#she's just a kid man leave her alone

[radiocrypt-id]

I got- I can't!

Imagine being 15, you've grown up your whole life with this one belief in this one God and you were told you were Chosen by Him, for Him. And you're 15. You believe so fully in the spirit of your religion, not necessarily the word, that you want to go to a non-religious school to try and help other kids maybe find your God because you genuinely believe that could be helpful to some of them, because it's all you know, and it's helped other strangers (human trafficking victims she helped in the black pit before) so why not other kids her age? You're 15 and all you can think about is helping others. And you start thinking about your religion, and reading books, and asking questions and you come to the conclusion that maybe your God and His Father aren't actually all that great. Maybe the church you're in has done some really bad things that you can't possibly make up for. Maybe that church is still doing bad things. And then you find out your family is actually in a cult for that God, not just part of the normal church, and you suddenly have to undo all the cult shit in your brain you were raised with, while that cult stuff you know about is actually useful to your friends, like having that knowledge is helpful for them! You're 15 and you stop going home. You have no real adult supervision or carer, just your other 15 year old friends.

Imagine you're 16, you're gay and figuring that out on top of navigating your first full romantic relationship and being the sole creator and cleric to a new God that you honestly find to be very two dimensional and empty. You're on a quest to find an evil being and stop them. You nearly die. Your friends nearly die. You're 16. You're 16 and feel something calling out to you, you know it's divine because you've felt that sort of pull before, but you've never felt one like this. You find memories and hints and pieces and you figure out that the evil being you have to stop, isn't evil, she's just hurting. She's hurt and She's a God. She's your God, and she's so happy to see you, and she has so many ideas, and so many hopes.

You're 17. You've spent your rest time (summer vacation) tearing across the world chasing down and defeating another evil thing that you and your friends accidentally released in the first place. Your God is with you, you have no time for Her. No time for anything but trying to survive and stay sane. You know She's disappointed in you, but you're one person -ONE PERSON- and you're 17. You missed your birthday. again. You've saved the world; again. You're so fucking tired -like always. You're Chosen, and alone, and have no idea what to do with your life, let alone your God. You aren't very good at school, but you go to every class. You're drowning as you try to rewrite your understanding of the world from what you grew up with, having no idea how to do anything without a book and godly hand to guide you. You only ever followed before, your new God is demanding you Lead. You don't know how. You're only 17. You see your horrible, abusive parents spitting abuse and racist rhetoric at your baby brother, who you haven't seen in two years, on the front steps to your school and for the first time ever you are filled with righteous fury. Your God answers your call, not knowing what you need but so eager to help, eager for your attention, she starts talking to you but you're busy -why can't she understand that you're fucking busy? trying to not die, trying to be safe, trying to keep your friends alive, trying to navigate a world that hates you, you're 17 and you're busy goddammit just wait!- and she snaps back at you and flees. The next time you see Her, maybe an hour later, She's got a creature with Her that nearly destroyed you and your friends last year sitting in her lap, so smug to see you again.

You're 17- no, 16- no, 15 years old and you're expected to build and carry the world on your shoulders, Chosen from birth, raised a lamb to follow a Shepard, not to be followed behind. You have no one and nothing and everyone expects everything and you can't back up, you can't pause because if you do someone dies and doesn't come back. You have to be a hero, a chosen, a saint. The steps behind you crumble to dust with each step you take forward and the new one is already cracking under your weight. There are only wrong choices. There's no hand reaching for you. God, you were taught, will save and guide you. God knows best. Why is your God looking to you, a mortal human, to be saved, raised and guided? You're a child.

You're just a child.

You just want to go home, wherever that is. You thought it was your God, but She's not exactly helping you out either, is She? She's just disappointed. Like everyone else. Like you.

You're 17. You think it would have been better to never do any of this. It would have been easier to stay, blind and naive. Sometimes you think you should have stayed in heaven. Sometimes you think about the God you killed by not being good enough for it. Sometimes you lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling and pretend you don't exist for awhile. Sometimes you work your body so hard you forget it's there and your mind shuts up and you exist without being you. Sometimes you wish you never asked any questions or read any books. You're 17, but sometimes you wish you were 15, with no idea yet.

You're 17. You wish you were good enough.

#dimension 20 #kristen applebees #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #d20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 fhjy #dimension 20 fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 spoilers #words #can you tell my religious trauma is popping off? #I have big feelings about kristen #she's just a kid man leave her alone #it's not fair for a god to expect a child to be able to perform what many adults do over many years in just the span of a few months #yeah it's not fair cassandra has had the lot of getting a child for her only cleric but like #she reached out to and accepted kristen! she the God here! it's like when a grown adult expects a toddler to know to not run into a road #without being taught. that's a baby #she's gonna run into the road many times until someone takes her hand and kindly teaches her to not #kristen litterally needs some kinda reliable help. she knows there's something wrong and that she's fucking it up she just literally doesn' #know how to fix it! someone help her!!! #fantasy high

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

[everysongineverykey]

i love toriel so much in both undertale and deltarune though she has her flaws and she isn't great at communication or taking care of herself she is trying SO hard and she does everything out of care for others. she left the throne to protect other humans that fell down she fought frisk because she was scared for them she came back to save frisk from asgore because she realized she couldn't let them kill him even after everything he'd done. her compassion and strong sense of right and wrong is CENTRAL to her character and if you genuinely believe she's as bad as or worse than asgore then uhhh. i mean i'm not gonna tell you not to interact but like keep that shit to yourself💙

#replayed chapter 2 last night and man!! man! #she knows susie's reputation and she probably knows she's a bully #BUT SHE DOESN'T ACT COLD TO HER LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! #SHE INVITES HER IN TO MAKE PIE WITH HER AND THEN SHE INVITES HER TO STAY OVER #BECAUSE SHE SAW SOMEONE PROWLING AROUND OUTSIDE AND WORRIES ABOUT SUSIE'S SAFETY #IF SHE GOES HOME ALONE IN THE DARK! #SHE DOESN'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE WHAT SHE'S HEARD ABOUT SUSIE! #ALL SHE SAYS TO KRIS IS 'leave the chalk alone!' WITH A GIGGLE #BECAUSE SHE SEES THAT KRIS TRUSTS HER! AND THAT SHE'S THEIR FRIEND! #AND SHE TRUSTS KRIS' JUDGMENT! SHE TREATS THEIR FRIENDS WELL #BECAUSE SHE'S GENUINELY HAPPY THAT THEY'RE FINALLY CONNECTING WITH KIDS THEIR AGE #AND SO SHE GIVES SUSIE A CHANCE AND DOESN'T JUDGE HER AT ALL #AND SHE FINDS SHE LIKES SUSIE VERY MUCH! THEY MAKE PUNS TOGETHER. THEY MAKE PUNS TOGETHER!!! #and you can see the effect it has on susie too!! she clearly respects toriel and knows her somehow (unclear how) #and toriel's just invited her into her house! her friend's mum! has invited her over for pie! #so her whole attitude changes! she stops slouching all of a sudden! she tries not to swear! #except she doesn't even need to do that! because toriel's cool with all that! and susie finds that she can relax around her!!! #and they make puns together. they make puns together. i'm sorry that's SO important to me. #susie apparently likes puns. she likes puns. you'd expect her character archetype to roll her eyes at them #but she doesn't. there's no hint of annoyance at the 'snoozie' pun. just a laugh. #and then she immediately counters with snoriel! i love!! i adore!!! #susie's comfortable around her! comfortable enough to spend the night at her house with kris! she falls asleep immediately! #granted susie must be a pretty tired kid what with the eyebags and all but still! #wow man. wow. i adore toriel💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[iwasbored777]

When Jessica's apologists hate on Gwen it's hilarious cuz if there's one person Jessica owes an apology to it's literally Gwen

#i wouldn't tell my protégé to drop everything from her personal life for my team and then tell my leader to kick her out of the team #i would either stand by her and defend her or i would tell her to just go find her boyfriend and be happy cuz she's already homeless and #deserves to be happy for once and have someone anyone #i understand if you defend jess but saying that gwen doesn't deserve forgiveness while jess does are you kidding me #gwen didn't have a choice unlike everyone else including jessica #not gonna tag her bc i don't want arguments i just needed to say this #gwen stacy #spider man across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #gwen deserved so much better than this #leave her alone

[dylanconrique]

so my mom's been dating this guy who's birthday is LITERALLY the day after mine, and my birthday lands on a saturday this year and she wants to leave on my birthday to go see her boyfriend and celebrate his birthday. make it make sense.

#*carly catalogs #*personal #good to know where her priorities lie 👍 #i fucking hate this man i've hated him from the moment she met him like... 3yrs ago #and i really hate her rn too who just fucking leaves their kid on THEIR BIRTHDAY????????? #i have no irl friends to celebrate with so i'll be completely and 100% alone #which normally i don't mind cause i enjoy my alone time #but i've spent pm the past 3-4yrs celebrating by myself #it'd just be nice to spend it with someone else even if that one someone else is my mom #god i love her but i also really can't stand her it's such a double ended sword #tbd #sorry she just mentioned this and it severely triggered me cause she is my best friend but also my worst enemy

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok yakuza 6 spoilers and not a very insightful post but every time i remember how young haruka is when she has haruto i get sooo nervous lol. she's like NINETEEN. what the FUCKK

#i know conceptually that ppl have kids that young but.woah #i guess it didnt happen a lot in the ppl i went to school with/i didnt pay that much attention to it/stigma led to minimization of it #like she has to take care of a whole baby now. she has to be a mother and take on the kinda role kiryu had #while also kinda managing the orphanage relatively alone bc kiryu bailed. wtf wtf #idk. i think im kinda squeamish about pregnancy in general a little? but especially that young like.ough #good or bad wanted or not having a kid is a big fucking deal and it scares me a little idk. especially since haruto WAS unintentional #like whats she gonna do for a job. she probably cant do college soon (if ever) and shes probably blacklisted from showbiz entirely #so even if she wanted to do behind the scenes work she couldnt #even with yuta's help it'd be a stretch. and then theres rhe other orphans i just. hhhhh aughhhh #man taking care of a baby was hard enough for kiryu and he's like ok teenage daughter. im going hands off like WHAT #i think the ending choices of 6 are fascinating and theres a lotta reasons to criticize kiryu within that but leaving her with effectively #7 younger siblings and a baby is one i dont see talked about enough tbh #rgg #its SCARY. I'M SCARED. #im sooo fucking worried about my future and haruka's looks even more terrifying to me so it just activates shit in my brain

[the-fandom-connection]

Plagued by the horrors (shows I’m deeply invested in that are mostly really good but make deeply disappointing writing choices near the end)

#this is about wwdits s4 and also turn a gundam which I know is like 20 years old but my sibling and I have been watching it and #finished it today and aggggghhhhhhh #this is always fucking how it is #I deeply love a show. it’s not perfect but it’s compelling and well-written enough in the good parts to pull it through. #the finale writing choices literally keep me up at night thinking how I could fix them but can’t. #same with ds9. man I just…….. #I cannot abide by them leaving sisko in the wormhole. that’s fucked up. Julian should have gone to cardassia. it would have been full circle #‘frontier medicine’ but having learned not to be a colonizer about it. odo and Kira are both gay like so gay and they NEED to realize it to #reach their character arcs’ conclusions. thinking about quark just makes me so SAD. EZRI DOESN’T EVEN GET TO BE HER OWN PERSON. SHE’S A #YOUNG WOMAN WHO NEVER WOULD HAVE CHOSEN THIS LIFE FOR HERSELF BOUNCED BETWEEN TWO MEN LIVING IN THE ECHO OF A PAST SELF #BOTH HERSELF AND TOTALLY ALIEN TO HER. AND WITH NO SISKO TO GUIDE HER :( #garak’s fate is pretty perfect but it’s also the epitome of ‘careful what u wish for’ #and he’s all ALONE out there. #god. JAKE. JAKE AND CASSIDY!!! #and worf’s relationship with his son was butchered for no good goddamn reason. #ok hold on I’m still rlly upset about wwdits and turn a gundam. I didn’t mean for that to turn into a ds9 rant. #sometimes it’s easier to talk about something that’s not as fresh.. #I hate to even think about it but bbc m*rain was the first one that really killed me with wasted potential as a kid. #and as horribly embarrassing as it is to admit it himym. I read 100ks of words of fix-it. dark times lol. #why does this happen. why does it bother me. why don’t I just start watching movies I know the end to instead lol.. fr

[hirokiyuu]

ive been thinking abt a helio/stratos swap recently and mostly just like. the reality of a vace+rex+nomi childhood friends trio in this au is so. man

#me realizing i think vace would be essentially the pov chara for this au: MAN #stratos kids in this concept is really fun i am soooo obsessed with military sol #mama flulu in a military heavy au is so......... man #flulu who's met geranium and is doing a little better than her previous military days but she's still this decorated soldier right #and sol wants soooo bad to make her proud. so they work really hard. #not realizing flulu really hates seeing them do this. but she knows its to impress her #so it's this awful feedback loop where sol is trying so so hard to make her proud and she is! #but also they can tell she's kind of reluctant to praise them so theyre like #well obviously i just need to work harder then :/ and end up becoming one of the best younger soldiers lol #them and marz are kind of always at odds for control over the social circle i htink #they tend to win tho just bc of like...... their clout etc. but marz sometimes gets little victories just bc. U Kno. #cal is like the weird outcast on this ship lol #i think him and sol were closer as kids but his utter pacifism leaves him completely on the outside u kno #dys is a bit of an outsider too but he's more of like a #doesnt play well with others outsider rather than a Freak outsider #he does well enough in training etc that ppl leave him alone mostly i htink #he and sol are definitely Weirdly Obsessed With Each Other #also military ship engineer tang like...... lmao #to prevent gvf would be either like. actively sabotaging her i think. its a whole thing #god. thinking thinking thinking #teenexo stuff #helio sol versus military stratos sol are different concepts lol #helio sol is like. pressure from mom makes them shut down so they kind of suck #versus military stratos sol where mom doesnt have hte pressure and instead is like #someone theyre trying so hard to impress themself #so they work way harder and better #its a whole thing. fun concept #thinking constantly always

[zenyuumi]

I hate it here

#vent tag #i just want to have PRIVACY #i just took a bath and got all excited bc ''yay no ones in the bedroom rn and that means i can dress in peace ^_^'' #boy was i fucking wrong . the second i stepped into my room my grandma followed after me because she wanted to use the charger??? #the charger that we had in OUR room???? #this bitch does not give 2 shits about our privacy. she will come in like its nothing WHILE IM CHANGING #i tell her im uncomfortable and she just tells me im being too sensitive like?? is it sensitive to NOT WANT PEOPLE TO SEE YOU WITHOUT #CLOTHES ON??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME #I DO NOT CARE IF WE ARE FAMILY YOU ARE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY OWN HOME #PLEASE JUST LEAVE W THE CHARGER IF ITS WHAT YOU WANT #i was so happy abt being alone too bc it barely ever happens that i get to dress up in peace #even if i lock the door... they'll just either force it open with a key or bang on the door till i respond #i dont want to live w these people anymore man. #im getting my own room soon but i can alr imagine them doing the same thing anyway #please just leave me alone im not 8 anymore PLEASE #AND STOP USING THE ARGUMENT THAT YOU USED TO BATHE ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG!!! Im not a toddler anymore #and i get uncomfortable now #+ the fact that my grandma often comments on how chubby i am #i cant trust her anymore #im sorry if it seems like im whining like a child abt this im just in a bad mood rn :( it'll be fixed in a bit

[myhoneymydaisy]

And now I miss my ex girlfriend again. I am officially pathetic.

#we broke up because i wasnt honest with my insecurities about my body image and i toxically said #she will never love me bc im ugly and fat #which hurt her bc that showed i was toxic and shallow and an idiot #she was right to leave me for that reason and more i was an immature selfish toxic baby at age 19-20 #im side b btw #i talk about my ex a lot #i havent dated since her and i just #idk i can't get over her sometimes bc she was my best friend too and i ruined everything with my bad mental health #and not being mature n honest n taking responsibility etc etc #i hate myself for hurting her so #i still dream of her sometimes #dreaming of flying to see her #or dreaming shes married to a man with kids #im so pathetic #ima die alone yeehaw #its literally been almost 4 years since we broke up n i still cant keep her name out my mouth #i hope shes genuinely happy n doesn't remember the pain of us anymore #vent #side b Christian #side b

[ap-trash-compactor]

there are four bhaalpir babies.

first: a set of triples. horrifying! everyone is extremely concerned! *one* bhaalspawn dhampir baby would be enough, ye gods, but three????? horrifying! a disaster! this is going to be terrible for everyo -- oh. it's... fine? it's fine. it seems fine. aside from the fact that two not-too-terribly bright, slightly disorganized parents have three newborns to care for suddenly, it's fine.

and the babies seem to be growing up fine, too. they're three energetic and rambunctious boys, and like their parents before them they have at most one brain cell to spare, ever,* but they don't seem to be infected with bhaalist murder compulsions, so a few years later when baby number four comes along, no one thinks anything of it. and why should they? nothing went wrong the first time, thank the gods.

apparently, the pertinent god wanted an even number.

but it's not the babies that start acting like bhaalspawn.

it's tavia.

nightmares first. (this worries her husband, but he is a fussy nursemaid of a man who is prone to worrying and she writes it all off.)

then not wanting to see the new baby. (this worries her husband more; tavia, being staunchly opposed to any practice of self-examination, refuses to admit this is even a problem. she didn't really like the first three babies either she says so what is he fussing about. [slightly untrue -- she did like them but only when they were being cute little accessories. her husband was and is the primary parent in that house.] in any case, despite many efforts by her husband to try and foster some sort of bond between mother and child, she more or less refuses to acknowledge for several months that the baby even exists.)

then, suddenly: wanting to see the baby. and trying to feed the baby blood. (this convinces astarion that in fact she should not be permitted to see the baby after all. unfortunately, she's evolved from not wanting to see it, to not wanting to be separated from it.)

then she tries to kill it.

and then she tries to kill its father.

and that's when their friends decide it's time to kill a(nother) god.

#they have five kids but only because astarion adopts yenna #he is an excellent girldad it is his secret calling #he obviously cares about his sons but he is just. fundamentally a girldad. #*sidenote: pre-brain-damage tavia was actually extremely smart. #but she didn't like what she learned about herself as her memories came back #and she solved the dilemma by largely choosing -- as an active choice that requires effort to maintain -- to live with her brain turned off #which is maybe a little sad. but... idk man. she's allowed her coping mechanisms and her choices. she's happy. leave her alone. #anyway luckily for everyone the bhaalpir babies experience the hunger inherited from their lineage as a craving for raw fresh bloody meat #easily satisfied without breaking any laws of gods or men! #one thing goes right for the family at least lmao #their mom was already a great lover of raw organ meats #an early aspect of her romance with their dad was him bringing her fresh liver from newly killed prey #at least her kids don't have her penchant for cannibalism lol

[ontologicalparasite]

I go about my day and I try not to think about the fate of the women in my family

#overheard my mom talking about my aunt saying she (who's always loved working) didn't go to the interview she and her #were talking about when she last came over because she couldn't leave the kids alone #and the day she last came over it stuck with me how tragic it must be to have to ask her husband for money for even the smallest expenses #even if she said it in a lighthearted way it just completely stuck with me #because even without knowing the fact that shes always worked her entire life ever since ive known her #its just so undignifying to be in total economic dependence towards a man #i see it with my mom and dad everyday and whenever she talks to me about money #and everytime i want to punch my dad in the fucking face #trifles

[ambrosiagourmet]

I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.

This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.

But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.

Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:

This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.

And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.

Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.

Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.

He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.

She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.

Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.

Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.

#dunmeshi analysis #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #laios touden #dungeon meshi spoilers #AND this isn't even getting into her leaving the academy & how much it seems like that was directly tied to how poorly he was doing #there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything' #and like. do you think he feels bad for that too #like he wrecked her life by leaving #and wrecked her life by showing up #what do you even do at that point. if you feel like a failed protector when you are away & and a burden when you return #unable to make yourself accept. unable to make yourself resist #Laios strongest moment is when he lets himself accept that. the contradiction of his life & his relationship with Falin #that he has to kill her to save her #as a small note this came out a little more focused on Laios' POV with this stuff but Falin's experience of it is v important to me too #didn't mean to sideline her but her feelings about stuff are more speculative and probably need a post of their own

[dullahandyke]

i wont lie i am the type of man to look at art of sora n riku and immediately go 'wheres kairiiiiiiiiii'

#like. i wont say i dont understand why she gets so little spotlight. but You Know #like even in kh1 (the only one ive finished thus far lols) i think her interactions w the other kids r intersting!! #like juxtaposing her trying to leave riku behind vs his utter devotion to bringing her back #bcos In A Way she DOES get what she wants and she n sora are together and riku is alone. albeit in a very 'kairis inside me' way #and like obvi shes like 14 so to call her Morally Gray would be laughable at best #but i DO like that arguably one of the only character choices she makes ('hey sora lets take the raft and leave just the two of us') #is a dick move! #like u could argue even before you get to com Riku Has To Accept His Darkness And Its Not All Bad stuff #the morality attributed to both light and darkness can be seen as flawed #because of how 'dark' riku is loyal and faithful in a way that 'princess of light' kairi straight up is not #or at least doesnt reciprocate #and like man its probably meant to be read as romance stuff but that literally did not occur to me until now #where was i taking this. i dont remember #anyway i was gonna go play com but i think i might rewatch a kairi kh1 cutscene comp first #not like itll take long

[rapselsstuff]

Watching Sally Jackson as an adult is insane because as a kid, when Percy said “the best people always have the rottenest luck” I was like Yeah, her family died and that sucks, but now I’m like Actually, this woman got pregnant at like 19 and was then left by the guy, who was not just a guy but a god, knowing that the child she was left with would very likely never grow old, and ever since then she’s been pooring all of her love into this kid trying to protect him, trying to give him a normal life while preparing him for a future he might never see, scared to death and alone and stuck in an abusive marriage while unable to leave because she had to stay For Percy, and she Still Made It!!

One day she is going to see the top of the Empire State Building light up blue and she will know that her baby is safe and she will let go of a breath she’s been holding since before he was even born. She will get to lean back into the arms of a man who loves and respects her, and all the love she has been giving so fiercely for years and years will come back to her and I cant wait for this to happen.

#pjo thoughts #sally jackson #percy jackson show #percy jackson #pjo tv show

[ragingbookdragon]

It comes as somewhat a surprise when the others realize that something has obviously happened between their resident Lieutenant and Private, as she’s quick to fall silent whenever he appears, and even more so make herself scare when she can when he’s around. It’s only the third time that Soap sees it that he says something, because if he doesn’t no one else will, and where’s the fun in that?

He watches her duck her head and leave the break room, Gaz, Soap, Price, and Ghost sitting alone at the breakfast table conversing over soggy cereal and cooling tea; Soap pushes a piece of bacon on his plate and asks, “Trouble in paradise, Lt?” the corner of his mouth arches with a slight grin when he hears the warning grunt come from Ghost.

“No.”

“Seems like it,” he retorts, taking a sip of his coffee. “What’d ya do? Tell her ta fuck off?”

“Drop it, MacTavish,” Ghost warns darkly. “Nothing’s wrong.”

This time, Gaz jumps in. “C’mon, Lt., it’s obvious that something’s wrong. I mean, she won’t even look at you, let alone say anything unless you speak first.”

“An’ she’s callin’ ‘im ‘sir.’” Soap adds, pointing at him. “Christ, Lt., ya musta done a number on ‘er. Poor Puffin. So sweet and kind. Broke ‘er heart ya did.”

Price can tell that Ghost is close to snapping at the both of them but gets to it before he does. “Soap, Gaz, go catalogue our inventory for the mission next week.”

“Aw, but we already d—” Soap falls silent when Price shoots him a look and quietly grumbles to himself as he grabs his plate and cup, Gaz following in suit.

It’s only until the two soldiers are alone that Price asks, “What did happen, Simon?”

Ghost lets out a long sigh and rolls his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Pretty much told ‘er to fuck off.”

Price watches quietly as Ghost begins rattling to himself—he’s never really had to ask the man to explain himself. All he’s gotta do is prompt him to do so and Ghost does the rest.

“I just got mad. She’s always ‘round and practically up my arse, and I got caught up and instead of ��andlin’ it properly, I shoved my fucking foot in my mouth and scalped her.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I meant to be gentler but once I started, I couldn’t stop. It just kept comin’ out. And now she fuckin’ hates me.”

He pulls his hand down and looks up at Price with a scowl—the man is smiling at him, but it’s that stupid smile that means more than Ghost wants to admit it does.

“Quit that.”

“You care about her,” Price murmurs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, though his admonish is still harsh. “And instead of telling her how you felt like a grown adult, you took the ten-year-old way out and decided to be a cunt to her.”

“I didn’t mean to be such a cunt.”

“But the fact of the matter is that you did, and you’ve screwed up team fluidity and cohesion.” He looks at him. “You know a team divided—”

“Can’t stand,” Ghost finishes with an even worse scowl. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He looks away. “I just don’t know how to even start tryin’ to fix it.”

“Well, apologizing might be a good start,” Price rumbles with a grin. “She’s a good kid, Simon. Her heart’s in the right place, even if it’s a bit much at times. Shows she cares. More than most do in our line of work. She’s a rare one.”

“I know,” he admits in a much, much softer tone. “I just don’t want her to lose that doin’ this.” His eyes meet Price’s, and they hold such a misery. “Look at us, Price,” he mutters, gesturing between them. “Middle age, unmarried, no kids, too fucked up for anything like that. She doesn’t…” he clenches his jaw. “She deserves a better path, a safer path, than this life. She deserves to go out and have a life where she comes home to a family.”

“That’s not your choice to make, son,” he replies gently, but there’s a firmness to it. “If this is what she wants to do, then she will. We can’t make her get out of service.”

Ghost growls low in his throat. “She has so much more potential than being cannon fodder. She could do somethin’ with her life. Somethin’ good. Somethin’ that won’t have her dying face down in the sand with a bullet wound in the back.”

Price simply watches him.

“But she’s so fuckin’ stupid. She wants to be here. She wants to spend whatever time she has dodgin’ bullets and wakin’ up every night in sweat ‘cause she can’t escape the dreams. No one wants to do this. We don’t want to do this. We do this because we have to. But her? She’s happy here.” He lowers his voice, it’s as if he’s in disbelief. “She’s happy here.” He looks at Price. “Why? Why is she so happy here?”

It's another long moment before Price speaks.

“You hear, son, but you don’t listen.” He moves the cup on the saucer. “She bounced around homes growing up, scraped by on the skin of her teeth. She has no one. But here, she has something. She has people who care for her, if nothing else, they won’t let her die alone.”

“Oh what? So, it’s found family bullshit?” Ghost spits. “If she dies, at least the team would mourn her?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve done too?” he replies, and Ghost falls silent. “People like Gaz, Soap, and myself are different than you and she are, Simon. We have homes. We’ve had families that have loved us, that do love us. But you two? Simon, you’ve made a home where you’ve had to. Made a family out of people you’ve bled for, would gladly bleed for. You’ve made something that’s yours. You made a family for yourself. And so did she. She’s made us her family. The one she never had the privilege to call her own.”

Price lets out a quiet hum, and pats his thighs, standing up and pushing his chair in.

“Think on what I’ve said, son. And if nothing else, apologize and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court and let her make the next move.”

As he walks off, he hears, “And if she doesn’t want it?”

He tosses a knowing look over his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll take it.” His eyes twinkle as he adds, “Takes an awful strong woman to care about a man like you.”

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