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lovesickeros · 7 months

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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #neuvillette #focalors #furina #dont ask what happened here idk #this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up #got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story #focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her #what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell #neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all #ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions #using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS #constant anxiety and panic 24/7 #will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry #compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more #i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY #i want 2 put them under a microscope #watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving #anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days

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rougerave · 7 months

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"Bruce Wayne can't cook to save his life." That's a load of bullshit. Listen Bruce can cook, he just doesn't have the time for it, and the fact that he hardly passes as functional human being.

You can't tell me that in all his traveling he hasn't picked up something. If he can remember miniature details for a case that was three years ago, he can remember recipes.

Listen other than Alfred, Martha Wayne was the only person who knew how to cook. Martha wasn't going to let her son become like his father it that department. She and Alfred taught Bruce everything from the correct utensils to how to properly spice meat, "BBQ spice is not for chicken Master Bruce, have some class."

That was one thing Alfred and Bruce still kept doing after his parents died, and because of this he becomes an amazing cook.

When he meant Taila, trust and believe that she went Gordon Ramsey on his ass when she taught him how to cook the meals of her homeland (that's when he fell in love with her. I refuse to believe anything else on this matter), and obviously as he traveled he gained more knowledge on different dishes. Most from his masters and some from random old ladies that he came across.

The problem comes when he desides to take over the company and become the cities regular furry problem. He just doesn't have time and this leads to his kids never finding out. They grow up knowing that Alfred cooks. They also don't know that on rare occasion that Bruce is free he would sneek into their apartments and make food that can be frozen and reheated, because just like him, his kids can hardly pass as functional.

And that's how Jason found him, one random Tuesday. There his father was, floating around in a black AC/DC t-shirt, gray slacks, sparkly pink crocs(Dick), Jason's apron (because Jason is the only kid that knows how to cook) and the Rolling Stones playing form a speaker that was definitely Tim's. Bruce only glances at him before speaking, "Go change, wash your hands, then come cut the carrots." then goes to drain the pasta, and because Jason is to stunned to speak he goes without a word.

Jason doesn't bring it up, so Bruce won't bring it up.

One thing he does do every night is make Damian, Duke, Tim and Steph's school lunch. He strongly objects to the idea of his babies eating Gotham Academy/University powder egg shit. No sir.

That's how the family found out. That was funny.

"I once saw you put salt and vinegar Lay's in bread."

"Not my finest moment."

They tell Dick. He laughs in their face until he sees his dad in his kitchen cutting onions without flinching or wiping his eyes.

"You have no soul."

"Yes I don't. Wash your hand and cut that baby marrow."

"But I don't like baby marrow." he complained as he washed his hands.

"I have no soul, right?"

Dick sticks out his tongue, he get whacked by a wooden spoon.

#Bruce the chef #Batfamily shenanigans #Damian tears up #Jason and Bruce cook together as therapy #Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #Batfam #Batkids #Someone make a AU out of this please #Get threatened by their father who is holding a wooden spoon is scarier than his disappointed voice #Martha Wayne would be proud #Cass found out when he helped her with a case in Hong Kong.#She is very much in love with his food and trust and believe she would brag about it at any point.#Thalia sends recipes to Bruce so he can make them for Damian and Jason

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moeblob · 27 days

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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ryanthedoctor11 · 10 days

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Imagine a support group being created for your exes, purely to help them move on from you

#doctor who #the doctor #dr who #dw #I'm talking about the ex-companion support group in POTD #also #imagine if you just showed up #and claimed to be one of your exes #like Mel attends the group #she visits 14 a lot #I can totally imagine her dragging the Doctor and Donna into it #saying it would be “good for him”#but he doesn't want them to know who he is because it would be so awkward #so he pretends he was his own companion #and pretends that 15 telling him to go get therapy was the break up #and all the other companions see through it really quickly because he keeps on remembering or adding onto the things they all talk about #and he doesn't travel with stupid people #so it's awkward anyway (especially for him and Yaz)#someone please draw this #I've been thinking about it for months

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tsuchinokoroyale · 1 month

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How are you not someone's wife already???

I’ve licherally got no room for a man like where’s he gonna fit??

Not to mention…

#the real tea is that my brain operates purely on vibes and gets locked in very hard #if I’m interested in someone I tend to stay interested in them forever #but by the same coin if someone doesn’t strike my interest immediately they can’t do much to change my mind #I wouldn’t consider myself a romantic at all but all of my long term relationships began with sparks flying #I have changed my perspective on people before but only on a friendship level #my current fwb is a good example he’s poly so he left the door open for our fwb sitch to evolve if I was interested #and I def considered it for a long while but while he’s very hot and I get along with him great as a friend we did not have sparks #and trying to cultivate romantic feelings for him just didn’t happen much to my own dismay #he’s truly great I really don’t see where the disconnect between us is #I’m trying to therapy my way through this just because I get incredibly frustrated when I don’t understand something about myself #but I’m also really not too panini pressed about it love will come and go as it pleases #I got soooooo many baby to lovins in the meantime 😍😍😍

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gregorsamsaautism · 1 year

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Pain and misery headcanon for today is that gregor has really bad intrusive thoughts about hurting/killing people with his transformed arm and constantly being on a bus full of people does. Not help

#so normal about all of them btw #limbus company #can someone please get gregor some therapy and/or SSRIs #gregor #gregor lcb

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brjeauregard · 1 year

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I have so many thoughts about the Laudna and Ashton conversation. Like claiming to understand loneliness more than anyone else when talking to the woman who spoke to a dead rat because she was alone for so long was a choice. But it’s also so easy to isolate yourself and feel alone when you’re blinded by your own self loathing. I don’t think Ashton believes only he knows what it means to be lonely, but for so long he had no one to relate to. Laudna gave them a much needed reality check and hopefully he knows that there are people he can talk to.

But at the same time Ashton is the only one in the group who knows what it’s like to be abandoned by people you thought were family. Whether they want to admit it or not, I believe that Ashton genuinely cared about the nobodies and they just left him to die. That’s a different kind of lonely. If the people you love most in the world decide it’s worth the risk to help you, then did they ever love you back? What if no one actually cares about you? Even though Laudna spent 30 years alone, she was never abandoned by the people she considered family.

#critical role #cr spoilers #ashton greymoore #Laudna #I will never shut up about Ashton #they’re so devastatingly relatable #I’m sure we’ve all been so caught up in feeling like shit that we’ve forgotten that other people can relate to us #it’s so easy to feel alone when you bottle everything up and refuse to talk to anyone #someone get them some therapy please

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lesbiangiratina · 8 months

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I dreamt about a game where testament was the main playable character. It seemed story driven like in an overture-esque way. I briefly lived in a better world

#i didnt. get to any gameplay but like i knew it was a game in my dream.#it opened in a museum (or aquarium? idk i think it was wet.)#and someone recognized them as a gear and knew about them and it went into some lore there #but i kept feeling like i missed dialogue so i kept starting over? lol. so i didnt get far.#it was kinda spliced between a totally different dream. which didnt help either.#also i was only asleep for lile an hour and a half. which is so sad #please i want to dream about testament game allllllllll night :(#also i got sleep paralysis in the dream. i assume that was me half awake getting sleep paralysis in real life.#i get a very fucking loud ringing in my ears when that happens and it was very accurate to that.#okay. okay i need to readjust to reality in the next hour. i got therapy. wish me luck.#the kat goes meow

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craycraybluejay · 5 months

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Slippery slope fallacy is a fallacy I just personally was already like this way before I found an outlet or communities to try to control and co-exist with myself.

Like. The first time I considered killing someone was at ≈10 or 11 probably. First fetish stuff came earlier. What puritans don't want to realize is that a lot of people just have stuff that may or may not be viable to act on within their personality. I mean, they would realize it if they didn't indiscriminately act on strange saviour complexes and entitled ideas and the desire to hurt other people behind a shield of social justice etc etc but I digress.

Everyone deserves safe and healthy outlets for their feelings and thoughts. And it's not because sex is nasty or because rage is evil. It's because sometimes you want to cry and complain but you know your friend is busy with their own nightmarish issues. You write about it. You call your boss a bitch. You say you hope your mother in law dies in a car wreck. You draw yourself drowning cause that's what the pain feels like right now. You listen to music with powerfully dark lyrics. You punch a pillow or roll up balls of paper and throw them all over. It's not just pain, either. You cannot just give everyone everything all the time. You'll hurt them, or they'll hurt you; you need time with yourself. Read a story. Make a scarf. It doesn't matter if there's blood and guts involved so long as you are safe and not endangering anyone without their consent. You have a crush on your teacher and your friends tell you its gross. Doodle something, related or not. Draft a long mean text to your insensitive friends and don't send it. Just keep it. Or delete it. Doesn't matter.

How it must hurt to deny yourself catharsis; to feel watched and judged even in your thoughts and feelings. How fucking heartbreaking. You don't deserve that, even if you personally are a total asswipe of a person. So stop doing it to yourself. Dance like no one's watching. Cause I promise you, they aren't. And it wouldn't matter anyway. It's not their business. Stop letting people grab away your sketchbook and feeling like YOU should be ashamed of what you make there and not them for the violation of privacy. Stop letting people convince you you must be under constant scrutiny lest you suddenly turn cartoonishky evil. Just stop.

#rant #anti anti #the anti cult #please please get out #i am begging you it is not worth the stress #you will never be pure and infantile enough for them #catharsis #art is therapy #coping skills #literally scariest cult ive seen in awhile they deny you basic coping skills like make thing and look at thing #profic #thought crime #reblog please #i hope this snaps someone out of it genuinely #judgement complex #being judged #just stop #freedom of expression #puritans #puritanism #anti purity culture #anti puritan #the kids are not alright #this IS a mental health crisis and no one is talking about it that way #in this day and age where the world is scary as fuck and minorities are under constant fire #youth NEED to feel fully safe to deal with their feelings and let themselves be #with so called 'parental rights' abusive movements on the rise we need to stop infantilizing and judging young people #and making them feel backed into a corner #ffs write something fucked up in your diary live a little no one whos judging you is worth your time #if i listened to bullies i too would be miserable like antis and radfems but i dont listen bc idc

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