I can’t do this anymore
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x wife!reader
Warnings: fights and mentions of divorce.
Summary: Y/n is tired of living in a marriage where she is the only one who puts him as a priority.
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I knew that marriages were not easy, and I also knew that it would be hard to be married to a guy who spends most of the year away from home.
Carlos and I met when we were 20, dated for 5 and have been married for 3, we have never had any problems that would make me think about not being with him anymore.
But lately this thought has been haunting me and silently torturing me.
We are already at a stage in our relationship where we should be thinking about having a family, or are already trying to.
Actually I was thinking about it but it seems that Carlos wants to avoid this thought at all costs.
I try to bring him into a conversation and he cuts me off, changes the subject or even says that he can't be a father right now.
This weekend was the race in Spain and me and his family were here cheering for him.
"Are you okay honey?" His mother asks.
"Yeah, just a little nauseous." At the same time she smiles.
"Honey that's great, I knew you and Carlos were at that part of the relationship but I didn't think it was this close."
"No, no I'm not pregnant." Her smile fades. "I wanted to but I'm not and I don't think I will be for a long time."
"What do you mean?"
"It's nothing." I try to deflect the subject.
"Come on, let's get some coffee." I sigh and go with her.
After we buy the coffees and find a quieter place and she returns to the subject.
"Is something going on with you and Carlos? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, or at least I think so."
"Do you want to tell me?"
"It's just that we've been together for many years now and I thought by this point in our relationship we'd be planning to have a family and everything but Carlos doesn't seem very interested in that." I took a sip of my coffee. "I guess we are at different points in our lives."
"And that worries you doesn't it?"
"It's just that Carlos has putting his career first more than anything right now and I know how important it is to him and that's not a problem for me, it never has been. It's just that at the end of it all what we have in life is our family and I don't want to have to wait any longer for him to decide he wants to before we get started."
"I'm sorry about that." I smiled and wiped my tears away.
"It's okay." She smiles and we remain silent.
…
We were already back at home, Carlos had come in second place and obviously wasn't one of the happiest but he wasn't unhappy either.
"Can we talk?" I asked sitting down next to him on the couch.
"I'm tired now."
"But you're not to watch soccer aren't you." I said ironically starting to get up but he held my hand and turned off the TV.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Let's talk."
"We're fine aren't we?"
"Of course we're fine, why are you asking that?”
"Because I feel like every time I go to talk to you about our family or the lack of it you cut me off and change the subject and that makes me feel like you don't want or you don’t want with me."
"Love is not that." He comes closer and wipes a tear that has run down my cheek. "It's not that I don’t want to have a family with you but we can't right now."
"What do you mean we can't now?"
"It's just that I really feel like I have a chance to win this year and I can't have any distractions." At this I laughed wryly.
"Distractions? Is that what I am to you? A fucking distraction." I get up from the couch. "I’m sorry Carlos that I'm a distraction to you and that me thinking about our future is something that bothers you so much, but I'm not going to stand here and let my life pass me by just because you don't want to have a family."
"What does that mean?"
"That I can't do this anymore." He got up from the couch. "I don't want to wait around anymore waiting for you to decide whether or not to have children because I want to, I want to be a mother, I want to leave something in this world after I die and I'm not going to wait around for you anymore."
"What are you saying?"
"I want a divorce."
"What? Babe don’t say that."
"I've already made up my mind Carlos. I've been thinking about it for a while and I didn't want this because I love you so much but you're leaving me no other option." He tries to get close to me but I pull away. "I'm going to get my things and go to my parents house and I'm going to start divorce proceedings as soon as possible."
I didn't even let him speak, I just went upstairs to our room and grabbed a suitcase and started putting some things inside.
When I came downstairs he was sitting on the couch in shock.
"I'll get the rest of my stuff another time." He doesn't even look at me and I even think he heard well so I just walked out leaving my whole life behind.
And that's when I realized that the worst feeling is when you don't want to give up on someone but you know you have to.
Let me know if you guys are interested in a part 2
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