#stupid sexy seabass | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lex-gon-give-it-to-ya · 1 year

Text

📍 Dewstock, Solymly

(2 years after the destruction of Bellemare)

I finally made it closer to the coast. I’m in some tiny as shit village full of fishermen. It reeks. As usual looking for more people to bring into the cult of the Shadow Queen (as well as teaching their abusers a lesson)comes with being in the shittiest places I’ve ever seen.

After finally making it to the only tavern in town I paid for a nights stay and a hot meal. It was shitty food but anything is better than dried rations. While eating in the tavern I was eavesdropping on conversations, looking for marks. I played a prank on a dude who was talking about going home and “teaching his wife a lesson”. As expected he lost his shit, and a handsome asshole told him to sit down or leave (at that point I used prestidigitation to make it sound and smell like the dude shat his pants). The handsome asshole approached me and started asking me lots of questions.. ugh. I told him my name was Lex, and didn’t really give him much information other than that. But the dude was persistent! Thankfully we were interrupted by the first asshole, but the persistent asshole put him down with one uppercut. It was actually kinda hot. Afterwards I learned that “sexy, persistent asshole with nice biceps” name was actually Sebastien, some people call him seabass which is so fucking stupid. I decided I’d start calling him Bash.. easier to remember.

We parted ways, and I offered to help take passed out drunk asshole home with his useless dwarven friend. I talked to his wife who has a black eye. She claimed that she had fallen and hit a chair but I didn’t believe her for a minute. I told her my name is Lex and she can find me at the tavern if she needs help. With that I went back to the tavern, playing the long game with these people always works better than just blowing shit up, I’ve found. I had the intention of finding some more marks in the tavern, but there was like ONE guy there. I guess Dewstock isn’t a party town.

There was a guy who was down on his luck, his wife left him because he gambled all his money away. I wanted to see if he could change so I flipped him a GP. At that moment, Bash strolls in, covered in blood, with his stipid frilly shirt torn. Honestly, is there anything hotter than an asshole dude covered in blood?

He took me out to the stables where his horse was and there was a bloody cyclops head hanging off his saddle. At that point things started getting really weird. He got so close to me I could smell the salt of his sweat and the metallic blood he was covered in. I thought he was going to kiss me.. I told him I don’t like being touched, and he just got closer. I could feel his chest as he inhaled, and he grabbed my hair, and cut off a piece, then asked if I regretted killing “all those people”. So damn rude. I knocked him on his ass, stepped on his hand, and took my hair back and told him there wasn't much I ever did that I regretted.

As I walked away I took advantage of the shadows, and hid amongst them. I knew he’d try to chase me, so I waited until he passed by me, then went back to his horse, and emptied everything of worth I could find out of his saddlebags into my own pockets. I walked back to the tavern, and when he was not in the bar I assumed he was still out chasing after me. I went up to my room, pushed all the furniture in front of the window and the door, and went to bed.

The asshole must have been hiding under the bed, or be a sneaky as mother fucker, because when I woke up there was a note beside my pillow(seen below), with a lock of my hair in the shape of a heart. Creepy as fuck. The dude didn’t even have any shame, and was sitting in the main room in the tavern when I went to hunt him down. I sucker punched him and knocked him on his ass. “Do not presume that you know me strictly by what you have heard about me. Gossip spreads like wildfire when you do something society deems as bad. But they never ask why.” I sneered at him as I walked out the door.

To be honest, I was more angry that he got past my boundaries and got under my skin than anything else. I had to get out of that stupid ass town, but on the way I burned down that asshole peasant’s house. I hope he was still unconscious on his bed and his wife did the smart thing and left him like I told her to. But I was so angry that honestly at that point I didn’t even really care. Onto the next shitty town, I guess.

#Lexori #ladiesoflore #ladies of lore #dnd journal #Lex’s journal #life according to lex #bash/lex #meet cute #enemies to lovers #dnd campaign #dnd5e #dnd shenanigans #extra content #letters from bash #the hound who loved the fox

3 notes · View notes

harlowcomehome · 2 years

Note

Stupid Tumblr wont let me comment...

my man sexy Seabass tho 100%

I’m dumb, do you mean Sebastian Stan?? Because 🥰

#jackswalkinthepark

7 notes · View notes

vansofwally · 6 years

Text

Cause of death: Sebastian's long hair.

#whyyyy #this was the best halloween gift #he killed me #sebastian stan #long hair #stupid sexy sebastian #marvel #marvel actors #sexy seabass

23 notes · View notes

hermannsthumb · 4 years

Note

different anon but i would love that rec list you mentioned ....👀

ok here we go my most up-to-date and comprehensive newt/hermann rec list yet! combining elements from all the other ones i’ve made! this is in no way a be-all-end-all of the best newt/herm fic or anything, these are just ones ive remembered to bookmark--i’ll def edit and add stuff as i go bc i know i left a bunch off

for the most part they stay away from uprising bc i don’t like to read uprising compliant fic LOL

G/Not Rated:

Portrait. by VictoryCandescenceWe all know about Becket and Mori, the Last Rangers of Hong Kong and the late Marshall Stacker Pentecost. But Doctors Hermann Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler might be two you haven’t heard about until now. And when you hear their story, you’ll wonder how it ever stayed a secret for so long.

the future’s owned by you and me by kaiyenYears after they stopped writing each other, Newt and Hermann run into each other on the steps of Cambridge University Library. Quite literally.

The Love And Care Of Your Pet Kaiju Skinmite by IasNewt brings home a new pet. Hermann is justifiably horrified.

Don't Hang Up Yet, I'm Not Done by SmallishWormMasterOfTheUniverse“With all due respect, sir,” said Hermann, “I fail entirely to see any humor whatsoever in this situation.”“Yes,” said Pentecost. “It adds to the effect.”The world is ending, Hermann Gottlieb is a radio show host, and Newton Geiszler is absolutely convinced it all has something to do with aliens.

Alternate by perniciousLizardNewt accidentally ends up in a place that’s almost exactly like his own reality, with one major difference.

Operation: RTF by purpleeyesandbowtiesMako’s bio teacher is acting weird. Well, weirder than normal. And there’s a new teacher who Mr. Geizler claims is a college buddy, but there’s something about this whole thing that feels….off. Naturally, the only reasonable solution is Operation: RTF.

Hypothetically by supersymmetryAka Tendo sets Newt and Hermann up on a blind date because someone had to.

Mariposa (aka westworld au) by janewestinTwo years after his last encounter with the host called Newton Geiszler, Hermann finds himself back in the park.

D = V * T by seabassThere are no monsters, mutants, or war. Robots do not stand as gladiators against the test of Man. Warriors do not drift together, close in thought and will and action.There’s just a hole in the desert. And it grows.

there’ll be no life of crime by ByacolateAs much as he respects Stacker Pentecost, Hermann hates him a little for dangling Hannibal Chau in front of Newton’s eyes like a toy mouse on a string.+ the rest of the series…..!

Ships Ill-Lit At Night by Rikku (the same author has an excellent uprising fix-it if you’re interested)Hermann Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler are correspondents for years before they first meet, and then it is years more before they will admit to even being friends. Meanwhile the war rages, the monsters that rise from the sea surely too powerful to be fought with brittle ships of wood and sail.At least when the Fleet fights it, they must all stand together.

A Sharp Dressed Man by AveleraHermann’s latest book needs an author photo. However, when he’s given a makeover and a suit that actually fits for the photo shoot, his appearance is so transformed that Newt mistakes him for his (much hotter) older brother, Dietrich.Hermann decides to play along.

It Was Only A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This by AnonymousPuzzler“Hermann, come on, I don’t have to be up for another hour, go shut off your stupid alarm so I can go back to sl—”Finally, Hermann had grumbled incoherently, shoved himself up on one elbow, kissed Newt full on the mouth, and rolled out of bed.Suffice to say, Newt was very, very much awake after that.

and i couldn’t whisper when you needed it shouted by LvslieHe still smells like Newt; bears traces of his recent nearness. Clothes sleep-wrinkled from the proximity, from the way Newt’s ankle has during the night hooked around the calf of Hermann’s good leg and dragged his whole body seamlessly closer. Cheek half-flushed from the face unconsciously nuzzled his into the side of Hermann’s neck—evidence of his presence, fast asleep, as Hermann lay still and fretful for hours an end, staring at the ceiling and feeling sick with wanting.[An early 20th century AU inspired loosely by Maurice and Age of Innocence.]

Meet Me There Across The Water, And We’ll Start An Endless Storm by CancerConstellationHermann, an honorably discharged veteran has retired to continue working as a Keeper at a Lighthouse. It is perfectly solitary, and with little in the way for incidents. Newton is the sailor that washes up on the seashore after a summer storm.[Late 19th century Lighthouse Keeper AU–or the one where Hermann was an aspiring artist whose dreams got a bit derailed, and Newt is the sailor that needs to learn to take his time with things.]

It Was Love At Second Sight by rednightsHermann receives the first letter when he is eighteen years old.or: Kaiju don't attack the Earth, but Hermann and Newt still write letters, botch their first meeting, and fall in love, not necessarily in that order.

the truth about me (and the truth about you) by danimagusNewton suffers from a bout of memory loss and is told Hermann is his fiancé. Hermann plays along, to his endless shame.

Transducer by hal_incandenza (or: 1970s espionage AU)“I need you to hide something for me.”“Oh, excellent. Of course, Newton, please allow me to jeopardize my career. And yours as well. My pleasure. Do go on.”“Yeesh, relax,” said Newton. “It’s a personal thing, not a work thing.”“As if there is any division between the two,” Hermann snapped.If only you knew, Newt thought.

First a Darling, Then a Marvel by isozymeNewt runs a simulation given three constraints:1: Newt wants to clone a kaiju2: Hermann does not want Newt to clone a kaiju3: Newt is going to clone a kaiju anyway

Can I Be Your Memory by agrajagHermann suffers from amnesia after a bump to the head and is suddenly very nice to Newt. Newt is way too gay to handle this. And what will happen when Hermann’s memories return?

The Geiszler & Gottlieb Post-Saving-the-World Lecture Tour (series) by zach_stone

if you would stay In the wake of the world not ending, while certain heroes are invited to a parade of talk shows and press tours, the two-man remains of the PPDC’s K-Science division are scheduled for a series of guest lectures in a good selection of the world’s major universities.Newt and Hermann travel to from Hong Kong to Boston, and Newt tries to come to terms with a world that’s not ending and his feelings for Hermann that are becoming harder to hide.

find shelter somewhere in me“You ready for this?” Newt mutters as they approach the podium.Hermann shoots him the smallest smile, touching Newt’s wrist. “With you, always.”The Geiszler and Gottlieb Lecture Tour continues, and Newt realizes Hermann may not be coping with the aftermath of the war as well as he pretends to be.

Darling by BeeLoveIn which Newton rides Hermann for all he’s worth. Or at least tries to.

Our Breath Will Still / A Short Distance Ahead by irisbleuficThis story is a study in monster-hunting and risk-taking, professional and otherwise.

Problems with Local Denim Topology (accnt orphaned tragically)This is how, when the chaos of Newt’s life finally settles down into something approximating normal (one apartment, one nine-to-five job, one handsome husband, and no kaiju), he finds himself struggling to pull on an old pair of skinny jeans.

Sea Swept by cypress_treeA high seas fantasy AU in which Hermann is a ship’s navigator and Newton is found washed up among flotsam.

Surrounded by berlynn_wohl (all of this author’s newt/hermann PWP is like. fucking top tier.)Newt is involved in a teleporter accident, with sexy results. That’s it, that’s the fic.

Circumstances by glassfrogIt was Newt who suggested the handcuffs.

newmann drabbles & fics by skeleton_twinsa collection of short newmann fics

#maria's newmann blogging #ask #Anonymous

56 notes · View notes

amarriageoftrueminds · 4 years

Photo

Bucky Barnes has an Hourglass Figure: Discuss

#dat's me #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #mcu #thighs of betrayal #get down with the thiccness #things steve rogers could really get behind #👌👀#if yer know what I mean hurhur #stupid sexy seabass #omega bucky = basically sofía vergara send tweet #Y'ALL BETTER RECOGNISE

460 notes · View notes

amarriageoftrueminds · 3 years

Text

I've seen so many dumb make up tutorials on youtube where they glue on single false eyelashes and draw on wings to try and make their eyes look wide set and contour their nose to look tapered and short (and also hollow their cheekbones) and do a flawless glowy base but with a few freckles so their skin looks perfect but also natural and also add a nudeish red to their lips but a flattering shade like maybe that’s their real lip colour and sebastian stan is just Out There looking like that already what an utter bastard

#sorry guys I need a moment #sebastian stan #stupid sexy seabass #steve rogers ghostwrote this #yet each man queues the thing he loves #dat's me #release the cracken

10 notes · View notes

amarriageoftrueminds · 4 years

Link

#dat's me #sebastian stan #BUH #stupid sexy seabass

56 notes · View notes

amarriageoftrueminds · 3 years

Text

me logging onto twitter yesterday to find out what sebastian stan has been up to:

█▀ █ █▀█ ▄█ █ █▀▄

#sebastian stan #stupid sexy seabass #tommy

4 notes · View notes

amarriageoftrueminds · 3 years

Note

what did you even do to his face in that one manip? did you just duo reflect it? change his nose?

im so shit with faces i can't he just looks normal to me

😅 I guess I should take this as a compliment, if it’s invisible!

I've been watching this fascinating YT channel lately which discusses sexual dimorphism (how the sexes differ) and the anthropology of global beauty standards, and coincidentally also obsessing over a/b/o AUs.

And those two things came together in my head to get me wondering how Bucky would look different as an omega, or maybe trans, or both; just subtly different, without seeming female?

So I was looking up the effects of oestrogen (versus testosterone) which would be the stand-in for omega-'mones in an a/b/o au and it was saying that the various effects are to: broaden the middle face, brighten eyes and skin (called neoteny, apparently it's a big deal), thicken the head-hair, lower the brow bone and plump up the lips.

With this manip; to AyourQ, in line with all this ^ what I did was:

plumped up his lips a teeny bit (no more than they were back when he was a twink, didn't want fishlips; it’s surprisingly tricky to make them look natural!)

lightened the shadow of his brow bone (as if it weren’t so deep, kind of like when trans ladies get brow-shaving feminising surgery?)

then slightly lightened his eyes and his under-brow area to mimic that decreased shadow (but again only a little bit, I still left most of it as-is!)

while simultaneously giving him a dab of mascara, eyeliner, and brow-filler cuz if omegas did minimal make up I figured Bucky would be that kind of lowkey type

and, because all these anthropology vids were saying that repeating-proportions are what makes a face especially attractive (i.e. if it can be vertically divided up perfectly into thirds), and since he should be having thicker hair, (and they should've given him a proper wig from the start gdi!) I lowered his hairline a smidge to make his forehead proportionate to his cute lil nose.

And that's it!

(Apart from adding long hair, obviously).

But his eyes and skin and jaw and his natural symmetry are so ridiculous it looks like I must've added some insane kawaii instagram filter to make him look all unearthly. Nope! His face just did that! 🤷‍♀️

#hey nonny #stupid sexy seabass #toAyourQ #release the cracken #swiggety swag it's a catrintag #it's crazy how BIG his eyes look just because of a bit of strategic lightening/darkening #I didn't make them bigger in any physical way!#anyway I think steve would love it and that's all that matters lol #also I was listening to the vid breaking down exactly - mathematically - why johnny depp's face is attractive #and sebstan has SO MANY of exactly the same proportions!#like the distance from his top lip to his nose is naturally 1/3 the distance of his chin overall (which is ideal)#and the almost-identical bizygomatic (cheek) and bigonial (jaw) width is also apparently an ideal feature foo!#yes I know I'm a nerd

4 notes · View notes