#something had to happen in between change my mind

[planetaryupscaled]

Disenchanted 5: Second Chance

Male Reader x Karina

Tags: 9k, anal, creampie, dp, oral, threesome

The story is not ours, we alternate the original story to match our desired settings.

Over the following days leading up to my “marriage counselling session” as I would like to put it much to Karina’s disdain, my feelings on the matter slowly turned from quiet apprehension to anxiety.

Throughout the past couple of months, sneaking around like a bunch of teenagers was such a turn on. The impromptu meet ups and rash actions, down to what went down with Hajoon and Yeonjun, all of it was as a whole, extremely satisfying. My affair with Karina was a rush of fresh air, the fact that I had been fantasizing about her for all these years only for everything between us to come to fruition almost felt like fate.

With Jaewook not knowing a thing while their marriage fell apart never really pulling on my heart strings, till now. He was bound to find out, there was not a chance in hell that Karina and I could hide our chemistry at the best of times, let alone while fucking. It was something I tried to mentally prepare myself for, a task that Karina seemed to have resigned to fate. I could tell by the way she acted that week, her only focus was her kids, career and me.

Jaewook was well and truly out of the picture at this point, he was, how did she put it when describing Hajoon and Yeonjun? He was merely a prop to satisfy her new found desire to be filled simultaneously, to feel the pulse of multiple men release inside her over and over again. The night of the foursome unlocked a different side of her, unchained and willing to settle for nothing less but satisfaction, she was insatiable and I loved it. I would do anything for her, even sacrifice a poor man’s heart and pride if I had to.

—

I had a brief conversation the night before the meet up with Jaewook. It was for all intents and purposes, the most awkward conversation I have ever had.

“Hey... I suspect you have spoken to Karina?” Jaewook said, his voice was sombre, yet hopeful.

“I- yes...well- about that...” I started.

“Just- please...I...we...have run out of options,” Jaewook replied solemnly.

“I mean... do you really think this is a good idea?” I asked, hopeful he would reconsider.

It was a turn on for me to share Karina in this way, knowing I was the one who satisfied her to the fullest but there was something about doing this with her unsuspecting husband that made the whole ordeal wrong somehow.

“K- Karina and I have spoken about it, it was my idea, I’m thinking if we can get the spark back- perhaps...maybe...” he said.

“I don’t get it...there is no turning back after this,” I said.

My words were empty laced with a hefty dose of hypocrisy. There was no way back no matter what, I just did not want to get caught.

“It- it’s fine, it’s better than what we have now.” Jaewook replied almost defeated.

“I- ok...” I said caving in, knowing I was going to go through with it anyway.

“OK...good...say 6pm, I will send you the details.” Jaewook said with renewed optimism.

I nodded internally, putting down the phone with a sigh, it was really going to happen, this was actually going to go down.

—

The morning, my eyes shot right open, my body prepped but my mind was still cloudy. Karina kept telling me to let it go, just let it happen she said. We were like polar opposites at this point, almost like I was the one cheating on my other half. I smirked remembering her outrageous comment a few days before. She wanted me to save all my goodness for tonight.

Basically, a vow of celibacy or anything sexual to make my release inside her that much more pulsating as she put it. She really had changed over the past few weeks, coming out of her normally composed shell, demanding what she wanted when she wanted. I loved her for it, it was an extremely sexy trait. Off course I followed suit, making sure I was primed to seed the fuck out of her married pussy that night. My cock twitched just thinking about it, the guilt from the past few days slowly being replaced by a hunger, a lust for what was about to take place. Feeling my phone buzz beneath my pillow I swiped it open only to be greeted by a scantily clad Karina dressed in nothing but some tiny frill line under wear.

“You ready for tonight?” It read.

I replied with a cheeky wink before getting dressed and packing my things. The drive up to the woodlands would take just under two hours, miles away from civilization, it was the perfect setting to heal...or in our case...fuck our problems away. Karina had asked me to stay a couple of nights, with the option of a cabin room or a more adventurous tent setting, I had chosen the latter, not wanting to be near Jaewook for the meantime as much as I could help it. After about 45 minutes I was out of the city, the winding roads welcomed me like a snaking entrance to my truth, my darkest desires. It was calling me, my mind almost in a trance like state as I pictured how tonight would go down, how Jaewook would react, his facial expression as I penetrated his wife over and over again. How long would it take for the penny to drop that this was not our first time? That I had flooded Karina’s cunt with my sticky cum many times over to the point that she would leak from her slit moments afterwards, on occasion going back to him, to his arms. It filled me with trepidation, yet at the same time excitement, almost relief that our passionate affair would be fully in the open.

—

“Hey stranger...” Karina smiled as I pulled my car up at the cabin.

Jaewook was there waving his hand.

“No worries, we will all get time to get to know each other.” He said in jest.

His joke fell a little flat, eliciting a sharp jab from his Missus as I grinned awkwardly.

The cabin looked just like the ones you see in the films, dark brown decking surrounded by pine trees that lined the outskirts of the property. Despite its foreboding facade the inside of it was warm, a hearty fire was burning bright in the living room, with one of those thick tartan throws in front. I smiled inwardly at the setting, the wood burning fire, cozy looking sheets, it was a setting for one of those porn sets. Karina could read my mind, shaking her head comically as she hid her laughter from Jaewook.

“So... drink?” I said tentatively, setting my bags down by the foot of the door.

“Drink it is!” Jaewook replied, breaking the awkwardness, gesturing towards the kitchen.

“Karina, why don’t you show Minho his tent...Glamping I am told.” He said with a smile.

Pouring me a whiskey on the rocks, I took it straight down, giving me the much-needed kick for tonight’s events as I followed Karina out into the garden. It was more of a vast wooded space than a garden and my large tent was more like an outdoor wooden hut, its roof shaped in a horseshoe complete with working heating and a shower. This was definitely not camping, it was more like a posh outbuilding which overlooked the wooden cabin, having a perfect view of the balcony above.

“Thats...our room.” Karina said, tracking my eyes to the balcony.

The way she said our, making it sound like she was referring to me as she shot me smile before pulling me in for a deep kiss out of eyesight from the main cabin. Her lips tasted sweet, like she had just had a cocktail a few moments before. Laced in sugar, her tongue dove into my mouth, searching my oral cavity with her slickness as I sucked on her soft pink lips.

“Relax...” She said, pecking me on the cheek, leaving a lipstick mark smudged on my face.

I smirked, shrugging my shoulders before sighing.

“You sure you want to do this?” I asked tentatively.

Karina merely smiled, kissing me once more before squeezing my crotch firmly.

“Cum in me first...” she whispered, mirroring what she said to me moments before the sweaty foursome that kicked this all off.

She left leaving the door open, brushing her hair behind her ear as she stalked her way back to the cabin, the soft taps of her heels scrunching against the broken stone pathway. I sat down on the bed, the rustic looking accommodation giving off a strong nordic feel, like I was in the middle of Iceland. I had always wanted to go there, maybe after this Karina and I could go? I shook the daydream out of my head, hearing Jaewook call out to me from the back door of the cabin.

“Bud, everything ok?” He asked.

“Yeah... just- settling in.” I replied.

“Everything...check out, ok?” He asked warmly, popping into the room.

“It’s- perfect.” I replied, clasping my hand on his shoulder as I followed him back to the main house.

“Good- well...Karina and I were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner in a bit, I just need to pop to the shops to get a few supplies.” Jaewook said smiling.

His trust in me was astounding, leaving me alone with Karina knowing what I was here to do was either a masterstroke or a naive move. My thoughts were on the latter as I watched his car snake down the driveway and disappear out of view. Just on cue I turned around to see Karina, her pert rear sticking out slightly as she seductively removed her tight jeans, rolling them down her slender, toned legs, kicking them over to me as she disappeared into her bedroom.

“I need a refill...” Karina called out, shaking her wine glass at me.

We both knew that was not what she meant, she wanted to be filled in other ways as I entered the doorway and stared at her beautiful figure. The smoothness of her skin left me feeling weak at the knees, her bra already removed as the ravishing housewife sat with her back away from me looking back in anticipation.

“What will it be?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“The usual...” Karina replied seductively.

“I want to feel you cum inside me...” She whispered, biting her lips.

It was enough to set any man off as I unbuckled my jeans only to be met by her hands running along the length of my legs, tugging at my underwear, desperate to uncover her prize. My cock sprang to attention, narrowly missing her eye as I lowered my hands down towards her exposed breasts, massaging her soft mounds till her nipples stood at attention. Giving her perfect tits a firm squeeze, I rolled my eyes into the back of my head the moment she took me into her warm mouth. It was instant, my dick being deep throated inside Karina’s moist mouth. Her lips slurped at my shaft, sucking on my meat as she covered me in her silky saliva, covering me fully as my tip rested on her tongue, being teased by the suction coming from her full lips as I ran my hands through her hair. Gripping her head slightly, Karina tilted her face up at me, allowing me to fill her cheeks with cock as the mother of three sucked on my slick dick as sensually as the first time I had penetrated her mouth.

“You...eghmm...taste...mmphhh...so...mmm...fucking good.” Karina moaned against my length.

“Better than your husband? I asked with a cheeky look.

“Fuck my mouth...” Karina replied, as if to prove a point.

I rested the underside of my shaft on her slippery tongue while staring deeply into her brown puppy dog eyes before pumping my cock between her married lips. I watched in awe seeing my length swallowed up inside her wanting mouth, my tip excreting a few drops of precum on her tongue as I held Karina steady and fucked her mouth.

“Mmmphhhh...gluck...gluckk...gluckkk...” Karina hummed, taking my cock inside her luscious mouth over and over again, feeding on my dick.

“Fuck Karina...turn around...” I moaned through gritted teeth.

I slipped out her mouth with a delectable pop, all the saliva coating my length now dripping onto the wooden floor as Karina kicked off her nonexistent underwear which I picked up and held to my face, taking in a good breath of her moist sexual juices smothered on the bottom of her panties. She studied me with a knowing look on her face, hugging the white sheets as she lay on her front, lifting her leg for me ever so slightly.

I knew what she wanted and how she wanted it. The feeling of her brown eyes boring into my face signaling she wanted me inside her, deep and hard. I did not want to disappoint, pumping my cock a few times with my fist before spreading her slick labia with my fingers and spearing her married cunt with my twitching cock, stuffing her cunt with my thick meat. The feeling of filling her completely never got old, the hug of her pussy caressing my shaft as I thrust downwards and up into her love channel smashing my tip against her cervix. The force, rocked Karina, grimacing with a mixture of pain and pleasure as I punished her from behind, her slickness creaming all over my shaft as we mated like rabid animals. Sweat was pouring from my face and onto Karina’s perfect form, pooling in the small of her back where I pressed down, pushing her face into the pillows below, ramming as much of my cock into her tight cunt as humanly possible. The sounds of slapping flesh were permeated by grunts and wails, my balls crashing against her tight rear as I bent over, welcoming her tongue between my lips.

‘Mmmm...fuck...fuckk...deeper...deeper...please...pleaseee...ughhh...” Karina wailed, her face covered in perspiration as I cupped her breasts, pulling her to my chest.

She was basically kneeling upright, my thick cock still penetrating her precious pussy, stretching her gorgeous pink walls out as I fucked the shit out of her. Feeling her body gradually tense up, her ass was first, then the walls of her womb, followed by the trembling of her bronze thighs.

“shitttt...baby...babyy...right...there...” Karina moaned, gyrating her hips onto my groin as I bottomed out inside of her.

“Tell me what you want, SAY IT!” I grunted into her ear.

Grabbing a fistful of my hair, she breathlessly whispered into my mouth.

“In me- cum…inside me...” Karina said wearily.

“Louder!” I yelled into her neck.

“Fucking cum inside me! dump…your…cum…inside me!” Karina screamed in euphoria.

Her body trembled in my arms, stretching and spasming in my grasp as I tamed the her, gripping her hips as I rammed my cock deep inside her womb, erupting with ferocity.

“Karina- Fuck…” I moaned exasperated.

My weeks’ worth of cum came sprinting out the gates, peppering Karina’s married cunt as I continued to feed her tight pussy my salt spunk. She flicked her hips in time with my thrusts as I continued to pump my potent sperm right up inside her slit, jet washing her cervix with my sticky semen as she milked my shaft dry. It was a mess, her snatch was overflowing everywhere, being pushed out with each pump as I pulled her close, seeding her womb and painting her uterus with my cum.

“Ohhh god...I can feel it running inside of me...” Karina said with a smirk.

Our kiss was deep and fleeting, hearing the front door unlock and Jaewook place the shopping in the kitchen.

“Honey...” He called out.

“Shit” We both said in unison, Karina smirking cheekily at me.

Karina’s eyes shot open in fear, yet she still held me close, giving me one final rotation of her hips to suck out the final few drops of thick spunk from my spent cock. Slipping out of her thoroughly fucked cunt, I grabbed my clothes, slinging them in the corner as the remnants of our love affair dribbled onto the wooden floor, Karina’s grool sticking to my thighs as we disengaged.

“Shoot...” I said, scooping it up and tasting her slick sweetness before she ushered me behind the clothes rack.

Karina flipped off the light swiftly, managing to put on her bra, albeit lopsided, before turning away from the door just in time for Jaewook to knock.

“Babe…you in there?” He asked, easing the door open.

“Hey- you.” Karina said, rather flustered.

The room was rather dark, as the sun had gone down already but you could still pick out her features in the dim shadows. Jaewook sighed, almost expectantly, I could see his head move up and down slowly surveying his scantily clad wife.

“Where’s Minho?” He asked, closing the gap.

“He went for a walk.” Karina replied convincingly, skirting away from Jaewook’s outstretched hand.

“I... have to prep dinner.” She followed up, trying to work her way around towards her jeans sprawled on the floor.

There was a strange tension in the room as I held my breath steady, trying my best to remain silent. It was clear to see observing the couple this close that something was not right at all. Karina almost seemed as if she did not want to be touched by Jaewook who in turn kept pursuing her for some semblance of closeness. It was an endless cycle that I knew only had one outcome.

“Karina...wait.” Jaewook said, wrapping his arms around her slim waist.

They were right in front of me, my face hidden only by a row of coat jackets and a few shift dresses. I could still smell Karina’s perfume on her hanging clothes, sweet on the senses assaulted by the powerful smell of her sticky sexual juices still smeared on my legs, I loved it.

“Jaewook wait, Minho might come back any time now.” Karina said reluctantly.

“Pfft...I mean we are all going to go through with this, what’s the harm in... starting a little early?” Jaewook replied.

I could see the outline of his hands roam her chest, unclasping her bra and letting it fall to the floor. Almost as if taking the path of least resistance Karina shrugged off his hands.

“Just- make it quick...” She said, peering at me behind the clothes rack.

Even through the darkness, I could tell her face was more apologetic rather than anything else, as if she was ashamed to be doing this right in front of me.

“Karina...I...have...missed...you...so...much,” Jaewook said, his breaths getting shallower as I heard his zipper go down.

There was a slight pause as he held her close, spreading her legs shoulder width apart and easing Karina over. Just like the first time I witnessed them two fucking, it was doggie style, his preferred choice of penetration it seemed. Moving one of the coats ever so slightly, I peered through the darkness, Karina catching the glint in my eye off the moonlight streaming through the window. She took a deep intake of breath as I saw her facial expression change from uncomfortable to a hint of pleasure. Jaewook gently pushed forward, spearing his wife’s cunt in one motion, bottoming out in her slick, tight pussy.

“God...you are so wet...” Jaewook said, almost pleased with himself.

“I- uhhh...came...prepared,” She shot back almost immediately.

It was a sordid sight, seeing the woman that I loved being fucked by her husband, each pump of his cock causing my pre discharged spunk to flow so effortlessly out of her. The squelching sounds of his meat irrigating Karina’s sex of my seed as he filled her precious womb was oddly, a massive turn on. I could feel my member start to grow, unconsciously dropping my hand to rub my tip.

“Jaewook- hurry...ughhh.” Karina moaned unconvincingly.

He picked up the pace, the sounds of his hips smashing off her ass now all you could hear, drowning out his grunts of pleasure as he pumped his wife. Karina was rather unbalanced, rocking back and forth as she fell backwards on top of him.

“Wait, wait, just…just lie back...let me...” She said, her breathing a little ragged.

“God baby, it’s been too long... fucking ride me.” He said, lying on the bed with outstretched arms.

Karina pushed her ass out, sitting on his lap, rotating her hips and looking directly at the clothes rail. Gaining a bit of confidence, I stepped out slightly uncovering my cock through the fabric so that she could see what I was doing. We locked eyes as Karina rode her husband in reverse cowgirl now, straddling his lap and flicking her hips.

“Ughhhh...ughhh...just...like that...” Karina moaned.

I watched as Jaewook grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him, stuffing more of his cock into her primed and well fucked pussy. Taking the opportunity with Jaewook being distracted, I grabbed Karina’s soaked underwear from the floor, wrapping it around my stiff cock and jerking methodically. Rocking my head back I could feel Karina watching me, her moans were getting loader as I could tell Jaewook was rubbing hard up against her cervix. Staring at each other again, I picked up the pace which she duly followed, riding her husband wildly, fucking more meat into her tight cunt.

The sight of her getting railed was hitting the right buttons, my balls starting to churn as I felt my cum travel up my shaft and shoot from my tip. I was quick enough to catch every drop inside her soft silky underwear, continuing to milk my dick of my essence while watching Karina approach her crescendo.

“Ughhhh...I’m- I’m...cuming...shitt...ughhhh.” Karina wailed, her arms outstretched towards me.

Jaewook was bucking his hips, pumping his straining cock into his wife. His hands gripping her hips as he reached the point of no return.

“Karina...baby...take it, fucking...take...it...” Jaewook groaned, taking all his frustration out on forcing more of his cum deep inside her womb.

He was still cumming inside her when I stepped forward, pouring my cum down Karina’s open mouth, pooling on her lips as she swallowed my load sensually, taking my fingers with it as I stuffed her drenched underwear into her mouth. Karina and I locked eyes once more, her hands spearing out to my crotch, giving my spent cock a few pumps before tasting my semen on her fingertips. I knew this was the beginning of a long night, seeing her motion towards the door while still flicking her hips and milking her husband. Ducking low and grabbing my clothes, I slipped silently out the room, making my way to the cabin to clean up.

I had no idea how long I had been in the shower afterwards by the time Karina came knocking on my door. She wore a sheepish smile on her face as I opened the door, only to be greeted by Karina in the tightest little outfit I had ever seen her in. Dressed in a white miniskirt and some sort of crop top bra, she kissed me on the cheek, slapping my balls, before giving me a cheeky little dance routine.

“Dinner in five, wear something- comfortable.” She said, winking at me before returning to the house.

I was in utter shock, this evening had been crazy already, in some ways more outrageous that the night with Yeonjun and Hajoon. This was with her husband... and he seemed to be all for it. Walking through the backdoor, Jaewook greeted me immediately with a beer.

“Hey man, thanks for... going for that walk earlier, me and Karina had time to reconnect...” He said with a sly smile.

“What are you guys talking about?” Karina said, as she popped open a bottle of wine.

“Nothing… just about our little warm up earlier,” He said, jovially.

Jaewook’s mood had taken a turn for the better, buoyed by his little fuck session with Karina earlier. Unbeknownst to him, I had already... how do we say it... pumped and dumped a weeks’ worth of my pent-up seed deep inside her marital cunt. There was probably a good chance that a few of my soldiers were swimming around in her womb right now.

“Well- practice makes perfect.” Karina, shot back in jest.

“Well...I think you enjoyed yourself babe.” Jaewook said with confidence.

‘Jaewook? seriously? time and place.” Karina replied, her cheeks going red as we caught each other’s glance’s.

“This looks amazing Karina.” I said, changing the subject.

The table was all laid out, a full-on roast, a bit heavy I thought given what we were about to do. Saying that however we would need a lot of energy so maybe it was the correct decision. It was a strange atmosphere at first, the awkwardness was palpable will we got to the second bottle of wine.

“So, Minho- are you...excited about later?” He asked raising his eyebrows.

“Who said anything about later, now is as good as any.?” I replied, winking over at Karina as I took another sip of beer.

“Easy, can’t have you throwing up all this well-prepared food.” Jaewook said laughing.

The banter continued throughout the night, both Karina and I eye fucking each other whenever Jaewook looked away. It was getting harder and hard to hide our chemistry as I offered to do the dishes, brushing Karina’s hands as I picked up the dirty plates. The look she gave me almost made me pin her tight frame against the kitchen table and rail her right there. We both knew she would have let me, irrespective of Jaewook being there or not.

“Ehh leave it in the sink.” Jaewook said, a slight slur in his words.

“Yes...lets...crack open another bottle in the living room.” Karina said, squeezing my hands discretely as she passed by.

The small gesture brought a smile to my face as I followed the couple to the living room, complete with a brightly lit fire and tartan rug on the floor. I remembered my first though of the setting, like a porn set.

“All we need is a camera.” I blurted out.

Karina looked at me shocked, her expression was priceless as she slapped my arm rather firmly.

“Ha…I love the way you think.” Jaewook replied, finishing off his drink.

“What do you say babe?” He followed up, kissing Karina on the cheek and pulling her close.

“I- don’t think… no, not tonight.” She said, slightly embarrassed and taking a seat on the far side of the couch.

Jaewook looked at me rather disappointed to which I just ushered my hands down signaling him to drop it. Karina gave me an appreciative smile as Jaewook sat down next to her leaving the single leather-bound seat next to the fireplace for me. From this angle, I could see all the way up Karina’s bronze leg, my gaze practically eye fucking her next to her husband which did not go unnoticed.

“So... here we are...” Jaewook said rather suggestively, grazing his hand on Karina’s knee.

“Do...you like him watching babe?” He followed up, taking another sip of his beer and drifting his hand ever so slowly up her smooth thighs.

“Mmm...hmmm.” Karina sighed never leaving my gaze as I felt a tug in my trousers.

This was it, the moment we had been working up towards, for the past week or so. Jaewook’s eyes were filled with lust as he leant over, kissing Karina along her nape, his tongue extending, licking her down her chest, freeing her left breast from her top. I could feel the tension in the room slowly dissipate, replaced my sexual energy emanating from all three of us. Studying every contour of her face, she closed her eyes, rolling her head back the moment Jaewook made contact with her sex, his fingers audibly penetrating her labia as I heard the slickness of her cunt squelch with each thrust of his forearm. Watching Karina, mouth agape, staring back at me while Jaewook sensually fingered her was one which would stay with me forever.

“Ughhhh...” Karina moaned gently as Jaewook pleasured her cunt.

“You see Minho...she isn’t as intimidating as you thought.” Jaewook said softly, increasing the thrusts of his fingers.

Karina had her legs wide open at this point, giving me a perfect view of her husband inserting another two fingers into her perfectly slick pussy, the way her lips hugged his probing digits were complimented perfectly by her soft moans and gyrating hips. I felt my cock stir in my pants again, unzipping my trousers to comfort my straining cock, eager to get in on the action.

“Looks like our guest is almost ready...” Jaewook said, his voice in a sex fueled trance.

“Lie down for me...” He said, kissing Karina on the neck and feeding her his fingers.

Lost in a drunk lustful haze, Karina lay down, spreading her legs for him as Jaewook positioned himself between her toned thighs. Her head rested on the couch armrest, face turned towards me extending her tongue in my direction. With one swift thrust, Jaewook had fucked his cock right up to the hilt, causing the couch to creak under the force.

“Ughhhhh...” Karina moaned; her eyes fixated on my raging cock as I pumped myself to the sordid view in front of me.

“Fuck… you feel so good baby...” Jaewook moaned, grabbing her by the hips and railing his dick deep inside her womanly cavern.

Each thrust of his cock bringing about a sharp groan from Karina who had now reached out a hand towards me beckoning me to come closer.

“It’s OK bro... come...have a try...” Jaewook said, pumping his cock into Karina once more.

Taking one last swig of my beer I kicked off my trousers and walked over to Karina’s face. Her head was overhanging on the armrest, perfect for what I had planned. It was almost as if she had read my mind, pulling me in close for a deep kiss before whispering in my ear.

“Cum down my throat...” She said, licking me up my cheek as I positioned her upside-down, head between my legs.

Jaewook saw this little interaction but it did not affect him in the way I thought it would. I was sure he must have known there was something going on with Karina and I by how comfortable we were in each other’s company, the countless stares across the room must have been seen by him at least once. Now a passionate kiss while he was balls deep inside her would be the final straw. Never the less, it seemed to spur him on, egg him forward as he intensified his pumps into Karina, fucking her cunt with reckless abandon.

“Minho...do...it...fuck...my wife’s mouth...” He groaned through gritted teeth.

Karina’s eyes were wide and longing, her breasts bouncing up awkwardly with each full force fuck from her husband’s. Reaching up between my thighs she wrapped her tiny hands around my base and began to jerk. Her thumb running circles along my slit whilst her other hand squeezed hard on my balls as I positioned my tip at the entrance of her mouth. It was such a sexy scene, seeing Jaewook thrust his meat all the way up Karina’s tight cunt while her face lay upside down between my legs, mouth at my mercy. Not taking a moment to process anything I pumped my hips forward, stuffing her mouth full of my cock till my tip reached her tonsils.

“mmpphhh...gluck...gluck...gluckk.”

Spit was pooling at the side of Karina’s mouth, her lips wrapped firmly around my shaft as both Jaewook and I pumped her from both ends, ravaging her pussy and oral cavity all at once. It was savage the way we pleasured ourselves without a thought for her comfort, lost in a world of our own as he railed her tight body relentlessly. Grabbing both of her breasts, I squeezed down hard on her nipples making Karina moan around my meat as Jaewook gripped her hips even tighter, eager to stuff her cunt with as much of his cock as he could. The feeling of Karina’s tongue lapping up my precum dribbling into her mouth was euphoric, her lips providing just the right amount of suction as I skull fucked the housewife on the sofa. I groaned at her touch as she popped me out of her mouth and allowed me to teabag her. Taking each of my orbs between her lips, then both at the same time, while jacking my slippery cock covered in her warm saliva as I continued to knead her perfect tits. Looking up, Jaewook was close, it was strange as Karina had always requested me to cum in her first. It was like we were thinking the same thing as I looked down and saw her eyes pleading with mine, knowing her husband was close she popped me back in her mouth and began to suck me with ferocity.

“Fuckk...karina...suck...me...” I moaned, gripping her face and fucking my meat deep into her throat.

She was gagging but did not care, eager for me to win the race to spill inside her first. Karina was good, her tongue finding a rhythm with my penetrative strokes as I pumped her throat, she sucked my tip on exit making my balls churn hard. I could feel I was there, running my fingers through her hair once more I fucked her face deep into the armrest with a loud thud. My cock exploded between her lips as a torrent of cum flooded her mouth, Karina’s lips remained pursed, sealing my seed inside her oral chamber as I continued to pump her throat full of my warm sticky sperm. The whole sight must have triggered Jaewook, seeing me pulse down his wife’s throat with ferocity he thrust his cock as far as he could into her tight cunt unleashing his load inside her twitching womb.

“Fuckk...babee...” Jaewook growled, his cock spasming with each subsequent follow through as Karina rubbed furiously at her clit.

We were filling her up at both ends, pumping our seed deep inside her pussy and mouth at the same time as she writhed in pleasure. Bending over her face I took her pert and sweaty nipples between my lips and began to suck, rubbing at her throbbing clit as Jaewook continued to thrust his cock inside his wife. My member was still between her lips as Karina continued to keep my cock as a prisoner within her mouth, not stopping for a moment in sucking me bone dry, she wanted to get me hard again. I could hear her swallowing with each suck of her lips, taking down my sperm into her stomach as I felt her thighs start to tense.

“Ughhhh...fuckk...minho...minho...fuckkk...baby...” She moaned as I attacked her clit with my fingers.

I looked up between sucks of her tits, seeing Jaewook withdraw his spent cock from her cunt as I felt Karina suck down hard on my cock once more, her tongue working wonders around my meat, bringing it back to life as she climaxed hard around my fingers. Fucking her with my digits with deep strokes, I basically scooped Jaewook’s cum out of her cunt as I fucked her face while rubbing deep inside her pussy, reaching her g-spot and applying pressure.

“Babeee...” She yelled, bucking her hips as she squeezed her legs shut around my hands, twitching in pleasure.

Her juices were all over my fingers, together with Jaewook’s essence which I fed into her waiting mouth. It must be the first time she had tasted his cum as his expression was priceless. By this time, I had already regained my hardness, slipping from her lips with a slurp. She looked at me and I knew what she wanted, kneeling up and extending her hands towards me. Picking the sexy ass up I guided her to the nearby wall, her hands on my shaft, jerking it. With a look of lust Karina looked at me and then nodded, raising her legs for me, before glancing at Jaewook.

Knowing what she wanted immediately I closed the gap, pushing my tip into her wanting sex with ease. Karina’s pussy juice and grool, together with Jaewook’s cum creating a thick film of lubricant for me to penetrate her aching cunt.

“Shit...you…fuck...me...good...” She whispered in my ear as she wrapped one of her legs around my waist.

My thrusting starting off slow, building in speed and power, I wanted to savor every moment inside her married pussy while Jaewook watched behind us. The pump of my hips slapping against her groin each time I fucked more cock inside his wife was such a thrill. Having Karina whisper sweet nothings in my ear knowing I was going to seed her cunt while her husband watch, turned her on to no avail.

“Cum in me while he watches...” She whispered repeatedly into my ear.

“Fill me up baby...just like that.” She followed up.

I picked up the pace, filling her womb with more of my cock as I smashed up against her cervix, my tip attacking, reaching maximum depth as I fucked her onto her tip toes. It was at that point I had an idea, picking Karina up and turning her around.

“Her ass Jaewook...fuck her ass...” I said breathlessly, pumping my dick deep inside her twitching pussy.

“What...umm...but...she does not...” Jaewook started.

“Fucking do it.” Karina snapped back.

He followed suit, grabbing her waist as I spread her ass cheeks for him. I could tell when he filled her anal cavity by the look on Karina’s face the moment she was stuffed by two cocks simultaneously.

“Fuckk...” Karina groaned into my mouth, wrapping her hands around my neck as her thighs tightened around my waist.

“Fuckkk Karina...your ass...it feels...feels...amazing.” Jaewook moaned, rolling his head back.

“Over there, Jaewook lean against the banister.” I said motioning to the stairs.

All three of us waddled over to the stairs as Jaewook leant back on the cool wooden railings. Karina knew what was coming as I pinned her back firmly onto Jaewook’s chest as he continued to irrigate her ass with cock. Kissing her deeply she bit my lip hard as I she held on tightly to my shoulders. Reaching forward I gripped the wooden rails either side of Karina’s and Jaewook’s head before ramming my cock hard and deep into her cunt. The force withdrew Jaewook’s cock from her ass, slipping out of her tight fuck hole before he recovered and reentered her asshole.

“Ohhhh...fuckkkk...ughhhhh...ughhhhh...” Karina screamed.

Her face was all scrunched up, a mixture of pleasure and pain as I fucked my cock deep inside her married pussy, her cervix taking a battering as my crown smashed repeatedly against her insides. The walls of her cunt no longer tight around my shaft, almost relaxed now, accepting defeat as I had my way with her, ramming my cok hard and deep into her wanting slit, stretching her pussy out while Jaewook thrusted up her tight ass.

It was a thing of beauty, perfect teamwork, all three of us working in unison, Karina accepting our meat, Jaewook and I fucked Karina with vigor as we pumped her full of cock. The noise of slapping flesh and groans rung out everywhere as I felt my balls churn once more. I could see Jaewook grimacing behind his wife as Karina moaned desperately in my ear.

“Minho...Minho...I’m close...fill me up...fucking...dump...it...in...baby...” She moaned in euphoria.

“fuckkk...minhoo...” She screamed, biting down hard and climaxing with two men filling her up.

I had no idea if he heard her say that, if he did, he did not care, too caught up in pumping his staining cock up inside Karina’s anal cavity to notice, his face now pent up, ready to unload.

“Karina...baby...I’m...I’m...coming.” I groaned, kissing her deeply as I thrust my cock deep inside her cunt one last time.

Bottoming out inside her womb I unleashed a flood of cum inside her pink folds, pumping my potent seed into her precious cunt. I could feel her pussy lips struggle to contain my load as I continued to pump her cunt full of my sperm, my sticky semen dripping down my thighs as I painted her pink walls white. All the gyrations set Jaewook off as I felt his hips jerk. He was dumping his load into her gaping ass while I fueled her cunt with my cum. Both of us unloading inside Karina in unison, jet washing her insides with our cums was as seedy as it got. Feeling her scratch at my back as she accepted both of our loads was perfect, her body twitching in my arms while I filled her womb to the brim while Jaewook filed her anally, injecting her with his sticky sperm.

The three of us stayed in this position for what seemed like forever before Karina slipped free of our grasp and dropped to her knees taking both mine and Jaewook’s cock’s between her lips. Seeing Karina suck on both of us, licked and drank up the remnants of both of our loads

“Take me upstairs...” Karina said, looking up at me while pumping my shaft in her right hand and her husband’s in her left.

Without saying a word Jaewook picked her up and carried her over his shoulders up the stairs. I watched, studying her rear and taking in the utter destruction of her lower half dripping with copious amounts of spunk and sex, smothered all over the back of her thighs and along her ass cheeks. It looked like Jaewook was in the best mood I had ever seen in a while as he turned to me at the top of the landing, waving for me come join them.

“Minho, get up here.” He bellowed enthusiastically down the stairs.

I ran up with a spring in my step anticipating the next steps on our messed-up fuck affair. As I entered, Jaewook already had Karina up against the wall, his face buried in-between her luscious legs as the sounds of his tongue working overtime on her freshly fucked cunt was all you could hear. He must have had my load smeared all over his face but it was too late, Jaewook was too far gone, lost in a mad lust fueled rage, eagerly sucking Karina to completion while she writhed against his face. Stepping forward I planted my lips on her mouth, tasting her tongue while we swapped spit. Moving behind her I lifted her right leg on top of Jaewook’s shoulder, giving him more access to explore her sex with his mouth. I wanted her ass and she knew this the moment she felt my tip brush her rosebud. Karina was still red raw from the anal fucking Jaewook had given her downstairs, his seed still leaked from her asshole as I ignored all notion of morals, resting my crown at her tightest entrance. Karina looked back at me, taking my lips between hers and biting down hard.

“Fuck me...” She whispered in my ear.

“Take me nice and deep…” She followed up, drinking down my spit as she pushed her ass back onto my lap, piercing her anal canal with my cock.

It felt tremendous, her tightness coupled with the softness of fucking Karina anally was immensely satisfying. Each pump of my hips spewing Jaewook’s load which rested deep inside her asshole to come flowing out, like a river of seed, dribbling purposely down her legs as I stuffed her ass full of my meat. The sounds of Jaewook slurping on his wife’s slit was getting louder, my thrusts deeper, stretching Karina out as she rolled her head back on my shoulder.

“Ohhh...aahhh...fuckkk...me...ughhh...suck...me...shitt…” She yelled, bucking her hips as her climax reached its peak.

Karina ground her hips hard onto Jaewook’s mouth, fucking his face with her cunt as I continued to rail into her rear from behind, feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm contract her anal cavity around my shaft, sucking on my slick cock in earnest, begging me to fill her void. I was close, so close, gripping Karina’s hips tightly as I fed her my meat, ramming my cock hard and deep into her asshole, fucking her raw.

“Baby…” Karina moaned, to which Jaewook released his face from her cunt lips only to be pushed back down by her wandering hands.

“Babe...” She moaned again.

I knew she was talking to me, I knew what she wanted as I doubled down and fucked her ass harder and deeper than before, bottoming out in her anal canal as I felt my spunk building. Karina tensed her walls up just in time, sucking my sperm out the tip as I coated her asshole in my sticky seed, pumping wave after wave of sperm into her bowels.

“Fuckk...karina...” I growled like passionately, feeding more of my seed up her tight married ass.

Like a man possessed, I lifted Karina off Jaewook’s face and dumped her face down on the bed, fucking my spasming cock deep inside her ass as we interlocked hands in the prone position. Grinding my hips into her rump, Karina pushed back softly, gagging to be filled up by my load as the last of my cum fired into her ass. I rolled over, absolutely knackered as Karina regained her breath slapping my arm, smiling at me seductively, sweat covering her face her hair all over the place.

I could feel Jaewook’s eyes on us, leering at Karina as he joined her on the other side, rubbing eagerly at her red raw rump while pointing his tip at her thick lips. Just like our time with Hajoon and Yeonjun, Karina was beyond caring about their fractious marriage, the only thing that mattered in this moment was fulfilling her deepest desires, to be filled repeatedly and fucked long and hard, like one massive mating ritual. She opened her mouth, accepting Jaewook’s cock between her lips and began to suck.

“Ohhhh...Karina...just...like...that...” He moaned, smiling over to me.

Running his fingers through her hair he forced her mouth deeper onto his length fucking right into her moist gullet as he fed his wife more of his meat. The slurps from Karina’s mouth were infectious, goading me on to filing her from the other side once more as I ran my finger up her moist labia, slipping my fingers deep into her cunt while she sucked her husband. Her nectar was all over my digits, translucent grool sticking to my palms as I penetrated her cunt over and over again, finding her g-spot once more and stroking her with rapid flicks of my finger.

“Yesshmmm...” Karina moaned, on Jaewook’s cock, feeling me invade her cunt with my fingers.

Gyrating her hips on my palms I looked up at Jaewook who had a grin on his face, savoring his wife’s lips wrapped around his shaft. I placed my spare hand on the back of her head, forcing her to take him into her throat as she looked at me alarmed, eyes watering.

“God you are a bad one Minho.” Jaewook said chuckling as Karina shot me the dirtiest look before sucking down hard on his cock once more.

“Let me cum down your throat baby.” He moaned, thrusting into Karina’s mouth with rapid pumps.

She shook her head, comically smiling at me around Jaewook’s meat.

“Uhhhh...uhhhhh.” Karina moaned, releasing Jaewook from her mouth and jacking his cock.

The look on his face was one of disappointment laced in a bit of jealousy as he looked at me, Karina massaging my sack with her fingers.

“But...you let him unload in your mouth, I’m your husband...” Jaewook said, his voice showing a growing tone of annoyance.

Karina shot me a look of concern at the abrupt turn of events before I chirped in quickly.

“Mate I probably put her off with my taste, besides I basically had her pinned down at the time.” I said laughing awkwardly.

“I guess...” He replied, distracted by Karina pressing his slit with her thumb.

I looked at Karina slightly relieved, with danger averted for now, she took it in turns blowing Jaewook and I while frigging her sopping wet sex.

“God Karina you suck me so good.” I groaned, fucking her face gently with my cock.

“She sure knows what she’s doing.” Jaewook said breathlessly.

“Mmmmm.” Karina replied spreading her warm spittle along my length while pleasuring me with her lips.

“Dance for us...” Jaewook said, suddenly, taking a step back and sitting on the foot of the bed.

Giving me one last, long suck, Karina took me into the back of her throat, nibbling at my crown on exit before slipping me out of her warm mouth and standing up. Karina had something about her tonight, a hunger that grew as the night went on, right now she looked insatiable, her lips pursed as she swayed her body in a trance like slither, swaying to the music playing in her head.

Jaewook and I gave our full attention as Karina gyrated in front of us, reaching out with both bands and jerking slowly at our erect cocks, straining to be inside her once more. Glancing over at Jaewook, he wore the same face that I saw when Karina was riding him earlier tonight, a lustful anger that I could not explain. Partially due to the frustration he faced when doing anything he wanted with Karina physically that was, always rebuffed in some way or another. With me she was as free as a bird, allowing me to take her any which way I pleased, in her mouth, pussy or ass, I was spoilt always for choice.

“Karina baby, do me like you did earlier...” Jaewook said subtly.

She glanced over at me smiling, which I returned in kind, remembering the semen soaked panties I stuffed in her mouth while she climaxed on her husband’s spurting cock a few hours ago. Turning around seductively, Karina gave us one final wink before lining herself up with Jaewook’s throbbing cock. In one fluid motion the sexy housewife opened her legs and dipped her body down upon her husband’s cock, impaling her slippery cunt on his meat till she bottomed out.

“Ohhh...god...” Karina mewed, feeling Jaewook fill her unfaithful pussy.

I had lost count on how many times she had been seeded, how many times I had dumped my cum deep inside her married pussy, fired into her uterus and pumped into her cunt. Just seeing her with Jaewook knowing I was the one she wanted drove me insane. Their position was different from earlier with Karina leaning back placing her hands on Jaewook’s chest. His palms supporting her weight, gripping Karina tightly by the waist as he pumped his dick right up into her tight cunt.

“Fuck baby you feel better than ever...” Jaewook growled, ramming his cock deep inside his wife.

The slap of his balls against her slit really got me going as I planted on long kiss on her mouth, tasting her spit between my lips. Stalking her like a tiger, I walked over till I was between her legs, watching Jaewook penetrate her perfect pussy over and over again. The smell of sex and fresh grool was in the air along with cums oozing out of Karina’s ass crack and cunt. Looking at her seductively, she knew she was about to get well and truly fucked, my tip grazing her throbbing clit as I fisted my cock head a few times to get myself nice and hard.

“You ever taken two cock inside your pussy at the same time Karina?” I asked in a sinister tone.

Her eyes shot wide open, mouth unable to protest as Jaewook continued pumping her cunt with his meat, gripping her waist and thrusting as far as he could go within her pink walls. I kissed her once more, squeezing down hard on her breasts as I lined myself up with her slit, Jaewook still fucking her nice and deep. Without a moment’s hesitation I pushed forward, feeling the walls of Karina stretch out, my cock was sliding up against Jaewook, a surreal sensation no doubt. In the cold light of day, I would never even contemplate it, but looking at Karina, in this moment, I wanted to fill her out, stretch her cunt as much as possible, stuff her with as much meat as she could take.

“Aawww...ahhhhh...godd...ughhhhhhh” Karina grimaced as I pushed halfway in.

Jaewook gripped her even tighter, figuring out he was not the only one inside her pussy right now as I also invaded her space, deciding to bury his cock right up inside her womb as we jostled for position. It was a tight squeeze, I could see her labia engulfing mine and Jaewook’s cock’s, we were splitting her cunt in half. With one final thrust I was in, balls deep. Both Jaewook and I resumed our pumping, smashing her cervix with the tips of our cock’s in unison as we filled her womb with our meat.

“Ughh...wait...Guys...UGHHHHH”. Karina screamed.

Her face was all screwed up, hands wavering under the increasing pressure of both Jaewook and I drilling her cunt mercilessly. The slaps of my balls against her red raw pussy now causing her to hyperventilate as I gripped her breasts and kissed her deep, forcing my tongue into her mouth and thrusting my meat deep inside her womb. Karina had now collapsed on top of Jaewook almost like a rag doll as we had our way with her. Every time he pumped more meat into her pussy I followed soon after, double stuffing her vagina, stretching her to the limit. Karina and I locked eyes in this moment, her face glazed over in lust as my palms massaged her abused clitoris while penetrating her depths.

“Cum for me...” I whispered into her ear, increasing the thrusts of my cock into her pussy as Jaewook doubled down on his pumps.

“UIghhhhh...ahhhhh...ohhh...shit...shittt...ahhhhh” Karina screamed.

Her legs were shaking, her pussy just taking the mass penetration. Feeling her walls finally contract around our shafts, she nearly passed out, shaking in pleasure as her cunt creamed all over our member’s, coating us both in her luscious nectar as I felt my balls pulse.

“Karina...Karina...keep...going...” I said gritting my teeth.

She pulled me close, gyrating her spasming cunt to take us both in.

“Knocked me the fuck up...” She whispered.

It was all I needed to hear, thrusting my cock deep inside her walls as I bottomed out against her battered cervix, my cock exploding inside her as I coated her walls white. Wave after wave of my sperm poured out into her welcoming cunt, seeding her married pussy as my pulsing dick seemed to trigger Jaewook. He started unloading too, spraying his warm sticky cum inside Karina’s well fucked pussy. Spurt after spurt, both from Jaewook and myself, peppered her unfaithful womb as we flooded her with our warm cums, seeding her cunt as she reveled in the feeling of being pumped full of sperm. We were fuel injecting her pussy for a good five minutes, never stopping in thrusting into her womb as we eventually came to a stop, Jaewook slipping out first to a torrent of cum cascading out of her slit. We were spent, Jaewook was finished, eventually falling asleep on the far side of the bed.

It was in this moment that Karina and I knew the truth, it was truly over between her and Jaewook, this was almost like the final goodbye, only he was not aware of it. Karina looked at me longingly, her face tired, body used and abused. Yet despite this she managed to crawl into my arms and kiss me gently, taking me into her mouth as I caressed her shaking body while Jaewook slept beside us.

“Thank you...” She said.

“For what?” I asked.

“For doing this, for him, for me...this is it, my parting gift for him...my goodbye...” She replied.

There was a hint of sorrow in her eyes at all the years that they were together which I washed away the moment my lips touched hers once more. Stroking her inner thighs she barely registered I was inside her again, scooping out the messy cum oozing out her slit.

“I guess this is your Truth and Reconciliation.” I mused, kissing her forehead.

“Yeah, I guess so.” She said, looking at me playfully.

“What...you want more?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“Well...he’s asleep...so…” Karina replied.

“So…?” I asked, amused.

“So... cum down my throat while he’s not watching already.” She said devilishly.

With that, she was on my cock again kissing me down my chest ever so slowly, slurping down my meat between her lips as her tongue lapped up the remnants of my cum, previously released inside her married cunt. Running my fingers through her head while I fed her my straining cock, I reveled in the feeling of her tongue the underside of my shaft, teasing me with each lick.

“Take it...Karina...all...the...way...” I moaned, letting her gorge on my cock.

“Mmmmm...” She moaned around my cock.

Her soft hands massaged my balls in a calculating manner, squeezing my sack softly to elicit my precum to release onto her soft tongue. Each bob of her head allowed me to fuck her face deeper, glancing over to Jaewook sleeping peacefully, unknowingly next to the man who would be pumping his cum down his woman’s throat any second now. It was something she never did for him, ever, a fact I always loved as I cupped her face tenderly.

“You close...?” She asked between slurps.

“Ughhh...yeah...just...a little...more...” I moaned.

“Dump your load in my throat...fuck my mouth...” Karina replied, looking up at me wantonly.

I gripped her face and did just that, pushing my meat all the way down her gullet before releasing my seed into her mouth.

“MMmmm...mmghhhfff.” Karina moaned, taking my sperm into her stomach.

She kept sucking, her lips never relenting as she drank down my sperm with an unmatched appetite. I could tell she loved the fact that Jaewook was right next to us as she kept looking at him while sucking on my spurting dick.

“You suck me so good.” I sighed.

Stroking her face, she showed me the mess I had made in her mouth before swallowing my sticky semen in one go.

“I guess...we better tell him...” I said, with a cheeky smile.

“Hmmm...tomorrow...tonight I want you to fuck me some more...” Karina said seductively, jerking my spent cock in her hands.

#karina smut #aespa smut #kpop smut #girl group smut #female idol smut #male reader

[drudyslut]

— summary: kook princess. kook prince. perfect match, right? wrong. you hated rafe cameron and everything he stood for. and he hated you. so when your fathers spring it on the two of you that they’d arranged for the two of you to be married, both of your worlds are flipped upside down.

— CW: 18+ only! strong language, slightly aggressive!rafe, heated kissing, fingering, rafe is honestly super sweet n cute in this.

— note: it’s getting sexy in here😏

prev parts: one, two, three

Y/N

I wake the next morning, my head throbbing and the smell of coffee filtering in through my bedroom door. I yawn, going to stretch my limbs but the feel of a strong set of arms draped across my waist has me stilling, my mind racing a hundred miles a minute.

What the fuck….?

I glance to the right of my bed, the sound of slow and steady breathing I hadn’t heard at first now hitting my ears. Oh fuck. Rafe. What is he doing in my bed? What the hell happened last night?

The last thing I remembered was him kissing me after our parents announced the engagement, and then he lead me into the kitchen where we both indulged in the copious amounts of alcohol my parents had provided for the night. I remembered the two us of finding his friends, Topper and Kelce, talking to them for a while before we had wandered off somewhere else within the house.

We’d gotten along fairly well last night. We weren’t fighting, or acting like we’d hated each other, but that didn’t mean anything… Right? Nothing happened between Rafe and I. It couldn’t have..

I softly lift his arm up and off my waist, letting it fall onto the bed before I lifted the covers, taking an inventory of my clothes. I still had my dress on, my underwear and bra hadn’t been removed… I felt fine. So why is Rafe in my bed? From what I’ve been told, — and just from what I’ve seen — Rafe didn’t sleep in bed with a girl unless he was fucking her.. But then again, he also never publicly showed affection towards any female, and last night he’d kissed me in front of a large crowd.

Swinging my legs over the side of my bed, I plant my feet on the ground, slowly and quietly trying to slip out the bed. I make it out of the bed, tiptoeing to my bathroom, but when my hand hits the knob, Rafe’s voice has my body tensing up.

“Trying to sneak out on me, huh?”

Fuck, he sounds sexy in the morning. His voice is low and raspy and thick with sleep. I release the door knob, slowly turning to face him. He’s laid on his side, his right elbow propped up on the bed with his right hand holding his face as he stares back at me. I rub my thighs together, trying to shake away the throb that’d formed between my legs from just looking at him.

I clear my throat, “Uh, no. I just.. I just need to brush.. Just need to brush my teeth.”

Fuck, I sound like a fucking idiot. Stumbling over my words like a fucking high school girl with a crush… Why is he making me feel things like this? I’ve always hated him, but now… Now I’m seeing him in a slightly different light, and I can’t shake the feelings that are digging their way up.

He smirks at me, breathing out a small laugh before he turns and lets his head fall back into my pillows. I watch as he makes himself comfortable in my bed, my eyebrows shooting up to my hairline in confusion and shock. Rafe Cameron in my bed? If you would have told me this would be happening just a week ago, I’d laugh in your fucking face and say “Only in his dreams.”

Rafe turns his head to the side, bright blue eyes scanning the length of my body before he says, “Go brush your teeth and change into something more comfortable, then come back in here. We should talk.”

I open my mouth to respond, tell him that he can’t tell me what to do. But nothing comes out. I just clamp my mouth shut and turn, opening the bathroom door and quickly shutting myself inside.

My back hits the door, sliding down until my ass hits the cool tiled floors. I run my hands through my hair, something scraping against my scalp when as I do. I pull my left hand down, holding it out in front of my face. My eyes go wide when I notice the large diamond that sat on my finger. Holy shit? This wasn’t here last night… Is this? Of course it is, how could I not think that there’d be a ring? We’re getting married for Christ’s sake.

I begin sucking in large gasps of air, trying to mentally calm myself. It’s happening. He’s not so bad, is he? When the fuck did he put this ring on my finger? Why the fuck is this my life? What does he want to talk about? All the annoying, but valid thoughts run rampant in my mind. I shake my head, trying to shove all the incessant thoughts away as I will my shaky legs to stand again.

Quickly brushing my teeth and taking three ibuprofen, I push open my bathroom door and make my way back into my bedroom. Rafe still lays on my bed, but he’s on his phone now. He slowly turns his head, his icy blue gaze slowly moving from my feet and up to my face.

My face heats up under his intense stare. “What?” I ask, my voice slightly shaking. Damnit.

He locks his phone, placing it on the nightstand and sitting himself up in my bed, his back rested up against the headboard.

“You gonna change? That dress cannot be comfortable.”

I glance down at the tight fitted white dress my mom had chosen for me to wear last night. “Uh.. Yeah.”

I slowly make my way to my dresser, opening it and pulling out a pair of pink silk shorts and a white tank top. I slowly inch toward the bathroom again, but Rafe clears his throat, stopping me in my tracks.

“You don’t have to be shy around me. I’m gonna be your husband after all.”

My brows pinch together in confusion. “What do you want from me? You went from hating me to… not hating me… so fast. So what’s the catch?”

Rafe chuckles. “Who said I didn’t still hate you? You’re stuck up. You have this ‘I’m better than you’ complex. You don’t like fun,” He pauses, his blue eyes searching my face. “Honestly, you’re not my first choice for a wife. To be honest, I’m not sure I ever wanted to be married. But here we are. I guess you can say I’ve just accepted the situation we’ve found ourselves in.”

My entire body heats up. Of course he still hates me, I didn’t expect a week to change anything. But what does he want from me? “You don’t have to be shy around me.” What the fuck does that even mean? Does he think that just because we’re supposed to be married in three weeks that I’ll just throw all my morals away and let him have his way with me? Fuck that, he’ll have to work for me, even if all I want to do is bare myself to him and let him touch me.

I nod my head once. “Understood. So tell me then, Rafe. What is it you want from me? You want me to strip for you? You want me to just give myself to you because you’re set to be my husband? I’ve gone twenty-one years without letting a man see me or touch me, and believe me when I say, I can go another twenty-one. I won’t give into you so easily, I’m not one of your many girls that will just drop to her knees when you ask. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to change, and I’d like it if you’re gone by the time I come back out.”

I turn and grasp the doorknob, pushing open the bathroom door but Rafe’s hand gripping the back of my neck has my clothes falling to the floor, a sharp gasp pulled from my chest.

He spins me around, keeping a firm hold on my neck as his cold, blue eyes stare down at me.

“Princess, you will give into me. You will drop to your knees when I ask. And you will love every second of it, because I can promise you one thing, of all the men that could be your first, you’re lucky it’ll be me.”

I yank myself free from his grasp. My right hand lands a sharp slap across his cheek before I can process what I was doing. Oh shit. Did I just do that? Fuck fuck fuck. He’s definitely going to make me pay for that, and although I’m not necessarily afraid of Rafe Cameron, I can’t help but fear what he might do to me for such a stupid mistake.

His wild blue eyes stare down at me. I can’t quite read the expression on his face, but I can see the fire blazing behind those cool blue eyes, and it’s frightening. I open my mouth to apologize, but Rafe’s right hand grips the back of my neck tightly again, his lips crushing mine in a searing kiss.

I try and fight him off of me, but to no avail. He’s much stronger than me, and his grip on the back of my neck is bruising this time. He kisses me with so much force and passion it has my knees going weak and my heart thrumming wildly in my chest.

Rafe’s tongue flicks my upper lip, and I absentmindedly part my lips for him, allowing him to shove the pink muscle into my mouth. His left hand runs up my side, squeezing at my hip tightly before it continues its way up and around to the zipper on the back of my dress.

He breaks the kiss, his darkened over eyes staring down into mine. Slowly, he tugs the zipper down, the straps of my dress falling loosely down my shoulders as he does. He never takes his eyes off mine as he pushes the dress down my body, leaving me in nothing but the silky white bra and panties I’d chose to wear last night.

Releasing the grip on my neck, he steps back, planting both hands on my hips as his eyes take in my body. My heart picks up in my chest, beating wildly now, I don’t think I breathe as he continues staring down at me.

“Rafe… What’re you-”

He dips his head down, claiming my lips with his again as his hands run down my hips and to my ass. He grips the flesh in his hands, a small gasp escaping me at the unknown feeling. The spot between my legs is throbbing, my thighs rubbing together to try and ease the ache I felt.

Rafe breaks the kiss once more. “You’re very beautiful. Why do you hide? Why have you never let a man touch you?”

My cheeks burn from his question. It’s not that I’ve never wanted to be touched, and it’s not like I haven’t had the opportunity, I just didn’t like any of the men who threw themselves at me. I didn’t want to be just another notch in someone’s belt, and that’s exactly what I would’ve been to any man on this island.

“Y/N? You okay?”

Rafe’s soft but firm voice pulls me out of my own head, and I raise my eyes to meet his. Deep blue pools stare down at me, and something in my heart swells. I don’t know when I’d started feeling for Rafe within the last week, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it…

“I- I’m fine..”

His brow pinches together, a look of confusion etched into his beautiful face. He thankfully didn’t push the subject though.

His hands roam the expanse of my body, a trail of goosebumps left in the wake of his fingers. He digs his fingertips into the waistband of my panties, his eyes meeting mine once more. “Can I?”

My hands shake, and a large knot has formed in my throat. I knew I shouldn’t give in, I told myself not to give in, but something inside me had my head nodding a silent ‘yes’ to him.

His fingers dip down and into the silky material before the pushed down, letting the soft material fall around my ankles. My hands fell, instinctively covering myself from his eyes, but his large hands come down and slowly grip my wrists, pulling them away.

“Rafe..”

“Shhh, just let me make you feel good, alright?”

I slowly nodded my head, averting my eyes to the ground. He takes my right hand in his, pulling us toward my bed. He sits down first, still clad in his dress slacks but no shirt, pulling me down next and situating me between his thighs.

His left hand pushes my legs further apart, and every muscle in my body tenses. My nerves were on high alert, was I really about to let Rafe Cameron touch me? Yes. Was I nervous about what this meant after? Yes and no. He was going to be my husband after all, may as well get used to him now, right?

His fingers slowly run down my thigh, sending a shiver down my spine at the soft touch. He slowly inches down, down, down until his fingers reach the most sensitive part of my body. I gasp as his index finger lightly brushes against my clit, the sensitive bud throbbing with need.

Rafe’s lips kiss softly on my shoulder and up to my neck, the heat of his breath on my skin making my body tingle. “‘M gonna insert a finger now, okay? Tell me if it’s too much.”

My eyes squeeze shut, my lower lip trapped between my teeth as I nod my head once more. He slowly pushes his index finger inside me, groaning once he’s knuckle deep. “Shit, you’re so wet, princess.”

Slow and steady pushes of his finger has my breath catching in my throat, this felt unreal, like nothing I’d ever been able to do for myself. His lips left soft, wet kisses on the skin of my neck and shoulder as he continued to push his thick finger in and out of my arousal slick core, our uneven breaths mixing together in the air.

“Gonna add another, okay?” Rafe warned before his ring finger slowly pushed its way inside as well.

The feeling, the stretch, it felt amazing. Tears welled in the back of my eyes as he slowly thrusted his fingers inside of me, his thumb pressing firmly against my clit, slow torturous circles being rubbed against it.

A tight feeling brewed in my lower belly as his fingers picked up pace, his thumb still slowly rubbing against my sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Rafe… Oh, God.. I-”

My brain was fuzzy, this unfamiliar feeling growing inside me, white hot pleasure threatening to rush through me.

“You’re close,” Rafe whispered against my neck, “I can feel you clenching around my fingers. You can let go, baby. Make a mess on my hand.”

Strangled “mmphs” and “ahhh’s” fell from my lips, the pressure building up more and more until it exploded. Pure euphoria rushed through my entire body from my head to the tips of my toes, my body shaking and small, quiet whimpers escaping me.

Rafe didn’t let up, he continued to finger me through my high, his teeth nipping at my shoulder, earlobe and neck as he did. My body fell limp in his arms, his fingers finally slowing in pace before he removed them completely. I turned my head to face him, his eyes on mine as he shoved the two arousal soaked fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean.

“I… Thank you..” I said softly, trying to ignore the slight awkward tension that now crowded my room.

Rafe smiled, a real, genuine smile for once. “You’re welcome. I just believe we should get used to being around one another, I mean.. We’re getting married right? And I’ve always found you beautiful, I was just too stuck in my ways of hating you that I would never admit that shit out loud.”

His hard dick pressed into my ass, serving as a reminder that he’d just taken care of me, and I should probably return the favor.

“Do you… Uh.. Do you want me to, help you…” I asked awkwardly, my eyes darting from his face down to his lower region.

He chuckled. “Nah. Another day, sweet girl. We have a lot to do today.”

Oh shit. That’s right, today was food and cake tasting for the wedding, Rafe and I had to pick what entrées, appetizers, cake, et cetera we wanted to have for the wedding. I quickly jumped off my bed, grabbing my phone and checking the time. Shit. It’s ten-thirty. I had an hour and a half to shower and get ready to go.

“I’m uh.. I’m gonna shower.. You gonna be here when I get out?”

“Nah, I’m gonna head home and get ready myself, but I’ll be back here in an hour to pick you up. Please be ready?”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah yeah, I’ll be ready. Um.. Thanks, again.”

He nods his head once, grabbing his shirt off my floor and tossing it on. I watch as he makes his way out of my room before I kick it into high gear and begin getting ready. I tried to shake the feelings I felt from my mind, but nothing worked. As much as I hated to admit it, I was falling for Rafe and his charm. The next hour, hell even the weeks to come, my mind was plagued with thoughts of the one person I never in a million years thought I could tolerate. Rafe Cameron.

RAFE TAGLIST: @drewstarkeyslut @princessslutt @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @rafesthroatbaby @sturnioloshacker @starkeysprincess @rafescurtainbangz @atorturedpoetx @redhead1180 @jjsmarijuana @romaescapes @kisses4angel @lovelysturnioloos @maybankslover @bellbottombaby @simars3 @rafesgiirl @urbimom @heartsforrafecameron @antagonize-me-motherfucker @araminsstufff @chaneydoll @bi-zowee @uraesthete @rafemotherfuckingcameron @gibbsgirl7 @queenvane @anobsessedwoman @sunny1616 @princesssuki21

rafe cameron masterlist | series masterlist | taglist form

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron brainrot #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fluff #obx rafe cameron #rafe fanfiction #rafe smut #rafe x reader #arranged marriage au #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe

[girlrotterr]

But I'm a Lesbian! pt.6

ellie x abby x dina x fem!reader a/n: omgg, the final chapter is heree!! thank you to everyone who supported this series!! I love & appreciate you <33

→ Part one! → Part two! → Part three! → Part four! → Part five!

You and Ellie hurried through the dark hallways, The darkness of the night was cold, the moon casting long shadows on the ground. The only sounds were the distant chirping of crickets and the occasional rustling of leaves. Your footsteps were careful, almost soundless, but your whispers broke the silence.

“You should start the fire,” you said, glancing nervously around to make sure no one was nearby.

“Me? Why me?” Ellie snapped back in a whisper, wincing slightly from the pain in her asscheek.

“Because you’ve got the lighter!” you argued, trying to keep your voice low.

Ellie shook her head, “And you have hands! It’s not rocket science. Just light it up and run.”

"Seriously, I shouldn't be the one starting it," you argued. "If something goes wrong, I don't want to be the one to blame.”

Ellie snapped back, "And you think I do? This is your mess too!"

"Ugh! Why do you have to argue with everything?" you exclaimed in a harsh whisper.

Ellie scoffed, "What are you talking about?"

"You're always disagreeing or instigating something," you shot back. "Shit, it's the reason for most of your fits with Abby! Which, by the way, there's clearly some gay-ass tension between you two..."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Seriously?! You want to talk about this now? We wouldn't even BE doing this if someone didn't kill the fucking nurse!"

You gasped, feeling a pang of guilt. "I didn't kill her!... At least I don't think I did... fuck! I hope I didn't!!"

Ellie scoffed again, her tone sharp. "If that blow didn't kill her, then a permanent coma is her best bet."

You sighed in relief, "I don't need charges on my record so soon... I still need to commit—wait, wait, wait! Don't fucking change the subject! What's the animosity with Abby?!"

Ellie shot you a look. "What's with the questions all of a sudden?!"

"I need answers to all the crazy shit you've all put me through! Like, how did the nurse and Abby even happen? Why is the director of a conversion camp a closeted lesbian? And why is Dina the only somewhat normal person here—"

Before you could finish, Ellie swiftly covered your mouth with her hand, her eyes burning with intensity. "You're... insufferable," she said, her voice tinged with frustration. "From the moment you stepped foot into our dorm, you've been aggravating."

You blinked, taken aback by her sudden outburst. Ellie's face was close to yours, her gaze unwavering. "I was doing so well," she continued, her voice strained. "I had everything under control, focusing on my tasks, keeping my composure. And yet, you came along and ruined it all."

"You've taken over my mind. Suddenly every thought I have is centered around you. I can’t focus on something without needing to gaze at you." Ellie muttered, her voice softer now, almost pleading. "You've completely thrown me off balance."

You could see the conflict in her eyes, the struggle between wanting to push you away and needing to be close to you. Your eyes widened . Ellie’s words sank in, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. You mumbled something against her hand, and she slowly let it go.

"If you were having gay panic, you should've just said so," you said, half-teasing.

A sudden light illuminated the nearby path, casting long shadows across the courtyard. The director was doing her rounds, her flashlight sweeping from side to side. Ellie reacted instantly, grabbing your arm and pulling you down into the bushes. You both crouched low, trying to steady your breathing as the director's footsteps grew closer.

"Shit," Ellie whispered, her grip on your arm tightening. "We need to stay quiet."

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. The director's light passed dangerously close, the beam brushing the edges of the bushes where you hid. You could hear her muttering to herself, something about the nurse not being at her station. Ellie glanced at you, her eyes wide. 

The light paused, and you both held your breath, the world seeming to freeze around you. The director's footsteps resumed, moving away from your hiding spot. You exhaled slowly, feeling a rush of relief.

"That was close," you whispered, glancing at Ellie.

You both stayed hidden for a few more moments, ensuring the director was far enough away. Then, cautiously, Ellie peeked out from the bushes, scanning the area. "Alright, she's gone. Let's move."

You both emerged from your hiding spot, hearts still racing. The courtyard was silent again, the only sound being the faint rustle of leaves in the breeze. Ellie took your hand, leading you toward the designated spot for starting the fire. 

"Okay," Ellie whispered, her eyes darting around  "We need to fucking hurry."

You nodded, your nerves on edge. "I'll keep watch. You start the fire."

Ellie shot you a look. "Alright."

She set to work, gathering some dry leaves and twigs, her movements quick and precise. You kept watch, scanning the courtyard for any signs of movement. The tension was suffocating, every rustle of the wind making you jump.

Ellie fumbled with the lighter, her fingers trembling slightly as she tried to strike a flame. The lighter jammed, and she cursed under her breath, shaking it and trying again. "Come on, damn it!"

You stood next to her, nervously glancing around. "Hurry up, Ellie! The director could come back any second!"

"I'm trying!" Ellie snapped back, shaking the lighter vigorously. "This piece of shit isn't working!"

The two of you exchanged heated words, the stress of the situation making it hard to stay calm. "Why isn't it working?" you hissed, your anxiety spiking.

Ellie pulled it away, her eyes flashing with irritation. "I've got it! Just give me a second!"

Just as you were about to respond, the lighter finally sparked to life. Ellie quickly brought it to the pile of dry leaves and twigs, the tiny flame catching and starting to grow. But before she could fully ignite the pile, the director's flashlight beam swept across the courtyard again, heading straight for you.

"Come on, let's go!" Ellie grabbed your hand, pulling you away from the scene. In her rush, she accidentally kicked a burning stick near the edge of the building. Flames began to lick at the wooden structure, spreading rapidly.

You and Ellie ran toward the forest, hearts pounding, not daring to look back until you were safely hidden among the trees. Breathless, you both turned to see the building catching fire, the flames climbing higher.

"Uh, Ellie," you said, staring at the growing blaze.

Ellie followed your gaze, her expression shifting from shock to disbelief. "Well, shit,"

_____

"Hold her legs up higher!" Abby grunted, struggling with the weight.

"I'm trying!" Dina hissed back, sweat beading on her forehead. 

The two of them wrestled with the nurse's limp form, trying to fit her into the cramped space. Abby pushed, and Dina pulled, both of them gritting their teeth with the effort.

"Okay, almost there," Abby said, maneuvering the nurse's arm inside. "Just a little more."

Dina adjusted the nurse's legs, finally managing to tuck them in. The cabinet door barely closed, the nurse's fingers still visible through the gap.

"Shit, that’s not gonna work," Dina muttered, eyeing the barely shut door.

"We don't have time," Abby said, her tone urgent. "We need to get our stuff and get out of here..”

Dina nodded, moving quickly to the drawer they had been trying to unlock. "The nurse had the keys, right?"

Abby reached into the nurse's pocket, pulling out a small set of keys. "Fuck yeah."

Abby tossed the keys to Dina, but in the rush, Dina fumbled the catch, and the keys fell to the ground with a metallic clink. Dina scrambled to pick them up, her hands shaking . At that exact moment, a loud crash echoed. Abby turned to see the nurse's body come flying out of the cabinet, landing face down on the floor. 

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Abby groaned in frustration.

"Sooo, I know this isn't the most perfect time to ask this but.." Dina glanced at Abby who was holding the limp body over her shoulder.

"Just ask," Abby replied, her tone strained with the effort of holding the nurse's body.

Dina took a deep breath. "Do you think after all this, you and Ellie could reconcile?"

Abby's brows furrowed in surprise. "What?"

"Everything that happened with Cat, Ab's," Dina continued.

Abby furrowed her brows, "It wasn't that serious with Cat, alright? We were just having fun. And besides, Cat just wasn't the one for ellie."

Dina let out an exasperated sigh. "Imagine how Ellie felt walking in on you giving her crush mind-blowing backshots with another bitch suffocating on her tits!"

Abby rolled her eyes. "You were that other bitch!"

Dina scoffed, crossing her arms defensively. "Woah, woah, woah! I apologized to Ellie, okay?! I blamed it on the perc and told her that it made me hallucinate!"

Suddenly, the shrill sound of the fire alarm pierced the air.

"Shit, shit, shit," Abby cursed, glancing nervously at the door. "We need to hurry."

Dina's heart raced as she finally managed to open the drawer, revealing their confiscated belongings piled inside. "Got it!" She quickly grabbed their things and stuffed them into her bag, her movements frantic as she tried to gather everything.

"We need to go, now!" Abby urged. 

___ 

You and Ellie sprinted through the forest, branches scratching at your arms and legs as you dodged trees and bushes. The glow of the fire behind you illuminated the night.

Finally, you broke through the tree line and spotted Abby and Dina emerging from the building, looking frazzled but unharmed. They hurried toward you, carrying bags filled with your confiscated belongings.

"We need to fucking leave now!" Ellie gasped for air, glancing back at the burning building. "The director's out here—what the fuck?" She stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening at the sight of the nurse still limp and draped over Abby's shoulder.

Abby adjusted her grip on the nurse, "She wouldn't fit, okay!" Abby said defensively, her voice strained. "I didn't know what else to do!"

Dina, her face flushed with adrenaline, glanced nervously at the approaching flames and the chaos behind them. "Her plump fucking ass would take up half the space!"

“Is she still out?" you asked, looking at the nurse's unconscious form.

Abby nodded, "Yeah, she hasn't woken up yet."

"We need to hide her somewhere," Ellie said, her mind racing. "If the director finds her like this, we'll be fucking screwed."

Dina pointed toward a nearby shed, half-hidden in the shadows. "There! We can hide her in there."

With a collective effort, you all hurried toward the shed, Abby struggling to keep the nurse balanced as you navigated through the forest. Ellie pushed open the creaky door, and you quickly cleared a space inside, shoving old tools and supplies out of the way.

Abby gently laid the nurse down on a pile of rags,"Hopefully no bears chew her alive," Dina said, straightening up and wiping sweat from her brow.

 "Yeah, they’d have to chew through the silicone first." abby said.

___

As you continued through the forest, the distant glow of the fire gradually faded, but the urgency to keep moving pressed on. Finally, after what felt like hours, you stumbled upon a small clearing near the edge of the property. There, partially hidden behind some bushes, was the director's car.

"Fuck yeah," Ellie muttered, running her hand over the hood. "This is our way out."

Abby glanced around nervously. "We need to hurry. The director could be anywhere."

Ellie quickly got to work on the car, she pried open the dashboard and began fumbling with the wires. The silence of the night was broken only by the occasional crackle of leaves and distant shouts from the burning building.

Dina kept watch, her eyes darting around. "Come on, Ellie, faster," she urged, her voice tight with anxiety.

"I'm going as fast as I can," Ellie snapped back, her fingers working frantically. "This isn't exactly fucking easy."

Just then, you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps rapidly approaching. 

“You fucking clit sucking lesbians!!”  You turned to see the director, flashlight in hand, sprinting toward you, her face a mask of fury. 

"Shit! She's coming!" you yelled, panic setting in.

"Why did we let this fucking loser do this intricate ass shit!" Dina yelled.

"Shut up and let me concentrate!" Ellie snapped, her hands shaking as she twisted the last wire.

You all turned to see the director sprinting towards you, her flashlight beam cutting through the darkness. 

The engine roared to life just as the director reached the car. Without a second thought, Ellie slammed her foot on the gas pedal. The car lurched forward, the tires kicking up dirt and gravel. The director, caught off guard, tried to jump out of the way but wasn't quick enough. The car clipped her, sending her sprawling to the ground.

"Oh my fucking god!" Dina screamed, turning to look back at the director lying motionless on the ground.

The car skidded to a halt down the road, and the four of you rushed out. 

Blood trickled from a gash on the director's forehead, glistening under the dim moonlight. You covered your mouth, a wave of nausea washing over you. "This is why I wanted to escape alone!" you exclaimed, "Whenever I'm with you three, some insane shit happens!"

Dina clutched your arm, "Maybe we can be cellmates!" 

Ellie began pacing back and forth, "I need a cigarette. " she said, running a hand through her hair.

Abby, meanwhile, had knelt beside the director. She rifled through the director's pockets, finally pulling out her wallet. "Well, we need money, right?" she said, flipping it open and inspecting it.

"Are you seriously robbing her right now?" Ellie snapped, her eyes wide with disbelief.

Abby stood up, pocketing the wallet. "We can't afford to get caught. If we have to be on the run, we'll need cash."

You felt a rush of frustration. "This is insane. We’re not criminals!"

"Maybe not, but we are now," Abby replied, her tone cold. "We don’t have a choice."

Dina glanced back at the car, her eyes flicking between the director and the vehicle. "We can’t leave her here. Someone will find her, and then they'll trace us."

Ellie stopped pacing and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "We need to hide her, at least until we can figure out our next move."

You nodded, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you. "Alright, let's move her into the woods, somewhere she won't be easily found."

Together, you and the others carefully lifted the director's unconscious body, moving her off the road and deeper into the forest. The underbrush crackled underfoot as you carried her, the darkness swallowing you up. You finally found a secluded spot, laying her gently on the ground.

"Okay," Abby said, looking around, "this should buy us some time."

Dina sighed heavily, wiping her forehead. "Now what?"

"We get back in the car and keep driving," Ellie said, her voice firm. "We find somewhere to lay low and come up with a plan."

As Ellie started the car, the headlights illuminated a figure standing in the middle of the road. It was another nurse, her eyes wide with shock as she took in the scene."Excuse me, ma'am," Dina yelled out the window, “Where’s the nearest gay bar?"

#ellie williams #ellie fanfic #ellie x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie tlou #ellie smut #abby anderson #abby fanfiction #abby tlou #dina tlou #dina nolastname #ellie williams au #abby anderson au

[melagnes]

Heat in the Kitchen

Synopsis: After struggling to find a new apartment, you move in with Melissa. An intimate moment unfolds while cooking together when Melissa gently wipes sauce off your nose. Who knows what will happen next; after all, you were only roommates…

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Word Count: 2.6K

“Ughhh,” you sighed as you made your way into the breakroom for lunch. The weariness in your voice caught the attention of your colleagues, who turned their heads to look at you with a mix of curiosity and concern.

“Are you doing alright?” Barb asked, worry etched across her face. She set down her coffee mug, her focus entirely on you.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied, though your tone suggested otherwise. You dropped into your usual seat with a heavy thud, next to Melissa, who was in the middle of consuming her salad. “It just sucks. My lease is up in my current apartment, and I’m scrambling to find a new place. It feels like there is nowhere to live right now. Every place I’ve looked at is either too expensive or already taken.”

Barb’s expression softened, sympathy evident in her eyes. “Oh dear, that sounds really stressful. I’m sure you’ll find somewhere soon,” she said encouragingly, though the uncertainty in her voice was palpable.

“Thanks, Barb,” you said, offering a small smile as you took a bite of your sandwich. An awkward silence settled over the room, with the other teachers unsure how to ease your concerns.

Melissa had been quiet, her fork suspended mid-air as she studied your face. You felt her eyes on you and turned to meet her gaze. “What, Mel?” you asked, curiosity piqued by her intense focus.

“Stay with me,” Melissa blurted out, her voice steady but her eyes betraying a hint of nervousness. “I’ve got a spare room you can rent. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s available, and I’d love to help you out.”

You stared at her, shock and gratitude mingling on your face. “Really? You would do that for me?”

“Yeah, hun,” Melissa said with a warm smile, her eyes softening. “That’s why I’m offering. You’ve been a great friend, and I’d hate to see you struggling.”

“Thank you so much, Mel,” you said, your voice filled with relief and excitement, even as you winced inside at her use of the word “friend” because you wished you were more.

“When can I move in?”

“How’s tomorrow sound?” she replied, her smile widening.

“Tomorrow works perfectly! This is such a huge help, you have no idea,” you exclaimed, leaning over to give her a quick, heartfelt hug. “Thank you, Mel!”

As you stood up to head back to your classroom, you felt a lightness that hadn’t been there before. Melissa watched you leave, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. Barb, observing the exchange, couldn’t help but notice the tender look in Melissa’s eyes. She smiled to herself, hoping that living together might finally nudge both of you to acknowledge the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface.

You walked down the hallway with a renewed energy, the dread of your housing situation lifting. Thoughts of packing and moving swirled in your mind, but underneath it all was a burgeoning hope that maybe, just maybe, this living arrangement would bring about more than just a place to stay.

The days leading up to your move were a whirlwind of activity. Packing boxes, organizing your belongings, and saying goodbye to your old apartment kept you busy and distracted from the nerves forming inside. You couldn’t help but wonder how living with Melissa would change things. Would it bring you closer together or drive a wedge between you? There was only one way to find out.

Finally, the moving day arrived. You loaded the last of your boxes into the car and took a deep breath before turning the key in the ignition. The drive to Melissa’s house felt unusually long, perhaps due to a mix of anxiety and the promise of something new. But as you pulled up to her house, a wave of calm washed over you.

With a determined breath, you knocked on the door. It swung open slowly to reveal Melissa, her face lighting up with a warm smile. “Um, hey… Welcome, I’m glad you’re here,” she said, her voice tinged with a hint of shyness.

“Thanks, Mel. I’m so grateful for you letting me stay here. Honestly,” you replied, feeling a surge of gratitude and relief.

As you stepped through the doorway, you couldn’t help but admire your new home. Melissa had a knack for creating a cozy and inviting space. “Mel, you have such a nice house,” you said, genuinely impressed.

“Thank you. I hope you settle in nicely. I’ll let you unpack your things, and I’ll make some dinner. How does that sound?” Melissa asked, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

“That sounds amazing, thank you,” you replied with a smile.

You began to carry your boxes into the house, each step making the reality of your new living arrangement sink in. The house was a perfect reflection of Melissa—beautiful, warm, and welcoming. As you hefted a particularly heavy box, you caught Melissa glancing your way. Her eyes lingered for a moment, and you couldn’t help but notice her blush deepen. Your tank top was doing you justice.

After you finished unpacking, you made your way to the kitchen, where the tantalizing aroma of Italian cooking filled the air. Melissa turned around, a shy smile gracing her lips as she presented a steaming dish to you.

“I made lasagna,” she said, her voice tinged with excitement as she gestured toward the table,

You both took a seat at the table, your mouth watering as you eagerly dug into the rich, savory layers. Each bite was a testament to Melissa's culinary skills, and you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for her effort and thoughtfulness.

“Mmmm, this is so good. You are seriously the best cook I know,” you complimented her between bites of the delicious meal she had prepared.

“Don’t inflate my ego, amore,” Melissa replied, her cheeks flushing for the third time that evening. The term of endearment slipped out so naturally that it made your heart skip a beat.

“You should teach me how to cook one of your dishes next time. I love to cook, I just don’t cook Italian that much,” you said, eager to share one of her passions.

“Oh, I definitely will, hun,” Melissa said, her smile widening.

As the evening drew to a close, the two of you settled into a comfortable routine. The initial nervousness began to fade, replaced by a sense of effortless companionship; living with Melissa was surprisingly easy.

Over the following weeks, your relationship with Melissa deepened. You found joy in the little things—sharing breakfast, chatting about your day, and laughing over silly jokes. Melissa’s presence was a constant source of comfort and happiness.

One evening, Melissa finally decided to teach you how to make one of her favorite Italian dishes: homemade gnocchi with tomato and basil sauce. The kitchen was filled with the fragrant aroma of fresh herbs, garlic, and simmering tomatoes, creating an inviting atmosphere that made the house feel even more like home.

“Alright, let's get started,” Melissa said as she showed you how to knead the potato dough and roll it into small, delicate pieces. She then guided you through shaping the gnocchi with a fork. “These little ridges help hold the sauce better,” she explained, deftly demonstrating the technique with her fingers.

Melissa was hypnotizing as she cooked, and you just couldn’t get enough. Her presence was soothing yet electrifying, a combination that made your heart race.

“Now, for the sauce,” Melissa said, handing you a wooden spoon and positioning you in front of the simmering pot. “It’s all about balance. We need to let the tomatoes, garlic, and basil meld together perfectly.”

You carefully added the ingredients to the pot, the vibrant colors and rich scents mixing beautifully. As you stirred, you became deeply focused, trying to get the consistency just right. So focused, in fact, that you jumped when you felt Melissa’s hands on your arm.

“You got a little somethin’ here,” Melissa muttered as she cupped your cheek.

You froze, taken aback by the sudden intimacy of the moment.

Melissa’s thumb slowly brushed the sauce from your nose, and you watched, entranced, as she brought her thumb to her lips and sucked the sauce off.

“T-Thanks, Mel,” you stuttered, feeling your heart pound in your chest. You both began to lean in closer, the space between you shrinking as an unspoken connection pulsed in the air.

Just then, the sound of pasta boiling over broke the spell. Melissa quickly moved to turn off the stove, muttering, “Damn pasta,” under her breath. You both laughed, the moment diffused but not forgotten.

The meal was a success, the gnocchi were soft and pillowy, perfectly coated in the rich, flavorful sauce. As you both sat down to eat, the atmosphere was charged with unspoken feelings. Each bite seemed to carry the weight of what had almost happened, you almost kissed Melissa, and Melissa almost kissed you.

“That was incredible, Mel,” you said, savoring the last bite. “You’re an amazing teacher.”

“Well, you make a pretty good student,” she replied, winking at you. “Maybe next time, we’ll get through a recipe without any sauce on your nose.”

You laughed, feeling a warmth spread through you at her teasing. “I’d like that. Maybe you can teach me to make your tiramisu next?”

“Oh, I see you’re aiming high,” she teased, leaning back in her chair. “I suppose I can share my secret recipe. But only if you promise not to get distracted.”

“Deal,” you said, grinning, though you knew it would be impossible not to get distracted by her captivating face—her full lips that frequently curled into a playful smirk, her vibrant green eyes that seemed to see right through you, and the way her fiery red hair framed her features so perfectly.

That cooking session was not the last of Melissa’s teasing. As the weeks went by, these cooking sessions became a cherished routine. Each of Melissa’s flirtatious comments made your bond stronger, while simultaneously driving you crazy.

“Hey, chef,” she called one evening as you were chopping vegetables. “Try not to chop your fingers off. I kind of like them the way they are.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” you shot back with a smile. “I’ll try to keep them intact.”

“Good,” she said, her eyes glinting with humor. “They’re quite useful, you know. Especially for stirring sauce. Or… other things.”

You choked, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at her suggestive tone. Melissa laughed, clearly enjoying your reaction, “What’s wrong Mia? Cat got your tongue?” she teased, using the affectionate Italian pet name that made your heart flutter every time you heard it.

Days turned into weeks, and the playful banter between you two only grew. The chemistry was undeniable, a magnetic pull that seemed to draw you closer with each passing day. You found yourselves sharing more than just meals and chores; you shared stories, dreams, and secrets. The connection between you deepened, and with it came a growing awareness of the feelings you both harbored but had yet to fully acknowledge.

One evening, you settled onto the couch to watch a movie. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the TV casting a cozy ambiance. As the movie played, you found your attention drifting away from the screen and towards Melissa. She was sitting close, her presence warm and comforting.

As the movie “The Parent Trap” played, you found yourself completely engrossed in the plot—totally not distracted by the redhead who looked strikingly like Melissa.

“Ha, she kind of looks like you Mel,” you chuckled as you glanced between the TV and Melissa sitting next to you.

“Huh, really?” Melissa inquired.

“Yeah, she’s sexy,” You glanced at Melissa with a smirk on your face.

Melissa rolled her eyes, “You're cute.” She playfully leaned in to kiss your cheek.

Just as her lips brushed against your skin, you turned to ask her a question. In that fleeting moment, your lips met in a soft, unexpected kiss.

Shock pulsed through you, momentarily freezing you in place. Your mind raced, trying to comprehend the suddenness of the situation. It was as if time slowed down, and all you could feel was the warmth of her lips against yours, the softness of the connection sending a jolt through your entire being.

For Melissa, there's a moment of surprise, her eyes widening slightly as she registers the unexpected contact. But then, almost instinctively, she responds in kind, her lips meeting yours in a gentle and tentative exploration.

The world seemed to fade away, the softness of her lips against yours sending a warm shiver down your spine.

Time stood still as the kiss deepened, your bodies pressed together heatedly against the couch. Your fingers tangled in her hair, while her hands grasped firmly at your waist. At that moment, all you could feel was her: the scent of vanilla filling your senses, the image of her fiery hair and green eyes etched into your mind. And for her, all there was was you: the aroma of lavender lingering in the air, the image of your raven-black hair and brown eyes imprinted in her thoughts.

When you finally pulled back, both of you breathless, your foreheads touched, and you whispered, “Did not expect that,” you whispered breathlessly when you finally pulled back, your foreheads touching. Your heart was pounding, and you could see the same intensity reflected in Melissa’s eyes.

“Well, I’ve wanted to do that for so long. Living with you has driven me crazy,” Melissa admitted, her eyes sparkling with honesty and desire. She cupped your face with her hands, her thumbs gently stroking your cheeks. “Every time we’ve cooked together, every joke, every look… I’ve been falling for you more and more.”

Hearing her words, your heart swelled with emotions that you had been trying to keep at bay. “I feel the same way, Mel. I’ve been trying to hide it, but living with you has made it impossible to ignore how much I care about you.”

Melissa’s smile was radiant, her eyes shining with happiness. “So, what do we do now?” she asked, her voice soft but filled with anticipation.

“Maybe we start by acknowledging what’s been happening between us,” you suggested, your hand finding hers and intertwining your fingers. “We’ve been more than just friends for a while now. Let’s see where this goes, without holding back.”

“I like the sound of that,” Melissa said, leaning in to kiss you again, this time with the certainty of mutual understanding and shared feelings. The kiss was tender, filled with the promise of a new beginning.

With their relationship now blossoming into something deeper, the dynamic between you and Melissa shifted. There was a newfound intimacy in your interactions, a sense of ease and comfort that only comes with true emotional connection. You found yourselves more attuned to each other's needs, and more open in sharing your thoughts and feelings.

One evening, as you were cooking together, Melissa stood behind you, her arms wrapping around your waist. “Remember what I said about your hands being useful for other things?” she murmured in your ear, her voice sending shivers down your spine.

You chuckled, turning your head to kiss her cheek. “Oh, I remember. And I’m looking forward to discovering all the other things they can do.”

Melissa laughed softly, her breath warm against your skin. “I’m glad you’re here, Bella. Every day with you feels like a gift.”

“Feeling’s mutual, Mel,” you replied, turning in her embrace to face her. “Here’s to many more days of cooking, and… whatever else we can come up with.”

You kissed her again, the taste of possibility on your lips. The future was bright, filled with the promise of love that had finally found its way into the open, ready to grow and flourish in the warmth of your shared home.

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x y/n #abbott elementary #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary fanfic #melissa schemmenti fanfic #fanfic

[ihopeiexplode]

📱“Back to square one...” [← Previous | Next→]

—

"how much did you hear?"

"all of it"

—

He's fucked. Why did he even say that to begin with? He knows he doesn't mean it but then, why did he say it? Before he could explain himself further you just let out a sigh before leaving

I mean who are you to get mad? It's not like he's wrong this is all for a project after all, but then again why does it hurt? You don't care about what he said right? Were you hurt because you thought you could have your best friend back?

—

As you left to go outside to have some fresh air, Sukuna was left staring at where you were before you left, then uraume spoke up,

"Are you gonna do something about it?"

Sukuna didn't even say anything as he just stood up and ran after you, why was Sukuna running after you? Even he doesn't know, you two were finally on good terms and his stubbornness just had to say that didn't he.

—

He finally stood in front of you as the two of you were now facing each other right in the middle of your college's garden(?) luckily none was around during this,

"what is it sukuna?"

"y/n listen I—"

"If you're gonna apologize, save it you have nothing to apologize for, it's not like I'm blaming you for saying those it's for a project after all you don't have to actually like me, if this was all an act I don't blame you for it"

"wait so do you not care?"

"no? Why would I? It's not like we had something to begin with, it's not like your my boyfriend or anything"

he wishes he was. But one thing he doesn't understand is why don't you care? That should be a good thing, right? But why does it bother him that everything the two of you did had no effect on you? Did it mean nothing to you? Did he put that much effort into making you like him just for you to not care?

"why doesn't it bother you?"

"is it supposed to?"

"bullshit. Any girl would've done anything to be in your place. You get to spend weeks with me, do you know how many girls would've killed to spend that much time with me?"

"why are you making such a big fuss about the fact I'm not bothered? Does it look like I'm your girlfriend?"

That line alone made Sukuna shut up, he just stared at you as you walked away, your right, why is he making a big fuss about this, he just made himself look desperate.

He'd let out a groan of frustration before taking a seat on a nearby bench, and perfect timing gojo just happened to pass by and witness the scene

"What did you two have some sort of lovers quarrel?"

With that he'd take a seat right beside Sukuna, he'd immediately leave with a scowl on his face, as he left, gojo would just be there wondering what happened between you two

—

—

You'd be out shopping to clear up your mind, as you were about to pay for the things you bought, as you handed your card suddenly you saw a familiar hand pulling your card away and gave his instead,

When you looked to your side you saw the man of the hour: Sukuna.

As the cashier handed him his card back, he took your shopping bags,

"what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to...apologize for what I said back then..." Him? Apologizing? That's new he's not the type to do that

"if you think you can buy my forgiveness think again."

"I know I know, anyways who are you with?"

Before you could answer suddenly he saw someone familiar, someone too. Familiar. And who was it? No other than Yuji.

He'd immediately clench his fist the moment he saw Yuji place his arm over your shoulder smiling at you happily as you did the same,

Then suddenly your whole mood would change the moment you stared at Sukuna

"Since you wanted to come along you can carry my bags"

He'd just roll his eyes before muttering something under his breath, however he noticed how Yuji also looked

"so can you carry my bags to?"

"carry your own bags, you have hands don't you? Use them"

Before he could even say anything just one glare from you was enough for him to grab yujis bags and carry them along with yours.

He's trying to make up for what he said so might as well fulfill your requests..

—

He hated this. He was stuck following behind you and Yuji, he hated how happy you looked spending time with another guy that isn't him. How come his own brother gets your attention when he's right here?

The whole afternoon he's stuck watching both you and Yuji spend time with one another while he's just trailing behind like some lost puppy.

—

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/N: it was supposed to be more angsty but..yeah!!!

Taglist: @catobsessedlady @hellomeow12 @0-candlecove-0 @shivzypuff @swirlingcurses @1-800-choke-that-ho @attackonnat @chilichopsticks @getoxmahito @memenojutsu @uhnanix @ichorstainedskin @needtoloveoutloud @love-me-satoru @s-j320 @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @goj0sunglasses @svtvrnal @haitanibros0007 @punkhazardlaw @mslydiaa @jayathelostdragon @caileysdead @rixyaaaa @minzxec @rzcnlb

#jjk smau #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #jjk sukuna #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x you

[carlos-in-glasses]

I'm having some thoughts and feelings, for reasons.

The feelings are that I'm so grateful for this beautiful fandom and the beautiful couple in the picture above. The thoughts are beneath the read more and can be taken or left. The picture cannot be left, however. Taken is the only option. You need to see it because look how cute they are!

For prosperity:

Something I always 'explore', if you will, in my own writing is how people process the concept of time. Endings, beginnings, the past and the future linking up. Your past self always being with you like a spectre. The present feeling like a marble rolling around a tube... I think this is because I'm not good with change or saying goodbye, but I do know that endings always lead to something else. Which is scary, because you don't necessarily know what that will bring.

Thinking about all of the above in terms of Lone Star is a different beast for me personally, because I've never had this kind of experience with a show or characters before, where I'm so compelled by it that I found my way into the fandom and have been creatively stimulated to the point of writing 25+ fics for it (which isn't nearly as many as others have produced! But to me it feels significant). So for that reason I want to say: When the show ends -(WHENEVER THAT MAY BE) - the characters don't. They don't end, not really. As long as we choose to keep talking about the themes, sharing meta posts, writing them or drawing them or creating gif sets, and revisiting them in rewatches or YouTube clips - there they are. Always. Either suspended in their moment and so easy to revisit in all their glory, or put in new situations in fic and art even years into the future. If this hiatus has taught us anything, it's that even without the show on air, there are still plenty of stories to tell and interpretations to be had, based on what came before. When the show ends, the thing that will unfortunately go is the speculation aspect, but what we have instead is a beautiful completed work that can inspire and be meaningful forever to those who already love it and for those who will find it in the future - and it will be found. Anything that exists can be found. (See: deep sea fish that glow in the dark (!)). And things that don't exist can be imagined.

We're so lucky to be the ones in the know when it comes to the show and to Tarlos. We know how special it is, what a gift it is. I'm not a spiritual person but I do feel oddly spiritual when it comes to this. Idk.

Something I've always hoped (as I'm sure we all have) is that we would know ahead of time that it's over. The show not being renewed between seasons is a thought that horrifies me to my core. I remember thinking towards the end of season 4: "At least if it doesn't get renewed, it ends with Tarlos being canon-married." Which, as a Tarlos super-fan, was my no.1. concern, but I love and care about the other characters too of course.

Going into season 5 and fearing it could be the last season, I had a huge tummy ache wondering if Tarlos would be on the rocks. If they ended on a cliffhanger having assumed season 6 was on the cards, we'd never get a resolution. But Rafa's Cameos have really eased my mind in that regard. Based not only on the tiny amount he's given away, but the way he talks about them loving each other, it sounds like they're going to be okay - and we're going to see it for ourselves that Tarlos really is endgame. In a time when hope is needed, we do have this. AND we have each other! As long as Tarlos ends happy, I for one intend to keep dancing, even if it means I'm the eccentric up on the table on my own doing the robot. But I would always like others to dance with.

Whatever happens, which we don't officially know yet, we can get through it together.

#Cig personal #❤️ #Tarlos

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

A Personal Post

Hi guys, I'm finally making the post I kept telling myself and my best friends I'd make but wanted to put it off until I felt better. That hasn't happened and with how things are going I thought it was best to just post it now.

So for a while, since probably late 2023, I've felt less like my blog is for me, and more like it's some kind of fandom archive. Which, if you use it this way as-is, great! I'm glad my blog could make you happy like that! But that's not what I set out for it to be.

I'm the sort of neurodivergent person who likes to categorize things, including my interests. All my tumblr blogs are specific to one thing, and this one was no exception.

I began tagging things soon after I made the blog because I saw a lot of people were sad about the twins, and I thought "well since I love both sad and happy stuff, and I'm really good about categorizing things, maybe I can try and help!" And according to many, it did help!

But I think that also gave off the impression that I was making this blog for other folks, and that isn't the case. I'm sorry I never clarified. It's not an archive; I do not reblog shipping posts, posts from people I've blocked, AUs I don't click with, and sometimes just not everything I see.

I've gotten popular in the fandom, and for the most part I do, from the bottom of my heart, enjoy it. I have people who care about my hyperfixation! That's amazing! I have people who love my cosplay and want to meet up with me. I've made so many friends of all shapes and sizes and it's probably the most incredible thing I've ever experienced, truth be told.

But yeah my blog being mine has gotten away from me a bit, I think.

I want to keep tagging my submas tags, that isn't going to change. I will tag triggers when asked, unless it's kind of impossible due to the blog's subject (trains, for instance) or a name or really common word (like the word 'head' or something). Other than that please reach out and I'll do my best to remember. But other tags? Those will be up to me. I don't want to tag when OCs show up. I love OCs and like seeing them, and don't want to have to remember that one person who visits my blog doesn't.

I had anon off for a while because honestly ever since making this blog, there have been anons who really made me unhappy. (Also yes, non-anons but that's been fewer and far between). I've gotten misinformation, accusations, horrible and disgusting explicit asks, and criticisms and complaints, and I'm just... Not here for that. Keep the explicit things and misinfo out of my inbox, I am no arbiter of morality or personal decisions, and I am not here for you to share your negative opinions of submas or the fandom.

Anon is on for people who are too self conscious to chat face to face, for people to send fun headcanon ideas (remember when people did that back in 2022 when this blog started? I miss that, it was sweet and wholesome), to share song recommendations... That kind of stuff. If you have an actual problem, please, PLEASE talk to me off anon, whether that be DMs or a non-anon ask that I can answer privately. Especially if we're friends; please, please just talk to me about stuff. I don't bite! I swear!

But yeah the bottom line is I'm here to participate in fun (and sometimes heartbreaking!) fandom stuff. I'm here for FUN, not as my job. I know that we're all a bunch of neurodivergent folks and sometimes interactions can be a swing and a miss, but please try to be mindful. Please treat me like a person and not just like a museum curator for this blog.

Truth is, I haven't been okay for a while now. It's gotten worse this year for sure, and due to life stuff I cannot see things feeling better for me for some time. I need to go day by day for a lot of things, and I am trying to get better about needing to set boundaries and all that sort of thing. I suffer from intense paranoia too, and having so many eyes on me is genuinely terrifying at times. I'm trying to manage that as best I can, but I do ask that folks be kind.

NO I am not going anywhere, my blog is staying and will continue on as normal, but I really, really needed to get this posted.

Please continue to interact with me and chat and everything like that! But also please remember to treat this space, my blog, as my space. Thanks for reading!

#blue blogs #basically just. if you wouldn't want someone saying it to you please don't say it to me i guess? #please treat me like an individual person and not just a curator. #i do really and truly appreciate you all #most of you haven't done anything wrong and those who've made me uncomfortable mostly have done so just due to social mishaps #it's not the end of the world #please just try again and keep my boundaries in mind is all #going to link this in my pinned post as well

[tomnookishot]

although i feel i will most likely expand on it more in the future as i discover more about myself and the Aromantic Lifestyle, i think for now this might be my hatoful aro masterpost. this all has been on my mind for the past few weeks without me even recognising it and so i kinda just want to touch on uh. almost all of the main characters tbh.

when, a few years ago, i made those UGLY pride headcanon pieces (and yes i hate ALL of them now even yuuya and sakuya and i have considered remaking them but can't muster the willpower to do so) i think i was still weaning off of my inner asshole fandom gay who sat me down and told me "hey bitch. these fags better be AT LEAST bi or else you are homophobic. that's right you HOMOPHOBE i'll KILL YOU!!" as a baby gay i never felt like it was my place to say "hey i don't actually think these characters would be gay" or "i think the emotions projected onto them are not fully fleshed out or accurate to their personality" because i thought expressing a differing opinion made me an asshole, and in my defense there were and continue to be people who say that if you DON'T hc a character as queer, and queer in an acceptable way, then you are homophobic. but look at me now! i'm an asshole! and im defending the rights of aros everywhere 😤 (it's me it's literally just me im the only aro im defending). all of this is to say i have changed a lot of my opinions on the characters through my own exploration of them and through other people's inputs. and im here to tell YOU that you are AROPHOBIC if you don't hear me out and proceed to align all of your headcanons exactly with mine and then give me all of your money and you don't want to be aphobic now do you?

the character that i actually initially wanted to make an aro post about was my sweet normal-type trainer ryouta. i have to be honest with everyone. i actually think ryouta might be hetero. i honestly had no solid idea about his identity when i made my omni hc i genuinely just looked up a list of pride flags so i could say something interesting and im not fucking joking. it was a different time in my life. i actually don't think he would have an interest in men. i just don't read it in him. he admires male characters but that hardly goes beyond signs of genuine friendship. if anything i can see what people say about him after bbl with sakuya but like. is it inappropriate for me to say that i see it as. sometimes going through a traumatic experience with a friend and then having them want you to be safe could be a sign of platonic bonding and trust. i am not sure if ill bring this up more in this post but genuinely one of my least favorite things about internet fandom culture is having to defend yourself when saying a pair of characters might be friends. it so often devolves into arophobia and the devaluing of friendship when I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP in the FIRST PLACE. im not here to say you're WRONG for reading it as romantic. in fact i think in this case it's lowkey fair to do so. but not only is my reading different, i would like to ask an audience that doesn't agree to go into the rest of this post being mindful of the prejudices that are involved with being deeply defensive about romantic headcanons, and that it SUCKS being aromantic and having to add disclaimers like this about your ideas when most queer fandom spaces never expect you to have them for headcanons concerning most other LGBT identities.

anyway. what just happened i blacked out i take no responsibility for anything that i just said. what i wanted to say was that while i really don't read The Gay on ryouta, i think demiro RADIATES from him. i don't remember what it came from, it might've been the qna translation i did, but that time moa was like "if ryouta couldn't be with hiyoko he would probably just be okay being single forever" had me thinkin. i think the typical allo interpretation would probably be "oh so noble he would be so hung up on his old crush that he would never move on to someone new" but i think, when you red string bulletin board this quote across a couple other loose pieces of evidence you can see that it's pretty g-dang demi of him. his attraction to hiyoko stems almost exclusively from his connection with her. he hardly ever makes comments about her looks or how pretty she is. his ideal relationship with her is to just continue the things they've been doing forever, except now they're married i guess. he loves her for the way he's always thought of her, and for the fact that she's such a wonderful friend. she's ALWAYS been strong and supportive, he says. that's what makes ryouta admire her, he says.

he gets defensive when someone gets emotionally close with her. something that always stood out to me in his talk with yuuya on the holiday star was when he says something along the lines of "nageki knows a side of hiyoko that i don't." his fears come from someone knowing hiyoko in a similar intimate way that he does, and i think that's because that's the only way he might process romantic attraction coming to be. he also invalidates the way he believes yuuya sees attraction. in that same talk he throws jabs at how yuuya plays with girls and doesn't really come to know them, and again, besides coming from a society that is against casual sexuality, i think that would make a lot of sense within the context of ryouta seeing deep emotional connection as the only way you can have a "real" romantic love. i think ryouta doesn't really have a want or need to dig deeper into the implications of his attractions, which obviously results in him not even realising he has a crush on hiyoko, but i also think he just isn't. that concerned with figuring out where he stands in terms of romantic orientation. in a world where he is mlm, i think he would probably never recognise that or at least never label it, but regardless, if he's demi i think he would just never see that not everyone experiences attraction the way he does. i think he would be infinitely confused with the people who get married based on five months of dating after meeting on a dating app, which is what i do. honestly i just think ryouta is so accustomed to the status quo of being a young supportive straight guy that he sees his own demiromanticism as, if anything at all, just him being peak love story protagonist. so in conclusion i see ryouta as a hetero-demiromantic who doesn't KNOW that he's demiromantic.

as im trying to decide how i want to order this, i think i have to get someone out of the way. everyone knows i hate him with a passionate fury and i genuinely don't like thinking about him BUT. i have shoe eewahmeanay thoughts. im sorry. i have read what the shuu likers have to say about him. i have read the accursed pieces on his relationship to ryuuji. and your first assumption may be that i would read shuu as aromantic, because i am a freak. well it's not true. i actually DON'T see him as strictly aromantic. i think reading emotions through a clinical and cold view is very common to the aspec experience, especially to romance- and sex-repulsed people. putting yourself completely outside of the actions and experiences and just viewing them through a purely scientific this-is-what-social-creatures-in-A-Society-do-sometimes standpoint, you can find more ease and comfort in examining how other people view relationships. but im not here to argue that this is something that makes shuu aro (considering that is literally something he does), rather i would like to argue that this is something that stems from shuu being a general freak when it comes to Having Relationships. i kind of assume shuu might be somewhere on the arospectrum and as a certified shuu hater it's not my place to decide exactly where but i still see a possibility of attraction being an element of his actions. but it's fucked up™ attraction. i think more than anything being a little neglected boy already part of an upper class where genuine connection is discouraged is the biggest factor in iwamine's stunted social development, but he's also just. i don't think he was ever wired to desire or feel connection, not like most other people at least.

i will happily back the idea that isa was desperate for a well-rounded father figure, and that this is what lead him to becoming so deeply attached to ryuuji rather than him just having a gay crush. he is extremely fucking complicated and i know the shuu likers know that. im pretty sure most articulated shuu opinions will probably factor in the bad childhood and unhealthy dependencies into isa's view on ryuuji. i also think, though, that it is entirely too interesting to imagine that isa cannot comprehend the weight or meaning of his own emotions. i don't know if he's aromantic because on a fundamental level i cannot understand any attractions that i feel and it is extremely difficult to parse through different types of attraction. i think that is exactly the kind of compelling idea to play around with for shuu. i think he would sort through his feelings about ryuuji only after his passing, that being the critical trigger for him to do so and he would be unwilling to think too much about it otherwise, and if/when he did, it would still be in his patented narrow, clinical view. i don't think it's ridiculous to believe that there are unknown and involuntary brain fuck-ups going on that stem from attraction in that guy. of course shuu as an adult can only define his relationship to ryuuji through given societal standards, and i genuinely think there is something deeper than romantic intention there, but shuu may only come to the conclusion of "i'm a fucked up little freak boy who secretly liked being cared about but also i kinda thought he was attractive" (paraphrasing) due to the few words that our world gives us to define different relationships. really he just needs therapy.

um but my issue, the only one that really made me think about my arch nemesis this much, is the sheer amount of fluff that people write him into. it's INSANE. THOSE are the shuu likers who i don't think are as articulated as the ones i RESPECT. regardless of how shuu feels about ryuuji or what attraction he feels for him, shuu shows time and time again an inability to actually express his feelings about other people in any typical way. most of the time he just. y'know. expresses himself through violence and negativity. his interactions with ryuuji are usually dry and riddled with criticisms. shuu ends up carrying out his legacy through genocide. any friendship he could've conceived with tohri was always shut down because isa was always blunt with him, although i think isa didn't genuinely have any ill will towards tohri; tohri is just kind of an insecure guy who is very sensitive to criticism. with hiyoko the only way he can live with her is through actual murder. oh and did i say live i mean commit suicide. i don't know how he feels about hiyoko and to be honest im not terribly eager to figure it out but my point is that shuu only ever expresses positive emotions through negative means. i don't care if you think shuu just wants to be ryuuji's son or if you think shuu is a raging homosexual. he wouldn't be able to make it known either way. there is a post, and i don't have the will to dig it up because to my memory it was very crude but i found it funny nonetheless. i think it was tumblr user fluffyheretic who made a post saying something like "shuu iwamine would not be a hot daddy dom he would be googling 'how to kiss' on google dot com" and honestly yeah. i-- like-- how would that man ever be hot or god forbid fluffy in any other context than his chubby widdle partwidge cheeks. he would not be able to fathom a romantic relationship with the people he knows. he'd probably just like. idk. fantasize about dissecting their body and that would be the only thing he could imagine for days on end. and OH MY GOD. no he would not fucking plan a date. i am throwing shade to the fucks on ao3. this fag would not be cute or romantic at all. he would be off-putting and then you would leave. that would be the date. you might get a back-handed compliment. that's literally how he "courts" hiyoko. NOBODY LIKES HIM. in-game i mean. he is unlikeable. he is a dickhead. hiyoko and ryuuji are the only people to ever form a positive opinion of him because they are positive forces who love everyone. everyone else at the very least says mean shit about him behind his back. shuu iwamine aka isa souma aka utsuro ichijou is an aspec anomaly to me and it doesn't matter if he's aro or not. it's not like he could ever fucking land a date anyway.

transition to someone who is kind of that bitch's opposite: sakuya. or i guess really shuu's good parallel. that constitutes an entire post of its own tbh but. i think in general, even people who aren't that invested in aromanticism in hatoful could probably get down with grayro sakuya. to me at least, it kinda just makes sense on a basic level. he's not really invested in interpersonal relationships, even during his dating route which, need i mention, has its arc revolve around sakuya's personal growth and hardly is it ever implied he is attracted to hiyoko. the only time he ever begins to really feel exceptionally strongly about the people around him is coincidentally the same timeline in which yuuya tells him about their shared history: bbl. that's when he gains a sense of responsibility for his actions and feels a genuine care for his friends, and of course a painful regret for how he treated yuuya in particular his entire life. im almost tempted to call him straight up aromantic but ill let him be grayromantic as a treat. i think it compliments ryouta's demi-ness as the other part of the bbl pair. it also makes sense to me in the context of his very rare flattery in response to other people's praise, i think particularly hiyoko's. i find the thing he says in response to that one question about romantic types, the "someone who has acquired high-class refinement and etiquette. if one does not have those qualities, then they do not deserve to stand by my side," also kind of telling about sakuya's relationship to romance. obviously it's influenced by his role as a noblebirdie and the expectation he finds a partner as a political duty, but also notice how he says it in response to "who is your type?" and not something like "who do you see yourself marrying in the future?" it's not a description of personality or looks, it's a description of behavior. it's a detached response, implying that romance, to him, is not about what he finds attractive. romance is something that is EXPECTED of him. it could generally be assumed, i think, that if you actually did have a type in people, then regardless of if you were to be in an arranged marriage you would be happy to tell other people of that type. I'm sure the most common spin of this is just going to be that sakuya is really dedicated to the whole aristocrat bit but i think it reflects a lack of real interest in romantic relationships. if i were an aro prince thing and the press asked me what my type was, id probably also just respond with how my parents are going to decide who to set me up with. i'm not really looking for anything else, am i?

now. i have something controversial to say. i have gone. back and forth a hundred times on this boy and how i think he feels. and to be honest with everyone i think i might be a yuuya aromantic truther. i think yuuya is a very flirtatious aromantic little freak. and i know, right, he's like the most romantic guy in the entire cast. but it's very similar to the yuuya asexuality logic where flirting and romantic facades are simultaneously his only way of connecting to other people and yet also something that drives a wedge further between him and his connections. when he actually gets close to hiyoko, which is one of, if not the most intimate relationship he develops within the series, it's honestly not that romantic in nature. they're kinda just like. hangin out, but spy-type hangin out. like the entire post i wrote about hiyoko and yuuya's friendship. i know the whole partners-in-crime, two-of-us-against-the-world trope is usually a romantic one, but consider the beauty of the platonic version. consider the freedom. the commitment almost feels more intense when you drop the chains of romantic pressure to stay together. i think the best possible outcome of yuuya's dating route is tosakazaki qpr. besties but with COMMITMENT. besties but they love each other more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. the word queerplatonic has been ruined for me for various reasons but i just know they can reclaim it. i think yuuya might be so casual about romance and sex because he knows it's not in the cards for him. i can say your mom and i are in a committed relationship together with a completely straight face because i will never ACTUALLY be in a committed relationship with your mother. yuuya, similarly, can say he is in a committed relationship with everyone on the planet with a completely straight face because he knows he won't ever actually be in a committed relationship with anyone on the planet. it's so baller of him. i send kiss emojis to my friends and call them hot everyday but i would vomit if they got too close to me. maybe yuuya wouldn't be as touch-repulsed as the little freak i am but i think he would understand flirting as this somewhat rude way to compliment other people without getting too close. that's like. his entire thing.

ill be honest i have very little evidence for aro yuuya i just really WANT it to be real. yuuya- and hiyoko-type aromanticism is just very relatable to me. i relate to and love how they obsess over their friends, especially the way yuuya does it from a comfortable exaggerated distance that makes it clear he just wants to flatter you, and i just WANT it to be in an aro way. because i need more overtly flirtatious characters who just Do Not Want romance. because i need on a visceral level to normalise the presence of romantic elements in a completely platonic setting. making hiyoko and yuuya aromantic, to me, is my big fuck you. i will make these romantic characters aromantic and i will do it again. epic fuck you moment for the people who insist there are things that have to be romantic. epic fuck you moment for the people who claim things that don't involve them as a romantic scenario. my omnipotent level takes on these stupid bird characters are leagues ahead of your stupid baby "weah weh but he risked his life for her that's romance" incorrect IDIOT im literally living my life out of bounds and you're still debating on whether it's gay for a character to literally just CARE about another person.

okay okay i know that sounded like a conclusion but it wasn't fuck off. i'm only halfway through the main cast do you really think im done?

i think nageki is one of the characters i actually don't REALLY care about in terms of romantic identity but i've defaulted to aromantic as a defense mechanism against uncomfortable shit. i think it makes sense with his character (i love autism) and his storyline. but there's a lot of projection there too. and my feeling of protectiveness over a character i really love in such a personal way. i also think it meshes cutely with the fact that hiyoko and hitori, his SIBLINGS!! are aromantic themselves. so that's my headcanon, but honestly i don't feel THAT headstrong about it. i don't think it really makes sense in my head for him to be gay but i dont really care either way about other people's opinions on the matter. i think what bothers me is just that he's REALLY young and there is some Weird Shit that people put him in. sometimes i see him portrayed as. weirdly lustful??? or like uncomfortably obsessive? and not only is that sort of thing low-key weird as hell but like. did you play the game LMAO. clearly you don't know him like i do. sorry everybody part of being aromantic and bringing that into your favouwite tings is being PETTY AS HELL!!! that's my job here.

i thought i had more to say about nageki considering he's like. almost my oldest aro og but i kinda. don't. actually i spent an undisclosed amount of time tracking down a japanese playthrough of hatoful to see which version of "i love you" nageki used in his final speech but it honestly didn't clear very much up. and keep in mind the fact that nageki is talking from such a place of emptiness. he talks about how he fell numb to pain and hiyoko brought back feelings for him but mostly those negative ones. the ONLY positive light in his world is hiyoko. so an intense display of affection is KINDA warranted. and hypothetically it would also be possibly the most logical misunderstanding of one's own emotions in the game. idk sorry everyone hiyoko/nageki sibling dynamic for life. i've stayed in that mindset for so long that on occasion i raise an eyebrow when i see them paired together and then im like Oh. Shit. I'm Being Unreasonable Here. hey but what can you do. nageki love of my life, walking aromantic flag, please tread lightly in the scary waters of fandom spaces.

anghel higure freak of st pigeonation's high baja blast advertisement self-described martyr public-described weirdo someone id totally clock as a trans woman due to the fact that no cis man plays dungeons and dragons liberal user of eyeliner the goth asshole taking all of the GOOD chains from goodwill. an enigma of a person. when sheltered white gay people who ask "okay but are you afab or amab" say we need more weird queers they do NOT mean him. he would say something in his foreign language that roughly translates to "hey if you're a dude bangin dudes then have at em man im not gonna stop ya" and that may lead you to believe he is a straight ally but do NOT look at the yaoi in his sketchbook it reveals something about his mind. he's bisexual he's a little TOO gay he's looking up "homosexual tendencies" and clicking on sketchy medical advice websites he's a lesbian but he isn't a woman he probably isn't a man but non-binary rubs him the wrong way where's that book for parents of closeted children he's a pansexual imp who'll die happy he has no idea what pride is he thinks neopronouns are neat but has no idea how to communicate that in a way other people understand his parents keep hinting that they know he's not straight but he thinks he's keeping it under tight wraps maybe he is straight but he just doesn't FEEL straight he could never catch a date and he's happy about it he gets flattered once and catches feels the hero getting the girl in the end is too cliché but the doomed lone wolf story isn't but hypothetically his story might be cooler with a love interest how about everyone is the love interest this is his otome wait i thought he wasn't a woman and what about that pretty girl the next classroom over who is willing to larp with him is she technically a male love interest actually it's weird if he's going to date everyone how about instead everyone is attracted to him but as the accursed fallen angel he has a duty to never reciprocate he WILL puke if you hold his hand he's probably on the lgbt spectrum but honestly he doesn't care enough to figure it out right now he's got this sick cosplay project he's working on do you wanna see? yeah i don't know what anghel is. he can be aromantic if he wants. but he has to be a weird aromantic. he can be loveless or alloaro or romance favourable or fuck it he's romance repulsed or maybe he wants to kiss but that doesn't mean anything besides the fact that he likes it. it doesn't matter as long as he's weird about it. the minute he stops being weird about it he's fucked.

im sorry everybirdie i didn't realise i had so much to say about the other characters but so little about these last three. and now my transitions between subjects would be too much of a hassle to change so i could organise this into a more well-rounded balance of long rants and short tidbits. i wanted to save hitori for last because when i tried to talk about why he's aromantic i felt like the audience was more concerned with the fact that i was trashing on his popular ships than the fact that He Is Aromantic Guys I'm Being For Real He Told Me Himself. so i wanted to clarify my reasoning more thoroughly as the final character in the lineup, but im actually pretty sure that i WAS clear about why i think he's aromantic at the time, and now i don't have too much i want to say. so here's a list of bullets explaining why he's aromantic:

it makes the most sense with his storyline and character - hitori really is a character defined by his relationships to this around him, but like. in a way that he never has the spotlight. he's providing for his little siblings. he's providing support for his students. he's making it clear that hiyoko needs to learn about herself before she ever gets close with him. hell, he kills a man not out of bloodthirst or malice but as a sacrifice for his brother. he STRIVES to be alone. his baby siblings are his priority in his life and that doesn't change for a second, because like a baby bird (ha) he's made this imprint on the only people he truly associates with love and losing them was like losing what love MEANS to him. which is literally what he says himself. so like. not only does that mean other relationship archetypes are not in his field of vision, but treating his loved ones with that brotherly, somewhat overwhelming care is the only way he really knows HOW. it's how he treats kazuaki (til the end OOPS) and his students and hiyoko. and like i said. in the end of his story (as in. not mirror universe), his outcome is that he is alone without his children to look after. he goes along with hiyoko's confession in the end not because he's actually interested but because. i guess he just doesn't really have anything else to do. i don't even think he believes he can love again. i think hiyoko just goes "it's too sad that you don't want to love again :(" and then kazuaki goes "*sharp nose inhale, midwestern thigh pat* so anyway if you're still interested in that whole dating thing we can probably do that later if you want." i just really think inserting romantic love into his story after nageki is such a disservice to this entire key part of his character, that being that he REFUSES to love again after the loss of his brother. also it just feels kinda weird in a mirror scenario or whatever to make him get romantically involved with anyone SORRY i've heard that boyish charm in how he speaks i can only see confused innocence in his eyes my apologies

can you REALLY imagine him in a relationship or do you just see a generic anime guy and want to ship him with the closest twink

it makes the most sense within the themes of hatoful as a game - HELLO least romantic romance game EVER like please. this game is about appreciating the little things and learning to love life and yourself through grief THERE'S NO TIME WE'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE DROP THE SHIPS FUCK THE THEMES THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER HELP HEEEELLLLP OH NO I LOVE MY LIFE AND IM OKAY BEING ALONE EVEN THOUGH I LOST THE PEOPLE I LOVE FUCK IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT PENETEATES EVERY ROUTE GAHHHHHH

that thing he said in the character interview about "never really having thought about [his romantic type]"

it is objectively funny

a few years ago at a high school show choir showcase there was a solo about a girl who was insane and falling in love with a hot coffee barista but he actually didn't know what romance is

all of the fan content surrounding him and romance is So bad and out of character (or even half portraying him as not wanting it in the first place) that i literally cannot see him as anything but aromantic. you guys literally ruined it sorry.

women are gross and men are gross and he didn't know people could be other genders until he heard some more in-touch teenager talking about it and honestly he's still pretty confused he's supportive but it's not something he could be into even just for the fact that he's nervous about offending them

it would honestly be embarrassing if he ever got into a relationship like all of that "my siblings are everything to me" and for what. you have a girlfriend now? that's gay

speaking of which him being straight makes like a thousand times more sense than him liking men but also i hate straight people

it makes ME uncomfy so i get to have my favourite boy be aromantic because i hate everyone here

sometimes i feel like applying really specific queer labels to characters is doing them a disservice in itself, because some characters seem Weird enough to delve into niche queer spaces and find those labels, but a lot of characters don't even know what pansexual actually means and you know it. my ideal way of defining a character's orientation is by looking at what would make sense for them to be attracted to and then just saying that's what they're attracted to, rather than saying they're gay or they're straight or bi or whatever. anyway that's just what i've been trying the make clear over the course of this post besides the aromanticism of it all.

i'm writing an entirely new conclusion from the one i wrote back in january. i think that aromanticism has become more of a rebellion than anything else to me. in all facets of my life. sometimes it's just so goddamn hard to EXIST as a PERSON when it's like nobody even believes you as you are. i feel like i've lost a lot of autonomy to be anything except a memory or a story. and im not interested in being erased. but i don't think any place has ever made me feel as seen and validated and VINDICATED as the aromantic community. it's like. Fuck you. yeah im not part of any boxes you'd understand. i feel like i didn't feel such a sense of free will until i found myself here. hell. i can do WHATEVER i want. i never thought about that. literally nobody can stop me. aromanticism cuts so many ties from other people's realities and what they believe to be real. so many people HATE aromanticism or what it stands for even if they don't want to admit it. and that is everything to me.

but in a fandom space, where rules are so much more rigid than they appear, where you come to share your favourite things with other people and only find that everyone is trying to make it known that their opinion is the Most Correct One about your beloved series or franchise or whatever the hell, it's like. kinda really hard to exist. as an aromantic and as a member in general. the other day i saw a community post on youtube by this girl who got popular in a niche community and she was just really conflicted because on one hand she wanted to move on from the space and make things she actually was interested in but on the other hand she didn't want to give up what she loved about this game and she also didn't want to lose her audience. and man the amount of times i've seen that shit is pretty disheartening. it's really not an unfounded fear. i have SEEN people who do cool stuff die out because they got popular for something very specific. it's so draining to motivation for them and it's always a shame to see people you like give up because they just don't matter to very many others. my point by bringing this story up is to just give an example that i saw recently of how suffocating fandom is. people are mean, man. for a lot of people fan spaces are freeing and happy but i feel like sometimes we just forget that they'll never be as good as just having a group of friends in real life to discuss your favourite things with. because the internet is designed to divide and organise and if we're being honest i think a lot of people fall into the trap of feeding the cycle of trying to make fandom this Very Specific Thing when it's really just a bunch of guys. and god. people who participate in fandom. well by default they are already very online and so g-dang it they're kinda just pricks. and sometimes the sheer amount of mental disorder within these spaces it. y'know don't fuckin deny it man it adds to the assholeness sometimes.

so like. being such a small minority within fandom, as an aromantic, is also my rebellion here. fuck you. i'm not falling into the tropes assigned seemingly at random to force a dynamic between characters. i can see without the blurred lens of the Shipping Glasses™. i am pretty sure that being aromantic kinda makes the grasp on characterisation a little stronger because im not looking at things the same way some other people are. sorry to be on my high horse everyone. Enjoying your hobby vs. Joining the subreddit for that hobby. everything is aromantic. i have a beam for it. i'm sorry to all of the other aros who feel excluded from fan spaces because of the sheer invasiveness that comes with shipping culture and amatonormativity and just plain Assholes within fan spaces. just something i've been thinking about for like. fucking. a few years idk. all of the hatoful characters have that aro in them because i couldn't give less of a shit about bad takes (bad takes being They Are Not Aromantic). i've got good takes. this is aromanticism baby. okay i'm gonna go hang myself from a tree now bye bye.

#happy aromantic day of visibility everybirdie #hatoful boyfriend #aromantic #tidbits

[alexanderwales]

Epistolary Novels and the Modern Age

"Epistolary" is one of those words that I always feel awkward about, because it's a rare word describing a rare thing, which means that I have to say "an epistolary novel, one composed mostly of letters between characters", but then I feel as though this might be redundant and insulting, like the person I'm talking to just wants me to get on with it, because of course they know what an epistolary novel is, and the fact that I have clarified it for them is insulting.

Anyway, I have a particular love of writing letters, and so have a particular love of epistolary novels. I think it would be great if they made a comeback.

We talk to people online, and they have a profile picture, and maybe the occasional photo that reveals their physical form, but text is mostly how you get to know them. You get to understand their grammar, the clusters of concepts they're drawn to, their affection for the em-dash and parentheticals of all kinds, the way they'll resurrect a conversation from days before, which shows that it was on their mind. You read the pauses in their discord messages for meaning. You somehow divine their tone from whether a sentence has a period or not.

And then there's something magical that happens if you meet them in person: you get to learn them all over again. Their mind is the same, that hasn't changed, but all the grammar is suddenly different. They talk with their hands, or have long pauses looking up at the ceiling while they think about things, or are quick with a joke in a way that you would not at all have expected. Maybe you had some sense that they were always stoically typing away at their computer with a cup of tea beside them when you read their responses, but in person they smile and nod a lot, grinning as they listen to whatever you're saying.

I think the thing that I've read that comes closest to interrogating this is @nostalgebraist's The Northen Caves, which holds a place in my heart for the way it talks about this weird divide, and the way it nails differences in how people talk online.

Of course I want to write an epistolary novel, and secondarily, a modern epistolary novel that's about email and discords and tumblr and whatever. I want to write All the Novels. It feels like there's something to say about how we relate to each other. But unlike a letter, which comes in and is read all at once, the online stuff is pervasive, and I don't think that a simple transcript would be enough — wouldn't catch all of the anxiety of waiting on the three little dots to resolve into words, or the feeling of typing something in and deleting it.

I'm at a convention right now, and have met a bunch of people whose stuff I've read, and people who have read my stuff, and sometimes, people I've interacted with online. Sometimes I know them well enough to know their textual quirks and tics, the energy that they bring to a blog post, and it's set my mind whirling with ideas about how I can harness this dissonance for novel-writing purposes. And sometimes it goes the other way, meeting a person at a campfire, wondering vaguely what their deal is, and then reading through a dozen of their most insightful blog posts, which give a very different view of who they are.

I don't know form either of these novels will take, whether the idea of people being different in different environments has something to say about anything. There's meat here though: I can smell it.

(There's a tumblr post going around about wet drip narrators who were only in novels of the 18th century because of a demand that there be a diegetic reason for the text to exist, and this is one of the reasons that epistolary novels saw a rise in readership — the letters exist, so it's easy for the reader to suspend their disbelief of how they could come to be holding this text.)

#writing #overlapping realms #online #fiction #epistolary #epistolary novel

[saintkaylaa]

𝜗ৎ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐏𝐚𝐩𝐚!𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐗 𝐌𝐚𝐦𝐚!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖, 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡/𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐦 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲, 𝐅!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐈𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬, 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐎𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐒𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hi to this really late 🎊 anon request! I’m so glad to have finally finished this because it was such a good request and it never left my mind. I was just in school still when you asked so it took me a bit longer sorry! Choso strictly calling reader “mama” as soon as he gets her pregnant is canon. I don’t make the rules I just enforce them.

𝐈 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬

“I don’t understand.”

You watched Choso in the mirror as he cocked his head to the side. His brows furrowed in obvious confusion.

Looking back at yourself in the mirror you traced your fingertips across the white and purplish red marks clawing up your stomach, leading them into the wrinkles close to your navel.

You sighed, “Stretch marks are what happens when your skin undergoes rapid weight changes.”

You explained, letting your hands fall away and slumping down at your sides as your eyes skimmed over your body with critique.

It had changed a lot since having your first child with Choso. Only really earning a few stretch marks that faded almost immediately once giving birth, and your love handles that had grown just a bit plushier. It bothered you at first but before you could even voice those self hating thoughts to Choso he had pointed them out in a positive way.

“Wow, these are beautiful.” He had whispered with awe and curiosity, his thrusts into you slowing down and tracing the stretch marks that were now mostly faded across the dip of your waist.

He hadn’t seen them before, at least not this closely. It had been the first time you two were having sex again after your first daughter was born. So now that he was this close to you the marks were clearer.

You wanted to cover them up almost immediately with the nearest blanket, even though Choso had just said they were beautiful. You just didn’t feel like it.

He noticed this in your eyes, as you looked off to the side as if ashamed of something. He lowered himself down to his elbows to kiss along your exposed neck. His hips rolling into you in a slower rhythm.

“What’s wrong mama?” He asked, his tone trying to sound more concerned than anything else.

Your eyes fluttered trying to focus on his question and not on the way his cock felt so good moving languidly inside you. It gave you that wonderful sense of familiarity of being full with the man you loved.

“I don’t—“ You sighed blissfully, struggling to answer him. Arms encircling his neck to bring him flush against you for that skin to skin contact you craved.

Choso hummed in response, his arms wedging themselves between you and the matress to tie you up in his stronge, safe arms.

“I don’t feel beautiful because of them…” You managed, and then his hips stopped.

After another moment of stillness you loosened your arms around his neck so that you could meet his eyes. Dark saturated violet eyes starring at you with a confusion that you were so used to from him, accentuated by the disapproving worried furrow of his brows.

“But you are beautiful.” He murmured, brushing his nose against yours.

You shrugged slightly, flitting your gaze away from him in embarrassment for only a moment before pulling away from his neck completely.

“But I don’t feel it.” you insisted meekly.

“I can help you feel it, mama.” He said matter of factly, like it was that easy.

Then he was moving away from you and down your body on a mission to make good on his promise.

His hands touching you with adoration in tandem with his mouth that worshiped every inch of skin it came into contact with.

His words of affirmation and worship over the body you were growing to hate were melting away and into the matress he was pushing you into with his body.

After that night your self-deprecation ceased, and that was mostly thanks to Choso and his sincere love and appreciation he had for you and your body. What it could do, what it had done, the family you two were growing and nurturing together.

But that was then, and this was now. Your body had given Choso 2 more babies since then, and the toll it took on your body was more visually taxing on you.

When you were done scrutinizing yourself in the mirror your eyes found his again— as they always did. Finding comfort in the half curse, more man, that never failed to provide you support, comfort, and most of all love. Love for you, who you were, what you could do. All of the things that made you so intricately and beautifully you.

He smiled with warmth at you before getting up and joining you at the mirror. Fully prepared and expecting him to tell you exactly all the love he had for you, touching you with gentle adoration, but to your surprise he didn’t do that.

Coming up behind you he kissed you once at the crook of your neck, and then lowered himself down on his knees in front of you.

“Choso, what are you—“ Your breathy chuckle halted by the sensation of his large gentle hands skimming over your thighs. Tracing over the uneven dips of them with his fingertips, brushing his knuckles over the fat of your love handles that had grown fuller since that night he made those self destructive thoughts go away.

You could feel his warm breath on your cunt and it made the pit of your stomach flutter.

“I’m gonna show you just how beautiful you are. He kissed the top of your cunt softly, then with half lidded eyes he looked up at you again.

“I’m gonna make you feel it.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in the form of a breathless sigh. Your hand reaching forward to brush back the loose hair in his face, knowing that what he was going to do next also warranted that you held on to something. Now desperate for him to sooth your needy clit.

“Choso you…” you whisper his name like a prayer, looking down at him with wild anticipation. Equal parts excited and moved by the holy sight below you. On his knees like worship. Touching you in an almost sacred like manner.

With an unadulterated adoration burning within him, he closes the distance between his lips and your wet cunt. Kissing your folds tender as if kissing your lips while his hands rubs soothing patterns across your love handles and your ass.

His tongue then dips into your folds, the tip of his tongue finding your wet hole and licking up to trace slow, delicious circles against your sensitive clit. The sensations spread through your body like wildfire, leaving you gasping and tightening your fingers around his hair.

Choso knows what he’s doing. He knows that he devours your cunt like a devout worshipper. Expertly pleasing every inch of your sex, just the way you like it, alternating between gentle licks and firm, devouring strokes.

You bend over slightly to brace yourself on the mirror, glancing up at yourself and taking in the sight of Choso completely buried in your cunt like he belonged there, and seeing the way he fit against you like this in the mirror really convinced you more. Moaning out, you let your head fall forward, lost in the pleasure. Your hips begin to move on their own, grinding against his mouth, desperate to continue building up that mind-numbing orgasm that was starting to bloom at the center of your pelvis.

Choso’s grip on your thighs tightens, keeping you firmly in place as he continues to feast on your sweet essence. The sounds you’re making urging him to continue, lighting a fire in his blood that was quickly reaching down into his cock. He so desperately wanted to palm himself to help alleviate his suffering, but this was about you. So he had to just perceiver.

The pleasure coursing through your body builds higher and higher, the need for release reaching a desperate crescendo and you think your knees might give out.

"Choso," you croak, your voice trembling now that he was sucking on your clit and shaking his head in added sensation. Having raised one of you legs over his shoulder so that he had deeper access to your cunt. Probing at your dripping hole with his tongue.

"I want to cum..." You whine, both hands flying to the back of his head to hold him in place and fuck his tongue with feverish urgency. Then his fingers slid themselves into you, and scissoring into you at the same tempo as his tongue, and you couldn’t help but let a slew of profanities leave your mouth. God, it was coming. That mind-numbing orgasm was creeping up on you fast, and you knew you were going to cum hard.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in preparation when you feel Choso push up on your pussy, grab your jaw, and pull your attention down on him to watch yourself drag your cunt hard against his hot, skilled tongue. Violet eyes that held galaxies in them were looking up at you like you were the one to create them, and that was the thought that did you in. 

That Choso looked at you not only like you hung the fucking moon and stars up in the sky, but that you commanded them to take shape and form. He adored you. He worshipped you with the reverence of a devout follower, seeing you as the embodiment of grace, strength, and beauty in every moment. Devoted enough to fall to his knees and want you to cum right on his face like it was his greatest honor.

With a high pitched cry, a mind numbing orgasm consumed you like a fucking tidal wave.

Choso hummed in sweet pleasure, pulling his fingers out of your sopping cunt to grab your ass and love handle hard to hold you in place as you gushed into his mouth.

He revels in the taste of your divinity, his tongue continuing its relentless worship on your sensitive clit even as your body convulses in pleasure and you want to squeeze your thighs together for relief. He relishes the feeling of your hands gripping his head, urging him closer, deeper. He doesn’t think he belongs anywhere else but between your legs.

He continues to lap at your dripping core to prolong your pleasure, his eyes locked with yours. The sight of your face, scrunched in ecstasy, ignites an even fiercer hunger within him. His cock leaky and twitching.

When Choso knows you’ve finished completely he pulls back, his gaze locked firmly on your face as he speaks in a low, hoarse voice, "You look so beautiful when you come. I could watch you like this for eternity."

You breathe out a tired laugh when he stands up to take your face in his hands. His mouth glistening with your cum and you don’t think he could ever look as beautiful as he does now.

“When I look at you, I see a sacred beauty of creation.” He says, kissing you tenderly.

“Mother of children I didn’t know I could have.” He kisses along your jaw, one hand roaming down your chest while the other holds your face against him. Lost in this new pleasure, you only notice that he’s guided you back towards the bed when you feel the edge of it hit the back of your legs.

“Goddess of this home…” He whispers warmth against your ear just after he’s kissed you in the most sensitive part of your neck, and your breath quickens. Your hands close over his wrist as you try to meet his eyes again but it’s hard. You’re losing yourself in him.

You can’t help it. Choso’s love for you is so disorienting in the best possible way. It’s so easy to get lost in him and you half wonder if he’s obtained some new power that only afflicts you.

“Choso…” Your voice comes out much hoarser than you expected, and you wonder if he can feel your skin burning up again under his gaze.

His eyes follow his fingers as they lightly brush the stray hairs in your face away.

Choso wonders if you’ve obtained a new power that only afflicts him, and if you have he never wants to break away from it.

“Mama I don’t ever wanna hear you say such horrible things about yourself like that again.”

You feel overwhelmed by his words.

You feel like crying by thought of looking at yourself in his eyes. Oh how you wished you could see yourself in his eyes…

“You breathe the very life of this family.” He kisses the corner of your mouth as you both settle into bed together.

Everything starts to blur together. You can’t decipher what his words are from his actions because it all makes you feel the same. Beautiful, raw, desirable, worshipped, divine, supremely real, and wholeheartedly loved.

You can tell now you’re crying because of how hot the droplets feel gliding down your face as you kiss him.

“With you I am complete.” He murmurs against your lips and takes your breath away.

Your eyes finally lock on his and you gasp, feeling Choso slide his cock into you slowly, and you both moan into each other.

And in him you discover the true essence of your existence.

𝜗𝜚𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

© saintkaylaa 2023-2024 do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work with out permission. reserved rights to any original ideas. I do not own any established characters. All rights reserved.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #choso drabbles #choso headcanons #papa!choso #dad!choso #choso #choso kamo #choso x female reader #choso x you #choso smut #choso x y/n #choso x reader #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso my beloved #choso x curvy!reader #choso x chubby reader

[blush-and-books]

Also thoughts on finale!!!!!

AHHH OK I HAVE A LOT

1. Yes, felt a bit like a rushed finale, trying to tie up loose ends and whatnot. It is what it is, but in the 16-episode seasons the writers definitely were able to pace things insanely well, so you feel how clipped they are in this 10-episode season.

2. I was totally misled by fics and other posts that Harvey like pressured her into marrying him and that he had decided to move to Seattle without us getting to see them talk about it, but I was pleasantly surprised to not feel that way about how it went down!! When Donna brought up the concern that their families weren't there, he instantly said they'd do it again, and IDK something in Donna's vibe was just giving of crazy "yes I need to marry you right now" energy. The man she's been pining after for years is literally proposing to her with his grandmother's ring THAT HE WAS KEEPING IN HIS POCKET!!!! yeah i would fold and have an impulse wedding too. she got her bag!!

about Seattle, I made a post about this but lowkey it felt like an idea that Donna had, knowing that Harvey was leaving the firm and that with everything that's happened, they both needed a change of pace and a support system in Mike and Rachel. Huge bummer that we don't get to see how the decision was made, but her adamant behavior in telling Louis that they both want to leave and also her checking in with Harvey and asking HIM "are you sure you want to do this" felt very much like she was checking in because he had agreed to HER plan, not the other way around. She's very clearly comfortable and happy with the decision. We love to see it.

3. When Louis mentioned (before the Faye takedown) that him, Donna, and Harvey were all that was left of PEARSON HARDMAN, I fucking cried. I hadn't heard any of the characters call it PH in so long and it was a crazy realization that they really were the originals from before the series had even started.

4. Donna's dress was so beautiful at the wedding I kept looking at it like 🥹

5. Donna saying in her vows that 100 years would never be enough time with Harvey.... Yeah I felt that. They wasted so much time not being together that now, no amount of time is enough.

6. WE FINALLY GOT TWO FULL "I LOVE YOUs" FROM HARVEY TO DONNA LMAO

7. I wish after the wedding they were at least a little more affectionate with each other and we got one more "my wife"/"my husband" (DONNA DESERVES TO FLAUNT HER BAG!!!! (her bag is harvey <33)). Like I wish we just got a little more juice or something about them being excited to do this next chapter together or whatever. But oh well that's what fanfiction is for

8. When Donna instantly went to hold Lucy first and Harvey was just smiling at them.... Oh my mind was at WORK!!!

9. As iconic as it would have been for darvey to be walking out of the offices together, I actually really appreciated that last moment between Donna and Louis, because their friendship is incredibly strong and I liked that it was acknowledged!!! And having Harvey be the last one out was just very iconic like yeah I ate that up that's our man

10. name partner katrina bennett my beloved <333

Sorry for the long post!!! Thank you for asking about my thoughts I'd love to hear how you feel about any of the bits and just how the episode goes overall

(I also cannot wait for Netflix to finally drop season nine so I can get more darvey stills at last)

#chloes answers #suits tv #darvey #donna paulsen #harvey specter #HARVEY SPECTER!!!!! #louis litt #suits spoilers

[starbeamssovereign]

Sorry I didn't see any of your older posts, but what's SilentIvory?

Oh wait I just looked and I realized what it was nvm

But can I get a Silent Salt + Longan Dragon x fragile reader? Could be hcs or a one shot if you like

SilentIvory x Fragile Reader: Cuddle Time!

(Yes this is a ship between Longan and Silent Salt + the reader. Don’t come at me I just really like these two.)

Summary: You, as a fragile and sweet Cookie can’t help but be…cherished? Yes, that would be the word. Cherished by your Dragon and Beast Cookie lovers. It isn’t really that bad, the three of you getting all cozy together. You just have to ignore the fact that they’re both murderers and Longan actually ate Cookies-

TW: Bickering. Old marriage kind shit. Beast x Dragon, and all this is my personal headcanons turned into lil oneshot

The evening was…surprisingly peaceful. Usually there’d be some mumbling and bickering coming from your two partners, Silent Salt and Longan. Despite living with them for quite a while, they always treated you as a child. It was probably because you’ve been known to be frail for your whole life. They treated you like a glass swan, basically. You loved them both, of course…but there were times where you knew you could handle a task and they’d baby you.

You quietly stepped over to the bedroom, where you overheard a little whisper. Longan, you thought, was the one speaking. You knew their voice was that soothing yet intimidating voice, while Silent Salt’s voice was more…quiet, perhaps raspy in a way.

“We should rest. There is no use in arguing.”

“…self-absorbed…nightmare fuel.” Silent Salt had grumbled back, and a scoff came from the dragon.

You noticed that Silent Salt turned their head towards you, seeing you in the doorway and calmly walking over to look at you. Their helmet was off, you noticed. Scars were littered across their face, and their blind eyes softened despite not truly seeing you. After all, their helmet was enchanted, letting the knight see whatever came their way and more. Vulnerable was an understatement when it came to your quiet partner, so you were lucky that they trusted you and Longan enough for them to take away something as precious as sight.

“Ah, our apologies, y/n. Just some bickering, nothing that would concern you.” The dragon murmured, walking over to you and pressing a kiss to your forehead before picking you up and taking you to bed. The Ivory Dragon could see your small frown and frustrated look, and they raised a brow in confusion.

“You’re upset. Why is that?” While the dragon was quite the intellectual, they certainly couldn’t process the fact that you were upset about something. It unsettled them, in a way. After all, they were the all-knowing and all-seeing Longan Dragon themself. It frustrates them when something happened without their knowledge of it.

“I just wish that you would both stop treating me as if I’m a child. You know that’s not what I am. I know of the things you’ve done, the cookies you’ve harmed and plan to harm….and I can’t help but feel left out. I wouldn’t mind hearing the two of you bickering. It makes me smile. I’ve had a few petty comments about you myself.”

“…” Silent Salt’s ears practically perked up, and they started to walk over to you and Longan, before reaching out for your face. You allowed them to with a soft smile. The knight could practically feel your smile brightening them up, and they smiled back.

“…you’re right, I suppose. Come…time to rest…” murmured the Beast in their raspy tone, eagerly grabbing onto both yours and Longan’s hand and dragging the two of you to bed. Of course, Silent Salt had already gotten used to almost all the rooms within the Lustrous Longan Palace. There was no need to doubt that.

—

As the three of you settled into bed, Silent Salt taking off the last of their armor and changing into more comfortable attire, they walked back to the lavish bed, wrapping their arms around you tightly and pressing little, yet ticklish pecks to your shoulders and cheek. Longan stared at the two of you and couldn’t help but let out a content sigh, before wrapping their much more larger arms around Silent Salt and you, effectively and effortlessly spooning you both.

“You two are like little mice compared to me. It’s amusing, is it not?”

“And what are you, a snake?”

“…don’t compare me to a lowly serpent.”

“But you were practically asking for that.”

“…shush. Rest so we can…argue about it tomorrow.”

#silent salt x reader #silent salt cookie x reader #longan my beloved #longan dragon x reader #silentivory shipping #silentivory #longan dragon x silent salt cookie #crk x reader #cookie run ovenbreak #crk x you

[warpedpuppeteer]

i just don't trust these major network showrunners and writers to actually write buddie to its logical and rightful conclusion. I've followed so many shows and observed so many fandoms over the years, so many amazingly layered characters with extraordinary bonds that spawned popular and beloved ships. And each and every one of those ships were used to bait viewers without ever going canon, this way they get the views from the ship fans as well as the more general fans. The only difference in 911 is they somehow managed to make Buck canonically bi, which is a huge deal for a main male lead on a network procedural show. Yet they immediately slapped him with an underdeveloped character who has zero onscreen chemistry with buck, and relegated their relationship to the background entirely. Almost like the networks's checking off a box and being done with it.

if buddie is in the grand plan, I feel like there should've been some onscreen textual hints already this season after buck came out. But there's been nothing from any of the characters, and it's just heartbreaking. I'll remain a buddie truther for the rest of my life, but it really does feel like the show is trying to draw the line in the sand to say "buck and Eddie are bros only," even if the way the show does this is to forcibly retcon/erase all of the buddie buildup over all these seasons.

Sorry Non for not answering this for awhile. I absolutely understand where you're coming from as I've also been a part of fandoms for a long time especially ones who gleefully use queerbaiting to keep fans interested. I think the biggest difference between 911 and other shows is that generally other shows don't have any queer characters or only minor queer characters. 911 however has a main queer couple (henren) and plenty of side queer characters/pairs as well. So that's an advantage for us; this means they're very much open to a queer storyline.

We've gotten bi Buck which is a very big deal for not only queer representation but also in regards to Buddie. The are clearly aware this is something we want and they've told us that it has been discussed in the past for Eddie to be queer as well so they have definitely at some point discussed making Buddie canon. The actors are down for this as well (Oliver no. 1 buddie truther). The setback seems to have come from the network before so it couldn't happen. But things are changing with the new network.

The reason I think they haven't made Buddie canon yet is that it was simply too short of a season for them to do so. Also it seems like there have been a lot of issues with this season and a lot of it was written hastily. Tim probably had completely different stories in mind for the characters but I guess things like scheduling issues put a wrench in it (Natalia's actress had a scheduling issue and the issue with Marisol's actress). I think Tim had planned completely different arcs for Buck and Eddie in regards to their relationship but had to just do whatever to finish the season because of the issue with the actresses. I think he introduced Tommy as a sort of placeholder for the moment because they couldn't expand Buck's bi story just yet. This was also probably to test the audiences' acceptance of a main character being queer after 6 seasons and to test how much leeway they have with the network. This doesn't mean I agree with what he did because I actually hate it lol. Leaving them both single would have made much more sense than introducing another shit character/actor who only created a divide in the fandom and brought in absolute weirdos into it.

Honestly I could go on forever on why I think Buddie being canon is in the books but for now all I can say is that don't give up just yet! I personally think there's been a lot of deliberate choices this season that were made to jump start the 'making Buddie canon process'. Give it another season at least! If they don't get together, I'm hoping there would at least be a CLEAR indication that they're heading there towards the end of season 8. If they don't do anything of that sort then we can consider giving up on them and living happily in our fanon bubble. But for now stay with us! There's much hope yet!!

Also sorry if this got rambly and doesn't make much sense! My inbox is always open and you can shoot me a message if you wanna discuss or vent more!

#dagger answers asks #answered asks #buddie #eddie diaz #911 abc #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #anti lou ferrigno jr

[sovonight]

,

#ohhhhhhh i really do dislike the tonal shift in bg2/tob so much........ and by that i mean mostly in xan's mod 😭 #i mean maybe the sense of betrayal and disappointment is immersive but it really leaves me with No idea what to do with him #in my version of radri's story. like. do i do my best even with all the parts i find ooc? do i cherry pick what i want and forget the rest? #and even after all my complaints i keep thinking back to his author. the fact that somehow this is the *intended* experience #currently feeling like the necromancer who resurrected their wife and is convinced she came back wrong but who just never truly knew her #i keep going back to 'estel'amin'. the fact that xan named charname his hope--and then quickly stopped using that name for her #once her bhaalspawn nature continued to affect her life after the conclusion of bg1 #so--basically--i'm to assume that he changed his mind? she's no longer his hope; his light; and if she is it's rare #he just calls her beautiful now; something far more shallow #and the fact that in tob he vacillates between subtly criticizing her for her nature which she has no control over #(and which in radri's case she has never even willingly given in to)-- #and attempting to comfort her after her nature makes bad things happen to her & around her #--but then his comfort is once again undermined by the aforementioned shallow compliments #it's coming across as 'i love your body despite what you are in spirit' and really isn't a great look at all #look maybe i'm crazy but in bg1 i got the impression that he was able to accept and move past it fairly quickly #like 'ok you're a bhaalspawn so now let's move into problem solving. obviously i have to quit my job and travel with you full time' #but in bg2 he spends most of his time lamenting about how hard it must be for her to live like this #while also pointing it out as a personal flaw of hers. as if she'd had any say in who her father was #like there are npcs literally shouting 'i hate all bhaalspawn!' and here he is--supposedly her closest supporter-- #also subtly saying 'i hate bhaalspawn' right to her face #when literally as a neutral alignment and as a companion of 1-2 years-- he should actually have THE most nuanced take on her??? #in bg1 he says murder is unavoidable in the life of an adventurer. then in tob he comments that charname kills everyone haphazardly-- #--as though in another jab to her nature. meanwhile as a constant companion he should know better than anyone that it wasn't so simple #idk. i'm almost feeling gaslighted by the narrative in a sense #because when everyone else talks about xan in bg2/tob--including charname via the dialogue options/written internal dialogue-- #they say that he's ~gray~ and calm and collected and emotionless etc #meanwhile he's literally the most emotional guy in the game. like. he's freaked out SO many times #so?? how am i supposed to take anything here genuinely?? how am i supposed to engage??? SIGH #anyway today's my first day at my new job and i have to wake up in 2 hours & im certain that i'll be too nervous to eat today #my goal for today is just to not be fired 👍 12 hours from now it will be over...

[learn-and-accept]

Throughout my life I've had a lot of opinions on the whole "you can't love someone until you love yourself" thing and now that I'm in love with some I know for certain that it's absolute bullshit

#i think the more nuanced meaning of that idea is loving and respecting yourself helps to ensure your love is healthy and not destructive #but holy shit the quote as is is so cruel and objectively wrong #loving and being loved has helped me so much in my journey of self love and self acceptance #my self esteem is not dependent on my partner but god do they help improve it #i feel so loved fully and completely and that's something so incredible that i find it difficult to accurately articulate it #the parts of me that i feel shame and embarrassed over are loved and appreciated by a person so wonderful #and that it forces me to reframe them in my own mind #i think thaf quote had good intentions i really do but god it fucked me up more than I realized #*that #loving my girlfriend and being loved by her has been healing in so many ways that i dont think id ever be able to accomplish on my own #and that's okay #we're social animals we're supposed to have relationships and those relationships are supposed to help and improve us #no matter what happens between us i will always appreciate the ways loving and being loved by them has changed me #anyway i saw someone talking about this the other day and I couldn't stop thinking about it #and I'm emotional and sentimental so im gonna get mushy about it lol #personal

[illyrianbitch]

And I'm Thinking About Your Lips

Pairing: Reader x Cassian

Summary: You and Cassian have been best friends since you were teenagers-- just friends. But one night at Rita's changes everything and now you cant breathe when you're around him and he can't stop imagining how you'd taste.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT! like porn with plot aka: best friends to lovers, sexual tension, alcohol use, drunken handsy moments, two dummies in love, male masturbation, unprotected PIV, fingering (f receiving), oral (f & m receiving), dirty talk, sex sex sex! we love sex!!

Word Count: 19k (a biggie!)

a/n: heavily inspired by my fav song mistakes like this by prelow. give it a listen for the vibes ;) I was going to make this multiple parts but decided against it. lets imagine Rita's like a lil more modern club okay mwuah enjoy.

Part Two

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Rita's was loud.

On busy nights like these, the place was a complete sensory overload– live music with thumping bass and swirling laughter. The air was thick with the mingling scents of sweat, perfume, and the occasional waft of arousal, a delicious smell that often lingered in Rita’s. You loved nights like these, loved the energy that came with finally being able to let go. You let out a content sigh as you watched people dance across the dimly lit club, enjoying the music that vibrated through their bones.

You stood next to Cassian at the bar, leaning against the smooth surface as you awaited the drinks you had ordered. He was in the middle of telling you a story-- or at least you think it was a story. You couldn't tell.

"What?" you exclaimed loudly, leaning forward in a futile attempt to decipher his response. Frustration etched across your face, you took a step back, gazing up at Cassian. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you shook your head while gesturing emphatically to your ears. "I can't hear," you mouthed, hoping he'd understand.

Cassian's initial confusion gave way to realization, his mouth forming a distinct "Ooooh." Leaning down, he bridged the distance between you, his lips hovering above your ear  to deliver his words in a loud whisper.

And then it happened—a giggling drunk couple bumped into Cassian, disrupting his balance. His lips, which had initially hovered near your ears, now made a brief but intimate contact, running along the shell of your ear. 

Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins, the warmth permeating your entire body. Or perhaps it was the pulsating energy of the crowded dancefloor. Whatever it was, you felt it—a shiver tracing a path down your neck, following the curve of your spine. Awareness dawned on you—his proximity, his breath on your ears, the almost electric closeness of your cheeks, the way his disheveled hair framed his face.

He pulled away, a smile playing on his lips. He mouthed something, but you were lost in a daze, barely registering that those plump, red lips were actually forming words.

"Y/n?" he called out, raising his voice to be heard over the music. "You got that?"

Blinking, you shook your head, dispelling the lingering traces of your thoughts. A smile curved on your lips as you replied, "Yup." 

You had no idea what he said, hadn't caught a word of what he was whispering in your ear. But at that moment, it didn't seem to matter. Internally, you chastised yourself— it's just the alcohol, that's all it is. After all, Cassian had always been attractive. You just happened to be drunk and noticed it a little bit more. Appreciating the beauty of your best friend, completely platonically. 

The bartender returned with your ordered drinks, placing them on the bar with a lingering gaze that hinted at an appreciation for more than just the cocktail he had crafted—one directed entirely at you. Your attention, however, was occupied by the lively atmosphere around you as you spared the bartender a quick glance, grabbing your drink. Cass, on the other hand, picked up on the admiration, staring at the bartender and tucking away the information in the back of his mind.

As you both turned to leave, Cassian's movements synchronized with yours and his arm rubbed against your own, sending a subtle brush of warmth through you. You paused for a beat. The warmth was still there. You hated it. A realization dawned – you needed more alcohol. 

With a silent determination, you gave Cassian a "one moment" gesture, holding up a finger. Cass watched as you turned back toward the bar, leaning forward to catch the bartender's attention. When he turned to face you, you placed your hand lightly over his. 

"Actually," you said with a smile, “Can we get two extra shots? Of your strongest." 

The bartender gave you a smile back and nodded in acknowledgment. In no time, two additional shots, robust and potent, joined the lineup, arranged neatly on the polished surface. Cassian frowned, flickering his gaze between you and the shots. You felt his presence as he leaned in and instinctively took a step back, not turning to look him in the eyes.

“We’re taking another round?” 

“Nope.” You said, popping the p. Without hesitation, you downed them both with a practiced ease. Finally, you looked up at him, making a face as the liquor made its way down your throat. “Those were for me.” Your voice came out in a croak.

Cassian raised an eyebrow in surprise, a playful smirk playing on his lips. 

“Someone is getting hammered tonight."

You simply nodded, a nonchalant "mhmm" escaping your lips. The alcohol ignited a warmth that spread through your veins, momentarily overshadowing any reservations. With the edge taken off, you were ready to rejoin your friends– with the exception of Amren, who was “too busy” to join tonight. 

Cassian led the way back to the booth, his hand finding its familiar place at the small of your back. Cass always did this when at Ritas, a gesture to ensure that you weren’t swept away by the sea of people. Yet, this time, it felt different. As he guided you through the lively crowd, you couldn't ignore the heat that radiated from his touch. Your heart quickened its pace. Its the alcohol-induced haze, you told yourself. Thats all. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Two hours later, Rita’s was still pulsating with energy and you were absolutely wasted. The vibrant atmosphere seemed to blend seamlessly with the warmth of your intoxication and everything around you seemed to echo with life.

You, Mor, and Feyre slowly returned to the booth for a much-needed break, hands interlaced with one another and glasses still full, waiting to be enjoyed. In your inebriated state, you teetered back and forth as you made your way to the booth, plopping down next to your best friend.

At your arrival, Cassian sat up right, waiting for you to do what you always did—lay your head on his shoulder. And, like clockwork, you fell into place, your head finding its familiar spot on Cassian's shoulder. 

"Look who decided to join the land of the living," Cassian teased as he nudged you gently. You felt him adjust his seating, his wings moving to accommodate your presence. The booths at Rita’s were large, the seats extra wide and spacious— for many reasons. You didn’t think too long about the ways people used the extra space. 

Instead, you chuckled at Cassian’s comment, the alcohol-infused haze making everything seem delightfully amusing. "Jus' exploring alternate universes on the danceflooooooor." 

The sound of your voice and the way you dragged out your words set Cassian into a small fit of laughter, a rich melody that blended with the music. The sound vibrated through his body and you felt his chest and his shoulders rise with it. The laughter resonated in your own as a result.

"Alternate universes, huh?” He asked, “That why you were grinding on Mor like a horned-up teenager?"

Craning your head slightly to look up at him, you gasped dramatically, feigning offense. He was already looking at you, his face tilted to the side to meet your eyes. There was a clear sense of amusement written into his face, the corners of his mouth turned up, a certain glow in his eyes. 

"I was not! How dare you judge me?" With a determined glint in your, now narrowed, eyes you added, "I never judge how you practically dry hump every woman you dance with."

Your best friend's lips curled into a grin, and his eyebrows lifted for a moment. There was a playful roll of his lips before he nodded, slightly chuckling. You got him there. 

"Okay, whatever."

You watched as he took a sip of his drink with his other hand, then lowered it to rest the glass on his knee. Leaning back a bit, a small giggle escaped your lips at nothing in particular. Then, you let out a laugh. 

"You're wasted." Cassian stated matter of factly, turning his head to look at where yours lay on his shoulder. Your laughter continued for a moment, ending with a sound of content. 

"Maybe." You replied as you leaned back a little, your head lolling backwards. Your eyes, framed by thick lashes, found Cassian's. You looked at him for a moment, taking in his face, his intense gaze focused on you.

"You're real attractive, Cass," you murmured, the words carrying a sincerity that caught him off guard.

Cassian didn't know why his heart leaped at your words. This wasn't something new. You had complimented him multiple times before. He knew he was attractive-- he knew you knew he was attractive. But there was something different this time, something in the way you bit your lip, gnawing at it with your teeth, the genuine look in your eyes.

"You think so?" he said. You wondered how his voice could be so soft, yet so husky. How was that possible?

You nodded lazily, not breaking the intense eye contact. "Mhm," you affirmed.

Cassian's gaze shifted, and suddenly he found himself studying your face. Your head tilted back, he took in the sight of your lips, the stunning makeup enhancing your features. You were gorgeous, he’d always known this-- everyone who saw you thought the same. But you were best friends, and the strength of your bond lessened the urge to explore thoughts of you that went farther than simple observation.

"You're not too bad yourself."

You perked up a bit.

"Yeah?" you asked eagerly.

Cassian gave a chuckle at your enthusiastic reply, noticing the way your eyes lit up behind their drunken haze. But before he could say anything more, Mor appeared, her hands outstretched, ready to pull you back onto the dancefloor.

"Y/n," She said, "Come danceeeee."

You looked up at her, your body slowly moving up right.

"But Cass and I-"

Mor whined.

"Feyre abandoned me for Rhys and Azriel is too busy being a gargoyle."

You snickered at her words, your gaze drifting over to where the Shadowsinger sat across the booth, a small grin on his mouth as he brought his cup to his lips. Then, you looked towards the dance floor, a sea of moving bodies with each person lost in the rhythm of the music. Sure enough, your gaze settled on Feyre and Rhysand, deeply entwined as they danced against one another, their bodies swaying together.

You returned your gaze to Mor, with her outstretched hands and a pouty face. You grinned, and she let out a small shriek of excitement at your wordless answer.

You placed a hand on Cassian's thigh, giving a small pat as you forced yourself up, the other hand in Mor's grasp. Cass held his hands up to stabilize you.

You turned to face him, your body slightly swaying.

"See ya later, Commander."

You gave him a drunken salute, the gesture slow and sloppy, before Mor whisked you away to the dance floor.

Cassian watched your figure as you retreated to the dance floor, unable to look away. He could still feel the lingering warmth on his thigh from where your hand had rested, as if an imprint of your touch had been left behind– he half-expected to undo his pants and find a charred handprint, a mirror image of yours. Your delicate hands, your soft skin, your slender fingers..... the thought sent a jolt of desire through him.

Stop it. Cassian's brain scolded him.

But still, his gaze drifted to where you were lost in the lively throng of bodies. The live music pulsed around you, guiding your movements as you moved with your usual demeanor of grace. The way you swayed to the rhythm, the fluidity of your gestures, it was mesmerizing. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to dance with you the way you were on Mor, without the barriers of friendship. To feel your body pressed against his, to lose himself in the rhythm and the heat that seemed to radiate from both of you.

His eyes trailed your body, taking in every curve and movement, and suddenly, he began to notice the way other males and females were doing the same. 

He felt a growing anger stir within him, an emotion he had never felt before, not when it came to you. It was a possessive rage, a primal instinct that told him he needed to protect you from these observers. The bodies around you, their gazes lingering on your body, only fueled the fire within him. They shouldn't be looking at you like that. They weren't worth your time--- weren't worthy of being able to admire you the way they were. He should do some-

His musings were abruptly interrupted by a chuckle from Azriel.

The sound jolted Cassian back to the present, and he turned to find his brother looking at him with an amused expression. Annoyance crept into Cassian's features as he asked,

"What?"

Az's amusement deepened, and he replied nonchalantly, "Nothing."

Although Azriel's response seemed innocent, there was a knowing glint in his eyes, a small smirk that he covered by bringing his cup to his lips. Cass was well aware that Az was hinting at something, but he was too lost in his own thoughts to care. All he could focus on was the uncomfortable heat in his stomach, feeling as if he was suffering from intense heartburn. But funnily enough, the feeling only grew heavier when he looked at you. 

Azriel down his drink before grabbing Cassian’s attention.

 "Let's get you another drink."

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

The night had surrendered to the early hours of the morning, casting a dreamlike glow over the city as you and your friends stumbled out of the vibrant chaos that was Rita's. The streets, now filled with the remnants of the night's revelry, echoed with the laughter and inebriated chatter of others who were also bidding farewell to a night spent well.

You walked alongside Cas and Mor, Feyre and Rhysand a few steps ahead. Azriel had left an hour prior; a smug expression adorned his face as he escorted a striking male with brown hair and green eyes-- the very one who had generously bought him drinks throughout the night.

You looked at the mated pair ahead of you, Rhysand's arm draped casually around Feyre’s shoulder. You watched as he leaned in, whispering something in her ear. Feyre suddenly stilled and turned around, an evident blush lingering on her cheeks. Rhysand looked at her with an amused twinkle in his eyes, then he turned his gaze toward your group, mirthful mischief etched across his face.

"We're not feeling that well, so we're going to go sleep." Rhysand declared, his words dripping with a level of unseriousness that made you want to laugh. But, not even Rhys could take himself seriously, the corners of his mouth soon turning up to form a pearly-white grin. 

Feyre playfully slapped his chest, but the grin on Rhysand’s face grew even wider, brightened by a child-like glee. With a final shared glance, the mated pair left. You smiled to yourself, thinking about how evident the couple’s love was and how much it made you want something similar. 

Before you knew it, only you and Cassian were left. Mor, who had been walking side by side with you both, had halted abruptly. A smile played on her lips. "I've got somewhere I want to go," she announced cryptically, winking before disappearing.

The intoxication in your veins rendered winnowing out of the question – too drunk to focus, and Cassian couldn't fly without risking an aerial mishap that involved either vomit or an unexpected plummet. Both options were less than ideal, so you both continued walking, the cool night air beginning to clear the remnants of your alcohol-induced hazes.

Cassian watched as you moved with a certain lightness, the effects of the drinks still lingering in your movements. Suddenly, you spun around, catching him off guard. His hands flew out instinctively, prepared to catch you if you lost your balance, but you paid no attention to the movement. Instead, you looked up at him with a small frown.

"Hey," you began, your words still slightly slurred. "How come everyone's getting some tonight, and here we are, feeling left out?"

He watched you for a moment, your stature, your slow blinks, how intensely you were staring at him. Cassian grinned. His eyes, veiled by a layer of playful charm, fixated on yours.

"Well, I'm right here,” He declared, “Say the word, and I'm all yours, allll night long.”

Cassain ensured that his words were delivered with a teasing tone, a tone he prayed masked the underlying desire he felt. You didn’t notice. All you could focus on was the burning in your chest, the way your heart tugged at his response. This was nothing out of the usual, Cassian flirted with you all the time. Cassian flirted with everyone.

So you let out a laugh, the sound echoing through the quiet night.

"Oh, please. You're such a pig," you retorted playfully, adding a mockingly dramatic eye roll.  Then you swallowed, forcing your next words out. "Never. Could you imagine?”

You didn’t want to see his face as he answered the question, too worried that it would hurt you in some way if he reacted appalled and disgusted. So, you turned yourself around and began walking again, focusing on the cobblestone road underneath your feet, at the cold air starting to bite at you. 

There was a quiet pause, and then you heard the small laughter of your best friend. He wouldn’t tell you where his mind wandered, now, when he thought of you, wouldn’t acknowledge the hurt that nestled itself quietly in the recesses of his thoughts.

“No. I couldn’t.”  

Another pause. Despite being out in the open, breathing in the fresh night air, you began to feel stuffy. A sense of discomfort wrapped itself around you. 

"How come you didn't go home with anyone?" You asked. You gnawed at your lip, waiting for his response, observing his reaction from the corner of your eye.

Cassian raised an eyebrow. He stopped to look at you, and you stilled, turning slightly to face him. When he gave you no response, you let out a small sigh.

"Y’know, like that one redhead giving you eyes back at the bar." 

You did your best to disguise the subtle irritation lingered in your tone, but beneath it, you felt a sense of bubbling jealousy. How was Cass so unaware? How come you were so aware?

Cassian's eyes widened slightly as he scrambled to recall the moment. Panic briefly flickered in his eyes as he realized he hadn't even noticed anyone else, his attention consumed by you. “Ohhh, her?” He finally responded, “Nah, tonight was just about hanging out with all of you. Y’know, family time.”

You felt a smile tugging at your cheeks. Family time didn’t stop Azriel, or Feyre and Rhysand. In your gut, you knew that it hadn’t stopped Mor either, the look on her face as she left screamed of a sudden lustful advance. Cassian’s answer deeply satisfied a part of you, for reasons you couldn't decipher at the moment. Your smile widened when he gave you a fond smile of his own. 

“Big ole’ sap.” You teased, affectionately nudging him with your shoulder.

You fell into another comfortable rhythm, walking alongside each other in silence as the echoes of night behind you slowly faded. Cassian could hear you humming faintly to yourself and a warmth filled his chest. You often hummed when you walked. When you were drunk, it was always a guarantee. Cass used to use it as a meter for your sobriety, detecting how drunk you were based on how horrible your humming was. Currently, it sounded angelic. But he wasn’t sure if he could trust his own judgment, not now, not when it came to you. Even as you walked side-by-side, he felt the urge to get you closer, made the effort to ensure your hands swung next to one another— that you bumped into his bicep every now and then as you walked. What was wrong with him? And why did you smell so good?

Cass cleared his throat, tilting his head down slightly to look at you.

“So, uh, speaking of people, why didn’t you go home with the bartender?”

You stopped abruptly, caught off guard by question. Cassian, too, halted in his tracks, a subtle maneuver to avoid colliding with your shoulder. Turning to face him, your eyes sought his in the dim light. "The bartender?" Confusion furrowed your brow.

His gaze, laden with an unspoken curiosity, met yours. He chuckled softly, shaking his head.  "Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

You paused, your thoughts weaving through the blurred memories of the night. Every image was muddled in your mind, a fusion of moving bodies and your hands picking up new drinks. God, how many did you take? You couldn’t remember. Your memory was hazy, unfocussed. There was only one thing in your mind that shone in perfect clarity– only one person. And it wasn’t the bartender. 

“Guess I didn’t.” You shrugged.

Cassian thought back to the bartender, a handsome male with short brown hair and blue eyes. The way he had stared at you, the way he had smiled. Cass’s mind found the memory of you reaching over the bar, your hand over the bartender’s, leaning in to request another drink. A flash of your smile. He fought the urge to make a face.

"Yup,” He said, “Gave you eyes the entire night. Half surprised they didn't fall out and follow you home."

He didn’t intend to sound bitter, didn’t mean for it to drip from the words he spoke. He couldn’t help it. But, by the look on your face, you hadn’t noticed. Yet again. Cassian let out a breath. It took a moment for his words to settle into your mind, and then you let out a snicker at the image painted by them. He grinned at the sound. 

"Well then, I'm really surprised I didn't notice." 

And you were. You were usually good at these things, at recognizing advances. You picked up on lingering gazes and touches that were one second too long. If Cassian was referring to the bartender you were thinking of, then he had been very attractive. On another night, you would have definitely noticed— and definitely taken the opportunity. But not tonight. Tonight was different, felt different. 

"Can't blame him," Cassian remarked, a touch of sincerity in his voice. "You are beautiful."

You blinked, your mouth parting slightly in shock. The words sent a flutter to your chest, and you could feel heat on your cheeks. You shook it off, letting out a sound of amusement and disbelief. It came out as a quiet snort.  "Shut up."

 "Not even mentioning all the males and females that were ogling you while you danced with Mor."

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You were sure that the blush on your cheeks was on full display and only hoped that Cassian would assume it was caused by the chilly night air. You couldn't look at him. Instead, you shook your head, your eyes looking into the distance. Then, you rolled them and scoffed. "Oh, please. Now you’re just lying.”

You felt his eyes on you, still. You slowly moved your head to look at him once more, watching as his expression subtly shifted.

"No, seriously. It's like some couldn't keep their eyes off you." 

Cassian's gaze still lingered on you, unexpectedly soft and genuine. His features bathed in a tender glow, a small smile on his lips. His disheveled hair, tousled by the night's breeze, framed his face in a way that made you itch to rake your fingers through. For a moment, time seemed to pause as you stared at your best friend, your eyes tracing the contours of his shoulders and the majestic wings that adorned his back.

You found yourself taking him in for a minute too long, staring like he wasn’t right in front of you. The realization creeped up on you and you quickly looked away, finding somewhere, anywhere other than his gaze, to focus on. 

"Well, whatever," You muttered, turning yourself around to continue walking forward. You heard Cassian’s steps pick up behind you. “I’m over being casual. I’m tired of being with lame males who never make me finish, males who are so boring and entitled, males that are so stupid I begin to question my life decisions. All of it.”

Cassian's eyes widened in surprise, his mind racing as he tried to process what you had offhandedly mentioned. "Wait, what?" he said, his voice filled with confusion. "No one has ever made you finish?"

You weren’t paying full attention to what Cassian was saying, too caught up in your own thoughts and monologue about your new aversion to casual hookups. You waved him off, continuing to walk forward. 

Cassian's mind raced with thoughts of you and the males you had been with. He pictured you together, each of them trying their best to please you, their faces contorted with effort, their bodies moving in a frenzy. He pictured some outright ignoring your experience, jackknifing again and again, rutting into you like wild animals. But in his mind's eye, you remained distant, your face bored and vacant, making noises for show.

He wanted to growl. He could do better, could give you the pleasure and satisfaction that those males had failed to provide. The thought was intoxicating, and he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be with you, to make you feel the way you deserved. Had they truly not taken the time to worship you? To explore your body, pray to it like it was sacred?

His mind painted a picture of you together, your bodies entwined, a room filled with the smell of sex. He saw himself looking into your eyes, his focus on your pleasure. You moaning underneath him, wrapping your arms around his neck and whispering his name. Cassian. Cassian. The image was intoxicating— he felt a stirring in his cock, a longing that settled heavy in his stomach.

But it was short lived. Quickly, a sense of guilt washed through him, flooding through his veins. Here you were, talking about your life and feelings, and he was imagining you naked, underneath him, your face contorted in pleasure. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be thinking of this. He should be listening to you, his best friend, and giving you advice. He aggressively shoved his thoughts away, putting a lock on the visions of you that were manifesting in his mind. With a deep breath, he told his deteriorating self-discipline that he could think of those beautiful images later, when it was just him and his hand in the solace of his room.

He found himself grateful that you were walking ahead of him, that the night air provided a distraction, a physical discomfort that could dampen his desires. It was cold out now, the breeze seemingly more nippy. It sobered him up, ridding the effects of the alcohol in his veins and his drunken feelings of lust.

It was cold out. His eyes snapped up to you walking ahead of him, rubbing your arms absentmindedly. You were cold. How had he not realized?

Because you’re a horny prick who can’t seem to remember your place in her life. His mind screamed at him. He knew it was right. 

"I just want to find someone who can connect with me on a deeper level. Someone who sees me.” You said with a defeated sigh. You stopped for a minute, looking back as Cassian caught up to you, the war general having fallen behind, distracted by his own thoughts. 

Finally reaching you, he gave you a look that you’d never seen before, and you slightly frowned from being unable to read him. But soon, his face softened, and he put his hand on your arm. The touch was tender, despite his large, rough hands, and it sent a warmth throughout your body that combated the cool air. 

"Y'know, you could get anyone you wanted." 

His voice, sincere and quiet, took the breath out of your lungs. 

Well, not anyone. The thought flitted through your mind. You ignored it. 

He smiled at you, a warmth in his gaze that set your heart on fire. “Lets get you home.”

Cassian draped his arm around you, his hand rubbing your biceps as you instinctively leaned into the comforting gesture. When his wings flared out and curled around you both, you felt the flutter in your chest again, a faint warm glow. This time, you let it sit.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

Cassian's ability to fly gradually returned with the waning effects of the alcohol, and the rest of the way home had been filled with comfortable silence. You felt the familiar comfort of home envelop you the minute you stepped foot inside, and your room called to you, to your aching body and pounding headache. 

As soon as you entered, you didn't waste a moment – walking straight to your bed and simply falling face flat, a groan escaping from your lips. You could feel the throbbing in your head, every movement causing a reaction in both your scalp and deep in your stomach, where a growing sense of nausea was brewing. 

"You're gonna be in pain in the morning." Cassian remarked with a chuckle, watching your less-than-graceful landing.

You groaned again, the sound muffled by your sheets. A moment passed, and you heard the sound of Cassian removing his shoes, soon followed by a dip in the bed as he settled in and made himself comfortable. He sighed.

"Gods. Your bed is so damn comfortable."

You lifted your head to look at him, his head leaning on your headboard as he breathed softly. He looked so peaceful, no tension in his face or his body, his eyes closed with the ghost of a content smile on his lips. 

“You can sleep here tonight,” You said, “If you’d like.” 

The offer felt charged with something you couldn’t quite name, and you felt vulnerable for proposing the idea. Sure, you and Cassian had slept in the same bed together before, but never when you were attracted to him, turned on by his lips touching your ear. Maybe it was a bad idea. You should send him on his way before he gets too comfortable... right?

Cassian's eyes opened, finding your own. "Really?"

Good ideas be damned.

You nodded. "Just don't hog the bed."

You watched as he smiled and settled himself in further, still clad in his button up and trousers. The pounding in your head had slowly calmed to a dull ache, a momentary relief that you knew was bound to end soon. Taking advantage of it, you made a move to push yourself up and get ready for bed, bracing yourself on your forearms. A wave of nausea ran through you again, and your mind began to conjure up images of every drink you had tonight. You groaned.

“Y/n?” 

You let out a deep breath. “Yes?” 

Cassian could hear the discomfort in your voice, and he sat up straighter, looking at where you lay at the edge of your bed, your head hanging, slightly tilted downwards towards your bed as your forehead resting on your hands. 

“Whats going on?” He said, moving closer to you on the bed. You could feel his body next to your head, his thighs rubbing against your forearms.

“Lots of drinks.” You responded, squeezing your eyes shut. “Too many.”

Cass gave a small chuckle, his hand moving to rest on your head. You felt him run his hand through your hair, felt it settle near your neck, right by your shoulders. He moved it in circular motions. 

“Let me help you.” His voice was calm and gentle. For a second, you wondered how he was perfectly fine, but then you remembered how well he could hold his alcohol and how quickly he could sober up, if needed. You felt grateful for the latter as you nodded against your hands. 

Cassian stood up and slowly wrapped his arm around your back, settling his hand on your shoulder. Then, with the other, he gently took a hold of your forearm, guiding you up from your hunched position. 

You didn’t think much as you let Cass guide you, you could feel him next to you, his arms stabilizing you as he helped you maneuver over to the other side of your bed. The whole world felt like it was moving too fast, as if you were the only thing in slow motion. You simultaneously cursed yourself for tonight while wishing you could teleport to four hours ago when you were wasted and the world was perfect.

“You think you can get out of your dress?” He asked you, as he helped you sit down on your bed.

You nodded, looking up at him with a faint smile. “Yeah. Can you…” 

Cassian turned to the armoire your outstretched finger pointed to. He nodded. You closed your eyes for a minute, taking another deep breath as you heard him open a drawer and then close it.

“Here.” His voice was still as smooth as before, calm and gentle. It sent a shiver through your body, and you found your heartbeat quickening. Not now, you scolded yourself, you’re on the verge of vomiting. You needed to get a grip. You grabbed the soft nightgown from his hand and Cassian quickly turned around, giving you some privacy. 

Your dress was easy to peel off, the small straps sliding off your shoulders with no resistance. You felt the cool air bite at your exposed chest, and quickly pulled the night stress over your head. Then, you carefully stood up, allowing your dress to slide down your legs, and your nightgown to fall properly on your body. 

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks as you looked at Cassian, his back facing to you, his beautiful wings flared out comfortably. A part of you felt so vulnerable with him now, with the way he was touching you, how you had looked at him tonight. Cassian always helped you when you were drunk, it was nothing new, but the feeling lingered nonetheless. You cleared your throat.

“Thank you,” You said, looking at Cass as he turned back around. He couldn’t help as his eyes surveyed your body, and he gave you a small grin. 

“Oh, how cute.” 

You gave him a small glare, smacking his chest with your hand. And then you slowly crawled into your bed, taking note of how Cassian’s hand hovered over your back until you were settled. He grabbed your covers for you, placing them on you.

“I feel like I’m taking care of a child.” He joked, and you let out a little scoff. He only laughed at your response. 

“Just take off your clothes and come sleep before I kick you out.” 

You could see the restraint in his face as he stifled his laughter. You could already hear it, a joke about you wanting him naked, a tease about taking him to dinner first. But, instead, Cassian let out a quiet laugh. “Okay.” 

You burrowed yourself into your bed, closing your eyes and embracing the warmth of the covers, how nice the soft mattress felt on your aching body. Behind you, you heard the sound of pants and a belt falling to the ground, and within seconds, there was a dip in the bed. Cassian’s smell filled your nose and you welcomed it in, a scent that reminded you of peaceful nights and crackling fires. 

“Cass?” You said, slowly turning yourself over to face him. You felt him shift, getting comfortable into the bed, and then he was turning to face you as well. 

“Yeah?” He whispered, his voice low.

“Thank you.”

You closed your eyes, your nose still filled with the smell of your best friend, his heat radiating onto your skin. You were out within seconds.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

The air was charged with the metallic tang of sweat and the rhythmic sounds of swords clashing. It was a sight to behold, truly. Azriel and Cassian were both incredibly skilled in combat and their sparring matches were always your favorite to watch. Not only was it beautiful to see, with their fluid motions and strong forms, but it helped you pick up on things you wanted to practice yourself— and any weaknesses you could exploit when you practiced with them. Today, you observed Cassian with a focused intensity as he moved gracefully through his training routine, each motion deliberate and powerful. You found yourself unable to look away, suddenly feeling drymouthed and distracted, swallowing hard. You brought your hand to your mouth, your thumb wiping at your lip as you watched. 

Were you attracted to Cassian? 

No. The sudden heat you were feeling was due to the heavy sun above you, the strong rays hitting you and your slight dehydration. It had nothing to do with the sweaty, built, and beautiful body of your best friend. It definitely wasn’t the way his muscles rippled as he moved, or the way his sweat lined his abs…

"Enjoying the show, babe?"

You let out a small gasp in surprise, turning your head to the side as Mor approached you, a grin on her red-painted lips.

“You scared the fuck out of me.” You said, bringing your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm the quickened beating of your heart.

“I’ve never been able to catch you so off guard,” She mused. “Guess they’re real entertaining today, huh?”

You pursed your lips and looked back over to the two males sparring. They took a step back from one another, taking a momentary break to catch their breaths. Cassian looked over at you, his half-bun had unraveled during the intense training session, with strands of his tousled hair clinging to his forehead, glistening with sweat.

As he caught your gaze, Cassian grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. With a wave of his hand, he gestured toward Azriel, attempting to convey his strategy for the upcoming sparring match. You felt a smile pull at your cheeks as Cassian switched between hovering his hands around his neck to mimic an action of strangulation, and gesturing towards Azriel. Az stood unamused, wiping his forehead with his wrist before taking a large sip of water.

Beside you, Mor observed the scene with a raised eyebrow, a hint of suspicion crossing her features. Her gaze flickered between you and Cassian, and a look of realization slowly went through her face. She turned towards you with a slight gasp, smacking your bicep playfully.

"Y/n! Did you two…?"

You turned your head fast to look at her at a speed so fast that you swore you gave yourself whiplash. You looked at her with narrow eyes. “Did we what?”

Mor's grin widened as she leaned in conspiratorially. "Did you and Cassian have a little training of your own, off the sparring mat?" She teased with a wink.

You scoffed, waving her off with a gesture of your hand. You could feel a blush on your cheeks and you prayed that Mor didn’t notice— or if she did, that she attributed it to the sweltering heat.

"No, Mor! We didn't.” You responded, then you made a face of disgust. “We’re talking about Cassian. I could never.”

Mor raised an eyebrow playfully. "Are you sure about that? Because, darling, you've been staring at him like he's a piece of prime meat, and you're a starved vegetarian about to crumble."

Your cheeks burned brighter.

“Such a beautiful image, Mor, thank you for that,” You murmured, rolling your eyes before looking at her. “But that is not what I was doing. I was just… watching his technique. That's all."

Mor's laughter rang through the air as she nudged you. "Sureeee. Whatever you say. But you might want to consider admitting it to yourself before the starved vegetarian inside you takes over completely."

Flustered and unsure of how to respond, you excused yourself with a mumbled, "I don't know what you're talking about," before hastily leaving the training arena, leaving Mor's laughter echoing behind you as she followed.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

You and Cass hadn’t had time together within the past week and a half. You were busy running off with Mor and Feyre, and when you weren’t with them, Amren took your attention. Cassian himself had been busy, too, but he couldn’t focus recently, not as well as usual. The last time he’d been able to properly see you, as you observed him and Azriel training, you left before he had a chance to talk to you. You hadn’t felt Cassian's eyes follow you as you left, didn’t notice the way he traced your figure. His gaze had stayed trained on you until you were out of his line of sight, and only then had he felt the presence of Az behind him. But he was too slow, and the Shadowsinger quickly disarmed him, flipping him onto his back with a loud thud.

Cassian had let out a groan followed by a string of obscenities aimed at his brother, who quickly made a comment about him being too distracted. Azriel was right. He was too distracted. His mind was completely and utterly obsessed with you. 

In fact, Cassian felt like a mad man. There was a deep ache that had settled in his chest, one that weaved itself through his ribs. He’d never felt so starved, so hungry. But his delusions, the dreams he’d been having, the fantasies that manifested in his brain, they weren’t sweet enough to satiate his hunger anymore. What he wanted was you. And he couldn’t stop picturing it, couldn't stop indulging in his thoughts. Not since that night at Rita’s. 

He’d fallen asleep with you after he’d helped you get into bed, closed his eyes after you thanked him. It was the best sleep he’d gotten in months, made even better when he woke up perfectly rested, rolling over in your comfortable bed to see you. He won’t admit how long he was staring at you, at your sleeping form, your hair fanned out across your pillow. Even with your makeup slightly smeared– a fact that made him feel guilty that he had forgotten to help you wash it off– you were breathtaking. He wondered why he never really noticed it this much before.

Cassian tried his best tonight, laying in his bed after the long day. Restless, he tossed and turned. At one point he considered getting ready and flying somewhere, going to train and practice, or finding some beautiful female to replace the thoughts he had of you. Both options sounded nauseating. So, instead, he pulled himself out of bed and slowly walked around, letting out a yawn and rubbing at his eyes. The hallways were quiet, illuminated by the moon in the night sky. 

When he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks, his heart quickly jumping. He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the low lighting, and then readily took in the sight in front of him.

There you were, a vision of beauty, leaning gracefully into the fridge. The top part of your body concealed by the door, leaving Cassian with a tantalizing view of your legs. The silk set you wore clung to you in all the right places, the fabric catching the subtle glow of flickering faelight, accentuating the curves that commanded his attention.

Fuck. He couldn’t tell if this was a dream or a nightmare for him in his current state. 

As he stood there, silently observing, you straightened up. Your hands, adorned with an elegant grace, held onto something within the fridge as you turned to close it. You turned your head slightly and your eyes met his. A wave of warmth washed over Cassian. 

"Cass?" Your voice was quiet, the surprise in your eyes quickly replaced by recognition. For a moment, time seemed to stand still. You stood tall, a small plate of mixed berries in your hand. He wasn’t surprised, though, you always had such strange midnight cravings. Still slack-jawed and captivated, Cassian tried to find the words to break the silence. He watched as your face softened and your brows pulled together. “Cant sleep?” You asked.

He blinked. And then shook his head. “Nope.” He finally replied.

You smiled, a warm and inviting expression that made Cassian's heart skip a beat, and made a motion with your head to call him closer to you. You pulled yourself onto the counter, swinging your feet as they hung. Cassian settled next to you, leaning against the counter. The cold slight touch of the cold surface on his bare back sent a chill through his body. His wings nestled comfortably behind him.

Cassian watched you as you hummed quietly, bringing the berries to your mouth. He watched the way your lips wrapped around them, the way your throat moved as you swallowed. His thoughts went straight to his cock, feeling a stirring that had him fighting to maintain his composure.

Get it together. His mind echoed. He sorted through his thoughts, then he looked up at you.  “I’ve missed you this week.” He confessed.

You paused, bringing a strawberry away from your lips. Turning to look at him, you gave him a dimpled smile. "Well, you didn’t have to wait until the dead of the night to find me,” You responded. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Cassian mirrored your smile and then let out a deep breath. Despite fighting back his intrusive thoughts about you not even minutes ago, his heart was steady and calm. He could feel a sense of relief wash through his body as he stood next to you, watching you eat. The silence was comfortable— your presence was comfortable. Something warm, something familiar, something that felt like home. 

“Want one?” You offered, holding your plate towards him. He glanced at you, then at the plate, and then at you again. His eyebrow raised.

“C’monnnn,” You said, your voice light and amused, “Every healthy male needs to eat his fruits and vegetables.”

Cassian let out a chuckle. “At three in the morning?”

You shrugged casually. “I don’t think the time matters.” You popped a blueberry in your mouth, looking at him. Then you picked one up from the plate, reaching your hand out to his face, the fruit hovering in front of his lips. “They’re nice and fresh and cold.”

He couldn’t say no to you. Not when you were looking at him like that. 

With a reluctant smile, Cassian moved to take it from your outstretched hand, but you intervened, a softness in your eyes. "Allow me," you said. He responded with a subtle nod. Holding the berry delicately between your fingers, you brought it to his mouth. For a second, your finger brushed against his lips, a small fleeting touch, the ghost of a sensation. An unexpected surge of electricity coursed through him, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake as it moved throughout his body. 

His gaze locked onto yours, your attentive eyes and your mouth slightly parted. Like many other things, you’d done this before, had given Cassian food straight to his mouth. But in the stillness of the night, with the glow on your soft skin and your silk set, Cass struggled to breathe. 

A slight grin played on your lips as Cassian, still entranced, tasted the berry you had fed him. He chewed slowly, deliberately, and then swallowed. "See?" you said in a soft, teasing tone, “And it probably tasted better with me feeding you it like some God. You’re welcome.”

Cassian, still under the spell of your touch, let out a small breath. "You're always right, aren't you?"

You met his gaze, a quiet confidence in your eyes. "It's part of my charm," you replied, the words carrying a hint of playfulness. He watched as you returned your attention to your plate, finishing the last of the berries that adorned it. You looked over at him. "It's getting late," you said, dropping down from the counter. "I should probably get some sleep."

As you stood up and stretched, Cassian's eyes followed the movement, taking in the curve of your ass as you arched your back. Your silk set rode up slightly, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of your stomach. He felt a surge of desire that made him both embarrassed and excited, like he was a 16 year old again, ready to fuck anything near him. Cassian allowed his eyes to wander back up, taking in the sight of your chest, the way the silk set clung to your breasts, the subtle rise and fall of your breaths. He felt his mouth water.

You rolled your shoulders, turning to look at him with a subtle furrow in your brow.  

“You okay?”

Cassian cleared his throat, shaking off his thoughts. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that there was a blush rising to his cheeks, a heat he was suddenly aware of on his face. 

“Yeah,” He responded, his voice huskier than intended, “Just tired.”

You shot Cassian a mildly unconvinced look with a subtle raise of your eyebrows, but gave him a half-smile, anyways. “Get some rest, Cass,” You said softly, “See you tomorrow.”

Cassian stayed still, eerily still, as he watched you walk away, watched your legs move and the way the fabric of your clothes rippled as you walked. When you were out of eyesight, he let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Then he titled his head and let out a groan at the ceiling. He took a minute to compose himself, to attempt to regulate the blood in his body– blood that was moving straight to the heat collecting like a pool in his chest. Rubbing his hands along his face, Cassian slowly headed for his room. The quiet of the night that once soothed him now felt like a void, one that yearned for your voice again, for you. 

By the time he made it to his room, Cassian’s mind was filled with images of you– of the silk material sliding across your skin, of the way your lips wrapped around the berries, of him bending you over the counter. Gods. Feeling the strain of his desire, Cassian reached down and started to stroke himself through his pants, the loose and thin material of his sweatpants doing little to buffer the friction from his palms. He felt a deep groan leave his mouth at the image of you in front of him, kneeling with your eyes wide and hungry, your lips parted, ready for him. 

He slid his hand into the waistband of his sweatpants, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of his cock. He pulled his pants and briefs down his legs, letting his throbbing length fall against his stomach as wrapped his hands around himself. Cassian worked himself in smooth strokes, swallowing every time his thumb grazed the head of his cock. He let his mouth fall open as he imagined you, imagined your body moving beneath him, your eyes locked on him as he took you. 

Closing his eyes, Cassian thought of the sound of your moans, fantasizing about how your breath would quicken, how your body would tremble with pleasure as he satisfied your desires. His hand moved faster, his grip tightening as the images in his mind grew more detailed— every sound you’ve emitted to him before, every laugh, every grunt as you trained, every soft sigh, all began to morph together into one beautiful melody. You’re moaning underneath him, desperate, all-consuming, so hungry for him that you’re forced to stifle your whimpers with the back of your hand.

Cassian felt the tension coiling in his body, the tightness in his balls, and the warmth spreading through his body. He imagined you writhing underneath him, your hips chasing his every thrust, your body arching beneath him, eyes filled with pleasure as he filled you with his seed. His orgasm hits him fast, his body trembling with the force of his release as he painted his stomach with the evidence of his desire.

Even after he’d cleaned himself off, after he’d submerged himself in a cold bath, Cassian’s mind still lingered on you, on your silk set, on your lips— on your laugh. And as he tossed and turned in bed once more, Cass realized he was completely fucked. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

"What's got you so flustered?" Mor asked, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.

Mor knew exactly why you were so flustered. Her, Amren, and Feyre had guessed it from the beginning— the subtle touching and lingering gazes. You liked Cassian, like-liked Cassian. And until now, you had refused to admit it. 

As you remembered the moment with Cassian a mere three nights ago, a blush crept onto your cheeks. You ran your hands down your face and let out a groan. Feyre and Mor exchanged amused glances. 

“He walked in shirtless!” You exclaimed, your voice still slightly covered by your hands running down your face. “Gods, I didn’t know what to do. I just kept shoving berries in my mouth. And then I kept trying to find a reason to touch him but I couldn’t.”

Feyre, who sat next to you with her legs to the side, comfortably nestled into the crook of the couch, leaned forward, looking at you with expectant eyes. “So what did you do?” She asked.

You shifted in your seat, avoiding eye contact by focusing on a loose thread on the couch. "I gave him a berry." Your voice was quiet. You spared Feyre a glance under your brow. When you saw her face crinkle in amusement, you quickly looked away, nervously twirling the thread between your fingers. It snapped quickly. 

From in front of you, Mor stared, her brows furrowed and mouth slightly parted. “You gave him… a berry?” She leaned back, a look of intrigue on her face.

You nodded slowly, aware of how lame it sounded. “Yes. I fed him a berry.” You said, looking up at her.

"And?" Feyre asked. 

You pursed your lips and glanced at her, and then bounced your vision around the room. There was a deep sense of embarrassment that bubbled in your stomach, a feeling that made you want to hide away. You were flustered, more than you had ever been, and it was due to your best friend shirtless in the kitchen. You felt like a schoolgirl with a crush— and it was humiliating. But looking at both of your friends, so eagerly sitting, you let out a breath and word-vomited them the truth. 

“And I’ve never been so aroused by someone's lips and the faint feeling of stubble! Gods, what do I do?” You lifted your hands up in exasperation, finding yourself sinking further into the couch. Crossing your arms, you huffed in frustration. Your cheeks flushed, and you could feel the heat radiating from them.

“I know what to do.”  Mor said, matter-of-factly. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You do?" Your hands dropped to your lap and you leaned forward.

"Yes. You need to get laid." Mor's tone was casual.

Your eyes widened. "W-What?" Your jaw dropped.

Mor only nodded her head affirmatively, jutting her chin out towards Feyre next to you. “She agrees.”

 You shot a look to Feyre, who stared at you with wide eyes. She gave you a sheepish smile. “I mean…” She trailed off, looking towards Mor for help. You followed her gaze and turned your head to the blonde once more. 

"We’re going to Ritas," Mor declared. She stood up, a confident sway to her hips as she moved towards the door.

"But we went last week," You protested. Mor stopped in her place and turned around to look at you with feigned innocence. 

"Oh, I’m sorry,” She said, bringing her delicate hand to her chest, “I didn’t realize it was illegal to go out two weekends in a row." 

You tilted your head and threw her an unamused look, but Mor only grinned at you. When you let out a defeated sigh and shook your head, she knew she had won and looked towards Feyre.

“Amren will come, too. It’ll be a girls night. Right, Fey?” 

Feyre smiled and turned to look at you, meeting your gaze. “Right.” She affirmed. She leaned forward, placing a soft hand on your bicep. “It’ll be fun.”

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

When the day began winding down, Mor returned from her apartment, arms heavy with dresses. She strolled into your room, Amren in tow, with the same grin from earlier. Looking towards where you and Feyre sat on your couch, she let out an excited squeal. “Tonight is going to be great.”

You glanced at Amren, who merely gave you a small quirk of her lips before planting herself down on the seat opposite of you, watching as Mor dumped her pile of clothes on your bed. 

You casted a glance at the pile of dresses, each with their own gorgeous vibrant color and delicate fabrics. You looked over at Mor. “Couldn’t decide on what to wear?” You mused. You pulled yourself up and walked towards her, examining the dresses on your bed. You brought the fabric of one between your fingers, feeling the delicate silk. 

Mor let out a laugh, bringing her hand to your arm. She looked at you with an amused glance. “Oh babe, these aren’t for me.” 

You frowned at her, and then your face fell. “Oh, these are for me?”

She nodded excitedly. Looking behind you towards Amren and Feyre. “Tell her how beautiful these would look on her.”

You didn’t look back, instead running your hands across the pile of elegant dresses. It wasn’t that you didn’t love them. Each dress was gorgeous in its own right, and if they belonged to Mor, you knew that they would look even better on– sexy, even. But you frowned slightly at the idea of dressing up to go to Rita’s with the goal of getting noticed. Unlike times before, it didn’t seem appealing. But perhaps you were overthinking. After all, the past two weeks had left you in your head too much. 

Feyre craned her head slightly, watching as you stared at the dresses. “They are beautiful, Y/n.” 

You let out a small sigh. This was good for you. Mor was right, you needed to get laid. You hadn’t fucked in a while. With all the tension and stress you’d been feeling, the worries about Koschei and impending doom, it made sense that your desires would manifest in someone familiar like Cassian, right? You nodded to yourself at the thought and then smiled. “Tell me which to try on first.”

You eyed the first dress Mor handed you. It was a stunning creation, soft and open, with a low neckline that hinted at just the right amount of allure. The fabric shimmered in the faelight of your room. As you slipped it on, the dress clung to your figure, accentuating curves you didn't always pay attention to. But it didn’t feel right. The straps felt a bit too loose, and as you turned to check yourself in the mirror, you realized the openness that had seemed so alluring was now making you uneasy.

Amren’s eyes narrowed. “No.” 

You nodded in agreement, tugging at the neckline. "Yeah, I think I’ll pass."

Feyre chimed in with a supportive smile. "Let's try the next one. Maybe it'll capture the right feeling. Yeah?” She turned her head to the side, motioning towards some dresses that Mor stood over as she sorted through them. Each dress was a different variation of red, Mor’s beautiful statement color and one that screamed confidence and grace. Surely Mor owned more than red, you thought. Why had she decided that you both were going to adorn her signature color tonight? You didn’t think too long about it, your gaze fixed on yourself in the mirror. 

After a few more desperate tries, and Amren’s decreasing confidence in Mor’s styling abilities, the blonde reached into the pile of dresses and pulled out a final dress that had you releasing a small gasp. The fabric was a deep, rich ruby red that seemed to absorb the light around it. As you slipped into the dress, the material clung to your curves, accentuating your silhouette. The neckline dipped low, revealing just enough to be tantalizing without feeling excessive, and you appreciated how naturally your breasts fell underneath it. The open back was a work of art, adorned with delicate jewels that cascaded down like a waterfall, drawing attention to the graceful curve of your spine.

You took a moment before looking at your friends. However, it was Amren specifically that you turned to for a decision, meeting her gaze. She let her eyes run down your figure before looking at you. The corners of her mouth tilted upwards as she gave you a small nod. “This is the one, girl.” 

Feyre and Mor watched as you turned to examine yourself in the mirror. The dress opened at the hips, showcasing your thighs and legs. The overall effect was breathtaking, a harmonious blend of elegance and desire. Mor's eyes lit up with satisfaction. "Gods, you look so sexy." 

You met Mor’s gaze in the mirror.  “No ones going to be able to take their eyes off you,” She gushed, “You’ll have your fair pick of females and males.” You let your mind drift off as Mor continued to babble, feeling Feyre’s hands running through your hair as she twirled the strands between her fingers, deciding how she wanted to help you style it. You took in your appearance in the mirror, eyes roaming over the dress once more, over how well it accentuated your body. It wasn’t until your gaze was drifting up that you noticed the figure in the doorway, your heart stopping. 

With a smirk playing on her lips, Amren’s voice rang out. "Hello, Cassian."

You, Feyre, and Mor turned in unison to the doorway, where Cassian stood  wide-eyed and still. He paled slightly and swallowed. You felt a flush creep up your neck, your hand flying to your collarbone in an anxious movement. Despite the confidence the perfect dress had given you moments ago, the presence of Cassian in the doorway had thrown you off balance. His eyes roamed your body, tracing where the dress fell at your feet up to its neckline, and all the skin it revealed. His wings twitched behind him, falling slightly. You rubbed at the spot that your hand lay at. 

Cassian, still caught off guard, stammered slightly. "I... uh, was just coming to see if you wanted to hang out." You felt your face soften, giving him a smile. Before you could respond, Mor waved him off dismissively.

 "Oh, sorry. She’s busy," she said with a tight smile. You casted a quick glance at her before giving your best friend an apologetic one. His gaze lingered on you, running up your figure once more– the heat in his gaze felt like it was lighting you on fire, and you bit the inside of your cheek. 

"I can see that.” He said. He cleared his throat. “So, uh, what's going on?" His eyes darted between the dresses thrown across your bed and to the girls surrounding you, each wearing beautiful, elegant gowns of their own. He didn’t miss the way Amren looked at him in amusement, or how her gaze trailed to you as she did so. 

Feyre looked between you two before answering. “It's girls night," she explained, “We’re going to Ritas.”

Mor, however, turned around with a large grin. "Y/n is getting laid tonight!" she announced with unabashed enthusiasm.

Cassian's eyes widened, and he blinked rapidly as if trying to process the information. A sizzling sense of jealousy formed in his chest and he breathed out from his nose. The room fell silent for a moment before he finally managed to sputter out “I thought you were over casual flings?” 

You bashfully stuttered, feeling a touch of awkwardness in the tense atmosphere, a small lump in the back of your throat, "Oh, well..." Your eyes searched for the right words, and you caught Mor's gaze, her curious stare making you feel a bit more exposed than you'd anticipated. "I don't know. We'll see." You shrugged slightly, giving him a close-mouthed smile. 

Feyre and Amren exchanged glances, their eyes bouncing between you and Cassian. You didn’t catch it. Mor wanted to laugh, but instead she pressed her lips together and circled you, taking in the image of you in the dress.  "I bet she'll have to fight off people tonight," she mused, casting a sly look in Cassian's direction. "Wouldn't you agree, Cassian?" Feyre’s head swung over to Mor and she gave her a tight look, her eyes widening slightly. Unaffected, the blonde looked back at her with an innocent face. What? She mouthed. 

Cass was staring at you, unmoving and chest rising rapidly. You took in his casual wear, how his hair hung loosely, some strands in front of his face. He was looking at you with an intensity in gaze that you’d never felt before, a heat that made you feel like you were on fire. You swallowed, and then bit your lip, watching as his eyes took in those movements too. Having not fully registered Mor's question, he stammered again, "I—uh, what?"

Mor's grin widened, and she feigned innocence. "Oh, nothing. I'm just saying that she looks so beautiful. Tell her how beautiful she looks."

Cassian casted a quick glance at Morrigan, but quickly his eyes settled back to the place they were at before– your face, your body, you. You blushed at Mor's pointed comment. His eyes ran down your figure once more, seeming to trace the lines of the dress. You continued to rub nervously at your collarbone, the heightened attention making you slightly self-conscious. 

Cassian, finally finding his words, cleared his throat. "You do look... incredible," he admitted, his eyes still fixed on you. You wondered if your friends were suddenly feeling smothered too, if something in the air was making it hard for them to breathe. Your heartbeat echoed in your ears. You resisted the urge to gulp down another nervous breath. Mor let out a small sound of agreement before she looked over at the illyrian male.

"Okay, thats enough gawking, Cassian. We all know Y/n is hot. Now leave us be. Go find Az or Rhys or something," she declared. Your eyes widened slightly, and Cassian shook his head, his mouth slightly parting. Caught between embarrassment and amusement, he took Mor's words in stride. “Right.” He responded with a smile.

He turned around to leave, but before fully retreating, he stole one last glance in your direction. You noticed the subtle, lingering look on his face—an admiring gaze, accompanied by a fleeting lick of his lips. There was a certain longing in his eyes that didn't go unnoticed. Then, you watched as a different expression overcame his features. He walked out before you had a chance to examine it further. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

You let out a small laugh as Mor continued to compliment you, talking over her shoulder as you, Feyre, and Amren followed her, approaching the main foyer. Your laughter died as Mor stopped in her tracks and frowned slightly. 

"What are you guys doing?" She asked, a mix of surprise and annoyance in her voice. As you caught up to where she stood, you were greeted with the unexpected sight of Cassian, Azriel, and Rhysand standing in front of the door, seemingly waiting for you. Dressed in impeccably tailored suits, each of them exuded a distinctive charm. The realization hit you—the look on Cassian’s face as he departed from your room earlier, the sense of determination, the lingering cue of playfulness. He had gone and convinced them both to join. 

You couldn't help but appreciate the attention to detail in how they looked, and Cassian, in particular, stood out. His wings, a symbol of his power and grace that you adored, were confidently spread, and his slicked-back hair added a touch of elegance to his rugged charm. He not only looked good, he looked absolutely delicious. You didn’t attempt to hide the look on your face as you took him in. 

Finally ripping your eyes from your best friend, you looked behind him, to where Azriel sat, his face donning its usual cool expression, but you could sense it- the hint of annoyance that laid underneath it. Meanwhile, next to him, Rhysand sported a large, confident grin. A grin that Cassian mirrored, but with a touch less confidence, his eyes flickering between you and the others. Amren, observing the situation with her usual detached demeanor, glanced at Rhysand and deadpanned, "You're coming with us."

Rhysand's grin widened, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely! Girls' night, right?" He threw his mate a wink. You heard her stifle some laughter. 

Cassian, scratching the back of his head, added with a sheepish smile, "Figured we'd join the fun. Tonight’s been a bit boring." He gestured around him. Then his gaze fell on you. For what felt like the millionth time tonight, his eyes raked over you and you blinked, catching his gaze when it fell on your face. “You don’t mind, do you?”

You didn’t mind.  Not one bit, you thought. If he kept looking at you like that, with those eyes and that heated gaze, you wouldn’t mind a thing he did. He could ask you for anything right now, and you’d say yes. Yes, yes, just keep staring at me like that. Like you see me, like you want me. 

Mor scoffed, "Yes, we do mind!" She turned to you, looking for support. "Tell them it's a girls night."

All eyes turned to you, and you felt a flutter of uncertainty. There was Cassian, his eyes locked onto yours, examining you, your every feature, your every move. The heat of his eyes had started to pooled down at your thighs. You clenched everything below your waist as you hesitated for a moment, still caught in the intensity of his gaze. Mor's impatience grew, and she raised an expectant eyebrow. "Well?"

You lingered on Cassian, and despite Mor's expectant face, you found yourself saying, "No, I don't mind."

Mor's expression shifted from annoyance to resignation, and she let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine."

Cassian's face brightened with a grin, "I promise, Mor, it'll be so fun." His attention turned towards you, walking to you with a soft, but charming grin. "Allow me." He extended his elbow, and without hesitation, you interlocked your hand with his. The touch was comforting and warm, and his scent enveloped you as he guided you towards the exit. You closed your eyes with a content sigh. 

The fragrance that clung to him was intoxicating. Maybe it was a bad idea to invite him tonight, to let him join you and the girls. The dress you were wearing gave you an inflated sense of confidence that you hadn’t felt for a while, and as you walked alongside Cassian, you wondered if it would truly be so bad to indulge in your thoughts of him. To think of his hands, the some ones with you right now, and how they would trace your body the way his eyes had this evening. You felt your arousal bubbling up at the thought of it. It was all in innocent fun, right? You could think of him, enjoy this touch, fantasize about him, as long as that's all it was— thoughts in your mind, away from reality, an idea that you never let come to fruition. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

You had to admit, Mor was right. Rita’s was definitely the move tonight. Somehow it was even more lively than last week, bustling with people and energy. You weren’t as intoxicated as last time, not anywhere near it, but you felt drunk all the same. And you weren’t ashamed to admit, now, that your drunken haze was all caused by one thing: your extremely attractive best friend. 

You and Cass had lost the rest of your group a while back, pulled into a drink off with a beautiful fae couple. Cassian and you had won every single round, leaving you standing at the bar now, celebrating with another round of shots. 

Cassian was standing next to you as you both faced the bar, your arms touching,  practically on top of one another. Cass craned his head to look at the crowd behind you, his hand wrapping around your waist as people drunkenly stumbled past you, making their way to the bar. On usual nights, Cassian’s hand would have dropped by now, returned to their position at his side, but not tonight. Instead, he kept his hand across your waist, keeping a heavy hold on you. You could feel the heat from his palm through the thin fabric of your dress, and you felt it as it moved straight to your core. You instinctively rubbed your thighs together in an attempt to ignore it, suddenly feeling grateful for the multitude of smells in Rita’s that covered your arousal. You turned your head to the side to look at Cassian, noticing that his gaze was on you, but not on your face. Instead, it seemed as if he was looking to where his hand rested on your hip.

“What?” You asked, your brows furrowing, leaning closer to him. He tilted his head slightly, and then you felt his hand lift. You felt a small tinge of disappointment, but it quickly dissipated when you felt his light touch hovering over your back, tracing where the delicate jewels of your dress cascaded down your spine like a waterfall. Your body shuddered. You watched him as his gaze deepended, as he took his lip between his teeth. His hands traced the ornate jewelry, landing at the base of your spine, where the fabric of your dress gathered. 

“I like this,” Cassian said, his voice low. His eyes flickered to yours, “Beautiful.”

Your chest fluttered at his words— was he complimenting the dress, or you? You couldn’t ask even if you wanted to, the air sucked out of your lungs with every lingering touch of his.  Your mouth parted slightly as he stared at you, as you ran your eyes along his face. You felt the brush of his fingers on your spine now. He wasn’t tracing the jewelry anymore, no, he was touching you. 

“Here you go,” A sudden voice pulled you out of the moment. Both you and Cassian turned your heads to the bartender placing two small shot glasses in front of you. You had forgotten you’d ordered another round, forgotten why you were at the bar in the first place, with your best friends hands over you. “I apologize for the wait.” The bartender said. 

You spared him a quick glance, a small graceful smile on your lips, “No worries,” you said. But then you looked at him once more, recognizing the smile he wore, the sound of his voice. This was the bartender Cassian was talking about. And from the way he looked at you, how he pushed your glass to your hand, lightly grazed your fingers, you knew Cass was right about his interest in you. 

“Thanks,” Cassian said, his voice rough. He grabbed both of the glasses in his hand, dragging them closer to your chests, his eyes trained on the bartender, whose smile faltered as he looked at your best friend. Cassian’s hand, which had fallen from your back at the interruption, found your hips again. “That’ll be it.” You didn’t need to look at the bartender to know that he shrunk away, intimated. You didn’t need to look because all you wanted to stare at was Cassian. Cassian, Cassian, Cassian. Something about his grip on you, on the way he’d pushed the bartender away, the way he’d touched your spine, all of it had you pooling at your core. 

“Here,” Cass said, pushing your glass towards you with his knuckle. He grabbed his in his hand. The other hand was still at your hip, unmoving— except for the occasional circular rub of his thumb. You tenderly took the shot, angling your body to twist slightly so you could better face him. The hand on you moved appropriately, still staying placed on your hip as you maneuvered. 

“Cheers.” You said, looking at him. You licked your lips as you held the shot up. Cassian met yours, the two glasses making a clink as they touched. “Cheers.” He responded. 

Tilting your head back, you welcomed the shot openly, letting the liquid coat your throat, feeling the warmth as it moved down. When you were done, you were met with Cassian’s gaze once more, watching you. His gaze followed the column of your throat as you swallowed. His hand moved to your face, his thumb wiping away a stray drop of whiskey on your chin. The touch itself sent a frenzy through your body, and you let out a small, quiet gasp. 

“Y/n.” He murmured.

“Yes?”

Your voice was barely above a whisper, your body still. He was closer to you now than a few moments ago, and it took everything in your power not to pull him even closer, to brush against him. 

“You can’t look at me like that.” Cassian finally replied. 

Your heart leaped, and you took a sharp intake of breath. How were you looking at him, you wondered? Mor’s words echoed in your mind: like he was a piece of meat and you were a starving vegetarian? She was right. Oh, so right. You wanted to taste him, to devour him, to have him ravish you in return. You swallowed and then whispered in response. 

“Like what?”

Cassian said nothing. He scanned your face and then his hand was moving again, brushing a stray strand of your hair from your face. When the hair still fell out of place, he gingerly grabbed it and tucked it behind your ear. You felt his finger trace the shell of your ear, falling as it reached your lobe, now on your cheek. You closed your eyes, leaning into the touch, pressing closer to him. His grasp at your hip tightened, and you felt as it moved up, his hands now grabbing the skin at your waist. 

When you opened your eyes, your gaze met his instantly. He was breathing heavily, his eyes filled with desire. "We should probably find our friends," he whispered, his voice hoarse. You nodded absentmindedly, feeling your chest tighten. Cassian’s palm slightly lifted from your cheek, the ghost of his touch lightly moving. His thumb found your lips, tugging at them slightly, you let your mouth fall open with the touch. He nearly let out a moan at the sight. 

“Or,” You whispered back, “We could go home.”

He nodded, the pad of his thumb still rubbing at your lip. “We could.”

You lifted your hand to grab his wrist softly, pulling it lower, to your chest. You felt the heat of his palm as it landed on your chest. “Cassian.” His cock pressed angrily against his zipper at the sound of his name falling from your lips so sensually, so softly. His hand trailed higher, and then he was wrapping it around your neck, his thumb running along your throat.  You savored the touch and bit your lip, looking at him through your lashes. The look was all he needed, any self-constraint quickly disappearing. 

“Let's go home.” He said, his thumb running alongside your lips once more. Then, he was spinning you both around, interlacing your fingers as he pulled you through the crowd. 

As Cassian led you out, you looked back, squinting at the mass of people. Your gaze landed on Feyre, who was already looking at you. You watched as she glanced between you and Cassian, and then she gave you a small smile, her brows slightly furrowed. Be careful. Her voice echoed in your brain, soft and gentle. You weren't sure what she was referring to, if she was talking about your trip home or the way you were entangled with your best friend. Either way it didn’t matter. You weren’t being careful, not now. You didn’t want to be. 

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 

You weren’t quite sure what to do. You’d never been in this position with someone you loved so dearly— never been in the situation where you were about to fuck your best friend. 

The way home was a blur, the cold air as you both left Rita’s in a hurry, how Cass had wrapped his arms around you, how they had wandered and explored, but nowhere too vulnerable— not yet. You had made it a few minutes before you decided to winnow back, your ability fully functioning and, at the moment, incredibly convenient. Back at the house, you both had stared at each other, breathing hard, heavy-lidded eyes with lust. You could smell it on him. You didn’t doubt that you reeked of your own arousal. But Cass has stepped away from you, for a brief moment, biting his lips as his hands curled at his sides. Whatever you want, sweetheart, is what he had said. He wanted to give you an out, a chance to change your mind, to decide that this wasn’t a line you wanted to, or were ready to, cross. The realization hit you sweetly, and it only added to your arousal, the fact that he was so aware of you. 

You had looked at him, a small nod of your head towards the hallways, towards the corridors that led to your rooms. You hadn’t said anything, a heavy silence followed you, filled with longing and desperation, a hint of anxiety. You had waited, let Cassian take the next move. If he followed, you both knew what would happen. You had given him an out, too. 

You worried when some time had passed and you were still alone in your bedroom. You walked towards your mirror, taking in your appearance, the dress on you, the evident arousal on your face, in your stature. Then you heard him. His walking. You closed your eyes, hearing his heavy footsteps enter your room. You heard your door shut, and the footsteps grew louder until you felt him behind you, the warmth of his body enveloping you completely. You let out a small breath. 

“Cass,” You whispered, your eyes opening and meeting his in the mirror.

His hands found your hips, and he pulled you back into him. You felt his hard length against you, pressing against your exposed back, the heat of it alone causing you to let out a small, shaky breath. You leaned back into him, rubbing against him as his fingers tightened around you. Craning your head to the side, Cassian took advantage of your exposed neck, running his nose along it, inhaling your scent. He nudged the sweet spot behind your ears, your knees almost giving out as his lips trailed the shell of your ear, feeling his hot breath against your skin. 

His voice, rough as gravel, sent a wave through you of something you couldn’t name, but it was heavy, hot, and made you so incredibly horny. “Sweetheart, are you…” He trailed off. 

Sure? Sober? You had a feeling that sober is what his question seemed to probe at. You nodded, nodded frantically. Every shot you had taken tonight had no effect on your body, not anymore. You’d felt the last lingering effects of your final shot as you both came home, feeling as it slipped out of your system. And if he was asking if you were sure, that answer was yes, too. You were boldly, acutely, and fully aware of the moment, of each sensation in your body— fully aware of the ache in your legs, of how good Cassian smelled. “Yes, yes.” You whispered.

“Thank god,” He groaned– a guttural, animalistic sound. 

Before you could blink, Cassian was spinning you around. You let out a gasp, your view quickly taken up by the image of his face hovering over yours. He held your face in both of his hands, his thumbs swiping across your cheeks. His eyes scanned you in desperation, as if he was searching for something within the details of your features. Whatever he was looking for he seemed to find as he brought his lips to yours, giving in entirely with a soft moan of relief. His arms moved to wrap around your waist, and you moaned into him, flinging your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. He kissed you harder. 

“You sure?” Cassian whispered, floating the question again. He slid his warm palm up and over your hips, to your waist, your ribs, and back down again. You let out a sigh at his touch, running your palms up to pull the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“Yes,” You said as he feathered kisses along your neck. “Are you?” 

You felt Cassian nod against you, a small breathless laugh left his lips as he came up for another kiss. “Fuck yes. I’ve been dreaming about this.” And then he placed another kiss on your lips, deep and sensual. Hunger radiated off him like a starved man. His words turned you to jelly and you swore you could feel your wetness running down your thighs. 

“This dress,” he breathed against your lips, “I wanted to rip it off you the minute I saw it.”

Before you can react, he reached out and gripped the fabric of your dress, yanking it downward with a force that left your heart racing. You gasped as the material was torn from your body, leaving you standing before him in nothing but your underwear. You watched in awe as he threw the torn fabric aside, a small sound emitting as the jewels made contact with the hard floor. The cold air immediately took the place of the warmth of your clothing, making you shiver with pleasure.

“That was Mor’s!” You managed to breathe out, looking at the discarded pile of fabric. Your words died in your throat the minute you caught Cassian’s gaze again. There was a predatory look in his eyes as he took you in, and you remembered now that you were completely naked now, save for a lacy pair of panties. Your nipples perked, hard and ready, in the cold air. Cassian, his gaze unmoving, simply grumbled back, “I’ll buy her a new one.” 

Cassian's eyes roamed over your naked body, his gaze heated as he took in the sight of you, completely at his mercy. His hands reached out, his fingers tracing a path down your arms, making you shake with anticipation. His hands moved to your hips, gripping you firmly as he pulled you closer. "You have no idea how beautiful you are," He said, "How much I've wanted this." You felt his erection, hard and ready, pressing against your stomach.

His lips found yours, his tongue plunging deep into your mouth as he kissed you with all the passion he'd been holding back. You felt the desire radiating from him, making you feel wanted and desired in a way that nothing else ever had. As he broke the kiss, his eyes locked on yours, filled with pure, unfiltered lust. "I'm going to make you come," he growled, his voice low and rough. "And when I do, you'll never forget the way I made you feel."

With that, he plunged his tongue back into your mouth, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer as you stand there, naked and vulnerable, your cunt throbbing with every word, every touch. Your hands gripped his hair, your fingers tangling in the strands as you pulled him closer, your bodies pressed together in a frenzy of passion.

Cassian broke away from you for a moment, his breath hot and heavy against your lips. "Jump," he murmured, his voice low and seductive. Without hesitation, you lifted yourself into his arms as he pulled you into him effortlessly. He wrapped himself around you, his hands gripping at your ass, fingers digging into your skin. You felt his erection pressing against you, underneath you, with desperate need.

He took a few steps before he carefully dropped you onto your bed with a bounce. You fell onto your back, your eyes wide with desire as you looked up at him. He took you in with his eyes, every detail of your body etched in his mind, hungrily saving the image of you for later.

Cassian's movements were hurried and frenzied as he removed his own shirt, discarding it carelessly on the floor near your--Mor's-- shredded dress. As he moved, you sat up from your supine position, your legs naturally falling to either side, finding yourself yourself in a kneeling position. You looked up at Cass. The sight of you like this, vulnerable and expectant, only intensified the hunger in his eyes, and he groaned.

You reached out to him and ran your fingertips along the waistband of his black pants, watching as his stomach muscles clenched in response to your touch. Cassian caught your wrists in his hands, looking down at you hungrily, he shook his hand. “Not yet, sweetheart. Let me savor this.”

You let out a small whimper, the sound shooting straight to his dick, causing the hardening length to throb in anticipation. But when he released your hands, you kept them at his waistband, bringing your hand to palm him through the fabric of his pants. 

“Please,” You whimpered, “I want to.”

And what kind of man would Cassian be to deny you? To say no to you as you looked up at him with those glossy eyes, your lips running along your lips? He moaned, feeling as if he could cum at the sight of you alone. This, you, were better than any of his fantasies— and he had come up with a lot within the past two weeks.  

You stared at him, at the way his muscles ripped under this golden skin, at the black tattoos curling around him, at the way his wings flared out openly, dominantly. You ached to be closer, to be able to touch the sensitive membrane. You licked your lips, taking in the curl of his biceps, the sharp dips of his hips, Gods, he was beautiful. He brought his right hand to your face, holding it tenderly before moving his hand to grab your hair at the back of your head. You took that as your invitation, leaning forward to undo his pants. With his buttons undone, you pulled the fabric down, Cassian’s hands aiding you to slide his underwear off with it. 

You let out a gasp at his length, at the girth, the veins pulsing on the underside of his cock. Red and hungry at the tip, leaking. You were watering at the sight. A deep sense of jealousy pooled into your stomach, images of every female he’d been with before, every female who had the pleasure of experiencing this before you. Mine. You thought. Mine. Pushing yourself closer to him, you kissed a line down his stomach.

You felt his muscles tense beneath your lips as you wrapped your fingers around him. He hissed as you rubbed your hands up his considerable length, the sound repeating when you spit on the head, a trail of saliva connecting your lips to his shaft.  You dragged the flat of your tongue upward, against the underside of his cock. Cassian’s reaction was instant, bucking into your grip with a breathless, raspy, moan that sent a wave of arousal down your body. You allowed your hand to follow the trail, spreading your saliva. Your mouth sunk down on him.  As you hollowed your cheeks, Cassian pushed himself harder, letting out a sinful groan as you welcomed him, taking him deeper in your throat.

“Gods,” Cassian tightened his jaw as he watched his cock disappear between your swollen lips with every bob of your head. “That pretty little mouth of yours.”

You swirled your tongue around the head of his cock, Cassian’s head falling backward as he moaned, his grip in your hair getting tighter. You moaned in response, the sound vibrating through him. You shifted on your thighs, rubbing them together in an attempt to relieve some of your own arousal.  With a wet pop, you released him from your mouth, looking directly up at him as he stared at you with naked lust. You greedily swallowed the taste of him that coated your tongue.

“Enough. My turn.” He said, his voice halfway between growl and purr, a feral sound from deep in his chest that reverberated through your core. Cassian’s hand found your chest, after a squeeze of your breasts, his palm settled above your ribs. With a soft push, you were flat on your back again. He leaned over you and you seized the opportunity to rock against his thigh, your pussy throbbing at every touch of his, desperate for friction. But he moved quickly, leaving you grasping for touch. “Cassian.” You moaned. You pulled him back up again, desperate to have him close, slotting your lips against him. 

He accepted another hungry, ravenous kiss from you before he moved down, trailing hard kisses down your jaw and across your collarbone. Your hands tugged at him,  roaming over the length of his shoulders and the plane of his back, you trailed your fingers along his wings, the sensitive and soft membrane. You felt him shudder at the touch, watched as those beautiful wings twitched. You needed more.

Cassian stopped, taking a moment to bite into the soft flesh at the base of your neck. You let out a moan, throwing your hands into his hair as he sucked on the tender skin, soothing the area with a swipe of his tongue. He removed his mouth, tilting his head to make slight eye contact with you, a cocky grin placed on his lips. 

“I’ll paint you in my marks, Y/n.”  He whispered, moving his head down to continue his trail of kisses, “Just to have evidence that I was lucky enough to be here.”

He brought one hand between your thighs, his large calloused fingers dancing over your sensitive flesh, his perfect mouth still exploring you, tasting your skin. Your moans tumbled from your mouth, outside of your control, flowing like a river. You tightened your grasp on his hair, your fingers raking his scalp, pelvis lifting into his touch. Your legs widened further to provide him better access, knees dropping to the side. 

“To feel this.” Cassian’s fingers pulled your underwear aside and ran themselves through the wetness at your core, through your sensitive folds. His finger delicately circled your clit, rubbing at it in a way that had you mewing at his touch.

You let out a gasp as one probed at your entrance, your warm core welcoming it greedily. You felt his finger curl, and then arched into him as he added another, working in and out of you. You could hear the squelch of your juices as he fingered you, could feel the way your essence dripped with each movement. 

A disappointed sigh left your lips when the warmth of his hand left you. But seconds later, as you looked down at him with your hands in his hair, he pulled himself up slightly– just enough to look at you. Just enough to make eye contact as he tilted his head and stuck his slick fingers into his mouth. He lapped at the wetness coating his fingers. 

“Fuck, you taste better than I imagined.” He said, moving down to drop to his knees at the edge of the bed, between your spread legs. You propped yourself up on your elbows to keep your gaze on him. He looked at you, heavy lidded, his mouth glistening with the remnants of your slick. “May I?”

Please, please. He didn’t need to ask, you thought. You wanted him everywhere, wanted him on you, in you, all over you. Whatever he wanted was what you wanted. You lazily nodded, your tongue darting out again to wet your lips. 

“Words, sweetheart,” Cassian murmured, placing hot and wet kissing along your thighs. His arms snaked under your thighs, hands reaching to grab your hips and pull you closer. He slowly peeled your drenched panties off your body. “I want to hear you.”

“Yes,” You finally managed to croak out. Your voice deep and needy. “Please, Cass.”

And then his tongue was on you, licking a stripe up your dripping sex. You let out a loud moan at the contact, at the feeling of his tongue. He flattened his tongue against your folds, dragging it slowly.  Your hands found his hair and gripped it roughly between your fingers, your body curling around him. Cassian’s tongue dipped into your hole, darting in, again and again.  Your legs trembled as stars began to cloud your vision. 

“Cassian,” You choked out, feeling the building pressure in your stomach. You tried bucking your hips, but Cassian kept your thighs still, steady in a position where you couldn’t escape his wicked mouth. His tongue alternated between teasing your clit and slipping into your entrance. Your spined bowed in pleasure, and you brought one hand to your breasts, rubbing them and pinching at your nipples as Cassian ravaged you.

“You’re delicious. So fucking delicious.” Cassian crooned as he pulled apart from your cunt. He took a minute to admire the sweet image of you dripping in front of him, and then he dove back in. He let out a moan, quiet but still audible, and you noticed his other hand had removed itself from your thigh, now hidden from your view. As you looked, you saw it visibly moving, frantically, desperately. Cassian was eating you out and rubbing his own cock at it, pleasuring himself as he lapped at you. You moaned at the idea alone. The noises you made were loud, loud enough that you knew your family would hear if they were home already. But you didn’t care, you had no shame. Let them hear.

Cassian was murmuring into your core; he repeated something, the words falling from him like a prayer from a dying man. You were barely able to hear his whispers over the sound of your own blood rushing through your ears. Cassian pulled back a little then, heedless of your firm hold on his hair, watching you with his jaw set, eyes dark and greedy.

“Oh, Y/n,” he said huskily. “I could feast on this beautiful pussy forever, you know that?”

As he withdrew his mouth, he replaced its presence with his fingers instead. His thumb resumed the stimulation on your clit while his fingers moved inside your. When he slid another finger into you, your hips jumped, moving to meet his fingers faster. He curled his fingers into you as you rutted down harder. He groaned as your walls clenched when he curled his fingers, hitting a spot that had you whining his name. Your face contorted in pleasure and you let your head fall back. Cassian’s hand gripped at your thigh, calling your attention back.

“Down here,” He hummed, “Keep those pretty eyes down here.”

You brought your head back up, supporting yourself with your elbows. Cassian’s eyes stayed on yours as he lowered himself to your sex again, nustling his nose against your clit before he licked a stripe up your cunt, bringing his mouth to suck on your clit. You felt his fingers enter you again– one, then two. They brushed against you as he lapped at your clit, drawing circles with his tongue. You could barely breathe, the air leaving your lungs as Cassian filled your body with sweet, suffocating ecstasy. Your right hand found itself in his hair again, grabbing, pulling. He let out a groan at the feeling, and continued to lap at you.

You felt it everywhere, felt him everywhere. Pleasure gushed through your body, every part of your body sensitive. You writhed under him, your vision of Cassian growing blurry as you felt your pleasure build, coiling deep in your belly, ready to explode. You’re weren't sure what was up or down, forgotten where you were completely. Nothing existed except you and Cassian and the way he fucked you with his fingers and his mouth, and Gods, the thought of your reality alone made you want to cum. You grinded against his mouth, feeling as he grabbed you, pulled you closer, harder, against him, completely smothering him. 

“Oh my Gods, yes, yes, yes.” The sounds you were emitting were music to his ears and Cassian continued. 

The mixture of your pleasure, of Cassian’s grunts, his smells, of the way his wings twitched with each of your moans, made it even sweeter when Cassian brought another finger to your entrance. That tight, hot, built-up coil in your stomach loosened and you shriled loudly, your back bowing off the bed beneath you. Your whole body quaked as your orgasm rippled through you.

Cassian was in heaven— he was sure of it. You were a vision, your cheeks flushed, your lips parted as you moaned out in pleasure, your hard grasp in his hair. He felt every sound from your lips, every whisper of his name falling straight to his aching cock. Cassian, fuck, Cassian. You chanted them like a prayer and he swallowed them all. You were something holy, something absolutely divine and he felt himself losing it. He wanted to worship you forever, to stay buried in your cunt and die a happy man. Every man before him hadn’t appreciated you enough. He wanted to make you his, his beautiful creature, his goddess. 

Cassian slowed his movements, but didn’t halter them completely as he let you work through the wave of your pleasure. Your hand had gone lax in his hair, and he took the opportunity to pepper kisses across your skin — across your legs, across your cunt, even the sweaty crook of your thigh, anywhere his lips could reach. The hand that once gripped your thighs so tightly softened. Cassian rubbed gentle circles around your skin. He waited, and only until your body stopped shaking and you let out a small content sigh between your ragged breaths did he remove his fingers from you. 

He gave your core a slight smack and you let out a gasp, the action sending a spark throughout your body, leaving you aching and throbbing more than you had been seconds before. Cassian gave you a smirk. 

“Holy fuck,” You breathed, looking at him with wide eyes. “Cassian…” You watched as he stood up, bringing his fingers to his mouth as he licked off your juices once more. Your gaze dropped to his chest, and then to his throbbing cock. He stroked it as he looked at you, and your core ached once more, clenching at the thought of him inside you. Cassian stared at you, lips parted, drinking the sight of you eagerly. You pushed yourself further up, scooting back enough to lie flat on the middle of your bed. 

“You are a vision. A godsdamn vision,” Cassian spoke, the words falling off his tongue in a breathless confession, “Thought about this for so long.” He walked over to you. 

You gulped at the admission, thinking back onto your own fantasies of him, of his hands, of his mouth. You blinked, watching as he braced his hands on the bed. “Yeah?” 

Cassian nodded, bringing his hand to rub alongside your legs, tracing the curves of your body. As he crawled onto the bed, he let his hands wander with every movement. “Yeah, sweetheart.” 

The nickname made your heart clench, and you felt your wetness building once again, your pussy still sensitive from your previous orgasm. “Tell me.” You whispered. He straightened himself, moving to hover over you. With one arm supporting his weight, Cassian rocked his hips against yours. He molded his other hand to your breasts, sucking in a deep, ragged breath. You arched into his touch, mewing for more. You felt your heart throb, a warmth enveloping your chest. You couldn’t breathe. All you wanted to feel was him, his hands, his skin, his touch. His touch cascaded down your body, grabbing at your thighs, pulling them closer to him. 

“Rubbed myself raw at the thought of you underneath me like this.” He placed a kiss to your chest, quickly turning it into a small love bite, sucking at the skin tenderly. He released your skin with a brush of his teeth, bringing his fingers to softly touch the bruised skin.  His fingers returned to your torso, teasing your nipples once more, bringing them between his fingers. He bent his head down and took one of your nipples into his mouth. You arched into him, letting out a sweet sound at the wet contact. Cass swirled his tongue around the hardened nub before gently tugging it with his teeth, causing you to let out a cry of pleasure that quickly turned into a whine when he lifted his head. He lightly blew on your nipple, eliciting a soft gasp of pleasure as your nipple peaked harder, responding to the contrast of his hot mouth and the cool air. He repeated the same motions with your other breast. 

You moaned as you felt him tease your entrance with the head of his cock, rubbing it against your clit and around your inner lips. You impatiently bucked your hips, trying to guide him where you wanted him, where you ached for him, but Cassian’s firm hand on your lower abdomen halted your movements.You looked up at him with frustration, frowning at the sly grin on his mouth. 

“Cass, please,” You pleaded with broken whimpers. Cassian said nothing, moving his head down to kiss alongside your neck, taking your earlobe between his teeth. He teased you more, and in a movement of exasperation, fueled by the swelling and throbbing of your heat, you pulled him towards you by his neck. You placed your forehead against his, looking at him through heavy eyes. “Cassian, please fuck me already.”

Cassian gave you a wolfish grin. “Since you asked so nicely,” he said, bringing you in for another kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, the kiss wet with desire and something more you couldn't place. Taking a breath and pulling apart, Cassian moved his hand to grab his cock, stroking it once, twice, before lining it up with your entrance. 

You let out a deep moan as he pushed into you, feeling yourself stretching around him. Your previous climax had left you sensitive, so sensitive that the first rock of Cassian’s hips left you gasping for air. Cass let out a guttural groan, leaning his forehead against yours as he bottomed out. His hair clung to his forehead. You looked up at him, at his mouth open in pleasure, and ran your hands alongside his face. 

“Fuck,” His breath fanned your face. He looked at you with that deep intensity in his gaze that stirred your heart. The next thrust was just as slow, Cassian pushing in as deep as your body would allow. “You, You feel fucking incredible.”

You closed your eyes, the sensations overwhelming you. But soon, Cassian’s voice snapped again, and you felt one hand grab your face, his hand holding your jaw, his thumb rubbing at your lips. “Look at me, beautiful.” He said, letting his thumb dip into your mouth. 

You spread legs spread open to the sides as he began to vigorously slam into you with no restraint, never breaking the eye contact he'd so quickly grown to love. He drank it all in: the clapping noises of flesh and your sensual screams, the sensation of your wet heat wrapped around him, the sopping sounds of your love making, and the way your nails dug into his arms as he told you how good you felt. 

You rolled your hips, pushing against his merciless rhythm of thrusts. Cassian looked down at where your bodies met, at where his cock filled you,  entranced by the way your hips subconsciously tilted at the intrusion, at how your hole welcomed him. With a growl, he lifted your legs over his shoulders, positioning you perfectly for his rough, relentless thrusts. Your breath caught in your throat as your watched him fuck you, your heart pounding in her chest. “Cass, Cassian.”

“Keep saying my name, baby.” The pet name fell from his lips so effortlessly, caressing you like another wave of heat. “Tell me how good it feels.”

As he continued to move inside you, your thoughts jumbled into a mess of pure pleasure. You let out a string of incoherent words, your mind drunk on the feeling of him stretching you, hitting spots you’d never experienced before. “S’Good.” You whimpered. You wrapped your arms tighter across his shoulders, reaching to touch the delicate membrane of his wings. They twitched under your fingertips, and you felt Cassian let out a moan before the sound registered in your ear. He snaked a hand where your bodies met, finding your swollen, aching clit, and began to rub circles around it. You gasped. 

“I wish I could be here forever,” Cassian groaned, his lips hovering over your ears, “Stay buried inside of your cunt. Fuck you like this for the rest of my life.” You didn't know if Cassian was aware of what he was saying, aware of what it implied, but you didn't care. It all felt so good, and his words made every stroke even more pleasurable. You wanted this, you wanted this for the rest of your life– you’d never experienced something this great, never known this level of pleasure could exist. 

“Please, Cass. Please.” You didn't know what you were begging for, but Cassian hushed you, peckering kisses all over you, his head fell in the crook of your shoulder, moving to bring his teeth to the sensitive skin at your neck. You moaned. “Yes, yes. Mark me. I’m yours.”

Your words seemed to hit a part of him, forcing him to pull away and stare at you with wide eyes. He stilled inside of you.  "Say that again," he commanded, his voice low and gravelly.

"I'm yours," you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. You brought your hands to his face, gently rubbing his cheeks. The tender, soft touch sent a shock straight to his cock, and he pulled you into a deep kiss. When you pulled apart for air, Cassian’s strokes began to pick up again, his forehead resting on yours. "Fuck me like I'm yours." You said to him, your voice filled with raw desire. 

Cassian’s mind shuffled through the past two weeks, the memories of the bartender hitting on you, of the men who never satisfied you. He felt a primal possessiveness, a need to take you faster, harder, deeper. His thrusts became more aggressive, more forceful, his wings caressing you as they wrapped around both of your bodies. You cried out in pleasure, your body arching beneath him, hands gripping the sheets as you took him deep inside you.

He watched you, admired your body sprawled on the bed before him, his hands on your hips, holding you at just the right angle. His mouth salivated at your beautiful face, flushed and red, and the way your breasts bounced in time with his thrusts. The noise of your fucking was obscene - the soft squeaks of your bed, the wet sounds of your bodies slapping together, the moans and curse words and harsh breathing. His grip on your hips tightened and his thrusts became more erratic. 

Cassian’s movements became faster than you could process– one moment, he was thrusting into you, and the next, he was picking you up, maneuvering you so that you were sitting on his thighs, looking at him as he leaned back. You gasped at the new angle, at the feeling of sinking onto him completely.  His eyes locked on yours as you straddled him and his hands guided you up and down his cock, your bodies slick with sweat and desire. 

"Fuck, you feel so good," he groaned, his hands gripping your ass, guiding you closer to him with each thrust. You could feel his cock swelling inside you, your pussy clenching around him as you rode him harder, faster, your body craving more. “Ride me just like that, sweetheart.” His voice rang in your head, making you dizzy. You arched forward towards him. One hand left your ass, going to grab one of your breasts, fondling with your nipple.  His eyes were dark with desire, his gaze never leaving yours as he watched you take him deep inside you.

As you sank down onto him, his hips bucked up to meet you, your bodies connecting with a primal force. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, your pussy clenching around him as you moaned softly, your eyes closing in pleasure. But Cassian didn't want you to close your eyes. He wanted you to look at him, to see the raw fire in his eyes as he took you. He reached up, his hand wrapping around your throat, his fingers digging in just enough to make you gasp.

"Look at me," he growled, his voice rough like gravel. The sound itself made you clench around him as he fucked you. You opened your eyes, your breath catching in your throat as you met his gaze. His eyes were dark, filled with lust and possession, and you could feel your orgasm building as you looked at him. His hand tightened around your throat as he began to fuck you harder, his hips bucking up to meet you.

You felt his cock sliding deeper inside you, your pussy clenching around him, your body shaking with pleasure.

"Fuck, yes," he groaned, "Look at me. Let me see you fall apart on my cock."

As you felt the intensity of your orgasm building, he pulled you down, holding you to his chest, in place, as he continued to thrust into you. You moaned, your forehead resting against his, your eyes locked on his as he continued to fuck you, his cock sliding in and out of you. "Cassian, please, please, I'm so close," you whimpered, your voice hoarse. His hands gripped your ass roughly, pulling you closer to him, sliding deeper and deeper into you with each thrust. 

You felt his heart pounding beneath you, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he fucked you, his eyes never leaving yours.  He stared at you as he whispered, "I've got you, baby. I've got you."

Your body trembled, your moans grew louder, and soon your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave– your body shook with pleasure, your pussy clenching around him, milking him. You gasped his name, your body convulsing over him, your sensitivity consuming you completely. You felt him tense, his cock swelling even more, and you knew that he was close as well.

His thrusts were rough and hard, each one sending waves of warmth coursing through you. Your body responded to his movements, your cunt massaging him, clenching around him, making him groan in response. He increased his pace, his thrusts becoming even rougher, sloppy, and more urgent. His hips moved in a frenzy, each thrust driving him deeper into you, his cock sliding against your most sensitive spots, making you moan with pleasure. You felt his balls slapping against your ass, the sound and sensation driving you wild, your hands grasped at him, at his shoulders, at his neck, at his hair. 

You felt the tension building within him, his body tensing underneath you as he neared his climax. He gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your skin, holding you in place as he drove into you. You were certain he’d leave marks in their wake, that your hips, your thighs, your body would be bruised with the evidence of his touch. It made you feral. 

Cassian’s breaths were ragged as he bucked into you roughly, a string of curses falling from his lips. Finally, he let out a low, primal grunt, his face contorted with pleasure as he came, his cum spilling deep within you. You felt the warmth of his seed filling you, the sensation making you shiver with pleasure. His thrusts became slower, gentler, as he tried to catch his breath, his body still trembling from the intensity of his orgasm. His grip on you loosened, and his hands began to rub up and down your spine, gently, softly, lovingly. 

You both laid there for a moment, his cock still deep inside you. Pushing yourself up, you sat upright, Cassian letting out a groan at the feeling of him still inside you, your juices leaking between your legs and onto his skin. His hands rubbed at either of your thighs, both of you breathing heavily as you stared at one another— lips swollen, skin flushed, hair disheveled. You let out a deep breath and let your mouth fall open slightly. 

“You are incredible.” Cassian breathed out, looking up at you, still entranced in your beauty. He admired the marks on your body from his mouth, and felt a small smirk growing on his lips. You let out a small exhausted laugh, your hands coming to rest at his shoulders, rubbing your thumb absentmindedly on his skin. 

“So,” You said, still breathless, your voice raspy, “What now?”

#cassian x reader #cassian fanfic #cassian #cassian smut #cassian x reader smut #cassian x you smut #cassian acotar #cassian fic #cassian x y/n #cassian x you #cassian/reader #cassian x y/n smut #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut #acowar #smut #cassian fanfiction