#stop normalizing this kind of stuff

[y-vna]

Just so it's clear, one of my big dni crits is this:

TW: My rant includes HEAVY topics of ed (eating disorders) and intentionally starving yourself/unhealthy weight loss 🙁.

This post is also ULTRA long, will definitely contain grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm not going to say 100% everything here is accurate information, as I'm a human and I make mistakes too.

Let me get this clear, I dont mean anyone harm with this post. My intention isn't to hate or attack/hurt anyone to make them feel upset. I know that having an ed is a serious matter. I have friends and family who actively have/had these kinds of eds, so im not uneducated on this subject and I do understand it to a very in-depth degree. This is not to say I know everything about this topic, however.

It is definitely not easy to recover from, and lots of people struggle from it every day. I am NOT saying people with this disorder are any less human than anyone else. I'm saying it's toxic for those who do have it since it actually harms your body a lot, and pushing it on others (not the fact you have it in the first place) is something I don't support.

So respectfully, if you do support/promote eds as a positive thing, or are/follow/interact with blogs who do, BLOCK ME AND DNI. thank you.

I love everyone for who they are inside, regardless of what their body looks like. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who tried so hard to have a perfect body and stop eating bc im super insecure, it's not worth it, and it makes you feel so shitty. I love you, whoever is reading this, no matter what. So please don't change who you are just to make others happy :( <3

--

So I was looking thru tumblr, and this one post kept getting shown to me where people were talking about basically the idea of: "its worth it to keep losing that undesired weight, you'll see results soon" as like a motivational thing. The tags (straight up tells you it's supposed to be inspo to becoming skinny and supports the idea having an ed is the only way to get a dream bod), and their whole blog had ed encouragement/motivation. To keep...starving, i guess.?? Despite their user being about being strong and healthy, nothing about this is healthy or keeps your body strong.

I didn't decide to write a whole rant about just that part of the post because I didn't start getting super concerned until i read the notes/comments (since i had seen a lot of these 'tw : ed' blogs before already). What I saw was that tons of users were promoting starving yourself as a goal and a good thing, and basically glorifying having an ed. And also using kpop idols with skinny and perfect figures like wonyoung to tell others that (almost a literal direct quote from this user-) 'us ed people don't want to be helped and we won't stop starving ourselves until we reach the weight we want.'

"You see it as negativity cause you're not disordered." KEEP IN MIND THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO USED TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN ED (the screenshot below is the person they were talking to). I understand you can't push people to get help if they don't want it, but you have to draw a line when you start saying that every person with ed doesn't want help, which just isnt true. I looked at their blog, and it was all just calculating how many calories they ate and burned every day. Most of the posts they basically only totaled 300 calories a day. THAT IS SUPER SICK ☹️. An average human needs like 2000+ calories a day. It actively influences people to copy them by posting and blogging this SUPER unhealthy weight loss. It IS NOT positive on any level. It does nothing good for you. You won't feel any happier when you look in the mirror if all you can feel is pure hunger because you won't give your body what it needs. This is so sad to me because all the comments had people trying to ask how to start starving themselves, and every blog I clicked on all had ed triggers on their posts and bios. Some of those blogs were saying NOT to become like them because they can't see themselves recovering now that they're in too deep.

As said by people online who actually had and got through having an ed, they have explained it is very unhealthy and they were glad to recover. So even though I do not have an ed, and you might think I shouldn't be "judging" people who have them, there are plenty of formerly ed diagnosed people who know the bad effect it has on others/had on them because they can accurately relate. You can still educate people on a subject even if you yourself do not have to suffer from it/have it, as long as you're doing it properly with proven facts (literally all credible research you do anywhere backed by science and experts will prove eds aren't healthy). People educate themselves to teach others about other illnesses, ongoing or past wars in history, etc, they don't have firsthand experience with/from. And they can still be just as valid sometimes.

My whole point here is that on tumblr and so many other social media platforms, I keep seeing people (posts like this and whole blogs centered around this stuff,) encouraging (mainly young) girls to stop eating altogether to have a body that society and other people are more satisfied with. That's why, for a while, I also tried to do the same because of the people saying it was a positive thing to gain a bad relationship with food and start counting your calories to be perfect. I'm also someone who struggles with body image and being shamed for gaining weight. But at some point hou need to realize hurting your body and mental state is SO WRONG. NOBODY is perfect. So don't push you or anyone else to be. I learned this, and I get its super hard to ignore the judgment forced onto you by society and your surroundings, but there will be people who appreciate you just how you are now. Like me.

So with all that said, the moral here is:

Don't starve urself (on purpose. Bc some people genuinely have trouble eating and starve themselves non intentionally. I have friends who do this 😭)

You're perfect how u are now without being as slim as your idols (and even K-pop idols don't tell others usually to be like them because they know that their companies forcing them to strictly control their weight isn't something they want fans to look up to).

Don't force (potential) ed on others

Don't encourage unhealthy relationship with your body and food

I do support people with eds, as long as they aren't trying to make it something others should look up to, and aspire to have.

If you are someone who wants to normalize having an ed as healthy or positive, please do not interact with this blog and feel free to block me :(

Thank you for reading, have a good day and ily for whoever is reading this. 💗💖💓💕

#major tw : ed #ed awareness #stop normalizing this kind of stuff #coming from someone who struggles with body image #dni criteria #you're perfect the way you are <33 #body posititivity #educate yourself #educate yourselves #get educated #stop making blogs prommoting ed

[automatonknight]

here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows

#art #oc #id in alt #um ummm #idk. if you have any questions as always feel free to ask #ANYWAYS. geez making him has been so fun i love this asshole so much i'm going to put him through the horrors #salute to you Kordian if you see this if you hadn't shown me stalker i probably wouldn't be running in circles about patches now #more notes. i actually have no idea how magic works in-universe i just thought it would be cool. he's not good at using it he sucks. he's #shocked himself so many times probably. will that stop him? no #he practiced fencing for a few years so he actually like. knows how the fight flows or whatever. i think he definitely picks out targets wh #don't get their bearings quite as well and dances around them and shit like that he just likes to be mean i guess #idk idk. also he joins the lovelies at one point. that's like. semi-canon. it's sorta like with triumphant and normal walenty to me. like #they both exist but the. so to speak. evil one kind of doesn't in a way if you get me. i mostly thought it would be a fun thing to think #about. and also patches would do that and then he'd freak out like what the fuck am i doing and leave #another random thing about his pronouns. well i mostly use he/him for him. that 'any' is more in a way that if you referred to patches as #she or they or it or anything else he wouldn't care #but he usually doesn't mention it and stuff

[parasitoidism]

Truly great moment was Ryo fresh out the hospital jumping out of his car and sucker punching this poor guy to steal his motorcycle. Imagine having to file that police report about how you got knocked the fuck out and your shit stolen by some shirtless blond severely injured 17 year old freak. I would just let it go. Thankfully that guy didn’t have to live with the shame for much longer though considering how the story goes

#ryos satan spidey senses telling him his ride or die is in trouble is one thing but him managing to grab a gun on the way out is always #funny also . i especially liked in the ova where he’s also wearing a black cloak that you have never seen him wear before . like did he stop #by his house on the way there #like I mean I guess it could have still been in his jacket. maybe hospitals in the 70s just didn’t care about that kind of thing #but in the ova he has a full on sniper rifle so. i think they had the idea for that one shot and were just like guys this has to happen #ugh guys I promise I liked devilman because of the themes and stuff okay I promise I’m a smart media comprehending boy but it’s just #of course I’m a little obsessed withthis gay freak . he’s entertaining until . uh until it isn’t fun anymore. yknow . #actually why was I embarrassed about liking a character in a story that’s actually normal

[andoutofharm]

on the topic from the other day about shouting weird shit to artists on stage can we also stop telling them they saved our lives? especially by shouting it in quiet moments in the set. i get people mean it in a good way and you want to convey how much they mean to you but that’s a TON of emotional weight to throw at someone while they’re just trying to perform/do their job/live their life. how many times does pete have to say we saved our own lives for people to Stop saying that to them

#also now that apparently more people are getting to meet them: please dont be weird please dont tell them deeply personal or emotional #things. please just be polite and normal and kind #can we just stop yelling stuff to them on stage in general tbh #there is a flow to the set pete has things he wants to say there and interrupting him by yelling to get his attention is so fucking rude.

[ahollowgrave]

11. Blood at the corner of your mouth.

It is not your blood at the edge of your mouth. Not your blood that your tongue swipes from the corner of your lips.  Not your blood whose coppery tastes lingers between your teeth. 

But he fucking deserved it.

Sister Kindness has you tucked under her arm as she, to use her words, books it. Something she must not do often because she huffs and puffs her way through the crowded Shaded Bower. And though some call out ‘Sister’ to her with warm recognition she does not stop ‘booking’ it. (Sister Kindness would have you know that she is perfectly in shape for a woman of her age. She was ‘huffing and puffing’ from the extra weight of carrying you, thank you very much.)

She slows when the westshore pier appears around the corner and then she steps off the main path and sets you down. Kneeling to be something more like eye-level, she pulls a Roegadyn-sized handkerchief from the depths of her habit. Wetting a corner with a flask pulled from a separate, equally confusing pocket she begins to clean the blood from your face.

Sister Kindness’ hand is firm where it grips your chin, holding as little of you as possible. For once the contact does not send you recoiling. Perhaps it is the way your rage has left you as quickly as it had flooded you, leaving you feeling drained of everything else as well. Now that the moment has passed you tremble and, to your horror, you can feel a well of tears rising to fill that empty space.

“Was a helluva bite, darling girl,” Sister Kindness’s voice is quiet as she tilts your head to the light, searching for any blood she may have missed. You focus on her creek colored eyes and swear you feel their waters lapping at your ankles. Her smile is sudden but woozy around the edges; she is just as shaken. "Reckon he'll have a scar, too. Bet he lies about who gave it to him." ‘He’ was an elezen man -- maybe a merchant but likely not, as Sister Kindness did not know him -- with a face as sharp as his ears and a smile that spoke of too much confidence. And you had hated him on sight. His crime was making Sister Kindness uncomfortable and his mistake was not being aware of his surroundings. 

It does not take much pressure to break skin. 

Pleased with her work, Sister Kindness rises and disappears the handkerchief away. Handing you the flask, she instructs you to take a sip, swirl it around your mouth, and spit it out. There is some confusion about what 'swirl' means but, eventually, she is satisfied with this too. “Well, we didn’t get what I came for but we’ll be headed home all the same. Come now, before the ferry leaves without us. We will, ah, not be telling the abbess about this.” You don’t know if she means the bite or the trip to the city. 

You don’t ask.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! ][ Sensory Prompts ][

#Answered #Pigeon Writing #Sister Kindness #Sister Patience #<- tags for odette/convent stuff as it's her nun name #i have just decided this #which means I will forget it thank you #but also thank you for the ask anon this one wrote itself more or less !! #posting this before i think too much about it #i am lowkey trying to stop writing only second person pov because I've had enough people casually tell me the hate it #(not my writing like specifically but just the pov in general) #(which is normal and fine !!! just sometimes disheartening like life is sometimes) #but the prompt used 'you' and gestures #but also sister kindness why do these merchants greet you warmly HUH!? #aren't you suppose to be living a secluded life of holy contemplation HUH SISTER KINDNESS??? #(i remove my hands from the keyboard so i stop editing the tags) #(brains are dumb why do we even HAVE these)

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

13, trying to prevent yaz from spiralling when they get separated: i need you to do a deepdive into eschatology

#fghgjhjhggh #'yea i know this sucks babe but we'll figure it out the fate of the world is on your shoulders i believe in you kisses <3' #like thats where you'll end up right #'find out when the aliens come try and take over' #eschatology and death cults and conspiracy theories probably #forced to sift through like centuries of that stuff for years on end trying to find the Real in all of it #and you cant.......stop. bc the world will end #i dont think you come out of that.................normal #even with the best starting condition you dont come out of that normal but yaz is like #functional only by virtue of her circumstances i think #she looks fine bc shes standing next to 13 #i dont think shes normal under the surface #i dont think 4 years of apocalypticism left her untouched #dan either i mean i dont think anyone comes out of that untouched but these two are like barely keeping it together beforehand #can you imagine how WEIRD theyve become #can you imagine how obliviously and kind of unsettlingly weird they'd be in support groups #the others would get it like sure none of us are really normal anymore but like #i think they'd be weird #4 years of having to depend on each other and not knowing if you'll get back home and having to take The End Times seriously nonstop as a #matter of urgency and duty #and then losing the third member of your party? #dan and yaz will be so weird and fucked up #iknow im repeating myself but im just trying to put myself in the frame of mind of #having to take intepretations of the end times seriously for 4 years #when youre already like a lowkey suicidal person to begin with #i think if yaz hangs out with 14 she'll say such weird and fucked up things entirely obliviously and he'd be like O.O #she probably still has 1900 habits that show up unexpectedly #or like just miscalibrated. has to take a trip to another country and takes a train bc she forgets planes exist #has to look up somethign and just goes SIGH. gets her coat to go to the library. and ryans like ??? ive googled it #and shes like oh fuck google

[calitsnow]

It’s always funny to me when I have the same reactions as Dante and I never feel closer to them than when I am just playing with my vision of this weird reunion of outcasts as a big and loveable found family, only to see that vision crumbled down and challenged every canto by a sinner or Vergilius who exclaims loud and clear and often vehemently that it will never be anything more than a employer / employee relationship.

At those moments I react exactly like Dante when they are like: « Maybe I am the only one who thought we were sharing something together ? Maybe all the sinners are only here for their own goals ? Maybe they would never want to make an effort to create a meaninful relationship between each others ? Was I a fool to believe that this was the start of a friendship … that we could have developpe a bond more or less deep, a feeling of belonging … that we could have been a family. »

First there is the pain of having your hopes shattered but then that doesn’t stop us to continue hoping for it to happen.

We are just two big delulu people

#limbus company #dante #canto V spoilers #I guess #I mean I know the story is probably going to go on the found family road #but since it’s project moon I can’t help but feel I am being delulu when I am faced with moments like that #because I fear they are just going to put us through suffering #and also maybe because some don't feel worthy to have this sort of relationship again #and that those moments are like a reminder to stay aware of the fact that maybe this is not going to end as a big happy family ... #but that's just a possibility ! #there is also the possibility that through this journey they WILL developp this kind of bond #and I mean the best found family are the one where they have to go through stuff together to get there #it's about living things and overcoming together #so I understand why Dante won't stop believing that a deeper relationship can bloom from this #and maybe I am delulu but #for me those moments are just hardships that are on the road which lead to something better and I mean #that's normal since this is a story where characters have to grow and it would be stupid to except the sinners and Dante #to become so close so fast #this is the endgame #and we already have the proof of that possible end with Yi Sang #Yi Sang is ready to create a new kind of bond with Dante and the sinners #he is ready to have what he had once with his previous comrades #because yes the problem is also that all the sinner are hurting deep inside and I have learned that it was better to stay alone #because caring for someone maked them suffered and now they don't want to start a new relationship where they could hurt again #better being alone that being the only one alive and being the one who has to remember and carry on #gosh I ended up talking a lot in the tags #Yi Sang is the best

[aceofstars16]

It’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m exhausted but I don’t know if I’ll be able to fall asleep again any time soon….

It’s like I was *just* starting to heal from having my heart and trust shattered 3 years ago, and now it’s happening all again, only this time I don’t have the church to go to for comfort/prayer/encouragement. And instead of a friendship I had for 2-3 years, it’s a church I’ve been going to for TWENTY TWO YEARS

I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone, this can’t actually be happening, right?

(I’m not okay, I keep crying and I just want to wake up from this nightmare)

#I don’t even know what to tag this as I just can’t #I was literally just telling my counselor that I feel like I’ve never had the ‘years of plenty’ #only the suffering and trials…and now this happens to seem to confirm that #and it doesn’t help that I was already having trouble trusting the leader after last year #and now it’s like a big ‘I told you’ from my brain which isn’t gonna help me trust anyone in the future #I was already having a hard time taking chances and trying to trust again ans NOW THIS #I know I should at least try to sleep again I just…I don’t even know anymore #I’m not even gonna tag this as any normal stuff tbh #how about just #aceo get her heart broken again #not to mention I’m terrified I’m going to fallback into the numb empty depression pit I only just kind of got out of #and faith? bro I understand how people left the church or faith cause it is HARD to differentiate between the church and God #I’m still trying to pray and stuff I just feel so empty and I can’t do this again #it doesn’t help that the church claimed that they felt ‘lead’ to this crappy situation whatever THAT means #I only heard it second hand tbh…I just…can this stop please? can this all just be a horrible dream that I wake up from? please

[granhairdo]

yeah im thinking it’s best i go into urgent care tomorrow im not doing good

#they aren’t just my epileptic seizures i swear #it’s like im fully conscious and they’re shorter #I used to get them all the time as a kid but it was connected to other stuff and kind of stopped when I was 14 or 15 #and replaced with epileptic ones #but like this is not normal for me #I really hope this is just a weird thing I cannot handle another diagnosis #I hate this fucking year #seriously I have a fucking tower of neurological and psychological issues one more and im fucking done #vent

[wereh0gz]

Fun neat little idea I just had that probably won't ever come to fruition but I'm gonna throw it out there anyways

Um so you know those blogs that are like role-playing as a character posting on tumblr. Like it looks like a normal blog but the posts are from the perspective of a fictional character in their world. Idk if that's a good enough description but

What if. I made one for my fursona

#ramblings #it's late. i'm tired. and i can't sleep because i have Ideas #like wouldn't that be fun. a furry techcore blog that drops bits of lore from their world here and there #and sometimes talks abt the other characters too. like when the first meet and stuff #there'd be intentional periods of silence where events in their world happen that stop them from blogging #and when they come back they drop little details abt what happened #and ppl can ask them stuff abt aegises (the kind of android they are) and abt themselves or nina or starburst #have a bit of a storyline going on under the guise of a normal looking furry blog #posts abt stuff that happens in their world would be tagged as unreality for clarity but otherwise it would look pretty normal y'know #idk. i'm genuinely considering it but also it would take a lot of planning #is this what you'd call an arg? or is that something else idk i'm too lazy to look it up rn #idk idk. i need to sleep

[xxshadowus3rxx]

okay but was it really necessary for probe to stroke adu du's cheek as he thanked him before he died. was that necessary or does someone on the animation team want me dead

#what is this dead wife beat type shit #I'm normal btw #was rewatching the scene for fic purposes and ngl I was never able to take it too seriously #but that part makes me want to bite something #wondering if it's something probe always wanted to do but it was only in that moment that he knew adu du would allow it #*deranged and exploding* #don't get me started on the dialogue #idc if it's cheesy or whatever it still makes me want to Cry #cube fortress #dinoposting #adu du boboiboy #probe boboiboy #man. I actually can't stop drawing them lolll #but my art kind of sucks so I'd rather not post that stuff. it's okay there are so many fics in the oven #the 5 other enjoyers of them will feast once the time comes #I should probably think of a ship name for them in the meantime #but idk #sorry for the ramble #this is a certified 4am post moment

[amethysttribble]

Next time I’m dealing with an upset kid, I’m going to remember my aunt saying to me, “That fight was the beginning of the end for you and [cousin who a whole airport staff couldn’t unload all my baggage with]” when I was jokingly recounting a spat we had when we were twelve and I called her a ‘motherucking bitch’

Because that flabbergasted me so much I legitimately laughed and I’m still thinking about it.

‘Cause no. Oh my god no. That was the end of the end. That was when I finally said, “I can’t do this anymore.” That was it.

But my aunt couldn’t see that because to her we were just two twelve year olds calling each other names, /oh those two, so ‘close’ (in truth, we were just two girls who were the same age, our moms said we had to be close) but always bickering/ not the continued saga of pain and harassment that had been our shared childhood, twelve years worth, and the moment I was finally old enough to realize, “I should stop trying to be friends and instead never talk to her again.”

‘The beginning of the end’. As if those years when we were younger didn’t count and weren’t informative. They were. As if we didn’t have interiority and a complicated, broken relationship before that. We did. As if it was all petty before we were teenagers. It wasn’t.

It had ended a long time ago.

#this aunt is not the mom of this cousin btw #I just- it stunned me #made me realize that the border line abuse my cousin put me through still has never clicked for my extended family #and I do understand why #it’s cause my cousin had a super fucked up childhood and abusive dad and ill equipped mom to deal with the very obvious mental illness #that my cousin had #but like… she hurt me #yes she was hurting but she hurt me and I was a kid #it wasn’t normal kid fighting it wasn’t #but in order for the adults to try to be kind to and provide stability for my poor fucked up cousin I had to take her lashing out #my dad was really good about telling me I didn’t have to put up with her #and my mom got much better as we got older and it stopped being ‘kid stuff’ and even before she never really punished me #for our fights because she knew who the real problems was #but still #sucks to remember that the thing that actually made my mom wake up about my cousin was the fight she and my sister had In college #not me #(my mom is great this whole thing was just bad) #nothing I have ever said about my cousin has ever been taken as anything more than petty kid stuff apparently #‘oh those two. always fighting’ #god #anyway yeah this childhood experience has in no way informed how I write Curufin and Joffrey haha. ha ha. #Tribble post

[system-architect]

ngl im kinda excited to see how gunner would potentially react to the stabilized rata novus fractal!

u sent this ask to me 6 months ago and ive been kind of letting it marinate in my head while i also figure out how i really feel about soto and im proud to say that after half a year i finally have an answer for u:

he'd be fucking pissed

(long below)

i think that like, at first, gunner would be bonkers levels intrigued by the wizards and the fractal islands and everything about them conceptually. that's his jam. he would feel a bit salty and cheated he hadn't been 'let in on' all the wizard stuff before, because he feels that he works harder than anyone else and essentially deserves to have access to the same pool of knowledge that the wizards have and that it was basically kind of held back from him arbitrarily, but he digresses. it's at least cool to see Now

learning about and then entering the rata novus fractal island is where his opinion would shift heavily. i think he might be kind of initially excited.. it IS his home, without all the chak damage. it's intensely nostalgic to see. but after spending a few moments into it and learning more of its' premise (a rata novus that survived because they made 'different choices'), he'd feel... mocked and exploited, sort of.

for one, he'd feel weird and like it was dirty in a way that he, a living rata novan, was never simply asked any questions and then never had any sort of input on the creation of this thing. but more pressingly, seeing this sort of distorted 'happy bubble where nothing is wrong' version of the world would feel like it was mocking him specifically-- i mean, only 2% of the population of rata novus survived. he WATCHED these people die. he'd feel like the whole premise of the fractal was kind of shitty in a way-- that maybe if the rata novans made 'better choices' they wouldn't have all died or something, as it if was the entire city that brought on the destruction via mismanagement of chak+ley energy, not a small group consisting of zinn and his high council. furthermore, zinn gets to be here-- completely uncontested and flourshing in his happy-go-lucky leadership role, despite 1. gunner feeling that zinn is a colossal idiot 2. zinn having been one of the few who had survived and escaped in the first place.

on top of that all, it's an experiment, a simulacrum-- the entire city and all of the very real (if artificially created/reproduced) people inside can just be frozen or destroyed at will if the wizards have no use for them anymore. everything that rata novus actually was matters 0% here.

#my stuff #gunner #asura!gunner #gunner has a lot of grief from rata novus and witnessing everyone he cared about either die or go missing (like his dad) #one of those things where you kind of feel like the world has stopped #and you dont understand how other people can possibly keep on being normal or feeling cheery when something so life altering has happened #and you know its not their fault. theyre not you. but its hard to reckon with because you feel like your whole life just derailed or paused #its that.. but... everyone he Did lose... is abruptly going on like its normal #but its not real. its forced. and it was done without his knowledge #so his life continues to feel derailed while these little puppets of faces he recognize dance around in a fantasy land #in a version of life that shouldve been his

[gojover]

"longboarders don't know any cool tricks and just use boards to go around campus" (proceeds to not acknowedge dance/freestyle at all where i've seen several people kickflip 40+ inch long decks and I know someone who can kickflip one of these) "just step off the board" "just do powerslides" "just go fast" like do you know how hard that is. to keep it so honest with you figuring out how to ollie was way easier than figuring out how to aerograb (i still can't aerograb) "longboarders don't put in the effort skateboarders do" does this guy know about the blood toll jokes in the downhill space. and how bad road rash hurts. "longboards don't have a nose or tail" "can't do ramps or gaps" both bullshit there's decks that can do that and dancers exist.

#caltxt #AND STOP CALLING STREET DECKS NORMAL BOARDS?????????????? #longboarding came first what is this guy up to #this guy is doing a lot of damage to the skating community most of the people i've met that do street are super chill and kind #by making up narratives that don't really exist around skaters it damages the community to outsiders and makes new skaters feel like #they have to be pretentious elitists in a space already filled w misogyny and racism. like go talk to skaters in the community. chill out. #not only is op spreading misinfo about longboarding and the culture around it and the skills required but they're just pushing a narrative #okay hating over this just irked me really bad #skate stuff #i am being so honest about the kickflip guy i do know a guy #well i know 2 actually

[punkindness]

long rambling personal about chronic pain under the cut

on thursday's pt session they were having me work with someone different cause my usual was taking time off. he asked if anywhere hurt more during an exercise and i said my knees and he got all serious and had me do a thumb hypermobility stretch and asked if eds runs in my family, if i experience any other joint pain and for how long. i told him 'uh idk' and 'yes all over' and 'as long as i can remember but it's gotten really bad in recent years and i also have nerve pain' and then we just kinda looked at each other. and then he was like '...alright keep going with the exercise, i'm thinking' and at the end when he said goodbye he seemed like sad or guilty and opened the door for me and i didn't realize why at the time because the session had been harder than any of the others but not like insane but OH MY FUCKING GOD has my pain been bad this weekend. it's times like these that i'm glad i live with my family.

and also. i researched eds in more depth and. it's fucking uncanny. how the hell did this not come up when i was researching before because it is like exact and touches on some symptoms i hadn't even considered to be related to my pain. if it's not heds it's probably hsd i guess?? which is

#i was really weirdly happy at first when everything but the skin stuff was accurate to my symptoms #just cause for so long i've thought my pain was all in my head that i was going crazy #after the lower back xray and the arthritis blood tests came back normal i didn't know what else to think #so suddenly being able to find a community of people who are experiencing the same kind of symptoms and pain #and sharing tips for how to get through it? it's so cool! #but that sort of honeymoon phase in regards to it only lasted a day or so because this flare up is fuckin rough #now i'm mostly trying not to be worried about my abormally high heart rate #and trying not to give in to the allure of screens when i inevitably wake up in pain in the middle of the night #(i obviously broke tonight lol) #personal #vent #also the timing of this was insane because i made a friend with eds a few weeks ago and even did a quick google #afterwards cause we are both so similar that maybe our joint pain also has the same cause? #but i didn't even let myself get past the words “hypermobility” before exiting out because i've never considered myself to be flexible #if i had even kept scrolling for 10 more seconds i would have seen the line up of symptoms that almost completely matches mine lol #sorry for the rambling prolly gonna delete later im just tired and cant stop thinking about it cause yknow #pain

[infizero]

great now im thinking about sa2 again. it always circles back to this

#specifically thinking about eggman and tails' conversation at the very end. that shit is so insane i NEED more stuff like that #there is something about sa2's story that has never been replicated exactly again. and i think a part of that is just how much #the end of everything there seemed to affect just about everyone involved. #sonic and rouge were both saddened by shadow's death. and from the way eggman talks about it in shadow the hedgehog when admitting #that shadow isnt actually an android. it seems like he was also kind of shaken up from it. even tho of course most of it was his fault #like sa2's end just had this feeling of being So crazy and serious and a huge threat. theres been other times that the whole planet was #at risk of being destroyed. but i think what separates it and makes it feel so much more impactful is the aftermath #like not only did everyone including eggman have to team up to stop this threat. which already ups the stakes #but afterwards. that brief moment of peace. im constantly thinking about that ending cutscene #everything was so serious and impactful that after it was all over. they couldnt just go back to normal. everyone involved had to just. #take a moment #the fact that eggman just stands there. and speaks very genuinely to TAILS of all people. about his grandfather and how he idolized #him as a boy. i cant recall any other scene in the whole franchise where something like that happens. where for a brief moment #they arent fighting and eggman just. chills there with them. and speaks to them as if they aren't heroes and villain #they've had other alliances sure. but nothing like this where they just. coexist. #ive always been so obsessed with it. god #serena.txt