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posletsvet · 7 months

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Thoughts on Geto Suguru's Psychology Pre-Defection

There's something that I've been meaning to talk about for a while now, and that is Geto's apparent tendency to conceal his negative impulses that allows for, in my view, faulty interpretations stating that he was faking his righteous beliefs all along just because assuming high moral ground gave him a sense of superiority and fed his ego. Meanwhile I would argue that, on contrary, this habit is more indicative of Geto's insecurities and heightened sense of self-awareness.

My thoughts on this underneath the cut, but beware: it's going to be long!

To begin with, I think there are two major factors playing into the misconception that I mentioned. The first one boils down to prejudice forcing people to look upon younger Geto through the lense of a person he would go on to become. The kind of cautious logic that says that a deeply empathetic, caring highschooler couldn't have turned into a murderous cult leader preaching the merits of genocide, and thus seeks ways to dehumanize him from the very beginning (because that's a terrible concept to wrap your mind around, I agree). And the second factor being... well, that Suguru's behaviour really does come off as fake at times.

We experience 'negative' emotions as naturally as 'positive' ones, and despite some of them are conventionally accepted as 'good' whereas others are painted as 'bad', no emotion is inherently harmful or invalid; they all are a part of what makes us human. While it's undoubtedly a chilly and ominous concept for someone to be completely devoid of any positive traits, just as unnatural it is to display positive responses only. Perfection is stored away at museums, no living breathing human being can go through their life without being affected by negative impulses or thinking. But more often than not negative emotions are condemned and stigmatized (in the end, we still refer to them as 'negative'), and self-consciousness can make one ashamed or guilty of experiencing them. The end result of this would be trying to hide your feelings under one more appealing appearance, creating a warp between what's intuitive and what's manifest, an inadequate emotional response.

Gojo (at least in his teenage years) is widely outspoken and doesn't hesitate to outwardly express himself, whether verbally or via body language. It probably takes root in Gojo's upbringing: he was spoilt rotten, revered for being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, his every whim indulged and tended to. There simply wasn't any need for him to try and make a good impression by faking docility and emotions that are more pleasant and easier to digest. Gojo may be boisterous and bratty and obnoxious, but he isn't trying to 'trick' anyone into thinking he's better than he really is, and this paints a more sincere, believable picture to the audience.

On the other hand, Geto's emotions, partly due to his more solemn demeanour, are often toned down or consciously concealed. For instance, when Riko manages to strike a nerve in him, his response is to immediately plaster on mawkish 'customer service' smile to not give away his annoyance. This scene is especially interesting to me because of how Amanai's reaction gives voice to the audience's concerns. Referring to Suguru, she says, 'You look like a liar!' -- and by doing so calls him out on his tendency to mask negative emotions. Intuitively, she can still read his feelings in his body language, in the delay in his expression rearranging itself into a smile, and so can the viewer. We know he's annoyed, and his words about having no intention to harm Riko don't exactly align with how he behaves (even if in a playful manner) a moment after saying them. It creates a tangible contradiction between what he says his intentions are and what his actions speak of, between the appearances and what lies behind them. And this contradiction raises suspicion, in a way that if somebody's making an effort to hide something, then there must be something to hide.

In retrospect this doubt might seem reinforced and justified. I see how it's easy to fall into thinking that Geto, having become a criminal who's done unspeakably cruel things and who backs up his delusional ideals with bigoted reasoning, should've been hiding darker parts of himself behind all those fake smiles and talks about righteousness. But pinning the blame on Geto alone by claiming that he had violent tendencies to begin with is essentially disregarding systematic issues that the story strives so much to convey to the audience. Holding innate individual qualities accountable for the catastrophe is basically the sort of thinking that the higher-ups display, whose main strategy for dealing with problems is public scapegoating and disposing of every single threat to the current order by giving out one death sentence after the other. I don't think we as the viewers are supposed to reach the conclusion that Suguru is at fault for what happened, which is not to say he's faultless, nonetheless the narrative goes to great lengths to make us sympathize with him, not the other way around.

Now, there's really a handful of ways in which Geto's character seems to contradict himself. He shares overspilling empathy for the people around him, that is his character's core trait, but that very empathy spells out his downfall when it degrades into resentment and hate. He displays a largely considerate and sympathetic demeanour, but he's first introduced to the audience as someone who backhandedly bad-mouths Utahime for being weak. He's one half of the strongest duo, but whereas Gojo is a natural-born genius, Geto evidently struggles with his powers. His entire career as a curse user is based on the mentality which justifies the means to an end, but reaching the end goal is impossible for him as he is, Geto himself as much as admits to it during his last conversation with Satoru. He sets on his wild-goose chase for power, but ends up stagnating to the point where his use of Curse Manipulation in the Hidden Inventory Arc is much more inventive and creative than in Jujutsu Kaisen 0. The list goes on, but you got the gist.

To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in a curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality.

I believe this to be such a poignant phrase when it comes to Geto's characterization because of how well, in my view, it encapsulates the conflict of his character -- or, if you will, the contradiction of it. It succinctly expresses his outlook on things, where he views the world how it's ideally supposed to be rather than how it realistically is. I've actually somewhat already elaborated on this in my very first rambling on here:

To me, Geto seems to be a type of person who needs something to guide him, some clear-cut ideal to make it possible for him to navigate through his life. He is pedantic in that sense: the sharp outlines of his views define his surroundings, the very way he looks at things and perceives them. He needs everything to fall precisely in line with his own set of ideals, which seems to be quite verified and well-adjusted within his mind, like a strict and refined concept he constructed for himself, like a routine he's used to following out of pure principal. His own belief system being so defined, it's that which makes him indulge in excessive discourse on the subject of morality and responsibility, like he's patiently laying out the basics in front of a disobedient child to help them wrap their mind around some fundamental truth that is so obvious and natural for him.

In a way, Geto concealing his negative emotions is not a false front put up against scrutinizing looks that could reveal his 'true nature'. Quite the opposite, I think it speaks more of his well-meaning intentions. When trying to change the way things are, start at yourself, and I guess this is the principle Geto's trying to apply here. By following through his own ideal, Geto does his best to be an upright person he believes himself obliged to be, whether that means forcing himself to absorb curses or putting on a customary smile. It might be juvenile and wishful thinking on his part, probably akin to 'fake it till you make it', but it's important to keep in mind that at that time he was still but a teenager. Moreover, he was put on par with somebody as praised within jujutsu society as Gojo, he must've felt on top of the world, too entranced by their warm spring of youth to care too much about the occasional slips. With Satoru by his side, I imagine Geto could afford to cut some slack and participate in the mischief. Later we see post-defection Geto drop his frivolous facade only when he's entirely alone -- another hint at how Gojo was really the only person Suguru allowed himself to confide in, that is untill the SPVI put uncrossable distance between them.

While I do say that Geto's intentions are well-meaning, the way he positions himself actually reveals some quite problematic aspects of his mindset. Namely, his attitude towards non-sorcerers, whom he clearly sets into a different category from himself and his fellow sorcerers. Regular people lack crucial understanding, they are weak because they are helpless, therefore they have to be shielded from the source of harm. This is a largely patronizing concept of empathy, since it's based on the notion that the 'weak' are inherently inferior to Geto himself and others involved in jujutsu society. It's interesting how it's reflected in Geto's insistence on the necessity of curtains. The use of curtains furthers the extent of non-sorcerers' ignorance, they never learn how to stay out of harm's way as they are deprived even of as much as their perception of the existing danger. It reminds me of how a parent would brush a child's concerns aside because they're too young and naive and do not need to be aware of adult life's hardships. Just like Geto's paternalistic outlook, it does not come from malice or negligence, it's just an attempt to keep someone less experienced and skilled safe. Nonetheless it's harmful as it puts that person in a position which denies them agency.

In my view, Suguru's fake smiles are an extension of his acute sense of responsibility. In front of those over whom he assumes responsibility, he presents himself as calm, collected and dependable as if it's supposed to reassure them. It's his job to protect them and make them feel safe, so there's no need showing them his own struggle. Even if such thinking is condescending, it's not in any way malicious. Geto's entire character arc would be simply non-existent if he wasn't completely genuine in his sentiments.

So why do I talk about Geto's insecurities when first introducing the topic of this post? Well, I'm about to take a deep dive into the field of speculation and theories and finally get to the point why I'm writing all this in the first place (took me long enough, lmao). There's also a reason why I brought up Gojo's upbringing when talking about his personality and how it contrasts Geto's. You see, like Satoru's way of dealing with his emotions can be linked to his childhood experience, Suguru's behaviour might also give us some clues about the circumstances he grew up in.

The more I look into it, the more convinced I become that Geto was in one way or another exposed to emotional trauma in his childhood. Remember when I mentioned inadequate emotional responses? While being one, smiling in reaction to stress may act as a defense mechanism of sorts, shielding the person from the chronic nature of the unpleasant experience. It also may serve as a way to avoid alienation by others who are not privy to the source of your distress or are not comfortable with it. Affiliative smiles are motivated by social factors, it's a tool used to create and maintain social connections. Human beings are hardwired to connect with others, feeling alienated by the people around us causes us great pain.

The thing us, we must assume that Geto is relatively new to the jujutsu world in the flashback arc. Given his non-sorcerer background, chances are he was the only one in his immediate surroundings with the ability to see and exterminate curses. There couldn't have been a way for him to confide in someone with his concerns and fears born from interacting with something only he could see. So I assume that eventually that resulted in Suguru developing an unhealthy habit of masking his emotions before the ones he cared about. And as over time he grew more aware of his abilities and got a grasp on how his CT works, I imagine Geto committed to exorcising curses in order to protect ordinary people from them -- all by himself. This, in turn, must have solidified that conception in Suguru's head which ultimately othered him from the people around him and put them in a position inferior to him since they were the ones depending on him and his powers.

As Geto should've mostly kept to himself, I also see how he might have grown heavily reliant on his analytical mind. Overthinking is a habit developed early on in life as a way to wade through feeling uncertain or unsafe. It's an attempt to make sense of confusing reality by applying an analytical lense to it and compartmentalizing it into neat, easily understandable categories. And also a way to regain sense of self when you find yourself in a situation you otherwhise have little to no control over. And while over-analyzing can create a sense of security, it may also interfere with a person's emotional responses. I guess it's something that could be applied to Geto, too, because for such a self-reflective character he always struck me as someone with oddly little regard of his own feelings.

As a side note, I like how Geto's tendency to over-analyze things is shown in that one scene when Yaga's briefing him and Gojo on the upcoming mission. Suguru's clearly presented as someone who's very mindful of how the world around him works. Understanding helps him assign meaning to different aspects of life, and he relies upon it heavily. Also, as someone who's been uprooted from his former society and introduced instead to an entirely different world, I guess it's important for Geto to fit in. Him being highly knowledgeable about such essential details is, in my view, indicative of such effort on his part. Whereas Satoru simply does not care about such details, the reality makes sense to him as it is as he was born perfectly fit into it.

Last but not least, Geto's infamously guilty of a dichotomous, or black-and-white, outlook on things. This is the all-or-nothing mentality that leaves little to no room for nuance and does not allow two opposite statements to be true at once. It's a common cognitive distortion that manifests immature thought; a rigid mindset more often than not bordering on extreme. Meanwhile the very foundation of Geto's downfall is the inability to adapt to the complicated reality which doesn't align perfectly with his idealistic vision. He ultimately failed to wrap his head around the world with grey areas, his black-and-white thinking thinking prevented him from doing so.

The development of such maladaptive personality traits has been repeatedly linked to the effects of childhood trauma. If the environment which a person grew up in was traumatic and chaotic, black-and-white thinking might have given them a sense of control through rationalization. That's why a mentality which doesn't allow for nuance and doesn't reflect life in its intricate complexity comes off as childishly simplistic. Seeing the world in all-or-nothing terms in some way means reverting to your inner child. And this is actually something that Shoko accuses Geto of during their brief conversation in Shinjuku. In his thinking Geto doesn't grow past his traumatic experience, whether it was his parents actively abusing his abilities for their own gain or the ache of being alienated at such an early age.

If the nature of Geto's relationship with his parents was abusive, it would also explain his altruism. Suguru goes out of his way to express his concern for well-being of those around him, and he does genuinely care, but all the while it could be a way for him to tend to his own unsatisfied needs by helping others. He seems to be highly attuned to others through his empathy, but also somewhat has trouble advocating for himself, resulting in harmful patterns of self-sacrifice or self-neglect.

It's true, there is a lot of contradictions housed within Geto's character, which are evident in his mindset and his actions. But I don't believe this to be due to sloppy writing, on contrary -- it's the kind of writing that speaks through detail and nuance and invites the reader to ponder why is this or that character the way they are.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk analysis #jjk meta #geto suguru #gojo satoru #might as well tag him #i'm so sorry it's way too long for something so irrelevent considering all the recent events #and it probably needs proper structuring #i guess i'll edit it some time eventually #maybe

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chayannesegg · 3 months

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honestly I think it’s kinda interesting how phil’s relationships with wilbur, tallulah, chayanne & tubbo are all reflecting back into his view of sunny tbh. like he has such complex delicate interwoven dynamics with all of them and it all gets thrown onto sunny, this poor kid who he loves in theory, but in practice is a stranger to him.

like wilbur left tallulah in phil’s care and didn’t come back. even now way after he was initially supposed to, wilbur hasn’t returned (that one day aside). and phil, who had already taken on a big commitment watching tallulah, has been left permanently with two eggs in his sole care. and even though he loves tallulah and wil, and won’t want them out of his life, this is a stress for him. it’s a big undertaking for anyone, to care for two kids alone, but especially since tallulah required a lot of changes in his life.

for better or worse, in many ways phil sees chayanne as an extension of himself. they’re similar in a lot of ways, and often on the same page, and it means phil often struggles to catch up when chayanne’s emotions aren’t on the same page as him. we’ve seen this week, phil having such a hard time understanding the depth and breadth of chayanne’s grief. when he catches on, he usually does a good job empathising and talking it through, but when he doesn’t, he really doesn’t and it can be hard to watch.

the same is NOT true for tallulah. he has, through hard work and practice, learnt how to identify her emotions. he had to. she needed it. she would have been miserable otherwise. she desperately needed asked for the emotional care and birthdays and consideration that chayanne would never ask for. and he’s good at it—tracking her moods, knowing what upsets her & what she cares about in a way that doesn’t come as naturally with chayanne (or sunny or tubbo or anyone else really expect maybe wilbur). but that took A LOT of time and effort, months of work, and I do think he’s a bit wary of the idea of having to do that again, even when it comes to people he loves like chayanne (or god forbid tubbo).

now tubbo is not wil. tubbo is not phil's son. but he’s still not dissimilar to wil in phil’s mind. whatever the backstory is, phil introduces tubbo to tallulah as an old friend of him and wil’s. he makes tubbo his kids’ godfather. he calls tubbo his boy. he looks out for him. but past those first few weeks, their relationship doesn’t progress. they mean a lot to each other bc of their pasts, but they don’t put any work into upkeeping their relationship and phil in particular doesn’t reflect at all on what how that changes their dynamic. and it does change it—this is clear in purgatory, with phil having zero trust in tubbo to protect chayanne and tallulah, and after, with tubbo endlessly poking at phil’s sore spots trying to illicit a reaction he’ll never receive.

it's also clear in the way phil has no understanding of what’s going on with tubbo. if he’s struggling to grasp chay’s emotions, he’s not even touching what’s going on in tubbo’s head. tubbo’s death makes no sense to him. it’s sudden. it’s random. it’s illogical. it’s stupid. he wasn’t joking about having two lives? he still took a death bet with richas? he’s not come back? he can’t come back? he’s left phil with distraught kids for no reason with no warning. he doesn’t see the erratic suicidal behaviour, the unending depression, the desperation to be loved. he doesn’t want to see it. he doesn’t want something to be wrong with tubbo, but he also doesn’t even know how to see what’s wrong. he’s annoyed he’s having to deal with it and he desperately desperately wants to believe this is all happening for no reason.

bc at the forefront of phil’s mind is still his love for tubbo. of course, phil would drop everything to help tubbo (if he could recognize something was wrong). of course, he would care for sunny as his own. of course, he would make the same sacrifices he’s made for wil. and he assumes he’ll have to. he thought that sunny would now be under his care. that he’d have to figure out the logistics of a third egg to care for. with wilbur, phil was the only person who could ever have taken care of tallulah. the only person he trusted, the only person who knew tallulah enough. now this isn’t true for tubbo. it’s a genuinely illogical assumption for phil to make: three eggs would be a genuine burden on him; they've never spoken about it; there’s a long list of people who would tubbo expects for sunny before; and he doesn’t even know sunny well enough to name these people for her as comfort.

but still in the moment, alone with tubbo’s eggs and dealing with everything he left behind, phil can only think that the exact same thing that happened before will happen: he alone will be left to care for another scared hurt kid of someone he loves.

and here we come to sunny. a kid whose dad he loves. a kid whose dad he doesn’t understand. a kid whose dad is suddenly gone like his son is gone. a kid who would need him like his daughter needs him. a kid who his son needs to protect. a kid he cares for. a kid he can’t afford to care for, a kid he wasn’t expecting to care for, a kid he doesn’t know how to care for, a kid he would care for if he needed to, a kid he doesn’t know why he’s been left to care for. a kid who is somehow a reflection of all these people he loves but not someone he knows at all.

idk i think this tension comes out in the a lot of the comments phil makes of and to sunny. he doesn't know them well enough to distinguish them from his relationships with other people. and as long as no one challenges him on that, we'll continue to hear these misplaced comments from him, that come across so insensitively, even as he tries his best to genuinely help them and their dad.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp sunny #suicide #philza neg #qphil neg #i guess i'll tag out of an abundance of caution even if i don't intend this analysis meanly #that said he is absolutely being unfair to sunny and hurting her bc of this and he doesn't even realize #and won't realize unless someone else talks to him about it #lest sunny just snap at him some day which i do think is what we're currently headed to #fun fact: i intended to do more analysis of his actual comments but it got too long so instead you just get this :)#even tho i think this covers too much in too little time and could reference more canon events lmao #but it's already a behemoth #oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also nothing is ever going to justify the 'maybe i won't look for your dad as hard' comment fuck him fr for that #cw wilbur soot #won't delete this but warning he's mentioned here

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averlym · 8 months

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whshdfhfjf.,,,

#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur #look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly #because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to #ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts #anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately #a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle #lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix #fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material #mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent #a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort #and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one #here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try #like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still #they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1 #of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but #thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where #you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the #competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even #even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's #'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h #her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll #eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's #it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe #adamandi

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bonetrousledbones · 6 months

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an interesting way to do things is to never ever come up with names for fics until the very second you are actively posting them. the name of the wip i'm working on currently is "something's wrong with this guy" and the one before it was named "HEHEHEHE"

#trousled rambles #and rest assured neither of those titles actually fit the tones very well #well i guess Something's Wrong With This Guy technically fits but its a dogshit title lmao #the hehehehe one became Damn Him so yeah it changed a little bit #im trying to get better at putting more actual posts here instead of just dumping em all on my secret blog for no reason lol #maybe at some point i'll post one of the snippets from my current wip here as well .... who knows #anyway here is my writing advice: deal with the title first thing by forgetting about it until you're done writing out all the tags #as long as you can identify which wip it is all will be well forever #especially if you keep all your wips in the same google doc <3

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sysig · 2 months

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Let’s put it all on the line, see who’s victorious (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #IRL vent stuff in the tags be warned #I've mentioned offhand that Kaiein is inspired by various sources but overall mostly on one person #And I've been very low contact with that person for years now - but I'm going to meet with them in the near future #I'm nervous as you can imagine haha #But I'd like it infinitely more to have to change Kaiein than to have him reinforced so I'm trying to feel hopeful as well #Either way I'm prepared. Either I get to do some rewriting or I have a very well-worn established outlet #Haha - it's a bit funny actually since there's no one-to-one translation but there is a kind of asymmetrical equivalence going on here #I pretty much never include my family in my sonas' stories - which is double funny since I love being an older sibling so much lol #That aspect rarely makes it into my sonas! I guess I feel like it's not my place to make characters for my loved ones lol #But IRL they're my support system <3 I'm in good hands and I trust them to have my back with what I need to face #And Charm has her wings! The Staff! She has something to rely on that make her more capable and confident!#It's not The Same Thing but it's how it feels ♥ The power of love and friendship!! It makes me stronger!!#And that's what makes the difference between Charm as a villain and a Hero :)#I used her TVAU outfit here - or one of the temps anyway :P - but honestly this is probably how S2 would go down hehe <3 #You're no match for Charm when she knows she's loved!! She'll fight you to full defeat!#I wonder how he'd react #Guess I'll find out real soon #Wish me luck

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platoniccereal · 1 year

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ok, i don't know why i just glossed over this part earlier.

there are some inconsistencies in what the iron bull says about his background, here and there, e.g. in what bull says was his reason to reach out to the inquisition (krem says it was bull who reached out VS bull says it was krem while mimicking him VS bull says it was on his superiors' orders), but another detail i noticed is what he says about his merry trip into the re-educators' establishment.

bull says that one day he basically woke up and found himself unfit for his role:

one day i woke up and couldn't think of a damned reason to keep doing my job. turned myself in to the reeducators.

but what's told us as well is that he snapped and went on the killing spree, and then people were sent for him, and that's when he declared himself unfit:

which sent him in a berserk state. when his surviving soldiers later came back for him with reinforcements, they found him unmoving, covered in wounds and surrounded by the butchered corpses of the tal-vashoth warriors. he declared himself unfit for duty and too dangerous to be around civilians, submitting himself to the ben-hassrath re-educators.

which is not the “woke up with the realization” situation at all, not a boulder suddenly crushing one's shoulders, but a snapping moment.

now, i don't think bull lies. these may as well be parts of the same true story. he did wake up in that state some day, maybe even weeks prior to his breakdown. he could just ignore that, figures anyone on that island learns to ignore a thing or two. maybe it even scared him shitless, but he kept going as he always did, because one of his main traits is incredible stubbornness. maybe he said to himself, that it's alright, actually.

and then he snaps, kills people and turns himself in to the re-educators. because he understands that the matter is way more serious, and he's reached the end point.

for me there were some things that fell into place. nothing that wasn't said directly in the canon, just got some things consistency-wise, nice logical structure.

after bull becomes tal-vashoth he keeps talking about losing control due to straying away from the path of the qun. but it isn't just something he's been indoctrinated to, or what he deduced after fighting tal-vashoth. this isn't an idea bull is scared of because he’s just going through new experience.

that's something that actually happened to him, or at least he believes it did. he strayed away from his path, ignored it, kept fighting, and then lost control. it's suddenly not just a cautionary tale.

another thing is that hissrad kept fighting for 8 years because he believed he could change something, quoting gatt: “he thinks that if he does the right thing, then everything will work. he's been in seheron for ten years trying to make everything work.” certainly, he fought to make civilians' lives better. to protect and help. hissrad stopped when he couldn't see the end goal anymore. not just because he grew tired, or due to his grief, or because of horror he felt after the attack on the school. i'm pretty sure he would've kept fighting if he still had a goal, but this absence of aim was exactly a deal breaker.

even if one doesn't see worth in their own work, to which every part of the qun's common body strives, one can always hide in that hope for a change from their doubts. i can only imagine how many times bull and warriors on seheron would turn to “eventually the tides wear away the mountain”. especially when their own grief is so repetitive they need the goal so they won't break the cycle.

so, that's exactly what bull is cut off from when he becomes tal-vashoth. it would be easier for him to become disappointed in the ideology, but bull isn't that type of tal-vashoth.

iron bull: you mean getting exiled from my people and declared tal-vashoth? yeah, i should make a cake.

sera: you like drinking and singing and breaking beds. you’d already left.

from the outsider's perspective nothing changed in his life, save he got cut off of his own people. every companion pretty much gets it, some are happy for bull, some are sorry.

but it changes drastically for bull. he had an aim before, whether it was that he was making the world a better place from the qun's perspective, or that he wanted to prove himself to superiors and come back.

bull is a person used to devote himself, with great power and loyalty, and after he's declared tal-vashoth, he doesn't have a place to apply that might. maybe bull could find some peace in helping the inquisition with corypheus.

but after that..? in my case, the inquisitor lavellan gets it, he also had to invent the goal of helping elves and mages just to keep going, but the iron bull isn't quite invested in thedosian political games or ideologies for this trick to work.

chargers are living their best lives and doing their job well, but this hedonistic way of life is opposed to the qun's teachings. i guess earlier bull could make himself believe that even these little silly deeds helped the bigger picture somehow, this desire to help the whole society through every action being something the qun taught him. tal-vashoth bull is cut off from this bigger picture. this slot in his mind is empty.

this might be the biggest struggle for bull. he can keep moving forward, he's good at it, but that might be an aimless path for him.

#honestly it's all just because of cut my lip by top #because this i'll keep on trying might as well if you decide all is well fits his relationships with the qun so nicely #and if he can come to terms with the fact that he's no wild beast #this aimlessness might take longer time to sort out #lavellan suggests bull should help kittens get off trees and i honestly think that might be smth that helps him #like bull did with chargers wandering the continent and helping and saving his guys and giving them place to belong to #because he knows how important it is so maybe that might be his new purpose #*sighs* babygirl #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #iron bull #iron bull x inquisitor #i guess? do i need to tag it?#my post

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master-k0hga · 2 months

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| Don't talk about my wife like that-

Yeah so the kick is coming back which I REALLY did NOT want happening rn, especially when (even though it'll probably be all done and sorted by then) I'm trying to edit and touch up all OCs refs and other art related to my OCs I've already posted to here-

And then this bitch comes running back like an ex who doesn't realize it's over... But I guess I'm getting my fill of Kohga with a few and also another doodle/drawing of them here so I should be ok getting back with re-doing said other OCs who need re-designs and stuff... But then even when I HAVE re-drawn all of them; Lore, extras, plots and so on will then need to be handled and... Hhhhggg.... I hate it.

Also stiff neck been attacking me for a couple days now and it won't go away,,,,, I hate it

..... Another art dump coming soon I guess...

. Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #Kohga and his clappable cheeks....#I love him he's so pretty- We don't even have a canon design for his face yet I'd call him the most #Beautiful thing to our wedding... Cuz he is and I love him so much.... Tags for him are kinda dead #And with unrelated shit now which sucks so like... Guess it's just me and my WIFE now... My beautiful. Ridiculous hilarious wife and his-#Jgngjgjjj #Yeah I'll tag these... I guess.. Might as well. Fan art doesn't get any traction either so like it's pointless people won't see 'em #Not even my followers. Blog is just a personal at this point so like.... I give up with people. I actually deleted my Discord!#It was pointless. I have literally no friends. Discord has bs features and everything is just pay to fucking customise your layout #AI bs I remember seeing as well and selling personally data for profit #Like fr fuck every single website for being complicits to every bad thing in the world. We're the fucking product!!#.... Hate this shit hope the workd dies it's lived for too long #..... anyways...#Kohga #Yiga clan #... Ok that's it. No more tags

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kirbyddd · 12 days

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one thing that's just one of my weird little personal wishes, i really wish gandalf used more of his Hobbit style alchemical "magic" in LoTR, he really only uses it for fireworks at the very beginning then he mainly just uses his ring and divine authority

#which it makes sense thematically that he doesn't wield much of his true divine power during the Hobbit but does during LotR #because it's not just a magical “power” to be used.. it's divine autonomy that only has potency in his realm of authority #which his only authority in the mundane realm is as a single man #but in LoTR he is granted high authority over the non-native spirits of middle earth. able to strip saruman of his own and turn wraiths #and even directly contest sauron's influence over the ringbearer granting frodo a moment of free will on amon hen #but in the Hobbit when dealing with goblins and dragons all he can do is wield alchemical tricks accented by his ring's command over flame #thought i expect he commanded far greater power against the necromancer in dol guldur. particularly when following saruman's command #who did already have White authority #standing tall in the spiritual realm.. naught but an old man in the mundane realm. it lends a deeper layer to the imagery of him sitting #alongside aragorn and glorfindel at elrond's banquet... appearing even more kingly to frodo's eyes than the elfstone himself.#because at that table it was the spiritual form that was seated with highest majesty.. rather than worldly influence #though aragorn possessed a spiritual nature approaching even that of elves.. he still appeared a prince next to elders of the First Age #and beyond the First Age even to the timeless dawn of creation itself #even shrouded in Grey.. gandalf dwarfed him #LoTR is a monolith. what a truly rich tapestry of life #tolkien you have far surpassed the anglo saxon chronicler poets you so revered... and woven something that will endure even longer #rest well #oh yeah i was gonna write something about why he didnt use his ring much in the Hobbit too but that'll max out tags #oh yeah i was gonna say something about why he didnt use his ring much in the hobbit but i guess i said enough #I'll max out tags

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tiredassmage · 10 months

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A Visual Guide Bullshit Reference to Tyr

& the growing number of fuckin' aus i started and @hyrohkaah is helping me grow like we started a fuckin'. community garden or something.

get you a man that can do both or w/e i guess

#imperial agent. sis agent/smuggler. bounty hunter. sith lord. damn bro. u busy #there is and there isn't context okay #but i am nothing if not my shitposts #swtor text posts #ch: tyr #idr if i organized tags for all this shit goddamn #vs: king and lionheart [smuggler!tyr]#vs: my mind is a place i can't escape your ghost [bh!tyr]#vs: no stranger would it be [sith!tyr]#fuck it we ball we're making the tags now i guess #tyrlore. if you will. across the tyrverse ksnflksdnflksdf i'll see myself out #yea remember how i said i'd never do a sith au well i guess we're not gonna believe this #anyway i love text posts i love tyr i love to put him thru the horrors so here u go centralized shitpost edition #that's the brand baybeeee #vs: kiss with a fist / self control in locker room showers [trooper!tyr]

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sisterdivinium · 11 months

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I always find it amusing how some people seem to be earnestly shocked by how not every viewer falls in love with Ava from the get go or how some don't really like her at all.

Disliking a main character is not a moral flaw, nor is it a novelty in the history of humans reacting to stories. There are no rules pertaining to how an audience must be fond of a protagonist. Different people like different things, as the saying goes, and, regardless of whether the title of the show is "goofy" or not (it was Forbes' Paul Tassi that deemed it so, if memory serves right), some of us were reeled in by it and expected what it says on the tin rather than following a reluctant hero for a handful of episodes while she avoids precisely that same narrative we might have initially signed up for.

It's both a matter of expectations and values; I've said somewhere before that JC's gang is unbearable to me also because I find no common ground with characters who embody a lifestyle I have seen up close and strongly rejected. They remind me of people I loathed and who certainly loathed me back. Subjective? Entirely, even though I also object to them as characters given how mind-numbingly dull and superficial they appear to me, as they are presented in the show (flat characters instead of round, if you want to E.M. Forster it, but so flat, so thin, that they might be ripped apart any moment). JC's speech on institutions is all pretty and commendable, but it sounds empty when the big middle finger he and his companions are giving to a higher social class is... The remarkable "cause" of crashing at their places so kids can get high on drugs in raves around Europe, apparently. His professed idealism doesn't really go beyond words -- and it's hard to sympathise with that.

Of course anyone could say the OCS also boasts of void discourses, ultimately meaningless words that deform reality, obscure it, manipulate it (the halo bearer, the gift, worth, God, grace, faith...) and they would be justified in their protestation seeing as the church's words are proven to be hollow as the story progresses. I won't argue with you there.

Yet this is thematically relevant considering the show's title. That is what I had hoped to see when I first hit play on the initial episode some time in 2021 (I'm neither of the "original" fans who watched WN as soon as it came out nor of the post-s2 crowd). So when Ava momentarily chooses that other lot, that other nucleus over this one, it almost led me to choose another show (and I have friends who did, despite my guarantees that it would pick up the pace quickly enough).

Now, none of this is meant to point fingers or judge people who loved Ava from the start or even those who might have a soft spot for JC's gang. The only thing this little text aims to accomplish is to explain how we all watch the same thing but wearing different pairs of lenses -- and that is a quality rather than a disadvantage. It means Warrior Nun can speak to all sorts of different people with different interests, values and sympathies, and it once more demonstrates how foolish Netflix's decision to cancel a show with so much potential reach was.

And, if you must know, I came round on Ava later on thanks to the powerhouse that is Alba Baptista's portrayal of her, allied with the clever writing I was treated to in season two.

If the power to change a viewer's opinion and feelings over a character she had disliked doesn't speak to the sheer talent of the people involved in a project, on and off-screen, I really do not know what else could serve as a higher compliment to everyone that brought it to life.

#do i want to tag this?#silly blabbering #oh and this isn't a reply to anyone in particular. i wrote this in my physical journal weeks ago and thought i'd type it out #maybe other people feel it resonates with them #oh well here goes nothing. i'm not being unreasonable i don't think. so i don't expect unreasonable responses #warrior nun #before you go telling me that forster sees the use in flat characters well so do i #but i'll quote him: a serious or tragic flat character is apt to be a bore #wasn't it mary who said a sob story would only take you so far...? well then.#and to be fair my issue with s1 isn't pacing. i love obscure european cinema and silences and all of that #whatever critique i have really has to do with the time spent on uninteresting characters #it's not about how ava runs away but /to whom/. her running off to jillian so as to be “scienced” is pretty damn cool #meta fandom talk i guess

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breadedsinner · 2 years

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Kirkwall Crew after the Finding Nathaniel quest, Anders is going on about how they were in the Wardens together and he’s the one who made Nathaniel realize he was into men, too.

Sebastian listening to this whole story, knowing he dated Nathaniel like a decade ago, and HE was the one who made him realize he liked men.

#Dragon Age #Sebastian Vael #Dragon Age II #Fuck it I'll tag it #This is headcanon but like MAN #It's in World of Thedas Nathaniel was in the Vael estate or whatever #You cannot fucking tell me #If I can try to make any sense of the timeline #Maybe this happened months before Seb was sent to the Chantry #Maybe he KNEW it was going to happen so he's like welp better make one more mistake one last hurrah #It'll really piss off that Randolph guy what an asshole #And then he and Nate actually got along really well and connected #Well I guess Seb got a liking for Fereldens wink wink #Sorry RODOLPHE #Maybe Seb calls him Randolph to piss him off lmao

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malewifehenrycooldown · 1 year

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a small post (read: long) of me rambling about the meta implications (kind of???) of Henry + THAT ret-con/reveal in NMH3 in episode: Flesh and Blood. (NMH3 spoilers!!! read at your own risk!!)

okay one thing about Henry that genuinely give me emotional pain is that fact that as a child (like. VERY YOUNG) he tried to save his siblings (Jeane and Travis) from their father who was a serial killer and decided to go on the run. It's not clear if their father was a serial killer in the literal sense, or that he was also an assassin too (it's not really made clear or elaborated on).

The worst part is that they got caught, and Henry, being the older brother who tried to protect his siblings took the fall for them. He had his memory completely wiped, and was taken in by the Cooldown family in Ireland and was basically raised as their own son. sure that sounds nice, until you realise that there's a high possibility that his serial killer father paid off the Cooldown family to raise Henry as their own and to keep his real heritage a secret. I'm not sure how Henry went down the path of becoming an assassin, but I have a funny feeling the entire Cooldown family are reputable assassins themselves (and have been for generations). Which if that's the case, has a lot of meta implications, that absolutely need to be addressed.

This also goes along with some previous posts I've made about NMH1. That some of the enemy characters have the same purple beam katanas and/or have the same ability as Henry (which is to create spheres of energy and use them to attack your opponent). This could be the result of people modelling their attack/style after Henry who has made a name for himself in the world of assassins OR, that Henry is being put into a position where he has to train other assassins, and thus have used Henry's training as a spring board for them to become legitimate assassins. Whether Henry is doing this willingly or unwillingly, is unknown, although I place my money on the 'Henry is being told to train a league of assassins with (several) guns pointed at his head'

Honestly, knowing that Henry tried to save Jeane and Travis makes the fight with him in NMH3 more heartbreaking, because Travis at this point has Killed Jeane (their sister) - because she was the No. 1 assassin in NMH1. Now, Travis is forced to kill the person that has saved his life before and was punished for trying to protect his siblings. Do you know how deeply fucked up that is??? completely forget Henry's incoherent ramblings, and focus on the fact that the narrative of No More Heroes is about how the cycle of violence, revenge destroys people - and in most cases that cycle is perpetuated not just by the system but also is unfortunately re-enforced by family history and inter-generational trauma.

I'm not saying I want another story of NMH, but I do want a version of NMH where Travis has an epiphany and realises that his entire family is stuck in a cycle of violence and destruction. And decides to tear down the system and end it - He even says in NMH2 that he wants to tear down the United Association of Assassins, tear down the SYSTEM that makes up the organisation that's in the pocket of Jasper Batt Jr.

And as clumsy as NMH2 is with it's ludo-narrative dissonance - that line has stuck with me, especially with the fight with Alice Twilight and Holly Summers in mind (which have HEAVILY impacted Travis as a person). I want a story of Travis Touchdown, that looks back on his fight with his sister Jeane, and laments that he could have spared her (doing so is against UAA rules) - but realises that he can rectify that mistake by saving Henry from a system that is an ouroboros.

Travis made the decision to become an assassin - and he just so happened to become THE crownless king in the process. But Henry did not have that luxury, let alone a choice (assuming the Cooldown family is made of assassin), and so maybe perhaps Travis can repay the favor of saving his only other blood relative from a system that destructive and throws out tools that they think aren't of use anymore.

TL;DR: the Touchdown-Cooldown Siblings deserved better and definitely need LOTS of therapy to heal from the inter-generational trauma they have.

#anyways i hope henry killed main patriarchal heads of the cooldown family <3 #or is planning to with his little cult of emerald knights. because i'd be MORE THAN HAPPY TO JOIN HIM #i know this series is not meant to be taken seriously but sometimes you need to dig deep and analyze aspects that are worth #talking about #suda made this series yet there's still so little we know about the series from face value and supplementary material #for that reason. i'm going to play with it as if it was an open sandbox because it means so much to me #tbh this kinda turned into a real incomprehensible rambling/rant. i'm sorry i have a lot of thoughts about NMH.#[r]: henry cooldown | we are finally cowboys #NMH3 spoilers #shallow rambles #nomoreposting #suda51posting #abuse mention tw #inform to tag #this went from me talking about henry - to talking about how i want travis to tear down the system that crushed and used his siblings #and threw them away like old rusted tools #hmmmm sounds like a good pitch for nmh4.....#WELL. GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO WRITE NMH4 myself then / lighthearted jokes

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lestatlioncunt · 2 years

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i was tagged by @indorilnerevarine and @denerims to take this quiz and by @florbelles @risingsh0t @arklay to do this quiz too for some of my ocs so i practically decided to put both together into a single post. thank you so much to everyone!! <3

tagging: feeling a little self conscious of tagging people so whoever wants to do any of these two or both just go ahead and say i tagged you!!

— OCS AS GREEK GODS

HECATE

double, double toil and trouble. yeah you don't really get much facetime in the myths but you're literally the god of magic and dogs so stay winning. mysterious goth energy, does she really do complete dark rituals or is that just her vibe. no one knows and you're not telling

HERMES

you literally were born and then invented mischeif. like you were a newborn and you immidiately inbented theivery and then lying. go you. you are the living embodiment of chaotic neutral. Yes people are so annoyed by you sometimes, but you are so unbelievably charming that you get away with everything. who doesn't love a charming rogue

ARTEMIS

i mean this in the kindest way possible, you give off huge autistic lesbian vibes. oh you're living in the isolated wilderness? hmm. only with women? yes uh huh. if we're following myths as metaphors you have literal trans egg cracking energy so doubly good for you.

─────────────────────────

— OCS CORE

SILENT ADMISSIONIN

tarot, the fool is numbered 0 – the number of unlimited potential. as the protagonist, he is ever present and therefore needs no number as well as no introduction. the world revolves around you in ways that i can't begin to describe, though you'd shrug it off if i were to begin to explain. i need you to know that time is running out. if you want to get this done, you need to start now. sloth is your greatest enemy in this world, and you can only run so far from the opposition when you start with such a disadvantage. keep your head high, yeah? the kid you were is still in there somewhere. you need to show him that it was worth it.

CAUTERIZING RAGE

the house has burned around you, and you’re the only one left standing. is it gratifying to be the survivor? fear and anger are weapons in your capable hands, used only to serve your agenda of fighting back when deemed necessary. you're a powerful person, built from the ashes of your despair and your family's mistakes. with time, you'll bloom into someone softer, like the full blossoms that grow each spring and wither away with the leaves in fall. they won't disappear if you take your eyes off of them. you're enough.

ANIMAL INTUITION

loyalty is the saint you pray to. if you ever were stabbed in the back by your beloved, you'd probably apologize. to your enemies, you're fierce. to your allies, even fiercer. you cultivate a thick inner circle built on promises and devotion, fit only for the best of the best. it's impossible for most to even begin to dissect the type of person you are, owing to your unbreakable emotional walls and confusing philosophies. dream careers? body guard, movie star, unwitting pawn. don't let people get the best of that loyalty.

FRACTURED GLASS

no amount of orchestrated class is ever going to hide the fact that you’re doomed to be alone. you’re a puppet, you’re a weapon, but most importantly? you’re a fraud. your facade isn’t malicious, but that doesn’t change a thing. everything in your life is in your control now, and you chose to let yourself become stiff and distant. you’re guilty of everything you blame yourself for, and your misfortune is the fault of nobody but yourself. your selfish nature forges you into a man-made monster, so quick to blame and so desperate to escape consequence. i hope that you can become someone you’re proud of soon.

#tag games #in my scared to tag people sunday era jfkdf still tho really just say i tagged you and do any of these i'm sending a kiss to all my mutuals #now that i said that allow me to (screams cries sobs falls to the ground dies) i'm normal about all of these results #about the gods quiz: violante being hecate jfdk WE STAY WINNING MY BEAUTIFUL GOTH LADY. same goes for ruven he just fucks up everything and #i love that for him + selene being artemis i mean...her build is literally archer so when i got that result i was ohhh :0 still she's a #bi legend and the isolated wilderness fits for the first part of her story since then she just..well goes insane but in a funny way i guess #THE OC CORE TOOK ME TF OUT INSTEAD. vesper..the fool..the protagonist...looks directly into the camera: yea that's 77 starting point #when fenix's result went 'built from the ashes of your despair and your family's mistakes' yea i cried <33 and the 'you'll bloom into #someone softer' YEA MY MAN!! THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH!! CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT!! THIS QUIZ WAS #READING MY MIND I SWEAR. and to end this brainrot in shame as there are two h/otd ocs there..yea i won't talk too much but ari's downfall is #her own loyalty and vhanya's selfish nature.....SO TRUEEEEE. desperate to escape consequences? SO TRUEEEEEEEEEEE #i'll die now and let the Thoughts consume me #oc: violante #oc: ruven #oc: selene #oc: vesper #oc: fenix #oc: arianne #oc: visenyra

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