#sorry i just dont have the energy rn. ill do it later

[uranium]

feel free to ignore this if you want but I'd be really interested to hear what it is about radiation that makes it so fascinating to you & why you feel compelled to work with it? as someone with pretty bad health anxiety where any risk of cancer is a trigger I just can't wrap my head around it lol

hi!!! okay sorry i have a cold right now so im kind of out of it but. radiation is SO interesting to me because it is something that has an aspect of danger to it, but also has the potential to do a LOT of good as well. fusion energy is likely to take off at some point, but we haven't even gotten it to truly Work yet, and its going to take years and years and years and years to get it to a commercial scale that can begin to take over the very pressing threat of the coal industry.

nuclear, on the other hand, is something we know how to do. we've known how to do it for a while, and many of the mistakes and accidents that have occurred were because shortcuts were taken to avoid spending more money on critical safety measures and proper employee training. these days we have even safer technologies and i believe workers and government agencies are a lot more cautious now that we know what can go wrong. there's also a HUGE medical sector of nuclear - although it's not my main interest, i'm also working to help create an element in a nuclear reactor (previously only made in particle accelerators) that is extremely rare but has shown amazing results in its ability to straight up fucking cure cancer. unfortunately, a lot of the caution as mentioned above has turned to extreme levels of fear to the point most people freak out as soon as nuclear anything is mentioned.

this becomes a problem because. and im sorry i dont have the source on me rn ill grab it later but literally the coal industry puts out radiation and has a measurable impact on increased cancer levels in the US than the nuclear industry even comes close to. coal and fossil fuels are absolutely decimating our planet at a breakneck speed. ive taken classes on current air pollution and its expectations in the future that left me more panicked than anything ive read on individual nuclear accidents. we HAVE the technology to have nuclear used on a mass scale in the US (many other countries do) and there are thousands of scientists all over the country working to make it even safer and to solve the problem of long term nuclear waste management(which my research group is doing!)

also, working with radiation is usually....pretty safe! people generally do not want to get highly irradiated. i love radiation but that doesn't mean i want to get blasted by it, or risk huge chances of getting blasted by it. i work at a research reactor and i usually have to wear 2-3 dosimeters at all times in there, and get in trouble whenever im not. there are alarms stationed everywhere for the slightest increase in radiation, and we work with extreme amounts of caution. we recently had what we considered a Huge Mistake where a sample we were given to irradiate came out much hotter than we expected and everyone got dosed higher than usual. the highest dose someone got was 25 millirem. you need 10,000 millirem to get a 0.8% increase in cancer. this was our major scare. on an average day of work my dosimeter reads a dose of.....0.0 mrem. maybe 0.01 if it was in a high field. our supervisor has been working with radiation since he was 19 and is now close to 90 and one of the healthiest elderly people i know, and bro has been exposed to multiple curies in one go and came out fine.

pretty much, yes. there is a risk in what i am doing. i cant look anybody in the eyes and say there is an absolute 0% chance of me getting sick or injured with this work but i am far too fascinated by the...."magic" of radiation, as well as the vast amounts of good it can do for humanity, to let that stop me. many jobs have MUCH more dangerous risks, and higher rates of cancer, than a modern radiation worker.

#sorry if this is rambly. my brain is currently underwater

[floralbfs]

trying to gather the courage to tell anyone i feel awful

#ive been ill for so long but i can't tell anyone bc i dont want to feel like a burden #today's just been really hard and i want to tell my mom i feel bad but shes on a trip and i dont want to worry her #and im p sure my sisters can see that im not ok but i mean nobody says anything so i dont either #and it's not like they can really do anything to help me so i don't want to bother them uselessly #and i kind of should text my doctor bc ive been having a Really Awful Time plus my new meds aren't working but hhhhh #idk i. i don't know i just can't #i asked my therapist for a session but she said ok and i havent texted back because i don't know what to say so we havent set up a time #or anything nsbdbs and im just. im not having a good time at all #i made myself some boiled pears bc i can't stomach much rn but ive only eaten like two squares of it #and im feeling So Bad and i just want to feel better and to be okay but i just.... im not and i can't bear it anymore #i want to tell someone about it but i Can't and i just. #god i want to go to sleep already but it's literally not even 5:30 #i at least want to talk to my friends so i can feel better but i barely have energy to stay awake much less nicely hold a conversation #and i feel like if i talk i'll sound soulless and i might be asked if im ok and i won't know what to say #so anyways ive been trying to psych myself up to telling someone im not feeling ok but ive been unable to and i just feel so bad #god ive been crying so much today im going to go and try to distract myself from feeling sad #sorry for not talking a lot btw!!! i havent really had any energy like at all and i didn't really want to make like a lot of negative posts #so ive just stayed silent and tried to tend to my queue but i just. idk i just needed to let this out #might delete it later sorry for this #honey talk #ask to tag #negative / #maybe???

[gumdecay]

.

#my most disgusting habit (jk there r worse.. my toxic trait ??) is that i regularly dnt finish my drinks n find then days later n drink them #evn tho the vodka is warm n nasty n w/e i used 2 mix is flat n old n yuckie......... cant waste it tho! 👊😔 nyway im a lil daydrunk n i hav #2 grocery shop soon n uhhhh @ this point i rlly do hope i get sick n die lmfao @ my immune system just kill me already bitch we r tired of w #aiting -_- genuinely my menchul helth hasnt been this fucked since i was...................... idek since the last time i Srsly tried 2 kms #(i mean b4 the last time.. which was recent n didnt count bc nothing happened n only a few ppl evn knew i *ttempted lmao) #nyway FUCK a quarantine i am losing my goddamn mind here :') #like lichrally all the hehe uwu i have more time 2 try new things shit is wearing thin n eye am lichrally spending evry hr of the die trying #2 convince myself that it wld b Bad Achually 2 die :') guilt is the only thing keeping me from attempting n like...... idk. i shldnt b talki #abt it here but also. who cares where i talk abt it LMAO im not gnna do shit but Wrow eye am Srsly Unwell folks lmao #i told the b*y i am feeling v bad n in a lot of pain n Trying my Best 2 take carea myself (read as: not die) n he just said please please do #as in.. please take care of urself.. bitch if u dont SHUT the fuck UP i swear to GOD i will ghost ur ass....... no 'im sorry ur in pain' no #'is there anything i can do' no 'i wish i were with u' no NOTHING but do bttr bitch stop hurting LMFAO like........ god........... okay..... #nyway bye i hate coming on here idek if my queue is still goin but im 2....... idk i just dnt care 2 scroll mindlessly n fill it again lmfao #my whole body hurts from the strain of Not Killing Myself n eye am trying not 2 worry evry1 who gives a shit abt me n eye am trying 2 keep #myself occupied n hnstly i just wanna take seroquel evry time i wake up so i can pass back out lmfao but instead im staying Mildly Tipsy 24/ #7 so i @ the V least dnt have 2 think as much but obv 2d it isnt working........... i still have a cup of coffeetho guess ill dump more #rumchata in it lmfao see if that helps :') idk 4r i am v unwell n v tired n i wish i cld d** w/o hurting ny1s feelings abt it lmao but i can #t so i wont n itll b........ miserable but fine! same as the rest of life has been lmfao #i feel bad im ignoring so many mssgs but genuinely i dnt ahve the mental capacity rn 2 keep up conversations in which im not allowed 2 b a #suicidal mess like............ ALL my energy is going in2 not killing myself i genuinely just dnt have the ability 2 pretend 2 b Fine n Okay #n Positive Outlook n Healing Nature rn lmfao so w/e if evry1 hates me coming outta this n thats fine :') #ok BYE ill shut the fuckup now lmao

[hyucc]

#sorry i wasnt on yesterday and im sorry i wont really be in today.... #im so exhausted mentally rn but ill probably be back later tonight or tomorrow :((? #i hope you guys are doing well :< i love you lots and ill still answer dms or anons/asks i just dont have much energy to post constantly :<

[heleizition]

Hello, can I please get some steph or cass or duke headcanons because all the others' backstories have been kind of covered? It's totally fine if you don't wanna, just wanted to say I love your au :) have a good day!!!

IM SORRY AA im not really sure how to integrate duke yet into the family (like he’s here and Adopted and hs parents are alive and Not Ok i think but idk HOW yk ????) and cass’s backstory doesnt change much, she just doesnt keep on Fighting,,, steph is a bit more complicated i think ? ill get into it at some point i swear ;_; !!!!!! but here are a few shifter au hc on duke, steph and cass !!!!

• steph is the one who taught tim how to skateboard !!!! and also rollers, later

• steph : id sell bruce for two cornflakes

also steph : bruce maybe ur not my dad but ur also kind of the only father figure i have rn and i rly need to be told im doing good and to get a hug but ur annoying and i dont like u but ur also kind of my dad anyway give me a fucking hug or ill bite u • cass sometimes goes out shifted into a bat to follow bruce bc a) she wants to make sure her dad is fine b) its fucking funny that the batman is followed by a bat dont u think • duke has his light powers and they’re slowly developping and he’s getting help from the league and sometimes everything is too much and he gets big headaches,,,, there is always a sibling to cuddle with to make the pain Go tho

• STEPH BECOMES A VETERINARIAN which also takes care of shifters when shifted btw

• duke gets his shifting from his dad who was also a komodo dragon

• duke is pretty close to jason they are book nerds together, but they also have widely different opinions on books which ends up with loud book debates at 2 in the morning (dont ask me about those specific opinions i havent read a book in my life thanks)

• cass is mostly verbal after two to three years after being adopted, but they all learned sign language for her. she uses it with tim and jason the most bc the three of them have non verbal days.

• steph’s favorite cuddle buddy is dick (as coyote steph and panther dick)

• cass isn’t sure what she wants to do yet but she got into a lot of different activities. one of her favorite is scuba diving.

• im still not sure what duke will do in the future sobs he’s still confused bc he got a Lot on his mind between his parents and his meta abilities and his shifting that gets to be a bit of a pain in the winter bc winter takes up a lot of energy for him

• cass is the second best at finding tim when he’s hiding (second only to selina who is also Cat and she may or may have not mom instinct when it comes to tim)

• one of cass’s favorite place to doze off is shifted, into an apron’s pocket, while jay or alfred cook. it smell nice and they both either sing or talk to her or hum,, its nice

• steph’s mom isnt a shifter ! it comes from arthur brown sadly >:( sometimes it makes steph upset 

• steph’s mom loves when steph is shifted and worked out muscles to be able to carry her coyote daughter and thats so very nice

• duke voice hey u think u could be pal with killer croc ???? we are scally buddies idk man

dick voice duke . duke no . duke .

• duke is the best imposter in among us

• duke blushed everytime dick, cass, jay and tim have called him little brother or an equivalent for the first few months  after hes been adopted.

• damian always goes to cass when he’s angry or needs to let off some steam bc they have both been Trained to kill and can handle each other

mmmm thats all my brain can muster rn i simply Love Them

#shifter au #ask me #thank u for asking about them cries #Anonymous

[ibelonginthepast]

Hunk for the character ask thing??

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HUNK!!!! FINALLY!!! I am such a ho for him sorry

Sexuality Headcanon: i have no particular fixed pref, he could be straight, but i like to think he's bi throughout. I think he is a believer of fluid sexuality, so he doesn't really fits himself in a label. He goes along with whoever he likes.

Gender Headcanon: I sometimes like to hc him as a trans man (ftm). He/him pronouns. He was cultured into toxic masculinity. He has had his struggles with it. He was teased for being soft because of his anxiety issues. His tendency to be emotional and expressive. He has had been a victim of toxic masculinity constantly, even adopted it and perpetuated it further for a while before giving up. He is passionate about healthy masculinity and really understands it now. He is a fierce feminist and in for breaking the patriarchy.

A ship I have with said character: the thing is i hate Canon. I dont like the first sight first meet fall in love kind of thing they did with hunk and shay, but with what I headcanon shay as, I think she is perfect for him. He would balance her head on approach to stuff, and she will balance his tendency to ponder. He is a total simp for shay. He's a sucker for a simple calm life, while shay is on the ambitious side, and he fully supports her.

A BROTP I have with said character: hance is a given. heith! I will fucking die for this. I love thinking up stories of how Keith, despite being the one to struggle to open up, will inevitably fall for hunk. Hunk is just so approachable, so welcoming, so loving. I see hunk as also very fierce. He will stand in front as a literal physical shield to protect the ones he loves. He is dedicated when he loves and he never gives up on anyone. This is something he will share with Keith. One of the only people who will relate with Keith on a soul level on this. Punk!!! I love it. So much. Hunk is just amazing at platonic relationships. Hunk takes care of pidge a lot, they are his sibling. They simp on tech together ofc!! Even tho Shiro is everyone's dad, hunk cares for him, brings him his energy drinks and blankets all the time cause let's be real Shiro is low-key wishing death all the time and does not care for himself. Hunk is one of those peeps who scream SHIRO! NO! everytime Shiro makes a bad joke about death. Hunk's caring nature extends to everyone. Allura again is bad at taking care of herself, and he helps. He defo teaches allura samoan box braids!!! Coran too. Hunk bakes with coran sitting beside, chatting unrelentlessly but here's the thing, Hunk doesn't tolerate it. He genuinely likes listening to people and knowing them. One of the reasons he goes so well with Lance.

A NOTP I have with said character: humph he could go with anyone ngl. Shunk is extra weird to me, Shiro is a dad through and through i ew shaladins.

A random headcanon:

Despite what people think, hunk thinks he struggles with words. He uses food to express love. If he feels distant with anyone, he cooks for them.

Hunk does get tired after caring for people so much, but he has healthy nice fam around him who he lets take care of him too. He knows he needs to care for himself, and after some time of struggling with it, he now proudly take care of himself as well.

Hunk has struggled with severe anxiety. He has had panic attacks, complete meltdowns. His family was a bit pressurizing in terms of his career and all, and he has always felt responsible to get an excellent job in the stem section to make his parents proud.

He got into stem because of his parents, but he developed his love for it later too. He genuinely started finding STEM very interesting.

He contributed in making of fun robots in school's stem centres all the time. He had a teacher who was obsessed with making anime monsters, and even though hunk himself hates gore and shit he had fun making those and sometimes watched those weird ass animes and talked about how those wild ass writers were defo on weed while writing the script. He bonded over weeb stuff surprisingly with Shiro ;)

He hasn't been the smartest forever, like pidge. He actually worked his way to it. He is very dedicated, hard working and passionate.

He has undiagnosed ADD, but it hasn't interferred with him fitting in much. He has been able to do his work, and he recognized some tricks to focus early in life. His anxiety drives him to work as much as it distracts him. he just discovers his ADD later in therapy.

He makes pretty notes. He has an unhealthy obsession with pastel yellow highlighter.

Hunk is very well equipped with samoan tattoo art designs and understanding them. it's something his grandparents taught him since forever. His grandfather did tattoos and he saw them when he was little. He wants to get atleast some sort of soga'i miki. He's been always conflicted about wanting Pe'a cause its so beautiful and masculine in expression and not wanting it because it's so painful and permanent.

Because he has lived in America his whole life, he has struggled with his national identity a lot. He gets taunted by by family in samoa for being American and for speaking english better than samoan. He doenst always fit in well in america either for obvious reasons. He has struggled with feeling like he belongs. Its something he bonds with Lance on.

He is passionate about dismantling the social organization in samoa and its ill effects. He understands the systems and talks about their unfairness. This is something his distant and traditional family members get annoyed at him for.

He talks passionately about the freedom struggles of samoa and the samoan civil wars. He likes listening to stories of freedom fighters of samoa and great leaders. He is very critical of European colonization and takes no shit from europe apologists.

He is low-key a Satanist and likes to tell people about how God was super sexist to Lilith and how absolutely bullshit her banishment was,, how Satan is the coolest first feminist and made her the queen she is, and how Satan is the coolest dude for being the first rebel and equalist. He talks about how he gave us knowledge, and it created the world we are in rn or else we would still be all dumb and naked in the garden. His family is Christian and religious, he has read stories from bibles and come to the conclusions himself.

General Opinion over said character: i am horribly sad but I swear to God one cuddle from this cinnamon roll will cure me of everything

IMP NOTE: I am not samoan, but I read about countries where my favorite characters are from sometimes. I have started reading about che and communist Cuba for Lance too ;) All this info is from the internet, and I cannot say for sure its all good and true. If I am wrong with anything, please point it out.

THANKS FOR THIS! Now go drink water <3

#hunk garrett #voltron

[dallonm-archive]

hi chloe you prob. will never ever guess who this is because i am so stealthy ™ and very um good?? at impersonating not me,,,, anyway!! spare some himbeau content,,, or you will face pain 🔫🙂 [jk jk i love you + if i hurt you then who I'll give me my daily dose of beaulix content]

omg hello mysterious alnon!!!! oops sorry i mean anon haha.....i have NO idea who you are,,,,,,,but i guess i’ll just have to infodump about beau like this is a character intro post and not an anon answer :/// /j lets talk about (him)beau!!!

(please bare in mind he is v new and i am pantsing this novel so this is a lot of uh.....i THINK moments and just where i am w the development also this isnt a character intro post but im treating it like one except no coherency i am INFODUMPING!!!!)

so i still don’t have a very clear image of him in my head but i want to share this because i made the connection that this is how i see lorna, his mother, in my head when she was younger - around the time she would’ve been in the cult. she is such a warm character to me!!

so lorna was one of the first people to leave the cult, in 1968 (playing with the idea of a group of women leaving at the same time), but she also made sure that she had contacts still within the cult, which meant that people who left after her could contact her, essentially starting a chain which meant that there’s now a group of people that have left that stay in contact with one another (if they choose to). this was really important to her because she sees it as reclaiming the idea of community against the awful thing that brought them together in the first place. she is a queen! shes one of the first people felix visits after he leaves which we see in chapter 2, but i’m excited to see how her role develops further than that. 

but onto her son! 

beau was born into the cult on june 29, 1965. he’s a summer baby and this is relevant! because lorna got them out of there when he was so young, he has zero recollection of his time there. i think i want part of his arc to explore how he navigates his emotions with that and how they change because at the start, he feels very detached from it and doesn’t really think about it more than Oh So That’s A Thing and admiring his mom’s strength for getting out of that environment. but i think the more he talks to felix (more on that later :)), the more he’ll understand the weight of everything. 

i think there’s a perception of beau that he’s had a relatively sheltered life, because of the life he has right now, which is far from the case. i think when it comes to the cult itself, there is an element of being sheltered, but that came from lorna protecting him and makes complete sense? but on a general level, he is definitely not sheltered.

we meet him in chapter two, when he’s 20 and currently studying psychology at college. at this point the novel is in felix’s pov (chapter one is in dorothy’s), and he plays a big role in felix’s arc (more on that later :)), and all of this backstory creates a very interesting dynamic between them. i didn’t intend for them to mirror each other, but felix sort of sees beau as a looking glass to the life he could have had and that is quite difficult for him to navigate. he feels this innate connection to him through them being born in the same place (lorna even has a photo of the two when they were toddlers) but at the same time beau is a complete stranger to him otherwise. 

again, he is a new character and i’m pantsing this novel, but i think his arc will explore: queer pride, creating happiness, mental health and the importance of strong relationships

beau is THE sunshine oc. (felix is too but like, it’s hidden shh). he is SO lovely. truly a himbo. he’s super charismatic, loves making friends, very impulsive (or spontaneous, depends on how you look at it), often speaks before he thinks but ultimately has good intentions. he’s also super insightful and really good at emotional support conversations, like he tries really hard to understand what you’re saying the best of his ability - he’s super inspired by his moms loving nature and he wants to help others, but his arc isn’t defined by that. he is also so FUNNY, like i love writing this dude. dream man literally. of course, i want there to be more depth than that, and there definitely is, but this is where we are now and i LOVE him so far

but i have a feeling.....that the alnon wants to hear about him and felix. just a guess! 

(i usually dont do pinterest moodboards but i dont have the energy for unsplash’s algorithm rn but anyway, just look at the VIBES)

i really was like felix’s sexuality has nothing to do with his arc even if i don’t think he’s straight and then these two interacted ONCE and were really like no <3 i was doing a sprint with some people from atlas and their chemistry just Happened its like i didnt even know what was happening then i read back and was like

the snippet that ruined my life:

“Or, I mean, we don’t have to go straight there. Have you visited San Francisco before? I can give you the Beau exclusive tour.”

Felix grins and faces him. “The ‘Beau-exclusive tour?”

“Yeah! It’s the Beau tour because I know the best places in the city, not all the boring tourist places. I mean, they’re cool and all, but the secret places are cooler, you know? And it’s exclusive because you’ll be the first one to have taken it.”

“Then how do you know it’ll be a good tour?”

“Because I know I’d be the best tour guide possible.” Beau leans against the doorframe, grin electric. “You down?”

“Just to see if you’re the best tour guide possible.”

i want to make this clear now and ill be talking about this in the update, but church mud still is not a romance story. it never will be. i was very apprehensive about including this into the story because i feel like adding romance into stories that deal with heavy topics like mental health and trauma is a very delicate process and there are very fine lines on both sides of the portrayal (either having a romantic relationship work out or not). i also really don’t know how felix’s sexuality will play a role because his pov was not really set up for it, but i don’t want to just ignore it now that this is a thing? so we’ll see where that goes, again i’m pantsing this novel lol. essentially, this is a big part of felix’s arc, but its not the centre of it.  the way i see it right now, is that this relationship wont be a straight forward “we become official and we are a couple and that is happy ending at the end of the book”, but these feelings will be explored and talked about out loud. i also want that exploration to be healthy regardless of that, because we love complex love narratives! i just want to be clear about this since the relationship does deal with two queer man and the last thing i want to do is promise something that the book won’t really give. ultimately, even if its not a traditional romance love story, the bottom line is these two will love each other deeply.

but beau and felix....,,,lovingly named beaulix! (thank you rhys for the best ship name)

they have ruined my LIFE in the last day. i am so obsessed with them. like this wasn’t planned the chemistry and connection is just so ??? NATURAL??? 

like i said above, beau loves helping people but that won’t be his arc, and i’m very conscious about that here. like i dont want beau just to exist to help felix (especially with sexuality involved). when i say this is new, i literally figured this out yesterday so i’m just letting it go where it wants to go but PLEASE I AM SO OBSESSED 

these two are so cute like please.....the beau-exclusive tour PLEASE

literally their first scene together is felix opening up about how he feels like people only see him as a broken ex cult member that needs to be fixed, and beau is like “then we won’t talk about that. besides, i want to know about felix.” i’m literally losing my MINDDDDD hes so cute

felix also tutors beau’s little half-brother, byron, in piano, so he’s gonna be at his house a lot 👁️👄👁️ 

im very conscious of this post getting super long and also i want to save some of the beaulix talk for when i write the actual update, so let me end this off with these two snippets because i need y’all to appreciate the parallels here:

“Mine’s June 29th. So, I’m like, a real summer baby. No wonder I love the beach and love San Francisco. I was born for it before I was even there.”

Felix is inclined to agree with that. Summers for Felix were never that special; sometimes it was cool evenings, ice cubes, spending the whole day outside; sometimes it was scorching sun and sweat and heat headaches. San Francisco summers sound more exciting; like beach days, heat haze, drunk afternoons. Beau must be summer, Felix thinks.

then we have:

“Seriously though, do you have a favourite?”

Felix has to think about that one. “I think I like spring,” he says. “I don’t hate when it’s cold, but I always liked when you could feel the air slowly warm up.”

Beau nods. “Spring is cute. You should see the city during the spring when all the flowers bloom – you’ll love it.”

haha get it.....beau is summer.......so we’ve established characters as their favourite seasons.......and then beau......beau says...........

in conclusion, we all love beau........and we love beau and felix......i am SO excited to see where his arc and where their relationship goes

#long post #please the way this post is a long ass breakdown #church mud #thank you for enabling this al OSDJFISDFKMSDFJBSDNFKM #PLEASEEE THE BEAU EXCLUSIVE TOUR WILL HAUNT ME FOR LIFE #Anonymous

[si-nging-ren]

*CRACKS KNUCKLES*

okay. ive decided im going to discontinue the jirou x reader fanfic "wrong number, my bad" for a number of reasons that i will get into in a bit. i have also, however, decided to create an smau for hawks (probably not, but who ive decided on for now) x reader, based on something more personal about me. the goal of the story being more personal is to give me a better layout for how it should continue on and the feelings can be more genuine than me making up stories on a whim and hoping they work. i will give out the plan for wnmb, however, so that anybody interested can still understand how the story wouldve ended.

now as for why im abandoning wnmb.

1. i dont feel the energy to write it anymore. i dont like where the story is going, and with my current mental state and status at school, i dont have the ability to start over or try again. i font have the ideas for the story and just dont vibe with it.

2. mental reasons. i can't stick to the schedule i made for the story as well as i used to be able to, and also personal mental health reasons that sort of keep me from doing so.

3. there are personal life reasons that cause this, but jirou has slowly evolved into somewhat of a discomfort character. i dont want to get into the reasons as to why, but i dont like her that much and bad memories come up whenever i try to sit with her in my head for too long.

thats really all for why i dont want to continue wnmb, but for anybody interested, here was the plan as to how the story was planned out (via notes):

- [x] yn and mina and ochaco do be talking doe

- [x] basically introductions

- [x] same with jirou baku toko yaomomo and denks

- [x] but THEN

- [x] yn and jirou talk :DDD

- [x] jirou basically says that theyre not annoying

- [x] yn says their typical clown shit

- [x] "aidjskjdh thanks you daddy 🥺"

- [x] jirou doesnt answer for a wholeass hour

- [x] "sorry had to go to church and clense from that sin"

- [x] "o-oh okay 😔 daddy doesnt love me"

- [x] "there are so many things wrong with that"

- [x] "😳😳😳"

- [x] "im starting to wish that i blocked you"

- [x] "nONONONONO IM SORRY"

- [x] "nyways what did you wanna talk about d-"

- [x] "......."

- [x] "arling :)))"

- [x] poor jirou just wanted to know about who they are

- [x] "name, hobby, talent, interests, whatever i just wanna know about you"

- [x] yn hops over to twitter all "omg theyre so sweet 🥺🥺🥺"

- [x] naturally ochaco and mina are all "fake bestie wtf are u talking about"

- [x] yn is laughing awkwardly and is just,,, "oh nothing 😳😳"

- [x] (nobody believes them)

- [x] then they ask about jirou but she has to give false info

- [x] except for her gender its fine if she says that

- [x] she hops over to the squad

- [x] panicking

- [x] "guys wtf i think i just committed a crime"

- [x] "nono youre fine what happened"

- [x] "i made a fake identity so the person who contacted me wouldnt know it was me"

- [x] "do they even know you???"

- [x] "YES they said they really liked our music and im PANICKING"

- [x] "okok calm down its not illegal or anything"

- [x] "i think"

- [x] "YOU T H I N K ? "

- [x] "yeah sorry :// but like you did this to yourself lmaooo"

- [x] jirou awkwardly hops back to yn

- [x] "yeah i think that band is pretty cool too im actually friends with some of them"

- [x] i mean its not false

- [x] ":ooo omg rlly?????? theyre so cool aaa 🥺🥺 maybe we can meet one day at one of their concerts 👉👈 jkjk...... unless 😳"

- [x] little did they know

- [x] LMAOO jk

- [x] kinda

- [ ] they end up talking for hoursss and mina and ochaco ask one day if they wanna hang out

- [ ] theyre all "hell yesss 🥴 where we goin??"

- [ ] a bar. they go to a fucking bar. (btw its to celebrate minas new job thingyyy)

- [ ] drink responsible kiddosss

- [ ] nyways afterwards she ends up talking to jirou bout how shes super nice and would love to be friends with her more

- [ ] jirou has gay panic tm

- [ ] like actually theyre rlly cute fuck

- [ ] yn asks if they can call since theyve never heard her voice or seen her

- [ ] jirous all ".....theyre drunk they wont recognize my voice"

- [ ] also shes rlly groggy since its TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING

- [ ] jirou calls her and yn asks if she wants to meet someday bby doesnt understand okay

- [ ] jirou panics and asks if they can get to know each other more first

- [ ] yn is hurt but understands and agrees

- [ ] yn asks to play 20 questions

- [ ] jirou asks if theyre a preteen jokingly

- [ ] yn whines and says its either that or a drinking game

- [ ] not wanting yn to drink anymore, she sighs and agrees

- [ ] she ends up finding out:

1. yn has a cat

2.

3. thats it, yn passed out

- [ ] jirou fell asleep on call later nd they didnt hang up until jirou woke up later and realized that awake yn would recognize her

- [ ] she quickly hung up and then sent them a good morning text

- [ ] bitches be playin

- [ ] but yn doesnt mind theyre a gay, dumb clown

- [ ] yn asks what minas job was since they never found out- god their dumb

- [ ] mina says its the typical teaching thing but its for ome of yns favorite bands

- [ ] "ooh, who are they?"

- [ ] "they said their name was blackbear! pretty sure youve talked about them some times before"

- [ ] "omygod mina you dont understnad if you could somehow find a way for me to find them i would literally marry u"

- [ ] "please dont. but ill try boo dw"

- [ ] she ends up doing it

- [ ] but inbetween then they end up getting rlly close like numerous calls and texts and learning more about each other until they realize they like her

- [ ] yn is super happy all "bro u guys are so awesome"

- [ ] bby girl is vibrating.

- [ ] LMAOO YOU WANNA KNOW JOWNTHEY FIND OUT

- [ ] THEY AND JIROU END UP BECOMING RLLY CLOSE LIKE THEY FRIENDSSSS

- [ ] AND SHE ASKS FOR THEIR NUMBER

- [ ] THEIR STILL JITTERY BTW SO THEYRE LIKE WOAH RLLY???? ID LOVE TO BRO

- [ ] AND JIROU PUTS HER NUMBER IN YNS PHONE AND SEES THE NAME "nd strikes" COME UP ND SHES LIKE "HUH MUST BE A GLITCH"

- [ ] BUT YNS ALL

- [ ] "HAHA SOMEONE NAMED "BBY" CAME UP WHEN I TYPED IN MY NUMBER I WONDER WHO THAT IS"

- [ ] "MAYBE I TYPED IT WRONG" CAUSE BBY IS DUMB

- [ ] MEANWHILE JIROU IS PANICKED CAUSE "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE BBY"

- [ ] SO SHE HANDS THEM THIER PHONE BACK AWKWARDLY AND YN SEES THEIR OLD MESSAGES AND PANICKS

- [ ] "HOLD UP IS STARS JIROU????? HAHHA NO IM BLIND AN D DUMB SURELY NOT"

- [ ] SO THEYRE LIKE "DID U EVER TELL ANYONE UR NAME IS STARS"

- [ ] AND JIROU JUST SIGHS AND IS CLEARLY IN PAIN AND IS JUST "YEAH THATS ME"

- [ ] ALL YN DOES IS LAUGH AND GO "YO THATS KINDA GAY"

- [ ] JIROU IS PAINED

- [ ] LIKE SHE THINKS THEIR GONNA HATE HER BUT????? NO??????????? SHES CONFUSED LMAOO

- [ ] yn blinks and realizes she should probably confess or smth

- [ ] "uhm, jirou?"

- [ ] "yeah whats up?"

- [ ] "aCTUALLY NVM ILL TELL YOU LATER-"

- [ ] later in a call they say it

- [ ] jirou is rlly smart and all but her first thought was "its cause of who i am. this happened immediately after."

- [ ] some part of her is screaming that its feelings and that she likes them back but she ignores it.

- [ ] like this has to be bad right???

- [ ] nyways jirou ghosts her like a clown and rants to the band b-wordssss gc

- [ ] yn cries to the babiest of the babies 🥺🥺🥺 gc

- [ ] yn asks if she just doesnt care about them now that shes seen them

- [ ] jirou realizes "wait fuck maybe im wrong"

- [ ] spoiler alert: she is

- [ ] she sort of goes "i didnt rlly think that you actually liked me actually

- [ ] yn starts crying

- [ ] (this is over call btw)

- [ ] "why tf wouldnt i?!"

- [ ] "bc you confessed right after you knew who i was"

- [ ] "istfg so our conversations just dont matter ig"

- [ ] jirou is confused

- [ ] like??? she gets that theyre mad but she does understand why so much

- [ ] "listen i just need to know if you like me back or not please. before i start crying again."

- [ ] she decided to not comment on how they were already crying

- [ ] "yes i like you okay"

- [ ] "do you actually?"

- [ ] "yes. istag that i actually like you and im not shitting u. if you want ill go there rn"

- [ ] ".....yes pls"

- [ ] "i need your address though"

- [ ] "oh yeah– its *address*"

- [ ] jirou arrives all nervous and shit

i didn't have anything planned out after that, but it was probably gonna be a kiss scene or something idk

#jirou x reader #wnmb #wrong number my bad #jirou kyouka #kyouka x reader #writers

[iishmael]

+

#god i fucking hate myself #isnt that fucking antidepressivum supposed to DO SOMETHING #bc all it does is making me sleepy during the days #and im still a sad digusting pathetic piece of shit yay #i promised my mum i would call today but i dont have the energy to pretend im fine rn #i just wish i never existed #im sorry for clogging your dash with my self pity #im just #if i dont write this down somewhere Ill start crying and i dont want to spend the next four hours in a panic attack #and i literally have 0 real life friends in munich so #delete later

[piper-y]

i thought i had everything figured out and then she comes and pulls the rug out from under me again and shes like “oh its hurts so bad” “i deserve better” “i dont fuck with people who hurt me” 

like im sorry i was fucking confused and trying not to lose anyone. i made a fucking mistake and you took it so far. i would have done anything for you and now youre fucking blocking me and saying how i did you dirty. babe i was fucking trying to figure out what to do and how to live and now ive lost everything. you say ill be fine but then you have to go and break my heart over and over again 

you dont fucking care about me, dont act like you do. if you cared you wouldnt be hurting me this badly time and time again. 

and you know what? you fucking broke me and i still fucking love you. and i hate myself for it bc i deserve so much better than this. what the fuck is wrong with me? am i so broken and traumatized that no matter what someone does to me ill still love them? or am i just keeping a simple promise? who knows 

please dont promise your new girl forever no matter what if you dont mean no matter what. she doesnt deserve to go through what im going through rn 

why do i even bother with you honestly. you arent worth my energy. or my time. or my love. i thought you were but obviously i was wrong. i thought you were different. i thought you meant it when you said forever. i thought you meant it when you said no matter what. i thought you meant it when you said we’d get through everything together. and dont say yeah well i didnt know it would end up like this bc when you say no matter what i take that as no matter what. im sorry you cant accept that i made a mistake and that i was confused and hurt and trying to figure out what to do and that i needed you to wait for me. im sorry im such a horrible person now bc i was confused. 

i hope you see this honestly so you can see how much you’re hurting me again. 

you said you never wanted to hurt me and that it breaks you to hurt me but then you do it again and again. how am i supposed to believe you when you say you care if you continuously hurt me and if you said no matter what but didnt really mean it?  

glad youre happy ig 

hope youre happy with your decision bc im sure as hell not 

im probably gonna regret posting this later but i need to get it out of my system 

bye 

#mine

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your  🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having  🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

[bagelhero]

i LOVE your trans mirage so much. i was wondering do you hc any of the other legends as trans? and would u ever draw them?

THANK YOUUU AAAAND ALSO YES i’ll quickly list off my hcs!! Images Attached where I have some already and ive included some other thoughts on them !!

Obviously, first off: bloodhound is canonically trans! for once, I don’t need a hc for this at all?? its just real and that feels super wild!! I love them! oh and personally, fwiw, I do not feel comfortable at all speculating on what gender they were assigned at birth so in the future when i draw more of them and maybe draw an unmasked design this might be something to keep in mind.

As noted, mirage/elliott is one of my faves, i have a few different hcs which I went over on my main acc! I’ll draw him more for sure lol

Gibraltar! I pretty much think that he’s the type of trans guy who knew pretty much as soon as he had object permanence, and that he began his transition pretty early. I don’t think he’s exactly stealth but it’s like personal information & he finds it doesn’t come up a whole lot. People see the trans flag badge on his jacket in a photoshoot and all the comments r like “wow gibraltar’s such a cool ally” and hes reading it later like “Yeah i sure hope so,”

Ajay Che/Lifeline - Binary transwoman. This ones kinda shallow I just think its cute and valid (+ her mostly pink/blue/white colorscheme 👀). I think she and Octane would have transitioned around the same time together T__T “old friends” indeed. but this is the only art i have of her at all rn LMAO

On that note, Octane/Octavio! sorta-binary-leaning transmasc guy. Chaotic trans energies, hypes up everyone if they’re ever feeling bad about Gender. hes Very Out, but respects other trans folks preferences. Dunks on transphobes Online. I can’t draw him at all but ill keep trying haha

now I’ve said it before, but pretty much any and all trans hcs are valid and there can be any reason or no reason at all, and any backstory/more hcs for it or no backstory at all.

I personally draw characters with scars or other flags if I want to signal that they’re trans to other trans folk (like w/ mirage), but may sometimes leave them not apparent. Sometimes this is because I have a hc for a type of surgery thats noninvasive, or I dont feel comfortable showing it/discussing with cis folk (sorry :/). It’s safe enough to assume that any of the above are trans when I draw them, regardless of how much they pass as cis. Sorry for the unfun disclaimer gjkdfghkjdfhgd

Also! I’ll draw every cast member of Apex at some point!! I actually have a con coming up so I’ll be trying to draw as many of them as possible for merch stuff,,.. While I’m doing that, side doodles will be unavoidable so I’ll answer the second part of this ask with “yes”

#diirthound #thank you for asking! #I hope this is okay to post publically if its not message me and I'll take it down right away aa #headcanons #apex legends #apex #bloodhound #gibraltar #ajay che #/ trans #thats a tag for other trans folk who dont wanna see this kind of talk #but if you're a transphobe thinking of blocking that tag please just block me instead :^)

[outragedslime]

1, 6, 16, 22, and 26!! For the ask meme

tysm!!! ill put em under a cut so it doesnt take up half the dashboard dgfjkdfgj i write a LOT SORRY GKFLHG

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

ough… ok i love. flowers. i love all flowers. but my absolute favs are speedwells? and i guess id also cough up flowers for the person im coughing them up For so id throw in some bloodroot and dogwood..   does this disease work if the love Is requited. EITHER WAY GDHKFLH

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.omg ok the whole experience of all of these movies imma list is like. tremendous. these movies (and show) got a great impact that one or two quotes for the life o them cannot cover the scale of emotion it gave me so… just gdfkh the source is more important than any of the actual quotes i write here tbh. theyre amazing they All made me cry.

1. Sing Street - “Look at her. She races home every evening just to catch that last little bit of sun, have a cigarette and read her papers. She’s always talking about going on a holiday to Spain, but he never takes her. That’s all she gets. Then that tall tree blocks it, and she comes in. I often wonder what she’s thinking about.”

2. Garden State - “We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but, for for the first time let’s just allow ourselves to be whatever it is that we are.” 

3. Good Will Hunting - “No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don’t owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I’m gonna wake up and I’ll be 50, and I’ll still be doin’ this shit. And that’s all right. That’s fine. I mean, you’re sittin’ on a winnin’ lottery ticket. And you’re too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that’s bullshit. ‘Cause I’d do fuckin’ anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin’ guys. It’d be an insult to us if you’re still here in 20 years. Hangin’ around here is a fuckin’ waste of your time.”

4.  The End of the Fucking World - “It’s strange. A lot of the time you don’t register the important moments as they happen. You only see that they were important when you look back.”

5. A Monster Calls - “It’s okay that you’re angry. I’m angry too, and if you need to break things, by god you break them. I wish I had 100 years, 100 years I could give to you.”

ok those are all masterpieces if ur ever stuck on smth to watch i recommend these SDFGHFGJ

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfitaa honESTLY. big chunky ass boots. big chunky ass jacket. big chunky ass bag or belt with weapons and cute little satchels of herbs and whatnot. and a big fuckin floofy dress that is SUPER fancy almost like a wedding dress but it can be like a different colour than plain white. hell yeah !!

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.i guess a curse references something i Dont want to happen? bc a lot of the things that ppl might view as curses id actually love (dont mind me im still dying @ that “may your womb be barren” thing). but in terms of smth i dont want i guess an easy one would be that id never experience true content. true satisfaction. true peace.

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)i didnt have a Lot happen to me? i guess every time i have a recurring dream, or like. dreaming about something and then experiencing it irl? i think i rly believe in dream symbolism idk how it works at All but i rly do think its got like.. some reflection onto your own personal state. the only thing i can think of rn is when once i had a dream that i wasnt myself, and i kept changing parts of myself, like cutting my hair or later turning into some weird mermaid creature (sfhfgj) but like. in that dream there was a lot of children. children in school around me. children on a beach. a baby drowning. a child curled up in a fridge. and these two children, one of whom came up to me with a fuckin Horse of all things and went “do u want penis?” and im like “what” and shes like “my horse :) this is my horse, penis” and im like Odd name but ok and i didnt reply to the kid. anyway that morning i woke up and looked into dream symbolism and children and babies stand for a part of yourself youre neglecting, and horses stand for hm. “  male sexual energy and masculinity”. anyway thats how i found out i was trans GDFHJGH

SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH IM RLY EXCITED AND I LOVE TALKING!! THANKS !

#I THINK I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THESE THIGNS BUT I HAVE FUN SO GDFH #THANK U!!!! <333 #kolo emerges #long post #strawberrydoctor #ask

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

#music #2010s

[ravingraeven]

I just

feel so goddamn annoying. I’ve tried talking and venting to actual close friends and like- they don’t really.... listen, or get it, or say anything. So i just post or speak a mountains worth of words for them to give me a two word reply or change the subject at best. Its like when ur saying something and they give you a damn thats crazy, or a damn that sucks, or im sorry, or ok. Like thats a reply but its not..... substantial. Its one ended. Its like i’d be better off talking to the fucking wall because I can imagine the wall is sorry for me too. A wall would listen to me cry and scream. At least i KNOW im not annoying a wall. 

Ontop of all of that I’m so tired of having to be as blunt and literal as possible. I try to give people energy and attention and respect their boundaries and understand when they need something- but I’ll flat out say “I need help with this” or “i wanna talk about this, but no one is willing to listen or care or give me actual opinions and critique, and it leaves me feeling annoying” and people will go damn that sucks, anyways theres this thing I want to talk about! and thats that on that.  I’ll be sitting here feeling A Way and not feeling whatever it is they wanna do or talk about and I’ll at least... try to listen, and be there, and give input and prompts, generally give them the energy and attention i’d want in return and when they get it out I try to transition the conversation or at least have a side convo going on about other shit i can actually give time energy and proper input for and people will just............ flat out ignore all of that............................. and go “okay but this” or stop replying and then go “okay but do you wanna x” when I generally tried to tell them no 30 mins ago!!! 

It hurts so bad when someones rambling about a game or topic i dont care about but I’ll like, ask questions or prompt them or give input beyond “damn thats crazy” or “man that sucks” or “yeah” and while talking about that I’ll drop a “as a side thing what do you think about x” or “can we talk about y later” and they just........ continue....... talking....... and ignore everything i say unless its something they want to answer. EVEN WORSE is when they’ll stop adding onto their topic and then ill ask a question or post something and they stop talking all together, then come back in 30 mins or an hour with something vaguely similar/something they care about again, ignoring me entirely. 

And then sometimes its definitely not on purpose. But i’ll point it out, and theres a “oh shit okay im sorry” and then,,,, nothing........... like. How many conversations have i gotten in where I just.,,,,,, try to talk about a hyperfixation- like dnd, and the conversational partner will go “oh yeah theres this one character i play that...” and I’ll go “oh man yeah? what are they like about like in this? how do they handle that??” “OH WELL THE WORLD IS LIKE THIS, SO THIS THIS AND THAT” and they just. keep steering back to them, their world, their pcs, them them them. No responses. I’m not fucking interviewing you!!!! fucking ask about me and my stuff too!!!!  

I know this is whiney and selfish but i literally can only stand giving so much without getting anything in return. I’m so tired of bearing all of the emotional labor in so many shitty dead end friendships!!!!  And ofc this doesnt apply to everyone- but the people i’m actually.... comfortable with? and kinda expect would care and know this stuff and would actually talk to them about this, just....... are being really selfish and uncaring rn. I shouldnt be surprised but here I am! Yet i’m unable to do what i need to- let it die and move onto the friendships that actually try, and try to get comfortable enough with those people. But I clown around every goddamn time!!!!

I’m so fucking restless and tired and overwhelmed and stressed out. I cannot stand everyone breathing down my neck about the fact that im not making money- but when i was making money I was making too much because i was making more than the person I live with, and that still wasn’t good *enough* because i wasn’t cleaning and doing other stuff ontop of my 40hr work weeks that left me in tears nightly. 

I was excited to be able to have creative pursuits and now i just... can’t do them. I can’t bring myself to finish pieces. I can’t get my brain to stay on track long enough to finish a backstory. I can’t bring myself to care about things i like. at least partially because the only time i get to enjoy them is.... with myself, in my own head. 

#this is long and repeatative

[theclash]

Evens

ok here we go!!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?pretty outgoing but I tend to keep to myself by choice in like school and stuff because I usually just dont have the energy

4. Are you easy to get along with?other than like with close friends… probably not. Like I think I’m easy to get along with when it comes to ppl who dont know me but if ur at the point where you know me vaguely but arent a good friend of mine I think I’m kind of abrasive idk

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?I’ve never rly had a type when it comes to girls idk!!! all the girls I’ve been attracted to have all been rly different from eachother

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?lil wayne

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?gf!

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?oh god ummmWorld In My Eyes - Depeche Mode, Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order, Space Age Love Song - Flock Of Seagulls, Don’t Go - Yaz, ALWAYS Wild West Hero - ELO

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?hmmm… sort of?? not in a super Deep way

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?1000000 times

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?no

20. Do you like your neighbors?some of them

22. Where would you like to travel?Italy, Norway, Japan mainly, plus other places of course I just wanna see where my ancestors lived (first 2) and actually use my 5 years of Japanese class for something

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?chilling in bed for hours because thats my life. also coffee

26. What do you do when you wake up?check notifications, text gf (unless its a day I work at like 7am cuz shes usually sleep still)

28. Who are you most comfortable around?Will and Em

30. Do you ever want to get married?some day

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?what the!!!!!!!

34. Do you play sports? What sports?no pensive emoji

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?many times

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?bro do people rlly walk around with a dream image for the person they wish they could be with regardless of whether they rly exist or not

40. What do you want to do after high school?lolllll

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?probably depressed or having a borderline panic attack or something

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?oh god neither

46. What are you paranoid about?losing people, illness, injury, ppl I care about being put in danger whether its due to emotional states or the situation theyre in

48. Have you ever been drunk?no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?grey

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?less paranoid

54. Favourite store?hi voltage

56. Favourite colour?blue, red, yellow

58. Last thing you ate?english muffin

60. Ever won a competition? For what?won a bid in engineering for a proposal to Boeing about ways to solve the water crisis

62. Been arrested? For what?tax evasion

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?LOOOOOL so Em and I were hanging out before her birthday thing later in the day and we went to the beach, we were just walking around n stuff then sat on a log and she asked if she could kiss me and I was like “yea sure” then she did but I didnt know what to do so it was like 2 seconds long and she was like “that wasnt a real kiss” hgfjkdhg very awkward sorry babe

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?no sry queens and legends

68. Twitter or Tumblr?tungle

70. Names of your bestfriends? Will, Sonny, Em (counting u as a best friend even if you are also my Gf)

72. What colour are your towels?dark grey

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk how many are put away but I have one (1) Stuffed Broccoli named Broccobama

76. What colour is your underwear?black

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?tillamook chocolate mudslide

80. What colour pants?none LOL

82. Favourite movie?the wall or yellow submarine

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?mean girls

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?gil or whatever the edgy fish with the scar. Duh

88. Last person you talked to today?texting Em rn but in person, my mom

90. Name a person you love?Em

92. In a fight with someone?the fucking weirdo anon about Joe Strummer I guess but like real talk no

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?like 5? idk

96. Favourite actress?Carrie Fisher :( Marilyn Monroe too

98. Do you tan a lot?no lol

100. How are you feeling?ok I guess

102. Do you regret anything from your past?yes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?miss people I was once close to but I dont miss anyone who is completely cut from my life

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?probably not

108. What should you be doing?sleeping maybe??? idk

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?Em

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yes

116. Are you listening to music right now?surprisingly no

118. Do you like Chinese food?i dont dislike it but its not a favorite of mine

120. Are you afraid of the dark?honestly sometimes i get on edge 

122. Is cheating ever okay?no.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?not really

126. Are you currently bored?sorta

128. Would you change your name?I wanna change it legally yeah

130. Do you like subway?yea

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?it already asked this LOL Em

134. Can you count to one million?I sure hope so?

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closed and only closed

138. Curly or Straight hair?curly

140. Summer or Winter?summer

142. Favourite month?August

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Dark

146. Was today a good day?6 out of 10

148. What’s your favourite quote?“It’s Gucci time” - Dee Dee Ramone/Dee Dee King

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 42 is just a picture of MCA and 43 says “Adam served as a great example for myself and for so much of what determination, faith, focus, and humility coupled with a sense of humor can accomplish”

#long post #its Beastie Boys (the last question)