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twinfuegobb · 5 years

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endings > beginnings

I’ve experienced a shifting moment during mercury in retrograde this past month. It happened swiftly for which I’m most grateful. I had been in a blooming relationship for a few months which seemed to be everything I hoped for in a partner. I was loved deeply by this person, but I couldn’t understand why it felt challenging to accept and reciprocate that love. I suddenly became uncomfortable in my body as my mind wandered. While I was on a work trip I caught a sense of the buzzing freedom I feel when I’m far from home. That sense of unknown sparks a feeling of independence that seems to fuel me. In those moments I’m sometimes able to dig deep into my spirit. By simply gazing out of hotel windows onto new and enchanting landscapes or going for walks just to soak in the air- this is where I find the real me. I started to gain clarity as I tuned into the way my body was physically urging me to make changes. My jaw had been clenching up in my sleep for days and I knew I was no longer being true to myself or my partner in this relationship. It felt as if something was missing and I even now, I can’t explain what that is. He was so sure of me and I wanted so badly to be that sure of him too. Within a day of coming home, through tears and in a quivering voice, I told him I couldn’t be with him anymore. It was dreadful, but I felt hopeful. I wrote him this just days after and while I never gave it to him, we had a chance to speak one last time and I told him everything I could from this:

I know I have caused you a great deal of confusion and pain. There isn't anything I can do to fix it now, but I hope soon you will forgive me. It's a lot to wrap my head around- knowing that I've hurt someone who I love and care for. Since Day 1, you have made me feel free and safe. You gave me a type of love that was unique and new for me. Through you I have started to see myself as someone who is strong, beautiful, brave, and genuine. When I left your house, my heart broke realizing I was walking away from a man who changed my life for the better. I am the person I am now, in part because of what you have given me. I'm absolutely certain that our time together was destined. The signs were always there and I would never want to change a thing about it. I'm grateful to have been given the chance to learn and be loved by you. I'm writing you because I feel stupid and cowardly for not having the right words to express myself before. My heart was racing and I couldn't possibly articulate my thoughts through the wave of emotions that overcame me. I hated the fact that I was causing you pain. I will always hate the thought of hurting you.

It's been difficult, even now, to tell you how or why I've made the decision to move on from us, but I know you deserve my honesty. I know I deserve it too. I want to give you some clarity and am trying my best to explain why I know what I need to do for me, despite the hurt it has caused you. It has become clear, through reflection and with time, I have to shift my focus on myself. I still have some healing and growing to tend to. I've struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens. In recent years, I've developed skills to help manage this without medication, but lately, there had been times I started showing physical signs of that old growing anxiety. These are symptoms of deeper issues I was choosing to ignore. I'm digging deep into my childhood and past experiences, looking for clues about my fears and the habits I've picked up to cope.

I need to finally address the issues I've been harboring. I have come a long way in my journey, but still I find myself lacking the confidence to be fully true to who I am. Now, I feel shame and guilt about celebrating parts of me that don't fit into the box I used to fantasize about. I’m beginning to understand how important it is for me to learn to love myself better. I want to be stronger and more confident. I suppressed my deeply rooted issues and past triggers, because I was scared. Since I had our relationship to fuel my happiness, I caught myself growing complacent in our safety net. I allowed myself to be soothed by your tenderness instead of finding healthier ways to do that on my own. I got lost in your kind gestures and thoughtful words while I used them to fill in the gaps of my broken ego (at both our expense). The truth is, I have problems with co-dependency. Since I've been in a relationship all of my adult life, I've often found myself searching for validation in other people. I’ve grown malleable and adopted ideas from my loved ones about who I am and what I should be. For so long it was easy to find a version of myself in everyone but me.

In hindsight, my happiness seems fleeting because I've spent so much time basing my joy on the attention I received from others, especially my partners- including you. It's time for me to fix this. I don't want to repeat my mistakes and hurt someone or myself like this again. I know now, that I need to spend time learning what love and relationship means to me and how I want to manifest it in a way that suits me, not out of convenience. I want to grow and get there in a healthy way in the future. My views on everything are changing constantly and quickly. I'm a late bloomer just trying to make up for lost time. As I sit and reflect about who I am and where I see myself, I sometimes feel lost. I don't know what to think about monogamy, marriage, and family. These are core values that I need to be better about understanding and defining for myself before I commit to a relationship again. It would be reckless to drag you or anyone along for that ride. At the very least, I should have been more honest about that with myself so I could be truer to you. I know that my fear, doubts, and confusion have negatively impacted you. It's important for me to have you know that I don't regret us. There is nothing you could have or should have done differently. I am deeply grateful for the connection we share and the time we spent together. Nothing could change that. You are an incredible human and a man who your next partner will be so lucky to have. Your deep capacity for love and your unending strength will inspire me for the rest of my life. Thank you for all you have been for me.

#soulmate #soulconnection #destiny #fate #relationships #couples #love #towermoment #awakening #ltr #monogamy #expansion #selflove #healing #loveletter #breakup

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touristguidebuzz · 7 years

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13 Non-Travel Books That Changed My Life

I read many different kinds of books. It’s not all travel. Last month, I shared some of my recent favorite travel books. This month, I wanted to share the non-travel books that have had the most impact on my life and feel have made me a better person. These created paradigm shifts in my thinking. They just made me go “Ohh damn!” They got to interested in new ideas, literature, personal development, and so much more.

If you’re looking to improve your life, change a habit, expand your mind, or just want something interesting to read, here are twelve of the most influential books in my life:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey

One of the most famous books in the world, this book taught me habits to create a better lifestyle including planning out your week, sleeping more, being proactive in life, the importance of creating win-win situations, and the importance of continuous improvement. It articulated the small things I forget to do to make me a more organized and thoughtful person. If you haven’t read it, you really must! This book will help you become less mindless in your actions and more thoughtful overall. Even if you pick up just one tip to better organize your life in this chaotic world, it will be worth it.

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg

Why do we do what we do? Are we hard-wired to repeat habits, even when they are bad? How do we break them and form good ones? This bestselling book discusses how we form habits and gives specific strategies about how to break the bad ones and start good ones. It really made me think about the negative habits in my life, why I keep doing them, and how I can change that. I started thinking of all the excuses I tell myself that keep negative habits in my life. Because of this book, I started sleeping at a more regular time, reading again, drinking less, and being more productive. I can’t recommend it enough.

Titan, by Ron Chernow

The biography of J.D. Rockefeller and his rise to power is long, dense, and worth every second. Rockefeller was a fascinating man – ruthless in business yet a devout Christian who founded some the biggest universities and health institutions the world has even seen. While I have no desire to be as ruthless as him, this biography was a good lesson in how frugality, slowness, and thoughtfulness can lead to success in life and business. J.D. never moved quickly, was financially conservative, and always reinvested in his company business. His methodical thinking made me rethink how I made business decisions.

Losing My Virginity, by Richard Branson

Richard Branson’s autobiography was super interesting (this guy does a lot of insane things) and it inspired me to create my non-profit (FLYTE). I’d been thinking about it for years but reading how Branson just went for things he believed in and worked out the details later inspired me. It’s in stark contrast to Rockefeller, but Branson’s “why wait?” philosophy on starting projects makes a lot of sense. There’s never going to be a perfect time to start something so why wait? Just like there’s no perfect moment to travel, there’s no perfect moment to do something great. Just take the leap!

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie’s multi-decade old, but still relevant, book was instrumental in helping me shut my mouth. Ignoring the sensational title, this book ties heavily into what the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People says about listening to when people talk, not being a know it all, and empathizing with others as a way to connect and then influence them. As an introverted person (see Quiet below), this book helped me learn to talk to people better…not in a Machiavellian way but in a way that made me better at handling social situations.

Quiet, by Susan Cain

I’m an introvert in an extroverted world. I would rather read books and sit by myself than be at a big party filled with strangers. I know that sounds weird since I travel all the time and meet people but when I’m with my friends, I get social anxiety about meeting strangers. This renowned book looks at why the world is so extroverted, how that affects us, and lessons for dealing with both introverts and extroverts. As I read through it, I saw myself in the author’s examples and her author’s lessons on balancing your inner and outer space helped me deal with my social anxiety.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith

Written by a management consultant, this book is a guide for executives to become better managers. However, it’s much more than that. It’s a book on how to listen, behave, and think better. Its premise is that if you want to jump up to the next station in life, you’ll need a different set of skills – not educational skills – but interpersonal skills. Successful people interact well with others and this book talks about the small things, like looking at your phone during lunch or multitasking at a meeting, that send signals to people you’re not really there. This book got me to focus on my relationships more.

Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.

Every day we consume food but how aware are we when it comes to what we eat? This book illuminates the insidious ways society creeps in larger portions and mindless eating habits on us that make us gain weight and develop bad skills. This isn’t a book that’s going to just tell you to eat healthier, it shows all the ways society and commercials indoctrinate us to subconsciously eat more food, from growing plate sizes to bulk shopping to “super sizing it.” This book changed how I think about food, consume food, and guard against the insidious nature of calorie creep! I’ve stopped my mindless eating and have been a lot healthier since.

The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene

Written by legendary writer Robert Greene, this book features 48 rules for living a masterful, powerful life. It features historical examples that reinforce the rules and what happens to those who break them. Slightly Machiavellian, I’ve found these “laws” helpful in dealing with my business, strangers, and situations where it is good to have the upper hand (like when you want to argue a bill with Comcast). I find these tips to be more helpful in a workplace environment than in everyday life (mostly because I have no desire to “rule” people or manipulate my friends). It’s oddly very stoic in parts. This book made me think more strategically in my life.

Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser

When I was in college, a friend handed me this book and, after reading it, I became a vegetarian. Actually, I tried going organic but, in 2002, organic was even more expensive than it is now. This book opened up my eyes to the crap we put in food, the horrible conditions animals live in, and how poorly we treat food workers. Organic, locally grown, and sustainable are all buzzwords these days, and while people are definitely more conscious of what they eat, I still feel like we are too far removed from the farm. Understanding where our food comes from is essential in changing how we eat and this book did just that…and still does thirteen years later. Making better food choices leads to a happy, healthier life.

The Ecology of Commerce, by Paul Hawken

When I was still working in a cubicle, I did a lot of volunteer work with the environmental organization, The Sierra Club. I wanted to meld my desire for success with my passion for the environment but I didn’t think the two were compatible until I read this seminal book on sustainable development. It opened my eyes to the possibility that you could create a business and be environmentally-friendly at the same. More that, it changed my consumer habits, helped me make more environmentally-friendly purchases, and showed me how I could be less wasteful. It was one of the most influential books I read in my 20s and was the reason I decided to do something that changed the world. I never went into sustainable development, but I like to think this website makes a positive impact in the world.

The ONE Thing, by Gary Keller

You can’t walk into any bookstore these days without seeing this book prominently displayed. Short a book for a flight, I finally picked it up – and devoured it. It was excellent, and a really quick and easy read. I loved how he framed everything around asking yourself what is the one thing you can do to make your life better – daily, weekly, yearly. He hits so many negative aspects of our lives spot on – multi-tasking, the psychology of switching, to the power of planning and systems. This book reminded me of the things I knew to do but wasn’t and it was the wake up call I needed to finally do them.

The Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande

While this book talks a lot about the systems hospitals and doctors used to reduce medical errors, there is a lot to be extrapolated. There’s power in checklists; they ensure nothing is missed and help you verify the work that has been done. He even quotes my old boss from when I was working in healthcare (who helped pioneer surgical team processes). Reading this book changed how I view procedures and how this website operates (my team actually has procedure documents for everything we do) but it also gave me the idea to create lists and structures in my own personal life.

Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo

I read this book when I was 14 years old. At the end of class, when we would get five minutes to chat to friends, I’d take out the unabridged version of this book and get lost in Hugo’s world. This book made me love reading. It turned me on to the power of the classics. From there it was on to Dumas, Dickens, Austen, and so many other 18th and 19th century writers. I’d blow through their tomes in school, captivated by their vivid imagery and detailed writing. And, in turn, these books improved my writing, vocabulary, and love of literature.

When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi

At the age of 36, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. In this beautifully written book, Kalanithi tells his story up until the end (his wife writes the post-script as he did not finish the book before his death). This powerful book (I dare you not to cry) ruminates on what makes life worth living in the face of death. What do you do when you know you don’t have much time left? We all die but I think most of us never really think about it. It’s just something that happens far into the future. This book will make you think profoundly about your life and what you prioritize.

A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway

Ernest Hemingway is my favorite author of all time. Apparently, he was a huge jerk, but he wrote like few others and his writing always moves me. When I was in high school, I read this book and it made me want to be a writer. When I finished it, I said, “I want to write like that.” In fact, in tenth grade, I tried to write a novel that was very much like this book simply because I wanted to be like Hemingway and copying him was the best way I could think of to become a successful writer. I had visions of being a young writing prodigy (spoiler: I was not), however, I kept that loving of writing and a few years ago my dream of being author came to fruition. Somewhere a 16-year-old me is smiling. Even if you don’t want to be a writer, read this book. It’s one of the best books ever written.

***************So there you have it. These books made me reshape my life – often in drastic ways – and I’ve never once regretted reading them. They are thought-provoking and I encourage you to read them, if not to at least to see a different perspective on things.

Love to read? If you’re a book junkie like I am, join our monthly book club where I send you a list of the best books I’ve recently read. You’ll get a list of 3-5 suggested books sent once a month! It’s free to join! Just enter your name and email below to sign up:

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fadingfartconnoisseur · 7 years

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13 Non-Travel Books That Changed My Life

If you’re looking to improve your life, change a habit, expand your mind, or just want something interesting to read, here are twelve of the most influential books in my life:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg

Titan, by Ron Chernow

Losing My Virginity, by Richard Branson

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie

Quiet, by Susan Cain

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith

Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.

The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene

Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser

The Ecology of Commerce, by Paul Hawken

The ONE Thing, by Gary Keller

The Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande

Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo

When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi

A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway

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tamboradventure · 7 years

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13 Non-Travel Books That Changed My Life

If you’re looking to improve your life, change a habit, expand your mind, or just want something interesting to read, here are twelve of the most influential books in my life:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg

Titan, by Ron Chernow

Losing My Virginity, by Richard Branson

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie

Quiet, by Susan Cain

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith

Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.

The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene

Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser

The Ecology of Commerce, by Paul Hawken

The ONE Thing, by Gary Keller

The Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande

Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo

When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi

A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

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I'd like to receive the free email course. Yes! I want to read more!

Find some of my other book recommendations here, here, here, or here! Or, you can sign up for my monthly book club here.

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theladyjstyle · 7 years

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If you’re looking to improve your life, change a habit, expand your mind, or just want something interesting to read, here are twelve of the most influential books in my life:

7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg

Titan, by Ron Chernow

Losing My Virginity, by Richard Branson

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie

Quiet, by Susan Cain

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith

Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.

The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene

Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser

The Ecology of Commerce, by Paul Hawken

The ONE Thing, by Gary Keller

The Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande

Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo

When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi

A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Email Address

I'd like to receive the free email course. Yes! I want to read more!

Find some of my other book recommendations here, here, here, or here! Or, you can sign up for my monthly book club here.

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cringeynews · 7 years

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New Post has been published on CringeyNews

New Post has been published on http://cringeynews.com/viral-videos/child-bodybuilder-and-worlds-strongest-boy-grows-up/

Child Bodybuilder and World’s Strongest Boy Grows Up

Ever heard the story of the world’s strongest boy? Well, let me pique your interest. His name is Richard Sandrak and at 8 years of age, he looked more like a tiny version of Arnold Schwarzenegger or a circus act than an ordinary 8-year-old. His tale inspired a 2004 documentary ‘The World’s Strongest Boy’ and a host of bodybuilding websites. The documentary detailed his ability to do splits and bench-press three times his own body weight. The strong child began training since the age of two in the United States but the hard work never really paid off. He is now an internet hit after he reappeared in the public eye more than 15 years later in “Where Are They Now”? TV special, looking all grown up, gentle and certainly happier than ever. Join us as we take a chronological look at the story of Little Hercules, his life, and how far he’s come.

10. Road To Stardom – Arnold Schwarzenegger Bodybuilding Style

Richard Sandrak was born in Ukraine on April 15, 1992. His parents Pavel and Lena were sportsmen (Pavel, a martial arts champion, and Lena, an aerobics competitor). The family later moved to the United States in 1994 with the promise of a new life. They lived in Pennsylvania with their two-year-old son but his father wanted more; to make him a weightlifter and a martial artist.

Starting out so young, little Sandrak doddered about his father’s home gym. Without considering the weight effect on the child, his father taught him how to lift lighter weights, stretching, and primary martial arts techniques. It was only a matter of time before his workout routine took a turn of its own as a full bodybuilding course including the diet for a bodybuilder. By the time he was four, he was already strong enough to handle 600 push-ups, 600, sit-ups and 300 squats daily (talk about bodybuilding the natural way). That’s sure sounds terrifying! Well, at 6 years, he became fully chiseled out and was bench-pressing weight three times his weight.

9. Sudden Smash Hit – Embracing Bodybuilding

While living in Southern California with their muscle-bound boy, the family spotted Frank Giardina – a fitness trainer who helped change Sandrak’s fate forever.

During Giardina’s first encounter with the young builder who looked like a tiny version of Schwarzenegger, he thought he was a midget.

With time, the combination of his father’s strict fitness regimen and Giardinas’ new regimen, Sandrak grew into a stronger boy, maintained on a good bodybuilding diet. By age 8, Richardard Sandrak was able to bench-press 210 pounds. It was good news to his family and they took another bold venture unveiling the bodybuilder to the world.

Richard Sandrak gained international fame for his athletic build in the 2004 documentary “The World’s Strongest Boy”. This was when he graced a bodybuilding event as Little Hercules. He was suitably named the world’s strongest child.

8. Success Trail

Richard’s parents’ long dream came alive when he began to land countless contracts. He also received endorsements for television appearances and invitations for bodybuilding nutrition videos.

Hundreds queued up to meet him in person and financial rewards streamed in. His physique also made the front page news of many magazines. He began travelling across the country to take part in competitions, and photo shoots for numerous magazines as a body builder. Nevertheless, his father gathered as many criticisms for pushing small Hercules a bit too much for the fame.

7. Non-Stop Bodybuilding

Given the obvious progress, little Hercules was subjected to a non-stop workout routine. His money thirsty father forced him to undergo his bodybuilding strength training miles away from the classroom and so found it a bit difficult to play and mingle with friends.

As the strength training progressed, Giardina began to notice Pavel’s brutish and uncivil character. He forced Richard to spend the night on floors to enhance his body. Made him repeat exercises when he fails an attempt. Sandrak was never able to eat junk food or any sweets. His father placed him on a harsh diet for a bodybuilder even when he enjoys comfort foods like pizza in front of him. It was really challenging — physically and mentally, although Richard says his father never forced him into bodybuilding.

“I’ve never been forced to train or do anything against my will”, he said. “My parents used to train all the time and I wanted to join in. It was mostly my choice. It’s just what I grew up doing. I was never forced. It was never an issue.”

When Giardina could no longer stand the abuse, he tried to stop Pavel. But Pavel threatened to kill him, forcing him to leave the family. The world kept celebrating the young man without knowledge of his tough predicament. Behind the buff body frame and popularity lied sadness in the heart of a boy who had no childhood outside the gym.

6. Strict Days of Home Training

At 15, his fame was already sinking. Yet, his father made him headline-grabbing once more. Giardina’s concerns had pushed the family in a rough spot as Pavel turned against Lena. He let off his frustrations on her, abusing her to the core. Richard had to call the police and requested for no-siren rescue to escape his father’s wrath.

The assault left Lena with a broken nose and wrist, Pavel was thrown into prison and under psychiatric supervision. With his father basking in jail, Hercules enjoyed a better life. He got back with his trainer, Giardina while his mother filed a divorce suit. As the divorce case went on, Lena employed a new talent manager, Marco Garcia. Even so, Richard had a normal life and munched on just about any junk food.

5. Back To Being A Celebrity

Hercules, nonetheless, pursued his father’s initial dream to venture into show business again. In 2009, his new talent manager, Garcia released his debut film titled “Little Hercules” in 3-D featuring Sandrak, Hulk Hogan and Judd Nelson. In 2012, Hercules starred in two more movies but new career tossed and turned. Be that as it may, he went on with his bodybuilding workout, but narrowed it to fives times a week and 90 minutes of training every day. He later landed an endorsement to star in health shows for kids named “Workout Video for Kids”.

4. New Sandrak Shows Up

Sandrak has now reached the posh age of 24 and he’s transformed quite a lot. He now looks different from the little Hercules who flew up the sky.

He’s given up on weight-lifting and is now almost unrecognisable which is by any rate, good. He now has a beard, ponytail and a built stomach that hides his once defined six-pack abs. Richard Sandrak told Inside Edition that he and his mother cut ties with his dad after he was jailed and so he did the same to bodybuilding. Good enough, the Hercules we used to know found a new dream along the line; to be a quantum scientist or an engineer for NASA. He now works as a stuntman at the Universal Studios Hollywood Waterworld show but says he no longer wants to be a bodybuilder. For Sandrak, “I don’t like weights anymore. If anything, it just got boring to me”.

3. Getting Back to Normal

Richard may have dumped weightlifting and the strict diet for a bodybuilder for life but he didn’t let himself bulge out.

While he visibly lost his defined six-pack abs for healthier and more normal look, he still embarks on less intense exercise (running, jogging, chins up, skateboarding and stair climbing). He is now a soft speaker and allows none of his childhood bitterness show in his current life. Apart from having an amazing frame, Richard is now six-foot tall though he is still proud of his old physique. At the same time, Richard insists “People try to make me seem like some sort of freak of nature, but there were many kids that had a very similar physique.”

2. Embracing his Future

As a child, Richard was once rumoured to had been given steroids by his mentally deranged father. This was after the 2004 documentary ‘The World’s Strongest Boy’ claims his body fat was less than 1 percent.

And since this can be harmfully low, medical experts’ hypothetical supposition argued that such muscular development needs testosterone which children younger than 10 do not have –suggesting steroids were involved however, Lena Sandrak, Richard’s mother denied that her son used such substances.

Well, having given up on fame and all the gossips that come with it, Richard is now adopting a healthier attitude toward his past and embracing his future. He is excited and enjoys the privacy that comes with not being famous.

1. Personal Life of The World’s Strongest Boy

Richard is currently single and has never been married yet. His sexual orientation is straight. He presently lives a simple life in Los Angeles. His zodiac sign is Aries. He is not very rich and has dumped the dark days behind him.

Via

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