always rough, but at least now you’ll be able to tell his “I’ll tear you limb from limb” bark from his “I’ll tear you limb from limb later” bark.

5. Bard 3: Your doppelganger side grants you the power of a bard from the college of Whispers. When you join the college, you can use your bardic inspiration to create Psychic Blades, adding 2d6 psychic damage to a weapon attack once per turn. I’ve given up trying to figure out if hitting things with your hands count as weapon attacks, so maybe just keep a knife on standby.

You also learn Words of Terror, spending a minute alone with your target to force a wisdom save (DC 8+proficiency+charisma mod) or they become frightened of a creature you choose for up to an hour or until it or an ally takes damage where it can see you. You can use this once per short rest, and if they succeed on their save there’s not tell that you did anything. You also get Expertise in Insight and Deception to make your disguises flawless.

Your spell this time is Enhance Ability, making you even better at whatever you set out to do by giving you (or another creature) advantage on one kind of ability check. For those of you playing along at home, this means you now have a +8 to deception checks, with advantage. Even without your disguises, you’re already doing pretty well for yourself.

6. Bard 4: But “pretty well” isn’t perfect. We can do better. Use your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Actor feat, rounding up your Charisma for extra inspiration and stronger spells. You also get advantage on deception and performance checks to act as a different person, no spells required. On top of all that, you can mimic the speech of a creature you’ve heard talking for at least a minute, requiring a contested Insight check vs your Deception check to figure things out.

For those rare times you’re trying to be yourself, you can also use Friends to get advantage instead. When that inevitably backfires, use Mirror Image to create some shadow clones for an easier escape. The spell makes three copies of yourself, and when you would get hit by an attack there’s a 75% chance it will hit one of them instead. After they take a hit for you, they pop, reducing the odds of blocking the next attack. MI is technically UA, but it’s not exactly a massive power boost.

7. Bard 5: Fifth level bards see their inspiration dice grow to d8s. While that doesn’t affect your psychic blades, your Font of Inspiration does, letting you recharge inspiration on short rests for more consistent support and damage.

You also learn how to Feign Death to escape any criminal/detective duos on your trail. Admittedly this isn’t as effective as disguising yourself as a civilian, as it basically knocks you out for an hour, giving you resistance to most types of damage and prevents any sort of effect from diseases or poison.

8. Bard 6: The sixth level of bard is where our plan really comes together. No, I’m not talking about Countercharm, get that shit outta here. We’re here for the Mantle of Whispers, letting you steal a humanoid’s shadow when it dies nearby once per short rest. Using their shadow, you can create an hour-long disguise that not only makes you look like the person, but gives you information they would give away to acquaintances. Creatures can see through the disguise with an Insight check against your Deception check, but you get a +5 to that, on top of everything else.

9. Monk 3: Stealing peoples’ identity is nice, but it’s time we got back to punching good. Third level monks get their way, and Way of Shadow helps you take advantage of Shinjuku’s oppressive atmosphere to make the town your own. Your Shadow Arts lets you cast spells like Darkness, Darkvision, Pass without Trace, or Silence using your Ki points. You can also cast Minor Illusion to take your stealth to the next level with some free distractions.

Besides all that, you can Deflect Missiles, catching them out of the air to reduce damage and possibly even throwing them back as a reaction.

Now that you have a bunch of things eating away at your Ki points, you can use your Ki-Fueled Attack to attack as a bonus action if your main action uses your Ki. Now nothing can stop you from delivering those hands.

10. Monk 4: Been a while since your last ASI, huh? Use this one to boost your Dexterity for a better AC and stronger attacks. You can also Slow Fall as a reaction, reducing fall damage by five times your monk level. As Moriarty could tell you, falling off a skyscraper hurts.

11. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each attack action, and you can turn those attacks into Stunning Strikes by using Ki. If the target fails a constitution save all attacks on them for the round have advantage. Great way to fish for crits for your psychic blades.

12. Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki-empowered Strikes, making your unarmed attacks magic against resistances. You’re a Tier-3 character, you’ll probably need this.

You can also use your brand new Shadow Step to teleport between shadows as a bonus action. Moving so quickly also gives you advantage on your next attack.

13. Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like using Phantasmal Killer to create a more offensive shadow clone. For up to a minute one targeted creature needs to make a wisdom save. If they fail, they’re frightened and at the end of each turn they have to make another wisdom save or they take psychic damage.

14. Bard 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma again for stronger spells and inspiration. You can also use Freedom of Movement to escape from impossible binds. Just disguise yourself as a free person, I can’t believe nobody thought of this before.

15. Bard 9: Our last level of bard charges your Song of Rest to a d8, and you get a fifth level spell. Mislead lets you move so fast enemies will have to hit your afterimage, simultaneously turning you invisible and creating an illusion of yourself. The illusion lasts for an hour, but you only stay invisible until you attack or cast another spell. It can speak or gesture just like you, and you can even see through its eyes.

16. Monk 7: Seventh level monks finally get Evasion, turning your dex saves into supersaves. Now your failures deal as much damage as your successes, and your successes avoid all damage entirely. Your Stillness of Mind also lets you shut down effects that are charming or frightening you.

17. Monk 8: Use your last ASI to bump up your Wisdom for a stronger AC. Technically grabbing more Dexterity would be better here, but I like rounding stuff up more than capping it out. Makes room for DM stuff.

18. Monk 9: Your Unarmored Movement Improvement lets you run up walls and over water, so long as you don’t end your turn there. You can finally climb up that huge freaking castle you’ve been eyeing for a while!

19. Monk 10: Tenth level monks get a Purity of Body that makes you immune to disease and poison. At least this isn’t your capstone?

20. Monk 11: As an eleventh level shadow monk gets a Cloak of Shadows, letting you disguise yourself as a Vashta Narada as an action, becoming invisible in dim light or darker. This lasts until you attack, cast a spell, or leave the shadows. I’m pretty sure this qualifies for that whole “cast no shadow” thing you’re always going on about, right?

Pros:

You are the one true imposter. With advantage as well as +21 to all your deception rolls to disguise yourself, you’re pretty much undiscoverable. On top of that, you’re also great at reading people with a +15 to insight. The only person doing impressions around here is you, thank ya kindly.

Like all monks, you’re really fast, with 50′ of movement speed, dash options, teleporting options, and ways to make yourself even faster via magic. You go down harder than the KT event, but you’re fine as long as you don’t get hit.

You also come with tons of ways to mess with the enemy. Make yourself invisible, shoot darkness like a squid shoots ink, have them chasing an illusion, or even just disguise yourself as a loved one. You are a terror to fight.

Cons:

Touching on that thing I said back in Pro #2, you’re pretty squishy, with barely over 100 HP and only 17 AC. Stick to the shadows, you’ll need them.

You also have a serious issue with range. Anything that can outspeed you will find it pretty easy to have you running in circles, since your best ranged attacks are cantrips.

This build is also a little bit complicated, with balancing your Ki, inspirations, who you can disguise as, who you can mimic, and all that fun stuff. Like a lot of the clever people builds, don’t expect to play this one like you would a barbarian.

#fgo #fate grand order #D&D 5e #DND #Assassin of Shinjuku #Bard #Monk

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