#shaardan

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 93

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 92. Chapter 94.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

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There are a grand total of four tombs in the Valley of the Dark Lords, two on one side and two on the other side. There are smaller Sith graves here and there but nothing too spectacular about them to my layman’s eye. One of them has to be the tomb of Naga Sadow, and I won’t be able to get in there until I pass the final test. The other three seem to be fair game. The only way to know anything is to ask one of the archaeologists myself.

A human is standing near the first tomb on the right, notating things in his datapad. Looks like some runes, but I wouldn’t know either way. Archaeology is not my field of interest. Sure, I’d hang out with anthropologists from time to time, but archaeologists would come later, if at all. My interest is in the here and now, maybe the evolution of an ecosystem. The human seems to know something, given his frantic interest. “How old are these runes?” I ask.

“Aren't these tombs fascinating?” he says, “These ruins date back to a period when the Sith were first formed, before their exile into the far reaches of space. We had no idea the Sith were here so long ago!”

“And whose tomb is this?”

“I've been working on a translation of some of the runes here. I'm quite excited - this may very well be the tomb of Ajunta Pall!”

The name itself excites him and he says it in a way that sounds like I should know who that is. But all I know is the gossip from the library. “You’ll have to forgive me, my knowledge of history isn’t what it should be - who was Ajunta Pall?”

“Ajunta Pall was one of the first of the great Sith Lords. He rebelled against his Jedi Masters and led the way for the rest of us that followed.” I’d imagine that would have been quite troubling for him. I mean, now, anyone who turns against the Jedi has the Sith to fall back on, a whole different philosophy to study and learn. But to be the first, to have nothing else but just knowing you want to try something more than just what the Jedi teach, to carve your own way. It must have been confusing. And lonely, at first. I kinda feel for the guy, even though he’s been dead for thousands of years. “These runes claim that he was interred here… and I wonder if his sword might not be here, as well.”

“I heard something about his sword,” I say, “What makes it so special? Does it have powers or something?”

He shrugs. “The legends don't say anything about it. It may have had powers for Ajunta alone.”

I take a look at the tomb. “I’m surprised no one’s gone in to get it,” I say, “Something like that would probably be prestige worthy.”

“A few of the bolder students have tried,” he says, “They did not return. As I understand it, the tombs are quite dangerous. From what I've been told, the tombs have old traps and machines that are still active.” After all this time? “They were designed to keep out intruders when they were made and still do.” He shrugs again. “I suppose if the academy wanted to make a concerted effort, the tomb would be opened, but I think Master Uthar prefers to keep it as a challenge for the students.” He shakes his head. “The sword may be tempting, but I'm not about to risk my life to find it.”

“Well,” I say, “I’m gonna go for it. If I find it, I’ll let you have a look.”

“You would forego prestige for me?” he asks, “Not very Sith-like.”

Well, if Yuthura holds up her end of the deal, I’m not worried about prestige. “Between you and me, I don’t have anything to worry about.” He still looks at me strangely and goes back to his datapad. Carth, Jolee, and I head into the tomb.

Eating seems good for the tuk’ata that are obviously here - the droppings are a good size and shape for a predator this size. I’m not studying them so I’m not about to go digger in it, but they don’t look like the droppings of a fibrous diet. More a meat-based one. I need some light. I should have grabbed my flashlight from the Hawk during lunch. I wasn’t even thinking about it, I was so focused on Carth. Out with my blue lightsaber again.

Whoops - what did I just step on? A gnawed datapad - the tuk’ata must have tried eating it before deciding it wasn’t tasty enough to be worth the effort. Looks like it still works, at least a little. It’s an archaeologist’s datapad, so it went through heavy use. A quick skim tells me that this dude was really into rocks. There aren’t a whole lot of words I recognize - rock dudes weren’t a staple to scouting teams, and while I could recognize a fair few minerals it was by no means my specialty - but there is one that stands out. Therangen. I hung out with enough anthropologists to know that one. It’s a fuel found on most planets. Cleaner burning and provides more energy than wood but way more dangerous. If there’s therangen here, then I want to avoid setting off any explosions. Blaster fire should be fine but no fire-fire.

Tuk’ata ahead. They aren’t as open as the matriarch was, I won’t be able to persuade them away. An explosion would scare them off, but since I have no idea where the therangen is localized, it could also kill us or destroy the tomb. Not something I want to do today. After all if I’m going to die there are cooler ways to do it. So I guess that means going into attack. I activate my other lightsaber and head for them. Carth is right behind me - watching me again, the flirt - but it takes Jolee a few seconds to react. I’m not usually a head first attacker but there aren’t a whole lot of ways for me to attack from another angle in a tomb. But that also means there aren’t too many places for the tuk’ata to go, so we take care of them pretty quickly.

The tomb opens up to a large chamber. Two bridges cross a large chasm, but both are blocked by obelisks. One bridge is free and clear past the obelisk. The other has four large assault droids. The droids look defunct, but I doubt they are. Say what you will about the Sith, but their droids hold up. Republic droids tend to trade longevity for versatility, while SIth droids tend to be the opposite. (And Czerka droids have neither. Aratech has both, but they’re pricier. Smaller brands, it’s anyone’s guess what you’re getting. Any droid I’ve built is certainly versatile but since I use a hodgepodge of parts, they aren’t guaranteed to last without repair. But by that same token, they’re easy to repair. For me, anyway. I’m rambling.) So if we can we’re going to want to use the other bridge, if we can figure out how to go around the obelisk. If it were just me, by myself, I could just jump across. I’ve made worse jumps with the Force. And I could probably teach Jolee how to do it, if he doesn’t know already, but that would leave Carth over here alone and I don’t want to do that. So obviously, we have to figure out how to get rid of the obelisks.

There’s a lever. It’s never going to be that easy.

“I’ve never seen a rock like this,” Carth says, looking at the obelisk.

I take a look myself. Oh, so this is where the Therangen is. “This is Therangen. Which means getting past it won’t be a problem, but it could create a few,” I say.

“How do you mean?” he asks.

“Therangen is a fuel, burning it creates a lot of energy,” I say, “Which means it’s highly explosive. We can blow it up but there’s no telling what damage that could do to the tomb. Plus there’s the other matter of those assault droids over there who will probably activate when the thing blows up. Getting over there wouldn’t exactly be easy so we’d have to rely on ranged weapons to take them out and my aim sucks.”

“Hang on,” he says, “I’ve seen you make all kinds of jumps, are you telling me you can’t make this one?”

“Not easily, I’d need a straight shot, so I’d have to be on the bridge, and in order to do that we’d have to blow the obelisk, so the droids would activate and they’d shoot at me while I was making the jump. It’s an ill-fated endeavor.”

“Maybe going that way,” Jolee says. We both look at him. “What if you went over the other obelisk?”

You know, I hadn’t thought of that. I take a better look at it. That’s a jump I could make. “Yeah, I could make that.”

“Perhaps you could deactivate the droids as well,” he says.

Four droids? It would take a hot second, but yeah, I could do that. Depending on how old the droids are, I could either use my override code or just break a few wires. “I could do that.” I position myself and jump. I almost crash into one of the droids but I miss it by, like, an inch. “Wait by the other obelisk,” I shout back to them, “I’ll give you a signal.” They both move towards the Therangen obelisk.

Wow, these droids are old. I’ve never seen an interface like this before in my life. Not that I need to be familiar with it to deactivate the droid. I don’t even need to be delicate - there are exposed wires on the back. And I don’t need my droid toolkit, either, I can just pull these out with my hands. I’m not sure what wires go to what, since I can’t read ancient Sith, but it’s not like the droid’ll blow up on me, it’s not a bomb. So I just unplug everything, just to be safe. Five wires for four droids takes a little bit but when I’m done, the easiest thing to do is just jump back to the other bridge and blow up the Theragen myself. “Stand back, guys, this should be a pretty big boom!” I get some distance myself, lob a frag grenade, cover my ears, and wait a few seconds. One… two… three… BOOM! A few rocks fall from the ceiling but other than that the tomb is no worse for wear. The droids stay deactivated. Yay. The boys cross over the bridge and we move on.

That seems to have been the only security between the tomb entrance and the crypt. Doubtless, Ajunta Pall’s sword is buried with him, in the sole sarcophagus. But as I slide the stone sarcophagus open, and see the three swords inside, the crypt door closes, locking us in here. And the crypt gets cold. Not a normal cold, either. I turn.

This is weird. Something with the shape of a person, but not exactly a person. “Too long…” it says, “… too long in the cold and the dark. I am disturbed again? A human…”

“Now this you don't see every day,” Jolee says, “This… this is an old spirit full of the Force.” Hang on, buddy, ghosts aren’t real. Well… I guess the Force is weird like that. “I sense great sadness and regret. Walk carefully.”

“A… Jedi?” the spirit says, “Here? Why have you come to this dark place, Jedi? Why… disturb my sleepless rest?”

Hold on a moment. I think… “Are you… Ajunta Pall?” Boy, would that be a trip.

“I… had a name, once,” the spirit says, “Ajunta Pall. Yes, that was my name.” This day is getting weirder and weirder. “I was one of many. We were servants of the Dark Side… Sith Lords, we called ourselves. So proud. In the end we were not so proud. We hid… hid from those we had betrayed. We fell… and I knew it would be so…”

“Those you had betrayed,” I repeat, “Your Jedi Masters.”

“Yes,” he says, “Those who had taught us to use the Force… who warned us against the Dark Side. Yet we embraced it in secret, reveled in its power. We were… discovered? Or did we act? I can no longer remember. But here is where we came… to hide, to grow. And here we fell.”

“Why here? What was so special about Korriban?”

“Our temple…” he says, “… our tomb. Built far from our enemies. We revered power and threw off the teachings of our old masters.” Not really the answer to my question. “It… we were not the first to fall to the Dark Side. But we… had more power than those before us. It… came from elsewhere…”

“Elsewhere?” What does that even mean? The Force comes from within and without - it doesn’t exactly come from anywhere, it’s everywhere. “What do you mean?” 

“Our oldest secret.” Ooh, secrets! “Only… only we would know, we lords. Only we would know where our power came from…”

“Where? Tell me.” No, I’m not seeking that power. But, one, I can’t resist a secret, and two, the whole “elsewhere” thing doesn’t make any sense.

“I cannot, human,” he says, “It is a secret of so long ago… I no longer remember. You who bristle with the Force… you must find this place…” Is he talking about the Star Forge, or the map? Something about destiny, that’s for sure. But then he looks at me, like he can’t place me. “Or… have you? Or did you? Or… will you? Oh, so… many images…” I guess when you’ve been in tune with the Force so long, the past and the future start to blur together. “I… see your heart, human Jedi. I see your power, your pride.” I’m not that prideful. “You… you will find the old place, the dark place… and you will regret it.”

This is getting creepy. “Why? What’s there?”

“So much power… it is blinding. I… I remember so little…”

“This secret…” I ask slowly, “…is it the Star Map?” Well, this will go one of two ways.

“I… I do not remember.” I should have expected that. “A map? Perhaps it is a map. But it has not been buried with me. All I have now is my sword. My sword…” He gazes past us. “I filled it with my pride. And it is… buried with me, now. A corpse as I am a corpse. I am dead, as my faith… is dead. And I shall remain here… surrounded by blackness in death as in life…”

Even for a ghost, he’s depressing, geez. “I feel sorry for you,” I say.

“Most of my brethren would desire… only to take what power I have left. Even if it would destroy them.” He pauses, like he’s considering me. “I wish my sword to be… taken away from here. I do not wish it to rot away as I have. I command this of you.”

“What should I do with it?”

“If… if you are wise, you will not keep it,” he says, “In the end, it is what destroyed me…” Definitely not taking it back to the Academy, then. “There are… three blades within my sarcophagus. Only one is truly my sword, but it has been so long… I do not remember which. Find the sword that is mine and… place it on the statue.” Which he indicates. “If it is truly mine, then it is yours.”

“How do I know which one it is?”

He pauses. “I do remember one thing of my sword…” he says, “… listen to me carefully… ‘I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light.’ It was… written on my sword long… long ago. Go, then… find my sword and place it on the statue…”

His body is long gone from the sarcophagus, but the swords remain. I may be a relative newcomer to the Force, but I do know a thing or two about swords. I unbuckle my lightsaber belt and hand it to Carth, before pulling the swords one by one from the sarcophagus. The best way to get a feel for any sword is to see how it handles.

The first is a vibrosword, which hints to me very strongly that it’s not the one. There’s nothing especially “Dark Side” about a vibrosword, and they aren’t particularly powerful. Granted, any sword can be powerful depending on whose hand it’s in, but vibroswords aren’t that special. They’re not too heavy, you can equip them with bells and whistles, but they’re cheap. This is not a tool of the Dark Side.

Now this is impressive. A silver-lined sword that feels like it’s in touch with the Force. It has a warmth to it - like fire, it’s a good warmth and a bad warmth. It would keep your hand from cramping, but it could also burn unarmored flesh. This could be an impressive weapon for a Dark Jedi. But Ajunta Pall’s creepy poetry said something about “silencing the light.” I wouldn’t say a white-hot sword silences the light.

Which leaves the final notched steel sword. Even if process of elimination didn’t tell me this was the one, I don’t like this sword. The blade is black. It looks like a giant sawtooth. It has some weight to it that would cause a lot of damage but makes it hard for someone like me to handle. It’s cold. There are markings on the blade itself, but they’ve been worn away by use and time. This is the one. I can feel it. I take it to the statue and place it where it belongs.

“You…” Ajunta Pall says, breaking his silence as I put my belt back on, “… that is the one. That is the blade that destroyed me. Take it… take it and the other blades, even… take them and go. My darkness awaits me…”

“There’s no need for you to remain here,” I say, “With the blade gone, you don’t have to stay.”

“No… need?” he repeats slowly, “What choice have I?”

“You could always return to the light. End your torment. Go haunt a few younglings or something.”

“Return?” I see he’s ignoring the younglings comment. “But… I betrayed my old masters. They would never let me return to the light side. It is too late… too late…”

“It’s never too late,” I say with a shrug, “The Jedi are nothing if not forgiving. You’ve suffered long enough, and it couldn’t hurt to try.” He’s dead. The worst that could happen is he can’t go back and he suffers like he planned to.

What does hopeful even look like on a ghost? “If… if I could return. Oh, my Master…” Sounds like success to me. “… it has been… so long… and I regret so much…” His spirit fades, and the door opens.

We cross the bridge back. Something is waiting. What now?

I don’t even need light to recognize this sleaze. Shaardan.”The spineless worm actually made it through the tomb? I'm impressed.”

“Here for the ambience?” I ask sarcastically.

“I've been hoping that someone would do the dirty work in retrieving the sword of Ajunta Pall for some time.” he says, “It's been quite a wait.”

Jolee huffs. “Typical. Always ready to jump at what they perceive to be the easier path.”

“You wouldn't have considered, oh, I don't know,” Carth chimes, “… getting it yourself?”

Shaardan ignores the both of them. “Now that you have it, I just thought I'd relieve you of it,” he says, trying to flirt it out of me. No way, bud, I’m the queen of flirting persuasively. You can’t beat me at my own game. “It must be quite a burden, after all.”

“No, I think I’ll manage with it fine,” I say, “Kind of you to offer.”

“Oh, but I insist,” he says, practically dripping with snake oil, “I'm not about to let a chance to impress Master Uthar pass me by.” He scoffs. “Especially not for a pathetic excuse for a Sith like yourself.” Oh, we’re not flirting anymore? “Hand over the sword, worm. You know I'm the superior, here.” Even if he is the better fighter, which, he’s not, can he not see Carth and Jolee? I’ve got numbers on my side. I glance back at Carth, who has clearly been waiting for the chance to smack Shaardan upside the head.

But come on. There’s an easier way to do this. “Just let me get it out,” I say, and I set my pack down.

“Fine,” Shaardan says, “No tricks, though… I’m watching you.”

Idiot. I give him the silver sword. “Smart move” he says, “You're obviously more pathetic than I could have even imagined. Thanks for the sword… worm.”

“It’s always a dream, Shaardan,” I say sarcastically.

He’s gone by the time we exit the tomb. The archaeologist is still outside working on his datapad, but he does a double take when he sees the sword. “I don’t believe it - you actually did it!” he says excitedly, frantically moving like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. “That's it, isn't it?! How did you ever acquire it?!”

“Ajunta Pall himself told me to take it from the tomb.”

He looks a tad annoyed. “You’re joking with me, aren’t you? The Sith Lord can’t still live.”

“Well, no, it’s not a tomb without a dead guy in there,” I say, “He’s definitely dead but he still told me to take the sword.”

He thinks about this, I can see the gears in his head turning. Then, “Oh, this is quite interesting! My mentor told me that Sith apparitions might be possible, but I never truly believed it!” Believe it, baby, they talk. “Thank you for the information! I must go and inform my mentor at once of this strange news!” He starts to leave.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” I say, and he turns back. I hold out the sword to him.

“You’re giving him the sword?” Carth says, “We could have used that!”

“Ajunta Pall said he didn’t want it rotting away,” I say, “Who better to care for it than an archaeologist?”

“I still can’t believe you would just give me the sword and pass up the prestige for yourself,” the archaeologist says.

“My competition is drying up pretty quick, don’t you worry about me. You just made the find of a lifetime, after all.”

He’s too excited to think anymore about it. He pulls off his outer tunic and wraps the sword in it, before rushing back to the Academy.

I look back at Carth. “Ajunta said the sword basically doomed him. The power of the sword could easily corrupt me, or anyone who uses it. Giving it to an archaeologist, even a Sith one, pretty much guarantees it’ll never be used again.”

“I think it was a wise decision, lass,” Jolee says, “Probably the best in line with Ajunta’s wishes.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Carth says reluctantly, “I guess I just never saw the point in preserving weapons like that. But if it’s that powerful, maybe it’s for the best that nobody uses it.”

I take a deep breath. “Well,” I say, “I’ve still got another tomb in me - you guys?”

“I’ll follow you anywhere,” Carth says. God, the romance in a statement like that - you’re killing me, Bunny Man.

“You’re just going to drag me along anyway,” Jolee says, “Might as well go willingly.”

One more tomb on this side of the Valley. Let’s go.

#star wars #knights of the old republic #kotor #autistic artist #fiction #specs writes stuff #kotor fic #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #carth onasi #jolee bindo #shaardan #ajunta pall #korriban #chapter 93

[allronix]

Replaying KOTOR 1: Part 13

1. Gee, these Sith students are...pathetic. Petty bullies, really. they aren’t even creative about it. There's more to the Dark Side than strutting around and pretending you're hot shit. By the Force, they're worse than some moron who snorted enough coke to make Tony Montana blush. Lana and Marr would fry them for embarrassing the name.

2.  However, these embarrassingly bad "Sith" really bring out the snark in my crew, and that's worth the popcorn.

3. The Valley of the Dark Lords still is visually stunning.16 years on, and it’s still shocking how wonderfully austere it all is. 

4. And...finally. A Sith who acts somewhat sane. Despite the limits in the game model, Yuthura is an incredibly striking woman. You learn more from her about the Sith in five minutes than Lucas managed in five movies. (Thank you, Bioware!) And for better and worse, she explains it in a way that actually makes a degree of sense on why someone would go for that path. The biggest flaw in the whole thing is their definition of "strong" just means "I stabbed the other guy before he stabbed me." It's a narrow view of strength which caused them to do a better job of damaging themselves than they ever did the Republic. Little wonder the Rule of Two was a necessity.

5. And my competition is a bunch of those dull-witted punks who had nothing better to do than petty bullying around Dreshdae. Uthar, you're a classy and smart guy. Why did you waste effort on these clowns?

6. Y'know, on a meta level, it kinda makes me wonder just HOW Dustil got in this mess. Did Saul find him and pass a couple bribes to sneak him in as a kind of backhanded "apology" behind the scenes? Was Dustil a case like the Inquisitor, where he was intended as duel room fodder and climbed his way up instead? No matter what it was, there's a story involved...and his old man wouldn't want to know it.

7. I forgot just how much of a headache dealing with two hotheaded Onasi boys was. Hate to say it, but there is absolutely no mistaking Dustil for anyone ELSE'S son.  And massive kudos to Mardsen for being able to imitate Sbarge's speech pattern. I'm totally headcanoning it as a Telosian accent.  

8. Dak, I'm sorry you did not get the memo about Juhani being a lesbian. Probably would have saved you a lot of trouble. At least you are getting off this shithole planet.

9. Let's see...I goad Lashowe into a fight and get her killed, but it was her choice to draw the saber first instead of going back with me. I don't have to do much to get Kel to leave. I convince Mekel to leave, too. I exploit Shaardan's laziness and stupidity, getting him killed. I show Dustil that the Sith killed his girlfriend and get him to leave. I also learn that Yuthura really isn't so much evil as just doing the wrong thing for the right reasons and got lost along the way...So, of course, I'm going to befriend her and team up with her to nail Uthar. Like the Sith I am, I got rid of the competition. I just did it in the way we would see later running LS Sith on SWTOR.

10. Um...Carth. You REALLY shouldn't be able to see Ajunta Pal, much less understand what he's saying. Guess we can add that to the list.

11. Okay. So, I kill Uthar's former master and take his journal full of ramblings. I get rid of my competition. I also take care of the droid with the overdeveloped hearing.  I also hand Ajunta's cursed sword over to Uthar, making it his problem. I dose the Mandalorian so he lives, but also gives me the information Uthar wants, AND I let those students escape...while conning Uthar into giving me credit for all of it. The Sith are easier to swindle than Czerka.

12. I know that if you hit Korriban before the Leviathan that Kel and Yuthura end up on Dantooine. But since the Leviathan happened earlier, I kinda wonder where else they end up.

13. Gotta love laying waste to the Academy. It was their choice to come at me with the sabers lit, so not much of a choice on my end other than killing them in self-defense. Nothing screams “I’m a better Sith than all of you assholes put together” louder and harder than that, though.

14. On a meta level? An LS Sith heretic along the lines of LS!Warrior or Inquisitor, or Ashara and LS!Jaesa is probably a more accurate assessment of how I play my Revan than a Jedi. But that’s probably going to have to be its own post. 

#KOTOR #knights of the old republic #fandom meta

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 86

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 85. Chapter 87.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

A/N: I loved writing this chapter so so much. Almost as much as I loved writing chapter 89, but that hasn’t been posted yet so y’all gotta wait.

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It’s late, closer to evening, when we meet Master Uthar. He’s older and gray. Not his hair, his skin. But he has a sort of wisdom to him. Different from the wisdom of the other Jedi I’ve met, but a wisdom nonetheless. He looks at me knowingly. No idea what he knows, because if he knows why I’m really here, he’d have me killed. He stands in the center of a large entry hall and addresses me, Mekel, Shaardan, and Lashowe. “Greetings, prospective students,” he says to us all, “It appears we have a late entry. Who do you bring before me, Yuthura? A young human, bristling with the Force?”

“A human that has had some training, it seems, Master Uthar,” she tells him, “Very promising, I think.”

Shaardan laughs. “Promising?” he repeats, “Hmph. That one's not worthy to lick spit off your shoes, Master!” 

“I met this one in the colony,” Lashowe adds, “Unworthy, if you ask me.”

“That I'll judge for myself, thank you,” Uther says, waving them to silence. “What is your name?” he asks me.

“Rena Visz.”

“Well, then, Rena, tell me, what do you know of the ways of the Sith?” he asks me, “What preconceptions has your mind been polluted with?”

“Well,” I say, thinking about it, “I know duty and discipline are important all the way down the hierarchy. Never met a Sith who wasn’t committed to his orders. When fighting them, I know they’re powerful, a force to be reckoned with. Great duelists. Good technique.” I shrug. “Never had one able to beat me in a friendly duel, but… Killed a fair few.” Why did I say that? That was so stupid to say.

“Hmm…” he says passively, “Most impressive, if it is true. Those who were too weak to stand against you deserved their fate, so expect no retribution from us.” Thank God for that. “There is much you can learn from the Sith, and we from you.” He then addresses the others as well as me. “The Jedi equate the light with goodness and strength and the dark with weakness and evil. That is their tradition and it is truly no surprise that they cling to it for comfort. We, however, do not treat the Force as a burden. We treat it as a gift, a thing to be celebrated. We use it to acquire power over others.” That, I hate. “And why should we not?” Morals, maybe? “Because the Jedi say we should not? We are as the Force is meant to be. The Jedi would hide that from you. They would tell you the Dark Side is too quick, too easy, all so that they need never challenge the passions that lie within them. Joining with us means realizing your true potential. It means not stifling yourself solely for the sake of hide-bound shamans and their antiquated notion of order. Be what you were meant to be.”

He turns to Lashowe. “What say you, Lashowe? Are you ready to learn the secrets of the dark side? Dare you?”

“I dare, Master Uthar!” she exclaims, “I’m ready!”

“Brash and fiery, as expected. Turn that passion to your advantage, child,” he says, and he turns to Mekel. “What of you, Mekel? Are you ready?”

“I am, Master,” Mekel says, “I’m ready.”

He nods at Mekel. “I sense much anger within you, young one. That is good. That will provide you power.” He turns to Shaardan. “And Shaardan… what of you?”

“I am always ready!” Shaardan says far too eagerly.

“I see,” Uthar says, not impressed, “You had best gather your wits for the trial ahead, boy, or you will not last.” And finally, he turns back to me. “And you, Rena? Does this interest you? Are you ready to learn more of what I speak?”

Not in the slightest, but I have to stay here until I find Dustil and get the Star Map. So I lie. “I’m ready to learn more.”

“Are you?” I hate that skepticism in his voice, it makes me feel uneasy. “I can see into your heart, Rena,” he says, “and I see the dark kernel that is there. If it is ready to sprout remains to be seen.”

He turns to address us all again. “Now, then,” he says, “All of you four recruits have shown a degree of facility with the Force… you all have the potential to become true Sith. Only one of you, however, will succeed. The one who succeeds will be admitted to the academy as a full Sith. All others must wait until next year and try again… if you survive.” He gestures to Yuthura. “My pupil, Yuthura, shall be your teacher and master while you attempt to prove yourselves. Heed her words.”

Yuthura steps forward. “As Master Uthar said, none of you are true Sith yet,” she says to us, “For that to occur, one of you must do enough of worth - gain enough prestige - to be selected. What is an act of worth? You must learn that for yourselves. Remember that you are competitors, here - fight for your destiny, or go home.”

Uthar speaks again. “If you wish to gain a lead over your competitors, the first of you to learn the Code of the Sith and tell me of it will be rewarded. The rest is for you to discover.” Sounds like fun - I have to compete against some of the most competitive people in the universe. “Welcome to the Dark Side, my children. Your one chance at true greatness lies here.”

The three of us are led to a bed chamber marked with my name. It’s not very big, mostly a bed and a footlocker with a computer terminal, but they’ve also given me two bedrolls, presumably for Carth and Jolee - my slaves, remember? Jolee hates it, but Carth and I both agree to give him the bed. He’s older and bitchier than either of us, so there’s no changing our minds. We all push the bed as close to the wall as it will go, so there’s more room for the bed rolls. 

Jolee falls right to sleep. And it’s a pretty heavy sleep. I spend some time using the computer terminal, trying to get a map of the Academy. Gives me a place to start looking for Dustil, and maybe find the archives. It makes sense to me that they would have information on the terentatek, information that I can actually access, unlike the Jedi. 

Carth comes up to me. “Hey,” he says, “can I talk to you? It’s important.”

Oh. “Yeah, sure.” I load the map into my datapad and sit on the floor next to him. “What’s up?”

“You know, I was listening to what you told Yuthura earlier,” he says, “Pretty intense stuff.”

“Yeah,” I say, “Sorry I stole from your story a little bit.”

“I’m not bothered by that, don’t worry about it.”

“I didn’t think you would be, given the circumstances.”

“And when you told her Jolee and I were slaves, I was a little surprised. Mostly surprised that she bought it,” he says, “Because you’re a lousy liar, I think I’ve said that before.”

“You have.”

“But what I’m trying to figure out is…” he says slowly, and I notice now his hand is resting on his blaster pistol, “… you’re not a good liar at all, but your story to Yuthura, about your views on the Jedi, was convincing. Convincing enough to fool a Sith. Hell, convincing enough to where I couldn’t tell if you were lying or not. And the last time that happened… well, you know what happened…”

“Carth, what are you asking me?”

“I wanted to be in here, sure, to find Dustil,” he says, “but I’m starting to wonder why you wanted to be in here.”

His hand on his blaster looks less passive now. And it’s making me a little nervous. “Carth…”

“I’m asking you this because you’re my friend and I care about you,” he says quickly, “Why did you want to get into this academy?”

“I told you,” I say, “To get to the Star Map and find Dustil.”

And now his blaster comes out. Now, even as close as he is, I could still get the blaster out of his hand. I could still take him out if he makes me, if I have to. But he wouldn’t be doing this if he really wanted to hurt me. If Carth wanted to hurt me, he wouldn’t have let me see the blaster. I’ve had my back to him enough. He could have shot me while I was asleep. If he wanted to take me out, he wouldn’t be doing this. “I want you to tell me, yes or no,” he says, hand steady, eyes almost glistening, and the emotion I get off of him is a firm, repeating, “not again”, “do you want to join the Sith?”

I try to stay calm. I take a deep breath, and say, “No.”

“Did you mean all the things you told Yuthura?”

“Some of them,” I tell him honestly.

“What do you mean, some of them?”

I take another deep breath. “The Jedi Order has lied to me, and kept things from me. You said it yourself, they hadn’t told me everything. When they sent me to the Grove to find Juhani, they told me it was to cleanse the Grove of its dark taint. They didn’t tell me that it was a person. And that’s just a lie I’ve uncovered. I don’t think that’s the only one. On Kashyyyk, we fought a creature called a terentatek that feeds on the Dark Side, but when I went to look it up in their archives, I couldn’t find anything, like they’re actively keeping information from me. Bastila herself told me that the Jedi believe no one should be executed for their crimes, no matter what they are. The Jedi would rather restore Malak to the light than kill him, and there we disagree. I don’t think he should live when he’s killed so many people, and I don’t think you do, either.” He doesn’t respond. “I think some of their teachings are wrong and out of date, and I believe, as you do, I know you do, that the Order’s decision not to intervene in the Mandalorian War was a bad one - in face, if Revan and Malak hadn’t had to disobey the Order to help, I don’t think they would have fallen, but we’ll never know.”

“And about the Dark Side?” he says, “About it corrupting?”

“I think we’ve both felt and seen how it corrupts. But I don’t think that’s the Force so much as how you use it. At the end of the day,” I say, “all I want to do is help people. I want to help as many people as possible. On that, the Order and I agree. The Sith, on the other hand, actively dissuade helping people. The Order and I may disagree on a lot of key points, but when it comes to our ultimate goal, it’s no contest.” He doesn’t lower his blaster. “What more do you want from me, Carth?”

“I want some kind of assurance, but I don’t think that’s possible,” he says.

I think for a moment. “Maybe it is,” I say after a while, and I hold out my hand, “Take it.” He hesitates, looking at me skeptically. “If I do anything to hurt you, you’ve already got your weapon out - you could shoot me before I get close to my lightsaber.” He’s still a bit skeptical, but he takes my hand. “You’re not a Jedi,” I say, “so it won’t be the same, but I think I can still show you that I’m telling the truth. With the Force.” His grip tightens on his blaster. I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. Feel the Force.

I don’t think I can describe in words exactly what I show him. To even describe it as vibes of trust would be to undermine and cheapen it, not to mention understate. I guess… imagine a warm yellow light, imagine the safest you’ve ever felt. The first time you tried your favorite food. Sometimes that’s what the Force feels like, that warm, safe feeling. I try to tell him that I mean everything I said to him, that I would never, ever, do anything to hurt him the way he’s been hurt before. I don’t ever want to look at him and feel the heart-stab he feels when he talks about Dustil and Morgana, his wife, and know that I did that. I couldn’t live with myself, love or no love. To feel his anger and disappointment in me is not a pain I think I could bear. The reason you are here, Carth, I try to tell him, is that I could never fall to the Dark Side if you’re there. You’ve already been hurt too much and I don’t want to do that to you again. I don’t want you to have to watch it and know that you couldn’t stop it. Not again.

He sets down his blaster, and lets go of my hand. He smiles and looks up at me, his eyes glistening with tears. “Thank you,” he mouths, his throat choking.

“It’s the truth,” I say. He nods wordlessly.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he says. For the blaster, I assume.

“Don’t worry about it,” I say, “I understand.”

“No, for…” he starts to say, but he cuts off. I look at him curiously. Until he finally finishes: “Everything.”

Okay, now I have no idea what he means. But that was kind of draining, for both of us it would seem. I feel like I could actually sleep the whole night through.

I wonder if I told him more than I meant to…

#knights of the old republic #star wars #kotor #fiction #autistic artist #kotor fic #specs writes stuff #revanasi #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #carth onasi #revan x onasi #jolee bindo #korriban #mekel #lashowe #yuthura ban #shaardan #uthar wynn #chapter 86

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 84

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 83. Chapter 85.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

A/N: Well, that’s the end of one notebook. On to the next one.

——————

Now that we’re actually in the colony of Dreshdae, it’s clear that the government power structure here is “Sith Sith Sith Sith and Czerka.” Most places with Czerka shops are “Czerka Czerka Czerka and whoever else.” Everything is Czerka. Your damn underwear is Czerka. But here Czerka is more of an afterthought.

There are a bunch of Sith students wandering around, and a bunch of hopefuls. It’s easy to tell them apart - the students, like Shaardan and Lashowe, all wear a gold-plated medallion around their necks. And all the hopefuls stare at it, conniving to figure out how to get their hands on one. “Carth, you see anyone here who looks like Dustil?” I ask him.

He scans the faces. “No,” he says, “but he’s been gone for so long, he’s grown up. What if I don’t recognize him?”

I look at him. “Trust me,” I say, “You’ll recognize him. Maybe not with your eyes, but with your heart, your soul. He’s your son, you’ll always know him.”

He stops and looks at me, actually looks at me. “Okay, Bastila,” he teases, “What, did you eat a Jedi tome for breakfast this morning?”

Jolee chuckles. “You wear the robe for long enough, the wisdom just diffuses in,” he says.

Ooh. “Hey, you know what, I just had an idea,” I say, “Cover me.” I pull off the Jedi robe, leaving me in an average tunic, and I hand the robe bundle to Jolee. “If the Sith manage the computer system, then they should keep a census, right? Keep track of everyone on the planet.” I pull out my tools and go over to a panel on the wall. “Let me see if I can pull it up, it’ll just look like I’m making repairs.”

“What if you get caught?” Carth asks.

“You let me worry about that.”

The display on the computer screen is just generic Sith. A hospitality-tourism service. I hand Carth my tool pack and grab my panel tool. “I think I remember - I met a Sith droid tech once on one of my scouting jobs and we swapped tricks. Don’t worry, I didn’t sleep with him or anything -” I say, because Carth starts to object a bit, I can see his mouth hanging open, “- we just talked shop. And he told me that all Sith systems have a programmer override code built in, for troubleshooting. It’s a universal code.”

“Did he tell you what it was?”

“Sure did, but I had to get him drunk first.” Alpha, alpha, double-bar, beta, sigma, little red star - the only way he could remember it was that rhyme. With the code in, the screen goes dark, and I open up a panel to get into the circuits. “Like taking candy from a gizka.”

“You there!” Sith trooper coming over to us.

“Just relax,” I whisper to Carth and Jolee, “I’ve got this.”

“What are you doing? Show me your work orders.”

“I don’t have any. Master Edoch here,” I say, indicating Jolee, “he just flagged me down in the hall. I’m fixing his computer access. He said all his readings were coming up in Rodian.”

“I’m not familiar with a Master Edoch,” the trooper says.

“He’s a guest of the Academy, I guess,” I say, “I don’t know, I’m just here to fix things.”

For some reason he doesn’t think to talk to Jolee. Maybe Jolee used the Force on him, I don’t know. “Come to think of it, I don’t recognize you, either.”

“No, I’m new around here,” I say, “I was serving in the fleet, but they transferred me.”

“Is that so?” he says skeptically, “I’ll have to verify that with my commander.”

“Go ahead,” I say, turning around and putting my tool back, “I’m sure your commander would love to be bothered about a simple tech just trying to fix something for a Sith master. Yeah, that’ll definitely reflect well on you.”

“You’ve got quite a mouth on you, girl,” the trooper says. But he pauses. “I’m going to let you off with a warning this time. Next time be sure to get proper work orders before you start working.” 

“I’ll do that.” And he just leaves. 

Carth releases the biggest sigh of relief I’ve ever heard. “I can’t believe that worked,” he says, “I thought we were going to get arrested.”

“The key is just enough confidence to make the other guy doubt himself.”

Now that I’m not being bothered by a Sith trooper anymore, getting into the Academy records is relatively easy. I don’t have complete and total access - like I can’t read files from Master Uthar’s personal database, he’s the head of the Academy - but I can get into basic stuff like the library catalog, employment records, and a school roster. The student list is long, and almost everyone has at least one symbol next to it. Some of the symbols are listed on a key - new initiate, second year, honor roll, stuff like that - but others aren’t, and I can only assume that’s information for Master Uthar and the other instructors. So it doesn’t matter to me. I search for the name Dustil Onasi. There’s only one. “There he is,” I say to Carth, and he looks at the screen, “He’s in his third year, high Force sensitivity marks, fair combat marks. Looks like he’s well-liked.”

“He’s in the Academy, then?” he says, “We have to get in there.”

“Carth, calm down,” I say softly, “Look, let me get the system back to rights, we’ll go into the cantina and we can talk about it. I don’t want to attract anymore attention, else we might get asked a question I can’t lie my way out of.” He takes a couple breaths and nods, and I set the system back to normal. Roll up my tools, take my robe back from Jolee, and we go into the cantina.

Pfft. “The Drunk Side,” what a great name.

Carth sits down at a corner table, facing the door. If Dustil walks in, I guess he doesn’t want to miss him. “Carth,” I say to him, sitting opposite him, “I want to find Dustil as much as you do, but our primary concern is the Star Map.”

“I know, I know,” he says with a sigh, “It’s just -- you can’t blame a guy for being preoccupied.”

“Never said I did.”

“You and Bastila were getting dreams about where they are, right?” he asks, “What do you know about this one?”

I shrug. “They’re never exactly clear,” I say, “This one felt… underground, sort of? But not in a natural cave, the walls were too smooth… And it was cold. And it… smelled. Musty.” I shake my head a bit - my focus started to drift a little. “Bastila thinks it’s in some kind of tomb.”

Carth looks off into the middle distance, tapping his fingers on the table. Then, “I’ve got an idea.” He stands up.

“What are you thinking?”

“You talk to droids,” he says, “Well, I talk to pilots.” And he just walks over to a couple of older guys. They start talking, he smiles, they each say a couple short words and numbers and suddenly they act like old friends. Then Carth looks over at me. “Rena, come on over,” he says. So I go, what the hell. He introduces me to the two, one is older and one is younger. “This is Kell and Owen,” he says, “They’re pilots.”

“Freighter pilots,” Owen, the older one, corrects, “Nothing like the Ebon Hawk.”

“Yeah,” Kell, the younger one, nods, “I’d love to fly something with a bit of thrust for once.”

“Wow, first the dockmaster, now you guys,” I say, “Does everyone know about the Hawk here?”

“In a small colony like this, everyone knows everyone's business,” Owen says.

“It's better than thinking too much about all the Sith lurking about, here,” Kell scoffs a bit, “The Hawk's been in and out of here for ages. An out-of-the-way starport is a good place for, uh, privateers… Not saying you are one.”

No, but Davik apparently was. “Did the Sith call you in?” Owen asks, “They’ve got a lot of stuff going out. Work’s been pretty steady since the Sith started their excavations up on the surface.”

“In case you're forgetting, partner,” Kell says to Owen, “they don't exactly want us talking about their business.”

“Ah, who cares about them?” Owen says, obviously not giving a damn, “I've seen some of those things they're digging up in those ruins in the valley. Pretty creepy, if you ask me.”

Ruins? The Star Map on Dantooine was in ruins. “What exactly are they digging up?” Carth’s grinning a bit - his grin is so sexy. Focus, Rena.

“Weird artifacts,” Owen says, “Looks like alien stuff. Maybe aliens lived on Korriban a long time ago, who knows?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Kell says, “I was talking to one of those Sith and he said there are tombs there dating back to when the Sith were here in ancient times.”

“There were Sith here in ancient times?” Owen repeats, then he scoffs. “Sounds like he was feeding you a line. Korriban's only been settled for a short time.”

“So says you,” Kell retorts, “He said that the planet was settled by the Sith a long time ago, and then they all left or something. Those tombs are really important to them.”

Tombs. That’s what Bastila thought. I look back at Carth, still grinning. Oh, you smart, sexy man, I could kiss you. “Tombs, hey?” Owen says, “That makes the stuff they send us even creepier. Wish I didn't have to haul it around.”

“How would one get to these excavations, exactly?” I ask.

“It's in a valley on the surface,” Kell says, “beyond some mountains to the east. No land route - that's why they have us fly in.”

“Shows what you know,” Owen says, “The academy has a route through the mountain -  that's how all their students get to the excavation site.”

“Well, regardless,” Kell says to him and me, “the Sith don't let anybody near that valley.” He scoffs. “Even when we land, they watch us like a Drayberian hawk and want us gone quickly.”

Carth leans over my shoulder and whispers into my ear, “Sounds like we’ve both got reasons to get into the Academy.” He thanks the pilots, and we go.

I wonder where Jolee went. Oh, wait, there he is, he was buying supplies from the Czerka office, watching Czerka staff taking the stuff back to the Hawk. He looks at us as we walk over to him. “You can never have enough spare parts and medpacs, right?” he asks rhetorically, “I also got sold some local ale and actual food. After twenty years of living off the land, synthesized food tastes like tach droppings.” He shudders in disgust, then asks, “So, what have you two been up to?”

“Oh, just learning where the Star Map is,” I say casually, “Roughly.”

He looks at me skeptically. ‘I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“No, and neither do I,” I say with a sigh, “but it’s what we have to do. We have to find a way into the Sith Academy.”

#knights of the old republic #kotor #star wars #fiction #autistic artist #kotor fic #specs writes stuff #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #carth onasi #jolee bindo #korriban #sith academy #chapter 84

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 83

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 82. Chapter 84.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——————

Well, that’s interesting. The Star Map on Tatooine was obviously in a cave, but this one is more like underground. But not like a natural cavern. It was constructed, or at least constructed around. Bastila isn’t in the quarters when I wake up, so as soon as I get dressed, I head out into the main hold. Carth’s in there, sitting in front of an untouched cup of caff. No idea how long it’s been there, or how long he’s been there, but the cup isn’t steaming so it’s obviously cold.

Bastila’s in there, looking a little dazed, but when I come in, she sits up and looks at me. “You felt it, yes?” she asks, “Another vision? The Force continues to work through us; showing us the Star Maps unearthed by Revan and Malak.” She looks a little unsettled now. “There are some who believe Korriban is the birthplace of the Sith… this planet is an evil place. There are secrets here best left uncovered.”

I sit down next to her. “It looked like the Star Map was underground somewhere.”

“Yes, during the vision I felt cold and trapped, almost as if I was buried alive. It felt… it felt like we were in some kind of tomb. No doubt things will become more clear once we discover the Star Map's location.”

“Right, about that ‘we,’” I say, “I think if you go out there, the Sith might recognize you.”

She resituates herself. “Hmm…” she says, “…maybe you're right. Most of the dark Jedi would only know me by name, but there are a few among them who might recognize my face. For the safety of our mission I must remain on the Ebon Hawk while we are on this planet.”

“That seems wise,” I say.

She gives a small nod. “Have you thought about who you do want to accompany you?” she asks, “I know you prefer to have both a ranged fighter and a Jedi.”

“Yeah,” I say, “Obviously can’t bring you. And Juhani - she’s already been to the Dark Side. I don’t want to put her back in that position. Which leaves Jolee.”

“I agree, he is the smart choice,” she says, “He’s powerful enough in the Force to shield your presence from the Sith. And for a ranged fighter? HK-47 would fit right in, I’m sure.” She grins at that.

“I’m sure he would, but I’m taking Carth.”

“Damn right, you are,” he says. Which is the first indication I have that he’s actually awake.

Bastila’s not a big fan of that. “I see,” she says in that disappointed neutral tone she has, “Rena, may I speak to you in private?” I shrug and follow her. She goes into the communications room and closes the door. “Are you sure bringing Carth is wise?” she asks, “After all, your feelings for him are quite strong. Or are you going to deny them again and insult both our intelligence?”

Oh, God, this again? “It doesn’t matter how wise it is, I wouldn’t be able to keep him here if I wanted to,” I say, “Jordo said his son is here, if I don’t bring him with me, he’ll go off looking for him himself and get us all in trouble, blow our cover. No, he’s coming.” I hate that look on her face. “And by the way,” I add, “my feelings for Carth are none of your business.”

“Rena…” she says in that disapproving teacher voice she gets, “I’ve said before, and it’s even more relevant now. These feelings for Carth could lead you to the Dark Side.”

I hate that! Even after the conversation with Jolee last night, which I would love to tell Bastila about and explain to her all of that, even though I know she would never listen to me. And I - you know, I could be patient enough to explain it to her if she wasn’t so damn holier-than-thou all the damn time! “You’re one to talk!” I exclaim, “Listen, I know how close you’ve gotten with Canderous. Hell, I’m pretty sure I heard the two of you having sex the other night! And you’re telling me about my feelings and the Dark Side? Like hell! Why do you get to have something and I don’t? Huh? What the hell kind of double standard is that?”

“Rena, that’s not what I meant…”

“So what did you mean?” How is she going to back away from this?

“I only meant that, those feelings, here, are incredibly dangerous!” she says, “Anywhere else, they’re foolish but understandable. But here on Korriban - the homeworld of the Sith! The Dark Side is particularly strong here already! I don’t want your feelings to cloud your judgement when it’s so easy for you to fall.” She stops and looks at me. “You don’t believe my reasons, do you?”

“Get the hell out of my head, Bastila,” I say, and I start to leave. “And for the record, no, I don’t. I’m frankly sick of your holier-than-thou attitude about this whole thing, and in general. You’re not my master, you’re not my mother, and you’re making it difficult for me to consider you my friend!”

“Calm down, Rena,” she says. Like hell! “Anger can lead…”

“Shut up about the fucking Dark Side! I get it, okay? God!” I know, I know, I’m fine. I take a deep breath and try to speak more calmly. “If I want your advice, I’ll ask for it.”

“Very well,” she says with a big sigh, “I will leave you be.”

I walk out a lot angrier than I mean to. I just need to calm down a bit. I almost crash into Jolee, but I stop myself before I barrel full-force into him. “You all right, lass?” he asks.

“Just a bit riled up,” I say, trying to take deep calming breaths, “Bastila giving me crap again. Would you come with me onto Korriban?”

“Yes, I think that would be a wise idea,” he says, “When would you like to leave?”

“I want to swap out my implant, then we can go,” I say, “I’ll wait by the ramp.” He gives me a small nod and we part ways. I go back to the starboard quarters and swap out the adrenaline implant I’ve got in there with one that should calm me down a bit more. The adrenaline was great when I was having allergy problems - now, not so much. And no, I don’t think the adrenaline caused my reaction to Bastila. It didn’t help, but it didn’t cause it. Either way, going out this angry is not a good idea. I need to focus, on the Star Map mostly but also on finding Carth’s son. And on not standing out.

Czerka controls the docks here, like the last two planets, but it seems different here. We walk up to the dock master. “Ahh, I see,” he says, “Another Jedi come to small Korriban, yes? Good to meet you.” He’s a lot nicer than the other Czerka dock masters.

“Jedi come here often, do they?” I ask.

“There are many people who come to Korriban from throughout Sith space, hoping to join the academy. Some of them are Jedi who have left the order. You will get into the academy for certain.” Who, me? “I understand Jedi who have left the light side are made very welcome.”

Seems like a cover has been established for me. Nice. “So I imagine.”

“But enough about that,” he says. Right, he’s about to ask me for money, I should get ready to tell him otherwise. “It is very nice to see that the Ebon Hawk has returned. I have not seen that ship for some time, indeed.” Wait, what? That really threw off my rhythm. “Since you're a regular to our little colony, the docking fee is only 25 credits.”

“Uh… sure,” I say, “Here.” I pull out my datapad and transfer the credits.

“Excellent,” he says, “Continue on through. Please be aware that the colony is under Sith jurisdiction. I'd advise you to stay out of their way.”

“We usually do,” Jolee says, and we walk on through. So now I’m out twenty-five credits. Which isn’t a big deal in and of itself, I can just sell a blaster pistol and make that back twice over. I’m just a bit more surprised that I gave it. But whatever, I shrug it off. 

Trouble coming. The first of a lot of trouble. “No,” I hear a human man scold, “that is the wrong answer. Again! You pathetic hopefuls can't possibly all be this stupid, can you?”

“P-please, Master Shaardan!” someone pleads, “Give us a chance! We'll do anything to get into the academy!”

As we get closer, I can see this Shaardan. God, what a prick. He’s the kind of guy who would kick a puppy for laughs. And now he’s got three people feeding his ego. He huffs pridefully. “I'm no master… yet… but I like the sound of that,” he says, grinning, “Alright, one more question, though the lot of you are trying my patience. Alright. Let's say you become a Sith and I am your commanding officer. I give you an order to spare the life of an enemy. Do you do it?”

Hell, I know the answer to that one. In that situation you would kill both the enemy and your leader, who’s obviously gone soft. That’s the Sith way, anyway. But these guys are a bit desperate. “Oh, of course, Shaardan!” one of them says, “Anything you command us!”

“We would never oppose you!” another says.

“No, no, no!” Shaardan says with a sigh, “Do you honestly believe that the Sith are in need of such sniveling cowards? Mercy is a weakness. If your leader shows weakness, it is your duty to kill him and show true authority, true power! That is why the Sith are strong.”

Oh, God, he’s going to kill them and they know it. “Th-thank you, Shaardan,” the third stammers, “We, uh… we understand now!”

“No, you don't understand,” he says, “And you probably never will. You wouldn't survive five seconds in the academy - the other students would tear you apart!” They start to tremble, as hard as they’re trying not to. “Bah!” he exclaims, “I can't be bothered with fools! Perhaps… I should… hmmm…”

And then he turns to me. Oh, shit. “You! Jedi!” he says, “You're looking to get into the academy, are you not?” Then he scoffs a moment. “Of course you are - why else would you be here? Let me pose a question to you. These hopefuls will never survive in the academy. A lesson must be taught, here, but I am at a loss as to what form it should take.”

Carth scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Oh, this is rich,” he says under his breath.

Jolee takes a more adversarial approach. “Well, if you can't think of anything cruel you really shouldn't be out here, young man, should you?”

Shaardan sneers at him. “I wasn’t talking to you!” he shouts at Jolee. Then he acknowledges me again. Oh, good God, that look on his face, he thinks I’m attracted to him, because of course I am, he’s the greatest person and the strongest Sith on the planet, isn’t he? Maybe even in the sector, maybe even the galaxy! God, I hate people like that. I’d punch him, but that doesn’t seem like a good idea right now. Shaardan walks closer to me, and talks like he’s ordering a meal. “I'm thinking to spare them the effort of being killed and do it myself,” he says, “Perhaps I shall turn their skin inside out? Or Force Lightning? It is a most impressive display. Or perhaps a bit of humiliation is in order? I could easily strip off their tunics and make them run through the colony. Or they could lose all control of their bodily functions… What do you think, darling? I just can't seem to decide.” Did he just grab my ass?

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jolee holding Carth back. Which is a good idea - I’ve got this. “You know,” I say, leaning into a bit of a sultry voice, “I think you should let them go.”

He moves away, out of either shock or disgust. I don’t care - if it gets his hand off my ass so be it. “Let them go?” he repeats, “And what could possibly convince me to do that?”

“They aren’t worth your time,” I say, still with the sexy voice. He’s not as into it anymore, but it certainly helps feed his ego. I’m not going to take him down a peg now. I’d much rather get these people out of the way.

Shaardan sighs. “I suppose not, but you're as boring as they are.” Good, I can relax. He turns back to them. “Fine, fine, go on, all of you. Hopefully you've learned something here.” They run before he can change his mind. Shaardan touches me again before he leaves.

Carth is incensed. “If Jolee hadn’t held me back, I would have killed him,” he says.

“Believe me, I wanted to punch him, too,” I say. At least he’s gone and we can go.

More trouble up ahead, of the same arrogant variety. Thankfully, there’s no innocents to get out of the way this time. Just a group of Sith Academy punks who missed their chance to be bullies as kids. “Look here, my dear friends,” says their ringleader, a human - a woman who would be pretty attractive if she wasn’t such an asshole, “We have some newcomers to the colony… led by a Jedi, no less.” 

“Great,” Carth mumbles, “just what we needed. Some punks come to steal our lunch credits.”

“I don't believe I've seen any of them before, have you?” she says.

Jolee does a small scoff. “Well, if you'd seen us before, we wouldn't be newcomers, would we?”

She laughs. “Smart-mouthed newcomers, to boot.”

“Looks pretty fresh to me, Lashowe,” one of her friends says.

“That's what I thought,” she says, “Well, stranger, I don't know whether you're aware of this or not, but here on Korriban the Sith do as they please. And we are Sith. Quite literally, whether you live or die depends upon our whim. What do you think of that, hmm?”

“I think threatening a stranger is a weird thing to do,” I say, “Does that sort of meager power trip make you feel better about yourself?”

“Those are brave words for such an insignificant person,” Lashowe says, “Do you not realize how many Sith are here in Dreshdae?”

“Twelve?” Jolee says, “No, wait, thirteen!”

“Is this a raffle?” Carth says sarcastically, “How many guesses do we get?”

One of Lashowe’s friends gets pissed. “Let me kill this one, Lashowe! Let me do it!”

“Now, now,” she says, holding him back, “let's not be hasty. Perhaps our friend here could yet offer up some amusement.”

“You want amusement, hit the cantina,” I say, “I’m not a dancing girl.”

It feels tense between me and Lashowe for a moment before one of her friends laughs. “Looks like this one's not afraid of you at all, Lashowe.”

She gets mad at him. “Are you going to let us be insulted?!”

“Oh, get over yourself already,” he says, “I’m tired of this.”

A third agrees. “Yeah, this one's got some backbone, at least,” he says, “Let's go.”

Lashowe, obviously overruled and obviously upset about it, leaves with them. “Fine,” she says, not fine, “I'll deal with you later.” Ooh, I’m all a-tremble. Get real. 

#knights of the old republic #star wars #kotor #fiction #autistic artist #specs writes stuff #kotor fic #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #bi!revan #carth onasi #revanasi #jolee bindo #bastila shan #korriban #swearing #implied torture tw #lashowe #shaardan #implied assault tw

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 87

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 86. Chapter 88.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——————

I actually did manage to sleep the whole night - in fact, I’m the last to wake up, which is far from normal. I stretch a bit before Jolee asks me, “So, what’s the plan? Any ideas?”

“Well, first thing is to get to those tombs, figure out which one the Star Map is in,” I say, “Second is check the other rooms for Dustil. I’ve got all the dorms marked on the map I downloaded. Shouldn’t take much time to find his room.”

I start to pull on the top of my robe before Jolee stops me. “I think they gave you a more evil looking robe with the room.” He opens up the footlocker and pulls out a red lightsaber - which I am not using, it’s not my color - and a darker Jedi robe. And I have to admit, I like the darker color. So what the hell, I change robes. And with that, we head out.

We don’t get too far before we run into Yuthura, who looks eager to see me. “There you are,” she says, “my favorite prospect for the year.”

Oh? “Your favorite?”

“Absolutely,” she says, leaning on the wall, “By my estimation, you are far more likely to achieve the prestige necessary to join the Sith than any of the others. As a matter of fact, I am so certain of that that I'm willing to offer you an opportunity of the once-in-a-lifetime variety. Would you like to hear it?”

I shrug. “Why the hell not?”

“Good,” she says, “I do so adore someone who's willing to take a chance.” She beckons me closer, and I lean on the wall next to her. “As I said, you're no doubt going to be the one whom Uthar chooses to become a Sith. With my help, of course. Once that occurs, he will take you into the Valley of the Dark Lords to the tomb of Naga Sadow to administer the final test. There you and I will be alone with him. The perfect time to, shall we say, arrange for a change in the academy's leadership?”

I don’t intend to stay for graduation if I don’t have to. “What’s so special about this tomb, anyway?”

“The tomb is an ancient ruin on the surface that was visited years ago by Darth Revan and Darth Malak. They discovered a Star Map there of great importance.” I share a look with Carth and Jolee. Well, shit, that means I’ll have to actually try to win. I can’t beat Shaardan, Mekel, or Lashowe in deviance or malice. I’ll have to be pretty damn spectacular to actually get to the final test. “Reaching that map, as they did, is part of the final test. At any rate, it is not the tomb that is important. That Uthar will be alone is what is important.”

“You want me to kill Master Uthar,” I say, “What do you get out of it? What’s your part in this?”

“My 'part' in this is to help you gain enough prestige… and slow down the progress of the other hopefuls.” Well, that should be helpful. “I want you in that tomb when the time is right. We destroy Master Uthar together and I take his place… and you take your place at my side. A beautiful plan in its sheer simplicity.”

I hum like I’m considering it. Really, I just need to get into that tomb, I don’t give a damn about Sith politics. “Very well, I agree,” I say.

“I'm so glad you see it my way,” she says, “I will begin to make preparations for your final test. Your only worry now is to get there… don't disappoint me.”

“Perish the thought,” I say, and I walk away. I sigh heavily, and say softly for Carth and Jolee to hear, “She’s going to betray me.”

“Perhaps,” Jolee says, “But if it gets you to the final test…”

“Doesn’t mean I’m just going to let it happen,” I say, “No, I think there’s another way I can play this game.”

I pause in the hallway between the rooms and the main hallway. Thinking… Maybe there’s a way I could play both sides of this. I click my tongue a little. “I’d love to know what’s going on in that tricky mind of yours,” Carth says.

“Yeah, me too, I’m just making it up as I go,” I admit, walking quickly up to Master Uthar.

He is sitting and meditating. It only makes sense to join him until he chooses to acknowledge me. Which doesn’t take long, and he doesn’t even leave his meditation to do it. “Greetings, young one,” he says, “You have much to do yet. Is there something you want?”

“Yes, master,” I say, “I have something to tell you about Yuthura.”

“Oh?” he says, breaking meditation and looking at me, “What is my apprentice up to now?”

“She wants me to help her kill you at the final trial.”

“I see,” he says neutrally, “It is good that you have come to me with this information, young one. It is a bit… ironic… that Yuthura has begun her plotting. I have been aware of her growing ambitions for some time, and had in fact already decided to remove her. Normally, the one who gains the most prestige would engage in a final trial - two of the students would fight. This time it will be Yuthura who battles, though she does not know it. Perhaps it will be you who combats her? Yes… perhaps so.” I can see his wheels turning. “This is what you can do.” He pulls out a datapad and types some instructions into it before handing it to me. “Give this pad to Adrenas - he will put some poison in her bath.” Devious. “This will weaken Yuthura for that final test, making her an easy target. Rather generous of me, don't you think?” I take the datapad with a small nod. “For coming to me with this information and betraying your foolish trainer, I feel you are worthy of prestige, young one. Go now,” he says, “you have done well. I have matters to attend to.” So I stand and leave him.

Now my mind drifts elsewhere - what if he decides to betray me? What if he decides that I’m not worth the trouble of keeping around, and decides to kill me? Not that I intend to stick around, but he doesn’t know that, and it doesn’t particularly matter. Sheerly on a matter of experience, Uthar is clearly the harder opponent. I don’t want to have to fight him alone, if I have to fight them at all. The way I see it, if you’re stuck between two powers, each determined to kill the other whatever you do, then the thing to do is make sure you survive. I know, I know, that sounds a bit Sith-y. But I’m not good to anyone dead. At the end of the day, Yuthura is not my first choice to poison. Uthar is. Yuthura’s betrayal is a given. Anyone powerful enough to take out Uthar is a threat to her superiority, as far as she’s concerned. Uthar’s betrayal is probably just me being paranoid, but paranoid seems better than optimism on a Sith planet.

She’s still in the dormitory area. I steel myself, ready to lie. Looking concerned as I approach her. “Master Yuthura!” I say to her, a note of panic in my voice - actually pretty convincing which surprises me. She turns to me and sees the concern on my face. “I was on my way to the archive library when I passed by Master Uthar - he was saying to one of the other Sith that he wants to get rid of you. He plans to have you fight whoever gets to the final test!” Not completely a lie - I did hear him talking to someone about it. That someone just happens to be me.

She narrows her eyes. Not at me, though. “How very clever of him,” she says, “Normally you - and it will be you, remember - would face some other student in the tomb, preferably one of the failed ones. In the end, however, it works out better that it is only the two of us in the tomb with him. So long as we refuse to fight. Is there anything else I should know? Did you overhear anything else?”

“No, nothing else,” I lie. Well, again, technically not a lie because I didn’t actually overhear anything. This is quite a tangled web I’m weaving. (“I’ll say,” Jolee sends me.)

“Good,” she says, relieved, “I'm not about to rest on my laurels, however.” Oh? What’s your plan, then? She looks around cautiously, before reaching into her footlocker and pulling out a passcard and some other device. “Here,” she says as she hands them to me, “This passcard will allow you access to Uthar's quarters. Take this device and put it inside his cot. No one should see you do it. Then Uthar will be too weak to stand up against us.” I start to take them, but then she quickly withdraws them for a moment. “Don't even think of failing me. You and I are too far into this now to back out.”

“I won’t,” I tell her honestly, and I put both items into my pockets.

“Go now, you still need to earn prestige,” she says, “If you want my advice, I would suggest you talk to the other prospective Sith and find one that you can gain an advantage with. I believe Lashowe would be an excellent choice.” Her? Really? I mean, she has a hairpin trigger of a temper, but taken advantage of? “She is too trusting. I have little doubt you could talk her into letting you 'help' her somehow. Just make sure that it is you who gains the advantage, not her. Be ruthless, if you must. That is the only thing that will impress Uthar.”

Well, it already has impressed him, so I suppose she’s right.

#knights of the old republic #star wars #kotor #fiction #autistic artist #specs writes stuff #kotor fic #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #korriban #sith academy #carth onasi #jolee bindo #yuthura ban #uthar wynn #chapter 87

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 85

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 84. Chapter 86.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——————

Well, maybe I don’t have to get into the Sith Academy as a student. I mean, sure, I don’t do things the Jedi way, but I’m not a terminal asshole either. I’ll stand out there like a rancor in a pottery shop. Sure, I’m chaotic enough, but I’m not horrible, and all these Sith jerks are, well, jerks. So getting into the Academy as a student is not going to be the first thing I try. First thing I’m going to try? The front door.

Outside the very large front door is a Sith trooper, which I expected, and another Academy student, which I didn’t. He’s got a medallion, the same as Shaardan and Lashowe, and he’s got the same arrogant asshole vibes that they did. He seems to be tormenting three prospective Sith students, but he’s not physically doing anything to them. Two humans, one Aqualish. There are two more on the ground next to them, collapsed from heat exhaustion, at a guess. And no one’s doing anything about it? Wow, definitely terminal assholes. Okay, Star Map, hell, I can’t just leave these people to suffer.

When I try to help the two humans - just going in order - they don’t want anything to do with me. One even scowls at me - “You’ll get your turn soon enough, fool,” he says, struggling, “And when you do” - he coughs - “I will be there, laughing as you collapse from… heat exhaustion and Mekel’s beatings!”

The Aqualish is friendlier, but still struggling. “Please…” xe says, “I have to stand at attention… ... don't distract me, whoever you are.”

“Why?” I ask, trying to offer xer some water, but xe turns it down, “Why do you have to do this?”

“I… I'm trying to prove my worth to enter the Sith academy, here,” xe says, “We were told that if we stood here long enough… we would be worthy.”

“Seems like not much to do to be worthy of anything,” Jolee says, “How long you been up to it?”

“We've been here…” xe pants, “… for so many days. I'm so hungry! Some… some of us have died.” I thought they had just collapsed, but xe’s right - I can’t feel anything from them. “But I must be strong, I must! I will keep standing!”

I indicated the Academy student standing away from him. “Did he put you up to this?”

“Yes, Mekel,” xe says, “He… h-he said this was how we would prove our worth… I must be strong! Mekel… will find me worthy… soon, I hope…”

Okay, this is stupid and cruel, I’m taking things up with the commanding idiot over there. “Hey!” I shout at him, walking over to him, “Mekel?”

“What?” he asks, very unconcerned as he takes a drink of water.

“Why the hell are you making those guys stand there? You know they’re dying, right?”

“That is the whole point!” he says, “Personally, I think it's wonderful fun… those fools actually think that if they stand there long enough, I'll let them become a Sith. Idiots.” He scoffs. “A Sith is not a bantha, all endurance and no brains. A Sith would fight for his life, no matter the odds. If these rotgrubs are as stupid as they seem, then they deserve their fate!”

“Yeah, I know that, and you know that, but how the hell are they supposed to know that?” I say, “You and I both know this isn’t a test for them so much as it is you jacking off to your own power.”

“Oh, it's a test all right,” he says, “It's a test to see if they're actually fool enough to die. If they don't, however, I certainly wouldn't admit them just for that accomplishment.”

“Oh, what a sweet guy,” Carth says sarcastically, “You should get the Sith congeniality medal.”

“Why not just shoot them where they stand?” Jolee says, “It would at least be more direct.”

“Hmm,” Mekel hums idly, “It is a bit boring standing out here all day, however. I think I'll go for some dinner… it will be fun to think of them while I gorge myself. They'll still be here in an hour or two, surely.” He chuckles a bit. “I suggest you run along before I decide to make you part of the fun.” As if. He then just strolls back to Dreshdae, leaving these three here to die.

Well, not if I have anything to say about it. I go to the Aqualish first. Xe is pretty excited, as much as xe can muster. “You… you were talking to Mekel! I saw you!” xe says, “Where did he go? D-did he… did he tell you I was worthy?!”

“Hey, hey, relax,” I say, “You were never going to be, Mekel was tricking you. He’ll never let you into the Academy.”

Xe doesn’t want to believe me, but xe looks between me, Carth, and Jolee, sees the honesty on our faces. “Wh… what?” xe gasps, “I… I've wasted all this time!” I hand xer my water, and now xe takes it. Xe drinks almost the whole thing before dropping it, and the rest of the water spills into the dust. No big deal, I can get more water. “How could I have been so… foolish!” xe exclaims, “I could have died! I'll find another way in, I swear it! I'll show him! Thank you!” Xe stumbles away, back to Dreshdae. Whether xe joins the Sith or not, I at least spared xeir life now. Gave xer the chance to change xeir mind.

“Is… is it true?” the human on the end says, “Mekel is…?”

“Yes,” I say, “It’s all a trick. Mekel never intended to let you in.”

“Oh… oh!” he says, “All this…  for nothing…” He collapses into the dirt. Dead.

The last remaining refuses to believe me. “I won't listen to your manipulations!” he says, “I… I will make it into the academy! Just… just a few hours longer… just a few hours, surely…”

Jolee places his hand on my shoulder. “You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, lass,” he tells me, “You tried. That’s all you can do.”

I hate it, but he’s right. We need to move on. I can save more people by finding the Star Maps, destroying the Star Forge, taking Malak down. It kills me, but I have to walk away. I have to get into the Academy. 

I walk up to the door. There’s no access panel, nothing to hack into. I lay my hand on the door, but it doesn’t respond to the Force. “Hey,” the Sith trooper says to get my attention, “You are neither a Sith nor do you bear the medallion of a student of this facility. Please leave at once.”

Okay, time to lie. “I’m so sorry,” I say, as earnestly as I can manage, “I think I dropped my medallion somewhere, I can’t find it anywhere. I promise, I’m a student, if you let me in I’m sure Master Uthar would recognize me.”

“You know, if you’re going to lie to me, you could at least try sounding like a Sith.” Damnit. “In order to get inside, you must be admitted to the Academy. That decision must be made by a Sith who has already been accepted, here. The final decision, however, remains with Master Yuthura. I believe she is currently at the cantina if you wish to seek her out. Now go.” Well, I guess I don’t really have an option. I have to be accepted as a student.

Yuthura is a Twi’lek name, and I think I saw a Twi’lek in the cantina. Didn’t pay any attention to her because I was focused on Carth. She’s still in the cantina when we get back there, isolated in the back. Like she used the Force to tell anyone who got close to go away. And when I get within that circle it becomes pretty clear that’s exactly what she did. She’s purple, which isn’t a common color for Twi’leks. Blue and green are more common. She’s very attractive, but I don’t think she swings my way, assuming she swings at all. So flirting isn’t the best avenue of approach. I think I’m just going to have to pretend to have left the Order.

I casually get close to her, but since it’s apparent to her that her “don’t bother me” circle isn’t holding me off, she addresses me before I get very close. “Is there something you need, Jedi?” she asks gruffly, “Make it good, for I have little patience.”

I shrug and I sit down next to her. “I guess I’m not the first Jedi you’ve met who wanted to leave the Order,” I say, “It’s amazing that those doddering old fools have any in their number at all. If you ask me, the Order is well out of its time.” She grins slightly and nods at me. “What’s your name?” I ask her.

She scoffs. “You must not have been on Korriban for very long,” she says, “Either that or you have been feeling your way about blindly.” She finishes the ale in her glass. “Luckily for you,” she says with a smile, “I am in a charitable mood. I am Yuthura Ban, second only to Master Uthar of the Sith Academy here in Dreshdae.” Jackpot! “I am the one who decides which few of the many hopefuls who travel here to train actually become a Sith. Why? Is it your desire to enter the academy? Is that why you are here?”

“As a matter of fact,” I say with a grin, “it is.” Not that I’m especially eager to throw my lot in with these guys, but the Order has given me a few incentives against them. “In the short time that I’ve been with them, the Order has done nothing but lie to me. And when they haven’t outright lied, they’ve kept information from me that could have saved my life. They’ve sent me in blind more than once. Put me with people who are either incompetent or blind, expecting me to pull them out of the fire, but obviously not trusting me enough to tell me the truth. Their teachings are relics of a bygone era. They would rather bring Malak back to the light than kill him. They preach peace so much, they ignore war. I fought against the Mandalorians” - okay, so I’m pulling from Carth’s story here, but frankly I don’t think he’d mind, given the circumstances - “and if not for Revan and Malak, they would have killed us all. But the Council elected to let the Republic fight alone? Bullshit.” I realize I’ve just given her a whole tirade, but I’m not done yet. “And then they put knowledge of the Force behind this wall they call ‘the Dark Side.’ If we weren’t meant to use it, why would we be so in touch with it? How can a force of nature be evil? How can it corrupt? Does gravity corrupt? Does the wind?”

“I see,” she says, “You mentioned killing Malak. Do you not think he should rule?”

“I think Malak would be dead if he hadn’t ambushed his master,” I say. And I believe that. Revan was the more powerful of the two, and so he became the master. “I think it’s weak to ambush an enemy rather than attack head on. On that point I agree with the Mandalorians.”

“Hmm,” she says neutrally, “You have much to learn, but still you intrigue me.” Is that a good thing? “There is something odd about you that I cannot place…” That’s what Jolee said the other day. “Obviously you are a Jedi,” she says, “One who is very strong in the Force, it seems. So were you part of the order for very long? Did they train you?”

“Yes, but not very long,” I say.

“As I thought,” she smiles, “How interesting that they would let one with such power out of their grasp. Or are you here to spy on us? For all the good it would do.” She looks me over. “With that kind of power, you could become a great Sith. Perhaps… if I let you.” Don’t beg, don’t beg. “Does that interest you?”

“It does,” I lie, “I want to join the Sith.”

I see Carth shift a little, uncomfortably. He told me once that I’m a lousy liar. And if he still thinks that, then I’d imagine he’s concerned. I doubt he still thinks that, because he’s known me for a lot longer now, so maybe he’s just very impressed by my acting. Yuthura smiles at me. “Ah, good,” she says, “Exactly the sort of answer I was hoping for. I will take you to the Academy and we shall see if you are ready to join the ranks of the Sith.” She looks past me at Carth and Jolee. “I have only one other question,” she says. Ok, think fast, Rena, think fast. “These… companions of yours? They will not be coming with you, I presume?”

Hell, no, I’m not going anywhere without Carth. “They’re slaves,” I lie quickly, “Don’t worry about them.”

Carth shifts again, even more uncomfortable. Yeah, that was a lousy lie. But Yuthura buys it. “Fair enough,” she says with a shrug, “so long as they do not disturb your training or cause any trouble. You are responsible for them.” No problem. “Let us leave. The Master of the Academy awaits you.”

#knights of the old republic #star wars #kotor #fiction #autistic artist #kotor fic #specs writes stuff #rena visz #oc #fem!revan #ls!revan #bi!revan #carth onasi #jolee bindo #mekel #yuthura ban #korriban #sith academy #chapter 85

[spectraspecs-writes]

Revanasi Fic 2

Adding on to the fic from last time.

Fandom: Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic

Universe: Kotor fic, New Canon, fem!Revan

Ships: Revanasi

Word Count unknown, I’m on mobile

Death mention tw. Possible dissociation tw

I have good days and bad days. I always remember being Revan now. The memories sometimes sort themselves out and things make sense. And some days I can cope with it and function. help with the Telosian restoration efforts like I do most days. I feel more like Rena than Revan. And I can understand that what I was then doesn’t have to affect who I am now. That Revan did those things, killed those people. Not Rena.

On bad days I can’t do that. On bad days, I can see the faces of the people Revan killed, hear them pleading for mercy, begging for their lives. Sometimes begging for death. I can feel myself holding the lightsabers that pierce the skin of my victims. And then some days all of it blends with the lives that Rena took, even in self defense. All those people on Taris and Dantooine, dead, because of me. And I remember Alek… Malak… Alek being my friend. And I killed him. As much evil as he did, I can’t forget that he was my friend.

Some days are better than others. But today is not a good day. Better than the worst days. But still a bad day.

Usually Carth sits with me on bad days, tries to distract me. Once he took me down to the surface to do some scouting for the Ithorians. (They almost definitely already knew the surface, but Carth managed to pull some strings and get us down there anyway, just so I could do what I love.) But today he can’t. Today is a busy day for the Republic outpost. They’re expecting a fuel shipment from Peragus, and those days are hectic. They’re also expecting another shipment of droids, because there have been problems with so many shipments before, and I’m supposed to work with these new droids, people have been floating back and forth from Nar Shadaa and causing problems for the TSF, plus the Republic wants updates on the restoration and Chodo Habat has put in for a shipment of boma from Onderon and no one has any idea what happened to it, and how can you just lose a freighter full of boma? Answer, you can’t. So, much as Carth would like to spend the whole day with me, we both know he can’t.

He’s rushing all around the apartment, I’m pretty sure he’s just counting things off in his head, but he’s pretty good at blocking me when he wants to. When he doesn’t want to stress me out. I’m not sure he does it on purpose, but the gesture is sweet. And I’m just sitting, following him with my eyes, just trying to keep my mind off of everything I am, everything I’ve done. And Carth wandering provides enough of a distraction to keep me from breaking down. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” Carth says into his comm, “I should be there shortly.” And he turns it off and stops in front of me. “Are you sure you’re fine with me not staying?” he asks me for the third time today, “Because I can hand things off to someone.”

“No you can’t and you know it,” I say, holding a pillow, my voice soft. Like it is on bad days.

“No, but I wish I could,” he says, and he leans in close and kissing me. “If this were any other day…”

“I know.”

“Okay, last thing,” he says, back in frantic mode, “Dustil said he would come by today, but I can tell him to do it another day if you — “

“Carth Onasi, don’t you dare blow your son off for me,” I stop him, “I’ll be fine, really. Go.”

“If you’re sure,” he says, giving me another unnecessary chance to pull him back even though he knows I’m not going to. But again, the gesture is sweet and I appreciate it. So he heads for the door. I lay down. Trying not to think.

“Dustil!” He exclaims, and I pick my head back up.

“Why do you sound surprised?” Dustil says, “I told you I’d be coming.”

“No, it’s not that, I just thought you’d — I thought you’d be here later,” Carth stammers a little. “Damn it,” he swears, “I really have to go. There’s —“

“Should I come back later, or...?”

“No!” Carth says quickly, and I can read him now, he doesn’t want Dustil to feel like his father is abandoning him for the Republic again. Even though it would be better for everyone if Dustil came back later, but Carth doesn’t want to say that because he doesn’t want to do that to his son again.“It’s...” he says hesitantly.

“Why don’t you come in, Dustil?” I say, saving Carth, “Your father’s busy right now but he’ll be back.”

“Yes! Yes, exactly,” Carth says, and he doesn’t even wait for Dustil to respond before leaving in the direction of the Entertainment Module. “I’ll try to be back in a few hours, tops!” he says as Dustil comes in. And then he closes the door and he’s gone.

Dustil seems a little uncomfortable, it’s radiating off him. Trust me, even if I wasn’t skilled in the Force I could feel it. Like he’s trying to place me beyond just “Dad’s girlfriend.” “You were on Korriban, weren’t you?” He asks. I nod, and he sits down. Trying to feel more comfortable. That was a different time, for both of us. We were different people, almost. “How’s, uh,” he starts to ask, “how’s Master Uthar?”

I give a little nod. “Dead,” I say. Dustil sort of looks in shock and repositions himself. “Died in the tomb of Naga Sadow.”

“You’re sure?” He asks. Almost reflexively, I guess.

“I should be, I hit him with my lightsaber and he didn’t get up.” Yet another of my victims. Granted, it was him or me, but still. I killed him. Not Yuthura. No, if I’d died, she would have fought him but she wasn’t fighting with full effort. She wanted me to weaken him so that if I died she could take him. And if I lived, I’d be tired enough for her to take out, and weakened by Uthar enough for her to handle. She wasn’t anticipated me to defeat him, or to spare her. That’s one of the few saving graces from that trip.

“Oh,” Dustil says, “So you...”

“Ran him through.”

“You made it to the final,” he finishes, “What happened to the others? Mekel, Lashowe...”

“Kel Algwinn returned to the light side. So did Mekel. Lashowe tried to fight me for a holocron we easily could have shared credit for, and Shaardan tried to steal the Sword of Ajuunta Pall from me but was too stupid to make sure he had the right one.”

Dustil gives a little nod. “Yeah, that sounds like him,” he says, “He always was too... stubborn and foolish for his own good. I could see that.”

“Yeah, but you’d already made it to the final test and passed,” I say, “You didn’t have to deal with him as a ‘rival,’” I say, using air quotes around “rival” - even if I wasn’t... Revan... he wouldn’t have been much of a match for me. Certainly not me, Jolee, and Carth. His saber technique was lacking, both literally and euphemistically speaking.

“Well, from what I hear he wouldn’t have been much of a match for you, either,” Dustil says. Oh, shit, what did he hear? What did Carth tell him? How much did Carth tell him? Because if he mentioned my past to Dustil, at this stage in the relationship, that’s a line he shouldn’t have crossed. That’s for me to tell people. Especially given the bad day I’m having today about all this. This would be an absolutely horrible time for Dustil to mention Revan. He and his mother were just two more victims of her. Cancerous said Malak was behind the destruction of Telos, and so was Saul Karath, but at the end of the day, who was responsible for Saul Karath? Who was responsible for Malak? Revan. Me.

“I mean, after all,” Dustil says, and I tense up a little in anticipation, “you pretty much single-handedly stopped the Sith, right?” ... okay, how far is he going with this? “Sure, you had Father’s help to find those Star Maps, but you lead the way, you used them to find the hub of the Sith fleet. And you killed Malak.” Not one mention of Revan. Either he’s being very polite or he has no idea. Even though if it wasn’t for Revan, I wouldnt have been able to access the Star Maps. I wouldn’t have been able to get into the Ruins on Dantooine, or access the Star Map on Kashyyyk at all. I wouldn’t have been able to talk to the Rakata, or get the force field down at the Temple of the Ancients. Or around the planet, for that matter. If I wasn’t Revan, I don’t know if I would have been able to do any of that. And I hate that — I don’t even know what my own capabilities are! If anything I can do is because of me or because of Revan! Or if there even isa me! “How are you feeling about all that?” Dustil asks.

I can feel my voice trying to choke. But I swallow it down. “I’m, uh...” I star to say, “I’m coping.”

Dustil looks confused. “H- what do you mean, you’re coping?” He asks gently. I think he knows he’’s treading on thin ice, but he’s trying to learn more about me. I mean, I guess we’re family now, right?

“It’s, uh,” and I can’t swallow the tears in my voice, “... it’s hard to talk about.”

We’re both silent for a moment. Then, “Okay,” he says, “Don’t talk about it. Show me.”

“Show you?” I repeat, “What do you mean? How?”

“The Force,” he says, “It was something Master Uthar talked about, using the Force to pull your enemy’s weakness from their mind. But it can be done less... invasively, mutually, to share information, emotions. Like meditation.” He shifts again. “Come on, a Jedi as strong as you, it shouldn’t be too hard.”

It’s not that I’m worried it would be difficult. I mean, I get the feeling it was something Revan did a lot. Not from memories, per say, it’s just his sense I have about people, their minds, their thoughts, their feelings. I’ve had that since before I remembered being Revan, so it must have been something she had, too. It’s probably how she was able to convince so many people to betray the Republic after the Mandalorian Wars, how she was able to convince Jedi to join her even before the Mandalorian Wars. And how I’ve been able to persuade people over the course of the journey for the Star Forge. Just a sense about people. an uncanny sense. It’s not difficultly I’m worried about. I don’t want to alienate the son that Carth wanted so badly to be back in his life by telling him that I was more or less responsible for his mother’s death, his father leaving him, at least by proxy. That I was responsible for the Sith he joined, and I was responsible for why he joined them.

But i also don’t want things to be uncomfortable for either of us. I need to confront who I am. Who I was. It’s probably the only way I’ll be able to become what I can be. And there’s a part of me - not Revan, me - that’s telling me that I can trust Dustil. We’ve both been through some shit. And if his father can accept me, so can he. “I take a deep breath and get into my meditation position. “Okay.” I close my eyes, and Dustil closes his. I can feel his mind open, ready to receive whatever I give. And I open my mind. “Let’s start at the beginning,” I send, “This may take a while.” And I start with the Endar Spire. Because he doesn’t just need to know who I am. He needs to know why everything I’ve done is affecting me. That I hesitate around every corner because something might be there that makes Revan come back. Especially on days like today, when I can feel her more than ever. And Dustil listens, receives, patiently, not asking any questions of me. Not yet.

And when we get to the resurfacing memory of the mask, the turn, the destruction of Telos, I can feel anger rising inside him, and I’m afraid he’s going to shut me out, but suddenly the memory softens. It turns blue and becomes silent. And all I can hear is Dustil’s voice across the chasm of our minds — “I forgive you.”

And I almost cry. That feels good. To be forgiven.

It must be a couple hours before everything is over. Because when I open my eyes, I see Carth’s hand resting on mine. Looking very concerned. “Hey,” he says softly, “You were pretty deep in there. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, wiping my eyes, “I’m fine. Dustil had asked about...” I let it drop away before continuing, “... and I showed him.” Dustil opens his eyes now, too. And he’s quiet. He just sort of nods at me.

“Dustil?” Carth asks, looking at his son, “Are you okay?”

Dustil nods. “Yeah,” he says softly, “We’re okay.”

Carth looks a little confused, but Dustil gives me a little smile and I smile back. We’re okay. And Carth lets it drop for now.

He insists on trying to cook. (The synthesizer has been busted for a little bit, and I keep trying to fix it, but I need a special part before I can completely fix it. So Carth and I flip flop on cooking. I’m okay at it - I have memories of cooking as a scout that real or not provide enough experience to know what I’m doing - but Carth is god awful. Thankfully I managed to outfit T3 with a carbonate projector so he doubles as a fire-suppressant droid. Not making that mistake again. It’s technically my turn, but Carth insisted on doing it today, because it’s a bad day for me. He’s so sweet, my soft bunny man.) T3 spends a lot of time beeping anxiously as Carth tries to figure out what he’s doing. I take a moment to reconnect with Dustil through the Force, and he lets me in. “Has he always been like this?” I ask.

“Like what?”

“Well-meaning, but useless.”

Dustil gives a little chuckle. “This isn’t even the worst of it. You should have seen the time he tried to help Mother with the laundry.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What turned pink?”

“His uniform.”

I can’t — I cannot rein in a laugh at that. Probably too loud.

“What?” Carth asks from the other room, “What are you laughing at?”

“Oh,” I start to say, and I trade a glance with Dustil, “nothing important.”

#specs writes stuff #Star Wars knights of the old republic #knights of the old republic #kotor #Revanasi #Carth onasi #Rena visz #oc #fem!revan #dustil onasi #death mention tw #dissociation tw #no leaf no