thinking about stobin in the direct aftermath of starcourt. thinking about them getting dropped off at the buckleys by claudia and dustin (the harrington house is too big, too lonely, too full of shadows that neither of them are ready to sit amongst). robins parents fluttering around them, scared to leave them alone for one second lest their daughter disappear again for days. steve trying his best to be polite and grateful but if hes being honest everythings all blurry now and he's not sure if the drugs are still in his system but everything seems to be spinning around him, slightly. robin who notices this and leads them both gently up to her room, helping steve up the stairs. she gets him an icepack for his bruises and a cuddle for the injuries she can't fix. they bath together, nearly fall asleep amongst the bubbles. guide each other out of it and into some pyjamas of sorts (robin in some sleeping shorts and an old t shirt from when she first joined high school and steve in a hawkins high marching band shirt and a pair of mr buckleys sweatpants). steve making some offhand comment about how much he likes robins room. robins heart swelling up to twice its size because wow, it feels so good to be loved, even if its indirectly. crawling into robin's twin sized bed together, pressed up against each other and craving for their warmth. fingers tangled in the others hair. whispers of promises, reassurance. robins little tiny garfield alarm clock ticking beside them, giving the silence something to live with. and then finally, finally, the eventual breakdown. horrible, wracking, silent sobs as they hold each other. shaking bodies, quivering lips. pressed so tight up against each other that it hurts, but its still not enough. because they nearly died. but they didnt. theyre alive. and now they have to live just to prove that they can.
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alright so i've been having this idea floating around in my head for a while now and you've ever seen steven universe i really hope you understand my brainrot right here
heart mind soul but as the diamonds
Blue as Heart
Yellow as Mind
White as Soul
now i dont really have much idea if whole would fit as pink bc whole also fits with white so i wont be talking about pink much.
continued after the cut here :]
But between Yellow and Blue its obviously a fight between Logic and Emotion which is something you see throughout Mind and Heart's fights so that much is obvious, but what i really want to talk about is how White and Soul are so very similar in my eyes,,, also there might be soul mischaracterization in here because my ideas of them are still very black and white but im learning so please correct me on things!!
ive been watching a lot of steven universe documentary type videos recently and one person said this about white. "white diamond disconnected herself from her logic and emotion in order to be percieved as a perfect being"
soul in a literal sense was disconnected from his logic and emotion being mind an heart, and soul wants to be the perfect mix between them, the middle, he wants to become whole who he sees as the perfect being among all of them.
another quote from either the same person or someone else (i forgot) "however acting cold, souless, almost like a machine, was not the way to work. its only intergrating aspects of the personalities of all three other diamonds, is white able to balance and become the person they were truly made to be"
again which sounds a LOT like soul(and a little bit of mind) i dont really need to explain this. it also sounds like whole (which is why i cannot connect pink to any of them)
heres a few more quotes that i'll just include as screenshots from a video:
(something that further strengthens the HMS are The Diamonds idea) v
(About white and how it sounds like soul) v
(Soul "replaced" Whole in a sense) v
(Soul threatens the other two with death, and whether he realizes it or not will kill Whole too) v
(And then White says this,, which is interesting)
i really really love making this connection between HMS and The Diamonds, I've also made a connection between Garnet and HMS and how fusion works in such a similar way to how the three become whole which i can talk about in another post
HERE ARE THE VIDEOS I WATCHED BTW!!
https://youtu.be/TLLABUPdPug?si=imtqOmpIwHcPu6Hn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eRW931Qo98
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBCzKmA4MEA
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Reading Is Fundamental
The entire drive, there had been one thing on Sam's mind, the only thing that has been plaguing him since it happened, Castiel.
Now in the cabin, Sam sat next to the angel, his gaze kept going back to the angel who's attention was elsewhere and everywhere. They kept picking up things, rattling off facts or their ponders to seemingly no one. Sam listened to every single one though.
He couldn't even begin to mask his worries that we're sketched onto his face, and as Castiel picked up another random object to observe close to their face, they told Sam, "You seem troubled," Sam looked away, "Of course, that's a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it."
The hunter turned his full attention to at Castiel, unsure how to even begin, letting go of a deep breath, "Okay. Um..." Pressing his lips tightly together, "Right now I'm just wondering about you."
Castiel frowned, placing down the object in hand, "What about me?" Sam didn't even know how that was a question, "You're worried about the burden I lifted from you."
Sam nodded, of course he was. There were so many questions that wanted to push out, he was torn. While grateful for what Castiel did, even if Castiel is what pushed him over the edge by breaking his wall, he couldn't help but worry about what's rattling in the angel's brain.
No one should be stuck with what Lucifer did to him, not even the one who broke his sanity. "I think I was done for," Sam admitted, Castiel's face held serenity, and peace which Sam didn't get.
"Do you see Lucifer?" Sam asked.
Castiel looked at him, with a sigh, "I did at first," nodding, "But that was... It was a projection of yours, I think," Scrunching up their face, it had been horrors beyond what Castiel had seen, only heard about, "sort of an aftertaste. Now I more see..." They trailed off with a peaceful smile, "well, everything."
"It's funny. I was – I was done for, too." Castiel said, in the beginning, it had been horrifying and Castiel understood why Sam couldn't sleep. They couldn't even think at that time.
That portioned with what everything that happened leading up, "The weight of all my mistakes, all those lives and souls lost, I... I couldn't take it, either." Castiel admitted, looking Sam in the eyes, "I was… I was lost until I took on your pain. It's strange to think that that helped, but –"
"I know you never did anything but try to help. I realize that, Cas, and I'm grateful." Sam said, cutting them off, "We're all grateful. And we're gonna help you get better, okay? No matter what it takes." Sam promised, being the one under that weight before, it's no good. It buries you in ways unimaginable, Sam would take that pain back if he could, even if it crushed him in the process.
Castiel looked at Sam with such sincerity and confusion," What do you mean, "better"?" With a smile Sam wished had been under different circumstances. For the longest time he'd wished to see the angel smile more, wished the angel to be happy and content, but it looked wrong like this.
Unable to answer, the angel stood up with that blissful expression, walking to Sam, tilting their head at Sam's painful expression, "Would a kiss ease your troubles?"
Out of all the things he had thought the angel would've said, it wasn't that and sputtered, "I what-- Uh, Cas, what?"
The angel picked up Sam's hand, carefully, opening it to a flat palm, turning it over to place a chocolate treat into his hand, "A kiss. I've learned humans like to indulge when they're troubled."
Sam sighed a breath of relief, nodding, his lips pressed in a tight line, relieved that it hadn't been something else. He'd assumed it was something they'd picked up from Meg, but that was just Cas, "Thanks, buddy." Accepting the treat, tucking it into his pocket. Trying to give the angel a smile even though he failed terribly, Castiel nodded and wandered back to their original seat.
Sam's guilt only festered further as watched the angel, Castiel, oh how far he'd pushed the angel to fall. It wasn't right. Not one bit.
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