#sometimes I wonder if our relationship is really healthy/good for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

butterflysonnets · 5 months

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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

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eunseoksimp · 2 months

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Hi! Can you write jealous reader x Sungchan (could be same y/n from poison)

You writing is so good !!x

hey anon, thank you so much for your kind words. i wrote a completely different reader because all my poison creative juices have been exhausted, i hope you don’t mind.

i also low-key got carried away with the insanity, this might be a step further than simple jealousy whoops.

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

it wasn’t a hidden fact that the bounds of your jealousy did not mirror those of a normal person.

you found that you tended to like people a lot more passionately than others, but you assumed it was overall a healthy amount of course, the type that any person might feel when they liked someone.

that was until you met jung sungchan.

you weren’t sure what it was about him that induced a scary amount of rage every time you saw him draw near to another girl.

you had no right to dictate who he could and couldn’t speak to, because the truth was that the relationship between you and sungchan was complicated.

you couldn’t exactly call each other lovers, but the things that you both did was nothing becoming of friends. so you were stuck in a weird sort of limbo, forced to ramble to your best friends and hope it would alleviate the burning flame that resided in your chest.

‘i don’t get it. it’s not like the both of you are dating, so why do you care that he’s around other girls?’ wonbin spoke up, tossing another skittle into his mouth successfully.

‘she likes him stupid, why else would she feel this way?’ chaewon, who was resting her head on her shoulder had her eyes closed, almost as if she was sleeping, but you knew she was listening.

‘my point is, if you like him why don’t you tell him that?’

you loved wonbin, you really did, but sometimes you wondered how someone so pretty could be so empty headed. he often was unable to pick up on context clues and you thanked god that chaewon was always with you, otherwise you might go crazy.

‘i don’t want to ruin our friendship. what if i lose him forever.’

‘i’m pretty sure your so called friendship was ruined the moment you both decided to fuck like rabbits,’ you lifted your head to give wonbin the middle finger, but quickly dropped it as you sighed.

a drunken night at a party is what led to the situation you were in. at the time you were sure that it was nothing more than sex, and given that the both of you were best friends and trusted each other more than anything, you decided on keeping a friends with benefits dynamic.

it was great at first, being able to sleep with someone without having to worry about feelings, or inviting strangers into your home and your body. sungchan was such a gentleman, looking after you in and out of the bedroom.

when you fucked, it was magical. he was always more concerned with your pleasure than he was his, drawing orgasm after orgasm out of your first before he would finally retire for the night, satisfied that you enjoyed yourself.

eventually, you found yourself craving intimacy outside of the bedroom, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to stay over after to cuddle, or to make the both of you a quick meal.

before you knew it, you started to become dependent on sungchan, needing him nearby at all times, wanting to be the only one he touched, or the only one he looked at. there was a desperate desire for him to be with you forever, and you thrived off of the feelings you got whenever he touched you.

‘i hate that he talks to other girls. it makes me want to hurt them,’ you confessed, truthfully, because you felt like you could trust your friends.

for the first time since you had started your conversation, chaewon’s eyes opened, scrambling to hold your head in her hands as she stared directly at yours.

‘you’re joking. right?’ a part of him knew the answer to that question, chuckling nervously as he observed you.

‘she’s not. that’s the scary part.’

lately it felt like your feelings for sungchan were bordering on obsession. you relied on him heavily for emotional support, seeking attention and validation from him in everything you did.

he had the ability to make or break your day, and you realised that as dangerous as it was, you placed the responsibility of your happiness onto him. depending on when he paid attention to you he could make you feel like you were on top of the world, or in the deepest pits of hell.

‘why is it so serious in here,’ sungchan walked into a tension-filled room, duffle bag slung over his shoulder, hood covering his messy hair.

chaewon moved away to make room for him and wonbin cleared his throat, but you paid no attention to them both, a wide smile forming on your face as you looked at the man you were in love with, even without trying he was beautiful, the ability to take your breath away something that came so easy to him.

‘hey,’ he was standing in front of you, crouching down till you were eye level, his smile mirroring yours as he messed with your hair. there was no way he couldn’t feel the intense connection between the both of you, how perfect you both were for each other.

‘where were you?’

‘karina needed some help so i stayed behind. she got me some coffee to thank me,’ he was nonchalant in what he was saying, but you furrowed your eyebrows at the pink that faintly painted his cheeks.

‘you’ve been spending a lot of time with karina lately,’ you dug your fingernails into your palm, hating the mention of her name.

karina, or yu jimin as written on her birth certificate, was the evil bitch trying to keep you away from sungchan. ever since they started sharing some classes together she had been hanging around him more and more, like a fly hovering over him so persistently.

you recall moments where sungchan would cancel your movie nights, or invite her out when your group would go to the cinema together, or even eat. it drove you mad, watching her flip her hair over her shoulder, flashing him a smile as she playfully pushed his shoulder.

each time your stomach would turn and it would make you want to throw up on the spot. why was she trying to steal your favourite person?

‘i actually wanted to tell you guys something. i-um, we’re going on a date this saturday,’ his eyes darted towards yours and you chew on your bottom lip, afraid to allow your thoughts to spill out.

you were sure he felt the same way you did. he had to with the way he looked at you. he wouldn’t be able to fuck you so good if he didn’t.

so why did he need another girl? what did karina have that you didn’t? how desperately did she push up on sungchan to get him to fall for her.

‘i have to go,’ you stood up abruptly, grabbing your things from beside you and making a beeline for the door, suddenly feeling the room close in on you. you could hear sungchan’s hurried footsteps coming after you, but it only made you want to go faster.

‘please slow down, i need to know if you’re okay,’ he finally succeeded in grabbing a hold of you, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath for a couple of seconds.

‘do you love her,’ your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper as you looked at him expectantly, awaiting his answer.

‘love? what no, i barely know her.’

‘then why are you taking her out?’ a tear spilled down your cheek, but you refused to make an attempt to wipe it.

‘i just- i like her i think,’ you could tell he was trying his hardest not to hurt your feelings, but it only made your heart ache more. how could someone so sweet, someone so caring, want to be with karina and not with you?

how could you carry on knowing the one you love unconditionally, the one that you go to for everything, the one who helped you breathe, was thinking about another girl.

it was hard to hear, to see that his whole world did not revolve around you, like yours did around his. that not hearing from him made you anxious and paranoid that he would one day abandon you.

‘i still want us to be friends, you mean so much to me,’ he was sincere in his words, but your ears were ringing as you thought about the date he would be on with that girl tomorrow.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth, and the rational part of your mind would tell you to see this as a sign to move on, to look for someone else who would love you the way you wanted.

but the loss of sungchan was just too much to bear, so much so that you would do anything to keep him.

this was why you spent the rest of your night stalking through her instagram pages, seeing her likes and dislikes, her personal style.

it was why you were haphazardly dying your hair blonde, having only the tiny mirror in your bathroom to guide you.

it was also why you desperately searched in your cupboard for clothes with the same cuts, or prints as her.

you were changing your self-identity slowly, lost in the hope that this would make sungchan return back to you.

maybe then he would like you.

and when you showed up to sungchan’s house, merely a few hours before he was meant to go on his date, you took the shock on his face to mean a good thing.

‘you look… different,’ his voice trailed off, carefully studying your features.

he was always so perceptive, you were sure he had figured things out by now. but that didn’t matter, as long as you could keep his attention on you for a little while longer.

a faint line between faith and blindly waiting.

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gojos-thot-patrol · 1 year

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For the jjk boys, can you please do kissing hcs? How do they like to smooch 😘

I just lover imagining how our boys love and how they express that love, however healthy (or toxic) it may be

Now Presenting....

Starring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna

Satoru Gojo

Gojo kissed excited and passionately

Gojo kisses like he’s never kissed before no matter how many times you’ve kissed

Gojo kissed you like he can’t get enough of you, pulling you impossibly close

There's a 40% chance that he just starts giggling cause he’s so happy and can’t contain himself

He kissed you whenever he can, sometimes looking for you for no other reason than to kiss you

And he can never leave it at just one kiss. It’s always at least 2

All of that being said though his favorite place to kiss you is your forehead.

It’s so sweet and gentle, and very intimate. Its pure

He’ll kiss your forehead to comfort himself man

He pours his sweet, excited, purest form of love into every kiss.

You can feel his adoration for you in the way his soft lips move against yours.

He pours affection into every kiss he’d ever give you

Fluffy man, when I think of Gojo’s kisses I just think fluffy

It’s the truest form of love in his kiss, because he’s very choosy about the people he kisses

If Gojo lets infinity down long enough to kiss you, you know you’re dear to him.

Suguru Geto

Sugurus kisses are loud in a quiet way. Let me explain

He’s more the words of affirmation type, less the touch-y feel-y type

So when he kisses you, it’s normally slow and measured

He really likes to take his time with it, and really savor it

He’s not gentle by any means, nay nay

He holds you close and tight, like holding onto you is the only thing keeping him grounded to this earth

And he’s a little desperate, a little needy.

Like he desperately needs you to feel this love in the same way he does, to justify the flurry of emotions every time he’s near you.

But he doesn’t want to say all of that outloud, that would feel too raw.

So. he says all of that in the way he kisses you. Begging you to say ‘I love you too’ in a way he’d understand

And he tries to get all of that across in a singular, tender kiss.

It’s tender and loving but is screaming so many things he can’t force himself to say.

His kisses may not happen as often as you’d like but when they do they mean something

He finds kissing vulnerable, so feel special you get to kiss him

….Is it just me or did this turn out weirdly angst???

Kento Nanami

Nanami is probably the most casual kisser of the bunch ngl

He probably kisses you the second most out of all of them though (No one’s beating Gojo.)

He kisses you whenever he gets a chance.

Going to work, getting home from work, before bed, waking up in the morning

Almost every new part of your day is started with a quick kiss

Nanami's kisses are warm and familiar.

Kinda like wrapping up in your childhood blanket

He almost always tastes like black tea

He doesn’t see kissing as some sort of grand statement or thesis for a relationship. He just sees it as another way to express fondness

This does not mean he is above getting lost in a good make out session though, nay nay. He believes a good make out session can make a shitty day wonderful

Loves to kiss your forehead and cheeks.

Just any way he can to express these small forms of affection.

It’s a casual and quiet kiss yes

But it’s also intensely tender and caring and full of adoration

A friendly reminder of just how much you mean to him

Ryomen Sukuna

If I were you I would simply not kiss Ryomen Sukuna.

Choose self love instead bestie, this man is not it

Ryomens kisses are all teeth and tongues

It’s rough and dominating, He’s kissing to own you, not love you

His kisses are made up of lust and obsession.

He never kisses without a motive. That motive is almost always either to fuck you or own you

He’ll kiss you whenever there are any potential “Threats” (as he likes to call them) around, just to make sure they know you’re his

To his credit, his kisses are extremely passionate. They’re heated and in a fucked up kinda way intoxicating.

It’s hard not to get caught up in his fire when he’s kissing you like it’s the last thing the two of you will ever do

He’ll kiss any part of you he can in order to mark you. Gotta mark what's his

Sukuna’s kiss is wicked and possessive, just like how he loves, just like how he is

I do think he can and has kisses you tenderly, mostly in moments of true vulnerability

But those moments are very few and far between!

And he gets upset both with himself and you for those moments ever happening

Anyways, choose love not Sukuna my friends.

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hannahssimblr · 3 months

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“Evan, can I sit?”

He glances up at me and shrugs, patting the ground next to him so I slump down heavily on it and take a healthy gulp from my bottle.

“You good, man?”

“Yeah, amazing.”

“I, uh, I see you were chatting to Leah, there? You know each other?”

“Nah.”

“Really? Well... she’s a weirdo anyway, you’re better off getting away from her, like, I just sell her weed and stuff, I don’t really like when she hangs around too long.”

“Yeah, fair enough.”

“Was she being weird with you?”

“Nope.”

We’re silent as we watch the flames. I begin to wonder what time it is, and whether I've stayed long enough now for it to be acceptable to go home. As I watch all of the other friends around the fire have fun together I’m struck by how much of an outsider I really am. Sure, Rob and Katie are nice, but will any of that niceness extend into normal life with the eyes of everyone else at school upon us? Surely they will go back to the steps at the back of the school while I go back to the rugby changing rooms, or the library, as it may be and things will resume as they are, as they've always been and always will be. Realistically, would they ever be seen with me? Would I ever be seen with them? There's this weird, empty feeling in me, a feeling that just compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, and it's like I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. I'm just floating in the in-between, and who even am I? What does it mean to even-

“Hey,” Evan interrupts my spiralling inner dialogue, “I meant to say to you that it’s cool that you came along, you know, even when Jen and Michelle didn’t.”

This takes me by surprise, “You think?”

“Yeah, I mean, I suppose I kind of thought you were just hanging out with us sometimes because of them, and that you didn’t really want to be there, but,” a shrug, “I suppose that isn’t true.”

“No, I like hanging out with you.”

“And it’s not just because you’ve been ostracised by your other friends?”

I hesitate for a beat, “No.”

Evan laughs, “Wow, I’m so convinced!”

“No, come on,” I rock to the side and nudge his shoulder with mine, “Like, yeah, sometimes it’s nice to have Jen here, but I’m fine, I can handle myself around the emos… and as for Michelle, well, she hates me, so it’s actually kinda comfier when she’s not here, and- oh,” I realise immediately what I’ve said, “um, well I don’t really mean that, it-”

“No, it’s okay,” Evan says, “I know that you two aren’t exactly best friends or anything.”

“Ah, so she’s talked to you about me.”

“Nah, you’ve honestly never come up in conversation.”

“Somehow that’s worse.”

He snickers.

“How are, um,” I pick at the beer label with my thumb, “How are things going with you guys? Like, the last time we talked you were feeling kinda…”

A sigh, “Oh, yeah, it’s the same. Like, she’s so nice but sometimes I don’t feel like I get enough from her.”

“Uh huh.”

“I kind of get a bit annoyed about it sometimes, like, how are we supposed to be together properly if I hardly see her? Like, man, she’s allowed to come to my house like, once a week. In the afternoon. And that’s the only time we can… uh, hook up or whatever. It’s so annoying.”

“Just from an outsider's perspective, you know, you seem pretty happy.”

“Yeah. She’s definitely into me,” He musses up and fixes his fringe, “I dunno. It’s fine, just sometimes I wonder about shit. You know what I mean, right?”

“I’m probably not the best person to ask, seeing none of my relationships have worked out so far, and I’m also fairly drunk, so…”

“But you know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t give you the things you needed, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“So you do get it.”

“Mm, I suppose,” as our conversation tapers off I let my mind drift into thoughts about love and loneliness and the hollow disappointment of all of my relationships. These are bitter, useless, self destructive thoughts as usual, made even worse by the fact that I’m not exactly capable of rational thought while inebriated. Is drinking bad for me? Am I a miserable drunk? I have to physically shake myself out of my own head before I start talking myself into a hole again.

I turn to Evan to start saying something else about, I don’t know, whether he’s ever tried pranking someone by turning their school bag inside out and putting the books back into it or something stupid like that, but I see he’s distracted by something else across the bonfire.

It’s that girl with the pink hair. She’s leaning over a bag to rummage for more beer, and her short skirt rides up when she’s bent over like that so that her underwear is visible through the sheer material of her tights. I frown at the dirty little smirk on his face, the way hungry eyes follow her movements, and the look between them as she glances over her shoulder and sees him watching her. I nudge my knee against his to interrupt whatever is going on.

“Wow, nice legs, huh?”

He looks at me, surprised, but lets out a rough laugh, “Yeah, for sure.”

“Is she into you or am I just seeing things?”

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, c’mon, no, I’m just messing with you, she just looked like… I dunno.”

“Like what?”

I shift awkwardly, “You know what, don’t mind me, I’ve had too much to drink, I thought I detected flirting, or whatever, I guess I was wrong.”

The girl kneels onto the ground and starts asking around for the bottle opener, and Evan doesn’t take his eyes away from her. “She’s pretty though, isn’t she?”

“Hm?”

“Carlie. That’s her name. She’s pretty, do you think?”

“She’s single?”

“Yep.”

“So are you trying to set me up with her or are you just pointing that out?”

“I’m not trying to set you up.” Evan seems agitated by this idea that I might try to date pretty Carlie, who, by the way, treats me like I am contagious. As though it’s any of his business what she does, as if he should even care. Something sour settles in my gut, but I can’t tell whether it’s that I'm weirded out by this conversation or if the alcohol is nauseating me.

“Right, well, she’s not my type,” I watch his face carefully, “Is she yours?”

“She’s pretty hot.”

Maybe he's looking for my approval or my agreement, which I don’t give him on purpose. To see where it leads me I respond with a benign, “Oh, you think?”

“Uh huh,” They catch eyes again and she smiles coyly and quickly looks away to resume her conversation. That’s flirtation. She’s flirting with him, and him back, right in front of my face.

“You know, a lot of people would consider your girlfriend to be pretty hot too.” It’s true, I’ve heard those rugby boys saying it before, the only time they ever had anything remotely complimentary to say about any of the emos was to point out the things they fancied about Michelle and what they might like to do to her if she A. wasn’t emo, or B. nobody knew, so that they wouldn’t have to suffer the social consequences. I feel disgusted again at this memory. I know where I was, sitting on the bench lacing up my boots and saying nothing while they spoke casual filth about a girl I know.

It’s a similar feeling to the one I have now at this bonfire with Evan, and maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk, maybe he just gets a bit… leery, but when he stares across the fire at someone who isn’t his girlfriend I swear I am looking at Willy FitzHerbert.

He waves my comment away, “Yeah but at least Carlie is interested in sex.”

“How do you know that?”

He leans closer, “Obviously because I’ve done it with her.”

“Yeah?” I say, “When?”

He smirks and says nothing.

I push him again. “A few years ago?”

He lowers his voice and looks at me with eyes that glitter with salacious excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever once seen another boy look so pleased with himself as he says: “Try a month ago.”

It takes all my self control not to react. I just pause for a second as a shock of revulsion rips through my body, I feel it from my feet to the top of my head, and then, when I decide to speak, my voice is strange to my own ears, “While you were with Michelle.”

A shrug, “It just happened on a night out when she wasn’t there. I dunno.”

“She doesn’t know?”

“Course not. She’d break up with me.”

“And... you don’t want that.”

“No, because we’re in love. This stuff with Carlie, it was just… you get what I mean. It’s not like that with her.”

I sigh, “Uh, yep.”

So it appears it is the same for Evan as it is for all the others. Michelle is the virgin, Carlie is the slut and he wants it all at the same time. A girl worthy of love, and a girl interested in sex, two things that cannot converge. There is no girl that can be both.

“It felt good to let loose with someone who knew what they were doing, and like, not have to think so hard about making the other person all safe and comfortable and, blah,” he rolls his eyes, “Carlie is cool.”

“Right, yeah, she seems it.”

“You get me, right? Guys like us, you know, we need to be able to just relax sometimes, not think so hard…”

“Yeah, for sure… Guys like us, huh?”

“Hell yeah!” He clinks his beer bottle against mine, “I knew you’d get it, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should say something but I feel good now that you understand what I meant.”

I try to laugh but it sounds weird and strangled, so I bring the bottle to my lips in the hope that drinking will disguise my discomfort, or at the very least numb it a bit. I finish the last two thirds of it and toss it somewhere amongst the miscellaneous rubbish, remnants of a hundred other miserable bonfire nights on Dollymount strand.

Then, after a minute or two Evan nudges me again. It’s hard to look at him but I force myself to because it is what I would do if this situation was normal, “You’re not going to say anything, right? Like, to Michelle or Jen? Like I know you probably won’t...” A laugh as he adjusts his fringe, “That'd be insane, I know, but I wanted to make sure.”

“Me? Nah,” I say, “Why would you even have to ask? Don’t worry about it,” I scratch the back of my head, “your, uh, your secret is safe with me.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #um!#ta daaa!#i wonder what he is going to do HM #tw: sex mention #tw: alcohol

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dearweirdme · 8 days

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I was just curious about you and other followers and supporters of Taekook, how we’ve all felt about their relationship the further in we’ve gotten from the beginning of their enlistment. To put into context: despite Paris and T*ennie and everything, 2023 really did come close to convincing me 100% of Taekook, though most days I still tried to retain a healthy sense of skepticism about them.

These days though, we haven’t seen them in a while, so now I feel probably closer to 60-70% that they are SOMETHING more than friends. Like I almost ask myself each day, could they really be that? Isn’t that a little impossible? And if they are… can they manage to make it through this difficult period of extended separation? What would they even be like when they come out of the military?

It’s not like I’m having doubts, but it does just seem too good to be true the further away we get from seeing them in the present time.

I wonder if you or your other followers are feeling this way…

Hi anon!

My feelings and ideas about them haven’t changed. My expectations about seeing them together or hearing about them together during enlistment were very low even before they left last december. To me this is a period of time in which we will most likely get nothing to base our understanding of the current state of their relationship on. My state of mind going through this period is basically that I believe they were probably together before they enlisted, I am aware of the possibility of them not making it through this, but I have high hopes that they will. I think a possible breakup will be noticeable when BTS reunites.. and in the meantime all we can do is base our thoughts on whatever we might get to see.

I’ve seen comments about them having broken up because Tae hasn’t posted Jk yet and on them having not seen each other yet. To me those things mean nothing. Would it surprise me if Tae posted Jk at one point.. no, but at the same time I’m never expecting him to. Even last year, though it was a great Tkk year, we probably saw them together way less than they actually were. Just like all members probably saw each other more than we were aware of. They choose when to post about each other, they do not only post about each other when they actually meet. People will call me an idiot for this probably, but Jk doesn’t seem to want to be seen at the moment.. and I think all members would probably be aware of how the others want to be present in fandom right now.

It’s a hard time for those who like to have reassurances every now and then. Selfdoubt is a thing and it very often occurs when looking back at things. It does not surprise me that Tkk fandom has become a bit.. quiet lately. It is something we have to deal with though, because I truly think we won’t get much realtime Tkk for another year. Personally I’m not bothered much, because I always deal well with not knowing everything. I did not become a Tkkr without looking into things extensively first, and my ideas about everything I’ve seen have not changed. To me all the Tkkry from the past is still as valid as it was before enlistment.

I always kinda wonder about the ‘good to be true’ aspect I see sometimes (and I’m not wanting to be critical here, I just truly wonder), because to me that seems like people think Tae and Jk are this magical fairytale come to life. If we are correct about them I do feel we are seeing something unique, but to me it does not carry much of the magical fairytale. I think what we have spotted is the very cruel treatment of two boys/men in love. Sure, they are rich and famous and handsome and their love ia of the greatest kind, but a lot of the things we have spotted is actually signs of closeting, of two sensitive boys having to hide their feelings. While I do get the romantic side of seeing Tae and Jk together (obviously I do 🥰🥰🥰), I have at times thought that maybe if I were wrong about them it wouldn’t be a bad thing.. because that would mean that they didn’t go through some of the hard stuff I think they went through.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

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jucyfruit · 2 months

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Boy Power: The Women of Boygenius on the Joys of Nourishing a Supergroup Without the Superegos

By Chris Willman

The three singer-songwriters who make up Boygenius are musing about what they did and didn’t intend to accomplish when they went into the studio to make “The Record.” The six Grammy nominations they just collectively reeled in for their first full-length album together? Not actually part of the master plan. Neither was establishing themselves as role models for a much-needed sense of community across a swath of young America.

“We didn’t set out to be like, ‘And we symbolize friendship!’” bandmate Julien Baker points out, musing about the benevolent qualities that have been attributed to the group. “We just were like, ‘Let’s make a good record.’”

Fair enough. But have we mentioned that Variety‘s Group of the Year does, in fact, symbolize friendship — to the point that the band has virtually become an iconic representation of trifold intimacy? Sharing the bond the trio developed in the studio and on the road has been a key part of the appeal for the band’s avid fan base. It’s a conclusion that band member Lucy Dacus was not avoiding when she recently told Teen Vogue that “being affectionate onstage has been really fun and sweet, and it exhibits behavior that I think is healthy and good.” They even wrote about their growing closeness in meta album tracks like “Leonard Cohen.” “True Blue,” their signature loyalty ballad, may or may not be about the group itself, it’s hard to escape the feeling that a line like “It feels good to be known so well” somehow applies not just to the trio’s interpersonal relationships but to the generally progressive, empathetic, LGBTQ-friendly, folk-rocking audience at a Boygenius show.

No wonder Boygenius seemed to consistently have the longest merch lines of 2023 (at least this side of Taylor Swift’s), with fans seeking ways to fly their colors. In what can still register as a man’s world, suddenly, it kind of felt like everybody wanted to be a boy.

A concert by the trio has its rituals. The band members describe a private rite that occurs early in a set, right after they’ve opened the show with a handful of their hardest-charging songs, like “Satanist” (another friendship song, once you get past the irreverent title) and “$20,” and are transitioning into something more reflective. “We have a little moment where we look at each other during ‘True Blue’ every show,” Dacus reveals, looking across the table at bandmate Phoebe Bridgers, “and sometimes I’ll wink at you and be like, ‘Here’s the time where we check in.’ And sometimes I feel like we can see when each of us feel crazy.”

Bridgers agrees, saying, “Or we have a weird day, and we have to look at each other and just be like, ‘Oh, my God, this day is still trudging on,’” suggesting that there are hidden cues and codes being passed around while Dacus’ soft voice is tucking an audience of thousands into a warm, communal bath.

But there’s a more public-facing ritual at the end of the show, when the members basically pile on each other in some form or another. It can look like sheer, rough horseplay, but given that everyone in the group identifies as queer, these full-body collisions also been described in reviews or fan comments as “Sapphic” moments. How would they characterize them? “It’s Sapphic horseplay!” says Bridgers, grinning, and maybe not entirely kidding. “That is exactly what it is.”

“With the horseplay,” says Dacus, taking that term and running with it, “sometimes we kiss. Sometimes we spin around. Sometimes we throw things at the audience. Sometimes we crowd-surf. Sometimes we pick up Julien or bow to her. It’s never really planned. Sometimes our tits are out.”

Bridgers remembers what felt like a signal change moment at a London show in the summer: “Someone got on her friend’s shoulders and flashed me in Gunnersbury Park. It was right after we took our shirts off the first time” at their prior show. “I was like, ‘This is so sick'” — the good kind of sick — “‘that someone feels safe enough to do this.’”

Dacus agrees. “Yeah, it doesn’t feel violent or violating in that particular circumstance. Like, if someone walked by and flashed us right now, I’d be like, Uhhhh. But, yeah, there’s something about what the show culminates in, where it does feel very safe and celebratory.”

Where we are right now is the outdoor patio of a Studio City coffeehouse, where the only things being flashed are Baker’s easing-into-autumn sweater, or slightly more provocative items like the “I Love Cuntry Music” trucker hat that Dacus has just doffed, or the Viagra Boys cap that Bridgers keeps on, maybe to deflect any possible attention that passers-by might otherwise give to her tell-tale platinum hair. The few passersby wouldn’t guess that this is a group about to play a long-sold-out headline show at the Hollywood Bowl for its 2023 tour finale, or to do “Saturday Night Live” a week and a half after that. They’re laid-back and still capable of surprising and delighting each other in conversation, and not at all giving off any America’s Greatest Current Rock Band vibes, although they’ve earned the right to some attitude, with an album that much of the indie-rock crowd and not a few critics would agree is the year’s best.

“Phoebe was the one that was like, ‘This is gonna be big,’” Dacus says. “I had aspirations; you had plans,” she says, looking at Bridgers. “You were like, ‘We’re gonna do it!’”

“We had talked about the Hollywood Bowl in the kitchen of Shangri-La, remember that?” Bridgers says, referring to the Malibu studio owned by Rick Rubin, where they cut “The Record.”

“But I didn’t have any context,” Baker says, noting that neither she nor Dacus had ever set foot in America’s most iconic venue, having grown up around Memphis and Richmond, Va., respectively, versus the Pasadena stomping grounds that’d given Bridgers lifelong access to some bigger dreams. “Our last show” — in Los Angeles, at the end of their debut 2018 tour — “we played the Wiltern, and I was tearful backstage,” Baker says, as she remembers exulting: “‘I’m so proud of us! All my dreams have come true!’ Like I’d topped out.”

The Bowl, and Madison Square Garden just before it, were milestones even for Bridgers, the most visible solo artist of the three prior to this year. She’d topped out herself locally, maybe, at the Greek. Then a funny thing happened on the way to the Cahuenga Pass: “The Record” immediately established Bridgers, Baker and Dacus as equals in every way, even in the eyes of fans who might previously have favored or just been more immersed in one solo career or another. There was magic to how evenly gifted and well matched they were as frontwomen, as songwriters, as harmonizers. They truly put the super back in “supergroup” … and took the ego out of superego, in a manner of speaking.

Strength in numbers: What a concept! Why didn’t anyone ever try it before? Well, there’ve been a few tries at bringing existing titans together over the years, and hoping they wouldn’t clash. There was Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, and Asia, and the Souther-Hillman-Furay Band and … um … Well, let’s let the geniuses here come up with some slightly more contemporary analogues.

“You could look at Broken Social Scene and New Pornographers,” Baker says, but as soon as she starts dissecting the dynamics of those groups, it’s clear there aren’t really any recent antecedents that compare.

“I bet a lot of people try it, with a pretense that falls apart once they start to make it,” Dacus says, and then affirms why they’ve been able to come up with a successful joint project where others before them have bailed. “This collaboration is as important to each of us, if not more important, than our solo work,” she says. “And I bet a lot of supergroups are, even internally, thinking of it as a side project or a momentary thing.”

Bridgers agrees. “Yeah, because you’re going to make a third of what you’d earn making your own thing. So you’re like, ‘It’s my side thing — I’ll devote six months to it.’ But we put as much attention into it as if we were making our own records. The album took us so long to make, and we worked on it relentlessly. It was pretty serious from day one.”

Baker says, “It’s sick that the band has an identity that’s more than the sum of its parts.” (This maxim may be the closest Boygenius will ever come to a cliché, but they, and you, have got to embrace one that is this mathematically inescapable.)

When it came to the material they brought to the table, far from coming up with tunes that felt like discards from their solo releases, “The Record” ended up being chock-full of extremely personal and introspective songs. But it also included some of the most inherently commercial songs any of them have done, apart or together. You may recall that Bridgers had to be kind of coerced into making “Kyoto” a banger; in each other’s company, there was no such reticence.

“Definitely with ‘Not Strong Enough,’” Bridgers says, “I was like, ‘It’d be fun to have a radio song.’” (And, as it turns out, a Grammy song; it’s up for record of the year.) “With the songs that we were gravitating toward, we knew ‘True Blue’” — a Dacus-led ballad — “was gonna be such an indie smash, and fucking ‘Satanist’” — conceived by Baker — “goes so hard. ‘Strong Enough’ was the one we finished last, and I was like, ‘Let’s each write and sing a verse, because this could be the single.’” It didn’t feel like a sellout. “A lot of stuff that would feel contrived, solo, doesn’t feel contrived with these guys, because it’s just all in the spirit of fun and being together. And, yeah, it’s the first time I’ve ever been like, ‘Damn, people are gonna sing along to this part!’”

That delirious spirit stands in healthy contrast to the sad-core image some people might have slapped onto one or all of the band members. But it’s hardly all about the mirth. At the Bowl, as on every other night in the latter parts of the tour, Bridgers asked the audience to put away all phones for the album’s devastating final track, “Letter to an Old Poet,” as she walked the semicircular platform separating the front two seating areas. She says, “Every once in a while I see a phone and I fume, but mostly they’re great and they put their phones away. And because most of the show has been looking through people’s phones and not at their faces, suddenly they become a roomful of people, and it’s insanely powerful to me.”

Why that number in particular, for shutting down cameras? Is it just one of a dozen possible moments to make that request, or is there something in particular about this one’s wounded and angry spirit…

“I play plenty of heavy songs,” Bridges says, “but that one feels too dark to not be having a communal experience.”

“Isn’t that the only time that you’ve cried while doing a vocal take — during that song?” Dacus asks.

“Yeah. I had a couple years where I had a hard time crying,” Bridgers affirms. “I’m over it now, thank God. Now I cry all the time. But ‘Letter to an Old Poet’ is one of the only times I’ve cried onstage.”

“Lucky,” Dacus says. “I hate crying onstage. It happens. I hate that shit.”

These asides about tears might give a Boygenius novice the wrong impression about the band. Even their softer songs tend to have a barb in them, and others, like the screamfests “$20” or “Satanist,” are undeniably hard-ass. A cutting irreverence is the hallmark that makes the sentimental moments honest and disarming.

Their irreverence comes through in their choice of stage or TV outfits too: At the Bowl, they dressed up as the Father, Son and Holy Ghost (with Dave Grohl sitting in briefly on drums as a zombie priest). “If you think of a three-person costume,” Baker explains, “what’s three things? We were like, ‘We could be the Trinity.’” Maybe it’s just as simple as that — numbers as Halloween destiny. But the band members don’t demur when the suggestion comes up that maybe it also had something to do with the phrase that is repeated over and over again in the bridge of “Not Strong Enough”: “Always an angel, never a god.” They switched up that equation, if just for one night, getting deistic at the Bowl.

Less than two weeks later, for “SNL,” they dressed up as the Beatles in their Ed Sullivan-era early prime. The Trinity? The Fab Four? Screw CSNY and all the rest; these women know a real supergroup when they see one.

When “SNL” came around, it was clear they would only be emulating the Beatles and not, like, the Who. There was definitely not going to be any attempt on the show to repeat Bridgers’ guitar-smashing solo appearance of 2021. “Hey, I tried,” she says about not quite fully breaking her ax on that occasion; the guitar took a licking, but almost kept on ticking, a resilience she was amused, not annoyed, by.

This year, the group has been more about melting hearts than heating up flame wars — whether that’s been in their more nakedly revealing songs or taking up causes like dressing in drag in Nashville to support the trans community under political attack there, or inviting Indigenous groups to provide invocations before select tour dates.

When the band receives its Group of the Year award at Variety‘s Hitmakers event, Joan Baez will be presenting the honor to the trio. That may seem like an odd pairing if you’re only considering Boygenius’ more irreverent moments, but an utterly apropos matchup if you are keeping in mind the band’s deeply earnest side and, especially, the social conscience that flares up around their performances. As it happens, the group has also performed at Baez’s Bread and Roses benefits in the Bay area.

“Oh my God,” says Dacus. “Sometimes I have to remember how important she is, because in our experience of her, she’s just been super-kind, and complimenting us, and then it’s like, ‘You’re Joan Baez! You made music joyfully political for a whole generation of people!’ Sometimes we lament how people in media are asked to basically be politicians now…”

“Because politicians aren’t being politicians,” Bridgers interjects — “they’re being fucking TV stars.”

“But she set this example of, because you’re a human, you have to stand for things,” Dacus continues. “So, it’s not because we’re musicians that we care about these causes, it’s because we’re people, and we would be caring about them if we all had office jobs. A lot of people are afraid to do that, and she wasn’t, and it’s a great example for us. We are not very afraid to say what we believe. … Just as a person, I hope to be like her.”

Bridgers notes that Baez, in her initial heyday as America’s folkie sweetheart, “was losing opportunities because she was radical — and then that ended up being the fuel for her whole career. How radical she was was then rewarded.” She sums up Baez’s appeal in a nutshell: “Woody Guthrie was screeching this, and I’m gonna sing it.” (They crack up, with Bridgers noting that no offense to anyone living or dead was intended: “We’re big Woody fans.”)

Baker has thoughts about how they earn the right to be what might be perceived as political, whether it’s something as seemingly un-divisive as having Indigenous people do Land Acknowledgements introductions before their sets, or speaking up on trans or reproductive choice issues.

“Giving them something of ourselves in the songs is like an endearment practice, where we’re like, ‘You will trust us because you have an emotional connection to something we’ve said that resonates with you.’ So when we are in drag at the Nashville show [just after the state enacted anti-drag laws], kids are trusting our judgment, because we’ve gone to the trouble of sharing something difficult or even painful for us to communicate. Then it’s worth it for them to enter that conversation, because we’ve set the stakes of like what’s important to communicate, even if involves conflict or pain.”

The songs themselves aren’t always, if ever, aimed at the fans, though. Sometimes the target audience for the material is, well, Boygenius.

“We write songs to each other as a communication method,” Baker says.

Bridgers doesn’t think it should be mistaken for oversharing. “We have plenty of stuff that’s sacred and not shown to anybody other than each other. I think there’s this weird misconception sometimes that we don’t have a private relationship, because so much of it this year has been monetized in our performance.” And yet, Dacus says, their music is as transparently interpersonal as it sounds. “Some friendships over years don’t get to enough of a level of intimacy to share the types of fears and desires and hopes that we are saying.”

“We hang out,” declares Baker, as if this might not be a matter-of-fact thing for a working rock group. (It doesn’t go without saying.)

How long will the hang last?

In October, the band put out a four-song EP called “The Rest,” a sequel or companion piece to “The Record.” The title does have an air of at least temporary finality to it, as if the cupboard is bare. Says Bridgers, “It’s funny that it’s called ‘The Rest,’ because we absolutely do have more songs that we didn’t put out.”

But where do they go from here? In 2023, did the side hustle so overtake the main hustle that they should keep Boygenius going into 2024, when they could certainly sell out sheds or maybe even arenas they didn’t come near this year? They’ve already broken with supergroup form so much; would it be a terrible thing if they were to further break it to the point of unexpectedly doing an immediate, sequential band album? Or do they revert to their solo corners? Fans might wish there could be a multiverse in which the band never pauses, on one track, and individual careers proceed apace on another.

Conventional wisdom would suggest they will not let solo albums go unmade just for the sake of rocking more venues. But you will not get a definitive answer here.

“I don’t know,” says Bridgers. “It’s incredible to me that we have kept the ethos behind the band the whole way, which is: it just has to be fun. We’ve done a lot of shit, but there’s also shit we said no to, stuff that felt like it was like pushing a boundary as far as travel or labor and stuff that sounds like we might push ourselves into not having fun. So that gets to continue forward, after this album cycle. I think we just are gonna do whatever is fun, and remain each other to each other. These guys are as involved in what I do as they are in Boygenius. We show each other ideas, and…”

“We need each other’s brains,” Dacus says.

So is it possible to specifically say that solo albums are what’s next, or do they want to leave a bit of mystery?

The attempt to pin it down leaves them unusually cagey. “It’s a mystery,” Bridgers says.

Dacus: “I’ll just say I’m not thinking about it.”

Bridgers: “Oh, yeah. It’s a mystery to us.”

Dacus, having the final noncommittal word: “If it’s a mystery to you, it’s a mystery to us too.”

Hard to tell whether there might be any real indecision here, or whether they just don’t want to lay out all their cards for the outside world, or whether they might be having a difficult time reconciling themselves to a near-future in which they might be Zoom advisors to one another instead of daily physical confidantes.

In the immediate meanwhile, there is Grammy season, and a slew of awards to be won, or not won. Bridgers has some experience there, with her multiple nominations in 2021. “It was still very deeply fucking COVID when I was nominated, and I was pretty like traumatized last time, and like the only way I felt it was on the phone. To find out in a room full of people and be celebrating, it’s already way more fun.” Dacus says being collectively recognized is “triple the joy, right? Much easier to feel happy for them” than for herself, she says. “Much easier to feel.”

Is there a line from any of their songs that could maybe encapsulate how they’re feeling right now, between the six Grammy noms, the “SNL” appearance and the impending end-of-year accolades? At that question, they start to laugh.

“Give me your funny ones,” someone says.

Then Dacus says, “Ohhh, I have a cute one.”

“Which one?” the others ask, curious to get an earnest answer after all.

Quoting one of her own lyrics, Dacus lowers her voice, as if it’s suddenly occurred to her that it’s a secret that she’s sharing. “‘I never thought you’d happen to me,’” she says.

(x) photos by Jingyu Lin

#boygenuis #julien baker #lucy dacus #phoebe bridgers #interviews #archival #variety #november 2023

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sunyot · 3 months

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Must See T.V. Moments - Invincible 2024

*****SPOILERS for SEASON 2: EPISODE 6*****

I'm in my T.V. Phase now...

*******I MEAN IT. SPOILERS AHEAD******

The 'parasitic alien' remains a classic Super Hero villain. My personal first introduction to this villain came from watching Batman Beyond. In a two-episode Saga, Terry gets the opportunity to fight alongside The Justice League of his era. Naturally, he finds discord only to discover... well you get the idea.

This concept plays on one of our fears as people: being controlled. As gamers, we're so used to being puppetiers. Yet imagine Being the puppet. Imagine further maintaining a small hint of consciousness; an out of body experience where you watch your every action taking place. We might wonder if we'd still feel pain? Would we feel anything at all? The parasite would probably have a total lack of self-preservation, and that scares us.

This show still reigns as one of the best-written shows on television. Robert Kirkman handles tension so well. I'm avoiding reading the comics, but when I see an episode as good as this one it's very tempting. The series integrates so many layers, adding a density to the storytelling. Amazing story craft like this, in my opinion, is the cause of fiction withdrawal. I know the feeling well.

Sometimes, a series feels like it's speaking to you personally. It becomes a drug that taps directly into your veins. I keep a list of shows on my phone that give me this feeling. Maybe one day I'll share them. Really, I keep them to remind myself which shows give me the true feeling I'm searching for. I do this in the hopes of limiting my sometimes lengthy searches for new entertainment.

Let's start with the obvious.

Do you Ship 'Mark X Amber' or 'Invincible X Atom Eve'?

Fans of the series remain vocal about their preferences. And I get it. They prefer for Mark to spend the majority of his time as Invincible, the superhero. They want to see him at his most powerful, going on adventures, fighting alongside a crew, and receiving the admiration of beautiful potential partners. Seeing Mark in a more ordinary human life could feel less fun. And Amber is, in a way, a representation of that. Her groundedness reminds Mark, and the audience, that he's still just a guy. This can cause conflict between the audience and certain characters. Protagonists often serve a cathartic outlets for viewers. Fans of Twilight want to see the quiet, studious, normal young lady swept up into an extraordinary series of events. Seeing someone like themselves, allows them to live vicariously through the plot.

Likewise, superheroes serve as one of our culture's best self-insert fantasies...

This is good. This is healthy, I'd argue. Being able to explore yourself in an idealized fashion can help people create fragments of identity which can sometimes become the sparks of our moral centers. All that said, writers like Kirkman, understand that stitching these fantasies to universal human experiences are what make them memorable. It's the filtering of the wild through the boring that make our stories sing.

In real life, we have relationship problems. We screw up. We do poorly in school. We fail at our obligations time and time again, while the world forces us to push onward because our obligations are always with us. As Mark continues to try and do the right thing, his humanity outshines his Viltrumite heritage.

*****SPOILERS for SEASON 2: EPISODE 6*****

Rexsplosion reads Home Decor Magazines - Invincible 2024

"I actually thought Rex died..."

This series plays with tension brilliantly. It also avoids having too many moments of relief. When the immediate danger fades, the characters still live in a state of worry. They're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We learn something quirky about Rex, but only because he almost died. This semi-sweet moment humanizes him, yet emphasizes the ominous nature of the series. Our heroes have to take their happy moments when they can get them. The Team, now scattered, became a question mark. This world cannot afford uncertainty surrounding its heroes. We saw their near demise in Mark's absence.

And with a few quick scenes of Mark's loved ones, we're of where he's most vulnerable.

This brings me to my favorite aspect of the episode:

- The Fiction inside the fiction -

This will always be one of my favorite methods of storytelling. Seeing characters in fiction read or watch their own fiction lets us see how they relate to their world. Sometimes it's done through myths and legends. Sometimes in other clever ways...

When Mark receives a box of science fiction stories (stories written by his father) we are able to more directly relate to the character.

This look of wonder and skepticism on his face. This is all of us...

My father introduced me to Star Wars. He had the original trilogy on VHS tapes. He recorded the movies when one of the major networks aired them without commercials. I wore those tapes out, watching until my imagination expanded to the vastness of any epic tale; spilling over into my daily life sunshine I could carry in my pockets.

At this moment in the show, I am Mark. I'm sitting on my bed, hearing my father's voice as the story plays out on the pages and in my mind. And I'd wager, I'm not the only one.

In dramatic fashion, we now get to go on the journey inside this new universe. This fiction within a fiction is crucial as it becomes the notion of creation from the perspective of beings we know to be created. How funny is that. Funnier still, to Mark this tale plays as cinema. Whereas to us, it's still animated; which is a wild concept when thinking of sentience.

Even the title 'The Man with the Invincible Gun' ...feels like foreshadowing to me.

*****SPOILERS for SEASON 2: EPISODE 6*****

I'm sure most of you caught on quick, realizing that these stories are based on Mark's Father's real adventures. I think it's funny seeing a character like Mark, superhero, space traveler, one of the strongest beings in the Universe, forget all that, and lose himself in the story. Again, this character trait displays Mark's humanity. Of course, he eventually realizes that these stories are far from lore.

Knowing his father, it's probably safe to assume these were not heroic journeys of an idealistic space explorer. More than likely they were unsuccessful Viltrumite invasions of unsuspecting alien inhabitants. I also think we'll at some point get to meet some of these aliens and learn the truth of these encounters. But still, it's fun to dream.

This episode makes me want to read a good book...

It also makes me want to write. It's been a while since I've done that either.

A few more things. Seeing the Seth Rogan alien makes me wonder when I'm going to be able to hear him as his own character because every time he talks, all I hear is Seth Rogan. His is the only character that does that to me. I'm hoping my brain eventually adjusts.

Also, let's readdress the title screen.

What does it mean this season? In Season 1, the answer felt obvious. The blood splattered across the title showed the surprising violence of the heroes world, which slowly dragged Mark deeper into its depths. In this season, the classic 'Invincible' logo cracks away to reveal a red one.

What's the meaning, I wonder. Mark might be one bad event away from turning into Omniman, a true Viltrumite warrior, like the Mark of the other Universe. And speaking of other Universes...

Our friend Giant-Brain-Outside-My-Body-Man returns to get a bespoke suit from a tailor with four arms.

This tells me that no matter the universe, timeline, or year, nothing feels better than wearing a fresh new suit. We also get to see him do a little multi-dimensional hopping.

I wonder which Universe this could be...

Cryston

#sunyot #sunyotmedia #invincible #nolan grayson #omni man #debbie grayson #invincible show #viltrumite #amazon #amazon prime #amazon prime video #prime video #robert kirkman #tv stills #steven yeun #invincible season 2 #invincible spoilers

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cowboyjen68 · 4 months

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Hi Jen, thanks for all you do. Just wondering if you can speak to something I'm experiencing with my wife. I'm in my 30s and in a very loving, communicative marriage but one thing that always bugs me is how often she's on her phone and endlessly scrolling. We are in the midst of family planning and I speak often about who I want to be for our kid: someone who tries to be present, someone who spends intentional time with family. And she tends to agree with me, but it doesn't seem to change anything. Not that I expect that she does exactly what I do, but it can make me sad to see what was verbalized as a shared value go to the wayside.

I've had direct conversations with her about how sometimes I feel ignored or rejected when she looks at her phone when I'm midsentence or when we're in the middle of what I thought was an engaging conversation. She is very responsive to any concerns or requests I have (and vice versa) but the phone thing seems to come back up over time.

At what point do you find a way to accept things as they are? Do I continue to bring up my concerns or do I try to embrace the dynamic that exists in front of me?

This is my first healthy relationship after a decade long slide into hell with my ex, so I am still somewhat new to how healthy relationships operate.

Thanks again and I appreciate all that you're doing for lesbians younger than me to bridge generational gaps :)

The constant need to check on one's phone is definitely a habit at best and an addiction at worst. It can be a very hard habit to break. Admitting she is on her phone too much is only a small step. She really needs to see that she is constantly reaching for her phone without any thought about it.

See if she can agree to put her phone down, away from her, in another room and even shut it off for certain times of the day. Meals, when you are watching a movie together, when you are in bed and having those important evening couple "pillow talk" times. You deserve a few hours of her undivided attention daily or at least a few time a week. IF she cannot do that it is an addiction and I would suggest she seek some help with breaking the pattern.

If she agrees to set it down AND away from herself when you want her attention then I think you and she will find it becomes a good habit with practice. It will become automatic to put the phone away when meal time is here or when it is one on one time and that will become easier for her.

You are the only one who can decide if you can't live with the constant scrolling even when you are having a meal or an important discussion. IF she can't or won't try to change her habit you need to decide. If you are already feeling resentful for her lack of response to your very reasonable request it will only get worse unless she not only agrees to try but succeeds in breaking her reliance on the phone.

If you do not feel heard, respected, or feel like your emotions are being acknowledged it is not as healthy of a relationship as you deserve

#habit #addiction #phone addiction #constant scrolling

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yuri-for-businesswomen · 8 months

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if i tell you you are not ready for this interview.

my translation. my commentary is highlighted.

interviewee: ilan stephani who has her own website describing her as a “best selling author”. she worked as a prostitute for 2 years in a brothel and successfully finished her college education. she is a “body coach” now.

„Men are doing terrible sexually”

Ilan Stephani worked in a Berlin brothel for two years. She describes her experiences in her new book.

Miss Stephani, you walked to the prostitution organization Hydra with some friends for a consultation: You wanted to become a prostitute. What did you hope for with this profession?

IS: I didn’t want to become a boring college student. I wanted intense contact. I didn’t have good experiences: My first boyfriend cheated on me with such self-confidence it made me feel the question of power in sex. I wanted to gain social and sexual sovereignty. As a daughter from a good home, I learned how to fluently deal with different people. Those are qualities that were suddenly honored in prostitution. That totally flashed me.

she was emotionally traumatized from her cheating ex-partner and thought prostitution was a fun new adventure. this gave her some wicked sense of control. you can hear the classism from this privileged and educated woman when she calls herself a “daughter from a good home”. off to a good start.

Is that a hunger for life?

IS: Yes. And this is the thing for all men who go to a brothel: I’m hungry for life. And they think a man needs sex for that, which is of course bullshit. Men just learn that they have to experience life like this now. But contact with a smiling person is what enlivens us.

yes girl im sure these men come to you for your smile and because they are “hungry for life” and not because they want to get off in a woman. be for real.

Even though it’s a paid and fake smile?

IS: Yes, people can ignore that really easily.

she admits here that sex buyers know any joy and enthusiasm is fake and simply ignore it to proceed with sex acts. and yet she feels sorry for them.

And that you have sex with men who you don’t desire at all, that didn’t make you hesitate?

IS: It did. But you often have sex in a loving relationship without loving or wanting the other in that moment. That’s more about a feeling of obligation. There is a smaller difference to prostitution than you think. I’ve been working as a body therapist with women for seven years, and they all basically did for free what I was paid for. I had already experimented with anonymous sex. I went to a swinger club and already knew this normalcy and openness. And I was excited for this new social challenge.

so the two options for women are to have sex out of obligation or for payment? girl. also you are generally attracted to your partner, just don't want sex sometimes. in a healthy relationship you would not feel obligated. this was an experiment to her – she is making a mockery out of women who are in prostitution out of financial necessity. i wish she had just stuck to anonymous sex in swinger clubs.

What social challenge do you mean?

IS: All this performance art: For example, you take the money very discreetly, so nobody realizes that a payment has been made. I play that I have to moan exactly now and at the same time I take care that the towel doesn’t move from underneath me. And randomly, after half an hour, our wonderful encounter takes a natural end – and maybe the people also told me some secrets. They talk to prostitutes as if we signed a non-disclosure agreement. I had control the whole time. And usually, the world does not wait for little female students. But these men waited for me.

very normal for a supposed service to pay secretly to keep up an illusion of not actually being a service. it’s true, playing sexual pleasure is a challenge. not something that should be expected of women but okay i guess we’re admitting that prostitution is reproducing misogyny. the last two sentences make it very obvious that her self-esteem is completely dependent on men. another thing i noticed is that she says “people” when in the rest she talks about men. this is a common tactic to obfuscate the reality that prostitution is mostly women serving men.

You worked in a small, female-led brothel, with excellent working conditions. Still: You told the boys they are amazing at satisfying women, even when many can’t really. If I’m being strict here, you supported phallic culture.

calling sex buyers “boys”. nice infantilization to make them seem harmless. otherwise good question that makes it clear that prostitution is inherently anti-feminist.

IS: Yes. Prostitution stabilizes this culture. But as a prostitute, I don’t participate in the patriarchal elevation of the erection. Men fail in phallic culture, that is their problem. They are supposed to have an erect penis, and then it’s flaccid. What do you think, how nervous they often are, when they think they have to bring it now. I hear: “Please release me from the pressure to have to meet these standards.” And I say: “It doesn’t matter whether you have an erection or not. It’s not important. You are alright.” But of course in the end you are right: Women have always validated men under patriarchy and made them feel good.

“yes prostitution supports the patriarchy but -” not interested in what you have to say. take the L. the way she extends so much empathy to sex buyers. i guarantee you they don’t give a fuck and don't think about women and especially prostituted women any further than how fuckable we are. way to reproduce traditional gender roles: the woman as caring, empathetic, taking men’s feelings into account and defending them whatever they do. women telling men they are good enough when they really aren’t. women putting their own desires aside to help and teach men. and yet they will go home and still not know how to satisfy a woman because they pay you to lie to them. but hey she is sooooo self-aware.

That didn’t bother you?

IS: Little. I felt sorry for them. Men are doing terrible sexually in this society. Worse than women, because unlike women they don’t know what they lack. If cumming in women who pretend for them is the highlight of their sex life – how sad is that? The brothel is just one symptom of this poor sex we have.

men are doing so terribly sexually that they can legally buy sex. what is this woman on. this is almost bordering on men’s rights activism. poor men who have orgasms all the time while women have to pretend. maybe the sex wouldn’t be “poor” if men didn’t see women as a means to an end, their own orgasm. but sure you can frame it like her i guess.

What is poor sex – and what is rich sex?

IS: The poverty is that we desperately yearn to touch each other and make each other happy. And we don’t succeed. Women fake orgasms, that is not just a funny topic for the boulevard press. That is a failed communication every time. And men say: The things you like are so boring they make me fall asleep, I need something better. There are so many false expectations. The penis has to enter the vagina, that is such a strict idea about sexuality. And all this in a romantic relationship between two people. Hollywood and the porn industry have commercialized this. And these false pictures cause sexual abuse, sexual trauma for women. And that’s all the fault of the sex we have.

wow, they managed to talk about poverty – but not the impoverished women who are the majority in prostitution and don’t have the privilege to make intellectual considerations about poor little sex buyer meow meows because they have to deal with the abuse. men yearn to make women happy? i have to laugh. and prostitution is helping here how? by teaching men healthy boundaries and communication? again, i have to laugh. she extends no empathy to women or these men’s partners, only to the men who probably cheated on them with her – most sex buyers are not single. and “the penis has to enter the vagina” is literally 90% of prostitution. again, what is she on. so hollywood and the porn industry are evil but prostitution is not? god, please let brains fall from the sky. some people need them.

Now you could say: Kismet [destiny], our sex has become like this, now we have to work through it. You think something else is possible. What would that be?

IS: Good sex has to be freed from definitions that stress us. Thoughts like “sex is only good with an erection”, that’s stressful. We don’t know how to protect our sexuality from these definitions. For example, I discovered slow sex. We laid together for hours, a relaxed and unerected penis in a relaxed vagina. Nothing happened for a long time – except my leg went numb and my boyfriend’s back hurt. But after a few tries, something happened, and it was better than anything we ever experienced. We sensitized our genitalia again. I had my first vaginal orgasm. Yes, dear previous sex partners, the first!

not her talking about “protecting our sexuality”. i don’t even know what to say anymore. prostitution is all about penetration and defining sex to make it a service. she experiments with her partner but sex buyers can’t do that? and she proudly proclaims that none of her sexual partners had made her cum before (at least vaginally). this is such a mess. and now this banger:

Was that the point where you exited prostitution?

IS: Yes. I got bored before that though. And then I went to a workshop, where a group of women was supposed to find our G spot. I was pretty numb vaginally. At first it was funny because we were fingering around in each other with latex gloves, at some point your fingers start to cramp. Well, in the end we found it, and it was such a fluent and ecstatic experience! After that I stayed in the brothel for three weeks. And then I opened my eyes one day and thought: I’m not going there anymore. I was finished with it.

she never even experienced an orgasm before entering prostitution... literally completely unexperienced. and when she realized she could actually feel pleasure and wasn’t merely there to satisfy men she used her privilege to exit prostitution. and because she got “bored”. again, this is a fucking mess. and now she is some sort of body therapist for other women and profits from having been prostituted because everyone fucking loves these stories no matter what the background is. these narratives are extremely harmful to marginalized women in prostitution and play right into men’s hands. why are we not talking more about how a vaginally numb and sexually repressed woman whose partners never bothered enough to make her orgasm entered prostitution and how this is not a good thing? i fucking hate this newspaper because they are so uncritical.

Your bad experiences did not play a role?

IS: Not directly. I only realized later on that prostitution traumatized me. I had one customer who violently had sex with me. He was a smart sadist. A polite, friendly man. But then suddenly he just did what he wanted, touched me brutally and fucked me violently. He didn’t want consent. It was rape, even though it was not rape legally, because I did not say no. He showed me how I’m not able to set boundaries, because I was not prepared for something like this. I think that no woman is prepared for that because we are raised to be these smiling, nice girls.

how is she so aware but so wilfully ignorant at the same time. the cognitive dissonance is insane.

The infamous “she didn’t defend herself”.

IS: Yes. I work a lot with women who say: No, that was not rape, it was in my relationship and I didn’t say no. And I know exactly why she didn’t say no.

Why?

IS: Because we are the smiling girls. Because we are cuter when we cry silently than when we are angry. Our instinct that could prevent traumatization is repressed. The protective instinct: Set boundaries, say no, defend your boundaries. And there is no Yes if you are not able to say No. If we taught girls to say no, before we teach them to wear G-strings, we would reach sexual paradise. Because men would have to progress.

no words.

Don’t we try already?

Do we? I see women who are extremely scared. They’re scared that they won’t have sex anymore if they say no. That the man leaves. And they think, their only turn-on is to be “fucked hard”, to be a vessel. Women don’t know their own strength. Women’s bodies are not inferior to men’s bodies. That is a patriarchal lie. I’m pro sexual feminism. And that’s why I don’t work in prostitution anymore. I can do a lot better things with my sexual power than to say: “I’m your vessel today”.

the only thing that i can get behind in this whole mess. she is not even wrong about some things but the way she frames everything completely releases men from any accountability and she doesn't attack the system prostitution at all, she says the brothel is a symptom of boring sex and not like, woman-hate. and these are the voices that are the loudest in the german debate on prostitution.

#i will do more of these to show what narratives are dominating the german debate #and thereby influence legislation #anti prostitution #germany

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insanechayne · 10 months

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~ ~ ~

#you’ve usually sent me a message by now #but today I wake up for work and I’ve got nothing from you #and I know I probably won’t hear from you until close to midnight and then we’ll barely get to talk at all #because that’s what always seems to happen these days #idk sometimes lately it feels like I’m having to chase you or beg for your friendship or something like that #and it really sucks and kinda hurts and makes me feel stupid #you’re still my best friend and I still want to talk to you as much as possible #I’m still happy that you at least keep up the small effort of talking to me every single day because that’s our thing #but really how hard is it to send a message? you don’t have 20 minutes in your busy day to just sit and type something to me?#I’m not belittling how busy you may actually be I’m just pointing this out #and you still don’t want to have any connection aside from here and it’s like… idk I don’t want to be friends across a screen forever #I wonder if you still think of me as a secret even though you say we’re just friends #you can’t have it both ways and it’s starting to really fuck me up #because I’m trying to move on with my life and be a good partner to my girlfriend #but you still keeping me a secret has that glint of hope that you still want me and will one day use me again #and that’s not really healthy for anyone but especially not me and my new relationship #how do I bring this up to you? how do I talk to you and move forward if you barely speak to me anymore as it is?#because every time you are here we have so little time and you have so much else going on that I feel guilty about wanting to bring this up #I don’t want to topple this stable place we’re in with our friendship #and I don’t want to be bringing the mood down when I know you’ve been busy and tired etc #so then when can I ever get it out? when can I discuss these issues with you and start to find closure?#I don’t know what else to do about this except keep waiting you out for my opportunity in whatever form that takes #personal

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pottersfia · 1 year

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help me? | g.w. x fem!reader

summary: you realize you never really enjoyed fingering and decide to ask george weasley for some help

warnings/content: smut ofc, fingering, oral (f receiving), language

a/n: more george content :)

word count: 1.5k

"I do it almost every night." angelina said with a giggle.

"babe, are you sure it's not an addiction?" you laughed with her.

"it's a healthy relationship with my body! i haven’t as much since i started dating fred, though." she smiled. the two of you were sitting in your shared dorm room and the topic of masturbation sort of randomly came up. you were still somewhat a virgin, despite being with george. the two of you have done everything from heated make outs to oral sex and even then, those things only happened a handful of times. he never pressured you to go any further.

"I mean, I still do but sometimes I think it's kind of boring? it's just rub the bean a bit then boom I'm done, every single time." you sigh.

"have you tried fingering yourself?" she asked.

"it does nothing for me! it just feels uncomfortable every time i try."

"no way, if you really get into it, it's so worth it. maybe ask George to help you? I like it better from fred than myself." you thought about her words. it might be a good idea. you figured vaginal stimulation just wasn't for you, but maybe it was the position. or even you fingers being too short. there was only one way to find out.

you looked over at Angelina and smiled, breaking out into a laugh. "what?" she laughed with you.

"it's just that we're literally talking about our sex lives with our twin boyfriends. imagine if they heard us right now." the two of you laughed together.

...

you were laying with george in his bed, listening to him ramble on about his day as soft music from a record player he was gifted played in your ears in the background. you tried your best to actively listen to him, nodding and making small comments. you held his hand and stared at his fingers.

the conversation you had with angelina was fresh in your mind and you couldn't help but notice how long his fingers were. you softly played with his fingers, tracing over them and softly sighing as you leaned further into his side.

george noticed how you stopped replying to him. he looked down and noticed how you seemed to zone out and focused on his hand. he chuckled softly and wiggled his fingers causing you to look up at him. "distracted?" he asked.

"just a little." you smiled at him and looked back down. "sorry, what were you saying?"

"doesn't matter, really. what's going on in your head." he asked. you shifted your position, turning so you're facing him and resting on your legs.

"I kind of want to ask you something." you worked up the courage to say.

"what is it?" he nods at you.

"ok so, I was talking to, um, a friend about..." you looked at him and saw how he waited for you to go on but broke your eye contact as you continued, "don't laugh but we were talking about masturbating." you looked back up at him to see his reaction and he had a small smirk on his face. "I said don't laugh!"

"no, please continue. it's a normal topic I'm just wondering where this is going." he was clearly holding back a laugh but you ignored it.

"anyway, she was talking about how she likes fingering and it made me think of how I never really tried it because it's uncomfortable-"

"are you asking me to finger you?" he interrupted. you give him a blank stare for a moment.

"I was getting there." you smiled.

"that's why you were distracted by my hands?" he smiled back. you rolled your eyes playfully but nodded.

"I want to know if it can actually feel good for me." you reached out for his hand and held it again. "also, I've always loved your hands." you kissed his knuckles with a playful smile on your face.

"come over here." he held one arm out and patted his lap with the other which instantly made you move to straddle him. your arms were rested on his shoulders and around his neck as he placed a hand on your hip and the other on your cheek. he moved your face closer to him, pulling him into a kiss.

the kiss was sweet and passionate as they always were. the warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach grew as your lips moved together. you were eager for what was to come and pushed yourself closer to him, causing you to grind on his lap. you slowly continued to motion almost without george even noticing. he moved his hands under the baggy t shirt you wore. he felt your hips moving and softly rubbed the skin on your thighs making you let out a quiet whimper. he broke the kiss tome down to your neck, littering soft kiss all over it. you leaned your head back and closed your eyes, taking in the feeling. george put his hands back on your hips guiding you to lay down next to him like you were before and he hovered over you.

"can I take this off?" he whispered, pulling up your shirt a bit. you nodded. "please." you practically moaned out. you helped him pull it off all the way and he kissed your cheek making you smile at him. "you're so gorgeous, y/n." he leaned down to kiss your lips, then your jaw, then your neck and leading down. as he kissed down your body you felt yourself getting more and more turned on. you let out soft noises and watched him pull your shorts off. he looked down and smiled at the small wet patch on your underwear.

"I need you so bad." you said. he looked at you and pulled you underwear off. "I love how wet you are for me." he slowly rubbed your clit making you moan. he moved his hand and lifted it up to your mouth. "suck on my fingers." you instantly opened your mouth and he placed his middle and ring finger inside. you swirled your tongue around them making sure to get the as wet as possible. if he wasn't hard already, he definitely was now.

he pulled his fingers out and went back to rubbing your clit. "I'll start with one ok? tell me how you feel." you nodded at him and he slowly pushed his middle finger inside you. he rubbed your clit with his thumb and held your hand with his other hand. you didn't feel uncomfortable, but the pressure you felt was a bit more than when you tried yourself. he didn't move at first to make sure you were ok until you asked him to continue. he moved in and out of you and the pressure started to feel better. you softly whimpered at the feeling but wanted more.

"ok, I think I'm ready for two." you said and he nodded. george pushed his pointer finger in and noticed how you gasped at first. he leaned down and licked your clit trying to ease the feeling. you moaned and relaxed you leg muscles that were a bit tense, making him continue fingering you. he moved in and out slowly again as he moved his fingertips inside massaging you. "please don't stop." you moaned out. he smiled and went on slowly getting faster.

George always knew when you were close. he felt you squeeze your legs around his head a bit and lifted his head to look at you. "just like that,good girl." you whimpered at the praise and smiled down at him. he smiled back at you and said, "please cum for me." you nodded and put a hand in his hair, pushing him back down to your clit and he instantly eats you out again. it all feels so good, being filled with his fingers reaching your g spot, his hot mouth swirling on your clit, and to make it better he reaches his other hand up to play with your boobs.

you feel yourself getting closer and closer and with a soft breath of "please, georgie-" the knot snaps and you moan out as you cum on his fingers. George slowly pulls out his fingers and keeps lapping at your clit while you ride out your orgasm. you have to pull him off of you because of the overstimulation and practically get wet again at the look on his face. his hair is messy and his mouth is wet and he's staring at you with a smile as he puts the fingers that were just inside you in his mouth.

"you're killing me, George." you sigh. he laughs and sits all the way up to lean over close to your face. "how did that feel, darling?" he asked. "so good. you have no idea." you leaned up to kiss him and he kissed back pushing you to lay on the bed.

#george weasley x y/n #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley smut #george weasley x you #george weasley fluff #george weasley fanfiction

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dreamy-love222 · 16 days

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School girl crush story time:

Mehdi was a really cute upperclassman that was very good at studying, he was way taller than Amir, had long brown hair with defined curls, a cute button nose, clear skin, pretty and kind looking brown eyes and plump lips, I used to draw him when we were on a break sometimes.

There was one problem. I never talked to this boy before. But my mom knows his mom (mostly people who went to this prestigious school in Tunisia were kids of doctors/ business men/ politicians/ engineers ect… his mom was an ophthalmologist that did her thesis at the same time as my mom and they studied together throughout all the years of medschool. So she was closer to her than to Amir’s mother who was a dental assistant (I think that’s how she knows her it’s really vague in my memory) at my aunt’s Cabinet (she’s a well known dentist in Tunisia)

Anyway… my heart would break every time I see him hug Amène the popular girl, or kiss her cheek. she hung out with upperclassmen and I thought it was so cool but I hated her guts after what she did to me and how she made my relationship with Amir awkward. So Mehdi was 15 years old and was in a relationship with Amène. And idk how Amène found out maybe it’s because I was writing his name and last name with hearts all over my copybooks, I was obsessed with him. And he never bullied me or made fun of me for being overweight or anything! So she embarrassed me multiple times by getting me to talk to Mehdi and I would get all flustered and suddenly I forgot how to form a coherent sentence.

They broke up but still had a flirty relationship and amène wanted me to get with him (she didn’t really like him like I did, just wanted a fun time is what she told me and she also liked that boys would literally fall at her feet)

Whenever amène would try to embarrass me He would laugh to make the situation less awkward and tell me it was okay, he was also always accompanied by his best friend, another Mahdi lol it’s pronounced the same just written differently.

But one time as I was waiting for my mom to pick me up and Mehdi and Mahdi were also right outside our school. And I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation but I was with nobody and they were talking about a Sarra

So naturally I got curious when I heard my name.

« - Did you know that Sarra from the 7ème has a huge crush on you? »

« -yeah, it’s pretty obvious, plus amène told me, I don’t understand why everyone is so mean to her I always see the boys in her class swarm up around her during the break and make fun of her calling her names… she’s a pretty cute girl if I do say so myself, she’s always kind to those around her too, our interactions were very sweet… but I don’t see myself dating her… she seems… idk too innocent… childlike almost, but at the same time she acts more mature than all the girls in her class that I know of (he’s talking about the popular girls that are Amène’s friends that only Date upperclassmen) when she isn’t being bullied I see her drawing, sometimes I see her with Yasmine (Yasmine is also very well liked by the boys but she always rejects them in a badass way haha) but she’s mostly alone… her head in the clouds, I wonder what she thinks about. »

It did hurt a bit that he didn’t want to date me but this was a turning point in my life

1- a boy thought I was PRETTY CUTE!AND SWEET WHAAAAT????

2- he thought I was mature! He saw through the facade… me having to keep up a persona so I don’t seem too gloomy and sad (I wouldn’t shut up about my dad and how much I miss him if I was honest with my classmates) (I would tear up when I see dads coming to pick up their children afterschool. I was so jealous because my dad was working abroad)

3- he cares enough to wonder what I think of!!!!

For reference i was 157cm I used to have a bob with bangs and my hair was silky Dark brown and very beautiful compared to now. It was healthy silky and shiny, when it would dry naturally it would look like I went to the hairdresser… I wish my hair still looked like that. (Honestly if I am told it would go back to how it was once I go into recovery I would try) I also had a smaller nose (I want my old nose back PLEASE!) big pink lips. Huge brown eyes that looked even bigger because my face was smaller. When I look back at pics I feel so sad that I thought I was ugly I was just a bit overweight…. Children can be brutal honestly.

So yeah, way down memory lane we go.. this is literally so embarrassing to share lool (I hope no one I know irl finds this but at the same time who cares I am 19! I can do whatever!)

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earlgreytea68 · 9 months

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If I may present some more lyrics related thoughts: The line "Last night I dreamt I still knew you" probably haunts me more than any other on SMFS, and I can't help but wonder if Pete had the hiatus in mind when writing them. He and Patrick went from being basically inseparable, to Patrick not knowing his kid, and performing his own music with so much more confidence than the boy who hid his face under a hat onstage all those years ago. Pete must have felt like a ghost in his own life without his musical other half by his side, but now here they are together on the other side, and they're stronger than ever!

okay, okay, so to me Flu Game is SUCH a hiatus-y song that i wonder sometimes if it's not a song with old lyrics stuck in it, or if Pete sent old lyrics to Patrick, Idk, did it finally seem like time to write through the hiatus in this particular way? But the lyrics seem more depressed than the rest of the album. Even given things like "I used to be a real go-getter," there's a brutality to "Oh, God, kinda please would you kill me now?" (I know Genius says this is "kindly please" but I stand firm that I think it's "kinda please.")

Anyway, everything about this song feels like it could come from the hiatus, because it's all about someone you knew so desperately well, someone you carved out space for in the world, just you and him against the world, and now you're so distant that you're just a face in the crowd he's up there performing to, and there you are, left with all this love and no one to give it to, trying to pretend you're getting through each day when it's exhausting, and what are you dreaming about? That you still knew each other (all of my wildest dreams ended up with you and me). That's your wildest dream (I will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me).

I can't be who you need me to be is so very what Pete Wentz thought at the beginning of the hiatus, and all he's doing is working flat-out to keep everything going and it's totally not appreciated and he can't even figure out anymore what's real or fake and he worked so hard to carve out that space and you're just going to leave it.

And he knows none of this really matters and nobody will care and it's all pointless but he can't seem to stop wanting to catch all of your ears, he can't stop seeking that attention, none of it is healthy or good but he's stuck in it, what else is he going to, he's got all this love and an empty space next to him.

There are also a lot of themes in these lyrics that strike me as being more common in his pre-hiatus stuff: The idea of faking how hard everything is so that you make it look easy shows up in Alpha Dog (we must make it hard to look so easy doing something so hard) and I'm pretty sure it shows up somewhere else, too, but I'm blanking on it now. The idea of Pete writing as Fall Out Boy the band and its unhealthy relationship with its fans also feels more pre-hiatus than post- (that's in Hum Hallelujah and Our Lawyers...). I might just be forgetting the post-hiatus occurrences of these themes, but they feel older to me. I have long wondered if this song is an old-lyric song. In interviews about the album, it seems clear that Patrick likes this song a lot and that Pete is less enthusiastic about it and considers it one of those "Patrick-y" songs that comes out of his head and his head alone. Which to me also slots into "he pulled these lyrics from God knows where." But, again, I could also see it that maybe Pete found them and finally thought it was time to share them. Who knows?

I haven't even talked yet about my absolute favorite lyric in this song: "Late at night in my room, lie awake and think of you and all your little dooms." First of all, this is another one of Patrick's odd-rhythm specialties, and I love it so much because it highlights so nicely my favorite part of the line: you and all your little dooms. Ugh, I just love that. Genius tells me it's probably a reference to orgasms and I just think that Pete Wentz never talks about sex as much or as straightforwardly as Genius thinks he does lololol. Which isn't to say he doesn't talk about sex, just that this lyric is about so much more than orgasms. It's so brilliantly evocative of that kind of relationship where a million little things seem to condemn it and drag it down. And given how hiatus-y the song feels to me, I think of the way Pete must have felt as it was all falling apart, that talking to Patrick was just an endless series of "little dooms" that Patrick kept flinging at him. What a perfect, beautiful little turn of phrase for the way things can succumb to the quicksand of problems.

Idk, I just love Flu Game.

And it is perhaps important to note that it leads into "Baby Annihilation," Pete's return to the poetry of the pre-hiatus time, but this time polished up to be JUST POETRY, no song it's being tacked to the end of, this standalone moment of Pete Wentz (with Patrick backing orchestration, the truest representation of their partnership we've really ever had, tbh), with it's closing musing of "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" AND THEN we get "Kintsugi Kid," a song EXPLICITLY about that period of Pete's life where he was self-destructive but titled for how he came out so much better in the end, AND THEN the Patrick Stump special of "What a Time to Be Alive," the song Pete has very fondly called "pure Patrick," and it just seems so fitting to me that at the end, Patrick comes roaring back into this hiatus-y stretch, and we come back into the present.

#peterick #fall out boy #fob

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release-the-mccracken · 5 months

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Chris x Pete playlist

The word's on the streets and it's on the news, I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you. He's got two left feet and he bites my moves. I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance. The second I do, I know we're gonna be through. I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you.

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind. Hang it on a shelf in good health and good times. Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial. For what it's worth, it was worth it all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end, it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.

Underneath this bed of ashes, still withholding everything like we were never close. Don't you worry, baby. No sense trying to change it. Imma strike these matches, never had control. I'm ready to let go, no. Was I fooling myself? Imma spread these ashes, never had these ashes. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready to let go.

This earthquake weather has got me shaking. Inside, I'm high up and dry. Pictures of you, pictures of me, hung up on your wall for the world to see. Pictures of you, pictures of me, remind us all of what we used to be. Confess to me, every secret moment. Every stolen promise you've believed. Confess to me, all that lies between us, all that lies between you and me.

I wish you were less narcissistic, I wish I had known how to help. I wish you could've seen what I loved in you instead of hating yourself. I wish I were more understanding, I wish you were way less intense. Maybe then you could still stand me 'cause I wish we could've stayed friends when our never-meant-to-be relationship ended.

I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio, hear the DJ say that love's a game of easy come easy go. But I wonder does he know, has he ever felt like this? And I know that you'd be right here if I could've let you know somehow. I guess every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn.

I think you're honestly something I needed to lose. I know it's not healthy, it doesn't help me. But I do anyways. Looking at photos, reading the letters that you gave me. I could never throw them out 'cause a ghost never leaves a haunted house.

I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know. I can't let you go, so find someone great, but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy, I wish you all the best really. Say you love her, baby, just not like you love me. And think of me fondly when your hands are on her. I hope you're happy, but don't be happier.

Is this part of your story? One that I had never lived. Cause sometimes, I look in her eyes and that's where I find a glimpse of us. And I try to fall for her touch, but I'm thinking of the way it was. Said I'm fine and said I moved on, I'm only here passing time in her arms. Hoping I'll find a glimpse of us.

You put me in a heart-shaped box. Now, you only ever call me when you're high. You know you ruined Nevermind. Now, every song is about you in my mind. So what if we broke up? I don't ever think about you, but the worst thing that you ever did? You ruined Nirvana, and I can't forgive you for that.

You betrayed me and I know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt. Yeah, you'd talk to her when we were together. Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter. It took you two weeks to go off and date her. Guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.

#chris x pete #pete x chris #heychris x pete wentz #pete wentz x heychris #heychris #pete wentz #fall out boy #fob #playlist #bandom #bandom rpf #rpf #rpf playlist #rpf safe #pro rpf

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silentwillowwhisperer · 9 months

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!!!!

I can't believe I forgot what this week is!! It's bi week! Thank you, tumblr, for reminding me!

This is a really long post, feel free to just skip around if you want. I would definitely check out the links/video!

(Before I start talking, yes, I have done research and I will be providing a bunch of great articles about bisexuality.)

IF YOU ARE BISEXUAL AND/OR QUESTIONING, STEP ONE OF REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY IS AKNOWLEDING THAT YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!

I myself have this problem where I invalidate my own fears and insecurities because 'it could be worse' and 'I'm just being dramatic' and 'I should stop being such an attention seeker.'

Biphobia, especially the internalized kind, is VERY real.

NO, dating someone does not suddenly alter your sexuality. If you are a masculine-identifying individual dating a man, but previously identified as bisexual, you are still bisexual during the relationship too!

People will sometimes unknowingly invalidate bisexuality because they do not understand this. If you are an ally or hope to become one, please do some basic research before making assuptions.

I've found that reading books and articles that include bisexual representation are helpful when you feel particularly alone and when you are questioning yourself.

By the way, Bisexuality does not always mean that you only like male and female individuals! If you scroll down, there's more info on that in the article link titled 'bisexual vs pansexual.'

If you ignored everything else on this post, then pay attention here.

This is a helpful list of hotlines for queer and questioning individuals.

Ok sorry I got off topic. If you want to start with the basics, then maybe figure out what bisexuality is first?

What is bisexual? and What does it mean to be bisexual?

This next site is a wonderful place to look if you want more information on sexuality.

minus18.org These are usually more direct and a bit shorter than other articles.

Some articles from this site about bisexuality are:

Busting 7 myths about being bisexual and Bisexual vs. Pansexual

I think I might be bisexual (a colorful pdf complete with pictures.)

This one includes info on sex, safe sex, and healthy relationships. Those are things that I am not not at all knowledgeable about, so you'll just have to read the pretty article.

Am I bisexual? 9 signs you might be.

You don't have to be romantically attracted to someone to want a relationship! If you are not aware of the term queer-platonic relationship, a quick google search should clear it up pretty well.

Wanting a lifelong relationship is understandable, even if you identify on the ace/aro spectrum. These pictures sum it up pretty well.

This is an article from abc news about some queer-platonic relationships

This one is in first person : )

This is also in first person, I like this one the best.

Wait! What if you previously thought you were straight but now you have a crush on someone of the same gender?

You identify as straight but now have a crush on a girl and Woe is me! (That title is so funny to me.)

WikiHow!! Our savior and salvation. Yeah, sometimes I just give up and and look through these kinds of articles, because to be honest, they are pretty helpful. (Also the others can get really long.) Pictures too! It's a miracle!

How to tell your parents you are bisexual and How to tell your mom you are bisexual.

Because if you have a good relationship with your parents, then keep it!

Mental health and lgbtq

If you want to know a person's sexuality/pronouns/ learn more about their orientation, maybe just ask?

Seriously. Try ASKING.

Coming out. How terrifying. We're gonna need some links for that!

Coming out (For teens.) and Coming out to your parents

This one is a 44 page pdf of a coming out guide.

People erase my existence.

Being an ally! Allies are great! Allies are friends!

If someone comes out to you and Being an Ally to lgbtq people.

SCIENTIFIC QUEST TO PROVE BISEXUALITY EXISTS

How to express my sexuality. (I'm just gonna leave the google search here.)

Can you realize your sexuality at an older age? (yes.)

Myth of realizing you're queer 'too late' in life.

Oh look at that, I did not read this article, but I think it's got the jist of it.

You may also have my google search.

And another pdf: A closer look bisexual transgender people.

I gave up on reading it, tell if it's trash and if I should delete it please?

BI PRIDE STUFF!!!!

(Brought to you by amazon because that place is magic.)

There's socks and earrings and shirts and flags and stickers and pins and underwear and EVERYTHING.

And last but never least, if you're not a reader, here is an animated video! It's great if you're like me and your attention span likes to turn off randomly.

youtube

Wow, my brain walked away halfway through that, I hope someone finds it helpful. The amount of links I had open just now was stressing me out.

Anyway.

HAPPY BI PRIDE!!!!

(week)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go pass out. : ) Good night.

#bisexual #pride #lgbt pride #bisexual week #Youtube #tawny post

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