#scared of hurting them. yknow

[snickeringdragon]

You know, after the Kingquest, Siffrin might not be very quick to go for the squish on Sadnesses.

On the other hand, I bet fastballing Bonnie at him would stop a spiral right quick. Or exacerbate it to the point of stupid-huge, but anyway. Drop Everything And Hold Child.

i dont think this is quite what you meant. but either way it gave me an idea.

#snickart #event horizon au #in stars and time #siffrin isat #bonnie isat #ive discussed w my friends how i think sif wouldnt want to really. handle? i guess? bonnie #since yknow. the whole #King grabs bonnie thing. <3 #scared of hurting them. yknow #though your idea is also good. i think these can coexist #i hope this little comic is like. understandable btw lol #smthn happened to me when i got hte idea and i just drew. i do that alot . #my followers are finally learning how much i fucking draw. i just dont post any of it #dragon cave's mailbox

[anguishmacgyver]

–Daniel. Damn it! –I’m dead anyway. Just get outta here. –I am not leaving you here, Daniel! –Get out of here! We’re just going to blow up with the other ship anyway. What difference does it make! Go! Just go... I’ll stay and watch your back.

#stargate #stargate sg1 #othergifs #sg1 2x01 #whump #bleeding #jack o'neill #daniel jackson #what gets me in this one is his voice right?? but yknow #everything else as well!! #for once in his life he is scared of the consequences #but he'll do whatever it takes #also lets also talk about jack here #what this means to him!! as a man with a duty #a duty to his team but also his country and also his son i meAN DANIEL #like #so much therapy for the both of them after this #also burns hurt like HELL so ouch very ouch #what DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?? #WEEPS forever #stargate sg1 2x01 #whumpedit

[garbomode]

HOLD ON i can't stop thinking about a take i keep seeing that's like "kraken ed wasn't really that bad, he only hurt izzy and izzy deserved it." because like, even putting aside the izzy apologist in me, it's still just objectively wrong. he pushed lucius off the ship! as far as anyone knew he killed him!! that seems kind of like hurting someone to me!!

#plus the yknow. threatening the crew with a gun #nearly killing them all #not to mention the crew watching him hurt izzy is not a great fucking time for them #like even if they think he kinda sucks ur boss just fuckin SHOT him !! you're probably gonna be a little scared of the guy after that!! #anyway i still have mixed feelings about the whole “ed is abusing izzy” thing #but i have been rotating this in my head for a while and i need to say it here or i'll start talking to my mom about it #i have already discussed with her the izzy dying discourse at length #ofmd #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #ofmd 2 #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #edward teach #sorry i don't know how to tag this for ppl who don't want to see it #i assume anyone who'll be too annoyed by it has blocked me already

[lovesickeros]

☆ lost in orbit

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings violence [ implied ], unhealthy relationship {☆} word count 0.6k

She had resigned herself to apathy – to burying her love beneath the cold, hard soil and letting it rot amongst the graves of a long dead civilization, burned to ash in only a day. Yet how quickly it all fell apart in her hands, slipping through her fingers like sand, no matter how desperately she tried to cling to it.

Was she not diligent enough? Was she so weak that she faltered at the first person who showed her genuine trust and affection? Had all her work been for naught?

A part of her revolts – the same woman who watched the sky burn and the ground beneath her feet crumble into ash. It would be so easy to wrap her hands around your delicate throat, to squeeze until you finally saw her as the monster she knew she has always been.

Yet she doesn't think she could. The look of betrayal, of fear..oh, it would ruin her, she knows.

Perhaps that makes her weak. Perhaps you have made her weak.

Perhaps she does not mind as much as she should.

You trust her, after all – enough to sleep in her bed like she couldn't just kill you before you ever knew what was happening to you. Your body was so..fragile, in this mortal shell you descended in. How easy it would be to snuff out your life, here and now.

Yet she doesn't.

Instead, she looks at you like an old lover – with all the love of a woman who had died in the ashes of a dying civilization, of a woman who thought she could love no longer. Emotions she fought so hard to suppress well up in her chest and fill the empty space where she knows her heart should beat. Try as she might – and oh, how she tries – she can never quite stem the affection that consumes her every waking moment when she sees you.

It is like an addiction that she cannot rid herself of, no matter how she tries. She always finds herself back at square one – back to you.

Her hand lingers against your cheek, undue affection filling the empty spaces in her chest until she feels like cannot breathe. She traces her hand along your jaw, her vision narrowed on the softness of your lips.

Yet that same thought rises unbidden to the forefront of her thoughts. Love was a dangerous thing – you both knew that. To let it fester and rot her from within..she would be throwing her plans out the window, and for what?

Because she was too weak? Because the affection and trust in your eyes whenever your looked at her made her feel whole, like she was more then just an Archon playing God with the fate of the world?

You do not even stir as her thoughts toil like a brewing storm. She swallows the lump in her throat, removing her hand like she'd just touched a piece of hot metal. A part of her still screams that it's for the best, that you've corrupted her enough, torn apart her plans in the span of a week, a mere blink in time..

But it goes silent as she leans in, pressing her lips to your cheek. She will not let the thought fester, tonight – she will let herself be weak, if only for another day. If only to covet the affection that she finds herself drowning in for just another day.

And when you stir, she pretends that she had never thought of it at all, that she has only ever known love with you. Even if her heart that does not beat leaves a stabbing pain in her chest in the agony of knowing that even this is futile..

She lets you wake, let's the recognition and the affection fill your vision until she is all you see – two stars locked in orbit, unable to break away.

And when the day comes that you collide, she will be holding the blade that drives into your chest, and she will know nothing but love when she does.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #tsaritsa #fellas is it gay to think abt murdering ur lover bc u love them so much #everyone hcing that her lover died in khaenri'ah but what if she killed them.. #tsaritsa killing her lover so they dont have to walk down the same path and suffer the consequences when celestia retaliates>>> #tsaritsa killing her lover bc to her them dying is better then living and she refuses to let them be corrupted by going down the same path #i just think shes a little silly!!! a little goofy!!!! i forgive her #theres just smth abt tragic lesbians and also tragic lesbians whose tragedy is one of their own making #yknow :) #but at the SAME TIME. her lover dying and wanting her to move on and LIVE but shes so spiteful shes willing to destroy herself to #destroy celestia. she doesnt care abt what happens to her bc if her lover isnt there with her then what does it matter? she has nothing lef #to lose. #characters who become their lover would hate bc living in a world without them is agony>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #also i only tagged unhealthy relationship bc the tsaritsa is. unhinged but shes actually v normal in the relationship #she loves u!!!! and shes a good lover!!! she just thinks abt killing u sometimes bc she loves too much and its easier to kill u now vs lose #you later on where it will hurt WORSE #also bc smth smth she thinks itll make it hurt less if she kills you vs someone else bc she would actually LOSE IT if someone hurt u #spoilers it does not and she spirals and is haunted by what shes done and constantly tries to lie to herself to justify it. it does not wor #did i scare off the normal ppl w this one.......maybe!!!!! #i meant morally grey at best when i said morally grey at best!! #crawls back into my ditch okay im shutting up now

[vampyrsm]

got my letter to go for a cervical screening and i am terrified!!

#— alex rambles #i don’t even turn 25 for another like 6 months #(they only offer them from 25 onwards here) #but i’m so scared #one i know it’ll hurt #two i am not a fan of having my vagina out yknow

[whomturgled]

i have so many feelings and i hate it

#and regrets of any time ive acted up or feel like in hindsight it wasnt cherishing the time i have w them as i shld be and #and things i want to do with them still and ways to love them and be loved and understand their way of loving and #i think we can be so good together and. i miss them. and i hope they miss me. #i really hope theyll miss me soon and want me again and . ik its maybe a little messed up but i want to believe and trust and #its hard and it hurts but. i really feel theres a great connection and if i need to chill out a bit and remember myself more thats fine #and on me for getting so like. moody recently. altho i kinda feel like part of that is med changes but u__u still i need to be able to like #be better and i think they make me better and so happy and. im so comfortable with them and i love them and i wld want to make it work #even if it had to be distance but i dont think i want to just be their friend like maybe but it would hurt a lot bc i love them so much #and i hope they wanna be with me too still and will allow me to romance them yknow flowers and adventures and love and take care and... yea #and maybe some of this was just them going thru a lot rn and im sorry for adding pressure to it and i want to be the comfortable respite an #auurgrgghfhdhdhhfhfdhh i miss them #i just keep thinking abt them like ill have periods of not but then i do again and. idk. #theres also a lot of complicated feelings and thoughts and its like i want to like. idk. know some of their friends n stuff n. :^( idk #i dont feel well from the stress and emotions and ow of it all #i really hope it isnt just a way for them to let me down i really hope they come back eventually like i wanna believe they will but #ourgsghthfhdhfhghghdhdhwkelftk4bfbhwiwjtjejAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i love them a lot. and need to listen more abt more alone time stuff bc it is good for both of us but not like this u_u #ok sorry for rambling i needed somewhere to write feelings so here we are #i guess part of me is hoping theyre thinking abt me at least a bit and maybe will check this and see it and be like wow i do miss them too #but ik thats silly and eitth3u2ieigjtb4jirifjwji24jgntn aahhhhhhhhhhh. i say a lot of things wrong esp when scared or overly emotional and. #urgevshehrhtjrjeitjtnjeeitjtjwjeiigvjiw9384847rhfbwjoe4j4n4j289djrnrnf #i just really really hope they come back soonish and like want me and are like yes i do want you sorry for that but not a huge sorry bc #like i understand where theyre coming from and. and. yeah. idk. soon doesnt have to be today or tomorrow but maybe a week or 2 idk #i just realy miss them and it hurts and i really dont want them with someone else or to just throw it all away andni want to prove i can #like. idk. love them and be better and more positive i guess we've both been dealing w a lot of stuff and i do need to learn to accept and #more patient w how we communicate differently and we do have to face that but its a difficult topic to confront ig and aurh4hwhshhrlffff #i think they love me i want to trust and i really hope they dont try to make any decisions for me or like based on what they think best 4 m #bc i get to decide that :^( #when i said let down i meant like. leave my life and never talk to me again and stuff.. ;^(. idk how to feel abt some things but. idk. idk. #theres so many feelings and that all is just a pretty vague tip of the iceberg ugh

[oscill4te]

Bro :") Therapy is helping me so much... currently dealing with something that would have been impossible for me a month ago and i feel in control and safe & likr everything is gonna be okay

#i used to associate someone at work with something in my past. id tremble around them and not even be able to walk around them #my body was unable to differientiate that this is a different person not the person who hurt me in other words #even if rationally I knew this person wasnt dangerous or the person from the past. it felt hell-ish. body keeps the score yknow. #here i am eating lunch w them. bruh #txt #i still feel frozen a bit but i am not trembling. i can control my muscles. im assuring young alts that we are safe and they trust me #they are still a quite scared but they feel safer now and that means... so so much.. #before my throat would lock up. i wouldn't be able to speak. let alone eat. i avoided this situation for years #its.. so crazy to me how much somatic therapy techniques help for trauma. somatic is the way to go

[haemosexuality]

these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone

#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably #bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice #and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me #bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to #did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others? #no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really #likeable. so ill take what i can get #when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start. #treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember #this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend #will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and #now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen #years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow? #when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her #to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all #and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things #and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk #to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl #because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant #connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just #not have anyone forever #i guess #especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks #Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the #gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normal™. idk how to find the former group irl #and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively #and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday- #anyways. certified magnus archives moment

[tortademaracuya]

.

#idk why i thought it would be different this time #im an absolute idiot. im too fucking stupid to comprend all this shit #'maybe my professors will know how to help me' they never tell me shit. they havent helped me at all. i feel so stupid every correction #no matter how much i read or what i watch its like i cant understand anything #i used to love programming!!! i used to actually know what i was doing!!!!! when did i become so stupid!!!! #should i aak for help from someone else? probably! but i dont want them to know how much of an idiot i am #just kidding. i know all my friends know how stupid i am. doesnt mean i dont want them to give them even more proof of that #nor bother them either tbh. why should they have to waste time because im a fucking idiot? #im. such a disappointment #i dont want to do this anymore #every monday is just me going to that stupid class and see how dumb i am compared to everyone else. so pathetic #how did i even manage to pass all my classes? how do i only have my thesis left? #part of me wants to abandon everything but what would i do then? look for a job? #im an idiot and a horrible artist where the hell would i get a job? not like finishing my thesis would change that but. yknow #im so scared. for real how did it end up like this? #everyday i feel more stupid. i remember less. my body hurts a little more each day for reasons unknown #i dont understand how others have any expectation of me #i cant talk to others because everytime i have tried to express any worry i instantly get a joke or mock in reply #im so tired of everything #haunted.txt

[daz4i]

this is gonna sound a little bit insane probably but. okay so my vocal coach is really insistent that i develop some confidence and be kinder to myself and like, so do most people in my life really bc they want me to be happy ig. but i’m so afraid it’ll make my confidence bloat and i’ll become blind to my flaws or see myself as better than i actually am and make an ass of myself or become mean and arrogant. so i just don’t but i think this is making people mad. h

#like seeing firsthand someone think they're a way better person than they actually are put this in perspective even more #how much i DON'T wanna become smth like that. it's not only embarrassing it's also uncomfortable for those around you #bc no friend is gonna call you out on smth like that. like no one's gonna tell you ''you're a way worse person than you think you are'' #so the slap you WILL get from reality would be even worse and you'll probably end up hurting people on the way there too #and i'm very scared of hurting people aslkdjfghj i really really don't wanna do that #my standards for being good are just impossibly high so it feels like beating myself up for any mistake is the only way to enforce them #and i know that's not healthy but i know myself and i know i'm Not good and can get mean and full of myself very fast #so when it comes to hurting others or hurting my mental health the choice seems very obvious yknow?? the numbers are clear #yeah i def sound insane now. sorry

[deadandwalking]

if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying

#thinking a bit too hard now #am i even going to survive long enough to make it all ok #why does nobody see i’m a kid #also side note obsession hurts so fucking bad especially when your object causes guilt because you know it should be someone else #pattern recognition is a curse #mmm yknow what fuck it i’m gonna elaborate briefly on everything because fuck silence i deserve to be heard for once #apologising to Boo because i ruined her life #i fear my family falling apart because most of us want to die and it’s impossible to keep everyone happy it seems #the bio family kinda speaks for itself but uuuh yeah i am not accepting my sister is bad #worried about grades and jobs because there’s a lot less money at home now but my brothers won’t cut back so i have to #which is really fucking up my progress with my ed #preparing to mourn because Angel’s been dying a while now and now he’s trying to finish the job himself #fearing growing old because will i really be better or will i spend my life miserable and psychotic #i miss Vermin again #i want him back but he was never here #i miss Wade #but i don’t think he misses me #he’s been online he’s just ignoring me #disgusted because hypersexuality is a bitch and i’ve tried sliding it into conversations with people i really need to fucking talk about it #it’s starting to feel suffocating but i’m too fucking embarrassed still #like i know it’s just a coping mechanism for all the trauma but #i can’t help feeling disgusting still #i cry over my family near every day because i just want us to be fucking happy for once #i have been clinging so hard to newer headspace members to give the others a break #two of them just happened to take the form of Chris Redfield and Mewtwo #again a sex thing i want to feel like my husbands want me but i’m too scared to do anything yet #ok confession done i’m gonna regret this tomorrow but whatever who really cares

[karmaphone]

seeing some of this egg discourse it's like. I think some of you have rancid friends and/or have whacked out perceptions of how interactions with other people go and what they Mean

#a lot of this is strawmanning a lot of it's trans people talking past each other in both directions #don't make me tap the sign #be aware of what could hurt your friends but don't deny them knowledge if it wouldn't yknow? the usual shit #the girl ranting about how her mom never respects her might be in a better place to hear that her parent is abusive than a girl who #expresses how scared she is of her mother ykwim? #you can't give the latter resources on how to go no contact and expect it to go well #I'm NOT saying being trans/not having cracked your egg is analogous to abuse #I'm saying you gotta navigate situations differently based on what the person is ready for #and a lot of the time people ARE ready to hear that nudge of 'hey I did that before realizing I was a trans woman' #but you gotta respect the times when saying that would make them freak out and go 'nOPE IM JUST A FUNKY GUY NO GENDER HERE PLEASE DO NOT #IMPLY ANYTHING ABOUT MY GENDER I AM TOTALLY A GUY' #I've seen it happen it's not pretty and it's not funny #but acting like the latter group doesn't exist is. not great #how are you supposed to hold a safe space for that person if they don't Feel Safe about it? #not everyone has an easy eye-opening experience but that doesn't mean you gotta reach over and yank their eyelids apart #but that doesn't mean other people wouldn't benefit from you doing that. Fuckin depends innit #as I always say. nuance in all things

[leatherbookmark]

was all \(￣︶￣*\)) about poasting on a kpop community on dw, but then i noticed an introduction post! yay! i love introduction posts! except oops, you gotta introduce yourself with a name, like normal people do. stressing

#shrimp thoughts #so this might be a shock to some. but shrimp is not what i'd consider a name. it's like a jokey nickname that i started to use towards #myself and then just went along w/ it. i COULD crowdsource but i'm incredibly picky and i don't want people to feel bad #i also could yknow just come up w/ something on my own but what's the guarantee that i won't grow to dislike it/feel that it's not “mine” #anymore. i'm your typical overly sensitive shy kid irl so when i tried going by eliza in uni it was like one teacher makes a face -> i get #self-conscious about being the only weirdo who doesn't go by their given name like a normal person -> when people naturally get confused #or call me by my given name i'm hurt but correcting them feels like an asshole thing to do so i don't (until i do something extra like #ignoring when someone calls me by my given name and going 'did you mean me? that's not my name >:/') AND SO i'm just scared that #people will see the glaring red HIGH-MAINTENANCE AND SELF-OBSESSED neon sign floating above my head if i pick another name #after having made All This Fuss already. even though no one here knows me irl so. yeah #talking about yourself in terms of who you are and how do you want people to refer to you is so embarrassing #like telling them “lies” feels -- again -- high-maintenance and self-obsessed but while i'm fine w/ family/old friends calling me by my #given name i Would Rather Not actively introduce myself with it if possible... ach! such is life.

[subway-intercom]

.

#yknow i dont think he realises what he's doing to himself #keeps going on about how he's depressed and anxious all the time but the very moment something makes him uncomfortable he just leaves #drops people without even trying to fix things #and instead of thinking “hey maybe thats making me feel worse” he just wallows in his own self pity #i dont think he realises what it does to other people too #ive spoken with mutual friends - theyre scared like i was #and apparently being scared is enough to make him uncomfortable and not want to *bother* with me anymore #but i swear to fuck if he hurts them im making him fucking apologise #he hasnt blocked my accounts only unfollowed them and ive kept distance out of respect for the inital block but if he fucking hurts them??? #too fucking bad #i'll let him know how severely he's fucked up #the thing is i TRIED to cheer him up #tried to bring him a little happiness #only for him to shove me away and claim that its weird to try #as if decent friends arent supposed to do that #my only regret was that i tired being gentle with him to the end even as he spoke to me like it was all my fault #needs to get his head out his own ass

[arolesbianism]

Hi sorry for disappearing but uhhh 25ji 👍 (<- not ok)

#rat rambles #sekai posting #its just. the 25ji work friends to real friends arc is hitting hard rn #its like. they may not be the closest compared to some other sekai characters but god would these assholes die for eachother #they care so much. and now that things are truly going to shit its hitting them like a truck #just the scene with kanade and mafuyu. god kanade is trying so hard to put up a strong face for mafuyu and god is it. rough to watch. #in an ideal world smth smth kanade character debelopment thats actually abt her own issues but yknow blah blah blah #Ill save my pissy kanade fan stuff for if they truly drop the ball with her this is the climax of mafuyu arc so its mostly focused on them #also obligitory * that I dont fully think they intended kanade to read that way but Im trying to be optimistic here #anyways holy fuck this event was so fucking good #this is what Ive been waiting for #and I am genuinely so glad they didnt have mafuyu get like. properly mad at their mom just yet. #Im glad that them expressing their feelings is them expressing their absolute Desperation #they dont Want to fight their mom. theh dont Want to see her hurt. despite it all they are desperate to believe that she loves them. #they genuinely loved their mom and in a way they still do #but at the same time they are so so fucking Scared of her #and that fact alone is another reason for their despeeation I think #they dont Want to be scared of her. they dont want to hide things from her or feel so boxed up in their own home they #they desperately want her to show them they dont have to be scared of her. and she is very much not doing that. #and now theyre backed in a corner. and with no other options it seems all that much more likely that theyre going to have to fight. #I doubt theyre fully running away right now tbh. I think they Might in the future but rn I just dont think mafuyu will allow it #theyre still desperate for their mom to understand. I think they might try making peace one more time but ofc it wont happeb #so its either fight or flight. and eventually itll kind of have to be both #cause freezing sure as hell wasnt workinf #my current prediction is that kanade or someone else in 25ji will put up the offer but mafuyu will push back initially #shes probably going to stay away from home for a lil bit at least even if shell probably try to push to going back way too soon #maybe her dad will get involved? idk hopefully the writers have plans for him I could see him going either way #either way mafuyu will probably either decide to 'temporarily' stay at one of the other's places or will start more openly rebeling #the former would probably be better for mafuyu and is more likely but idk Im not fully sure if thats where theyre taking them #I will have some bitching to do if its at kanade's place but hey probably better than enas despite everything

[tiredsadpeach]

Okay so update his bf apologized (the one I was talking to in the first place) but I haven’t heard from the friend since he asked me if I could come to one of his shows

#and I found out that there were probably more shows that I could’ve gone to but he never mentioned them and I was too scared to ask #he’s barely even tweeted since so I don’t even have a gauge of like how he’s feeling especially towards me #so there’s absolutely no way I’m contacting him first rn not if I can’t tell if he’s just gonna snap at me or something #but the bf and I talked things out and while I still don’t fully see how what I said was mean because tbh he just forgot to explain and I #wasn’t gonna pester him about it I did apologize too as yknow just because you don’t mean to hurt someone doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen #but yeah found out that he has a good psychiatrist but all I had heard of their relationship was that he was kinda upset that the #psychiatrist called him and my friends relationship unhealthy and one sided which unhealthy oohhh yeah but not at all one sided #so I just had assumed he didn’t like the psychiatrist that much and I don’t like mine so I called her method into question which is not a #bad thing to me but I guess since he likes her then it might’ve upset him and that’s fine I take responsibility there #I just wish I was idk talked to instead of the sudden aggression but I’m glad I’m coming out of this with at least one friendship in tact #will my friend apologize? who knows! I’m too scared to message first and he may be too stubborn to do it so lol #but I am very sad I didn’t get to see his musical because yknow still rn that’s my best friend he’ll that’s my fp and I couldn’t be there to #support him because of a stupid argument that doesn’t make any sense to me which only makes me assume he doesn’t like me and this is an #excuse to get rid of me because teehee bpd #also had a little breakdown because I can’t save money like I feel incapable of saving but I think I’m okay now and I have work tomorrow #payday is the end of next week so I gotta be super strict with it this time #but yeah that’s the update on the now over a week long arguement over not trusting psychiatrists