#shes right johnny it doesnt help!!!!

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Johnny in court: I'll vouch for Neil Foster personally

Johnny to Neil: can't fuckin trust blood sorcerers

#path of night podcast #pon liveblogging #pon s2ep29 #good for wynn calling him out #shes right johnny it doesnt help!!!!

[minglana]

why am i meeting Iarri3s irl after leaving the fandom what the hell

#one of the dorm workers asked me what music i liked (shes already asked me before but ig she forgot) #so i told her mushkaa johnny cash and that i also liked 0nedee #and FIRST THING SHE ASKS ME is 'omg did you like harry and (she confused louis for liam)' and i was like WHAT👀💀 of course i did #also it doesnt help that today right before going to the office i was watching best song ever mv😭 #and now im rewatching old videos😭😭😭 #but anyways like whyyyyyy do i meet fans after leaving the fandom. WHY couldnt i make friends w ppl like this while i still enjoyed them😭 #z xarre

[netripper]

finally listened to dummy by portishead and it's infesting my brain w thoughts of the johnny/vic 2013 fic i was gonna write

^ how i felt listening to this for the first time

#IF THE VIDEO DOESNT LOAD: it's roads by portishead #silverv #good lord. oh my god. jesus christ #this album is so good #perfect vibe #the idea for the fic was johnny and vic cross paths in a 2013 au #in which vic is trying to work against DDI (from the old tabletop books) and johnny is about to leave NC after alt's death #but they meet at Just the right time #vic's been screwed by her associates and blamed for a big hack and she runs into johnny while she's running from some corpo agents #johnny is johnny and he gets infatuated bc holy shit a pretty netrunner fucking up corps... echoes a lot of features of alt in her face too #he picks up smth she drops and tracks her down to help #in this story DDI is under fire for using their massive influence as the main way ppl connect with their faith to do some mass surveillance #thru their prayerware and other things - and vic doesn't like televangelism to BEGIN with #so that's where that thread comes from #and johnny's like ''eh fuck it. why not stick it to a corp one last time'' #i have the ideas down i just need to get to a point where i feel i can write it #vanta rambles #au: the hand of god (2013)

[jrueships]

if will and tray don't make up in season 2 im ****ing myself

#if tray doesnt appear at all im gonna be DEVASTATED #i feel like a saddened parent trying to get my kid to make friends with the little rich girl again #so i can get on her familys cruiseship sipping a martini yahearme #like son i dont CARE if she called ur breath stank I DONE TOLD U FIFTY TIMES TO SING COUNTING STARS WHILE U BRUSH! #no son im not giving u one of those musical brushes #AINT U HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TO LIL JOHNNY? #thing done exploded his jaw yuhhuh his mandible on a hinge now UHHUH! #THE CRAZY LADY AT CHURCH TOLD ME SO and shes only right about the things relative to earth so we can trust her this time #MAKE FRIENDS WITH UR BF ICE TRAY MALBURP WHATEVER OR SO HELP ME!!!!!! #IM GONNA GROUND U WILL!!!!!!

[ghxstyfae]

Real Subtle ☆ J.G

Johnnies and his girlfriend havent publicly confirmed/announced their relatshionship, so when she walks in on his stream, unknowingly covered in hickies. This accidentally hard-launches their relatshionship.

Masterlist

Pinterest board

Anon: Why is the gf called baby?

"Yeah Jakes not home right now. Its just me and Baby, but shes watching netflix right now." He thought back to earlier in the day. Jake had left to do a video with Tara, and both Johnnie and Baby had been nearly inseparable since finally getting together so they spent all day practically in eachothers skins.

"'Baby always serves cunt' yeah. Yeah shes iconic" Johnnie laughed a bit. As if hearing her name, there was a knock on the door. "Speaking of..." He acknowledged, hovering his finger near the mic to turn it off if he needed to. "Whats up Baby?"

User: I wish they would get together

User: Joby for life

User: Baby's so hot🙏🏽

"Im so done with love is blind" she started, opening the door and closing it behind her. "Like this one girl, who is the sweetest girl ever," she dragged another chair infront of Johnnies desk, just off to the side. Johnnie laughed and the chat was filled with people making jokes. "And yet shes still pining over this ridiculous fool because he has a nickname for her." Finally, Baby sits down, having finished her ramble.

Johnnie was still smiling brightly at her, making her sort of self concious. "Whats wrong?" She asked, titling her head, causing Johnnie to chuckle again. The chat was going crazy, nearly making his computer lag.

"Oh, nothing Baby," he snorted, barely able to get through his sentence without laughing. "Did you burn yourself with your curling wand?" He asked, turning away from her for a second. She looked confused at him and then the camera.

"What are you even talking about? Johnnie what the hell-" she saw herself on screen and gripped her collar before freezing.

"Johnnie..." She paused, looking over to her boyfriend. He kept his moth pulled toght as he attempted not to snort. With watery eyes, she looked as if she was about to mumble out an apology, or break down in tears. Johnnie quickly kissed her forehead and wiped away the tears that were forming.

"Baby dont cry" he tried to suppress a chuckle. He didnt want to make her feel bad, but he couldnt help but find her being so upset sort of endearing.

Looking back at the chat, johnnie smiled awkwardly. "Well uh, i guess now you guys know?"

☆

Hey yall im so sorry, this is my first rpf and im pretty sure it doesnt fit his personality, please lmk how i could improve<33

#jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilburt fanfiction #fanfiction #johnnie guilbert imagines #emo boy

[ohbo-ohno]

🪀 werewolf soap who only shows up at readers door in his wolf form so she thinks hes just a wild animal but hes SO FUCKING SWEET that she just. can't help herself (im nonbinary but by god do I perpetuate the "white woman" stereotype when it comes to dangerous animals. wdym thats a wolf thats just a big puppy and i call him soap 💖) and just. reader just keeps feeding him. keeps petting him, never lets him in but one day he just bullies himself right past her into her home and lays in the middle of the floor and refuses to leave. Spends an obscene amount of time leaving his scent on anything and everything she owns before he returns to his den. slowly starts hiding his things in her home while shes sleeping. Keeps weaseling his way inside at any given opportunity, until one night theres a wild storm (snow or thunder doesnt matter) and reader just. keeps pacing by the front door because her poor wolf friend could be out there in this. And sure, hes an animal thats built for it, but she feels bad. He's SO HAPPY the moment she slams open her door amd ushers him inside out of the cold that he transforms, naked and taller than her, and wrangles reader into his arms, ignoring her shrieks of surprise as he claims her mouth with his. and probably goes further bc this is soap we're talkjng abt hes kinda like that.

anyway the point is mmmm werewolf soap

alright i have three - count em three! - asks in my inbox about werewolf soap x reader stuff and im soooo sorry for the delay my beloveds but! im answering them now! they're really good and fun and i've been hoarding them for myself

this ask is like actually perfect. this is a full fic idea. i'd read 10k of this and im so serious

i loove the potential domesticity here. you try to teach him a trick and are blown away by how smart he is when he gets it immediately! (johnny's insulted the first time you tell him to sit, but you get very excited and hug him so he's more than willing to amuse you for a bit)

you come out of your house one morning and see him sleeping in your flowerbeds. you nearly screech at him, storming over in your robe and glaring. he's very shocked to wake up to that sight, and scrambles away from your flowers as quickly as possible. brings you a bunch of wildflowers later as an apology <3

you let him sleep in your house one night and wake up the next morning with his muzzle under your sleepshirt, resting on your stomach. he huffs all amused when you yelp and jerk away, cause you're just so cute when you're sleepy <3

he likes surprising you. you're always so trusting around him (once you're convinced he won't hurt you). you never hold back your personality at all, no fear of judgement from an animal. and he loves seeing you be so genuine, and you're never as genuine as you are when he sneaks up on you. he loves the way you gasp, then make a little high pitched noise (anywhere from a squeal to a screech) and then a laugh when you recognize him. he loves loves loves it, takes every opportunity to surprise you he can

im soooo into the image of soap being too excited to keep his ruse up any longer. he's so so so happy to see you!!!! can't settle for licking you anymore, needs to kiss you!!!! and so he shifts and scoops you up in his arms, holds you close and laughs all loud and from the belly when you start screaming <3 he loves how surprised you sound, pulls you up enough that he can rub his cheek along yours, rumbling a low sound in his chest

yeah mmm werewolf soap <3

#🪀 anon #soap mactavish x reader #bo writes

[sillygoosealert]

Can you write about Smoke x reader, where reader has a secret crush on Smoke who accidently finds out because someone else lets it slip?

I feel so silly when people ask me stuff, you want ME to write for you? Tehe okay my PPP (Pretty Pink Princess)

Having a SECRET crush on Smoke (≧ω≦)/

Context- your a recruited nurse for the Wu Shi (if you would like me to write about you being a fighter or anything specific just ask because i LIVE for requests)

When being recruited to help at the Wu Shi Academy, you weren’t expecting people besides those training at the Wu Shi to appear

But it seems people from the Lin Kuei like to test their might against those in training

Call it fate, but when a smoking hot young man is observing the recruits, you smile a little and feel fuzzy

You can’t keep this to yourself- you have to ask who he is

So when you’re patching up one of the newest rag-dolls, Jonny Cage, you mention him very casually

‘Did you see the guy with grey hair? Do you know why he’s here?’ He looks you up and down, quirking his eyebrow.

‘He’s smoking, isn’t he?’ You give him a thousand-mile stare, not sure how far this conversation is aloud to go- if you’re allowed to have it at all.

‘He’s cute.. is he becoming one of our recruits?’ you cross your toes, fingers, and legs- which you’d rather keep open but that doesn’t matter right now.

‘I could hook you up, we’re kinda tight’ you know who else is tight.. he wraps an arm around you, exaggerating a sigh as he does.

‘Really? What’s his name?’ Things are going good, too good and too fast, but good..

‘Tomas, he’s a gentle giant, a beefcake too’ you saw, his biceps were massive.

‘Can we keep this between us..? This is the least professional conversation I’ve had..ever’

‘Of course babydoll, my lips- are sealed’ no they are not, they are always moving, but what did you expect?

You go on with your days sitting close to Tomas and getting stared at by Johnny, who is not subtle

You think Tomas notices too, as he looks away with a pink face

You’re sitting at lunch with all the apprentices and smoke- who wanted to spend some time here..

You and Tomas are talking and joking around about the Lin Kuei having competition with how hard everyone is training; you’re definitely laughing a little too hard but he doesn’t mind- or maybe he just doesn’t notice.

‘You’re laughing a little too hard..’ Johnny giggles (tehe) and raises his eyebrows.

‘I don’t mind..’ Tomas says, what a savior.

Lunch ends and you almost go to your respective spots until Johnny and Tomas strike up a conversation.

‘Nice catch, how’d you know she liked you? Was it the laughing?’ Oh.My.Gods.

‘Sorry Johnny, could you repeat that?’ No..OH MY GODS

‘Oh..I thought you knew..’ your fight or flight kicks in, you could-

They’re both staring at you, hard.

‘Hey, it’s okay that you like me- really..’ you might spazz out right then and there, or cry.

‘I..okay..’ you fiddle with your uniform, then you see his shoes right infront of you..

‘Hey..’ you might scream and run into the forest naked- only to be found 2 weeks later dead of starvation and a mortified look on your face.

I NEED help on what to do next

#tomas x reader #tomas vrbada #tomas mk1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat #mk smoke #mk1 smoke #smokin hot #blowing smoke #Tehe

[halfadoginatank]

Simon and his father take a trip to the Scottish highlands for the summer, he knows only one of them will leave.

Johnny is a boy obsessed with filming explosions from fireworks he's not supposed to have.

Los Vaqueros are a group of Mexican teens derailed from their field trip waiting for teachers that might not come back.

Huge lore and plot dump below.

Mild tw for Simons father

Simons father has always taken him on hunting trips, sometimes he hated them, some times he liked them. But he'd never taken him this far from manchester. There are weapons in the cabin they rent, his father is eerily sober, one of them is going to die out here. Simon can only hope that Tommy won't be next.

Johnny meets him when he strays too far from his father. Part of it on purpose, he would never be on equal footing, more so when his father had the rifle and not him. He's in the tree's, at first simon thinks its prey, but there's a camera lense staring right at his scope.

Los Vaqueros come later, the leader arguing with a girl with choppy hair, Valeria and Alejandro trade glares while Rodolfo tries to mediate. Their bus broke down, leaving them stuck in town desperately renting a cabin near but far from the one simon is in.

It's the most interesting thing thats happened to johnny, and in the makeshift bonfire Valeria corners him and Simon. Her gaze is snakelike and a ring clinks on the bottle she's holding

"You say that he's an asshole yes? Your padre. Mine was the same, en mi opinión? It is kill or be killed."

Valeria nods at Alejandro, she tells them of a faceless force where she's from. The person sponsoring the trip for them, 'good will'. The five of them band together, the rest of the Vaqueros utterly ignorant.

Simon will save his family, Alejandro will get them home, and johnny? He's going to make the best home video.

-

Yeah so thats the whole plot, originally it was just going to be ghoap but somehow the Vaqueros fell into place. It kind of made more sense to have Valeria give them the idea? She doesnt have a whole bunch of canon lore so I figured she'd have an in with the cartel via her father, who was awful. And when Valeria killed him the nameless helped her cover it up and she got her own little spot.

Alejandro broke off their relationship after that, it's why they're on bad terms. He formed the Vaqueros as a funny joke that he started to take seriously when kids around Las Almas genuinely needed help that wasnt someway connected to the cartel, adults had that with rudys mother, so Ale and his childhood friend Rudy decided to help people their age in a way that doesn't rely on adults too much.

Everyone here is about 16-18. Soap is 17, ghost is as well but a few months older. Rudy Alejandro and Valeria are 18. And the youngest cowboy is 16.

Im trying to fit Gaz and Alex in? Im thinking that they both live in Texas, Gazs parents had a falling out since mum was from Texas hes there. Their school is on the same trip in the same bus a sort of cross trip to help the shitty american public school get a better name, as well as the cartels big PR move with having a class from one of Las Almas' schools.

Johnny is a bit weird here, but his motivation is he's suffering from extreme middle kid issues. Loves his family but since he's almost invisible is able to just kinda run off as long as hes back home eventually. He has a camera he uses to film any of his mishaps with, its essentially just jackass. As well as a video diary. Dont be fooled, its also an excuse for me to write some of it in script like format.

Simon is almost exactly the same as he is in the 09 comics, obviously a bit different. But childhood is the same.

I wanted farah to be here so bad but her childhood is literally a warzone and theres no way I can get her and her brother in Scotland. Because im trying so hard to make this somewhat believable, like yes its is a summer mystery horror au. But god I just really need things to make a little sense otherwise I cant do it. Same with Price Nik and Laswell. Like I could group Laswell in with Alex and gaz, and maybe I could pair her with Valeria for funsies. However Nikolai is in russia so... oopsie, and price? Like... how do you turn price into a teenager, he'd be what 19 or 20? Theres no reason he'd be in school, I dont think he'd be held back.

Also you may wonder, why is graves not here? Uh.... because I dont care, he wouldn't have a place here. The antagonist is Simons father, and honestly man? I just dont care that much for his character.

Man theres... theres so much I have here dude, I want to throw roach in there, and I THINK I could squeeze him in as one of ghosts school mates but the point is the first act has Simon completely isolated.

Anyway thats it. Bye.

#im gonna post so much about this #so im just going to have it under #ghoap teen au #also obviously its like... horror too since a big part is killing Simons dad #onto actual tags. love filings my posts #mw2 2022 #cod modern warfare #call of duty mw2 #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #ghostsoap #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #alejandro vargas #rudolfo parra #valeria garza #gary roach sanderson #cod mwiii #soap mw2 #cod mwii #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare #ghost comics

[pumpkinsy0]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING PUMPKINSY0!!!💌

In honor of the THANKSGIVING DAY!!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

How about headconnons....

Of the whole gang + the Shepards & Buck celebrating Thanksgiving!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

I thought it would be funny and cute that their celebrating it all together 🎀❗♦♥📿🐞🌹🍒🌶🍷🚨🌡🎈🎴🪀📣☎🔖

ALSO THOUGHT WOULD BE FUNNY IF DARRY PUTS DALLY IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY [BUT DALLY'S DUMBASS BRINGS A ALIVE TURKEY INSTEAD OF A DEAD TURKEY😂] TAKE YOUR TIME NO RUSH THANK YOU 🙏🏻

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

thank u!!! im not the biggest fan of thanksgiving, my mom loves it tho and so does my family so ill just base these hcs off of em

ALRIGHT SO

•the shepards!!! tims in charge of food, so hes just making haitian food cause thats like the only food he knows how to rlly make

•diri jon jon, lambi, crabs, shrimp, du riz au lait, etc etc rlly a lot of rice and sea food w one dessert

•hes been up literalally all day and night cooking god bless his soul, he did take a small break tho so its all ok

•curly aint the biggest of helpers, he doesnt rlly like thanksgiving like that but tims goin through all the trouble so might as well do somethin so hes not mad later on

•angela’s actually an angel, shes helping cut the lambi and peel and cut the shrimp what a great help in the kitchen

•the shepards r a black haitian family ik they also makin mac and cheese, BAKED☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 mac n cheese

•meanwhile darry is cooking but not rlly, hes only handling the cranberry sauce n shit

•pony n soda r in charge of baking shit cause that’s genuinely what they’re pretty good at, and i say that a bit hesitantly bc the cookies were a lil burnt, had a lil aftertaste to em, so if they hear a “WHO MADE THE COOKIES🗣️” they silent

•buck is also making some trinidadian food!! now im not too well versed of trinidadian food so it could literally just b whatever trinidadian food u can possible think of

•EVERYONE ELSE??? just bring drinks or somethin

•dally and two bit of course brought the alcohol while everyone else just like, brought apple juice or orange juice, money dont grow on trees

•at the actual celebration they actually do play music!!! mostly caribbean BUT ALSO from other places as well!! they do not care whats on the speaker as long as its good

•ppl even brought dates!!! two bit brought marcia (she invited cheery but yknow sherry didnt wanna leave her fam), dally brought sylvia (ill get to that in a sec), and curly TECHNICALLY brought pony bit not rlly cause they were already going to the celebration so

•sylvia is ALSO haitian but shes more of a baker so she brought haitian cake, kremas, some coconut centered dish and flan 😋😋

•PERHAPS curly, pony, angela, sylvia, dally, and maybe johnny go on THAT ‘walk’ and curly comes back faded before everyone even gets their food, what a loser (i love him), angela and pony got a BIT faded but theyre alright they can generally hide it well, johnny was just there bc pony was there what a great bff xoxo

•dally saw pony gettin a lil high n went “u smoke🤨🤨🤨” but didnt tell darry or soda cause hes not a snitch he already got other things to deal w

•im not even gonna lie to to there’s probably a grown up table where darry, tim, and buck hang out and theres a “indescribable but alive” things table where everyone else is

•SURPRISINGLY NOTHING CRAZY HAPPENED, they were all chattin it up, chillin, no drama no nun, just friends, how great for em!!

•two bit and marcia were dancing most of the time

•steve wasnt rlly doin much he was just secretly making plates to take right tf back home so he dont gotta worry about what hes gonna eat the next few days

•darry actually knocked right tf out after eating so things got a BIT more unhinged but not too bad cause he needs his beauty sleep bad

•pony and curly actually ALSO wasnt doin anythin, rlly they were just in a lil corner talking, they were too full and tires to b doin allat and in curlys case a lil too tipsy cause he was drinking rum, perhaps stolen kisses were shared perhaps not, but who am i to judge

•the ONLY ones who werent being fucking calm was sylvia and dally what a shocker there🙄🙄 but rlly it was only small jabs here n there and even then they werent rlly serious thats just kinda how they do affection, god bless their souls

im doin this in the midst if my family blasting music and doin god knows what so if this isnt what u wanted im srry everythings so loud</33

#sodapop curtis #johnny cade #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #curly shepard #ponyboy curtis #purly #two bit mathews #steve randle #darry curtis #darrel curtis #dallas winston #marcia the outsiders #the outsiders sylvia

[doomsdaydicecascader]

hey, could you go into more detail with what you mean with ‘being precious’ with characters. im curious and i like your writing a lot <3

i think it's difficult to express without it reading as just "mary sue" critique, you know. tvtropes bullshit. but it is kind of a thing that occupies the same space. and atop that, it's a thing that's a little bit difficult to express without context but i think there are three pretty meaningful examples of a character being made worse by the author from which you are smart enough to discern what i mean

the thing which ties them together is this: you are meant to come out of their story with an affection for the character that rivals the author's care for them - the author wants you to feel as much for this character as they do, but is afraid of portraying the character in flawed or even grounded ways, when the character's flaws or ways in which they are a grounded character tend to be what makes them relateable or worth caring about.

example number one is albus dumbledore. the end of harry potter is genuinely one of the worst things i've ever read, even before the terf shit, and this is best expressed through the way characters around him act - he is always right, except when he's wrong, but the ways in which he's wrong are okay because the character archetype that he turns out to be in the last book before he dies is "guy who makes the hard decisions because nobody else will", winston churchill guy. and naturally, jk rowling adores him so much that she made him the protagonist of her flop three-movie pentology even though there was a better protagonist right there with newt. he is a character who is thoroughly adored by the author in a way that ruins the story.

example number two is johnny, from the room. tommy wiseau is by no means a great artist, but i think a lot of people resent analyzing the room as art because it is so obviously bad and i think that takes away from its most compelling fact. johnny is characterized as too good for this world, as though the world itself was closing in on him, ready to take him out. his future wife is cheating with his best friend, lying about him being an abuser to her friends, his boss doesnt give him his promotion for no reason, his mother in law would put aside her cancer diagnosis to further tear apart her daughters marriage, and through this, johnny does nothing wrong. he was always too good for this sinful world. he is a character who is thoroughly adored by the author in a way that ruins the story.

example number three, as mentioned in that last ask, is lin manuel miranda's portrayal of alexander hamilton, which kind of combines the both of the previous examples. throughout hamilton, alexander hamilton is repeatedly portrayed as a tortured artist, a guy who writes like he's running out of time, a guy whose writing is so powerful that he could have meaningfully changed the world, if he were not also, a dipshit idiot who got shot in a duel. and hamilton is interesting, because the story itself bends over backwards to imagine new outs for him. when his wife, who is so upset by his actions that she exempts herself from being in the writings from which hamilton was based, something i am to believe is made up whole cloth for hamilton, the story itself goes out of its way to say "what if the stuff that his wife destroyed would have redeemed him" when the answer is, probably not, he was a shithead, but lin manuel miranda can't help but ask, "what if hamilton was actually just like me fr, a misunderstood dude who just wanted to make great art", he is a character who is thoroughly adored by the author in a way that ruins the story.

i dont really want to use the term "mary sue" or whatever because it is pretty loaded, and honestly, if the story you're telling justifies this feeling, i tend to really enjoy characters who really are just flawless, characters who the authors love and want you to love too. but theyre character studies - half blood prince and deathly hallows are almost entirely about dumbledore and his relationship to the cast, and it's the worst shit i've ever read. the room would be so unbelievably forgettable without johnny. and hamilton is hamilton.

and its the kind of thing i found myself prone to doing too - that kind of feverish, "he would not fucking say that" behavior about a character who would definitely, absolutely do that. i felt this way for a while about jane in post-canon, and i still kind of think post-canon jane deserved a better arc, to make a tragedy out of her existence, but that is a desire i have because i care a lot about jane crocker, you know?

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Hmm shared reality au for the 5 hcs thing? Obsessed w this au

Thank you for the ask!!!

According to Kuron, he was born without his right arm while Shiro lost his in the "car crash", so sometimes he jokes about how Shiro stole his thing, or how they match. Shiro used to laugh at this but now he kinda just stares with a thousand yard stare

Lance doesnt know his own name and often introduces themself as "John/Jane/Johnnie Doe", you know the name police give to unidentified murder victims? Lance thinks she's funny

The person who killed Lance is still out there and for now his motivation is to Deal with that murderer either with the help of law or against law

Allura's mom will tell you that Allura was very into photography and she's getting back into it. Though she doesnt know it is for different reasons

Allura's also developed taste for extremely sugary sweet food

#empty answers #Thank you for asking!! #stolen identity au #ask meme

[jessisajackass]

Hc idea: crew member reader being recruited for jackass, and what made the boys decide you should join the show individually?

jackass hc's!

thank you for requesting! <3

this was kinda hard to write because i really had to sit down and think (i even used my friend for help, thank u ry lol <3), but it was fun to write too! i'm sorry if it's bad/not exactly what u hoped for but i hope u enjoy it anyways!

i also decided to do more members than last time, but it still might be a bit short. anyways, lets get into it!

johnny knoxville

your pain tolerance

like i’ve said before, i feel like knox is more of a “walk it off” type of guy, so when he sees how you can just deal with pain, i think he’d be impressed!

hes also like…the boss of everything tbh so even if he liked u a lot and everybody else was meh, you’d get the part LMAO

i could def. see some duo skits with absolutely crazy things since you both deal so well with pain LMFAOO

bam margera

he’s known you from the past

OKAY LISTEN

IMAGINE YALL SKATED TOGETHER IN LIKE 00-03 ISH

AHHHHHH

and hes all talking big game all like “oh yeah i know this one amazing chick”

and they’re (the boys) r all skeptical like “hmmm :|” but hes PERSISTENT.

“no no fr shes funny she can do anything shes good at skating” LMAOO CUTEEE

steve-o

your willingness to do things

okay like imagine this

u walk into the audition or whatever and they make u do any stunt from previous jackass media, and ur like “cool great” AND THEN DO THE GOLDFISH STUNT?!?! (pls go see that if u havent)

STEVE-O WOULD BE BAFFLED LMFAOOO

he’d legit just be like “holy shit dude”

IN THAT RASPY VOICE PLSSSSKSJSHFBRJENW

anyways…he’d just be so shocked and like would talk to the other guys “omg we gotta get this person on here”

would even try to get u on wildboyz maybe ;P

chris pontius

your looks

this is maybe my weakest point but let me explain

pontius see pretty person

pontius like pretty person

pontius want pretty person on show

(you are very good looking)

LMAOOO IDK I THINK IT WOULD WORK

esp since u look so good u could do like party boy stuff AHAHAHAHAH

2 devils in california >:) OMFGGG

ryan dunn

your overall personality/friendliness/boldness

I GOTTA EXPLAIN THIS ONE OK OK

so basically i think like ryan is so super chill right and he just is always kinda being dragged around right

so i think he would like someone like bam! that is bold yet kinda friendly (of course ur friendler than bam LMAO) and would be a big help on the cast

i think ryan would just want someone that could entertain him tbh LMAOOO

i just think he’d be super chill with anybody, like a “if everybodys happy then im happy” situation LOL

dave england

your patience/responses

i feel like in some skits dave is always like “is that good? yeah?”

so like maybe at first hes a little iffy on if he wants u around

but then you’re always like “that was hilarious!” or “that was so awesome!” and he appreciates it!

i think it would make him like u more teehee

danger ehren

your knowledge of painful things/dangerous acts

okay since he is “danger ehren” of course

i think if you were always there being caring, he would love it and really want you on the cast

you’re always standing by with medical equipment IM SOOOOOO NFEJWQJK

i can even imagine at some points ur like “nuh uh ur not doing that” and hes panicking cuz he doesnt know if he should or not

CUTEEE ISH <3 :P

#jackass #jackass headcanons #bam margera #ryan dunn #danger ehren #dave england #steve-o #chris pontius #johnny knoxville

[totentnz]

a little something for the AU @bishicat and me have been fucking around with. essentially everything is the same but my v (viper) gets to be unhinged and without a brainworm, making viv's life just a bit more chaotic lmao enjoy!

"i'm not a chair jockey, viv." viper was clearly annoyed at the request for help with this gig. "coulda told me before what you were up to, woulda joined ya." there was a pop up in viv's user interface; access requested. johnny popped into her vision now. "don't."

it had only been a few days since v crawled from the wreck that was the arasaka tower gig and he had watched her stumble and fuck up for long enough. when he said he didnt want her dead anymore, he was telling the truth: he needed her to fix his past mistakes and she wouldnt be able to do any of it with the way things were going right now. she lost all her implants and was now living the life she had given so much to avoid. it was a fucked up stitch and he felt for her, perhaps he even appreciated her unwillingness to lie down with the fallen. they had to get through this together and two heads were better than one, especially if one was filled with hot air and pipe dreams, johnny thought.

he was sitting on a barrel next to her. though she didn't reply to him and her hesitation meant she was willing to hear him out. "don't trust the chick." he lit one of his cigarettes and took a drag. "sides, shouldn't allow any runner into ya system." he watched her, tried to grasp what was going on in her thoughts, was curious to see if she would give his words the time of day, see if she would even consider if what he was saying was true. "she's not any runner though. i trust her." the engram rolled his eyes and adjusted his position to face v. "clearly ya do but that don't mean you should." johnny was getting agitated now, how could she be so blind? within a year she was betrayed twice: first by saka, then by dex and yet she would still a person so blindly; a person going by viper of all things.

"what the fuck are you talking about? you --" their conversation was interrupted by the voice on the holo. "viv? c'mon you said this was time sensitive." this interruption pissed him off even more. she was so full of herself, thought her time was so precious, on her netrunner high horse. "sorry, giving you acess now." viv finally said and johnny would've held his breath if he had any. this could be the end, he was given a second chance at life and it would all end so quickly just because he had to wake up in a gullible gonk's skull. however, nothing did happen, yet.

"a'ight. look up for me, find a camera." viper instructed, the tone in her voice was a bit too playful however. "why are all netrunners fuckin weirdos, control freaks?" he wondered. johnny wasnt surprised when viv looked around like she was told to; what a great employee, following orders without questions.

soon multiple icons depicting a snake bearing it's fangs popped up all around her vision, meaning viper was hacking away already. it was all so fast these days, she didnt even need to be present, didnt need to be physically jacked into any port to fuck with the system. it freaked him out though v being completely unphased by it was somehow worse.

"your funeral." johnny jumped down from the barrel he sat on just to appear on one of the catwalks in the factory a few feet in the air. "you've seen my memories, you know her as well as i do! you know she can be trusted!" viv argued. "yeah, that's what worries me. how long's it been since the two of ya last spoke? 4 years? more? an' she hasnt changed a bit? 's just ready to help ya? pick up exactly where ya left off? after you abandoned her for a corp? doesnt seem likely to me." he paraded, walking up and down the metal walkway, erratically taking a drag from his cigarette after each question. "it's called friendship, johnny, know ya dont trust nobody. doesnt mean i have to." viv ducked behind one of the barrels to hide from the patrol that was making their way back into the hangar and johnny threw the cigarette bud down at them.

"place should be your playground now. doors unlocked, cameras on loop, turrets shut down." there it was again, that chick really thought she was the best runner there is, ridiculous. he was itching to give her a piece of his mind, another downside of not having vocal chords of his own.

"thanks val, owe ya one." viv replied with a smile and johnny stretched out his arms, letting himself fall off the catwalk. "on my way over there now. how're ya doin this?"

johnny appeared right in front of v now, if he had a smell she would be able to make out the cigarettes and tequila from nights past. "ya think saka just let you go? ya think they didnt send someone? after ya stole from them?" it was clear to him: arasaka would never let him go and this was the oldest trick in the book. step one: find someone from your past. step two: replace them or start to control them. step three: you are now under constant surveillance and soon they will control you too. his mind was racing now and he once again wondered how she was unable to see it.

"oh, for fuck's-- think she's a sleeper cell? sent to take me out, soon as i spill some corp secrets?" v's dismissive tone only strenghthened his belief that their friendship was an elaborate con to get to him. it had to be. "clearly your gonk ass still doesnt know what saka is capable of."

"bitch! quit talkin' to ya fuckin' hallucination!" viper yelled from the holo. v just had to tell her so called friend about their sitch huh? and viper was all too eager to believe it. sure it was true but who would believe any of this? someone who is supposed to believe it, gain her trust, clearly.

"plan 's to do this silent." v used to be good at it, doing things quietly, but now without her implants and no eddies to buy new ones things had proven to be more difficult, much to both of their frustration. only reason she called up viper for help was due to her not being able to efficently hack her way into this.

"gotcha, will stay on the call, keep me updated, yeah?" something would go south, it was just their shit luck and even if it didn't happen naturally, the runner had everything she needed to put v into an even bigger debt. "i smell a rat v." johnny said, finally disappearing for good.

#sammy says shit #sammy writes shit #johnny thinks the whole world revolves around him #as we know and love him #p; townie #au: everybody wants to rule the world #oc:v

[crazyf0rswayze]

Johnny x Tae: Parents Pt7

Warnings: violence/fighting, kisses with no consent, mentions of scars

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tae let out a yelp as she was dragged back into the ally way, and Johnny ran back to help her, but Randy stopped him

"We know you just doin' this to impress the broad" Randy said with a chuckle

"So just back off..." Randy continued

"U-unlike you i-i actually care. I don't d-do shit just to impress people" Johnny said

"B-b-b-b-but" Randy said mocking Johnny's stuttering

"God you sound like a helpless little kid, oh wait...you are one. BAHAHAHAHA" Randy laughed out

Johnny backed away as if to leave, and as soon as Randy and the other guys left their guard down, he ran up to punch him....but stopped in his tracks. Tae was....was kissing Bob... No...no HE was forcing himself on her. Tae was struggling to get out of Bob's grasp, and Johnny was struggling to get out of Randy's. Randy wasn't just holding him back, he was making Johnny watch what Bob was doing to her.

"JOHNNY....HELP" Tae yelled out between forceful kisses

"Get. Off. Of...me" Tae said between Bob's forceful kisses. She was pushing and punching to get out of Bob's grasp

"God, your so hot when you all worked up" Bob said before pushing her against a wall. He wrapped her legs around his waist forcefully...he wasn't gonna....do anything to her...was he? He wouldn't....

Just then Johnny got out of Randy's grasp and pushed Bob to the ground, punching him, and digging his short nails into the socs skin.

"DONT YOU EVER MAKE A LADY DO WHAT SHE DOESNT WANNA! AND SHES MINE YOU ASSHOLE! SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR KIND" Johnny screamed out in anger as he beat the tar outta Bob.

"My kind huh? Well what's my kind" Bob said flipping the positions so he was on top of Johnny punching into his face, clearly aiming at his scar because that's where it would likely hurt most. Johnny winced in pain before flipping Bob to the ground again.

"You wanna know what your kind is? Really? It's white trash with mustangs and madras" Johnny said before throwing a final punch and standing up. Bob was bleeding a little, but it was payback for that tuff scar he left on Johnny's face. Speaking of which, around his scar was bleeding because of how Bob aimed at it.

"C'mon, let's go back to Darry's and get you cleaned up" Tae said walking out of the ally. Once that were far enough away Johnny turned directly facing Tae.

"Are you ok? Did Bob hurt you, or touch you anywhere where you shouldn't be touched? He didn't punch you, or pull a blade right? Y-your ok???" Johnny asked surveying Tae's body to make sure she was ok.

'He looked kinda cute when he was worried about me' Tae thought.

"I'm ok Johnnycakes...he...he didnt touch me, he didnt pull a blade, he didnt punch me" Tae confirmed

"Ok...th-thats good." Johnny said as Tae reached over to hold his hand.

"Come on hun, let's get you all cleaned up" Tae said as the couple continued to walk to the Curtis house. As they arrived they went straight to the bathroom.

"Second time this week we're cleaning each other up from a fight" Tae chuckled

"Yea..." Johnny said

"Hey...you ok?" Tae asked, sensing something was wrong

"Did that kiss from Bob mean anything to you?" Johnny asked with worried eyes.

"God no! He...he's and asshole, and the kisses really hurt me. Like....physically he was so rough and I hated it. They meant nothing good, they only meant to prove he's a douche bag" Tae explained

"Mmmhhmm...maybe this will help them feel better?" Johnny said courageously as he leaded down from his sitting position on the vanity to kiss Tae's lips softly.

"Mmmhhmmm" Tae lightly moaned into the kiss. It turned into a makeout session. It didnt go further, but the couple enjoyed having each other's lips connected. It felt loving!

"Johnny..." Tae whispered

"D-did I do something wrong?" He said pulling away from Tae's face

"No...but if we spend much more time in her everyone's gonna question us, and I still have to clean you up" Tae explained softly

"Uuhhhggg. Ok." Johnny said. Tae laughed a little, she could tell he was loving the kiss.

Tae continued to clean up Johnny's face, and when they finished they walked out holding hands.

"Tae...im really sorry about the bet. I shouldn't have even made it, and I shouldn't have made it a big deal that I won." Dallas apologized

Tae just looked at Johnny with a look of question basically asking 'is he saying sorry on his own or did you make him'. Johnny shrugged and sat down in the couch

"Uh...i-its ok Dal" Tae said before sitting beside Johnny and cuddling up next to him. Pretty much the whole gang looked at them. Really the only people who knew were Darry, Two-bit, and Dallas.

"W-what? I-i can't cuddle my boyfriend" Tae asked everyone shyly

"BOYFRIEND???" Sodapop and Ponyboy yelled out at the same time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt 8?

#johnny cade #the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #kisses

[meatriarchived]

thinking in between matches about maria & ana's thoughts on their father + the broadcasts, him finally showing face around again only when one of his daughters' have literally gone missing.

how pre-house, maria was always open to the idea of him returning to their lives, in some manner. for visits, to keep that promise - literally anything, pre-house she would have been so much more forgiving, in spite of the hurt he caused, in spite of how many times she had kept up hope to a younger ana and herself that he was going to keep that promise, that he was going to call, that he would show up to their birthdays, to holidays. and even when she had to bite down on lip to stop herself from crying every single time he never showed, never called, she had still turned to ana with a smile and tried to paint him in positive light.

ana, on the other end, saw through the smiles, saw through the optimism, and she hated how hurt maria was. and she hated how hurt their mom was. she remembers hearing them both, on opposite ends of the house, crying in their rooms. she remembers watching maria sit on the couch beside the landline, eagerly waiting time and time again for a call they all knew wasn't going to come through. how every time it didnt, maria would look to her, smiling, and make up excuse for him forgetting they existed. and ana knows she always meant well, and she doesnt blame her for it - but it upsets her, still, how hopeful maria was that he'd ever keep that promise.

after maria goes missing, gets taken, ana is frankly stunned when ramon appears on their doorstep. and she's angry. she realizes their mom is the one who made sure he found out what was going on, that she insisted on him coming to try and help. ana does not trust him, and she lets him know so in no uncertain terms how unwanted he is to be there - but frankly, they need the extra eyes and ears and hands to look for her sister, and that's all he better be there to do.

its very tense with them under the same roof again, and when ana and carmen (mama flores) are asked by the sheriffs to put out statements to be broadcast out, ana's frustration only grows when she realizes that ramon has been asked to do the same; angered at him talking about his daughter, as if he had any right to claim to be a father to them anymore, to claim he misses her, that he wants her home safely. she bites back vitriol then - but she lets him know, later that night before taking off to his motel to sleep, that he lost that privilege long ago, when he walked out on them in favor of his girlfriend.

in maria's case, down in her cell below johnny's shack, being made to listen to the search broadcasts daily - nightly routine, almost ritualistic - its so strange, so unnerving, listening to people speak of you in terms of your fate being unknown;

is she alive? is she dead? did she just skip town? what truly happened to maria flores?

to then one night, after hearing unfamiliar voices speak her name, speculate on her whereabouts, go on and on and on about how theres been no leads, no clear evidence, no signs of struggle or foul play - phrases that earn the damned radio a tearful glare from her; they've no idea what happened that evening;

to then hear three. distinct, etched into memory.

of her mother, who could barely speak without choking on words, on sobs. begging, pleading, for her little girl to be brought home safe, alive, to please let her go, let her come back to us, before devolving past the static into a sobbing mess.

of ana, whose voice trembled - both in anger, and in effort to not cry as well - who demanded people to come forward with anything, that surely someone must have seen something, heard something, know something. that her sister doesnt deserve whatever has happened, that she was good and kind and sweet, and to whoever may have her, to let her come home, safe and alive. she bites tongue not to call them a coward for going after her sister.

and then, theres the third. unexpected. stirs a cold bitterness in maria, huddled close to wall on the ground of the cell. when ramon's voice comes through the static, theres an anger that bubbles in her, exasperation, hurt.

it took me going missing for you to show up again?

his voice muddies between the static, between the sound of carved wood, and vision blurs with tears, biting hard down on lip, on inside of cheeks, as his voice drones on, and on, and on...

until she cant stand the sound. until she lets out a sob. until she begs the man, watching silently beside the radio, to just turn the fucking thing off-

#we are a Hate Ramon household here. its the audacity. ana was SO angry. and maria was SO HURT that it took *this* to happen #for him to make any attempt to show he “cared” in any capacity. #[ af ] ── * 𝐇𝐂 / 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. { ana. } #[ mf ] ── * 𝐇𝐂 / 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. { maria. }

[meatriarch]

thinking about maria & ana's thoughts on ramon flores ( their father ) + the broadcasts, him finally showing face around again only when one of his daughters' have literally gone missing.

how pre-house, maria was always open to the idea of him returning to their lives, in some manner. for visits, to keep that promise - literally anything, pre-house she would have been so much more forgiving, in spite of the hurt he caused, in spite of how many times she had kept up hope to a younger ana and herself that he was going to keep that promise, that he was going to call, that he would show up to their birthdays, to holidays. and even when she had to bite down on lip to stop herself from crying every single time he never showed, never called, she had still turned to ana with a smile and tried to paint him in positive light.

ana, on the other end, saw through the smiles, saw through the optimism, and she hated how hurt maria was. and she hated how hurt their mama was. she remembers hearing them both, on opposite ends of the house, crying in their rooms. she remembers watching maria sit on the couch beside the landline, eagerly waiting time and time again for a call they all knew wasn't going to come through. how every time it didnt, maria would look to her, smiling, and make up reason for him forgetting they existed. and ana knows she always meant well, and she doesnt blame her for it - but it upsets her, still, how hopeful maria was that he'd ever keep that promise.

after maria goes missing, gets taken, ana is frankly stunned when ramon appears on their doorstep. and she's angry. she realizes their mom is the one who made sure he found out what was going on, that she insisted on him coming to try and help. ana does not trust him, and she lets him know so in no uncertain terms how unwanted he is to be there - but frankly, they need the extra eyes and ears and hands to look for her sister, and that's all he better be there to do.

its very tense with them under the same roof again, and when ana and carmen ( mama flores ) are asked by the sheriffs to put out statements to be broadcast out, ana's frustration only grows when she realizes that ramon has been asked to do the same; angered at him talking about "his daughter", as if he had any right to claim to be a father to them anymore, to claim he misses her, that he wants her home safely. she bites back vitriol then - but she lets him know, later that night before taking off to his motel to sleep, that he lost that privilege long ago, when he walked out on them.

in maria's case, down in her cell below johnny's shack, being made to listen to the search broadcasts daily - nightly routine, almost ritualistic - its so strange, so unnerving, listening to people speak of you in terms of your fate being unknown;

is she alive? is she dead? did she just skip town? what truly happened to maria flores?

to then one night, after hearing unfamiliar voices speak her name, speculate on her whereabouts, go on and on and on about how theres been no leads, no clear evidence, no signs of struggle or foul play - phrases that earn the damned radio a tearful glare from her;

( they've no idea what happened that evening she was taken- )

to then hear three. distinct, etched into memory.

of her mother, who could barely speak without choking on words, on sobs. begging, pleading, for her little girl to be brought home safe, alive, to please let her go, let her come back to us, before devolving past the static into a sobbing mess.

of ana, whose voice trembled - both in anger, and in effort to not cry as well - who demanded people to come forward with anything, that surely someone must have seen something, heard something, know something. that her sister doesnt deserve whatever has happened, that she was good and kind and sweet, and to whoever may have her, to let her come home, safe and alive.

she bites tongue not to call them A COWARD for going after her sister.

and then, theres the third. unexpected. stirs a cold bitterness in maria, huddled close to wall on the ground of the cell. when ramon's voice comes through the static, theres an anger that bubbles in her, exasperation, hurt.

it took me GOING MISSING for you to show up again?

his voice muddies between the static, between the sound of carved wood, and vision blurs with tears, biting hard down on lip, on inside of cheeks, as his voice drones on, and on, and on . . .

until she cant stand the sound. until she lets out a sob. until she begs the man, watching silently beside the radio, to just turn the fucking thing off-

#[ ♡ ] ── * the flores family. / 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦. #[ ♡ ] ── * maria f. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦. #[ ♡ ] ── * ana f. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦. #we are a Hate Ramon household here. its the audacity. ana was SO angry. and maria was SO HURT that it took *this* to happen #for him to make any attempt to show he “cared” in any capacity. #[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * queue.