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#something that is so hard to balance
mrfoox · 11 days ago
'so what would you like to do (as work)? If you could get to do anything, without anything holding you back?'
Me, sweating bc I haven't dreamt of a job since I was 7 and wanted to be a dentist: haha
#miranda talking shit#My therapist really is trying but honey... I havent decided if i want to be alive yet....#'uh... Nothing ... My solve reason id ever work would be from guilt and necessity. I have nothing id want to do. I dont WANT to finish#High school but it is basically an requirement for any low paying job here so its basically a given... I myself have no want or drive to#Work or study (: (i can barely force myself to do things i enjoy and struggle greatly with basic things like food exercise and balance irl)'#First time ive ever admitted i dont actually WANT to do anything lmao... Every offical person and even my mom i just say i guess i want to#Finish high school.... Just so they get some answer and think a little more of me lol#The older i get the more honest im becoming and the more depressing my existence is....#'miranda you have on paper by doctors that you are depressed and too sick to work and is allowed to be home . Its not something you should#Be ashamed for. Youre not doing anything wrong its just how it is right now. You have the right to do that ' haha... Ok but we both know im#Hogging tax payers money and should have been eliminated long ago but okay haha#Mentioned like... Another type of therapy where one goes out to do things they want to do and then will be able to get energy to do things#They dont want to do (chores etc etc) and im like... Uh... Ok but i feel too guilty to even play video games which is my hobby and when i do#I kinda just feel guilty instead of enjoying it uh... But ...... Uh.... Yeah#Everything just tires me. Like the idea of some kind of work or even just events to go out of the house just sounds exhausting#Like that would be like the school environment which i have always struggled with! Even if school had no grades and was all just a place kid#Went to hang out I'd not want to go. Id be uncomfortable and still feel like shit. Less like shit but still shit?#And its hard to explain to people bc theyre like ah yes you struggle with the expectations set on you only i see#Like naw dawg i have to perform socially and be in an uncomfortable environment for 6+ hours and have to be on guard every minute#Among 95% of people i dont like or want to be around AND THEN forced to work and concentrate and shit#The situation in itself is just . .. Awful. I never did great in school but i still passed with at least E-D in all subjects... And that#I did without like... Doing any research or homework one need to 'study' for... Because i tried it for one period and none of my teachers#Seemed to notice it and i didn't do better so like... Why spend 90% more of your mental energy if the end results is still the same as when#You just swing it? Im not smart and im sure i could 'do better' and manage something if i actually wanted to do it or someone helped me#But like that ship has sailed. I got way off track and lost my point but uh i just ... Hate the social aspect of school and since our sociey#Is mostly built in that way unless you work at some small business or such its uh... I cant see myself ever enjoying working...#Negative
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the only bad thing about being a lesbian i think is that my gf is literally so good that im being forced to confront the fact that i AM in fact the problem in all my relationships
#its not me rather its the tremendous emotional baggage i drag around but it is attached to me#i literally dont have any external problems bc shes so good at being a loving nice person that all i have left to work on is stuff inside me#which is amazing dont get me wrong this is a humble brag about having the best support system on earth#state of the art life support systems want what i have. nothing will ever support a person as hard as my wife supports me#but also i do actually have to go to therapy now#i think it should be obvious that ive been lying when ive been like ohh ill go to therapy when i have the means to do so#but now i actually have to go both bc i want to be healthy and better but also bc she asked me to#before anyone asks yes i would jump off a cliff for her that should be obvious#id do worse stuff for free so obvi i would do whatever for her#also obvi but i really do need to go to therapy#theres just a lot of stuff i can never bring up because i dont want to be hospitalized or arrested#which incidentally is the stuff i should be unpacking with a professional#but i know whats wrong with me i just need like. mood stabilizers and coping mechanisms#i say as if i would take mood stabilizers#dont get me wrong theyre really good for people who need them but theyre hard to balance and i know id fuck up and eat something that#interracted with them in a bad way#i should go to therapy for my stress/anxiety/ocd shit though that would absolutely help#not to be mean but i have 2 degrees in saying that i think theres only some things that therapists/psychs are qualified to help you with#dbt for my stress and obsessive hand washing exacerbated by the pandemic they can handle#my thoughts about [redacted]? literally only my bestie and some of you guys can handle that#also i would be forcibly hospitalized for saying that to a professional#also like no one is qualified to deal with those kind of thoughts lol
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mangobubbletea7 · a month ago
I find it weird that it seems like most people in the fandom agree that we miss having more improv lore even though we do appreciate the more structured scripted lore as well, but then I see some people calling L’sandburg filler just because Wilbur isn’t writing it. L’sandburg is a perfect example of fully improv lore and while it doesn’t have to be treated with 100% narrative weight, it’s still Foolish and BBH’s right to improv their own lore if they want. Even if Wilbur’s back writing, he’s still not the main writer for every plot (Ponk and Puffy have both been working on their own solo lore for months for example.) IDK I just think it’s really weird that so many people agree they miss having fully improv lore included, but then some just look at the L’sandburg plot and assume it doesn’t matter so they just disregard it completely? It can be a fun side story, which is what I think of it as, and still not be filler.
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southfarthing · a month ago
sad how it's usually only muslims who speak out when muslims are suffering or being oppressed. the absolute silence from my non-muslim friends – who are usually very loud about any other human rights violations – when it comes to the oppression of the palestinians and the uyghurs and the muslims in india and many, many more. the silence of loud defenders of women's rights when it comes to hijab bans that are nothing more than blatant anti-muslim discrimination. and it's not an "oh but they're so far away – it's easier to sympathise with people close by or who are similar to me" issue: i remember feeling the exact same when it was only my muslim friends who seemed outraged at the terrorist attack in christchurch (everyone else seemed more interested in that egg kid...).
don't really know where I'm going with this but it would be nice to be seen as equal. as human as everyone else and as deserving of basic rights and respect.
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trelleon · 3 months ago
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idk how to fukdodnnwkajna. reply to posts from a sideblog but this is the funniest response i’ve ever gottenajksbsjajjajanshajankakana. the idea that i jack off to purity culture because i made that travis post is so funny
like..yes i have considered that he’s neurodivergent. yes i still think he was being a dick.
i also really like the implication that i think grown men with children DONT struggle sometimes.
#when you respond to valid criticism with “but shouldn’t you take his adhd into account’ aren’t you inherently saying that you disagree with#the criticism because you think his adhd excuses his actions#even at least somewhat?#it’s genuinely so insulting. and infantilizing. to continue treating adults like toddlers just because they have adhd#saying things like ‘oh#he just has a hard time understanding#because he has mental issues’#how is that... supporting neurodivergent communities in any way?#you’re treating them like children who don’t know better. and tbh via Healthy Parenting not even children should be treated that way#here’s something cringe about myself: i listened to mcelroy podcasts and i loved them. i can think of few other things that made me#laugh harder than taz balance and that one half life monster factory episode#i thought whatever small#minor mistakes travis made back then could be overlooked simply because he was very open witt his mental health struggles and he seemed to#genuinely want to defend marginalized communities#but he kept repeating mistakes and he kept.. virtue signaling. saying some ‘woke’ buzzwords to seem hip and with the left#instead of doing what was due#which was preventing those same mistakes instead of ‘showing how good of a little activist you are on twitter’ for likes and retweets.#when you make the same mistake a handful of times sure. a relapse. when it’s consist#consistent#without any sign of change? you’re not learning anything#and this is because he has adhd?? do you even know what adhd is?#it’s also very funny that someone thinks i’m into purity culture#since like 60% of the posts on this blog would get me cancelled on woke twitter
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primatechnosynthpop · 3 months ago
I know a couple days ago I said I wasn't gonna do a bunch of drawings about this au but alas I continue to be plagued with visions (click for quality)
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[ID: a four-panel comic featuring the tres horny boys, redrawn from a youtube video.
Panel 1: Magnus, looking guilty, says "This is all my fault... I'm sorry I planted that tree, guys. I led us astray."
Panel 2: Taako says "It's okay, Magnus, we're all sinners. But we've learned our lesson today."
Panel 3: Merle says, "Yeah. Don't plant trees!"
Panel 4: a wide shot of the three of them. Taako and Magnus have their hands on their hips and are saying "Merrrle..." in unison while looking down at him. "*sitcom laugh track*" is written at the top of the panel. End ID]
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weedle-testaburger · 3 months ago
phrases I say constantly that no other human probably has: 'damnit, mabel fell over and knocked chaos 2 off my desk again'
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alltheart2000 · 3 months ago
I’m gonna use a really stupid metaphor or whatever it’s called to say something unrelated to explain something else. I know like two people are gonna see this but I have thoughts and so here they are.
So if a cake looks like- let’s say an apple(cuz you know those super realistic sculpture cakes) and you think it’s an apple but then you cut it and find out it’s a cake are you gonna get mad at it for looking like an apple?
Like I want someone to fight me! I may look like an apple but I’m an cake I assure you. Now the metaphor kinda falls apart here but I’m still serious. You’re not gonna keep calling the cake an apple once you realize so like- if it’s that easy to stop mislabeling a cake how about you use some of that brain power to stop mislabeling people?
Look I don’t care if people accidentally mislabel me. ACCIDENTS happen I know. Quit whining and blubbering over it though. You’re the one making a big deal out of it. I’ve accidentally misgendered cis people before because I just talk fast. It’s not a big freaking deal. Whenever someone gets whiny about having trouble referring to me properly it makes me afraid they are going to stop trying. Because that seems to be what whiny people do.
You are so god damned capable of referring to me correctly and if you’re busy saying it’s “hard” then you just don’t care enough. You have so much fucking brain power that you can learn new routes to drive and can cook and play dumb phone games. You could learn a new language if you wanted. Quit making excuses! Yeah learning new things can be hard but if I abandoned my car every time I came to a speed bump I wouldn’t have a car anymore... you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill because you want to say you can’t climb but we’re both staring down at the little pile of dirt you won’t step over.
I get that looking at someone society has told you is a girl and saying he can be difficult. I get that calling someone by other pronouns when your brain provides a binary one automatically can be weird. But so is driving a car for the first time. Or eating weird new foods that you didn’t grow up with. Just because you grew up riding in the passenger seat of your moms car doesn’t mean you can make her drive you your whole life. We learn things everyday, so just because something poses a challenge doesn’t mean you can’t do it and it sure as shit isn’t an excuse not to.
Society is dumb.
Don’t be whiny just tell me what you really think.
Also if you don’t care enough to use your brain to refer to me correctly, I don’t care enough to use mine to talk to you.
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