#sorry i’m under control

[esha-isboogara]

this is home

i’m sure we all know by now i have two types. big bad ass mfs who kill people for fun and pathetic little sweethearts who have mommy issues. today i will be writing for abner krill bc i just fell in love with him in suicide squad 😩and i def don’t have a lil crush on david dasmalchian <33. HERES SOME CONTENT FOR THOSE WHO WANT IT IK YALL ARE PARCHED !!!!

abner krill x afab reader

just some soft abner ;)

☆mentions of trauma sort of, poor lil meow meow alert

“abner? honey? would you mind letting the cat back in please ? I can’t remember if i did it earlier. she has a habit of leaving the yard if she’s out too long”.

he awoke with a start , his breathing labored. If he was going to die now he wasn’t going down without a fight. it took a moment for him to recognize his surroundings but once he did his muscles relaxed.

“i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to startle you. i thought you were awake , i must have scared you have to death my poor baby”. she continued wrapping her arms around his waist and planting a gentle kiss on nape of his neck. “it’s ok my love it’s just me …no need for panic it’s okay you can just relax now”.

the familiar embrace of his lover filled his body with warmth. he couldn’t help but relax against her body. her arms wrapped around his torso gave him a sense of true safety.

glancing up he met the happy eyes looking down at him. they were y/n’s. he could never forget them.

“i’m ..i’m sorry i still have nightmares sometimes and they’re not easy to control. i’ve been working on it in therapy recently but it’s taking a while I’m really sorry -“

she pressed her index finger to his lips indicating him to stop talking.

“i’ve been dating you for almost a year and a half now abner you don’t need fo explain yourself to me. i know what you went through was not easy in the least bit and i don’t expect you to get over it any time soon. i’m gonna be here anyway”.

her voice sounded so silky and comforting. she was always so accepting of him. gently she ran her hands through his hair resting his head on his chest.

“i uh.. i love you”.

she smiled and giggled. “i know you do and i love you just as much if not more”.

running her hands through his hair she placed a few kisses on his forehead. “do you feel safe ? i’m going to check on sakē real quick. i’ll be right back”.

he shot up. “no.i can do it. you don’t have to get up. it’s okay”. the last thing he wanted to do was make her do any kind of extra work.

taking care of him had to have taken a tole on her. any time he was able to lighten her load he would do so in the blink of an eye.

“you can just rest here. i got it darling boy”.

as he tried to get up she pulled him back. “i’m so proud of you. just so you know i think you’re doing so much better”.

for a moment she just held him close enjoying feeling his warm skin against hers. it was so nice to have him home.

home. this was home.

#he’s my lil meow meow #poor lil meow meow #lil guy needs a hug #my sweet baby boy #abner needs a hug #abner krill #abner krill x reader #polkadot man #polkadot man x reader #suicide squad #suicide squad 2 #villain x reader #dc comics #dc comic villain #hurt/comfort #david dastmalchian #GAHHH HES SO HOT #sorry i’m under control #daviad dasmalchian x reader #fluff #fluffy blurb #fluffy drabble #drabble #blurb #if you’re reading this #i love you #we’re starving for content #anyways #esha writes

[almightyshadowchan]

After a fight 😚

#sasunaru #narusasu #sns #naruto #you’re really lucky i was around to save your sorry bastard ass! #excuse me I’M not the idiot who decided to catch a sword with my guts #HEY i had everything perfectly under control! #if by ‘under control’ you meant ‘needed a one-armed man to patch you up before your insides became outsides’ then yes yes you did #my fanart

[tharkflark1]

Steel Wool doing their best to continue to show/tell us that Monty killed Bonnie without just outright telling us and yet people are still just like “wE dOnT kNoW!1!” is both hilarious and sad

#fnaf #fnaf help wanted #help wanted 2 #help wanted 2 spoilers #Glamrock Bonnie #montgomery gator #I just feel bad for steel wool at this point #I’m so sorry so many people don’t have basic media literacy #‘Monty was under Vanny’s control’ literally why would she get rid of Bonnie #Bonnie would be another animatronic under her belt to use in sb #and the Gator gold mini game and Ruin tells us that Monty’s jealous of Freddy #so killing Bonnie would be the best way to get into the band #also the animatronics are basically sentient

[laniidae-passerine]

I’m probably deeply biased because he is played by Rahul Kohli but I’m on the 4th episode of The Fall of the House of Usher and I’m finding Leo Usher significantly more sympathetic than his siblings

#NO SPOILERS PAST EP 4 PLEASEEEEE #oh he cheats? and he does drugs? and he sucks as a person? #like yeah of course he does he’s a trust fund baby #and yes he killed that cat. but I feel like he wouldn’t have killed that cat if Verna wasn’t in control #like everyone else is Truly Horrible #they abuse their subordinates and sexually manipulate them #or they plan to blackmail people with cctv footage of consensual sex acts and drug use including their sister in law #or LET A WOMAN POSSIBLY DIE IN SURGERY WHEN THEY THINK SHE’S A POOR PERSON WITH A HEART DEFECT AND LIE TO HER ABOUT THE CHANCE OF DEATH #LIKE VICTORINE IS EVIL IM SORRY SHE MAY BE HOT BUT SHE’S EVIL #sorry leo you didn’t deserve to die like that you were a grade a asshole but I could see there was a heart and a kindness #buried under the drugs and your father’s influence and money. rehab and therapy and being cut off could have saved you #I’m not questioning Verna. but I’m saying hey honey maybe this one. this one could have been a better fix #YO VERNA GAY???? WIN #the fall of the house of usher #leo usher

[janiedean]

will get to all your lovely replies asap but for now let me get down the mood with my usual

fuck but i really do hate this month and everything it represents or better the fact that each single year it gets just more miserable

#i’m sorry fuck i wish i liked christmas i do #but i haven’t felt anything close to enjoyment of the period since what was it right ten exact years #every single fucking one of them it just got MORE fucking depressing #we dont talk about covid times because god i wish i could delete them from my existence #two years ago it was just depressing af #last year for a miracle it was halfway okay and hey managed to spend one with the grandmother for once #except she died three months later and this one it will be….. meh but the rest of the month has been a total nervewreck already #but of course EVERYWHERE around you is like JOYOUS TIME EVERYONE IS HAPPY SEASON OF MAGIC #as it is i’mma have to do half of the presents in january ffs #ah right forgot today was the anniversary of the other grandmother dying #and the entire first week is anniversary of 2020 nervous wreck of doom so hey that’s all fine #yeah that happened no i had no plans to mention it good luck to me wanting to move over that specific instance ig #i just wanna stop feeling stuck in being miserable until december 26th arrives and i can hope to get my shit under control the year after #yeah sorry for the pity party i’m just not feeling great whatsoever add feeling totally useless to the list and here we are #i’mma just go catch up on replies now just god now i feel like crap bc the moment i opened the app i just vomited out negativity g r e a t #personal for ts #janie rants

[spineless-lobster]

I need to commit murder I think that would fix me

#sorry my brain is screaming and scratching at me for no reason #I haven’t even had a full week of school yet I don’t know why I’m so stressed #like there’s a lot of stuff but I have it all under control so I have no idea why my brain is so angry and stressed #like the simplest things are setting me off like my parents are just talking to me normally and I feel like screaming at them #and the fact that I’m stressed for no reason just makes me even more angry because like why?!?!? #girl there is nothing wrong why are you upset??? #I have no idea why school is affecting me so much this year I’ve done this for like eleven years you think I’d be used to it #whatever it’s my last year I can do it #if the captain can survive a war I can survive school lmao

[corrodedcoughin]

younger Eddie being excited to go to sleep because he unintentionally figured out lucid dreaming so he could plan entire dnd campaigns and feel like he was creating his own fantasy world

Sometimes he’d just go to the shire and hang out with his favourite characters, watching Gandalf’s fireworks, eating with the hobbit and hearing stories from Aragorn and Boromir while being infatuated by Legolas and Gimli’s interactions with each other

#eddie munson #stranger things #sleep was an escape for Eddie #the upside down took that away #he lost the lucid ability and no longer being able to control the monsters of his imagination was potentially the scariest part #of going to sleep #he did his best to avoid sleep through different vices #one day when he’s at family video to return tapes Robin tells him to go to their break room #he looks awful and the deep bruises under his eyes worry her #Steve is taking his break and Eddie goes to sit next to him on the couch #he doesn’t realise how tired he is until he’s waking up with his head on Steve’s shoulder and hearing him hum #love grows where my rosemary goes over Eddie’s head as he flips through a magazine #turns out he’d only been asleep ten minutes but there were no nightmares #he starts to come by to sleep at the shop more regularly when eventually Steve just starts inviting him over #Eddie is uncertain but agrees and most nights he ends up unceremoniously passed out near or on Steve as a movie plays and he and Robin #bicker in low voices and Steve runs a hand over Eddie’s back #slowly the lucid dreams start to come back #and if that means Eddie starts to play out his romancing Steve might go #well let’s just call that tactical research #idkkkkkkk this is silly I’m sorry I get carried away

[awoooniper]

sad (angry) girl hours under the cut

sorry to like. get in my feelings publicly online but i wish i didn’t harbor some bones-deep jealousy and resentment of girls who i think are pretty in the ways i wish i were pretty.

like. people i love and respect can tell me i’m pretty all day long but it doesn’t change the fact that I Don’t Fucking See It In Myself. and when i see girls who are pretty in the ways i want to be, who have cute faces and don’t need makeup to look pretty and have hips and whose body fat sits on them in nice feminine ways. and this isn’t even like. jealousy of cis girls, it’s trans girls who have it in the way i want to have it too. nor does it affect whether i think others are attractive, it’s just a standard i hood myself against because fundementally I’m Not The Way I Want To Be and i can’t change it.

maybe i could bear it if it was just jealousy but it comes with an anger i can feel making me bitter and resentful of my sisters and i don’t want to feel that way towards them!i want to look at other girls who i think are cute in the way i wish i was cute an feel happy for them.

i want to look in the mirror and feel happy for myself.

#vent #sorry this is stupid and if i’m smart i’ll delete it in the morning but let’s be real i’m not smart. #it’s just almost 2 in the morning and i should be asleep because i have to pack and get ready in the morning and instead i’m sitting here #stewing in my own jealousy and i have never and maybe will never be able to shake it. never be able to turn off that critical voice that #tells me i need to do better even when it’s not a thing under my control. #i just wish i was Like That and not Like This. #ugh. #anyway.

[soshinee]

the class i took abt black american literature and fugitivity in american art this past semester was incredible. like truly diving deep into how blackness has always been inextricable from americanness in every aspect of society, how black stories and art have always been so potent and beautiful that white ppl have done everything in their power throughout history to take those narratives and themes for themselves in pale imitations… and even though i had always known that black artists shaped american culture as we know it, i never rlly had the structure or framework of analysis (or even resources) to look at literature and films throughout american history and see the through-lines starting from even before the united states was officially founded… even concepts like “the road” in literature, art, film, music, etc, which is extremely tied to american ideals of freedom, travel, and “the frontier” (so to speak), have always had the underpinnings of considering who is not allowed the same access to the road, or who has access but only in a very limited or modified capacity (such as escaping slavery, in particular). and once you start reading and watching and listening with all this in mind it becomes impossible to unsee, especially with 20th century works

#sorry my english major is pulling on the leash in a big way rn but i’m getting her under control #but i wld love to keep talking abt this and literature in general if anyone cares🫶 #and i can also share some great sources abt ‘the road’ as an american archetypes and abt black fugitivity in general #*archetype #from my syllabus and from the research/work i did for the class

[coconut530]

Gotta be one of the coolest Dragon Prince seasons ever, my god 🌊💔🧞📚🧜🏼‍♀️🎣🏴‍☠️🪵👶🏻

#The Dragon Prince #Jeeeeeeez #The first four eps were a bit rocky for me #But after 5 it was nonstop goodness #Like when we went to Scumport it was just MMMMMM #Finnegrin is a great villain #Could’ve been more piratey if I’m honest #But like the glow toad story and like how they developed his need for control was so well done #Nyx coming back was a nice touch #And like the final fights??? So good #Janai and Amaya vs Karim and Kim’dael was very epic #Although MIYANA I— *sighs deeply* #Zubeia so sorry girl shouldn’t have happened to you #And when she thought of Avizandum AUGH #And then the coolest was Callum Ezran and Rayla vs Claudia #Veryyyyy cool #Although she was like “I’m not evil this is just who I am >:D!” And then proceeded to strangle Ezran #Girl that definitely falls under the category of evil #And like the final scenes we got of everyone were so impactful #But again for something titled “Mystery of Aaravos” why’s he only in one (1) scene!?!?!?! #Anyway yes TDP very good everyone go watch

[ehnrat]

Polite voice can only get you so far until some lady starts yelling at you at 8:30a in the morning what 😦

#please I am just a simply data guy I don’t have control over the company lmaooo 😭 #she was MAD MAD OMGOSH ALDGAKDHSJS #me: ‘I understand I can take a mess—‘ her: NO YOU DON’T UNDER STAND 🤬 #me: maybe I don’t 😦 #I licherally can’t control ppl who are away in a meeting and I’m like 1+hour away from the main office lmao #I’m the only one in this branch atm by my lonesome 😭 #sorry to my boss who I had to transfer that call to 😦 #ehn rambles

[buriesitsteeth]

Hm.

#had a dream about ex-besties again #and when I said ‘I’m sorry hearing briefly about the ab*se I was being subjected to at home and my parent’s su*cide attempts were so #annoying and boring for you. you were my only people I could trust #to open up to in the moment while I was panicking and having to very much #confront the fact that my parent was going to die. #but I’m sorry it was irritating or whatever.’ #I was so right #I know friends do not exist as therapists but #I do not see how you can be all ‘oh my guy that’s awful but this this and this are ab*sive behaviours. you act this was because you are #traumatised here read this yeah yeah we need to get you out of there yeah’ #one day and then the next just #cut me out like I’m some sort of cancer #if at any point they’d said hey I don’t have the emotional bandwidth rn I’m sorry #I’d have been so understanding and shut the fuck up #genuinely! I get it! #but I don’t see how you can have a friend #who is going through so much and none of it is under their control #who still manages to be there for everyone else when they’re having problems at home including you #who just once every few months needs to go ‘oh shit I need someone to talk to if you’re not busy rn/if you can deal w that atm’ in a LITERAL #CRISIS where they have no one else to lean on #and who will need support if they’re going to eventually leave home #and go ‘meh whatever I’m going to end the friendship in the worst and most damaging way I can think of lol’???? #like?? everyone else around me is like oh just move on move on #but I’m just going over and over it in my head #How can you know the wounds and then drive the knife in anyway? #I don’t think people understand like I don’t let anyone close because this is what happens #and so to trust #more than you’ve ever trusted anyone ever #and have them suddenly disappear? without a word?

[hardlypartying]

want to pop in and say im alive!! barely, but im still here!

i’ve been swamped with some real hard-ass frighteningly-real-life shit that have all decided to show up all at once.

for me writing is something i find time for because it’s completely therapeutic but right now i’ve been having to delegate my time to some not-so-fun stuff and i haven’t had the time to write. im hoping that changes soon but just want to give y’all a heads up that there’ll be (even more) of a lull in the near future :( but the light at the end of the tunnel is that krcg will 100% be completed—i have everything mapped out and it’s just the logistics of time that stands between me and the story being completed!

#if I could quit my big girl job and just write 24/7 I would #I’m already up until 4 doing it so what’s the difference #I haven’t had time to even edit the next chapter and it’s killlinnnnggf me #I have all these thoughts and lines and my notes app is overflowing with them bc I haven’t been able to sit down and actually write #I’m about to burst #so sorry I’ll be MIA until I get my irl shit under control which is a good thing bc then I’ll be able to have this under control #say a little prayer for me #also pls don’t be nasty in the ask im literally human and trying my best™️ #thank you all for sticking with me <3 #hoping to sneak in some time here and there to edit for this next chapter

[blueish-bird]

love and peace to you, today I’m practicing the tumblr ritual of saving everything to drafts to reblog later because I’m currently lacking in self to express

#csm site I use hasn’t update with the new chapter yet… have heard horrible things and am excited #have you guys heard about the new speaker of the house? he’s awful. legitimately scary. I want to move out of the us. #Fundie Fridays and Some More News both did videos on him #fuck american politics #my thoughts #meposting #personal #vent #sometimes I forget that I’m not having a good time in my living environment. #wondering why I feel so empty and unacceptable while I’m living under an ultimatum to either (re-)closet myself or move out #and like… I can’t isolate myself but I also don’t want to subject my friends to my company bc. I don’t feel good. #I’m having a hard time feeling present and pleasant and thoughtful. and I want to be a better friend than that. #and I’m backsliding on my communication and boundary-setting skills too bc I feel less safe. I’ve. had my trust betrayed by the ‘rents ig #so now I feel like I did when I was younger — that I exist for others rather than with. which is scary. #loss of perceived control over myself my relationships #sorry for the overshare it’s something I’m very good at doing and do often. world champ! #fuck… think I’m going to go up to stay with my aunts for a couple extra days I’m tired of feeling stuck here

[andrewmnyard]

leaving the funeral today i asked my dad if S is going to be buried (wanted to leave flowers if so) and my dad was like ‘no bc the police still have him bc he could’ve been murdered’ 🤡 deeply untrue and also thank god he didn’t say that until we weren’t inside anymore

#I was in charge of trying to keep my dad under control #and I think i did ok 😭 he didn’t say anything out of pocket until we left but then it was DEEPLY out of pocket #he’s such a conspiracy theorist and I’m like !!!!!! #S was in an accident he wasn’t MURDERED #and also I don’t think the police still ‘have him’! his family probably just haven’t decided !!!!! #this is the only place I can talk about this stuff I’m really sorry for the sad posts this week #they will probably continue #im shaken up #death tw

[janiedean]

me looking at stannis baratheon 99% of the time: i’m this picture and i dont like it

me looking at stannis baratheon 1% of the time: i’m this picture and i don’t particularly like it and our coping methods are unhealthy af but hey at least it means i can somewhat function it could be worse

#fellas is it healthy to go like okay i’m gonna absolutely detach from each single emotion i might be emoting #hell no #but considering the alternative it’s probably better #i’m already having my stomach being a mess of anxiety eating it up i don’t need it to proceed forward #could i be physically sick yes #is it happening tf it’s not #i’ll take that but good grief why can’t i just not feel like i have zero shit under control #and else #like would like to spend (1) week without feeling wholly inadequate for everything i do #anyway sorry is2g i’ll come back without being like this at some point soon