#she pays her animators. thats been proven

[kiwibirbs-library]

Not What You Expected

a/n: hi hi so i had this idea after seeing a bunch of things on how everyone thinks kags is super scary but he really is a cinnamon roll and about how hes only really seen like because of middle school. So imma play off that. im thinking about making this a type of series but idk on who other than like three charcters soooo

btw this is kags second year so the third years arent there there to much. Im also going to warn you right now this is INCREADABLY LONG as crap and the stories are uneven i got carried away

word count: 3460 words

warnings: fluff of the century, not read through

pairing: Kageyama Tobio x fem!reader

summary: Tobio Kageyama looks like the type to be mean at any time of day to anyone. Of course of the past couple of years you’ve learned different. Over plenty of moments you’ve seen that reputation get proven wrong.

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not my art

The Day You Met

Tobio Kageyama.

The name is known around Karasuno now that he’s a second year. Normally that’s a good thing. But his name was known for being a guys the was mean and snappy. A name known for a guy with no friends and no sociability. 

You had never met the guy. Never even seen him in all honestly. You had transfered from Fukurodani half way through this year so it wasn’t to surprising. Still you would think you would at least see him at some point. I mean he even came to the school while you were there. Bokuto had told you about him enough times to know that much.

So when one of your friends invited you to a practice game they were having,, you took the chance to finally see the dude. And dang when you saw him, you SAW him.

There, in the middle of a game that tired YOU out by watching, was this guy running around and jumping like crazy. Everyone was so focused on him and how he was moving. Your eyes how ever were focused on the tall boy with black hair near the net. He seemed so focused on everything. The players, the ball, the net, everything. It was crazy to watch him. He seemed so serious at first but then when he would score a point with a serve his eyes seemed to sparkle. He didn’t smile to much or anything but his eyes just screamed excitement. 

When he set the ball for set point and it landed the whole team yelled in excitement. The tall boy whipped around to his team. Before his eyes could lower from the stands they locked on yours. You both just stared at each other for a second before he went back to teams celebration. Your friend pulled at your arm so she could go talk to the friend that told her of the game. 

She hooked her arm with yours and started down the stairs toward the gym doors. Who was the friend again? Ya- something? You two waited in the hall when a small girl came through the doors. She gave your friend a small smile, walking over to talk to her.

“Y/N this is Yachi! She’s the teams manager, Yachi this is Y/N,” she introduced you two. She smiled, saying hi. You three talked until she needed to go back to the coachs. Thats when you saw him again. He was walking with the small speed demon from earlier. He seemed like he was snapping at him but the small kid wasn’t phased by it. He turned forward where you were standing, locking eyes with you again. You didn’t miss the light pink that hit his cheeks. None the less, he ignored you as they passed by.

Tobio Kageyama, interesting.

Your friend waved goodbye to you as she got into her mom’s car. As they drove away you grabbed your jacket from your bag. When you looked back up you could see Kageyama at a vending machine in the corner. He leaned down, grabbing a carton and stabbing a straw into it. You watched him as his eyes sparkled again when he grabbed it. You laughed a little as you watched him. Here he was getting so excited over a carton of milk. 

You watched him as he left. He was going in the same direction as you. As you followed behind him the sun began to set. There was a quiet meow from a bush up ahead. Your eyes wandered to the noise. When you reached the maker you found a small black kitten. As you stepped closer you found someone else there too. 

Squatting behind the bush, holding a finger out trying to get the small cat to notice him, was Kageyama. He looked frustrated that the cat wasn’t paying him any mind. The kitten turned its head away towards you. It immediately started to you after it saw you. Kageyama followed the animal with his eyes until he saw you. You were sitting on your heels, scratching behind the kitten’s ear. He watched the exchange for a second before standing up to leave. When you looked up it was a lot darker and he was slowly leaving your sight. The wind started picking up and there was wierd rustling coming the trees. All of it was slowly starting creep you out. Looking in front you caught sight of the tall boy again and before you thought about it you were running up to him. 

To say he was shocked when his sleeve got pulled was an understatement. He jumped comically high into the air. He looked down at you with fear before relaxing a little. He was tense and looked a bit confused. 

“um can I help you?” he was leaning away from you but you still had his sleeve in hand. 

“oh I’m sorry. It just got kind of dark and I was hoping I could stick closer to you? Sorry I just wanted to not have something happen,” you said letting go of his sleeve. He looked throughly confused still but (ahem he does have a sister after all) he nodded.

“ya that fine,” you smiled at him and he blushed slightly. As he walked you followed close behind. Then he turned to you. “are you going to stay back there?” he looked over his shoulder to you. It took you back but you took the offer. Jogging up besides him and thanking him a comfortable silence drifted over the two of you. You would have thought you would be scared or intimidated but no, it felt really nice to walk next to him. You turned to him.

“by the way, I’m Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you.”

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When You Met The Team

You were with Kageyama at the vending machine before he had to go to practice. He pressed the button, handing you your own drink before grabbing his own. You leaned on the wall as you two talked. 

It had been a couple months since that walk home, and you had made an effort to say hi every now and then. You didn’t really know why but it was nice talking to him then. And now you were comfortable enough to meet up everyday before his practice. It was always a peaceful interaction and he was always so quiet and calm.

Of course when a little ball of energy came into the picture that changed fast. He came running around the corner and barreled towards Kageyama, not seeing you yet scince you were hidden by the vending machine. 

“KAGEYAMAAAA!” Kageyama flinched turning to the smaller kid. “Come set for me before practice starts!” he hopped up and down.

“ya ok I’ll be there in a second,” Kageyama turned back to you. “sorry I’ll talk to you tomorrow Y/N.” You smiled and nodded to him.

“ok have fun with your practice.”

Hinata froze. That was a girls voice. A girls voice that was talking to Kageyama. He poked his head around the vending machine. When he saw you and confirmed that it was a girl he whipped around to look at him.

“YOU KNOW A GIRL?!” he yelled out. You flinched back while Kageyama jumped back.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?! YES I KNOW A GIRL HINATA YOU DUMBASS!” he yelled back. As they yelling back and forth, you slipped out from behind Hinata. 

“um Tobio I’m gunna head out,” you patted his shoulder before giving Hinata a small smile before walking off. They both quieted down, watching you go to the road look around then walk down the sidewalk. As you disappeared the two boys turned to each other before Hinata smirked. He bolted down in your direction, Kageyama chasing after him. He raced in front of you, sliding to a stop.

“Hi! I’m Shoyo Hinata! What’s your name? Do you know Kageyama well, you called him by his first name too,” he smiled widely at you. You however had been incredible surprised by his sudden show that you were stumbling backward. Kageyama was the one to stop you from fully falling over. 

“I- uhh hi? I’m Y/N L/N, um yes I do know him,” you stuttered. Kageyama, who was still holding onto your arm, glared at Hinata.

“HINATA DON”T DO THAT YOU IDIOT SHE ALMOST FELL!” he yelled. Your eyes widened. You really hadn’t heard him yell other than that first practice game you watched. He stiffened with his tone, remembering you were still listening. 

“SHUT UP! Oooo wait did I embarrass you or something?” he snickered “No way, did you actually get a girlfriend?!” he looked shocked.

“SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND YOU IDIOT!” you looked up to see his beet red face an you laughed. They both turned to you with a confused look.

“is there something wrong Y/N?” Kageyama asked you.l

“no no I- I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never seen you like this, you’re normally calmer than this,” you laughed. Hinata snorted

“Pfft I don’t think I have ever heard anyone call him calm,” Kageyama seemed to almost growl at him. You and Hinata continued to laugh however. Thats when Kageyama’s worse nightmare happened. “OH Y/N you should come to todays practice!” he bounced on his heels. You smiled widely and nodded, both of you turning to face Kageyama. “isn’t that exciting Kageyama!” Hinata poked.

Kageyama glared at him mumbling something.

“Tobio? You good?” Hinata smirked at the sound of his name. Kageyama blushed slightly, continuing to glare at Hinata.

“no whatever come on were going to be late,” he turned on his heel and started back to the gym, Hinata and you skipped after him. Hinata went on about the other kids on the team. He was in the middle of saying something about a tall guy with glasses when there was a yell. 

A guy with a shaved head was standing in the door way, hands on his hips and a wide, kinda scary smile, on his face. A small guy slid into the space behind him, a bleached section of his hair swinging with the momentum. 

“well you two are never late wh- oh...” the guy with the buzz cut stopped when you came out from behind Kageyama.

“helloo pretty girl I have never seen before! Whats your name?” the short one asked with a smile. You just smiled and introduced yourself. Hinata bounced into the gym, telling them about how he invited you to watch. They followed along with the excitement, introducing themselves and throwing in some complements here and there. They whole time Kageyama was grinding his teeth and glaring. He stayed quiet though, not wanting to full on yell in front of you. He followed behind you into the gym, the other third years noticing you as well. The three came up to you and introduced themselves. The captain, Enoshita, was in the middle of telling you where you could sit when Nishinoya flew in out of nowhere almost jumped on you in the process. You weren’t paying attention to what he was saying out of surprise. 

There was a faint snickering from somewhere, gaining your attention. A tall boy in glasses sat on the floor, laughing into his hand.

“honeslty, you should calm down around Kageyama’s girlfriend a little. If you don’t it looks like he’ll crack a tooth,” he said quietly. You turned to Kageyama and sure enough, he was glaring on the wall quietly, teeth grinding again. You laughed lightly at how he stiffened and yelled at the kid with glasses. Noya snickered along with him, switching his attention to poking at Kageyama. 

“its not like that idi-”

“Y/N!?” Yachi came barreling up to you. You smiled, finally seeing someone you were familiar with. She gave a glance to the boys, gently pulling you away. “sorry if they were a bit overwhelming,” she laughed as you two got the stage area. 

“oh don’t worry its actually really nice to watch. Not to mention I’ve never seen Tobio so, I don’t know, uncalm I guess,” you laughed. Yachi gave you a look.

“oh you’ll get used to it. He’s normally like this. I do have to admit that hes a little more intense today,” she giggled.

You ended up staying throughout the whole practice. You watched on the stage as they played against themselves, walking over at one point to help Yachi through the balls up. At one point Kageyama missed a set or two and they bounced off his head. It took about ten minutes each time for the boys to refocus from teasing him. 

By the end of the practice it was dark outside. Yachi had already left, her mom calling her to get home for dinner a little earlier tonight. You waved a goodbye to the team and walked outside, sighing at how uncomfortable you were with walking alone at night.

“wait up!” you turned to the familiar voice. Kageyama jogged up beside you. “sorry I just remembered you don’t like walking home alone at night,” he rubbed the back of his neck. You smiled up at him.

“thank you Tobio,” you paused for a second. “sorry for embarrassing you in front of your team.”

“you didn’t embarrass me. It was actually nice to know you were watching,” you looked back up to him. He was turned away but you could see the red glow to his cheeks. You laughed lightly, returning to the peaceful silence you two could always hold with only one thought. 

‘scary my ass’

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The Day You Started Dating

Out of all the time you spent with the young setter, this was both one of the sweetest and scariest. 

You had a steady schedule now. You went through your classes, went to the vending machine to meet Tobio for lunch, more classes, and then meeting the boys for club. After meeting them all you became a somewhat unoffical manager, helping with set up, clean up, and over all practice. You were enjoying it, and when you all went to matches you were able to meet people and socialize more than you were. 

You were especially excited for this coming up trip. It was a training camp with the tokyo schools and you were ecstatic to see Bokuto and the team again. As you all filed onto the bus you were practically bouncing off the walls with Hinata in tow. The newer first years watched in slight fear that you two might explode. Even though you sat with Tobio you were still basically having a race with words with Hinata. Unknown to you, however, the tall boy had been waiting for your attention the entire ride.

“Y/NNNNN!” Bokuto was speeding down the stairs in front of Shinzen. 

“BO!!” you yelled back. he picked you up and spun you around in a hug, both of you laughing. The rest of Karasuno watched the interaction in semi-shock. 

“you need to come visit at some point! I haven’t seen you since you transfered!” he said as he set you down. 

“I know, I know I’m sorry,” you both continued talk as the rest of the team came down. Akaashi casually slide into the conversation when he met up with you both. Soon enough he was calming Bokuto down a couple knoches after detecting Tobio’s aura of death from beside the bus. The team was able to catch onto it too, snickering and poking at him. 

This continued throughout the rest of the week. Between Bokuto’s constant hovering with you and the overall simpingness from E V E R Y O N E with all the girls in general, not leaving you out, Kageyama was on the edge of murder. He really wanted your attention more and more throughout the week, but you were busy half of the time. It wasn’t until the third day that he fully snapped.

Karasuno had just lost a set and were taking a breather before their next match and you were talking with the shinzen manager. Shinzens new captain came up to you and joined into the conversation. Kageyama noticed immediately, his attitude getting worse by the minute. He unconsciously moved closer to hear.

“so you’re with Karasuno right?”

“yes I am.”

“oh cool cool. So are you... seeing anyone up there?”

“umm not really,” his head whipped in your direction. You were alone with the captain now, he was slowly leaning closer to you as you backed away.

“not really? So is that a yes or no?” he asked again. It wasn’t even like he was making a big scene or being mean about it, but you were still uncomfortable. You probably looked normal but Kageyama could see it. The way your eyes were shifting between him and around the room. The way you were leaning backward and shuffling backward at the same time. The way you held his gaze when you found it. He immediately stood up and walked over to you. The captain took notice quickly and backed off a little with the glare he was getting. 

Tobio grabbed you hand, throwing one last glare, then pulling you away and outside. He sat down and pulled you in between his legs. You were currently confused, flustered, and scared. Confused because what was happening. Flustered because you were now located basically in his lap with his head on your shoulder. And finally scared because the glare he just gave the other player was scarier than any other he’s ever thrown to Hinata or Tsukkishima. 

“um Tobio?” you tried to turn around to look at him but he help you in place.

“I really didn’t like it,” he said quietly.

“what?” you turned your head a little.

“I really didn’t like him hitting on you. I didn’t like how I haven’t been able have your attention these past few days. I really don’t like that,” he mumbled into your shoulder. You smiled lightly. You knew you should be trying to comfort him in a way but, listening to how he was talking, you could only smile .

“Tobio can I turn around?” he stiffened slightly before letting go of your waist. You turned, sitting on your knees. “you know, if you wanted my attention, you could have just asked,” you giggled.

“harder said than done with a girl that is constantly surrounded by guys,” the start of a smile spreading on his face.  

“oh please, you could steal me away at anytime and I wouldn’t complain,” you flirted. He blushed at the comment. 

“so like does that count at school too?” he asked looked back up to you.

“as long as anytime means what I think it means, then yes,” you laughed again.

“and at random times of the day?”

“yes,” the laugh you had was growing.

“and  at practice?”

“oh.my.GOD. Tobio just ask me out!” you laughed into his shoulder. He was bright red and had been for a while. His smile was growing despite that though.

“isn’t it cheesy if I just ask ‘will you go out with me’?” he was starting to laugh too. You both just sat there, his hands on your waist and you head on his shoulder, shaking with laughter.

Little did either of you two know you would get caught in a couple of minutes by one shocked coach Ukai after not being able to find Kageyama.

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Graduation

It wasn’t anything really special. Just everyone after buzzing with excitement about after parties and pictures. You had run out to meet your family and friends a little late. You saw everyone in a little group, the now third years on the team, their families, and a couple others. You could see Nishinoya and Tanaka jumping up and down and patting Hinata and Kageyama’s heads. You smiled as you got closer to them, knowing that they didn’t need to come. Kageyama saw you and smiled softly. You sped up slightly, running head on into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. 

There were groans from the boys, while their parents cooed and awwed. He always was like this with you though. No matter how pissed or upset he was he would always smile when you showed up. It meant a lot to you, knowing how he hated the teasing. 

Thats when he did what he never does. He pushed you away slightly, then taking your chin in his hand. When he kissed you there were quiet gasps and gags from your little group. 

“sorry I just needed to do that,” he mumbled against your lips. Once again you could only think one thing as you smiled back to him.

‘scary my ass’

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a/n: dang that was long ok thanks for sticking through it tell me if you would like this with more of the charcters :)

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #kageyama #tobio kageyama #kageyama x reader #volleyball #oh my god #ok but when i wrote him asking Y/N out ahhhhh

[firemama]

Extremely long rant about SU Future, ft the diamonds and the symbolism they feature

the thing about su diamonds was always their representation. and we call that quickly with yellow and blue- respectively, body/physical health and emotion/emotional health. further proven, when helping gems heal, yellow diamond could help a gem find a body they liked and were comfortable with, or fix broken things in a physical form, while blue diamond helping others was just to make them happy, or to make others grieve sadness when everyone around her often ignored their sadness.

the other two diamonds were more abstract through the series, and it was relatively hard to name them, but i think i've finally grasped the base concept in one-word answers, and the health factors they represent:

white diamond was very hard to give a word until after i had watched future. for a while the only name i could give her concept was The Ego. Now, i've come to a more final conclusion: Identity/Personality health. specifically, in the aspect of the personality, id day ID health. its a much more difficult concept to format ID health into an explanation, so lets start with Identity- something we can all agree White Diamond had an unhealthy view of.

Like yellow having an obsessive need for physical and performance perfection in every gem including herself, and blues unhealthy obsession with her emotions to the point of ignoring other's emotions in favor of her own grief, sadness, or happiness. White followed suit with her example of extremely unhealthy Identity issues for herself and others; White Diamond was incapable of recognizing identity at all. She saw herself not as a Diamond but as light itself, therefore everything, everywhere, and as NOT a person. she saw all gems- creatures of projected light- therefor as herself. she was incapable of acknowledging individuality or identity.

she improves in future by facing her unhealthy views, like the other diamonds, by reversing her powers. yellow abandons her own opinions on what is a perfect body in favor of helping gems achieve bodies they want- her crutch is that Yellow is still making gems better, more correct, such as removing deformities from corruption- but she is improving by subjecting changes to approval and desires of her patients. blue abandons her need to make others face their emotions, her emotions, head on and forceful as she one did (quite litterally); she uses her powers now to make people feel happy, feel better, because when you feel less miserable your more likely to make better choices to improve yourself and your situation, much like medication- her crutch, however, is that she is still MAKING gems feel something to try and help- but she is improving, by acknowledging that making others feel miserable is wrong, and by taking the time to listen to how others are feeling and then attempt to make them happy, rather than ignore others feelings as she often did before in favor of wallowing in her own grief.

White abandons her unhealthy views of identity in the most opposite way her powers will allow. rather than make herself everything, and that everyone is just an inferior piece of herself- she lets them be everything. to do this she must acknowledge each person she connects with as an individual- as not her. she acknowledges everything they are in order to do this, and takes in every imperfection as it is, and allows it to enter herself. the crutch here is that white has not changed HER OWN identity. white diamond's taken upon herself the identities of others, to understand them, to help people "be heard," and to acknowledge their identities. she does this by erasing herself, as she has not yet come to find her identity. this is where ID Health comes into play and can be a little more complicated. the 3 facets of personality can be denoted by Superego (or morality), Ego (external personality, or the face you show the world and acknowledge yourself), and ID.

ID is most easily described as Instinct, but the reality of it is still more complicated than Instinct. it is everything subconscious, everything inherent to an animal, everything inherited from your ancestors, it is the compressed concept of function. there isn't right and wrong in ID- that is Superego. There isnt debate or awareness, thats Ego. ID is essentially invisible information, "bottom of the iceberg" of the personality. White diamond has essentially ignored and set aside all ID, shut away and suppressed it, in an effort to maintain "Perfection." her ID, her innate needs, innate emotional connections, innate acknowledgment of her own body and mind, have been ignored and put aside for Superego- morality, laws of an empire, what is right and wrong with the universe- and Ego- her display of Perfection and her Entitlement and Superiority. ID health is very difficult to care for, and can be a major factor in personality disorders. White diamond is the culmination of Identity Issues and an unhealthy ID, but like her fellow diamonds, while she has work to do on herself, theyre making improvements. and theyve started with how they affect others foremost- which is good, especially since theyre are authoritative figures who have hurt many already. 

pink diamond was the Mind/Mental health, which seems obvious in hindsight, but her powers were of a wide variety, which leaked into other places- like real physical healing, with her tears. this is a good metaphor for how mental health has its fingers in everything. It is affected by emotion and can cause extreme or minute fluctuations in a person's emotions without external stimulus; it is effected by body chemistry and can have detrimental effects on ones health and ability; it is effected my acknowledgment from others in the Ego, it is effected by morals and judgments from the self in the Superego, and changes the weight of the ID on the personality.

pink diamond often had extreme problems with her mental health- irrationality, emotional instability, frequent rejections of herself that eventually lead to new identities, which only made such problems exacerbated by immersing herself in further strain and responsibilities she took upon herself- such as trying to "fix" her dysfunctional family. like the diamonds, pink had a need for perfection, and like the diamonds, this was both for herself and for others. when she failed to be perfect, she took extreme hits to her mental health. when her immediate family and primary interactions, the diamonds, acted with poor emotional health responses, she tried to fix them herself, with her own hands- her powers didn't always necessitate this as easily as the fellow diamonds, so her tactics were to entertain them to get them together, to throw balls to ease tension, to make jokes and to sing and to get angry when she was ignored, because you c a n t ignore your mental health or it will scream at you to pay attention to it. Herr powers did allow her to connect to other minds, things we see in steven- to enter others dreams and share his own, to travel mentally to where others are, to speak with them directly into the mind. but both pink and steven struggled to handle these powers ; possibly because mentally, they were not healthy enough to grasp them, and mental health can ruin every aspect when not cared for- if mental health can damage the body, the personality, the mind, the emotions- then surely it can disrupt magic powers.

i think that pink made her change, just like her fellow diamonds did, as rose quartz. while the diamonds did full immediate 180s and turned their powers in reverse, pink diamonds change took time. at first even her rebellion was a desire for herself, to save only earth and to be not a diamond- yet another new identity, another attempt to run as she often did from other problems. and i think her change started just after Garnet appeared, when the rebellion stopped being (only) about earth, but also about Gems. rather than kick every gem off earth, it became free gems who wanted to be freed. it became not fixing her colony, not maintaining perfection or her secrets once earth was free. to be the true opponent of mental health, you need change, and you need growth, and you need support. pink diamond never found and of these things, but rose quartz did. rose quartz made her 180 with the support of the rebellion and the rebels and the crystal gems, made the hard change to finally abandon trying to be perfect like a diamond, and eventually started to grow on earth when the war and the turmoil was over.

her crutch, though, was that she never did stop running. she lived a lie, faked her death and blamed everything on her old self who she detached from, and never faced this music, and instead left everything to be dealt with without her. in the end pink diamonds crutch was to run and to abandon her problems, even while she improved, but because she lived a lie and never shared amd faced her biggest secret, she stopped growing. these traumas were inherited to Steven in turn- he was given remnants of her old life as pink diamond, memories of her anger and haunting nightmares of a neglectful home and eroding mental health that she never was able to acknowledge, because she abandoned them and never faced them again. while rose made improvements, using her powers to try to help others take care of their mental health and to grow, her crutch just like white diamond's is that she did not approach her own. 

so to summarize a very long post:

Yellow Diamond: The Body, Physical Health

Blue Diamond: The Emotions, Emotional Health

White Diamond: The Identity, Personality Health

Pink Diamond: The Mind, Mental Health

#this was written at 5-6am #so forgive any spelling errors #munchatter #steven universe future #suf #steven universe spoilers #steven universe future spoilers

[bladekindeyewear]

Bloggin’ bout HS^2′s second upd8 continued.  > (==>)

And it had felt so real, almost like he could have reached out and touched him--

--Yeah, the next page is gonna be BGDirk just standing there like I saw before I read the update, right?

> (==>)

> (==>)

Two pages. Close enough.

> (==>)

Hah!  Get fucked, Dirk.  (Even if you’re supposedly one of the better Dirks.)

> (==>)

Yep, all see-thru and everything.

DIRK: You passed out in a puddle of your own drool. And what the fuck is that on your face? JAKE: My face? What do you mean on my face? DIRK: The moustache, Jake. Who’s idea was that. JAKE: Oh! You dont like it? DIRK: I didn’t say that.

Oh come the fuck on.  He looks good in a mustache, Jane-influence or no Jane-influence.

DIRK: We’ve had this conversation before, dingus. I’m you. And I’m me. But I only exist because of your powers. The fact that I’m manifesting here, in the new universe, outside of a dream, is evidence in itself for just how absolutely boned you are.

Now what exactly do you mean by that last part?  How is this a sign of trouble?

--Is it because this Dirk thinks he’s needed?  And therefore shit will be going down?

DIRK: You’ve been a useless sack of shit for two decades. I’m here to kick your ass back into active duty.

...Hm.

I mean, Jake MIGHT be able to help stop this stupid goddamn war, but this IS Dirk trying to help him, so...

JAKE: And what side am i supposed to be fighting on? for jane or against her? DIRK: Against her. Obviously. What the fuck, dude.

Pffff.

JAKE: But you were the one who wanted her to run in the first place! You wrote her bloody speeches! DIRK: Yeah, I did. And every single one of them kicked ass. I wanted Jane to be the democratically elected president. Not a cake-slinging Jeff Bezos with a great rack.

Pfff.  I mean, you didn’t do a great job the first way, either.  It’s heavily implied things in Canon-land were about to go to shit too.

Not as FAR to shit, nor as quickly, but still to shit.  So, really, how DIFFERENT is this from the way you wanted it done, Dirk?  How can you claim this isn’t half YOUR fuck-up too?

DIRK: Don’t worry about it. The point is, you have a chance to make a difference. You’re in the perfect position to infiltrate her operation.

Oh hell no.  Don’t send him back in THERE you utter horse’s ass!  How could THAT be good for his mental health!? What the fuck about Tavros?!?

DIRK: That’s horseshit and we both know it. Jane would take you back in a second. She loves you.

I think Jane’s definition of “taking him back” would be a bit broader than his body or soul could fucking afford.

> (==>)

Eugh.  You really liked the Condesce’s way of doing things right down to her style, huh?  To think you used to love the spoon.  Is that a fucking spork?  Is that zilly Battlespork your go-to weapon now?

Also, it took me a moment to realize those green and orange silhouettes were Jake and BGDirk.  I was a little like “how did Rose get here?!?”.

> (==>)

Have I mentioned how good all this art is?  So much attention being paid to the use of color, to making everything look so soft and streamlined?

Looks like she’s going in for at LEAST a hug.  And the art style might be mercifully light on showing us indulgent details of just how asset-laden Jane is supposed to be.  Shots of Jake’s manly bod aside, something in me doesn’t like the traditionally-sexualized stuff pushed like that in a canon that’s been light on it for so long...

> (==>)

Oh, that... THAT looks fake.  Or like, she’s about to turn around and happily wail on his ass or something.

JANE: Boo hoo hoo! Oh, Jake! Something awful has happened! JAKE: It--it has? You mean more awful than usual? JANE: The opposition has taken Tavros, Jake. They’ve finally shown their true colors. I knew it was only a matter of time before they attacked our family directly!

.....Ah.  Well, that explains it.  She’d never cry like that about HIM returning AFTER STEPPING OUT ON HER.

It’s then that Jake realizes that Jane isn’t mad because she’d never realized he was gone.

Poor pages, huh?  All their most dramatic gestures always undercut.

...It seems like we might see Candy kind of resolved in less of a fucked-up worldstate after all, at this rate?

She seems to have forgotten that she’d been cross with him the last time they met, because now that Gamzee is gone, there’s no one left to talk to.

It’s true. Gamzee’s absence always improves things.

> (==>)

All of it is made worse by the occasional wry glint in her eye, or moment of self-deprecation in the slant of her mouth. It reminds him of the Jane he used to know. Or the Jane he thought he used to know.

Ambition is a hell of a thing.  Seems like she’s drunk of it almost as deeply as Prince Dirk.  I’d imagine this could be a pretty consistent thing with really active Life players when they get actual power, huh?  The way it just gathers to Life players in all its forms -- power over others, status, wealth -- it’s easy to start to leverage it in ways that constitute abuse of power over others from a Riddle perspective.

At first Dirk stands at Jake’s elbow, a one-ghost support staff, before he appears to lose interest in Jane’s rant and wanders off across the office, reading the spines of books and spending way too long staring at a startlingly phallic piece of installation art,

--PLEASE let us see it.

, the provenance of which Jake doesn’t know, but could hazard a guess it wore a codpiece.

Nope, never mind. Interest lost.

> (==>)

Then he settles on Jane’s desk, propping his ghost butt there and sort of just...well. Here’s a picture of what he does.

Um.

Where is this going?

> (==>)

Oh, so the BEST option, then.  :D

Okay. That’s a bit of an exaggeration.

Boooooo.

> (==>)

--Alright, forgiven.

he’s thoroughly exhausted from attempting to pay attention to his supervillain wife while trying not to look at the crotch of a ghost man from his brain.

...Okay, hold up.  BGDirk, are you trying to steer him into doing this for self-indulgent, non-comedic purposes? Or is this a bit of Prince Dirk in there?  (I mean... I can’t definitively say Jake wouldn’t have wanted this.)

And I’m still wondering how all of this is going to be relevant.  IF it’s going to be relevant.  Despite promises to the contrary that are seemingly being ignored.

> (==>)

DIRK: All according to keikaku.

Fuck you.

JAKE: i really didnt think id fall off the wagon so quickly. I dont think being here is good for my emotions to be honest. DIRK: Yeah, probably not. But that’s okay. They don’t matter. JAKE: Oh.

Yeah, Dirk, you suck at this more than you know.  This ain’t going to go as well as you “hope” I don’t think.

DIRK: Don’t know anything about stiff lips, dude. But that’s not what I mean. It’s not because you’re a man. You’re a god. JAKE: Oh right. That. DIRK: The world comes first, even at the expense of all your relationships and personal happiness. That’s what being a hero means. JAKE: I guess...i never really thought about it like that.

You’re also not guaranteed to be fucking right, you know.

There are definitely dichotomies where what was best for the world wasn’t best for the person, so far, and vice versa in Homestuck.  But Dirk’s taking his anime-flavored principles as gospel as usual, and ignoring, oh I dunno, the impact of the heart in all of this.  Some people, ESPECIALLY JAKE and other Pages so far, CAN’T operate at their best until they’re at least reasonably healthy and sure of themselves, and investments to that effect are essential to letting them slowly realize their full potential.  Brain Ghost Dirk is likely making the same goddamn mistake he made with his overbearing Dirkbot back on Jake’s island.

> (==>)

DIRK: Think what you want about Jane, but at least she realizes that none of you can ever be normal, and she never bothered to try. Can it really be a god-complex if you’re actually a god? DIRK: People like us don’t get happy endings.

...Yup.  This is the fucked-over part of Dirk’s worldview coming in full play, here.  And he believes in it so strongly that he couldn’t even fucking leave NON-CANON alone anymore.  Fuck.

JAKE: Thats bleak dirk i dont think i could possibly believe that!

Mmmhmm.

DIRK: Yeah. That’s probably more a Dirk thought than a Jake one. I told you, it’s hard to tell sometimes. JAKE: Is...is that really how dirk felt the whole gosh darned time?

Mmmhmm.

> (==>)

Last page of the upd8.  Well... all I can say is, it’s a good thing he’s a fucking ghost here.  And half Jake, at that.  At least that can limit the damage.  Hopefully giving Jake just enough of a kick in the doing-something direction without being so overbearing that he makes things worse, making for a balance of...

...Wait.

Wait, is that why we’re here?

Maybe that finally makes some sense of all this.  Of this cut, of this small violation of that last sentence in Meat, of--  ah, yeah, I might be on to something here!  Only maybe, but still--!

We’re quite possibly bearing witness to a realm of influence where, through measures outside of his control, Dirk has a balanced impact.  Where this same ideology of his, tempered by Jake’s hopeful mindset and Dirk’s inability to take direct action, might just manage to make things better and actually make everyone happier by the end, while solving Earth C’s fucked-up Candyland state at the same time.  It’s possibly to show the readers (through the lens of a Hope player specializing in positive possibility) that Dirk, had he been restrained, COULD have had a positive impact, even at the same time that we’re shown Prince Dirk at his soul’s most overblown and heinous.

And, if we want to be optimistic..... perhaps this’ll show Dirk, too?

Canon and Non-Canon may not “meet” again.  But that doesn’t stop Dirk, via this fragment of his multiverse-spanning soul, from seeing Non-Canon.  From seeing how well things COULD have worked out, had he held back.  And if we keep cutting like this -- back and forth between the “real” story and these events in Candyverse -- perhaps the moment at which Brain Ghost Dirk realizes what he’s accomplished, realizes how much better things are because he could hold back, will coincide at the end with Prince Dirk finally, belatedly, realizing just how fucked his plan was, and understanding at the very, very end why he has to fucking die?

THAT would be interesting.

I guess we’ll see?  Talk to y’all next upd8.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots

[strawberryspeachy]

So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.

Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.

Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.

Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.

And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.

And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.

But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.

These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...

I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.

But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.

But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.

And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you

But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.

Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way

Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.

So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.

It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.

I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...

Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.

Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.

Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.

Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”

It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them

When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...

And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’

Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.

Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like

Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.

I like that... i like thay thing we do

In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.

Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.

Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???

Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.

Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.

Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching

[nabtime]

The wondrously diverse field of ecto-psychology

Okay, so in light of what happened with Butch butchering Jazz’s character i thought it’d be nice to pay tribute to her and examine all the different avenues ghosts and psychology could mix (and how she most definitely was the most influential psychologist of her time by literally inventing an entirely new field). Shoutout to the Psych Majors for Jazz Fenton Association @currently-lurking

So, fair warning, I’m long-winded and im about to info-dump about two of my fav special interests: ghosts and psychology.

Here we go.

So, to start off, let me just say that I have just finished my third year of a bachelors degree in psychology, and im looking into grad school to get a masters/maybe a doctorate. so i do mostly know what im talking about. BUT also seeing as there are apparently plenty of psych majors in the phandom if anybody wants to add on or go in depth in something they specialize in, be my guest. these are just from the areas ive taken classes in. 

let’s start off with saying that psychology is more than just therapy and abnormal pathologies. it’s a science! i write a lot of research papers! i was research assistant just last semester! where i helped with experiments! science! 

and, honestly, when it comes to the idea of giving ghosts therapy in order to move on... I dont think it would differ much from human therapy, assuming that: the ability to move on implies that they’re human, the brains of ghosts who were once human don’t differ from the brains of humans, there aren’t any long-term effects of ghost socialization on ghosts that were once human, and that the problems of the ghost are rooted within trauma from their human life. Otherwise things would have to be extensively researched in order to give the best care for otherworldly patients! 

Which is where the science comes in!! But i havent studied all areas of psych/psych research, so im going to theorize about the areas i do know! which are: humanistic psych, child and adolescent psych, cognitive basis of behavior, social psych, and evolutionary psych! social and evo are my strong points. 

so lets talk about evolutionary psychology! this is the field of study that produces research like finding empathy in rats, Ayumu the Chimp has better numerical memory than humans, and stuff about humans too like “gender differences” (but i avoid that and like the stuff about animals more).

So how would scientists in the evo-psych field react to ghosts? First they’d probably flip out. and i mean that. its been a real problem in the field for researchers to acknowledge that animals might even have feelings (since proven that they obviously do), let alone other human-like traits (this is a phenomenon called anthropocentrism, where humans think they’re the best above all else). so a being that is not human but is very much sentient and able to communicate?? absolutely wild. the appearance of ghosts would enthrall behaviorists as an entirely new species! one that also might be closely related to humans!! Now, most ghosts can communicate like humans do and so would be studied by more human-oriented psychologists. but about the things like the ecto-pusses? the blobs? they’re more animal than human as ghosts. or cujo? they’d go nuts.

Do they have feelings? can they think? can they count? what about their memory in general? do they have empathy? can they work together to solve a problem? can they solve puzzles? do they eat??? if so how do they hunt/forage? do they have a complex social structure or are they solitary? semi-social? do the ghosts that reflect a living animal also function like their living counterpart or is there something that sets them completely apart? do they fulfill the criteria for play??? dO THEY REPRODUCE??? (i mean there was lunchbox so??) DO THEY EVOLVE????

also pertaining to this field id like to think that the appearance of ghosts who are obviously sentient and able to communicate with the same language humans do, it would totally blow anthropocentrism out of the water and put smug superior psychologists that dont think animals could ever be on the same level as humans in their place. nyeh. (Anyway anthropocentrism, anthropodenial, and the like are all fascinating things and I really recommend reading Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are? by Frans De Waal, a very good read in easy access language with cool animal facts and my professor Dr. Burghardt is even mentioned in it!) 

and honestly this is getting so long im just gonna cover social psych 

Anyway. So! social psych is the wonderful love child of psychology and sociology and as my professor puts it, psych studies the individual, sociology studies social structures and social psych studies how social structures effect the individual! social psychology puts out research like: the famous milgram experiment, how to reduce prejudice, and stuff about lying. the stuff about prejudice is where my professor specialized and i was even a research assistant for one of his grad students! (facial expression versus race processing). 

okay, so. ghosts. oh man there’s so many questions. social wise. do they have a social structure? do they have implicit prejudices as a result of that structure? i mean there was a ghost king so? how does their social structure differ from ours? do they have different cultures? do they have subcultures within their main culture? is there an identity they associate with being a ghost thats separate from their personal identity? do they have the same obedience to authority as we do? (they have a prison and walker obviously, but they also have jailbreaks all the time apparently). do they lie? are they good at detecting lies? are they socialized to be a ghost or are some traits innate?? do you have instincts and drives that make you want to scare humans or are you socialized to do so? can ghosts overcome that? could they fully integrate into human society if both humans and ghosts use the steps to reduce prejudice? do they form groups? attachments? 

there are things i need to know okay.

basically the introduction of ghosts would probably create a split in psychology wherein the whole field of research is re-created. but for ghosts. its fascinating. 

i mean there’s also psych questions in general about ghosts.

how does death affect their psyche? their thoughts and feelings and identity? especially in the case of formerly-human ghosts. do they retain all the memories of their life as human? to they only retain major memories? does this affect their memory, identity, or mental health?? do ghosts have an innate instinct to cause fear in humans or is this some form of socialized prejudice or maybe is this a result of acting out on trauma faced before death? do ghosts literally even have brains?????? does ectoplasm do anything to their brain if they have one since it functions as their blood? are their effects on humans from long-term exposure to ectoplasm? are ghosts that are born ghosts different from ghosts that died human? 

i dunno there’s a whole bunch more but its 2am so bye for now

#danny phantom #free jazz fenton #naps hc #currently-lurking #ashdgkasjdjsd

[trendyelle]

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a grow adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you acknowledge the daily struggle that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great person and great surface. Lifes hard when you want to get fucked up at Governors Ball but likewise ogle 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not going to see Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and snacking enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her method so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she chewed last nighttime. So heres a listing of nutrients you are able to forestall like an ex-boyfriend slithering into your DMs and foods you are able to hug because theyll cook your fucking face. Damn, Ive got bars. DONT: Gobble Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even ingests canned meats anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red fucking pennant that this girl was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and effects your torso to hold on to ocean, which is why your appearance is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from infinite, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and too be objectionable on Instagram, devouring salmon is a sure room to get better gazing skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fattens. These paunches strengthen cell tissues and nourish the scalp to continue you gazing fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol merely because you often say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purify your form are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, especially the green juices which are able to have up to 50 grams of sugar in them, which is actual sabotage when it is necessary to having clear surface. ^ I imagine every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been shooting liquid sugar into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your surface. The more you are familiar with. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy flabs and wont leave your scalp examining more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I accompanied coming. Nothing that savor this good can be anything but destruction on your torso. And since Im not on my period rn in control of my torso I approximate Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can figure this fun circumstance called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your body. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly chewing ice cream is aging you.* stairs into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it flavours healthy and the whole experience youll be caring you were devouring real chocolate with real flavor at least your skin will appear good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick pun. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time someone replies all to ministries and departments email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my mentality around because coffee is literally one of the only reasons I get out of bed in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this twinkling temperament. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( bogus report Im sure !) which causes your form to lose liquid and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though future prospects of drinking red-hot lemon liquid sounds about as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and yields some very much support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins drinking on daytimes that cease in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by such lists. Like, is someone looking at my bank affirmation and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel stores? Because Im find actually assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is imitation news* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the toll we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it ogles miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve proven will not only give you clear/ glowy skin but likewise fightings against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones astound except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my joy, soda are detrimental to you. And precisely because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Likewise sucking any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Too, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant only drink vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer scalp , not croak. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn era. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch reels around then chug some of this and pretend like its booze something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rejoice is possibly fucking up your skin and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not oblige the roll, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual investigate that would support otherwise. Who says you cant move your own destiny? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self see dont wishes to sacrifice your prosperity theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-5/

[vitalmindandbody]

Criminal or scapegoat, Shakespeare’s Shylock is a reputation to celebrate

In his contemporary change of The Merchant of Venice, Howard Jacobson set out to explore Shylocks tolerating plead , not make amends for his Jewishness

If Shakespeare is the most revelatory of columnists, it is because he has infinite symbolizes at his disposal, and can find the poem of grief or disappointment where the circumstances are least poetical. Take that stage in The Merchant of Venice in which Shylock presses his co-religionist Tubal for information of his daughter Jessicas elopement, counting the cost of her “goin ” ducats. Tubal intersperses what he knows of Jessica with what he has is aware of Antonios adversities. Carefully, he divulges out presupposition and hearsay, quantifying their effects. But eventually he must let Shylock know the worst. Jessica has been heard of in Genoa, going through the money she embezzled from her father, and exchanging a reverberate, likewise stolen from him, for a monkey.

Thou torturest me, Tubal, Shylock reacts. And genuinely we dont know whether Tubal intends torture or not. Does Shylock have to be given this agonising info at all? Is Tubal well informed the rings provenance? Whether he is or he isnt, Shylock exposes it to him now, although it was tones as much as though its to himself hes talking. It was my turquoise. I had it of Leah when I was a bachelor. I would not have given it for a wilderness of monkeys.

Whatever we have been thinking of Shylock so far, the field seems to open beneath him here , not to withdraw him but to award us rare access into his history, his antecedent affections, the man he was before he became and maybe why he became the man he is now. Just the word bachelor is a shock, because although we have experienced him with his daughter we have not in so far put our thoughts to his married, let alone his widowed state.

A Jewish patriarch, yes, who realizes his home a inferno, as patriarch are inclined to do, for his restless daughter. But a patriarch brought forward by small children without a bride to help him have we thought that one through? There is no word to say his wife is dead, but we hear it unmistakably in that deceptively plain convict, I had it of Leah when I was a bachelor-at-arms. A happening indivisible from Leah, that endowment voices, an expression of simple-minded closeness that sees Portias and Bassanios ring joke later in the romp look like shallow trumpery. We sense the loss to Shylock, anyway, without his scratching the ache of it. Detecting is not, to him, that thought of elegantly wearisome flaunt it is to Antonio and Portia.

Phoebe and Jonathan Pryce as Jessica and Shylock in a 2015 make at the Globe theatre, London. Photograph: Tristram Kenton for the Guardian

For Jessica to have embezzled the ring her baby demonstrated her papa and she would surely are all aware of its significance is a most terrible betrayal. For her to have parted with it a more terrible sellout still. But to have parted with it for a ape! There have been periods when it was fashionable for a magnificent maiden to dandle a domesticated monkey on her lap or parade with it on a studded rein. Whether that was the case in Genoa the play doesnt tell. Whatever her motivating, the grossness of the transaction is of a style Jessica, the Jewish daughter of Jewish father, should have been alive to. I would not have given it for a wilderness of apes, Shylock adds. What a fine Hebraism is showed in this formulation! William Hazlitt memorandum. No doubt he sounded the Old Testament in that parole wilderness for behind the Mosaic project to civilise and codify, the wilderness was always waiting to seduce and reclaim the natural being. To a people who thoughts God as a philosophical sentiment, never to be identified or encountered, least of all to be confused with the animal deities worshipped abroad , nothing utters the antithesis to civilisation more competently than the unbridled stomach of an ape. A wilderness is a desolate target. A wilderness of apes is a flesh for the despair of the human rights mettle when faithfulness and reward have absconded it.

It is not, nonetheless, the last string of the scene. Tubal bars Shylocks sorrow with better information. But Antonio is certainly undone. And it does the maneuver. Nay, thats true-life, thats very true, Shylock refutes. Go, Tubal, fee me an officer …

So its back to the viciou business of manufacturing Antonio pay. The gambling will have its act and Shylock will have his pound of flesh.

To someone determined to read The Merchant of Venice as a Jew-hating play, this scotches any debate that Shakespeare is of Shylocks party. Yes, Shylock is awarded an illuminating instant of humanity that, after all, is what Shakespeare does: every scoundrel has his enunciate but thereafter, and by his own choose, the Jew quickly returns to the engrossing Jewish occupancy of requital.

That, however, is to say no more than that The Merchant of Venice is a gambling not a exposition, and that we would not expect Shylock to be sentimentalised. He does not become, by virtue of what we have learned, a man forgiven and illustrated. But nor, in my view of the performance, is it possible to return unchanged to all we previously thought. Our feel of who he is should always have been evolving regardless, and we cannot escape our new knowledge of him as a husband who had and lost a wife, and can now be said to have had and lost a daughter. He has been cruelly burgled in a double sense, and the sneering offenders are all indulgent the group of friends of Antonio. This nothing extenuates, but once “weve heard” Shylock narrated his losings, ducats and all, we cannot forget them unless we have our own intellects to.

Two stages after the wilderness of apes, Shylock has animals on his head again. Thou calledst me bird-dog before thou had a crusade, he reminds Antonio, But since I am a pup, beware my fangs. So, yes, though all thats feral disheartens and demoralises him, he will put on a feral disposition in an act that is a sort of obstinacy against himself as well as Antonio. The wilful hardening of centres a reference establishing himself impervious to ground or affection, and so less human than he actually is interests Shakespeare. We see it in Coriolanus. We see it in Lady Macbeth. We even see it, although it was gloomed by clowning, in Hamlet. One human in his time gamblings numerous parts, and one of those components will be his own feeling of who he is or would like or has no choice but to be. The narration Shakespeare tells of Shylock is of a soul who diminishes into the extremely obduracy of irritation he is accused of by those who want him to be nothing else. It is a part that not every man could master, and Shylock notices the wherewithal within to participate it right enough, but being the Jew who must have his pound of flesh is still just as much a capitulation to an expected capacity as it is an expression of something invariable in his character.

I dont say this, as a fellow Jew, to save Shylock from his Jewishness. I simply recount the performance. When “its been” made publicly available by my publishers that I had hot-headedly taken up current challenges to write a contemporary romance in The Merchant of Venice, some cynics premised I would be embarking on a clean-up errand with the aim of reaching removing piquing fabric from Shakespeare, much as those who disapprove of Cecil Rhodes would eliminate his statue from wherever it stands. But I am not, as a Jew or as anything else, piqued by a word Shakespeare wrote.

Howard Jacobson at his home in Soho, London. Photograph: Richard Saker for the Observer

My Shylock, if I may employ it like that and he is the Shylock I see when I speak Shakespeares play is not intended as a post-Holocaust better on the original. Because I am deeply touched by his extending reference to his wife, I guess him in constant speech with her. The dead have much to say, just as the living have much they want to hear, and Shylock wont be the first person to have continued those discussions. Astonished by exhilaration impatient as the Wind/ I turned to share the transport Oh! with whom/ But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb. If this is a freedom and does the participate a progressive disservice I apologise for it.( Though Wordsworth did say it was Shakespeare who opened his nature .) What I surely dont apologise for, nonetheless, is following the write when it comes to Shylocks spiritedness and wit.

So much of which is something we become of Shylock is determined by the age of the actor who draws him, the clothes he wears, the accent he is given, the inhumanity of his stare and the curvature of his nose, most of government decisions as to these being unnecessary by anything in the textbook. Last-place summertime, while making a television programme about Shylock in the Venice ghetto, I saw a relatively young actor play him. The result, in particular in the opening exchanges with Antonio and Basanio, was electrifying.

The bristling invasion with which Shylock entertains the first mention from Basanio that Antonio is looking for a loan was not softened.

Three thousand ducats, Shylock muses in that half public, half private method of his. I make I may take his bail. To which Basanio, who is never other than literal, responds Be assured you are able. Shylock deters up the maying and puns on the notion of statement. I will be assured I may. And that I may be assured, I will bethink me … If he already searches more verbally quick for Basanio on the sheet, his gratification of an encounter in which he is the lord looked inhuman, actor to actor. Is the methodology used to his assurance the pound of Antonios flesh already forming in his psyche as he jests?

With Antonios arrival, which he memo with a satirists contempt How like a fawning publican he seems! Shylocks flavours rise so far. Now he can remind, reprimand, retard, offering and disclaim and render again, while a blustering Antonio, standing on basic principles he has forefeited, can do no better than threaten to spew on Shylock again. If it is war now, it is both their doing but, when playing with youth zest, Shylock was having the better of it. When he described the proposed draft bond as a merry play he seemed joyous surely. Tell the relinquish/ Be nominated for an equal pound/ Of your fair flesh, to be cut off and taken/ In what part of your figure it pleaseth me.

Angus Wright( Shylock ), crest, and James Garnon( Antonio) in the RSCs 2008 production of The Merchant of Venice at the Courtyard theatre, Stratford on Avon. Image: Tristram Kenton for the Guardian

These wires should never be delivered anything but flirtatiously. Your fair flesh is an friendship that Antonio, had he been smarter, or less hopeless to self-assured the loan, or less egotistical about his ability to repay it, or little accustomed to flattery, might have recoiled from. Alone moments before, they had been to talk of spew. It takes person very quick on his hoofs to change the colour with such agility. Perhaps most performers, weighed down by their Jewish gabardine and the guessed peculiarity of a Jew manufactured age-old by the relic of his religion, is very hard to applied the requisite verve into this. But the young Venetian Shylock I attended didnt shy from it. For the duration of their deal Antonios flesh was exhibition as fair to Shylock, and whatever of that was derision it was up to the devil himself to find out. As for where Shylock, should Antonio are inadequate to redeem his alliance, merrily proposed to move his cut in what part of your form it pleaseth me why that selfsame devil might have blushed to hear it.

To my ear, the allusion is sex or its good-for-nothing. Interred deep in the antiJewish lores that contacted Shakespeare was a fear of Jews as castrators, and all that medieval Christianity never understood about circumcision. Did Jews eunuch themselves? Did Jewish gentlemen bleed like women? Was that why they needed the blood of Christian children, to oust the blood theyd lost? I dont remark Shakespeare was consciously mentioning all this at the moment that Shylock proposes the bond. But dark as well as comic powers are in play here, the darker, perhaps, for being comic, because what Shylock is building merry with is inchoate Christian terror. To play him as a consummate comedic provocateur, then, as I received him played by a young and juiced-up actor in Venice, is not at all to rescue him from obloquy. But it is to give him the vitality that I feel Shakespeare intended for him. And it is to suggest that the jaunt from Antonios privy parts, which might just ought to have the website please select Shylock for relinquish, to Antonios heart, is not of Shylocks picking only.

Before the idea of deliberate redoubling Shylock making a Jew of Antonio in advance of Antonios making a Christian of him I pull up short. I am not convinced that Shakespeare was ever interested in such abstract, academic mapping. But it is part of his greatness to grant unworked its importance and unsorted old material to have their road without him in a gambling. DH Lawrence wrote astutely about “whats happening in” a living production when the creator throws his finger in the wash, obliging the outcome document. It ceases to be a living design. And Shakespeare was a writer in Lawrences sense, dogma free, permitting characters to find their genuine souls in interaction with one another, and giving language do its own remembering.

It has always seemed incorrect to me to talk of The Merchant of Venice as an anti- or a pro-semitic gambling. Were it either it would be less the play it is. Those who are distressed by what the hell is see as the plays anti-Jewishness find themselves, ironically it seems to me, on the side of the individuals who glory in any anti-Jewishness they find. In both cases, Shylock scandalizes them. The former are scandalized into embarrassment Is that us? the latter into confirmation of what theyve always concluded – Yes, that is you. But for me Shylock lives, with all his human insufficiencies on evidence. We know him by his speech, his repetitions as though no thing said only once can possibly be trusted those strange stutterings in which he addresses himself in a kind of surprise, his sudden absences when he is with others that causes them to wonder whether he is taking note of them at all, his sudden revertings to lyricism, his enraged volleys of speculation , no matter that no one will accept a word of what he supposes, that draw him a kind of fucking cousin to Hamlet. No, there is never any thinking of him as other than a Jew: the Venetians playboys who spit on him one minute and ask for money from him the next will not earmark the Jew in him to be forgotten and, whether as a consequence or by preference, he will not countenance the Jew in him to be forgotten either.

Its hard work. Would he have become life easier for himself had he relented? Perhaps. Its said that finally, as he readies himself to take out Antonios heart, he is the Jew of pitiless legality, the moral antonym of passion as represented by Christians. Were Shakespeare interested in pressing this opposition to the detriment of the Jews he wouldnt have allowed the Christians to substantiate as quite so squalid. They speak of enjoy and think of money. They speak of kindness and evidence nothing. They are merely not more dangerous because they are indolent and forget to be.

In my tale I move Portias world from Belmont to Cheshires Golden Triangle, home to footballers, heiresses and Manchesters most wealthy. I planned no ailment to Cheshire by doing that. But I appear Portias moral universe of childish choices and pettish subterfuges, where protestations of fine experiencing cannot disguise materialism and malice, licenses me to satire. Shylock and Portia now Plurabelle meet again up there. Once more she isnt sure who the Jew is and who the shopkeeper. I never ensure it as my function to give Shylock a second chance. Where thoughts objective for him, they aim forever. But he does have one thing he would like to say to Portia/ Plurabelle. And I allow him to say it.

Shylock Is My Name is publicized next week by Hogarth.

The post Criminal or scapegoat, Shakespeare’s Shylock is a reputation to celebrate appeared first on vitalmindandbody.com.

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[garrettvc]

Weed is special to me. It's the first "thing" that popped the Christian bubble that I grew up in. I thought most people were Christian, like no one was racist, like it was a nice bubble. My thoughts on weed was why would anyone willingly throw their lives away, based on media I had seen and the stereotype the general public had. I always wanted to be someone who could give good advice based on experience. So I had to try smoking so that I could tell people I've done that, don't do that and after I did, I was so amazed at how happy it made me. I always said that my best conversations with God was when I was high. This was the first time in my life I felt lied to. Especially after I researched why its illegal in the 1st place (racist) and to this day (pharmaceutical money). It made me realize that even if 95% of people believe something they can all be totally wrong. The second major time I felt lied to was a Black Studies class, where we learned American history from a perspective other than the victor. EVERYTHING made sense to me after this class. It made me angry that I had to pay for a college class to learn this material when I should be mandatory for every American. It changed almost everything about me; I knew who I was after this class. Immediately I was so upset that I was taught history from such a biased perspective and then I understood why high school was so weird for me being one of the only black kids. It made sense that they all saw me as their "favorite black person" instead of just a friend. I was raised very religious and am very thankful to my church family who has always been there for me and my family. I love my church and I love the people in it. The 3rd major time I felt lied to was when I started reading the Bible for myself. I never read it when I was younger because I thought it had a whole bunch of rules in it and I thought if I never read the rules then God couldn't hold me accountable for what I didn't know. Like how can you possibly know what you don't know, ya know? After my Black Studies class, I needed to know truth at all costs. So naturally I started reading the Bible in search for answers. I would read the Bible and take notes like it was a class. I would go visit old stories I remember and just go from there. With cell phones I loved reading the Bible. I could Google stories to find the exact Bible verse and then basically read a book from its first chapter to understand context. Technology gave me 300 translations in one app. If I was reading a verse and couldn't believe what it said I would look at it in 3 or 4 different translations like damn it really says that in every version lol. Even in church when pastor started preaching I would go into my own little world intently studying the word. Ultimately, the Bible became too difficult to defend from myself. I would try to reason my way out of things like thats the old testament, we don't live under that law anymore. God works in mysterious ways arguments. No human could ever comprehend God's fairness. But the more and more I read the closer I got to doubting it's truth. There are 3 main verses/ideas in the New Testament (countless in the old testament) that I can very easily morally disagree with. And my thoughts on the Bible is either its 100% absolute truth and God's inspired word or it was made up by humans for control. So even one verse in the Bible that is "wrong" discredits the whole for me. To prove something you need to show that it works in every case, to disprove something you only need one example. My 3 main examples are: 1 Timothy 2:11-15 1 Peter 2:18-19 Revelations 12: the whole chapter 1 Timothy 2:11-15 Read it for yourself in several translations to be sure. But what it says is God doesn't allow women to teach men or to tell them what to do. I'm reading this verse basically because of a woman teacher (and preacher) who changed my life for the better. The verse also says that she must listen quietly because Adam was made first and Adam wasn't the one who initially ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Side note: From a Christian perspective all death and suffering in the world come from humans wanting knowledge. Lil peculiar to me. From God's perspective he likes us better when we are dumb and blindly follow. I guess that's why he calls us his sheep. This verse opened my eyes to how shitty women are treated in the Bible and most religions. The Bible teaches the woman to be subservient, I can't teach that shit to my daughter. It lead to questions like who's your favorite woman in the Bible not named Mary. Or why does God have a gender in the first place when that's something assigned based on physical appearance. As ab-soul says, in 66 books they didn't let a lady say one word. 1 Peter 2:18-19 These verses are simple. It says that slaves should obey their masters. Okay, cool I guess I don't agree but I don't disagree either. Then it goes on to say that slaves should obey their master even if the master is bad to them. I can pretty easily say fuck that. As I have gotten a bachelor's degree in Black Studies, these are verses that were used during slavery to convince slaves to behave. I always wondered how masters and slaves could read the same text and interpret it so drastically different. I guess perspective is realer than reality sometimes. So I guess a black woman homosexual should be the least likely Christian American, if we actually read it. Revelations 12 I gotta say that this is my favorite chapter in the Bible. The amount that happens in one chapter is mind blowing but I disagree with this from a science perspective. And I KNOW your not supposed to talk about science and religion together but hear me out. I had no problem with Jesus miracles, I can believe in the Jonah and the whale story, I can even believe most of the chapter. Brief summary: There's a woman with the sun as her clothes and the moon under her feet. She's having a baby and Satan who has shape-shifted into a red dragon with 7 heads and 10 horns is trying to eat the baby (can't make this up). What's crazy is I'm okay with all of this, it doesn't bother me scientifically but then it says that the dragon (Satan) swept it's tail and swept (1/3) or 33.3333% of all the stars out of the sky and flung them to earth. This is so scientifically illiterate its crazy. Googles estimate of stars in the observable Universe (meaning only the ones we can see with telescopes) is 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion stars. Quick math divide by 3 and that's 33.33 billion stars being flung at earth from the devils tail in the future. Also quick astronomy lesson is the sun is an average star. Meaning there are sun's much much bigger than ours. Also our sun is 109 times larger than the earth. So basically I'm saying that if 1 star was flung at earth let alone 33 billion, then the earth would be completely engulfed not hit. The chapter makes it sound like a bunch of asteroids will hit earth. This is like the Bible saying the earth is the center of the universe, it's just wrong. I can let stuff slide all day that can't be proven like miracles but when it talks about something we know for fact, it feels like Kelly Anne Conway trying to convince me there is alternative facts, like bitch I got eyes fuck you talking bout. To put it simply the Bible is translated in English. Read it, it's not that hard. We are the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and kills over religion. In whatever way God talks to you whether it's the still small voice, that feeling of feeling led to do something or even if He appeared burning bush style. If God asked you to kill your child would you? And before you say he would never do that, think about Abraham and just try it. It's a thought experiment that made me realize morals were more important to me than "god". I dont care what anybeing says I'm not going to kill my child because something bigger than me told me to. To conclude, I'm not an atheist and I never say never but I believe I never will be. I think someone who says that they know God doesn't exist for a fact is just as crazy as someone who says that they know for a fact that God exist. I admit that I don't know and I believe it is something that can't be known. I don't really even know why I started writing this or if there's a point but it feels good to express myself in words. Weird.

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