#so I’ll nap instead

[dandelions-and-white-wolves]

I don’t know how to feel. I’m so tired. Are these happy tears? Must go lay down and let you all know when I recover

#this is the first time since 2014 I’ve won #almost 10 years #I never thought I would write again #my brain was just too unwell #and here we are #50k in a month #was gonna go out to dinner to celebrate but we broke AF #so I’ll nap instead #nanowrimo #nano 2023 #nano23 #writing #personal

[skoulsons]

I got carried slightly away. Enjoy :)

Joel played with his hands, a nervous tick that Ellie always loved being able to calm down. “First real patrol. You ready?” He was towering over her, as he did, as they waited by the door for Tommy.

She raised her eyebrows at him with a smirk. She reached towards him and clasped his hands together, trying to hold them both in hers. “Are you? You look like you’re about to have a heart attack,” she questioned, rubbing a thumb over his slightly enveloped hands.

He felt like he was about to have a heart attack. Ever since they moved in, they were never apart. Now, Ellie was going outside the walls on patrol. She could fight infected. She could get thrown off her horse. They could run in to raiders. Anything could happen to her, and it terrified him that he wasn’t going to be the one next to her.

He smiled at her, appreciating the grounding pressure of her hands over his. He leaned forward and kissed her hairline, their hands still together. “I jus’ want you safe, ‘s’all.”

She smiled at the affection as she took her hands from his and wrapped them around his middle. He leaned into it, his left arm rubbing those all-too-familiar circles on her back and his right combing through her ponytail.

“I’ll have Tommy,” she said into his chest. “He’ll keep me safe.”

“He better-”

Joel drew in a breath to continue, but Tommy burst through the door right then, stopping cold in his tracks at the two hugging in front of him. He paused, giving a small smile to Joel.

Joel raised his voice slightly. “-‘Cause if he don’t, I might just beat his ass.”

Tommy’s eyes grew wide, Ellie giggling against Joel’s chest at the imagery of Tommy’s expression behind her.

Ellie gave Joel one more squeeze. He tilted his head to the side, trying to see her face. “You protect him too, got it?” He kissed her temple.

“Got it,” she said, nodding into his chest as she pulled away.

Ellie slung her pack over her shoulders and grabbed their rifle, standing beside Tommy as he shared a look with Joel.

“I mean it, Tom.”

“Oh, I know it.” He looked down at Ellie beside him, a goofy grin on her face. Tommy couldn’t help but smile back, “I’ll keep her safe.”

Ellie nodded to herself, trusting Tommy with such a task.

“Ready, kiddo?”

“Yes, sir.”

-/\-/\-

Tommy walked her home as Ellie talked incessantly about what they did together that day, joy evident in her voice as she recounted every room they walked through, infected they saw, and story Tommy told her along the way.

They stopped at the bottom of the stairs up to the house. “Good job today, kiddo. You did real good. Got you on for one next week as well, as long as my brother doesn’t threaten me on the behalf of your safety,” he half-joked.

She sighed, disapprovingly. “Just one?”

“I don’t need your old man stringing me up by my insides.

She laughed, “Yeah, me neither. Next week it is! Thanks, Tommy,” she said as she turned up the porch stairs and headed inside.

Joel was sitting at the kitchen table, book in hand and his reading glasses on. She always teased him about the reading glasses. She never saw him in them and it always felt like a treat. He looked… different. If she knew what a professor looked like, she thinks it would be similar to Joel wearing his glasses.

He glanced to his left as the door opened, his book falling to the table. “You’re home early? Somethin’ happen?”

“Nope,” she responded, unlacing her boots. “We cleared the motel and some surrounding buildings and then we headed home.” She sat the rifle against the wall and dropped her bag to the floor beside his.

He chuckled, “I’ve never had an early day with him. He must really like you.”

She laughed, walking over to him and peering over his shoulder. “What’re you reading?” She dropped her chin on to his shoulder.

“Nothin’ you’ll find interesting.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she agreed, her arms coming over his shoulders and crossing across his chest.

Daddy! Piggy back!

Alright, c’mere baby. One, two, three, jump! Sheesh, baby, loosen your arms up. You don’t gotta choke me.

Memories of town fairs, Sarah young enough to sit on Joel’s shoulders, her hands holding on to every blessed part of his face as he tried to see through the mix of her fingers. One particular memory of her on his shoulders sticks out to him. She was scared of the height, so Joel held both of her hands to keep her steady and leaning forward into him. She kept kicking her feet lightly against his chest and she’d wave their conjoined hands together at strangers walking by.

He remembered piggy back rides. Piggy back rides from the pool to the car when she claimed she was ‘too tired’ to make it all but ten yards. Piggy backs from the beach to the boardwalk, Sarah unable to get her feet through the hot sand. Piggy backs late at night; Joel exhausted from a day of work but willing to give her one, Sarah clinging to his neck and giggling as he ran laps around their house.

There was another memory.

What’s all this?

Nothin’ you’ll find interesting.

Ah, contracting paperwork?

Mmhm.

Well, I’m going to bed. Get some sleep tonight, dad. Please.

He turned to her, a small smile to try and compensate for the heavy bags under his eyes. “I will, baby.”

She smiled back, “You better. Don’t need you falling asleep at the wheel when you take me to school.”

His smile stayed, still watching her. “I won’t fall asleep, Sarah.”

“Then sleep tonight to make sure that doesn’t happen,” she quipped. He really needed sleep. She leaned in and grabbed his opposite shoulder, kissing his cheek. “Goodnight, dad.”

“Goodnight, baby. I love you.”

Joel exhaled, the memories rushing back to him like a sweeping current. He relaxed into the contact, his shoulders dropping as his head leaned back, hitting her shoulder. He closed his eyes. Goodnight, baby. I love you.

He brought his hand up from his book and held on to her left wrist, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the same spot his watch face sits.

“Alright,” she started, “I… am going to bed. Patrol wiped me out. Get some sleep too, old man.” She patted his chest a few times, pulling away from him as his hand gently followed her.

Oh.

He paused, taking his time. “I will, baby girl.”

“You better. We’re not on the road anymore, you’re allowed to sleep now. Don’t need you falling asleep when you’re making breakfast tomorrow.”

His breathing started to shake slightly. He exhaled, trying to ground himself. He forced a smile out as he turned to her. “I won’t… fall asleep making breakfast.”

She grinned back, “Can never be too sure.” She grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it as she walked behind him and headed towards the stairs. “Goodnight, Joel!”

“Goodnight, baby,” he whispered, Ellie already up the flight of stairs to hear the endearment.

He opened his mouth again, but no words came. No noise, no indication that he had anything to say; only he did, yet it stayed playing on repeat in his head, praying that he’ll say it again one day, and she’ll be the one it’s for.

I love you.

#if you guys want this on ao3 or smth I’ll put it there #cause issa bit longer #this isn’t necessarily where I thought this would end up #but it’s something so :D #hopefully it’s coherent cause I’m still v sleepy and I’ve been writing it instead of NAPPING!!!!! #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #sarah miller #the last of us #L fics

[napping-sapphic]

I took a nap with a girls(!!!!!) head on my tiddies earlier and thought of you.

Sending this energy your way I wish you all the boob naps your heart desires

I’m HONORED to be thought of at a time like that😤 congrats on the good nap!! May we all be blessed with tiddy naps soon🙏❤️

#asks #agsjfklhlh #now THIS is the kind of vital anecdote im here to hear about😤 #thank u anon🙏❤️ #that sounds like SUCH a stellar nap #i’d give you a lil emoji gift but frankly sounds like you already have everything you need😤 #so i’ll just wish you more and more good naps instead🫡❤️

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!

Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.

#turns out that I was not drawing from an unlimited spoon supply when I spent spoons so fast #and instead was overdrawing #because at 5:59 I thought ‘oh you know I’m a bit tired I should lay down’ #and then spent almost six hours in Nap Hell as I laid down too tired to get up and take my sleep meds #but also not really sleeping consistently. like dozing except I didn’t want to. #woke up ~11:50 and apparently sent some very misspelled messages to my friends #took sleep meds. and then passed out until morning. #so… I’ve learned something here. such as ‘even if you feel fine. you know you’re spending too many spoons. slow down.’ #I’m gonna try to go to bed early tonight too #and just. rest. bc I know Thursday is going to be a lot for me bc of my ASL class. #just gotta get these labs done first #the exhaustion is partially also my fault bc instead of going to bed after getting home from the airport #I did in fact go straight to DND and played until midnight because DND is Monday nights now. #but in my defense. I had napped on the plane. so I didn’t feel v tired. #but yeah I shouldn’t have done that bc that meant I was operating on a Significant Sleep Deficit yesterday and still had a lot of tasks #that absolutely could not wait. I needed food bc I didn’t have any in the house and needed laundry bc all my wearable clothes were dirty. #and I’d been in class since 9:30AM and went straight to the store from my last class and then straight to laundry after putting away grifos #and STILL FORGOT TO GET GAS #it’s fine I’ll get some today after chemistry or smth on the way home

[monstrousdesirestudy]

It’s so crazy that anxiety makes me feel like that meme of how animals react when a box is put over them and for the bird i think it just lays down and gives up in the dark. Too anxious to distract myself so guess I’ll just nap lol

#anxiety is a bitch #i have so much to do #but I guess I’ll nap instead

[alwaysneedyforsir]

guess who did not sleep again last night n has class in 10 minutes

#i’m gonna fall asleep in class i stg #was fine literally all night n now that i’m about to have class i’m falling asleep #maybe i’ll take a nap or smth in class #for the love of fuck someone please get me on an actual sleep schedule bc i need sleep n clearly i’m not capable of doing that for myself #so tempted to skip class n sleep instead but ik that’s a terrible idea :(( #i’m gonna cry #i’m also lowkey gonna fail all my classes this semester so there’s that #yes i am falling apart how’d you guess #me #my thoughts

[gaysontodd]

i mean. its five am. im pretty clearly not sleeping. i kinda want to go get braums ans coffee but also i need to do laundry and i only have enough juice in me to do one of those things

#leo.txt #later today ill get benna to hang out so i’ll actually nap instead of laying here awake #id love to be able to sleep reliably without another person there #i mean. shes not super effective anymore bc she’ll just leave and i need somebody there till im Out #but shucks refuses to use headphones and bosh is super twitchy and gatorade is. well.

[formulapisces]

do i nap before quali or do i have ‘breakfast’

#liveblog #accidentally said do i nap before i sleep instead of quali at first so that answers it #but i’m eating. if i nap i’ll sleep through my alarm #alèssi says things

[cheeryknots]

have done absolutely nothing productive today.

except daydreaming about barty. daydreaming about barty is always time well-spent. <3

#was supposed to write today #but i took two naps #and have been mindlessly scrolling instead #concerts in ur mid 20s knock you OUT #needed a recovery day #but i have tomorrow off work #and i like to write in the dark #so maybe i’ll stay up late tonight #and write write write #on another note: #i need more barty in my life pls n thank u

[yoohyeontual]

My body went numb a little and I’m stressed, cause I hope everything is not coming back and I’m afraid to go to sleep (cause you know I’ll feel it more since I’m not distract and I will panic) but I have to wake up in 2 hours for Puppy’s pills so I have to so sleep now 😭

#I hate being home alone that’s why I can’t leave my parents house even my dad would prefer I did (not seriously) jdidnjd #I weirdly don’t feel tired I think it’s cause I took a mini nap #even if I don’t actually sleep if I take a nap it’s like I slept 10 hours idk why #my body should allow me to have nap more often #I feel like I’m gonna panic and at 4am i still won’t be asleep so Pups gonna have his pills a little earlier #it’s suppose to be at 5 cause that’s the time my dad go to work during the week so we have a schedule #but on weekend if we wake up at 4am (or still awake in my case) we give it or sometime my parents préférer to wake up at 6am and give it #I don’t cause if the sun is up I can’t go back to sleep easily 5 is good #the pills are every 8 hours so it’s okay if there’s an hours less / more in between #that’s a think that stress me out when I’ll start working it’s 5am-1pm-9pm so what’s going to happen at 1pm if no one’s home 😭 #my mom do have a fix work schedule now so we could do 7-3-11 instead since my dad is home 4pm max #but my mom old job had a schedule all over the place it would have been messy unless I would have one fix myself #anyway going to sleep and I hope my body is just tired of being in the same 2 position most of the day #at least my eye dosen’t hurt anymore there’s that ! #goodnight ! #alex.txt

[southislandwren]

Ugh look at him.

#sorry the farm dog was being really cuddly today and he has ears like Sam and then this pic popped up in my Snapchat memories #and yesterday I accidentally said Sam instead of alphonse and Sam was in my nap dream yesterday too #and everything I do is so I can see this goofball at some point and I don’t even see a point in anything #because I know how it’s gonna go and I don’t get to see him. but I have to try right? #sorry. it’s funny I was having a great day and then this happened and I’m just sad. #idk man I just like this picture a lot and I miss him and everything hurts and I’ll never truly be happy ever again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #diary post

[deus-ex-mona]

tfw you really wanna be productive but you just can’t get into the right mindset to start </3

#to think that my initial plans were to finish the ramen double date event this weekend… lol #‘i’ll start on chapter 3 after playing this game for an hour!!!’ [ends up playing it for 4 consecutive hours instead] #‘i’ll rush home after visiting the laundromat and speed through 2 chapters today!!’ [ends up touring my new neighbourhood instead] #‘okay f i n e i’ll tl the entire thing today!!!! it’s sunday!!!!’ [ends up taking sporadic naps till the day ends] #and now it’s monday，i’m exhausted，and still as ✨unproductive✨ as ever… though i did manage to get through like 1/3 of chapter 3…? #then again all of these chapters are really short so i should’ve gotten more done than this… ughhhhhhhh #does anyone even read my tls anyway? much less wait for me to upload them…? i’m sure i’d be disappointing them if they did exist… #then again i’m used to being a disappointment anyway so it’s nbd… maybe. hm. oh well. #well… i’ll get the chapter up by the end of today i think… provided everything goes well… #no promises though </3 it’s all subject to whether i’m alive enough after the workday lol #also if anyone has tips on how to focus it’d be g r e a t — #inedible blubbering

[capricioussun]

More for the blorbo!

Does he have a favorite genre of music or a favorite band? Is he right handed, left handed, ambidextrous, or cross-dominant? Does he play any musical instruments, either underground or topside? Do you HC him with claws or just like really sharp "nails" that can be filed down? How does he deal with those?

And of course, you can always save these for when you have time!

Taking a break from attack work so I will answer these!!

His music taste is…eclectic. The thing is, he’s kind of…weird? About music? It’s super hard to gauge what he will or won’t like because he will determine his opinion on a song with completely unknowable metrics. He might like a song sheerly because of the impressive number of brass instruments. He might hate a song because of the number of times they use a specific chord progression. This song is about lunar cycles? Ugh, tacky. This song accurately references a Greek parable others usually get wrong? 12/10 great song (please note the song could actually sound like virtually almost anything). Though he’s also not really a hater, so he’s pretty relaxed about most music, as long as it isn’t too…uh, extreme? (He’d probably hate stuff like msi) Though he does admittedly have a slight soft spot for classic rock, folk, and proper classic music because of the few cassettes and Walkman he had to fix he found at the dump a long time ago… He would like My Chem if for no other reason than the Aesthetic (he can respect commitment to the bit. He might also even genuinely like a few of their songs)

He is ambidextrous! This is a hc I share with all Papyri! It was simply a matter of needing to be able to use both hands with the same level of efficiency, which actually ties in well with the next question!

It’s also part of why he learned piano! To help with hand eye coordination and dexterity! So Edge can play the piano, but…he doesn’t anymore, or at least very very rarely…

He actually has claws!! And he hates them! /hj but to explain, Edge’s claws are very real and very annoying. Due to the genetic experimentation, they are incredibly sharp, and he actually has very mild regenerative abilities. What this essentially means is that his claws are virtually untrimmable. They grow back almost instantly, he’d have to pretty much declaw himself like a cat (surgically removing the entire last phalanx of each finger) to get rid of them, and that’s way more of an inconvenience than the claws themselves are. However when they first started getting that sharp (around the age of 11), they were a big problem, and it wasn’t long before Sans had to call in a favor with Alphys to help him make Special gloves for Edge that were pretty close to untearable, since they were catching on everything. Edge couldn’t even change his clothes or bathe himself properly without winding up covered in hairline scratches and ruining the fabric.

They’ve thankfully rugged-ed out a little with age, so they’re not still that crazy sharp, but they are still sharp enough he continues wearing the gloves all the time lest he risk nicking himself or destroying clothes. He could alternatively use claw caps to prevent unwanted cutting and tearing, but he also has sensory issues, and his hands especially can be super sensitive, so the gloves are very good for that, too (a headcanon I share for UT Papyrus as well!)

At least they come in handy with looking intimidating! (Pun intended)

#i have this gif saved somewhere of how fast I kinda imagine his claws growing back. I’ll see if I can find it #smol-dargon #I feel so insane for answering these so long windedly but he’s my blorbo. my little meow meow. the hostess with the mostest he lives rent #free in a little apartment above a cafe in my brain and sometimes I play Kenny g for him and it confuses him but he doesn’t mind that much #he just thinks it’s weird. i also gave him a little cat named oreo (named by the shelter) and a cat named creature (named by him) #I provide him with enrichment like a tiger at the zoo and in return he doesn’t materialize into reality to maim me for everything I put him #through #okay I’m getting weird in the tags it’s time for a nap I think #(they said knowing full well they are not going to nap and will likely have a snack and draw some more instead) #-rotates him in my mind faster- #everybody else is weird about Spamton or sans but I’m over here being weird about uf Papyrus like a cool guy #😎 #okay okay I’m done I’m stopping now fuck #sun spots #underfell papyrus #uf edge #clear sky sunset #underfell #papyrus

[bbreaddog]

.

#personal #just had to leave my shift early bc anxiety attack lmao #so much for getting a break just by taking the week off teaching #my boss is gonna be like ‘feeling better :)?’ #and I’m gonna have to lie and say yes i am not still very burnt out bc i have most definitely had the week off to recover #fuck me. #i just texted my disability employment services provider to tell him i wanna quit this call centre job #I’ve been holding out on it for the past 3 weeks bc I’d have to look for jobs if I don’t do this job #but I don’t think it’s worth signing into a job you already wish was over an hour before it starts #I’d rather do one job that I’m confident in and doesn’t make me feel like throwing up my stomach out of my tear ducts #and search for something small on the side that only needs me casually instead of part-time #2 part-time jobs makes a full-time anxious mess #i haven’t been able to do any lesson planning for next week either like i thought I’d have time to do #anyway… #I’m gonna go cry for a bit and then take a nap #and I’ll probably take myself out for a mental health walk bc i havent been doing any exercise or sleeping well or anything for the past lik #2 months #it’s a hard knock life

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i am simply going to kill myself because my brother listened to my snapchat out loud in front out our mother and aunt and now both those bitches are fucking babying me

#yes! i had a fucking breakdown earlier bc i spilled food and ketchup all over my comforter and i was upset about everything #but don’t fucking look at me like a dying fucking kitten and go ‘are u doing better🥺🥺’ like i was but now i want to die bc ur looking and r #and speaking to me like that i am not a fucking baby and i’m not going to fucking explode at you either like that. isn’t how i act or react #so fuciing. just shut the fuck up dude idc if ur trying to be caring or whatever the fuck i’m not a BABY #I woke up from my nap and went to pee and my aunt and mom are like omg r u ok are u better than earlier did u have a good nap #like CAN OTU SHUT UP PLEASE I JUST FUCKING WOKE UP I DONT WANT TO S P E S K SND I DONT WANT TO BE SPOKEN TO BUT EXPECIALLY NOT IN THE SAME #TONE THAT YOU TALK TO BABIES AND CHILDREN IN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK I AM AN ADULT #LITERALLY. 25 YEARS OLD I WANT TO HIT YOU BOTH FOR NEVER LEARNING TO SPEAK TO ME PROPERLY EVER!!!!!!!! #and i’m fucking annoyed with my brother i fucking hate that he just listens to and replies to videos on snapchat out fucjing loud in front #of literally everyone and anyone he simply doesn’t give a fuck as if i don’t say some fuck shit or whatever the fuck to him what is WRONG #WITHYOU FUCK #like what if i was shit talking our mom or something ??????? fucking christ i’m so annoyed what the fuck i hate this shit i’m so :| #i woke up wanting to be in a good mood and vibe until i have to go to actual sleep but instead i’m in a bad fucking mood again. thanks guys! #fucking looooove it so much i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i need to find something to actively stop making me angry bc i’m like. going to ruin my own night if i don’t #also i FUCKING woke up with FUCKING acid reflux i want to scream from the rooftops so fucking bad #anyways i guess i’ll go look at abby or something idfk

[tyrianlynch]

Anyways I’m 78% thru and will finish it tomorrow

#just gotta get it done before work #even my downtown during my shift tomorrow with be FILLED with activity #so I def won’t have time to read at work #my allergies are horrible and making me exhausted so I might nap instead of read tomorrow during te day #but no matter what I will finish it tomorrow #if I can’t read during the day I’ll do it when I get home after my shift