#she finally gets her girls too the sims gods are CRUEL

[sojutrait]

chu hua went into labor and delivered twins again!!! but girls this time!!!

#ts4 #s #*soju save #not even gonna get yalls hope up shes not keeping them IM SORRYKLFG #maybe if it was one girl BUT 5 KIDS?? 3 of which are BABIES?? nah sorry chu hua better luck next time #she finally gets her girls too the sims gods are CRUEL

[msjr0119]

One Shot

Come Home

Congratulations to @ravenpuff02 - 💯 followers, YOU GO GIRL! 🙌🏼

I decided to do one of the prompts that you asked for- we both had the same idea about who would be suitable for this prompt 🤣

Book: The Royal Romance - based around the beginning of the second book.

Characters: Drake Walker, Riley Brooks, Maxwell Beaumont, Bertrand Beaumont (mentioned), Liam Rhys (mentioned) - *All characters belong to Pixelberry*

HIMYM Prompt: “Hey baby, it’s me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand.”

Word Count: 2100ish

Warnings: fluff, slight smut, swearing, bit of comedy, drama nope sorry not this time 🤣

Tags: @pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @yukinagato2012 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @queenjilian @texaskitten30 @kimmiedoo5 @axwalker @lodberg @rafasgirl23415 @cordonianroyalty @burnsoslow @desireepow-1986 @rainbowsinthestorm @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @nikkis1983 @ladyangel70

*****

Drake arrived in New York City, debating whether or not he would prefer to be here or on the engagement tour. Not knowing how she would react to his unexpected visit. That was if he could locate her. Not knowing if he would succeed in bringing her back to Cordonia. After all the Beaumont’s failed, when she was abruptly dragged out of the palace at the Coronation Ball. Thinking back to Maxwell’s words before he left for the airport- he felt like a failure. Not supporting his best friend during the most possible worse time of his life. Being engaged to Madeleine Amaranth- Countess of Fydelia. Or the worlds most; cruel, manipulative, snarky bitch within court- as Drake and others would describe her. To put her in a positive view, she was ambitious- which was an advantage for a future Queen. But Liam, hell anyone would deserve a chance at love rather than be forced to be with her.

“Hey dude. I’ve been thinking. You know because you’re like a nobody.. no one will notice that you’re not on tour. Why don’t you go to New York and try and get little blossom to return.” Fucking nobody, cheers for reminding me Beaumont!

“Liam needs me more now than ever. Brooks chose to not return. If her sponsors couldn’t persuade her to stay, I’ve got no chance.”

“We all need little blossom here. This is where she belongs. What ya say? I’ll tell Liam where you are, he will be forever grateful.” Providing Drake with puppy eyes, he couldn’t be bothered with Maxwell pestering him. Taking the risk, he packed a bag and headed to the airport. What’s the worse that could happen? He thought to himself.

Being back in the Big Apple brought back memories of Liam’s ‘bachelor’ party- the night that they had met her. Riley Brooks. The girl who had stolen everybody’s heart in an instant. Drake, as well as everybody else assumed that she would have been chosen as Liam’s choice at the end of his social season. As much as it hurt Drake to believe this, he was happy for the two of them. However things never go to plan.

“I choose, Lady Madeleine.”

The Beaumont’s tried their best at the airport to convince her that everything would be fine. As much as it could be. That she had the support of everyone including, Liam. Even if it didn’t seem that way. When they arrived back to the palace without her, Liam’s and Drake’s hearts sunk. Both feeling that they had failed her.

****

After hours of sightseeing, Drake decided that now was the time to get his arse into gear- somehow, some way- he needed to find, Brooks. Avoiding ringing or texting her due to her safety, he decided to go back to where it all began. The Dive Bar. Neither Riley nor Daniel that was there that night was working. He was at lost cause. Having a few drinks, there was a slight bit of hope that Riley would be on the later shift. But she wasn’t. Deciding to return to the hotel via a stroll through Central Park, he considered if it would be a better idea to look for her the following day. If the worse came to the worse, he would go to a shop and buy a SIM card- hoping that she wasn’t one of those people who would ignore unknown numbers.

Sitting on a bench, he did what he did best in Cordonia- people watching. There was a few joggers, a few people just having a walk, young teenagers meeting up with their friends.

“What the fuck is that?” He murmured to himself, wondering if his drinks at the dive bar had been spiked. He could drink whiskey as if it was water. Hearing two young women scream as the figure approached them, Drake’s superman ability kicked in. Running over, he noticed that the figure that had startled the women, was bare footed and extremely hairy. Almost impersonating big foot. Hearing a grunt, Drake tackled it to the floor. Not knowing why.

“What the fuck, man?” Drake looked at the man, soon realisation hit him. It wasn’t ‘big foot’ as his crazy imagination believed.

“I’m so sorry....” seeing the man look at him with anger in his eyes, Drake panicked- thinking about how to calm the situation down.

“Cause baby you're a firework...Come on show 'em what your worth...Make 'em go Oh, oh, oh!...As you shoot across the sky-y-y..... I love your wife’s songs.”

“Mate, she’s my ex wife... the bobbies are here. Thank god.” Bobbies? What is he on about? Turning around he muttered to himself. Fuck.

****

“Okay Walker, you have one call. Make it worth your while.” Drake shook his head, it was a mistake. The NYPD was treating him like a piece of shit stuck on the end of their shoe, as if he was a common criminal. Blaming the jet lag for his inconsiderate actions, he had hoped that there was no press following him around from Cordonia. This is all Liam needs, I can just see the headlines now. “King Liam’s best friend, the commoner Drake Walker has been arrested for attacking the British actor and comedian Russell Brand, in New York City.” Dialling the number, he was praying that she was available to answer. If not he was unsure as to who to ring.

“Hello?” Hearing her voice, he was relieved that she had answered.

“Hey baby, it’s me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand. Before you say it, no I wasn’t drunk. Well, I had a few drinks. But we all fuck up at times.”

“Drake?” Pausing, she was unsure as to why she questioned who it was. She would recognise his voice anywhere.

“Yup. Are you gonna help me or what Brooks?”

“What are you doing here? Is this some practical joke?”

“I wish it was... listen... I’m tired as fuck. This is something that Maxwell would probably get himself in to. Please, Brooks. Bail me out, somehow.”

“Fine, but you and I need to talk. If and when they let you out.” Hanging up, he had faith in her. Or so he hoped.

****

The officers allowed Drake to come out of the cell the day after. They explained that the charges had been dropped unexpectedly- if he was to do anything like this again, they wouldn’t be so easy on him. Lucky. That was the word they described him as- especially as he did what he did to a celebrity.

“Hey, marshmallow.”

“You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Hugging her, he was grateful to be out- even if she took her time getting him out.

“Why did you call me baby?” Randomly asking this, he had forgotten calling her that.

“I... Erm... I wasn’t thinking. But now that you’re here... pack your bags. I’m taking you back to Cordonia. Liam needs you.”

“Liam needs me? Is he the only one that needs me?”

“You know how I feel about you, Brooks. But Liam deserves you. Cordonia deserves you.”

“But I don’t need or deserve them....”

“Listen, the scandal... we are all figuring it out. We are all clearing your name.. then you can be Queen. The rightful Queen.”

“I don’t care about being Queen! I love Liam. I do. But....”

“But what? No buts. Stop being so stubborn and pack your bags- come home. To your real home.”

“My home is where you are...”

“Well then, Cordonia it is... stop stalling. The longer we take the further in to the engagement tour it will be.”

“Will you just shut up?” Drake was taken aback by her tone of voice.

“Please, just shut up Drake. Jesus, what happened to the man who would throw out a few sarcastic comments then remain silent? During my time in Cordonia, I fell in love instantly. I was going to return, I just needed time to think - away from everyone...”

“Okay, well why didn’t Bertrand and Maxwell explain that then?”

“Because I pleaded with them not to. It’s going to be hard going back... not just because of the scandal. But because of this whole situation... I love you.”

“You... love me?” After their kiss in the Beaumont study and at the Coronation Ball, he just assumed that there were slight feelings from her end. He never expected for someone like her to love someone like him.

“Yes. I love you, my grumpy marshmallow.” Liam’s going to kill me. Kill us. Why can’t I be happy for once? No. I can’t betray Liam.

“I... Brooks... I love you too, Riley.” Desperate to kiss her, he held off from doing this straight away. Instead he pulled her towards his chest. Holding her tightly, he believed that his heart was skipping beats- finally he had a girl return his feelings. Kissing her on the forehead, he inhaled the sweet scent surrounding her. His inner thoughts were battling against each other- wondering what future they could have together. Would Liam actually hate them for falling for each other? Even though they had said those three words, deep down he still needed confirmation from Riley about what she wanted. How they were going to break their friends heart. Would they return to Cordonia? Or would they make a new life for themselves in the states?

“So what now? I don’t know what to do, Brooks. Liam’s going to kill me... Maxwell said he would explain where I was and what I was doing.”

Riley laughed, knowing full well that Maxwell wouldn’t have informed Liam of the truth. The full truth anyway.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Maxwell has told Liam that you are in Texas, with your Mom. It’s a good job that you rung me rather than Liam... At the airport before I boarded the flight, they came up with an arrangement, for me to come back once they had found Tariq.” Opening her mouth she was about to elaborate on the arrangement, however they soon had company.

“I give you one task to do. Bring little blossom back. Not get arrested! And they call me the dopey one.” Hearing his friends voice, he immediately parted ways with Riley leaving a short gap in between the two of them.

“Max. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on the engagement tour?” Hence why you insisted that I came!

“Lord Maxwell Percival Beaumont is here in the flesh.” Dramatically bowing, Drake wondered if he was on drugs. “You can thank me for bailing you out. They are still at Fydelia. I won’t be missed. Have you both kissed and made up yet?”

“You know?” Drake questioned, wondering how many other people knew. Feeling like the shittest friend to Liam - in a way he regretted falling hard for Riley.

“I’m not stupid, Drake. You never smile. Ever since this one entered our lives you couldn’t stop smiling even if you tried to hide it by being a jerk towards her. I was just waiting for the two of you to confess it...Little blossom confessed her true feelings at the airport...” Riley blushed, her baby blues sparkled as she looked at him adoringly. Pulling her into his embrace, he knew that Maxwell would advert his eyes or maybe not. The Lord was a sucker for a love story. Drake’s hands drifted towards her hips, as they settled he pulled her closer to him. Leaning down, he kissed her softly to begin with. Before they knew it, their lips were in perfect sync and the kiss became more passionate.

“Aww you two... put each other down.” Breaking the kiss they both witnessed Maxwell wearing a goofy smile before pouting his lips towards them. Drake rest his forehead against hers as he cupped her cheeks. Both gazing into each other’s eyes, they were hypnotised- both hearts fluttering inside of their chests.

“Guys, sorry to break up the romance... but we need to figure out how we are going to tell Liam.”

Fuck.

#choices trr #trr fanfic #one shot #long post #drake walker #riley brooks #maxwell beaumont #drake x riley #tw swearing #fluff #tw slight smut

[jxndds]

isekai/reincarnation manhwas

Beatrice

Having previously been a slave in her youth, Chloe was revealed to be an illegitimate child of the King of Elpasa, and is raised to the level of a Princess and renamed Beatrice, all in order to secure a political marriage to a toady man, as the king was unwilling to marry his legitimate daughters to him. After two years of hellish marriage, the Kingdom of Elpasa falls before the blade of the Empire's Archduke, its greatest hero. In order to survive her new enslavement Princess Beatrice re-assumes the guise of 'Chloe' as a slave of the Empire. But then, she catches the eye of that very same hero...

The Archduke wonders who is this squirrelly short-haired young woman, who is so surprisingly educated for a slave, and who is terrified of him, not knowing that he butchered the Elpasa Royal Family in front of her and enslaved her himself. What will become of them, since she proves to be one of his only sources of levity?

 Beware of the Villainess

I became the villainess of a novel! Do I hate it? No! I find it rather nice. A duke’s daughter = a jobless rich person. How I can miss out on a chance like this?! This is the best chance to just enjoy life. I should throw out the main plot and just live life how I want to! Not long after waking up as the villainess, I witnessed my fiancé, the novel’s male lead, the crowned prince, cheating. I saw him embrace a lady other than I and he was smiling so bright. I was brought to tears… Just kidding, I didn’t cry! My tears are worth too much to be wasted on that garbage. Instead of tears, I yelled out, “Your highness, are you trash?” The main character with a personality of a refreshing soda! The girl-crush protagonist that will completely throw out the main story! Why? Because it’s a waste for a girl to be surrounded by cheap cars. (cars = men)

 Death is the Only Ending for the Villainess

Penelope Eckart reincarnated as the adopted daughter of Duke Eckart and the villainess of a reverse harem dating sim. The problem is, she entered the game at its hardest difficulty, and no matter what she does, death awaits her at every ending! Before the "real daughter" of Duke Eckart appears, she must choose one of the male leads and reach a happy ending in order to survive. But the two brothers always pick a fight with her over every little thing, as well as a crazy crown prince, whose routes all lead to death. There's even a magician who's enamoured with the female lead, and a loyal slave knight! But somehow, the favourability meters of the male leads increase the more she crosses the line with them!

 Doctor Elise

Song Ji Hyeon is a surgeon, as well as a genius doctor appointed as the youngest lecturer at Seoul University. She carries memories of a previous life as Elise De Clorence who lived as a wicked woman. Suddenly an unexpected accident occurs and when she wakes up, she's back in her previous life?! Will Elise be able to correct her past mistakes?

 Empress of Another World

Crossing over into another world and time after a freak accident, Korean highschool girl Sabina is taken in by a duke of the Crentia kingdom— only to soon be offered up to the ugly old emperor as a concubine. When the king is killed by a mysterious assassin, Sabina must face the poisonous circle of other candidates in a battle for the royal seat. Can she attract the loyalty and affection of the men and women she needs on her side to survive?

 I Am a Child Of This House

"Pink Eyes", a young girl, has lived a life filled with battery and abuse by her mother, but she has two unexpected factors that may play a role in her life: first, she has gained memories of her previous life as Seo Young, a 23 year-old Korean woman, and second, she is a nobleman's illegitimate daughter.

One day, her prostitute mother takes her to the empire's sole Duke and claims that the girl is his child to gain alimony from him. Although he seems to not believe her, he nevertheless buys "Pink Eyes" for 20,000 gold. With that, her new life as "Estelle" starts.

But what truly awaits her? And is she really a child of this house?

 I Became The Emperor's Daughter One Day

A car accident allowed her to cross the magical world, she was reincarnated to a baby! She participated in a competition and won. Then, she was adopted by the emperor and became a princess. However, the other adopted princesses are all given with luxury treatment. But why is it that only she lives in small firewood house? She is also beaten and bullied by the other princesses? She will do whatever it takes to fight back. When she shows a brave fighting spirit, the cold-blooded emperor finally came and said to her: "This little brat, is a little interesting."

 I Became the Villain's Mother

I became the mother of 'Ainspanner', who was presumed to be the final mastermind of this novel. I was supposed to be a bad stepmother who abused him when he was a child and eventually became the first to be killed by him when he became an adult.

I was thinking of a plan to escape my tragic fate when I saw the young future villain and the naive, innocent look on his face. However...

"What an adorable child! He’s so cute I want to bite him! How could anyone abuse him?"

He was so cute that I couldn’t believe he would become a villain when he grew up. So, I decided. I will protect him. This way, he’ll save me too when he’s all grown up.

 I Choose the Emperor Ending

Obsessed with medieval fantasies, Marina develops a revolutionary VR device that can bring fictional worlds to life. Her dreams come true when she transports herself to Lasnorok, the setting of her own novel. The problem is, she can't get back out! Disguised as a runaway slave boy named Rino, she comes face-to-face with the main character she created, the ambitious Edward Allen Dihas. Can Marina help him overthrow the emperor and survive to make it out alive?

 I don't want to be Empress [Empress? Empress!]

I don’t want to be the empress! Serena, the daughter of a noble is full of intelligence, status and appearance. But the truth is that she said that in her past life she was aware of the tragedies that could occur in the future. It will be that Serena can escape from this tragedy!

 Inso's Law

“I just want to live a normal life, why is this happening to me!”

Your average student Ham Dan, whose hobby was reading “Law of Inso” wakes up to a beautiful novel like heroine. But even in the world of fantasy novels, her role is no different. Stuck as the childhood friend of the heroine, her normal everyday life comes to an end, becoming more twisted by her strong character.

 Seduce the Villain's Father

Upon opening my eyes after a bus accident, I found myself in the fantasy world of a webnovel I enjoyed reading... the only catch is, I reincarnated 20 years before the novel begins! Reborn as Princess Yerenica of the small Lebovny kingdom, I'm determined to change the future in order to prevent the series of unfortunate events that will soon occur.

In the original story, my older sister, Tejavia, is pregnant with the future female lead, when she's suddenly kidnapped by the Belgoat Empire's emperor. But in my desperate attempts to protect her, I got kidnapped instead! And as if that wasn't bad enough, my body is ridiculously weak to magic. But... strangely enough, whenever I'm by the emperor, I feel fine!

The only way to save the emperor, who's destined to die at the hands of his own son after marrying the villainess, and save myself from being afflicted by magic... is for us to marry!

 Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid

I woke up one day inside the story of a novel as the maid of the disgraced Duke and side character, Alejandro Quillo Vel Laviti. Will Alejandro’s fate change with the my appearance as a new ‘extra’ character? What is the truth behind his cursed mark?

 Suddenly Became A Princess One Day [Who Made Me A Princess]

When I opened my eyes, I was a princess!

But why does it have to be a princess in this romance novel who has the fate of death from her own blood-related father!

If I want to live, I will have to stay away completely of his sight. However...

"Since when did this kind of scumbag started living in my castle?"

Not a single drop of blood nor tear to drop, that cruel and cold emperor, Claude!

Will Athanasia who has entered his eyes survive?

"I... What should I do..."

 Survive as the Hero's Wife

The protagonist has been reincarnated as Canaria, the villain of a popular cliché novel. According to the novel, she is destined to be executed by her husband! Determined to survive, her objective is simple: get a divorce! Will her plans be enough to save her life, or will unexpected circumstances arise to complicate matters even further?

 The Emperor's Companion

After making a deal with God, she is reincarnated into a new world fully ready to dedicate her life to her younger sibling. However, things aren't so simple when she attracts the attention of the Emperor. Can't a girl just look after her sibling with no man?

 The Emperor's Daughter [Daughter of the Emperor]

Ariadna Lereg Ilestri Pre Agrigent. And so my life begins with this ridiculously long name, born to royalty and the centre of attention — all because of one dangerous man; the veritably insane tyrant king, ruthless conqueror of ten empires, nightmare of all continents… and my father?! Will I be able to survive this maniac?

 The Evil Lady's Hero

Yunifer Magnolia was the best friend of the novel's heroine, Rael Cania, until her love for the male lead turned her into a villainess. Her harassment of Rael, Ishid's lover, condemned her to death at the hands of Cassian, the Crown Prince.

"So I reincarnated as... Yunifer?!"

This Yunifer wants to live, though! To stay safe, she decides to avoid all the main characters of the novel. But one drunken encounter with Ishid ruins all her plans...

"I don't do one-night stands."

"Then let's say we just started dating!"

Will Yunifer be able to correct her own twisted fate? Or will she face death once more, as foretold by the novel?

 The Golden-Haired Elementalist

I thought I was dead, but when I woke up, I was reincarnated as a nobleman's daughter?! The only thing I did in the seventeen years of my first life was studying. Now that I'm alive again, I won't live just to study! The second life of an ordinary middle school girl with a slightly strange personality, Jeanie Crowell, begins an unstoppable journey on this continent!

 The Justice of Villainous Woman

With a broken heart, Hwayoung falls headfirst into the river by accident but wakes up as infamous villainess Satiana Altisee Kaylon. Coming to terms with her new life as sole daughter of House Kaylon, Satiana is soon chosen as a candidate for the next empress! In the palace full of schemers and liars, she must become a cold-blooded villainess to win her royal seat by the crown prince - or her new family will face grave danger! Will being perfectly evil really be enough? ‘Cause even villains need love!

 The Pet of the Villainess [The Antagonist's Pet]

"My dear villainess, do whatever you want to do. Just don't see that son of a bitch."

A girl dies and is reincarnated as Sasha, the daughter of a poor noble family in a romance novel she used to read. To survive in her new life, she approaches noble ladies with her innocent appearance and cold wit. Hence, she got the nickname 'The Nobles' Pet.'

Rebecca, the villainess of the original work and the Prince's fiancee, appears in front of Sasha, who's using her talent to live the sweet life. Knowing the end of the original, Sasha tried to stay away from Rebecca, but she cannot take her eyes off her cool and collectedness! So Sasha uses her cuteness as a deadly weapon to stand between Rebecca and the womanizer Crown Prince... and... can Sasha survive and win Rebecca's favor?

 The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

Poisoned to death by her own betrothed?! Eunha didn’t wake up in a novel’s story just to get killed off again as an unfortunate extra! To change her story she needs a cover… 6 months pretending to be the fake fiancée of the novel's male protagonist, Duke Noah Wynknight. But will this cold-hearted, angel-faced demon of a man really help her avoid another ill-fated ending?!

 The Youngest Princess

The archmage who ruled over a magic kingdom.

One day, she was reborn as the youngest daughter of the empire!

“I’ll just play along and pretend to be a baby.

...But don’t you think you guys like me a little too much?”

They won’t leave her alone.

 This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage

The Sophen country had been destroyed by the empire. The sole daughter of a count family, Leylin Efran, had to find a husband to be able to inherit her family. So she wouldn't have to suffer through loveless marriage, Leylin decided to find a husband to have a one-year contract marriage with. In the middle of her quest, a young and dashing man appeared before her. Leylin was convinced this is the right man for her, but is he truly the answer to Leylin's perilous situation?

 Villainous Princess

One day I woke up in the body of Violet, the villainess character of the novel "For Shannon." Violet had a beautiful face, wealth, and was even a princess! She was a woman who had almost everything but her life was ruined when she chased after the one thing she didn't have - love. Now that I'm her, I can change her fate because I don't need love!

#isekai reincarnation romance lightnovel manga webtoon korean recommendation

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #6 (1978)

Is The Secret a story about Cerebus manifesting reality because that's what he winds up doing pretty near constantly, right? Like Elrod and the Regency Elf and the Black Tower and his relationship with Jaka and running a tavern?

I just developed a massive migraine thinking about doing reviews for the Latter Days Woody Allen issues and had to lie down for three weeks. Based on the cover alone, I have no idea which Cerebus story this is. Is it the one where he first meets Jaka and gets drunk on Apricot Brandy? Or is it the one where we learn he's a hermaphrodite and there are three aardvarks? No, no! Probably too soon for that! Dave didn't yet realize he wanted smart and interesting people reading his comic book; he was just looking for us fantasy loving fools hoping for some chainmail bikini side boob with a little black and white barbarian battle gore to go with it. Although for people wanting side boob and gore that was also in color, there was a better option out there: the four collected Elfquest volumes. Especially Volume Four! Elf orgy, baby! Skywise dicks like five elf maidens at once! Although how that's possible, I don't know. It should have been Nightfall taking five elf cocks at once. Maybe six. They're small! Deni announces in the "A Note from the Publisher" bit that she and Dave are getting married! Is that exciting enough for an exclamation point even though we know it ends in tragedy? Is divorce a tragedy? Probably not on the scale of, say, the sinking of the Titanic. But then again, was that really a tragedy? I know a lot of poor people died but don't forget a lot of robber barons did too! If there had been a Schoolhouse Rock song about Astor and Guggenheim and Straus drowning when the Titanic sunk, it probably would have been my favorite Schoolhouse Rock song. The chorus (and maybe title!) would have been about Archibald Butt and, sadly, that, as opposed to the "Eat the Rich" theme, is probably why I would have liked it so much. In Dave Sim's Swords of Cerebus essay, he explains how he came up with Jaka. She represented every girl Dave ever had an unrequited crush on. Not that he knew the crush was expressly unrequited since he never actually spoke to any of the girls he had a crush on. He decided stalking was easier. I get it! That's exactly how somebody who thinks women as objects is a much more attractive package than a woman who can express their own agency and beliefs! Dammit. That last statement hurt my feelings because I also had a problem expressing my feelings toward the ladies. Although that time Marilyn Mendoza came up to me in the library and said, "I hate being stared at," I did stop staring at her! It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life but I stopped! I didn't stop obsessing about her and wishing we could do whatever it was two people in love did to each other (hold hands and drink milkshakes out of one straw while staring in each others' eyes?). Eventually she, apparently, couldn't take not being stared at anymore so she began talking to me again. She also slipped me a note that said, "I love you anyways," and she tried to give me one of her school pictures unsolicited and she convinced her friends to take the phys ed class I was in and she asked for the rose I had on my desk that I was going to give her for her birthday but had chickened out giving it to her. And if that doesn't convince you that by not staring at her, I won her affection because you're a cynical jerk who still thinks the rom-coms where the guy wins the girl through sheer determination is a pox on society (which, I mean, it kind of is but that admission goes against my real life experience I'm relating), this is what she wrote in my 9th grade yearbook:

Sure, it sounds like a 9th grade Yearbook form letter! But check out the kind of jealous shade thrown at Kim and the "Luv ya kid!" up the side!

If you're wondering how I didn't immediately sweep her up in my arms after reading this and declare my undying adolescent love (You know? The kind of undying love that only adolescents can have which, also, dies rather quickly), it's because my friend Sal noticed the "Luv ya kid!" which I had failed to notice. This was halfway through summer and Marilyn wound up going to a different high school than I did. Although Mr. Edwards in my Spanish 2 class called her name for attendance on the first day of 10th grade! Stupid cruel life! After that slight confessional, you'll realize why I was primed for the Cerebus/Jaka will they/won't they drama to come. Cerebus has arrived in Iest and quickly meets a dying man who may or may not have expressed to him The Secret. Judging by the way the guys who were chasing and/or killed him, E'lass and Turg, are fantasizing about a future full of gold crowns, my guess is The Secret is the location of some treasure and not the means to bend the universe to your will simply by desiring shit. They believe Cerebus has learned The Secret so Turg tries to beat it out of him. But as we, the enraptured and attentive readers, have learned from the previous five issues, Cerebus can't be bested in battle. And since force doesn't work like it almost always does 100% of the time which is why America's diplomatic policy is "Don't even tell us your problems because we'd rather just beat the shit out of you until you shut the fuck up," E'lass decides to get Cerebus drunk. People always blab secrets when they're drunk! Which is why I try not to write more than 35% of my reviews while drunk. That way, you can't tell when I'm actually confessing to some gross misconduct I engaged in in my youth or I'm just writing a satirical joke about how reckless and terrible young men are in general.

This scene makes me think of Bill Cosby which makes me think of the Picture Pages song which makes me sad that I can only now sing it as, "Picture pages! Picture pages! Now it's time for Picture Pages! Time to grab your condoms and Rohypnol!"

I'm ignoring the spelling error because I'm above petty gripes. Once Cerebus is drugged, E'lass turns Cerebus' attention to the dancer, Jaka.

Love at first sight of side boob.

Cerebus climbs on stage to watch Jaka dance and nobody cares because he's an animal. Animals can get away with murder around pretty women! They can sniff their crotches and paw at their breasts and put their tongues straight up their noses. It's like, if you're going to scold me for doing it, maybe scold animals for doing it too? Be consistent in your messaging, women! Is it funny and slightly embarrassing when your crotch is sniffed or is it the actions of a sex pest?! Would it help if I wore a dog costume everywhere I went, especially yoga?

I'm going to pretend this doesn't read like a Cerebus getting an erection joke so that I appear more intelligent and sophisticated.

Jaka tells Cerebus he is cute. Jaka also refers to Jaka in the third person exactly like a princess from Palnu wouldn't. But that's what makes her stripping disguise so excellent! What also makes it excellent is that Dave Sim didn't really know who Jaka was yet. Which is fine! It's much harder to come up with a 300 issue story all at once and then remember it and then write it exactly as you conceived it without changing and updating it as you learn and grow with the work. It's much easier to write an off the cuff story about a stripper and a barbarian and unrequited love. It doesn't make it any less entertaining because it wasn't pre-planned. Also, the fun thing about comic books is when a writer takes a story from the past and recontextualizes it. That's why Geoff Johns and Grant Morrison have always been so popular! That's all they fucking do! A brawl breaks out because Cerebus is in a bar. It's the kind of thing that has to happen once the protagonist walks in a bar. And you can even role-play your very own bar brawl in my introductory Places & Predators module, "Welcome to Poorchaghoul!" While Cerebus is distracted by the brawl, E'lass and Turg go backstage to threaten Jaka. If she doesn't get The Secret from Cerebus, they'll make sure she never dances again. So that's how the Cirinists eventually take over Iest! Jaka decides not to help them and instead of breaking her legs like the reader assumes their threat means, they bring in the Cirinist matriarchy to take over and outlaw dancing! They're so clever! Jaka lies to Cerebus and tells Cerebus E'lass and Turg will kill her if she doesn't help them. But that's not what they said at all! Oh, those wily women and their words and sex appeal! Cerebus, desperate to drink apricot brandy out of one of Jaka's orifices (is the belly button an orifice or is it more of a scar? Let me check the dictionary definition: "an opening, as of a pipe or tube, or one in the body, such as a nostril or the anus." Woah, dictionary! You couldn't have chosen a different second example?!), beats the shit out of E'lass. After that, things get sexy (if you're into woman-on-animal action).

Unbeknownst to Cerebus, rich is the last thing Jake wants to be again. Her dream is to settle down with a cuck with a Messiah complex while dancing illegally for rent until she gets her boss killed. Now that's the life!

Cerebus lays out his future plans with Jaka once they're rich. You can read about those adventures in Going Home which won't happen for another two hundred or so issues. Because before that happens, Cerebus has to come down from his Rohypnol trip, forget about Jaka, become Prime Minister, remember Jaka, be rude to Jaka, become Pope, lose everything, live as a guest in Rick and Jaka's apartment, travel through space, talk to "God," and finally run a bar and lose all of his friends. While shopping for a present for Jaka, Cerebus sobers up, forgets about Jaka, and decides to get unsober again as quickly as possible. Meanwhile Turg and E'lass get their comeuppance. It's such a great comeuppance that I think they never again appear in Cerebus. I could be wrong but I think they basically get replaced by the more entertaining McGrew Brothers, Dirty Fleagle and Dirty Drew. Cerebus runs into Jaka one final time but doesn't remember her.

Deni said this final page was her wedding present from Dave.

In "A Note from the Publisher," Deni writes, "This issue is special to me in that the ending is my wedding present from Dave. No joke!! It's different and when you read it, I think you'll understand." Dave, in his essay, writes, "I can remember trying to come up with the ending for a few days. I knew that Cerebus would have to snap out of it eventually. It was at that point that I realized the essence of the problem. I had been thinking of Cerebus' point of view of the situation, but I hadn't stopped to consider how Jaka was reacting to him." So Deni's wedding present from Dave Sim was to give a female character in his book a point of view? To give her agency? To show her as not an object of Cerebus' lust but as a human being with feelings of her own? Nice one! And it was cheap! This month's Aardvark Comment contains a letter from Elric creator Michael Moorcock! Holy smokaroonies! He was entertained by Elrod but just wanted to point out that Elrod looked nothing like Elric based on Moorcock's writing. It was really based on an artist's rendition of another artist's rendition of Elric and the first rendition wasn't based on any written description at all! I have a vague memory of reading the Elric books and referring to the cover and thinking, "Is that supposed to be Elric? Weird." This issue begins the one page of reader art that Sim pays $150.00 for. This one is of a kid doing art while his "lacks discipline" report card lies at his feet. I think Dave Sim might have screwed up this first one because there's no attribution other than the artist's signature which you can't really make out. I'm sure he'll correct that next issue since he made a correction from the previous issue here: he added the rest of the Swords of Cerebus essay that was missing last issue. Cerebus #6 Rating: A-. This is a solid effort and begins to really show Sim's plotting ability and narrative control. It's got a lot of good jokes in it as well, both in dialogue and slapstick forms. One thing I haven't mentioned is just how good Dave Sim is at slapstick. It might seem like the easiest humor to work into a comic book but it takes some really well-crafted writing and careful planning of action across panels which not a lot of writers and artists can pull off. It really helps that Dave's doing both so that one or the other job isn't the cause of it all falling apart. Also, it was Jaka's first appearance!

#Cerebus #Dave Sim

[nikatyler]

When I finished my exam today, I was really excited and full of energy but now all of that is gone and I’m starting to see how stressful this day has actually been. I’m so incredibly tired! I went to bed at 11 pm yesterday, fell asleep quite quickly, woke up again at midnight. I slept until 4 am and then I kept waking up and falling asleep in what I believe were really short intervals. I don’t know which of these nightmare scenarios I had were actual nightmares and which ones I came up with thanks to overthinking. It was some crazy shit - one of them, probably the craziest one, I actually shared on twitter yesterday. For a little bit, I was worried that I would wake up without the ability to read or write. And even though I know that’s impossible, I was so worried and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Thing is, my anxious perfectionist brain always jumps to “either you do well on this or you die” mindset. Which then leads to me being stressed out days before and doing crazy things because of that. Just to name a few: I unfollowed a lot of blogs because following so many was driving me insane. I muted a bunch of people on twitter and called it self care even though it was probably just petty. Last but not least, I’m generally more mean and insensitive than I usually am these days and I hate that but also, I just can’t help it. (hey please if I was mean to you, don’t give up on me, it’ll get better again I swear) So yeah, fun times. Can’t wait for it to be finally June so all of this is over. 

To quote my favourite musical: hold your breath and count the days, we’re graduating soon, college will be paradise if I’m not dead by June.

Onto those replies now.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “So…I was just casually setting up another scene, posing the sims and...”

This is DESTINY of this generation - trying to die (hard)

Just wait for when I focus on Regan. That girl is...going in her parents’ footsteps. I swear it’s not my fault. Seriously. I would never want for any of my important legacy sims to die.

Okay well, I might have planned to kill off Tyler at one point like year and a half ago but we don’t talk about that. Ever. Not since that dumb “one year with Rose triplets” thing. Don’t worry about it.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Again, sims logic. Don’t question it....”

NO MIRACLE NO

Miracles shouldn't die!

How dare you!

When I said "don't return to aliens" I didn't mean "die instead"

pxelblobs replied to your photoset “Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Again, sims logic. Don’t question it....”

Noooo Miracle!

I knew that sims could burn to death if the weather is too hot and everything, but it has never happened to me and I certainly didn’t expect it to happen now. I was freaking out. That was not how I wanted her story to end.

Then I went to twitter and asked people what they want me to do, but before the poll ended, I actually decided that nope, I can’t do this, she has to stay alive. By the way, if I remember correctly, people voted for leaving her dead. Sooo...yeah.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “WAIT HOLD UP IS MIRACLE LIKE DEAD DEAD”

I guess I wasn't paying too much attention until this ask BUT MIRACLE'S DEAD WTF

Lmao I can see this happening to me. In fact, it has definitely happened to me before - just casually scrolling down my dash, not paying attention to anything (which is why I never go to my dash anymore) at all and then suddenly I realize - wait a minute, when did that sim die?! What did I miss?

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Yeah well, Adam, maybe you could’ve done something when you still had...”

Will Smith voice: It's rewind time

I laughed so hard at this because I literally made the same joke a few posts later. Great minds think alike! *let’s pretend I’m a great mind ok, at least for a few seconds*

treason-and-plot replied to your post “WAIT HOLD UP IS MIRACLE LIKE DEAD DEAD”

This game is so cruel

Yup. 

It couldn’t have happened to like...I don’t know. Esme during the uni storyline. Or Fred during James’s storyline. Guys, do you remember Fred the mustache guy? Good old times.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Adam: “Hmmm, I wonder what I should do?”

I just thought... IT'S A BEACH THERE IS PLENTY OF WATER AROUND

I KNOW

THAT’S WHAT BOTHERED ME THE MOST IT LITERALLY DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE

*slow clap for sims logic*

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “At least she gets a nice gravestone…I guess. Aaand the dog is useless...”

:(

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “At least she gets a nice gravestone…I guess. Aaand the dog is useless...”

I can't believe she died this way! :'(

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Miracle baby oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen I’m...”

:( :( :(

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Miracle baby oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen I’m...”

������ poor miracle

The only thing I really enjoyed about this is that these posts fell on the weekend before April 1st. I know this isn’t something to be laughed at...but the timing was so perfect. If I had planned this, it wouldn’t have worked.

Then again, let’s be real, I wouldn’t have planned this. This is just cruel.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

Whew I'm glad she's still alive

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

PHEW!!!!!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

Yay!

I’ve never been more excited to quit without saving

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Lydia: “Sorry I’m late! I didn’t mean to, I promise. Siblings got in...”

"Oh yeah and my mom died in an alternate reality but it's cool, it's cool."

I mean, she’s definitely heard about all the crazy shit that has happened to her family over the years, so maybe it doesn’t seem as a big deal to her anymore.

It’s been a while since I last said Roses are a mess but they really are a huge mess lmao

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “cloudberry-sims: ???: Sorry but you can’t read that book yet! Stone:...”

Zillah will most likely appear after I finish Strangerville!

Yay! You don’t have to rush though, as long as she appears one day, it’s cool. It’s just a little sad when I spend a lot of time working on a sim and then the person who requested them never uses them.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “This girl is no longer on fiyah, fiyaaaaah”

Next time you try to die don't do it, okay?

Oh trust me I’ll keep an eye on her from now on

It’s what Caleb would have wanted

wait did I just make myself cry thinking about this

dreamsongsims replied to your photoset “I’m still not sure why she’s doing martial arts. Like yeah, I wanted...”

That moment when you just can't remember what your plans were for your sim! I have that a lot. LOL

I guess I do kinda remember the purpose for the story, the problem is...I don’t actually understand why I did it that way?

create-a-sim replied to your photo “someday i’ll be famous and you’ll have to admit you were wrong.”

Wow, this looks super cool!

Thank you! I really enjoyed working on this. It’s just one of the many outcomes of my “Tyler gets famous” headcanons, which by the way are one of my favourite things to think about these days.

onemoreordinarysimblr replied to your photo “Am I late to the party?”

Very cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “I had to do another one.”

This is a nice looking room!!

berrysweetboutique replied to your photo “I had to do another one.”

They're too fun and this is way cute ♥

Thank you guys! I really enjoy the idea of this. I’m definitely not done with this trend yet! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize...”

Oh it sucks that that person isn't around anymore(( losing friends is always hard

Btw, the edit is really cute!

Yeah...I was going through my old posts yesterday, saw some asks and got sad about this again. I miss talking daily to a person who was so much like me in so many ways. I don’t want to go into details but yeah...never thought I could miss a person I’ve never actually met and here I am.

desira-sims replied to your post “�� ��?”

I feel ya on the bands. My music tastes seems to go from one extreme to the next.

It’s so hard to limit yourself to just one genre! I don’t understand how some people can do this. Well, I don’t actually believe such people exist...everyone has their “guilty pleasure” and no one will change my mind.

desira-sims replied to your post “I associate you with Ross and Caleb :D (i really need to catch up on...”

This is 100% me.

It’s clear, if a sim wants to be the mascot of my blog, they have to be a bisexual disaster.

I mean, when I look at myself, that makes sense. I myself am one big bisexual disaster.

mellowaliens replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck hon!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck! ❤️ You can do it!

desira-sims replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck!!! Sending positive vibes your way.

whysimstho replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good Luck!

audrey-rosewadsworth replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

GOOD LUCK

audrey-rosewadsworth replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU

poisonfireleafs replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Good luck tomorrow :)

*hugs* Thank you so much guys. ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Good morning guys, I'm still freaking out about the exam. I'm taking...”

Just take deep breath and don’t stress too much. You’ll do great on the exam.   Congrats on your milestone!

I started feeling so much better when I left home. I went out and I was like okay, I can’t do much about this anymore, can I? And then I met up with my friend at the bus stop and we just talked and suddenly I wasn’t scared anymore because I realized we’re all in this together - the two of us, the rest of our class and all the other 80 000 (or something) students in our country who were taking the exam as well.

My biggest problem was that the exam started at 12.30 and ended at like 2.30 pm. If it had been in the morning, I wouldn’t have had so much time to worry about it. Thank the lord that’s the case with the English exam tomorrow, it starts at 8 am which is an okay school time for me - on a normal day, classes start at 7.50.

Also, thank you! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Yay, congrats!

desira-sims replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Woot woot!

mellowaliens replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Good luck and congrats!

Now I’ll have to wait for the results...that’s gonna be fuuuuuun.

By the way, people are already making memes based on the topics and I enjoy that. People who didn’t take the exam can’t understand, but it’s really funny, I swear.

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset

awwwwww! ♥ ♥ ♥

They’re definitely among the cutest couples I have in my game right now! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Courtney: “Uhh…” Regan: “Wait. You…you guys? You’re like…” Felix: “Not...”

Well I kinda shipped themXD

I must admit that I didn’t at first, but then I noticed it could work. Whenever Regan said something bad about Felix, Courtney defended him, and so I thought...what if they went to uni together? Could they fall in love? Turns out they could :D

#replies #tiny-tany-thaanos #pxelblobs #harmoniouspixels #alfalfalegacy #treason-and-plot #whysimstho #dreamsongsims #create-a-sim #onemoreordinarysimblr #berrysweetboutique #desira-sims #mellowaliens #audrey-rosewadsworth #poisonfireleafs #simlovinggirl

[notbecauseofvictories]

Anything about the line 'sext: people died for you. i bet you liked it.' from How to Make Love to the God of War for Leia Organa pretty please, your writing is so gorgeous and it would fit Ashe Vernon's poetry so beautifully. ILY thank you so much I hope this promptathon is fun for you.

War—what is it good for?

….well, you.

Mostly you.

Almost exclusively you.

(This is not an apology. It is maybe an explanation.)

.

Something you don’t realize until you’re standing in the control room, watching the battle for the Death Star: there’s very little screaming. 

You’re intel, not military; the only experience you have of a warfront is battle sims and holos. The stories you’ve read have all been infantry battles—sentients dodging blaster fire and scattering their blood on the earth, calling for a meddroid even as the concussive missile shakes the air. The sound of AT-ATs, all creaking joints and thunder; clone troopers calling out commands. Droids, screaming. War was loud, full of mud and blood, you knew.

But here, from the control room on Yavin, there’s just the quiet whir of the servers, orders given and received. You can’t hear the chatter of the squadrons—they’re talking to the controllers, who are bent over consoles furiously reading out data. Sometimes one of the sensors beeps—but quietly, as if it’s worried about making a fuss in the huge, heavy silence. Blue Squadron goes down in a rain of fire, their ships immolated against the vast shell of the Death Star, but all you know of it is Lieutenant Rula’s announcement in a cool, flat voice. 

It’s all very civilized.

Somehow, even in victory, you feel a little—cheated.

.

(This is not true. It is not all battle sims and holos; you remember war.

You are eight when you dream of your father on the battlefield. He is holding a sword of fire, and he breathes too loudly, harsh in your ears—you are scared, and so you reach for him, seeking comfort. He turns on you, and he is shadow and death and that awful sword of fire, not your father at all.

He says in a breath of smoke, who—?

You wake up to your father’s arms, real and warm, cradling you to his chest. It was only a nightmare, Bail says, as you cry wracking sobs. Shh, it wasn’t real.

You can still taste it on the inside of your mouth sometimes, ash and fear. Later—after you kiss your brother and find blood in your teeth; after you watch Darth Vader’s corpse burn from the safety of the treeline—you will learn this is your inheritance.)

.

INT. HANGAR ON YAVIN IV - NIGHT

LEIA

is trailing her fingers along laser burns deeply-scored into the side of an X-wing. HAN SOLO approaches, and leans against the body of the ship. He clears his throat pointedly, startling her and making her turn. For a moment, they look at one another, their faces shadowed by the half-dark.

HANAren’t princesses supposed to need their beauty sleep?

LEIAYou need it more than I do, Solo.

HAN(clutching his chest in feigned agony) You wound me, your worshipfulness.

Leia snorts, turning back to the X-wing. Han watches her, and when her back is turned, his expression is something tentative, on the verge of adoring. He seems to catch himself, and swallows, ducking his head and scuffing his shoe against the duracrete floor.

HANSo—uh, you ever flown one of these things?

LEIAI learned once, when I was young. My father gave me lessons on an old A-wing, my mother hated it. But…not much since. 

HAN(hesitantly) Probably for the best, right? You’re an—asset, too valuable to risk.

Leia’s expression twists, and her hand spasms on the side of the X-wing, almost curling into a fist.

LEIA(bitterly) Don’t you think I’m willing to take the same chances as everyone else? That I’m not—I’m not willing to fight, or die for the Rebellion?

HANWell, I don’t think you were on that Death Star for kicks, no.

Leia relaxes slightly, mollified.

HAN (con’t)But you don’t…have to, you know. That’s what I  keep trying to tell Luke, you don’t have to. The galaxy is a big place, not all of it belongs to the Empire. You could go, you could run—find some…handsome farmer somewhere, have lots of kids. Live happily ever after.

Han glances at her. She is staring at him like he’s grown a second head.

LEIA(slowly, incredulously) Is that…is that supposed to work?

HANWhat?

LEIAAlderaan—my planet, my home—was burned out of the sky. Everything and everyone I have ever loved is gone. Even before that, I spent five years in the Imperial Senate, listening to heartless men condemn entire species to extinction because they were greedy, or afraid. Even if I could run, even if that wouldn’t be the—most cowardly, evil thing I could think of, what makes you think—why wouldn’t I want to see them all dead?

Leia’s voice has been gradually getting louder, until she is almost shouting. The hangar is silent in the wake of this pronouncement, all but for her uneven breathing. Her eyes might be wet, but she she is staring at Han with such fury that he knows better than to bring it up.

LEIA(breathlessly) I would kill them myself, if anyone would let me.

HAN(swallowing, looking away) I’m just saying, you’ve got a choice.

LEIAFine. I choose this.

Han watches her walk away, into the dark of the hangar.

[FADE OUT]

.

It would be inappropriate to return from your first battle—really only a skirmish, with a cadre of stormtroopers you weren’t aware were scheduled to refuel there—dancing on the balls of your feet, still humming to the awful song of concussion-blasts and shouting. Your arm and shoulder ache from holding a blaster, bracing against the kickback.

There are things you are allowed to be pleased about, and you are: you brought all your squadron home, Luke is safe; the mission was a success and the people of the planet will be able to better mount a resistance of their own. You’d have to be spice-addled, cruel, to love how unerring your sight was, watching bodies in white armor crumple. There’s blood on your uniform from the officer, who took a blast to the chest and coughed up scarlet and bile as you interrogated him—you wear it like a badge of honor, all through Ra’vik Base.

You’re glad to have served the Rebellion, even if the means were violent. Any other reason to be glad would be fucked in the head, wouldn’t it?

….well, would it?

.

When you are ten you hide beneath an antique chaise and listen to your father plot rebellion, with strangers who come and go through palace carrying the smell of blaster discharge in their clothes. 

At twelve you will stand very straight beside your mother as she mother focuses the power of her name, her crown, and the institutions she upholds into a laser-shield in defense of her world. (It wasn’t strong enough, in the end, but then the Death Star wasn’t finished in those days.)

At fifteen, you are a Junior Senator in the Imperial Senate, where no one is elected and the floor votes are perfunctory—everyone knows the Emperor will have the last word. You don’t know if Palpatine even bothered to buy or coerce them anymore, your fellow senators are so desperate to please him regardless.

In hindsight, all this gives you very confused questions about whether power is a good thing, or bad, and when the exercise of it is just. Given the war you fought (are fighting) you probably should have sat down and figured out your answer at some point.

Or at least picked a better one than (b) I know the difference between right and wrong, stop asking me.

.

There is no passion, there is serenity, Luke recites solemnly. He’s growing a beard these days, and the light is slanting into his eyes—he looks like he could be a Jedi of the stories, a knight.

Neither of you lasts more than a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

.

The worst part of the New Republic is how much you try. You do, you try, you contort yourself into a dozen unnatural painful shapes, trying. You are the daughter of Bail Organa and the New Republic is a dream you’ve fed since infancy—you fought and killed for the concordance, for the constitutional charter, for words stronger than the beam of the Death Star because the Death Star is dead and the words have survived. You try so hard to be proud at ‘peace’ and ‘justice’ and ‘right’, with Organa written beneath them.

(Somehow, you are still that little girl, chasing her father down the halls of the palace, trying to get him to come back, trying to make him to stay.)

You’re never sure whether the trying made failure harder to stomach, or if it would have almost killed you either way.

.

Addendum: At some point between wars, you bear a son with a battlefield inside him. (This is also your inheritance.) He is loud, full of mud and blood and horrible violence, and if you were a better woman, you would have loved him less for despite it.

.

The second war has swallowed you up before you realize that’s what’s happening—though you probably should have guessed, based on how much better you’ve been sleeping. Still, it was by the grace of the Senate that you began building the base on D’Qar, and it was to the Senate you reported First Order movement in the Outer Rim, and it is the Senate that funds, feeds, and keeps this little defense initiative of yours—

You thought you’d finally found some aspect of being a senator that didn’t make you want to tear at your skin. You were grateful.

It’s Poe Dameron who slips up. (You really should have figured it out earlier, not even the kriffing names have changed.) He’s the first to call you ‘general’ instead of ‘senator’ and it spreads like a fire, clings like starship oil, and you aren’t strong enough to resist accepting it. You hadn’t realized how long you had been holding your breath, waiting for it.

When Han stops by, hauling a cargo he won’t talk about and looking older than you remember, he makes that face you hate. The tired, grieved expression you associate with late-night arguments, Ben’s absence, and the horrible irony that was your marriage. (You were fight and he was flight and after the adrenaline wore off, there was nothing left.)

What happened to peace in our time? Han asks lightly, half a joke, and your throat aches with how much you want to scream. If you think of all the people you’ve failed in this, in loving this, you really will.

I didn’t have a choice, the First Order—you say, and his mouth turns down at the corners.

No, he says, you told me truthfully, once. You have a choice, princess. This is…this is just it. What will you do, I wonder, once there are no more Imps to kill?

It is your turn to watch him walk away because it is always your turn to watch him walk away these days. Only this time, he doesn’t return, except to kiss you, and then die on the battlefield in your son’s soul.

You might have grieved more, if you had lost less.

.

People have died for you. This isn’t an apology—after all, you liked it.

#ME @ MYSELF: I can get real pretentious with this right? right. #anyway leia organa is bail organa and anakin skywalker's daughter and has been a member of a violent revolutionary group since childhood #she's got some signals crossed when it comes to war #the warry stars #star wars #this is a thing I made

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Review: BLACK MIRROR Season 4 (Part I - Episodes 1 & 2)

New Post has been published on https://nofspodcast.com/review-black-mirror-season-4-part-episodes-1-2/

Review: BLACK MIRROR Season 4 (Part I - Episodes 1 & 2)

Black Mirror Season 4 dropped on December 29th, on Netflix.

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:

Watch it. Oh my God, watch it. Now, then; Spoilers ahead.

EPISODE 1: USS CALLISTER

The aspect ratio of the opening sequence matches the aspect ratio of the old Star Trek television show. It’s little things like that keep my coffee hot and get me up in the morning.

“USS Callister” really tells two stories: the first is the tale of a loser computer programmer named Robert Daly, who’s created a groundbreaking Virtual-Reality-based game that lets people fly around the universe in spaceships, explore planets, battle each other trade, etcetera. The guy he started the company with is a dick who doesn’t appreciate his contributions to the company. His coworkers think he’s weird and awkward and kinda creepy sometimes.

The second story is that of a sadistic and cruel God named Robert Daly. Daly has created a parallel Virtual Reality that allows him to play out his fantasies of being a Hero in Charge, based on a retro science-fiction television show he loves. (Think Star Trek.)

The twist of the knife is that he has peopled this game with digital copies of coworkers he dislikes, generated by stolen samples of their DNA. They have all their memories and personalities from the real world. They are sentient, thinking and feeling as their real-world selves.

What “USS Callister” asks us is (among many other things), are they alive?

Not that episode one is all scowling and torment. Brooker mentioned that Black Mirror would ‘explore a little more comedy in this season’, and there is certainly a strong heartbeat of humor here. It’s the best kind of laughter, too, for the series: black humor. Hangman’s jokes. The dry British chuckle in the face of the abyss.

Watching the tortured, terrified digital clones of the USS Callister unwind while Daly is logged out of the game reminds one of London in the Blitz. Sure, there are bombs and blood and rubble everywhere, and things are pretty awful, but at least the bottles behind the bar survived.

When the newest digital clone, Cristin (played by Nanette Cole) finds out that nobody has genitals in Daly’s digital world, her battle cry is priceless:

Okay. Stealing my pussy is a red. Fucking. Line.

“USS Callister” is like a great Doctor Who episode that just happens to be Rated R.

When the trailers for Season 4 dropped, the teaser for “USS Callister” left out the real world entirely. It was a move of twofold genius. First, it saves the surprise of our first, bleak glimpse of the real world. Our introduction to neurotic weirdo Daly (an absolutely stunning performance by Jesse Plemons) feels like a nihilistic sigh of relief. It doesn’t have to be full dark 24/7, but there’s something in the uncompromising, unblinking hardness of Black Mirror that has always set it apart. A certain bleak jouissance that no other show delivers.

Second, it works as a commentary on the episode itself. In our little taste of “USS Callister,” the real world isn’t there at all. The trailer promises pure sci-fi. Pure escapism. Fun. Adventure. There’s no trace of the sinister sadism of Daly, or the suffering of his comrades. There’s no sense of true tragedy or actual stakes.

Just like the immersive, next-gen VR in the episode.

“Callister” examines the more disturbing elements of the AI and VR booms we’re seeing right now. Ten years from now, if we have a bad day, put on our VR headsets, and kill a hundred digital people in Call of Duty online, what will that mean? In a world where code is ever-improving, at what point is a program as nuanced and multifaceted as us? We don’t feel anything drowning Sims or making them wet themselves…but should we? If not today, when? At what point does simulated suffering cease to be Catharsis and become Sadism?

With the advent of technology like CRISPR, perhaps we aren’t so far from Daly’s nightmare after all.

  EPISODE 2: ARKANGEL

The obvious big-gun episode of the season is “Arkangel.” There’re no scrubs in the directorial talent of Black Mirror, but Jodie Foster (four Oscar nominations, two wins, Silence of the Lambs, ‘nuff said) is clearly the Heavy Hitter.

She swung for the fences.

She knocked it out of the park.

I don’t even like baseball.

“Arkangel” tells the story of a mother and daughter. When her daughter Sara (Aniya Hodge, Sara Abbot, and Brenna Harding) goes missing, Marie (Rosemarie DeWitt, Cinderella Man, Mad Men) has a monitoring system implanted in Sara’s head. It’s called “Arkangel,” and gives Marie access to Sara’s location, biological vitals, and even a direct feed from her optic nerve. Marie can see what Sara sees.

But “Arkangel” isn’t really about the creepy sci-fi stuff. None of the best episodes of Black Mirror are, and this is one of the best in the series. No. “Arkangel” is about what happens as Sara grows up. It’s about the Helicopter Parents of the future. About how far Marie will go to keep her safe, and how much of herself she’ll compromise to do it.

And the inevitable price to be paid.

The brilliance of Foster’s episode is (to borrow from Blake), its fearful symmetry. Its balance. Each element dances with another, each character reflected darkly in the actions of others. Sara and the all-seeing eye in her head are like a weight in the center of the episode. On one side is Marie and her Orwellian baby monitor. On the other is Trick (a superb performance by Own Teague), the Cute Drug Dealer from the Wrong Side of the Tracks, and all the rebellion and danger he represents.

Every line, every interaction in the episode shifts that weight, tilts the precarious position of the scale. Structurally, it’s breathtakingly beautiful. There is no wasted moment.

I don’t know whether to give the nod to Brooker (who has sole writing credit on the episode) or Foster for the delicate dance of these threads. The interplay between the writing and directing style is an elegant pas de deux, each word and element circling the others, and pulling the weave ever tighter.

Brooker understands Irony in a way that few shows do, and utilizes it like the keen, heartrending edge that it can be. And he knows Tragedy. The Capital-T kind that the Greeks told us so much about, all those years ago. He knows it intimately. Knows that the key to Tragedy is Hamaratia: the Fatal Flaw.

There are several Fatal Flaws in “Arkangel.” They run (appropriately) in arcs through the episode. Tracing those threads back reveals the subtlety and nuance Foster and Brooker actually manage.

Almost everything Marie does throughout the episode is countered or echoed elsewhere: when she reactivates the Arkangel unit in Sara’s teens, she sees her having sex with Trick, the “Dangerous Bad Boy.” Yet, that same night, she met up with one of her patients from physical therapy: a devil-may-care biker who injured himself driving his motorcycle recklessly, and shows no signs of slowing down.

Marie sees Sara experimenting with cocaine in Trick’s van. The effect of the drug is that it raises Sara’s heart rate. A few days later, Marie grinds some drugs into Sara’s morning smoothie. The effect of drugging her daughter is the spontaneous abortion of a pregnancy Sara didn’t even know about.

It’s ironic that Marie should confront Trick, condemning him as “a junkie.” Throughout the episode, Marie treats the Arkangel parent unit as a junkie treats drugs. She hides the unit upstairs, laments over whether to use it or not. Okay, just this one more time. Uses it just a little. Just a few functions. Starts carrying it with her. It’s clear that she’s addicted to it.

There’s even a brilliant reversal of the classic “Parent finds drugs in the kid’s room” scene, where Sara rifles her mother’s room and discovers that she’s still using the Arkangel parent unit. Sara is horrified and tosses it down, the perfect picture of a parent discovering their child’s dangerous addiction.

Marie is the first victim of Arkangel, and in her victimhood, she stands for all of us. I don’t mean the program itself. I’m talking about the sentiment behind it. Beneath the eerie veneer of the invasive surveillance of tomorrow, “Arkangel” is quietly commenting on something we’re experiencing today.

Safety. In excess. In extremis.

The opening scene of the episode doesn’t just establish the characters and set the stage. It holds up a mirror. Marie is giving birth: after complications during natural birth, the doctor is performing a C-section. “Arkangel” opens with Marie looking away from the things that frighten her: the doctors, the nurse, the procedure she’s undergoing. When Sara is finally born, the doctors whisk her away to a table nearby. There is no sound. No cry. Other doctors gather, and Marie becomes afraid: afraid her baby is dead, that she’s lost her little girl, and is powerless to help.

“Tell me she’s alright,” she says.

The nurse holds her hand, tells her to calm down. Comforts her. Then Sara cries and is brought over, and she’s fine, and everything is fine. We get the sort of close-up maternal scene we’re accustomed to seeing when babies are born on television. Lots of nuzzling and happy tears and lifelong bonds being wound between mother and child.

And then, brilliantly, brutally, honestly, Foster shows us what we seldom see these days, too busy cooing over the microcosm and the close-up.

She shows us the big picture.

On one side of the curtain, Marie is bonding with her little girl. Her daughter is alive and well. Everything is fine. Nurses smile and nod and congratulate her. And on the other side of the curtain, her body is open and bloody. Doctors work quietly to stop the bleeding and make her whole again. Though a routine procedure, Marie has experienced massive trauma, could conceivably die if things go wrong…but she’ll never know. The sheet protects her. She doesn’t feel a thing: the doctors have numbed her to the trauma she’s experiencing. All that’s left is bliss.

(By the by, I’m not suggesting we force new mothers to watch surgeries performed on them without anesthetic. I’m not a monster. I am an observer of metaphors.)

The “parental control” of the Arkangel unit is obviously the darkest, most troubling of the sci-fi elements of the episode, but it raises some interesting questions about what safety might mean, in the long-term.

When Sara’s grandfather has a heart attack, she can’t see what’s happening to him, and can’t hear his pleas for her to get help. She’s shielded from the trauma by the unit. But there’s a parallel in our world, here: if we crumble in the face of fear and trauma, shutting down and closing it out, refusing to look, what are the consequences of that willful blind eye?

Later, as Marie grieves over her father’s grave, Sara can’t see her mother’s face. Grief is uncomfortable. It has been censored out.

Again, there are real considerations for us in the real world. If we turn our backs on grief and powerful, negative human emotions because they make us uncomfortable, what does that mean? The end of empathy? A society that must grieve alone and uncomforted, with no community to feel and grieve with us, no strength to be lent to us because we are, in our sadness, upsetting?

Just something to think about.

Sara’s grandfather speaks for some us, after Marie has the Arkangel implanted in Sara’s head:

“I remember when we used to open up the door and let the kids be.”

It provokes an interesting thought. The difference between opening a door and a locked one can be the difference between a home and a prison. Between a conversation and a censure is the difference between a parent and a warden.

And once you’ve escaped a prison, why would you ever go back?

  Overall

There’s a common thread between “USS Callister” and “Arkangel.”

Hope.

When Cristin and company break out of Daly’s digital world, they have a whole new universe to explore. They’re in charge of their own destinies again. They have free will, and the will to live.

Once Sara escapes her mother’s smothering safety, she has a whole world to explore. She’s free, finally, with her whole life ahead of her.

Watching these two episodes, I noticed something for the first time. In the opening credits of Black Mirror, just before the screen goes dark, and we stare into the black possibilities of the onrushing technological age…

The Black Mirror always cracks. The mirror Brooker holds up is not impervious. We can escape.

There’s always hope.

#black humor #black mirror #Brooker #charlie brooker #emmy #horror #horror 2017 #horror 2018 #horror news #horror review #horror tv #humor #jodie foster #netflix #new horror #oscar #sci-fi #scifi #Season 4 #tv

[willreadforbooze]

Hello boozie readers!

Reminder:Our Will Read For Booze twitter account (formerly Sam’s personal account) is going to be dedicated to the whole blog! So go check us out kthxxxx. While that’s amazing, Sam has to start from scratch on a new account, let’s show her some love huh? Check out her new account TheBooktender_  She’ll love you forever and ever.

Minda’s Updates

What Minda is reading now:

Such a Perfect Wife by Kate White – Was feeling a quick mystery read and this is it! True crime journalist Bailey Weggins is investigating a missing persons case in a small town on Lake George. The pretty white lady who went missing is slightly mysterious and the details around her disappearance are slim. At 46%, things are heating up.

The Dragon Republic by R.F. Kuang – Been not-so-patiently waiting for this one to appear in my library queue, but here it is! The follow up to The Poppy War, we pick up where the third war left off after the traumatic ending. The lead (antihero?) Rin is on the run and seeking revenge. How will the saga continue and can she make up for the atrocities she has committed?

What Minda put down:

Dark Age by Pierce Brown – Just didn’t get into it right away, so will pick it up again later.

Linz’s Updates

Linz can’t come to the phone right now, she’s hungover. Damn you, holiday season.\

What Linz read:

Spark of White Fire by Sangu Mandanna: The first installment of a trilogy looks at fates and destinies and gods but in space. I’ve had this on the back burner for ages and picked just the right time to read it; my one complaint, weirdly, is I wish it’d been a little bit of a slower burn.

Dress Codes in Small Towns by Courtney C. Stevens: A young girl comes of age and explores her sexual identity. Thoughtful, enjoyable, but are teens this self-aware? Do they really talk like this?

The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh: Blah. “Dystopic feminist revenge fantasy about three sisters on an isolated island.” You literally can’t tell the sisters’ voices apart, it’s kinda predictable and relies way too heavily on the reader to fill in details.

What Linz DNF:

Spindle Fire by Lexa Hillyer: IF YOUR CHARACTER CAN’T TALK, THEN STARTS TALKING, THEN THEY CAN TALK CAN’T THEY

What Linz is currently reading:

Crier’s War by Nina Varela: Humans try to overthrow the robots that overthrew them (I think). This stack of hard copies I’ve got aren’t going to read themselves

Sam’s Updates

Who did the most holiday parties this weekend? I went to three. Including Linz’s amazing party. Girl knows how to throw a party. I spent all day baking cookies and I’m not done yet lol.

What Sam read this week:

Graceling by Kristin Cashore: Oh man. I see what everyone was talking about, this story was just amazing. The audio is great and I will definitely be picking up the rest of the series.

Queen of Nothing by Holly Black: YOU GUYS! This book was ah-mazing. For those of you living under the YA rock, this is the finale to Holly’s newest series that starts with The Cruel Prince. Our main character Jude, a human, lives in fae with her adoptive power-hungry father. I won’t spoil anything for any book, but let’s just say the romance in this is INCREDIBLY problematic, but….. i love it. I love it so much. Jude is one of the dumbest characters I think I’ve ever read but DAMN do I love it. The finale didn’t disappoint, drunk babbling about my heart-eyes are coming.

What Sam’s currently reading:

Warrior of the Altaii by Robert Jordan: Only just started this but this was actually Robert Jordan’s first book, but this was it’s first publishing =). Starting on audio, but will probably pick up my hard copy once I finish the hard copy i’m currently reading.

Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim: I am about half way through this. The main character spent the last 7 years working on a debtor’s ship and now she’s sworn revenge. I did not know how I didn’t know this, but apparently it’s a Count of Monte Cristo retelling. I am worried, because it’s not that long and I feel like it’s never going to end. I’m only half way through. I think if it doesn’t pick up soon, imma put it down.

Ginny’s Updates

We’re getting close to the holidays which means I’ve been to five holiday events in the last four days. That being said, they were all delightful so I really shouldn’t be complaining. There was plenty of good food, amazing hot chocolate, plenty of talking, and in general a good time. Unfortunately, not too much reading.

Finished:

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: I was worried at the beginning of this book that it was a bit of a tired trope. And yet this book did an amazing job of setting itself apart. Monique has a real voice, and Evelyn is brutal in her honesty with this interview. Once the story got started this book was nearly impossible to put down. 5/5

The Crown’s Game  by Evelyn Skye: This book has a lot in similar with The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I love that book, Sam loved it (review here). So this book is basically a Russian Night Circus but slightly more frustrating. There are a few moments where things seem to happen not because it was in character but more because the plot required it. I did like the idea of magic but found the ending frustrating. It was a perfectly fine book but I feel no need to read the sequel 3/5

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb As someone who has been to therapy it was really interesting to read this book. The look into how a therapist works, looking at how they begin to work with new people, helping them figure out how to work with their issues, and what could be causing those issues. I enjoyed seeing the growth in the patients that Lori decided to detail in this book (obviously changing names etc to hide the pertinent information). All in all, it was an insightful read. 4/5

What Virginia’s currently reading:

I know, I’m in a bit of a rut here.

Darkdawn by Jay Kristoff: Still working on this one. I want to read it, I just haven’t been in a reading mood when I’ve had the book on hand.

The Night County by Melissa Albert: This is the sequel to The Hazel Wood. I’m glad I get the chance to revisit this world. So far we’re back in New York while Alice tries to figure out life. A strong start, but unfortunately ran into some trouble with my library books and needed to prioritize those.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: I felt like having a light fun read. Lucy and Josh are Exec Admins to CEO’s of a merged company. They’re constantly having arguements etc and kind of detest each other. Which of course means that they’re both secretly in love. I can be in to this trope, but frankly, so much of this isn’t work appropriate. At least not between people who don’t get along. I find myself frustrated by some of the people and some of the situations. So, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until next time, we main forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Ginny, Linz, and Minda

Weekly Wrap Up: Dec 9-15, 2019 Hello boozie readers! Reminder:Our Will Read For Booze twitter account (formerly Sam's personal account) is going to be dedicated to the whole blog!

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Review: BLACK MIRROR Season 4 (Part I - Episodes 1 & 2)

New Post has been published on https://nofspodcast.com/review-black-mirror-season-4-part-episodes-1-2/

Review: BLACK MIRROR Season 4 (Part I - Episodes 1 & 2)

Black Mirror Season 4 dropped on December 29th, on Netflix.

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:

Watch it. Oh my God, watch it. Now, then; Spoilers ahead.

EPISODE 1: USS CALLISTER

The aspect ratio of the opening sequence matches the aspect ratio of the old Star Trek television show. It’s little things like that keep my coffee hot and get me up in the morning.

“USS Callister” really tells two stories: the first is the tale of a loser computer programmer named Robert Daly, who’s created a groundbreaking Virtual-Reality-based game that lets people fly around the universe in spaceships, explore planets, battle each other trade, etcetera. The guy he started the company with is a dick who doesn’t appreciate his contributions to the company. His coworkers think he’s weird and awkward and kinda creepy sometimes.

The second story is that of a sadistic and cruel God named Robert Daly. Daly has created a parallel Virtual Reality that allows him to play out his fantasies of being a Hero in Charge, based on a retro science-fiction television show he loves. (Think Star Trek.)

The twist of the knife is that he has peopled this game with digital copies of coworkers he dislikes, generated by stolen samples of their DNA. They have all their memories and personalities from the real world. They are sentient, thinking and feeling as their real-world selves.

What “USS Callister” asks us is (among many other things), are they alive?

Not that episode one is all scowling and torment. Brooker mentioned that Black Mirror would ‘explore a little more comedy in this season’, and there is certainly a strong heartbeat of humor here. It’s the best kind of laughter, too, for the series: black humor. Hangman’s jokes. The dry British chuckle in the face of the abyss.

Watching the tortured, terrified digital clones of the USS Callister unwind while Daly is logged out of the game reminds one of London in the Blitz. Sure, there are bombs and blood and rubble everywhere, and things are pretty awful, but at least the bottles behind the bar survived.

When the newest digital clone, Nanette Cole (played by Cristin Milioti) finds out that nobody has genitals in Daly’s digital world, her battle cry is priceless:

Okay. Stealing my pussy is a red. Fucking. Line.

“USS Callister” is like a great Doctor Who episode that just happens to be Rated R.

When the trailers for Season 4 dropped, the teaser for “USS Callister” left out the real world entirely. It was a move of twofold genius. First, it saves the surprise of our first, bleak glimpse of the real world. Our introduction to neurotic weirdo Daly (an absolutely stunning performance by Jesse Plemons) feels like a nihilistic sigh of relief. It doesn’t have to be full dark 24/7, but there’s something in the uncompromising, unblinking hardness of Black Mirror that has always set it apart. A certain bleak jouissance that no other show delivers.

Second, it works as a commentary on the episode itself. In our little taste of “USS Callister,” the real world isn’t there at all. The trailer promises pure sci-fi. Pure escapism. Fun. Adventure. There’s no trace of the sinister sadism of Daly, or the suffering of his comrades. There’s no sense of true tragedy or actual stakes.

Just like the immersive, next-gen VR in the episode.

“Callister” examines the more disturbing elements of the AI and VR booms we’re seeing right now. Ten years from now, if we have a bad day, put on our VR headsets, and kill a hundred digital people in Call of Duty online, what will that mean? In a world where code is ever-improving, at what point is a program as nuanced and multifaceted as us? We don’t feel anything drowning Sims or making them wet themselves…but should we? If not today, when? At what point does simulated suffering cease to be Catharsis and become Sadism?

With the advent of technology like CRISPR, perhaps we aren’t so far from Daly’s nightmare after all.

  EPISODE 2: ARKANGEL

The obvious big-gun episode of the season is “Arkangel.” There’re no scrubs in the directorial talent of Black Mirror, but Jodie Foster (four Oscar nominations, two wins, Silence of the Lambs, ‘nuff said) is clearly the Heavy Hitter.

She swung for the fences.

She knocked it out of the park.

I don’t even like baseball.

“Arkangel” tells the story of a mother and daughter. When her daughter Sara (Aniya Hodge, Sara Abbot, and Brenna Harding) goes missing, Marie (Rosemarie DeWitt, Cinderella Man, Mad Men) has a monitoring system implanted in Sara’s head. It’s called “Arkangel,” and gives Marie access to Sara’s location, biological vitals, and even a direct feed from her optic nerve. Marie can see what Sara sees.

But “Arkangel” isn’t really about the creepy sci-fi stuff. None of the best episodes of Black Mirror are, and this is one of the best in the series. No. “Arkangel” is about what happens as Sara grows up. It’s about the Helicopter Parents of the future. About how far Marie will go to keep her safe, and how much of herself she’ll compromise to do it.

And the inevitable price to be paid.

The brilliance of Foster’s episode is (to borrow from Blake), its fearful symmetry. Its balance. Each element dances with another, each character reflected darkly in the actions of others. Sara and the all-seeing eye in her head are like a weight in the center of the episode. On one side is Marie and her Orwellian baby monitor. On the other is Trick (a superb performance by Own Teague), the Cute Drug Dealer from the Wrong Side of the Tracks, and all the rebellion and danger he represents.

Every line, every interaction in the episode shifts that weight, tilts the precarious position of the scale. Structurally, it’s breathtakingly beautiful. There is no wasted moment.

I don’t know whether to give the nod to Brooker (who has sole writing credit on the episode) or Foster for the delicate dance of these threads. The interplay between the writing and directing style is an elegant pas de deux, each word and element circling the others, and pulling the weave ever tighter.

Brooker understands Irony in a way that few shows do, and utilizes it like the keen, heartrending edge that it can be. And he knows Tragedy. The Capital-T kind that the Greeks told us so much about, all those years ago. He knows it intimately. Knows that the key to Tragedy is Hamaratia: the Fatal Flaw.

There are several Fatal Flaws in “Arkangel.” They run (appropriately) in arcs through the episode. Tracing those threads back reveals the subtlety and nuance Foster and Brooker actually manage.

Almost everything Marie does throughout the episode is countered or echoed elsewhere: when she reactivates the Arkangel unit in Sara’s teens, she sees her having sex with Trick, the “Dangerous Bad Boy.” Yet, that same night, she met up with one of her patients from physical therapy: a devil-may-care biker who injured himself driving his motorcycle recklessly, and shows no signs of slowing down.

Marie sees Sara experimenting with cocaine in Trick’s van. The effect of the drug is that it raises Sara’s heart rate. A few days later, Marie grinds some drugs into Sara’s morning smoothie. The effect of drugging her daughter is the spontaneous abortion of a pregnancy Sara didn’t even know about.

It’s ironic that Marie should confront Trick, condemning him as “a junkie.” Throughout the episode, Marie treats the Arkangel parent unit as a junkie treats drugs. She hides the unit upstairs, laments over whether to use it or not. Okay, just this one more time. Uses it just a little. Just a few functions. Starts carrying it with her. It’s clear that she’s addicted to it.

There’s even a brilliant reversal of the classic “Parent finds drugs in the kid’s room” scene, where Sara rifles her mother’s room and discovers that she’s still using the Arkangel parent unit. Sara is horrified and tosses it down, the perfect picture of a parent discovering their child’s dangerous addiction.

Marie is the first victim of Arkangel, and in her victimhood, she stands for all of us. I don’t mean the program itself. I’m talking about the sentiment behind it. Beneath the eerie veneer of the invasive surveillance of tomorrow, “Arkangel” is quietly commenting on something we’re experiencing today.

Safety. In excess. In extremis.

The opening scene of the episode doesn’t just establish the characters and set the stage. It holds up a mirror. Marie is giving birth: after complications during natural birth, the doctor is performing a C-section. “Arkangel” opens with Marie looking away from the things that frighten her: the doctors, the nurse, the procedure she’s undergoing. When Sara is finally born, the doctors whisk her away to a table nearby. There is no sound. No cry. Other doctors gather, and Marie becomes afraid: afraid her baby is dead, that she’s lost her little girl, and is powerless to help.

“Tell me she’s alright,” she says.

The nurse holds her hand, tells her to calm down. Comforts her. Then Sara cries and is brought over, and she’s fine, and everything is fine. We get the sort of close-up maternal scene we’re accustomed to seeing when babies are born on television. Lots of nuzzling and happy tears and lifelong bonds being wound between mother and child.

And then, brilliantly, brutally, honestly, Foster shows us what we seldom see these days, too busy cooing over the microcosm and the close-up.

She shows us the big picture.

On one side of the curtain, Marie is bonding with her little girl. Her daughter is alive and well. Everything is fine. Nurses smile and nod and congratulate her. And on the other side of the curtain, her body is open and bloody. Doctors work quietly to stop the bleeding and make her whole again. Though a routine procedure, Marie has experienced massive trauma, could conceivably die if things go wrong…but she’ll never know. The sheet protects her. She doesn’t feel a thing: the doctors have numbed her to the trauma she’s experiencing. All that’s left is bliss.

(By the by, I’m not suggesting we force new mothers to watch surgeries performed on them without anesthetic. I’m not a monster. I am an observer of metaphors.)

The “parental control” of the Arkangel unit is obviously the darkest, most troubling of the sci-fi elements of the episode, but it raises some interesting questions about what safety might mean, in the long-term.

When Sara’s grandfather has a heart attack, she can’t see what’s happening to him, and can’t hear his pleas for her to get help. She’s shielded from the trauma by the unit. But there’s a parallel in our world, here: if we crumble in the face of fear and trauma, shutting down and closing it out, refusing to look, what are the consequences of that willful blind eye?

Later, as Marie grieves over her father’s grave, Sara can’t see her mother’s face. Grief is uncomfortable. It has been censored out.

Again, there are real considerations for us in the real world. If we turn our backs on grief and powerful, negative human emotions because they make us uncomfortable, what does that mean? The end of empathy? A society that must grieve alone and uncomforted, with no community to feel and grieve with us, no strength to be lent to us because we are, in our sadness, upsetting?

Just something to think about.

Sara’s grandfather speaks for some us, after Marie has the Arkangel implanted in Sara’s head:

“I remember when we used to open up the door and let the kids be.”

It provokes an interesting thought. The difference between opening a door and a locked one can be the difference between a home and a prison. Between a conversation and a censure is the difference between a parent and a warden.

And once you’ve escaped a prison, why would you ever go back?

  Overall

There’s a common thread between “USS Callister” and “Arkangel.”

Hope.

When Cristin and company break out of Daly’s digital world, they have a whole new universe to explore. They’re in charge of their own destinies again. They have free will, and the will to live.

Once Sara escapes her mother’s smothering safety, she has a whole world to explore. She’s free, finally, with her whole life ahead of her.

Watching these two episodes, I noticed something for the first time. In the opening credits of Black Mirror, just before the screen goes dark, and we stare into the black possibilities of the onrushing technological age…

The Black Mirror always cracks. The mirror Brooker holds up is not impervious. We can escape.

There’s always hope.

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