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soundcrusher · 1 year

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Meanwhile, in another Universe 4

I did it. I, FINALLY, managed to finish this wip! You guys don't know how long this has been sitting in my drafts. T.T

Either way, I hope everyone of you will like Part 4 of this little story set in the Sentient Lost Light Au from @cuppajj. (Should something be off, let me know cuppa. I'll fix it as soon as I can.)

Trigger Warning: mention of abuse

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One week.

Phoenix hasn’t left his hab-suite for a week and Lightlost was starting to worry about the young spark.

And they weren’t the only one.

Rodimus, Whirl, Tailgate and even Ultra Magnus were starting to wonder why Phoenix wasn’t leaving his room. So much so that there was always at least one of them to check up on the youngspark, but they never got an answer when they knocked on his hab-suite door.

However, that wasn’t the most worrisome thing coming out of that sudden change in personality. No, Phoenix was known to sometimes take one or two days where he stayed away from the rest of the Lost Light. “It’s too much… The crew, the noise, not having to fear a… nevermind” At least, that’s what the young flier told Ultra Magnus, and Ultra Magnus told the rest of the crew.

Not that Lightlost needed to know that. They were the first Phoenix to know, but they had to promise not to tell anyone from the crew, until he himself told someone. And despite it taking a while, it still filled the cartographer’s spark with pride to know that their youngest crew member felt comfortable enough to reach out to the rest and reveal some things about himself.

And yet it appeared that Phoenix’s hard earned openness has slowly disappeared again. If Lightlost had to make a guess, they would think that it was because of what happened last week. Alone the memory of holding the youngling in their arms and being forced to look down at Phoenix, while he looked up at them with those optics that were there and yet so far away while he begged for whoever he saw to leave him alone, it reminded Lightlost too much of the time when they were cradling Phoenix’s small and broken body after Overlord got to him.

There were many things the titan in disguise had witnessed, but even they couldn’t get used to certain things. Or maybe it’s because of the resemblance Phoenix shares with their beloved captain. They might not be alike in most aspects, but there are still some things the two share. No matter how much Phoenix protests on how he’s nothing like Rodimus. So, sometimes, when they’re reminded of the day the youngspark nearly died, they couldn’t help but imagen Rodimus in his stead. Missing limbs and broken beyond saving as he…

No, they couldn’t think like that. Not when everything was okay now. or, at least as okay as it can get with their crew.

With that in mind, Lightlost looked down at the cube of energon to make sure they haven’t spilled anything, before knocking on Phoenix’s hab-suite door. And after making sure there weren’t any traps set up, they entered without waiting for an answer. Something they wouldn’t usually do, but considering how Phoenix hasn’t refueled much since last week, they had a good enough reason to do so.

Although, after entering the hab-suite and hearing the door close behind them, their calm expression turned into one of concern as they saw the broken furniture and general mess Phoenix has made of his room.

Of course, they knew that something was going on in the hab-suite, but they didn’t check in out of respect for Phoenix’s privacy. Also, the youngspark needed time for himself, and considering how he sometimes told them how he could “feel optics on him when there weren’t any”, they decided it was best to leave him be for the moment. But now, they were second guessing their decision. Especially after looking towards the berth and the something hidden in a nest of blankets and pillows.

“Phoenix?” They asked softly and watched the nest rustle, before a small opening appeared from which one single blue optic looked outside. Looking around the room to see who else was there, and when finding no-one but Lightlost, the nest started to rustle even more, until Phoenix sat up. Still surrounded by a wall of blankets and pillows, but at least Lightlost was able to see the youngspark’s face. Which caused some relief to wash over them as they slowly moved closer to the younger mech. Holding out the cube of energon as soon as they were close enough and waiting for Phoenix to take it on his own. “It’s okay if you don’t want it. I’ll just leave it on the… table…” The table was broken.

“Is… okay…” Muttered Phoenix quietly as he held out his servos in a grabby motion, waiting for Lightlost to give him the cube, and as soon as he got it, the young spark didn’t wait another second as he wolfed it down. Nearly choking himself on the energon, but that didn’t stop him from making sure that nothing was left in the cube. Although, the second he was done, Phoenix was quick to hand the cube back, before hiding underneath his blankets again. Muttering a small “Thanks” towards Lightlost, while making sure that there was a space for Lightlost to sit in.

And Lightlost sat down on the offered spot. Cautious to not disturb Phoenix’s nest all too much. “Sweetspark… you know why I’m here, right?” The question was met with silence from the youngling, so they decided to continue talking in hopes that Phoenix would answer. “It wasn’t just because you were already overdue for a refuel, everyone of us is worried about you. Usually you wouldn’t stay longer than two days in your room… Is it about what happened last week?”

“It’s not just last week…” Came the weak whisper from Phoenix, as he shifted around underneath his blankets to look at Lightlost. And now that they could see his face fully, the cartographer was able to see the fresh tear stains on the youngling’s face. “I… thought that… that I left them behind… The bad memories, but they still follow me. And then I… I called you papa and… and…” Phoenix let out a choked sob as he pressed his servos tightly against his mouth and kept them there until his body stopped shaking from his quiet sobbing. Only then did he continue. “I… am sorry for calling you papa. I know that… that you don’t see yourself as a… a… But I can’t call you mama. I CAN’T. I just…can’t… Please, don’t make me call you mama!”

Phoenix was becoming frantic, Lightlost could see it even when the young spark was trying his best to look normal. So, they stood up and did the only thing they could think to calm their youngling down. With the utmost carefulness, they grabbed Phoenix and used their natural strength as a titan to pull him out of his blanket and pillow nest, before cradling him to their chest. And after they sat down, with the youngling in their lab, Lightlost let Phoenix latch onto them. They didn’t even say anything as they could feel the youngspark’s unsheathed claws dig into their plating. No, they only cradled the crying youngling while humming a soft tune. Waiting for him to continue what he was saying, or to stop if he wasn’t ready to do so.

But it seemed that, after calming down, Phoenix was ready to continue. Despite not feeling comfortable enough to look Lightlost in the optics. Instead, the young flier kept his optics offline, as he told his parental figure exactly why he could never call them ‘Mama’.

“It’s not… not that I want to be disrespectful, or anything. It’s just… the association with the word, with that specific word, is just… It hurts. It makes me think of my mama, and my mama isn’t the best. I love her, I really do, but I know that she isn’t good… Not after what she did…” With each word, Phoenix grew more and more quiet, until it was only a hard to understand whisper. But Lightlost could still understand the context. Whatever Phoenix’s mother did to him, it damaged a part of their youngling that still needed healing.

“You don’t have to tell me about her, Phoenix. If you’re not ready, then don’t push yourself to tell me something that still hurts you.” Said the cartographer softly. “I know that some things are better left unsaid, until you find the courage to face whatever it is.”

“But I can’t… I have to tell someone…” Was all the kid could say, before he lifted his head to look at Lightlost. Optics mirroring the sadness and tiredness Phoenix felt for running from those memories for all those years. “It’s making me tired…. and I don’t think that I can run from it anymore… Not when I get confronted by her memory, whenever someone asks…” Phoenix sighed as he tried to find his courage. Pushing down the shame and fear his mother imbued within him, before closing his optics. It was easier to tell his tale, without having to look into Lightlost’s optics after all.

“My mama… she’s scary, really scary. Sometimes she was nice, I really loved my nice mama, but more often than not, she was scary. Yelling and throwing things, before stomping through our home in search of…” Phoenix shook his head softly, before pressing himself closer to Lightlost. Searching for comfort in their embrace, as he thought about his next words. “Of me. When she was scary, she was angry. And when she was angry, she needed someone or something to make her less angry… Usually, when I was fast enough, I could hide. Then she broke something. When I wasn’t, she would pull me out of my hiding spot and… and…” He choked on sob. “Do you… Do you know how it feels to get punched? To feel something break?”

“Phoenix… I…”

“It doesn’t feel nice. Not when you’re small. And not when your mama is a tank. Even when she pulls back on her strength, it still hurts. It hurts… and… and you can’t do anything against her, because you’re small and you want to help your mama. You want her to go back to being a nice mama, so… so… you just take it.”

“And she becomes nice for a while, until she gets angry again…” Phoenix let out a shaky laugh as he let go of Lightlost’s frame to wipe at his optics. “And then it just repeats. Like a circle. The same game, over and over, without any stop. And you… you don’t stop it, because how can you? You’re small, and… and… I love my mama. Until you, she was the only parent I had. Fools Shot is no parent, even if he feels like family. And even if she was a bad mama, I still love her. I love my mama, but I’m also scared of her.” It was hard to laugh while crying. Phoenix would have never expected that, and yet, he couldn’t stop. His laughter, broken and trembling from his tears and wails, still rang through true. Spilling out the pain he has been trying to hide underneath the guise of a trouble seeking kid.

“It’s… I’m stupid, aren’t I? Just a stupid sparkling who knows nothing, because I still love my mama despite her love for me being wrong.” One last laugh left the kid, before he covered his mouth again. Trying his hardest to muffle his cries as he waited for an answer from Lightlost.

But how was the cartographer supposed to answer? They were stunned, caught like a deer in the headlights, as they repeated Phoenix’s story in their mind. Clutching the young spark tightly to their body to show him that they were still there for him, as they tried to sort through their emotions.

There was no anger, Lightlost hardly got angry, but they could still get upset. And hearing about how Phoenix’s carrier treated him, abused him, just because she seemingly wanted to, it disturbed them. How could anyone treat their sparkling like that? Weren’t creators supposed to care for their creations? Alone the thought of someone causing a youngspark pain without any other reason than they want to, it pained their spark to imagen how those young ones must feel. And then, there was their very own youngspark.

Hearing Phoenix's story, his tears, his pained laughter, it caused Lightlost’s spark to squeeze painfully in their metaphorical chest. Just what exactly was he forced to go through by his mother? What did she do? How much did she hurt their youngspark?

But that wasn’t important now. No. Lightlost had to push their emotions back for a moment, because Phoenix needed them now. So, they took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, before releasing it again. Putting on their most comforting smile, as they softly rubbed soothing circles into the space between Phoenix’s wings. Watching their youngling, as the tension slowly left his body.

“You aren’t stupid Phoenix. You’re very clever, and kind, and a good kid. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.” Lightlost spoke calm and quietly, before their tone took on a very light sharp edge. “Not even from your mama. She’s wrong. She’s oh so very wrong about you, and what she’s done is terrible. No-one should be treated like that. Especially mechs as young as you or younger.”

“B-but…”

Lightlost shook his head, before hushing the youngling with a finger to his lips while a soft smile formed on theirs. “No ‘but’ Phoenix. She is wrong. You might not see it, and that’s understandable. It must have been hard to live with her and then with your old crew. But please believe me, she is oh so very wrong about you. And what she’s done… No caring creator would willingly raise their servo against their creation…” Phoenix didn’t look convinced, and they couldn’t blame him, but still, Lightlost hoped that their words somehow reached the youngspark.

“You…” Phoenix started, as he looked up at Lostlight with big and confused optics that somehow held a twinkle of innocence in them. “You… Are you sure? My mama has been right about most things…”

“But she’s just like every other mech and femme. And like everyone else, she can be wrong, sweetspark.”

“I… I guess you’re right, Light…” Hearing that caused Lightlost to let out a relieved sigh that might or might not have swept through the whole ship. This was good, because realization that something is wrong, is often the first step towards healing. And for their youngspark’s sake, they hope that this was Phoenix’s first step towards moving past his mother’s shadow.

“Now, how about we fix your room as best as we can, before looking for our captain. He, and some others are quite worried about you.”

“As if. Rodimus and you are the only ones worried about me.” Chuckled Phoenix. Although, the second he noticed Lightlost’s knowing smile, he let out a small squeak. “Th-there are more!?”

“Yes, and Ultra Magnus is one of them.” It might have been wrong to laugh at Phoenix’s shocked expression, but they couldn’t really help themself. After the seriousness of their talk, it was somewhat refreshing to see their youngling go from scared and sad, to simply silly. Maybe Lightlost should be worried about the way Phoenix sometimes was quick to change moods, but that was for another day.

Now, it was time to clean the room. And as both of them got up and started to salvage what could be safed, Lightlost didn’t fail to hear the softly whispered “Thanks Papa” coming from Phoenix.

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Small Bonus:

Cleaning the room did take a while, but once they were done, Lightlost took Phoenix’s servo in theirs and together, they walked out of the youngling’s room and towards Swerve’s Bar. Where Phoenix was currently in a deep conversation with Swerve about some earthen TV show, while Lightlost was observing them from a booth. Simply enjoying their time, until Rodimus decided to join them.

“Heya Lightlost, how is it going?” Asked the prime, while sipping on his drink.

“Oh, it’s going alright. I’m simply enjoying the joys of parenthood, as humans would say.” Answered the cartographer, to which Rodimus only nodded absently, before spitting out his drink.

“Wait, WHAT?! Since when are you a parent!?”

“Well, I have only been a parent for a week? I’m sorry captain, but I think I’m needed elsewhere. We can talk about this later.”

“Wait! What do you mean you have been a parent for a week!? Lightlost!?”

“LIGHLOST!”

#sentient lost light au by cuppajj #sentient lost light au #sentient lost light #lightlost #transformers #tranformers oc #reg/phoenix #reg/tankcrusher #tw abuse mention #let me know if I should add a trigger warning #I'm bad at figuring that stuff out

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dimorphodon-x · 10 months

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A doodle I've been wanting to do for a few months now

Featuring @cuppajj's Lost Light

#my art #transformers #transformers oc #tectonichus #oardivia #cuppajj #sentient lost light au #lost light

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onlineviolence · 2 years

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super very messy sketch . peaceful tyranny would be openly hostile if any conversation was ever initiated XD

( sent it ant lost light belongs to @cuppajj )

#transformers #lost light #peaceful tyranny #sentient lost light au #maccadam #not my oc #mtmte #cuppajj #woofs art

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ut-girl666 · 2 years

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Space is big… and it has-

Lost Light!

I gacha’d up a quick Lost Light, bc I had nothing better to do, and my brain was filled with brainrot of @cuppajj’s Sentient!Lost Light AU.

So here you are, a quick Gacha design of them!

And here’s a little guide-tell-thingy? Of their feats.

Design Includes:

The long spindly things on the LL’s ship mode, that kinda look like a mane, or fur??but like, on a chicken?? Idk. it’s those things.

A mic that links into the speaker system, which is kinda how they’d talk to the crew easier, or in a less unsettling/startling manner than just the voice echoing through the ship’s halls??

A pendant they wear to show that Rodimus is their beloved Captain!

Windows!! Bc LL has a lot of windows!! :D!

Their very own personal Rodimus Star, given to them/made by Captain Rodimus Prime himself!

The text/engraving reads: “For being an awesome fucking ship.”

(For the record, he simply engraved one to start, then took a few fake copies for testing’s sake, and when tested to work for sure, he had Brainstorm enlarge it, and then he worked with help from the crew to smack that baby onto a wall or something. They decided to wear it on the side of their ‘face’ to cover the mechanical workings of their mic thing, so they shifted it around when the crew was busy/asleep. They adore their Rodimus Star! :D!)

I will happily put up/provide the offline code for them if requested! Enjoy! :D!

Sentient!Lost Light AU belongs to @cuppajj, not me. Go see them, if you’re curious about the AU! It’s really, really awesome!

Fonts used are ‘Family Home’ and ‘Mechanical Pencil’ on DaFont. Editing app used is IbisPaintX. Gacha app used to make S!LL is Gacha Club by Lunime/Luni.

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phantom31516 · 11 months

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art fight attack on @cuppajj !!!! I absolutely adore this design for their Sentient Lost Light au, the Lost Light is so pretty!!! I adore them😭❤️

#transformers #fanart #art #art fight #digital art #my art #sentient lost light au #more than meets the eye #lost light #alternate universe #maccadam

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cyber-streak-2 · 10 months

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Rodimus: *Accidentally sets one of the rooms on fire*

Rodimus: We need an adult!

Drift, who’d been trying to help him with something: Roddy, we are adults.

Rodimus: We need... an adultier adult! Get... get Light Lost!

//Sentient LL AU belongs to @cuppajj

#transformers incorrect quotes #source: unknown #Rodimus #Drift #Light Lost (holoform)#Lost Light #Sentient LL AU #MTMTE #mtmte #ll

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iwasjoking · 11 months

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Okay, all of these are basically based off of the 'sentient lost light AU' from @cuppajj, which I was obsessing about, but when I thought about it, it didn't really have a name for what it was. And I don't think 'metro titan' or just 'titan' would suffice. So I went up and thought of a classification, or multiple classifications for different kind of titans, I mean, lets spread our horizons a bit.

Okay, first up, metro titans are titans that transform into massive cities, and act as settlements for bots to colonize new planets. Honestly the first thought of it was astonishing, but just, metro titans? That kinda seems.. bland.

At first I didn't think too much about them, because honestly, who would, until I came across the sentient LostLight AU. And everything fit together perfectly, though I was quite late to the party, I started going through as many posts about it as I could at the time. And then decided to create my own Titan OC.

Verloren, the bot above is a Titan that I created, I drew the ship part first so it would make sense, but he still kinda looked like Lostlight, that was a big accident ^^'

There is another (unfinished) OC up there thats much bigger, and more blue but I'll talk about them later.

Anyways, just titan didn't suffice my brain, since you have metro titans, and then just.. titans? So, I decided to create my own classification, leading tooooooo,

Star Faring titans! (Workshopping the name still, and the emblem, kinda looks dumb) But I like it so far, and what it means is that it's a titan that transforms into a ship, not a city. A ship thats supposed to travel the stars, at first I was thinking 'Quantum titan', but not all have to have Quantum engines. Though I haven't made out all the details, I quite like what I have so far.

But why stop there? with only two. Then comes up another idea, in another comic I read, there were titans that were orbiting around the planet, doing sorts of jobs, so I started onto making the 'satellite titans'. These titans are titans that orbit around the planet, and do certain jobs. Heck some of them could be a moon orbiting around another planet.

I separated them into 3 groups, (so far), base satellite titans, Lunar satellite titans, and Job satellite titans. (Still workshopping the names)

The names should probably explain themselves but even so:

Lunar satellite titans are titans that are mainly for defense of the planet, as moons, though they can transform, they can sometimes shoot beams from their surface, most of the time they orbit around colonized planets.

Job satellite titans do things like mining from the surface, or act as a radio beam, and are typically the smallest, I've seen them sorta in comics, though not mentioned under any sort of specialized name.

And base satellite titans, basically ones that travel around the stars, before settling into an orbit, becoming a sort of stop station, for ships. They often have a crew operating them, or become fully functional cities in the sky. But I would not call them a metro titan, because they stay in space, as a sort of 'stop station'

I might make more stories or pictures about them later, but honestly, I love this idea and I hope some people would try to expand on it ^^

Stormy signing off

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cuppajj · 2 years

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Hello, Cuppajj!! I just found your Sentient Lost Light AU stuff, and I have some curiosity to certain things about them, since Lost Light holds most the crew dear, it seems.

1.) Does Lost Light hold any negative feeling for anyone besides Getaway? (Like the from the mutiny, or just in general.)

2.) How would LL feel about being graffitied by the crew? And especially if was less than flattering. (Like a really big bright colorful dick-)

3.) Does LL ever become possessive or a little overprotective of any of the crew in particular? (One of them ends up feeling hurt or distressed, and they start shutting the source off, away from them. Trying to play ‘shield’, and protect them.)

4.) If any of the crew were to end up with a little one, how would LL feel? Curious and excited? Or a bit replaced, and suddenly ignored, by him?

Sorry if this was odd, annoying or uncomfortable- I just am so curious how LL would interact/react to such with his beloved crew and captain, especially with sentient LL brainrot now. Hope you have a good day/night, Cup! ^w^

Heyooo heoooo thanks for the questions! I'd be happy to answer all of them for you ^v^

So first things first, the LL is neutral good, so they try to have minimal bias. They look out for their crew, but because they primarily see themself as a vessel for them and little more, they leave all the decision making (even the steering) to them. They also know every one of them has flaws, but cares about them despite it. With that in mind:

1.) LL doesn’t dislike anyone in general; they’re still fond of the rowdier and meaner, though as Lightlost they might not spend time with them. If anything, the only crew member LL grows to dislike is Getaway himself; though it’s not until after he starts committing his atrocities during the mutineers arc, such as letting Sunder cannibalize their own crew and keeping a select few in memory loops. In this case they would’ve subtly attempted to help First Aid and the protectobots escape, but Getaway, aware of the LL’s sentience since the initial mutiny, would’ve forced them into hibernation so they could no longer interfere. They wouldn’t wake up until after Rodimus and the rest of the crew are back on board, and they’re brought back online.

2.) Humored, honestly! Even if the image isn’t savory for most, they know someone will be amused by it, or be appalled (*cough* Magnus *cough*) in a way LL gets a kick out of. They know the graffiti can be washed off or painted over, and it’s not like the current crew are the first to do it to them.

3.) Technically no; they’re certainly not as possessive and overprotective (and involved) as their shattered glass counterpart. They’re healthily protective of everyone on board, though I guess you could say they watch over Rodimus more than most. For example, they may convince him to go rest, only for him to wake up to a glass of warm energon on his nightstand in the morning hours. LL is aware of his struggles long before most of the others, and as the captain, they want him to be as confident and healthy as he can be while in charge! Their same concern extends to Megatron when he becomes co-captain, but they know that he’s more, well, mature. However, as time goes on, they may start playing shield for a few small things, though I don't know what specifically they'd be, but it would be subtlle enough for the crew (or at least all but the ones who know LL is alive) to not notice.

4.) LL would be elated! They've rarely if not ever seen a sparkling before. They wouldn't feel ignored at all, and they'd actually hope that all the attention could be on the little one like they deserve! Oh they'd be so curious and excited, knowing that the little one will grow up, learn lessons, mature... and LL would be sure to help, through Lightlost, in any way they can while the new spark is aboard.

The Lost Light is very selfless, putting others before themself, and nothing makes them happier than serving as a home for hundreds of lives. Even though they believe in being unbiased and neutral toward everyone, they can't help but value their closeness with the little cybertronians that inhabit them.

#sentient lost light au #lost light #cjj arts #cjj askbox #maccadam #transformers #mtmte

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poptimus-prime · 2 years

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I was considering making a sentient Nemesis because of @cuppajj's sentient Lost Light AU, and then I remembered a conversation I had where someone explained that the Nemesis ACTUALLY IS SOME GUY, and now I need to lay down.

#daphnis.docx

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soundcrusher · 1 year

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Meanwhile, in Another Universe 3

I know that I've got some other works in the making, but I had to get this one out. Even if it nearly got me to shed some tears.

Either way, I hope everyone of you will like Part 3 of this little story set in the Sentient Lost Light's Au from @cuppajj

Trigger warning: Panick attack, negative thoughts,

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It was a normal day on the Lost Light, which was surprising in its own right, considering all the things that have been going on ever since Rodimus and his crew went on this adventure.

Not that he would change anything about their adventures, no, well, maybe he would change a few things. Mostly the deaths of everyone who didn’t deserve them, but then again, what if fate would have found a different way to take them. You couldn’t escape death, it came for everyone. Sometimes, it was just slower in claiming a life, sometimes it acted faster than you would have ever expected. And then there were the times it spares someone. Someone who didn’t deserve dying after all.

But even those spared would die sooner or later. A lesson Rodimus had to learn the hard way, same as a certain youngling that has been shutting himself off, after accidentally telling him that he’s seen worse than a headless body. And it made the prime wonder just what exactly the youngling had seen with his old crew. The war was over after all, and while there were still those who couldn’t accept it, someone brought to life after their war shouldn’t know something worse than a headless body.

So, Rodimus stood outside Phoenix's room. Fist raised for a soft knock against the door to let the youngling know he had a visitor. Only Primus, and Lightlost, knows what happened last time he barged into the room without letting Phoenix know it was him and not someone else. A shudder wracked over his frame as he remembered the bright neon pink paint and golden glitter that suddenly covered his frame and took weeks to get off. At least he had a good enough excuse not to do his work and stay in his hab-suite.

Although, after a while of waiting, Rodimus took the risk and stepped into the room without waiting for Phoenix to let him in. And as he looked around to see what the youngling was up to that kept him from answering the hab-suit door, he found him with his back to the door. Sitting by the desk across from the berth. Engrossed in one of his wood carving works while singing softly to himself.

And with Rodimus not wanting to disturb the youngling’s serene moment, the prime quietly crept closer and sat down on the berth. Watching Phoenix as he delicately turned the wood they got from an organic planet into a small wooden version of the Lost Light. It was fascinating, considering Phoenix hardly spoke about the things he liked to do, let alone his hobbies. It’s always like the youngling is too scared to reveal something about him. As if he’s scared someone would take away the joys he had, and Rodimus found himself frowning at that. What kind of aft would make a youngling scared of expressing himself? Apparently one named Runningway.

Rodimus might have scoffed too loud at that though, or made a different kind of sound that caused the peaceful atmosphere to shatter and Phoenix to jump out of his chair. Brandishing his wood carving knife, ready to strike at anyone daring to come close, as a deep and furious scowl settled on his face. “The fuck you’re doing here!? How often do I have to tell you shits to stay out of my room! It’s mine! Mine!”

“Easy! It’s just me Phoenix! Just good ol’ Rodimus.” Yelled the prime in return, as he quickly raised his servos to make himself look less like a threat, and make sure he would be able to protect his face, should Phoenix decide to throw his knife. And knowing the youngling, he would have probably done that, if he hadn’t realized no-one else but Rodimus was in his room. That realization didn’t make the scowl go away though.

“And what exactly are you doing here? I thought I made it clear that I wanted to be alone.” Muttered the youngling, as he put the knife down on his desk, before crossing his arms over his chest. Fixing Rodimus with a glare that could have been considered murderous, if it wasn’t for the pout. Sometimes, Phoenix was more of a kid than the youngling wanted to admit.

“I just wanted to check up on you, especially after your small outburst at Swerves.” Started the prime while observing Phoenix tensing up even further. “It’s okay. No-one’s mad at you, we all got our bad days. Honestly, sometimes I don’t feel like getting out of my berth either, but you gotta admit, yelling at Swerve crossed the line a little bit.”

“Crossed the line? CROSSED THE LINE?!” Rodimus messed up, if Phoenix’s offended screech was any indicator. “HE crossed the fucking line! How often did I tell any of you that my past crew is off topic? Same goes for my creators!” Yelled the youngling, as he chapped a digit at Rodimus, while fixing the prime with a look that only spelled fury. And, maybe, an underlying pain the youngling isn’t ready to talk about yet. “And I gave him enough opportunities to stop talking. But he didn’t! He just kept asking, and asking, and asking! Do you know how it feels to constantly be reminded that my old crew didn’t want me?! That they abandoned me, just because I looked like the fucking prime they all hated?!”

At this point, Phoenix was trying his best to hold back his tears. He didn’t want to cry in front of Rodimus, especially when it involved his old crew or his creators. None of them deserved his tears. Well, maybe Fools Shot deserved them, but only because that old mech was the only one who treated him like an equal and not like a thing you can easily get rid of, once you no-longer need it. And yet, the youngling found himself rubbing furiously over his optics in hopes to get rid of his tears. But all he did was smear his face paint and nothing more.

“Why does no-one of you get it?! Why do you always insist on getting to know stuff?! I don’t want to tell you! I don’t want to! It’s my business. Mine! MINE! None of you deserve to know! None of you! NONE OF YOU! You will only pity me! And I don’t want your pity! I don’t want it!” Shrieked Phoenix, before his voice broke down into sobs. No. He didn’t want anyone to know. They shouldn’t know. His mama told him that no-one would want him if they knew. That they would only pity him, and nothing more. That they would just throw him away, if they knew how he felt deep down. And his mama has always been right with things like that. Even if she broke his dreams, even if she handed him over to Second Fiddle, and even if she wasn’t the best mama, she has always been right about things like this.

“Phoenix…” And as Rodimus slowly got up, as to not startle the youngling, Phoenix found himself frozen. He wanted to run. Bolt out of the room and to somewhere safer. Somewhere none of them could find him, and just cry. Maybe the vents would be an option, but they weren’t safe. Someone could find him in there and drag him out. And then they would ask him questions. They would demand answers, maybe even force him to spill everything, and the thought alone of having to share what he didn’t want others to know caused Phoenix’s frame to rattle and shake in fear, while his body slowly cramped up.

And as his thoughts kept spiraling out of control, the youngling completely missed Rodimus moving closer, until he felt the prime’s servos on his shoulder and stared into his worried optics. “Phoenix, it’s okay.” But it wasn’t okay. It was never okay. Rodimus might not see it, might not understand it, but nothing was ever okay when it came to this. And despite the primes encouraging words, Phoenix kept on spiraling deeper into this dark abyss of doubt and fear. Until he could no longer feel Rodimus’s warm and comforting servos, but rather the big, tense and cold ones of his mama. And if he strained his audials hard enough, he could hear her talking down to him. Telling him how stupid he was for growing attached to Autobots, especially after it was them who tricked his papa and took him away. And how naive he was for thinking that he could escape her.

“I told you, sooner or later you’ll be back with me.” She whispered, as she leaned closer to his face. “I might have given you to them, but you’re my son. You will always be my son.” And then, she disappeared, only to be replaced by Runningway, who continued the tirade. Mocking him for growing comfortable among enemies, before telling him how no-one ever liked him. “And I doubt your new crew likes you either. Especially the prime and that Lightlost fella.”

And after Runnningway, it was Old Man and Second Fiddle who kept on telling him the same things as Runningway. Reminding him about how useless he was, how no-one could ever like someone as him, and as they went, they were only replaced by others of his old crew. Others, who didn’t stop. No. They just kept on going, revealing every self-doubt and negative thought Phoenix had buried deep down in his subconsciousness. Beating him with their words, just like they did when he was still with them.

It was merciless, and none of them stopped as Phoenix’s legs gave out under him. With the only thing holding him up being the strong but gentle arms of someone his spiraling mind couldn’t put a face to. Everything, except the voices and faces of his mama and past crew were muddled. Blending together in his mind and turning into static, as he desperately tried to find an escape from the onslaught. But every time Phoenix managed to find a way out, a small gap in the crowd around him, his mama came and pulled him back. Reminding him that there was no escape for him.

She would always pull him back.

Until, she didn’t, and a new voice joined the onslaught. An older and kinder one.

One, Phoenix knew all too well. And as he saw his old captain push through the crowd and past his mama, the youngling noticed that the others were slowly disappearing. At first, it was Runningway, then Second Fiddle, then Old Man, and then the rest, until all that remained were Fools Shot and his mama.

However, his mama soon enough started to disappear too, as the old mech took a hold of his head and softly turned his face away from his mama. Making him look straight at him, as he told him how everything was okay.

“Remember what I told you Phoenix. Those who make you feel worthless, only do so to make themselves feel better.” And with these words spoken, Fools Shot started to disappear too, and Phoenix felt his mind start to clear, as he slowly rose from the dark abyss of his mind and back into the now.

There were still tears running down his cheeks, and trembles wrecking his body, those were the first things he could feel, but he could slowly make out other things too. Like the soft whispers of Rodimus and another mech, the small shape of a minibot, Phoenix thought it was a minibot, standing outside his room, and someone holding him. Someone, the youngling, knew all too well. And for a moment, Phoenix allowed his mind to think of nothing, as he stared up at the cartographer who looked down at him with those sad and concerned optics. Funny, from down here, Phoenix could have sworn that Lightlost looked older than they are. Maybe even older than Fools Shot.

After a while of just collecting his thoughts and calming down, Phoenix let out a soft sigh. “I… did it again, didn’t I?” Muttered Phoenix as he looked up at Lightlost with a small, nervous smile, but that soon enough turned into a slight, fearful frown as he started to say more. “I w-worried you again. Didn’t I? I’m… I’m sorry Light. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to worry anyone! I didn’t!” But before the youngling could slip back down into the dark abyss, Lightlost softly soothed the fearful spark with a soft smile and a shake of their head.

“Sweetspark, don’t talk like that.” They said, as they helped Phoenix into a more upright sitting position, while still keeping the youngling safely in their arms. “Yes, we were worried. Especially the captain, but you shouldn’t stress yourself over how we feel. Right now, your wellbeing is far more important than what we’re feeling.”

“Still… I worried you, and I blew up in Rodimus’ face without any reason. I just… he said… It just came out. I didn’t mean for it to come out!” The tears that had tried returned, as Phoenix desperately tried to explain why this happened, and how sorry he was for worrying everyone. He didn’t mean to yell at Rodimus after all, and he didn’t mean to yell at Swerve either. That’s why he shut himself off in his room. “I… I can calm down b-better… better if I’m… I’m distracting myself…” Muttered the youngling, while staring down at his trembling servos. “It helps… Yea… it helps… makes it easier… always did. Mama hated watching me do stuff, but… but it made me feel better. A lot better…”

Some would say that this might have been a ‘good opportunity’ to ask Phoenix about why he yelled at Swerve and Rodimus, as soon as they brought up his creators and old crew, but Lightlost knew better. So did everyone present in and near the room. They knew that the youngling was in a fragile state of mind, and none of them wanted to trigger another panic. So, Lightlost gave Phoenix a friendly nudge and said with a smile on their lips, “What did you do then?” as a distraction. And Phoenix's whole face lit up, despite the tears and pain still present in the youngling’s optics.

“A good thing!” Declared the youngspark, as he scrambled out of Lightlost’s embrace and back on his feet, before quickly getting to his desk. Picking up his small wood carving project and presenting it to the cartographer as if it was the most precious treasure known to their kind. And to Phoenix, it was. Especially as he sat down next to Lightlost again and placed it into their servos. “Here, it’s a small Lost Light. It’s not all that good… I’m still learning to do this and ships are still a little bit hard, but I made it myself…”

“It looks wonderful.” Lightlost said, as they carefully moved the tiny wooden version of themself in their servos. Looking at it from all angles while praising Phoenix for his craftsmanship. “To think you made this all by yourself. It must have been hard.”

“Ah… it kinda was…. There were some attempts that didn’t turn out well… They all turned out wonky, or wrong, and I didn’t want that.” Phoenix chuckled, as he pulled his knees tightly to his body and hugged them. Smiling up at Lightlost, as he explained how many attempts he made, and how most of them ended up either in the scrap pile or as something else completely. However, as the cartographer asked the youngling about why he would want to carve a Lost Light, Phoenix turned nervous again. Glancing from Lightlost to Rodimus and the other mech he now recognized as Rung, and last to the small, green mech outside his room.

But before Phoenix could say that he didn’t feel comfortable with saying why when so many were around, Rodimus beat him to it. “Well, I guess you can take it from here Lightlost. Me and Rung still have some things to discuss.” Said the prime, as he nudged/shoved the psychologist out of the room, while the green minibot corrected the captain's wrong use of grammar. And only when Phoenix was sure that no-one else was with them, and the door was closed, did the youngling let out a long sigh as his body slowly started to lose the tenseness that had settled across his shoulder plating and back. “I… well… You see…” He started nervously. “It’s… well… ehm… it’s for you… I wanted to give you a gift, you know? Because you’re always… You’re always taking care of me and… and… and you make me feel safe. I… I hardly feel like that… And… the Lost Light might be the only place I… I can call my home… So… yea…”

There was a silence between them after Phoenix finished. And as the youngling looked up at Lightlost in worry, all he saw was a soft smile on their lips, before they carefully placed the tiny wooden Lost Light down and wrapped their arms around Phoenix. Cradling the youngling close to them, as Phoenix wrapped his arms around them in return.

“Thank you for the gift, Sweetsspark. It’s wonderful.”

“Glad you like it, papa.”

—

“Did you just call me the human version of sire?” Asked Lightlost with a small smirk, while Phoenix blushed in embarrassment.

“I DID NOT!”

#sentient sg/lost light #sentient lost light au #cuppajj #reg!phoenix #lightlost #sentient lost light au by cuppajj #god; writing this really made me feel some things #especially as phoenix started spiraling #tw panic attack #either way; yea; reg!tankcrusher isn't a good mom #neither is reg!old man a good mech #at least reg!fools shot is a good guy #oh well; with the way the rest of my week went; I'll go lay down in a puddle of my own emotions now #see you all later

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soundcrusher · 1 year

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Little morning ramble incomming!

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So, I have mentioned it a little bit before, but Reg!Phoenix is an escape artist. Kinda.

He's able to get out of most traps, due to Second Fiddle having used him as life bait whenever they went out to hunt some Autobots. Adding to that, his past crew would oftentimes forget that Phoenix was still inside their newest trap, and with no-one else there to help him out, the kid had to learn to do it himself. He even came up with short names for the traps in order to recognize them. Mostly because it made things easier for him.

And while it was fun for him to try and figure a way out, he soon enough learned to hate it. Especially after he was trapped in a T-10 trap and forced to play bait for a gunslinger, who showed him more compassion than anyone else, next to Fools Shot. (This is also where Reg!Phoenix got his gun from. The gunslinger knew that he was going to die as soon as the kid's crew came, so, he made sure that Phoenix had something to defent himself with. The gunslinger couldn't leave a kid behind with no means of defend, after listening to his story.)

This is also one of the reasons why he's so good at getting out of rooms and sneaking through vents, next to his crew purposely locking him up in his room and leaving him there for days. (Phoenix was quick to learn to use vents as a means to escape, and to get to Fools Shot.)

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Side note!

I was actually planning on mentioning this in my other story "Meanwhile, in a nother Universe" (which is set in @cuppajj's Sentient Lost Light au).

Like, I wanted a good ol' standoff between Reg!Phoenix's old and new crew, just for the sole purpose on having a contrast from where he started and where he's now. But the standoff would come after a small portion of the crew, plus Phoenix, got trapped. With the kid having a small panic attack, before helping the others figure out on how to get out of a mix between T-10 and T-26.

It would also have served as an exploration on Phoenix's past, because the kid still hasn't told most of his story.

Up until then, the Lost Lighters would have known that the kid had a shitty past crew, but they wouldn't have known to what extend. (He would have also slipped up and told them why exactly he hates the colour yellow.)

And after that's over and everyone makes it back safely, Phoenix would have a long talk with Rodimus about the things he hasn't told anyone except Lightlost, before expressing his guilt over having unwillingly helped in the capture of many Autobots.

I mean, he has seen some 'bots getting either wounded or killed whenever he was forced to play bait. The feeling of guilt for helping someone like Second Fiddle is something that haunts him in his dreams. (Next to the things Reg!Tankcrusher did, but THAT's another beast entirely.)

#soundcrusher rambles #transformers #transformers oc #reg!phoenix #sentient lost light au by cuppajj #I really should continue that one wip...#or generally continue reg!phoenix's story #there's so much I haven't explored yet... so much potential for hurt and comfort...#gah!

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soundcrusher · 1 year

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Ah, yes, the two nickel problem.

(click on the pictures for better quality.)

Thrice, if I count Second Fiddle, but I was only thinking about Sg/Sentient Lost Light and IDW Lord Imperious from @cuppajj when doodling this.

I'm definitely developing some brainrot for LID and Psychokahn, thanks to you cuppa...

Bonus:

Just a close-up of this.

#transformers #transformers oc #sentient sg/lost light au #sentient sg/lost light #sg/phoenix #idw lord imperious #quick search #cuppajj #it's even weirder that both meetings happened on a ship...

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soundcrusher · 9 months

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I MISSED PHOENIX'S BIRTHDAY!

My boy turned one year old on September the 5th! God, I feel so stupid for missing that!

Which also means that the first part of "A Bird's Tale", featuring @cuppajj's SG!Sentient Lost Light is also one year old.

I don't know how to feel about that, but it makes me so happy to know that this series is a year old. X3

#transformers #sg/phoenix #sg/lost light #sentient sg/lost light au #cuppajj #soundcrusher rambles

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soundcrusher · 2 years

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*carefully slides this on the table, before running*

Rodimus' design is from the sentient sg/Lost Light au from @cuppajj

Phoenix is my character

#cuppajj #sentient sg/lost light au #rodimus #phoenix #let's pretend phoenix's voice is back for a short moment

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soundcrusher · 1 year

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A story about a Hawk and a Phoenix

Heh, revisiting @cuppajj's Sentient Sg!Lost Light Au, only to write a crosssover thingy including @dimorphodon-x's Sg!Starhawk and my Sg!Phoenix.

You two don't know how much fun this was X3

(This is the first time I did more than simply include Sg!Starhawk in some silly doodles. So, should anything be off, please let me know. I'll change it as soon as I can. ^^)

Either way, enjoy!

Trigger warning: A not important character dies

The first time Phoenix realized there were more than just Rodimus and Lightlost on the ship, was when he walked down the halls alone. He was just sweeping the floor and cleaning up some of the stains, when he could see something or someone moving. At least, he thought he saw something, because the second he turned around, there was nothing but the emptiness of the hall. But despite the vacancy of the hall, Phoenix could have sworn that there was someone watching him.

Someone he couldn’t see, but he was sure that there was someone else. Even as Lightlost reassured him that there was no-one else on the ship. But Phoenix, despite trusting Lightlost, never felt reassured. Not when he could hear strange sounds waking him up from his recharge. Sounds, only a prowling monster could make as it circles their prey. Waiting for a moment to strike. But Phoenix never saw the monster, not fully. The darkness of the bridge and his own fears kept him from venturing out from underneath his blankets. Only once did he do it, after being woken up from probably the first good sleep he ever had since his crew came back, only to try and kill him.

But even then, he was too tired to fully make out the strange monster leaning over Rodimus. And when he finally realized that there was someone else with them, it was already far too late. The monster was gone and Phoenix couldn’t sleep well for the next few days. Always clinging to either Rodimus or Lightlost. Telling them that someone else was on board, but only Rodimus believed him. Lightlost only smiled, as they patted his head. Telling him that his imagination is playing tricks on him.

Rodimus, on the other hand, told him that the monster was a friend. That he wouldn’t do any harm, because he was way too soft to do such a thing. However, Phoenix wasn’t all too sure about it, because his brother’s words were met with a small sound from within the vents. Something that sounded more like a grunt of disagreement, rather than a reassuring confirmation.

It, again, left Phoenix scared. And his fear only grew with each passing day and peaked on the day when he finally grew angry and was taken away from Rodimus.

With the way the monster usually moved, it should have been with Rodimus in the bridge. It seemed to be there every time Phoenix noticed it. But it wasn’t. At least it sounded like the monster was scurrying inside the vents of his new room. And being alone, without either Rodimus or Lightlost, made the youngling fear the monster even more. Until Phoenix’s ball disappeared. He was stupid enough to not put it in his subspace before recharging, and then it was gone.

Or, at least, Phoenix thought it was gone, until he heard the same scurrying the monster made when moving inside the vents, and his ball fell out of the open vent. Phoenix was quick to take his ball and store it safely in his subspace. Not taking it out for the rest of his stay, because he didn’t want to lose it again.

But the small gesture had something positive. Phoenix lost a little bit of his fear and so, after Lightlost allowed him to return back to the bridge, the youngling gathered up his best cleaning rug and Rodimus’ polish. Putting it on the captain’s chair with a nervous smile. Telling his brother that this was for the monster, before going to sleep. And when Phoenix looked towards the captain’s chair the next dday, both items were gone. With Rodimus smiling knowingly towards the vent.

And then, there was the day of their escape.

If Phoenix was being honest, escape was something he never dared to imagen. He always thought that, with the way things were after his small outburst, he would be forever trapped on board the Lost Light. Forced to either watch Rodimus slowly deteriorate until there was nothing left, or spend the rest of his life trapped within a ship where there was no chance of escape.

But then the monster came and took Rodimus away. And Phoenix followed him and his brother, never once looking back. Because he knew if he did, he would have stayed behind.

Although, a part of him still missed Lightlost. It was hard to wake up and not have them close, or being able to talk to them, or hearing ther reassuring words every time he woke up from a nightmare. But at he still had Rodimus! That was something Phoenix was thankful for, because without his brother, he would truly be alone in a place he doesn’t know.

However, it was weird to see him with a fixed frame. Primus, Phoenix could still remember his first reaction when seeing Rodimus in all his glory. It was startling, to say the least, especially after waking up and not only being able to feel his wings again, but also having woken up in a place he didn’t recognize. At least Rodimus was forgiving after he hit him, unlike the strange white flier looming over them. He wasn’t all that happy with Phoenix hitting Rodimus, and only got scarier the longer he stared at the youngspark.

And Phoenix was still embarrassed to admit that he started crying from the white fliers glare.

Which Rodimus seemed to find funny, until he realized that the younger one wouldn’t stop crying. It took Rodimus almost an hour to calm him down, and then another two of talking soothingly to the frightened youngspark, until he fully calmed down. Only for him to then start crying again, after being introduced to the tall flier, or better said, to the monster. Phoenix didn’t know why, but Starhawk scared him. Maybe not as much as Lightlost when they locked him up in a room, but still. Something about Starhawk was scary to Phoenix, and the young flier couldn’t even point out what it was! It didn’t even scare him, that he was the monster.

It wasn't his looks, nor his glares. Phoenix had to deal with many scary Autobots, back when his crew used him as live bait, and with a Decepticon crew that never truly liked him in the first place. So, no, if it only were for the glares and his looks, Phoenix wouldn’t be scared of Starhawk (okay, maybe a little bit). Which means, it was something else. Something the youngling couldn’t point at, because Rodimus hardly told him anything about his boyfriend and Phoenix was too scared to directly ask Starhawk.

He couldn't even stay in the same room as the taller flier, unless Rodimus was with him. This is also the reason why Phoenix sneaked a little bit away from the two, the second they made it to a new planet.

The kid knew that it was a bad idea, but he could see that Rodimus wanted some alone time with Starhawk. He deserved it, after having to take care of the nervous mess Phoenix has become ever since they left the Lost Light behind. So, the youngspark waited until his brother and the scary flier were busy, before quietly leaving their ship. Taking his first steps into the outside world on his own, before those steps turned into a full sprint.

It was amazing to run without anything stopping him from doing it. Lightlost never let him run like this after all. They always stopped him, claiming that he could hurt himself or worse, and Phoenix always listened. Just like the good kid Lightlost wanted him to be.

But now? He was free to run without anyone telling him to stop. And Phoenix ran. Jumping over and sliding underneath obstacles that were in his way. Only stopping when he made it to the outskirts of a small city. A city, Phoenix wanted to explore, but at the same time, what if Lightlost was right? What if those living outside the safe walls of the Lost Light were dangerous? What if they only waited for him to come closer, only to snatch him up and do terrible things to him? Like making him bake for them until he dies of overworking himself. Or worse!

But then again, their journey so far has been safe. Nothing bad had happened, so why should something bad happen now? And even if, Phoenix can fly again. If something should go wrong, he can simply run away and transform. Leaving whoever is after him behind, as he escapes into the sky.

Yes, everything was okay. There was nothing to fear! And with a confidence he hasn’t felt in a long time, Phoenix walked into the city. Exploring every nook and cranny he could, while avoiding the few Decepticons walking among the mostly neutral looking Cybertronians. Just because he still had his badge doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t treat him the same as his past crew.

However, Phoenix soon enough learned that it was a bad idea to explore the city. Someone, despite the young flier’s best efforts, noticed that he was alone. And that someone was the embodiment of everything Lightlost had warned him about.

They were scary, loud and dangerous. Pushing Phoenix into a quiet alley, as they demanded everything he had, and only grew nastier for each second the youngling tried to explain that he didn’t have anything. Pressing their knife harder against his throat, after they finally realized that the youngspark in front of them really didn’t even have one Shanix on him.

“But you got some nice parts.” They said with a tone that froze the energon in Phoenix’s veins. “You don’t know how much someone would pay me for them. Or, maybe, I should leave you whole?” Phoenix could only fearfully stare at his assailant, as they snickered to themself. Giving the youngling a rough shove afterwards, that made him stumble a little bit, before he was painfully forced to the ground. Face facing the asphalt beneath him, as he felt the stranger stomp down on his back. Keeping him in place, as they pondered on what to do.

But before anything worse could happen, Phoenix felt the weight on his back disappear the second his assailant let out a blood curdling scream. Although, when he tried to raise his head to see what was going on, his savior barked a harsh, “Don’t look!”. And Phoenix listened. Covering his optics with his hands, as he listened to the screams of a mech who tried to escape death, but failed. The sickening crunch of their plating and the snapping of cables was all Phoenix could concentrate on, as they begged his savior to let them go. Offering whatever they had at hand, but it didn’t save them.

His savior tore them apart like nothing. At least, Phoenix thought they were torn in two. He heard two heavy thuds after all, before his savior complained about getting his plating dirty. But when he removed his hands from his face and sat up to see what had become of his attacker, his savior was there to cover his optics. Muttering a softer, yet still harsh, “I told you brat, no looking”, before picking him up and carrying the shaking youngling out of the alley.

Only when they were far away from the city was the hand removed from Phoenix’s optics. And as the youngling stared up at his savior, he started to cry.

“Tch, don’t tell me you feel sad for that pathetic excuse of a Cybertronian.” Growled Starhawk, as he looked down at the crying youngling. “They had it coming, end of story.”

“I’m… I’m n-not…not crying because of… of them… or f-for them…”

“Then why are you crying, brat?”

“It’s… it’s ruined… because of me…” Was all the youngling could mutter, before wiping the tears from his optics and looking up at Starhawk with one of his infuriating sad and apologetic look the kid only got, when he thought he did something wrong.

“What? What did you ruin?” Asked the taller flier angrily. Although, when his optics followed to where Phoenix was looking, he couldn’t help but to let out a barking laugh. "Seriously? You’re sad because I ruined my finish fighting that scum? That’s why you’re crying?” He exclaimed loudly, and only felt slightly bad for making the youngling flinch, before getting annoyed as Phoenix pressed himself closer to his chest. Getting energon on himself, and tear stains on Starhawks already dirty plating.

But considering the near death, and or near dismemberment, Starhawk left the kid alone. Carrying him back to their ship, while trying to figure out a way to get Phoenix to calm down and clean off the energon. If he didn’t, Rodimus surely would blow a fuse. Or worse.

“Say, brat, do you know how to use a cleaning kit?” Starhawk asked as soon as they were back in ‘their’ ship. With Rodimus still out searching for Phoenix in the surrounding woods. And that’s what he’ll do a little bit longer, while Starhawk made sure to dispose of the evidence still clinging to their plating.

“I… yes?” Phoenix answered confused. “But I… I don’t see how that can help us…”

“Phoenix, we’re both covered in energon. Me more than you. Rodimus will blow a fuse when he sees us.”

“Oh… then we better clean it up?”

“That’s the only good idea you had the whole day.” Starhawk smirked as he sat Phoenix down. And then, they went to work by getting the few cleaning kits they had. With the taller flier going first, after Phoenix insisted with a softly mumbled ‘You need it more than me…’ And who was Starhawk to decline.

Although, despite not wanting to, he sadly had to admit that Phoenix, despite knowing terrible little about the needed maintenance for fliers, was surprisingly good at polishing. The kid even smiled up at him, after finishing the parts Starhawk graciously allowed him to work on. And after he was done, it was Phoenix’s turn. Which was mostly spent in silence, as Starhawk carefully took care of the younger flier’s wings, after Phoenix was done with cleaning himself. Grimacing only once as he found year old dirt in the seams where the youngling’s wings connected with his back. “To think that Lightlost didn’t notice this…”

“They probably had more important things to do.” Said Phoenix, before letting out a soft sigh. Head lolling to the side, as his frame relaxed from Starhawk’s demonstration.

“Still. They should have, at least, made you take better care of your frame. You only have this one, brat.”

“Mhm…”

It was silent again, as Starhawk continued his work. Watching how the brat would doze off for a few seconds. Sometimes, he would even start to fall asleep, before jolting awake and sitting upright again. Causing Starhawk to smirk as he finished up, placing the supplies back into the kit, as soon as they were done. “Heh, usually you would be running for the hills by now. Aren’t you scared of the big bad mech Lightlost warned you about?”

It took Phoenix as second to understand what Starhawk meant. Between what happened in the city and now, the youngling has grown a little bit sleepy. Okay, maybe more than a little bit but still not enough to make him fall asleep right now. “I… am scared of you…”

Starhawk scoffed, “Of course you are.” to which Phoenix only pouted. “You didn’t let me finish… I am scared of you… or better said, I was. Maybe I’m still a little bit scared. I mean, you’re the monster… But… you also haven’t done anything bad either.” Phoenix let out a soft yawn, as he carefully climbed into Starhawk’s lab. Being extra careful as to not ruin the now fixed finish and surprising the taller flier by cuddling against him. “You’re nice to me… nicer than most ever were… and Rodimus like you… And you saved me… So…”

“So? Phoenix? What do you mean with… oh…” Starhawk groaned quietly as he looked down, only to find the youngling fast asleep. “You’re lucky that you’re somewhat okay, brat.” Muttered the taller flier quietly, while softly stroking the youngspark’s head. Knowing full well that moving now would be a stupid idea.

And when Rodimus returned from searching for his missing brother, he came back to the sight of his favorite Sparkeater clutching his little brother protectively while both of them slept. At least Rodimus thought that both of them were sleeping, as he quickly snapped a picture for either memory sake or blackmail.

Either way, it was an endearing sight to see.

#transformers #sentient sg/lost light au #sentient sg/lost light #cuppajj made the sentient sg/ll au #sg/starhawk #sg/starhawk is dimorphodon x's character #sg/phoenix #sg/rodimus #tw: a not important character dies #transformer ocs #transformers oc #heh...I don't know what else I should tag ^^'#sorry for he length?

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