#ryan howard imagine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

perfectpaperbluebirds · 1 year

Note

would you be willing to write for ryan from the office again? :)

Ryan Howard is super sick. A new coworker takes care of him and helps him with his congestion. CW: Induced sneezing (non-kink).

So I know canonically Ryan is a selfish, egotistical ass who never learns from his mistakes, but I can just imagine him being a little more subdued and boyish and eager to please when he first starts his fancy corporate job, and even more so if he finds himself miserably sick. For that reason, this story is set within the first few weeks of him leaving the Scranton branch and starting his new role. Mess warning, definitely more than I usually write. It was egg week when I wrote most of this, so no apologies. This also refers to sn*t and other less “pretty” snz words often, because that’s how I imagine Ryan would think about them.

To the anon who requested, sorry as always for the long wait. Winter sucks the writing juice out of me without fail. At least it’s extra long anyway. Hope this is somewhat what you were looking for.

Based on this post by @nobodybetterlookatme

Prompts used (from this old prompt list):

🦠 sniffles

🤧 sick for the holidays

What A Lovely Way to Burn

Ryan Howard scrubbed his hands over his face for the third or fourth time that hour, noting yet again how cold his hands felt against his cheeks. He sniffled, coughed, hating the grating sound it made and how much it hurt his head and throat. He had hardly put his hands down when a demanding itch flared up in his sinuses and he scrambled to grab a tissue.

"KZZT'choo! KHGGZT'choo!!" The thick, stifled sneezes had unpleasantly shifted all the congestion in his head, and he blew what felt like a gallon of slime out of his nose.

"You've been in New York for two weeks in the middle of summer, and you're already sick?" came a laughing voice from nearby. Ryan jumped, shoving the nasty tissue out of sight hurriedly. A hot girl, in fact that hottest girl here, the one that had caught his attention from the first day, was standing in front of his desk. Actually, leaning on it would be more accurate. She smirked at him flirtatiously, taking in his barely-unpacked desk and sickly, disheveled appearance. "Happy fourth of July, by the way."

"Yep. Happy fourth of July. Sick for the most random holiday. Call me lucky, I guess," he said, wishing he could pronounce the consonants properly.

"New York has that effect on people. Sorry about your luck, Lucky. My name's Tiffani. With an I.

"Nice to meet you, Tiffani with an I. And my name isn't actually Lucky. It's Ryan."

"I noticed." She nodded to the shiny nameplate on the front of his desk that had just arrived that morning. "Well Ryan Howard, VP of Northeast Sales, you are clearly a walking health hazard. What the hell are you doing here if you're sick?"

"I mean you said it yourself," he croaked. "I haven't even been here two weeks yet. It would look so bad if I called in already."

"Hmm." Before he realized what she was doing, her cool hand was pressed against his forehead. She made a soft sound in her throat, then suddenly both her hands were gently cupping his cheeks.

"You have a fever. Poor thing," she cooed, gently running her thumbs over his cheek bones.

He sniffled wetly, then coughed. "That's no big deal. I just hate that I can't stop coughing and sneezing."

"Aww, honey. You should be in bed," she said sternly.

"Trust me, I wish I was. But I just… I can't. Now's not the right time."

"Hmm," she said again, scrutinizing him. "If you say so. Have you eaten?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I'm not hungry. I can't taste anything, so–"

"Well that doesn't matter. You still need to eat. Wait here."

He watched her go, feeling a little breathless from everything that had transpired in the past five minutes, snotty cold notwithstanding.

Tiffani was gone longer than he expected (though he really had no idea what to expect), so he was attempting to work once more when a box of tissues hit him in the arm, nearly making him leap out of his seat. He glanced up to find Tiffani smirking at him yet again, holding a styrofoam takeout container.

"I said your name twice and you didn't even look up. Are you always this easy to scare?"

"No," he said sullenly. "My ears are all plugged up with everything else. And I was trying to concentrate."

"My apologies. I didn't realize you were so busy and important. Guess I'll take back the stuff I got you if you don't want it…."

He quickly pulled the desperately-needed box of tissues out of her reach. These weren't the crappy industrial office ones he'd been using either–they were the premium lotion ones.

"No, I want it," he said quickly. "Thank you. For bringing them."

"That's only half of it." She set down the styrofoam container and pushed it toward him. "You need to eat. You'll feel better if you do."

He reached for this offering almost in spite of himself, feeling a sudden, low rumble of hunger. The container was very warm; whatever it was would feel so good on his sore throat. "Where did you get all this?"

"I had it delivered of course."

"But… why?"

"Sucking up to the new VP, why else?"

Suddenly her hand was pressed to his forehead again, so fast he hardly saw her move. He found himself leaning into the touch almost reflexively, heavy and aching as his head was.

She clucked her tongue. "If you're going to stay, you need to take some medicine for that fever." She produced a bottle of Tylenol and pushed it toward him with the rest.

"You really don't need to do all this. It's just a cold." Yet he reached for the pills too, knowing her logic was sound. The next four hours would go much smoother if he was medicated. A thick, rumbling cough escaped before he could swallow the pills, making his chest and throat sear.

"Since you've apparently caught a cold from hell, I really think I do need to do all this."

"Why, though?" he croaked again, helplessly. "We hardly know each other."

She leaned in, giving him a clear view of the cleavage he'd been trying to avoid staring at until now. When she spoke, her voice was soft and silky. "Because someone needs to take care of the new boss, and that someone might as well be me." She straightened up again, brushing her hair over her shoulder with an air of someone who knew exactly what she was doing. "I'll be keeping an eye on you today. We'll make sure you start feeling better, for all our sakes. No one is getting any work done with you coughing and sneezing in here like you have been."

Ryan felt himself flush. "Thanks," he muttered, sniffling uncomfortably.

She was true to her word and checked on him regularly throughout the day. He wasn't entirely sure yet what her role was in the company, but apparently it had a lot of flexibility, judging by how much she was away from her desk. And every time she came, she brought him something else–cough drops, tea, more medicine. He had to admit, she was incredibly good at predicting his needs. He survived the intervening hours in far more comfort than he would have without her help.

Still, when the end of the day rolled around, he was the sort of utterly exhausted that only working while miserably sick can cause. Half dead on his feet, he slowly packed up to leave, and in the process he nearly crashed into Tiffani, who had snuck up on him once again and was standing beside his desk. In his foggy state he staggered and almost fell, but she caught him by the arm to steady him.

"You really are a mess, aren't you?" she asked, worry coloring her tone.

" 'm just sick," he mumbled, coughing wetly to prove his point. "And I didn't expect you to be standing there. What are you doing anyway?" he asked, noting that she was also dressed to leave and carrying her purse.

"Coming to take you home."

"I'm an adult. I don't need help getting back to my apartment."

"We're not going to your apartment. We're going to mine."

She laughed at the expression on his face at this development.

"You just moved here, and you're a guy, so I'm sure at best you're sleeping on a mattress on the floor. You also probably have no food or medicine at your place yet, which is why you're as sick as you are to begin with. It makes way more sense for you to come home with me. You'll be much more comfortable."

He frowned half-heartedly, but had no argument. She had him pegged perfectly. Nothing sounded better than a real bed and a furnished apartment right now.

Seeing she had won, she smirked. She proved her powers of observation once more when she prodded the toe of her shoe into the corner of the duffle bag peeking out from under his desk. "What's this? Gym bag?"

"Yeah. Was planning to use the gym here but…" he gestured vaguely at his red, dripping nose.

"Bring that with you, then, and let's go." She grabbed his elbow possessively. "You'll love my place. It's very cozy."

A subway ride and a short walk later, they were arriving at a section of lower-income but still decent housing hidden in the heart of the city. Ryan hardly knew the city yet, and he was too sick and tired to pay attention to where they were going, but let her lead him with gentle pushes and pulls on his arm, trying to look less contagious than he felt. He could tell his fever was creeping up by how hot his ears felt, and all he wanted to do was fall into something resembling a bed and not get up for a long time. He let her lead him into an apartment building, up a few flights of stairs, and through one of the doors off a hallway landing.

It was a quaint little studio apartment, painted in soft, muted tones with cheerful feminine accents here and there, bright and open. The bed was immediately to the right of the door, separated from the rest of the room by cleverly placed shelving units, giving the feel of it being more than one room while a cozy sitting area dominated the rest of the space. One wall was made up almost entirely of windows, and the sunset leant a lovely, natural glow to the atmosphere.

"You have a beautiful apartment," he rasped, getting less intelligible by the hour.

"Thank you. I've lived here for three years now. I love it."

Ryan would never be bold enough to take a stranger's bed without being asked, so he made for the large couch, kicking off his shoes and shedding his jacket as he went with another husky cough. His original plan was to sit on the couch and just breathe for a bit, and make an attempt to be good company, but the plush cushions were so comfortable that he sank sideways, almost against his will, until his face met the soft throw pillow on his right. His eyes fell closed of their own accord and he tucked his legs up as well, but he did his best to stay awake for the time being. In his current state, the wide couch felt more comfortable than any bed he'd ever slept in. Yet Tiffani didn't let him get too comfortable, and plied him with medications for the fever immediately.

"It's been hours since your last dose and you're looking really sick again," she explained, watching as he drank a glass of water with the pills.

"I can't say I don't feel it," he sniffled, lying back down.

"Poor thing," she cooed. "I'm glad you can finally rest for a while.

He listened as Tiffani puttered around putting her things away. Soft music began to play, and then he heard a sharp clicking sound. His eyes fluttered open to see her lighting a candle. At ease immediately, his lids slipped shut again.

It seemed only a moment passed before he felt her shaking his arm, but when he opened his eyes again, she had changed clothes and showered, and her hair was in a towel.

"You should get a shower and get out of your work clothes," she said. "You'll feel better when you're more comfortable."

He grunted his assent, his throat too sore to want to talk. He sluggishly levered himself into a sitting position, sniffling as he tried to avoid dripping on himself, then stood, grabbing his gym bag. The urge to sneeze overwhelmed him suddenly:

“Heh’KIHHPT’shoo! Hddd'TSHHHooo! Dihh'IHSHHooo!!

He almost doubled over with the force of the messy trio. He hardly had time to cover, let alone find a tissue, so his hands were covered in slime by the end. He made a disgusted sound in his throat as he surveyed the mess.

"Bless you. Now you definitely need a shower," Tiffani laughed, unperturbed. "Go get cleaned up. Maybe it'll clear your head a bit too."

He tried to do as he was told, but just as he reached his destination another pair of sneezes snuck up on him, further soiling his hands:

“KIIHHPT-ttsscch! KHHGGT'nxxt!"

“Bless you again,” Tiffani said dutifully.

"Why is this cold getting worse instead of better?" he griped, swiping a tissue from the bathroom counter to scrub at his hands and nose as he continued to sniffle fruitlessly.

"That's how colds work, silly," she said, rolling her eyes fondly.

"Will this one seems to suck more than most," he mumbled, shutting the bathroom door behind him at last.

The hot water did indeed help in many ways, from the aches to the congestion to the tiredness, and he emerged feeling marginally better, especially now that he was wearing soft workout clothes instead of a starchy shirt and pants. He managed to smile at Tiffani from the door of the bathroom, but the first breath he took of non-steamy air brought the sinus irritation roaring back, and he was forced to bury his face into the bundle of clothes in his arms as he exploded into the messiest sneezing fit yet:

Huhh’REHHSHHHoo! ESSHHHyoo! Kuh-hh-HUSSHHHoo! Huh’ISSHHoo! Hh-h… huh’KIISHHoo! Heh-hh… Hiihg’KSSHHoo!”

“BLESS you,” Tiffany said, looking startled now. “That was… intense. Do you feel better at least?”

Ryan could only shake his head as his breath started to hitch once more, eyes red and streaming already: “Hehh'dzz-IHHH'shoo! Heh'KIHHT'shoo! Kihhh'IHHTchoo! Hihh'GEHH-CHOOF!”

Tiffani frowned. “Something is setting you off. You shouldn’t be sneezing so much.”

“Mbaybe idt’s the ca’dle,” Ryan croaked, nodding to the counter where the scented flame was still flickering. “Budt those dond’t usually bother mbe….”

Tiffani didn’t wait for him to finish and quickly snuffed out the offending flame. Meanwhile Ryan crushed a handful of tissues to his weeping nose, trying to quell the persistent tickle as he staggered his way back to the couch, feeling much worse now than he had before the shower. His head throbbed, his eyes ached, his throat seared. The brief sense of relief the shower had provided was already a faint memory. He felt distinctly foggy as Tiffani plied him with food and fussed around, trying to make him comfortable. He managed a few bites, trying to make her happy. The itching in his nose never fully subsided, though, nor did the dripping, and now his head was also stopped tight with suffocating congestion from the forceful stifling, making him feel even more puffy and achy. He found himself unable to breathe any way but through his mouth, which made him cough more, and of course he had to keep a tissue perpetually pressed to his upper lip. In short, he felt all around disgusting. Wrapped up in his own misery, he didn’t realize Tiffani was talking to him until she nudged his shoulder a while later.

“Why are you breathing like a dying fish? You really don’t sound good.”

"Kinda feel like I'mb drowni’g," he slurred. “Cand’t breathe. Too congested.”

“I can see that,” she agreed. “Hm…” she glanced over her shoulder. “Do you want to try to get unplugged? I think sneezing might be better than whatever is happening to you right now.”

He was in no state to make decisions, but she was right, anything had to be better than this, so he nodded sluggishly, wondering what she had in mind. He didn’t have to wonder long, for in a moment she was holding a familiar candle under his nose, the same one that had just been burning. The wax still hadn’t hardened completely.

“Take a deep breath and don’t stifle anymore. Just let it happen.”

He gave her a skeptical look, but took the warm glass jar from her. “You bedder step bagck, then. I dond’t wandt to sndeeze on you.”

She obediently crossed to the other side of the room. When she was out of range, he took a hesitant whiff, nose only inches from the wax.

The results were instantaneous. His nostrils flared, his chest expanded and his breath gasped as he launched into the messiest, wettest sneezing fit he’d ever experienced. The congestion he’d created from stifling was apparently eager to be released, and everything came flying out at an alarming rate at the slightest provocation. He soaked through tissue after tissue as he sneezed and sneezed and sneezed, needing only a few breaths of the candle to keep himself going.

Several minutes later he felt significantly emptier, and at last he allowed the sneezing to taper to a stop with a final, tremendous nose blow. Completely exhausted, he let his throbbing head fall back. His nose was much better, but everything else was worse. He couldn't keep from groaning, both from relief and self-pity.

He felt the couch shift as Tiffani sat down beside him. Her cool hand on his burning face made him moan again as she brushed the damp hair from his forehead.

"Feeling better now?" she murmured.

He made a non-committal noise.

"Poor thing. You are so, so sick honey," she cooed. "You're absolutely burning up. You just rest now. I've got you."

Too tired to resist, when she gently pulled him to lay against her chest, he allowed it. Sitting mostly upright kept him from coughing too much, anyway. He found he was very comfortable this way, especially when he realized she was playing with his hair. In no time, lulled by her soothing touch and soothing breathing and soothing heartbeat, he was fast asleep.

#my writing #the of/fice #sick ry/an how/ard #oc insert #answered asks #prompt fill #thanks for the request. Sorry for the wait. You know the drill #this is kinda gross but I kinda love it #Makes me want to write someone with the kink and inducing in a sexy way #but we'll see if that ever happens #everyone is hotter with a fever #ask box story

16 notes · View notes

aaronstveit · 1 year

Note

jaaaaamie i need book recs pretty please; you know what i like :) (also HOW ARE YOU ILY)

hiiii arwen my beloved!!!! i'm good, how are you? 💛💛

this is truly so much pressure.... i genuinely have five tabs open just to answer this ask, it's that serious. i don't know if you've read some of these but i hope there's at least something on this list you enjoy!!

first things first you can always check out my book recs tag or my goodreads <3 i have an all-time favorites shelf and shelves of my favorites each year if you're interested!

putting the recommendations beneath the cut because this got longggg omg

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand — Young adult, horror, mystery, LGBTQ+. Three teenage girls come together to fight a dark and magical force that has been killing young women on Sawkill Island for decades.

Cover Story by Susan Rigetti — Adult, contemporary, crime. A young woman becomes trapped in a con artist's elaborate web.

To Break a Covenant by Alison Ames — Young adult, paranormal horror, LGBTQ+. A group of close friends investigate the haunted mines beneath their town.

Hangsaman by Shirley Jackson — Coming of age, historical, understated. A young woman leaves home to attend a women's college. (Jamie's note: the summary of this book says it's loosely based on a real-life disappearance. There's no evidence this is true other than the fact that Shirley Jackson lived in the same town as the missing young woman and her husband taught at the college the young woman attended.) This a strange book with little actual plot — it's much more a character study of our main character, Natalie. That said, I really loved this book. It's very fascinating to try to piece together what is really happening in Natalie's life and what is her imagination running away from her as a coping mechanism.

56 Days by Catherine Ryan Howard — Adult, mystery thriller, contemporary. Over the course of 56 days at the very beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, two people go from strangers to living together - and then one of them is murdered. This is one of the strangest and twistiest books I've read in the last few years and I am still not completely sure how to feel about it.

The Woman in the Library by Sulari Gentill — Adult, mystery thriller, story in a story. Four strangers are sitting together at a table in the library when a scream sends the building into lockdown. While they wait to be cleared to leave, the strangers become friends. Later that day, a dead body is found in the library. One of the four characters from the table is the killer. But how, and why? And then, of course, there's the other story.... This book genuinely creeped me out. The dual storylines aren't for everyone but I personally loved it.

Rules for Vanishing by Kate Alice Marshall — Young adult, paranormal horror, LGBTQ+. In the faux-documentary style of The Blair Witch Project comes the campfire story of a missing girl, a vengeful ghost, and the girl who is determined to find her sister—at all costs. A group of teens disappear into the woods in the middle of the night to play a game that will help them find the ghost of a lost girl and the main character's missing sister. I believe my review of this book describes it as "a mindfuck and a half."

The Cartographers by Peng Shepherd — Adult, contemporary fantasy, mystery. A famous cartographer is murdered and his estranged daughter, whose academic reputation he singlehandedly destroyed, begins to investigate his death. This book has rare maps, one of the most original magic systems I've read, second-chance romance, dual storylines (with flashbacks that I found, at times, more interesting than the modern storyline) and a main character named Nell. What isn't to enjoy?

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson — Adult, mystery, humor. A man attends a family reunion at an isolated ski lodge where the members of his family are slowly but surely being murdered. I believe I've recommended this one to you before! It was silly and definitely a love letter to golden age mysteries. A little outrageous at times, but it definitely kept me interested.

Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley — Young adult, mystery, romance. A teenage biracial Native girl witnesses a murder and is thrust into an undercover investigation inside her close-knit community. This book made me cry approximately a billion times. I have my problems with the romance portion, but this book truly blew me away. It's a slow-build that tackles a lot of topics but ultimately I think it does a phenomenal job.

I'm the Girl by Courtney Summers — Young adult, mystery thriller, LGBTQ+. A teenage girl discovers a dead body on the side of the road and quickly finds herself thrown into a world of luxury, opulence, and violence. It's dark and uncomfortable, but it's also a powerful and emotional read. Also includes a nod to Summers' earlier novel, Sadie. (If you haven't read Sadie, I also highly recommend it! Very gripping and dark YA mystery novel.)

Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li — Young adult, crime, contemporary. The story of a group of young Chinese American adults who plan to steal back stolen Chinese art on the dime of a mysterious benefactor. This story is a lot more about the characters and their lives than it is about the heists, so make sure you're ready for that going in. This is a stunning, fast-paced novel with multiple POVs and characters you can't help but love.

Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé — Young adult, mystery thriller, dark academia. Comped as "Get Out meets Gossip Girl," this is the story of (the only) two Black students at a private school with a sinister secret.

The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe — Young adult, thriller, LGBTQ+. Seventeen-year-old Nora, her girlfriend, and her best friend are trapped in a bank while it's being robbed. Or are the robbers trapped in the bank with Nora?

The Dead and the Dark by Courtney Gould — Young adult, paranormal horror, LGBTQ+. A book about a small town, the things that lurk in the dark, and two teenage girls who team up to discover what is haunting their home and killing their friends.

Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu — Graphic novel, sports, LGBTQ+. This series follows Eric Bittle, a gay hockey player at a liberal arts college. There are few series that hold as special a place in my heart as this one. It's got found family, a cast of the most lovable characters you'll ever meet, baking, vlogging, romance, and more. Just writing this recommendation makes me wanna reread right now.

Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales — Young adult, romance, LGBTQ+. A teenage girl who sells love advice anonymously is hired by a classmate to help him win back his girlfriend. This book is for the bisexuals. It's also probably my favorite YA romance in the world.

okay this is getting out of hand so i'm gonna end it here. i hope there's something here that you enjoy <3333 and i also hope you haven't read all of these because that would be so awkward </3 anyway ilysm arwen!!! 💕💗

Trigger warnings: (Preface to the trigger warnings: I'm listing these a while out from reading them so these lists may be incomplete, I recommend checking out reviews as well to get a more complete picture.)

Sawkill Girls: murder, death of a parent, death of a sibling, grief, grooming, body horror, child abuse and neglect, suicidal ideation, misogyny

Cover Story: car accident

To Break a Covenant: death, loss of a loved one, gore, animal death, mention of suicide attempt, child abandonment

Hangsaman: implied sexual assault, misogyny

56 Days: murder, suicide, death of a loved one

The Woman in the Library: murder, mentions of sexual assault, stalking

Rules for Vanishing: death, loss of a loved one, murder

The Cartographers: murder, death of a loved one, fire

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone: murder, death of a loved one, death of a child, drowning

Firekeeper's Daughter: murder, suicide, rape, drug use and addiction, gun violence, grief, kidnapping, racism, misogyny

I'm the Girl: Murder, sexual assault, grooming, death of a loved one, grief, suicide

Portrait of a Thief: generational trauma, colonialism

Ace of Spades: racism, homophobia, stalking, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, murder, car accident, forced outing, bullying, panic attacks, gun violence

The Girls I've Been: listed by the author here

The Dead and the Dark: murder, drowning, major character death, homophobia, hate crimes, grief

Check, Please!: homophobia, anxiety, overdose, sports-related injuries, sports-related violence, internalized biphobia, bullying

Perfect on Paper: biphobia, underage drinking, divorce, cheating

#<333333 #mutual: arwen #answered #love letters only💛#book recs

8 notes · View notes

welcometojackass2022 · 2 years

Note

oh god @ the poly anon…. imagining bam being a total cuck w reader gf and watching ryan fuck her 🥲

WAIT BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY NOT THAT FAR FETCHED…I could see bam being a cuck with either Ryan or Brandon Novak. In fact, Bam was on the Howard Stern show with his wife at the time Missy and with Novak and Novak mentioned that Bam wanted him to eat Missy out while Bam watched or something along those lines (Novak didn’t do it cuz he said it was too weird for him) so I could totally see Bam wanting one of his friends to fuck his girlfriend in front of him

15 notes · View notes

lingeringscars · 2 years

Note

i think i successfully bullied you into writing everyone i think you should already, so i'm throwing muses at you you don't even know (this is my way of bullying you into finding out who they are): elton from wb (actually maybe i just think him and ryan would be besties, but regardless), connie / enid / siddiq from twd.

some you do know for fun: august from t100 prequel (imagine the freedom), jr our beloved, grace from 911 lone star (idk if you've watched that one but<3)

the day i watch wb for you is the day u know it has all worked. but ugh u know connie and enid i’m already eyes about based off gifsets. also bc sisters in connies case. siddiq is your beloved and i care him based on One set who knows!

i truly don’t remember anything about august was that leo howards character that people shipped with callie even tho i was like but she’s a lesbian? dsfdgdsg. THE WAY I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA WRITE JR AND THEN THEA TOOK OVER MY ENTIRE BRAIN. maybe <3 you didn’t say keisha but as this season progresses maybe her too <3 and i already messaged u about grace my absolute beloved.

#doomdays #icb after all these years i'm gonna watch t/wd things

4 notes · View notes

xtruss · 2 months

Text

Why Did More Than 1,000 People Die After Police Subdued Them With Force That Isn’t Meant To Kill?

— In Partnership With: Associated Press (AP)

— March 28, 2024 | Frontline | NOBA — PBS

This combination of photos shows, top row from left, Anthony Timpa, Austin Hunter Turner, Carl Grant, Damien Alvarado, Delbert McNiel and Demetrio Jackson; second row from left, Drew Edwards, Evan Terhune, Giovani Berne, Glenn Ybanez, Ivan Gutzalenko and Mario Clark; bottom row from left, Michael Guillory, Robbin McNeely, Seth Lucas, Steven Bradley Beasley, Taylor Ware and Terrell "Al" Clark. Each died after separate encounters with police in which officers used force that is not supposed to be deadly. (AP Photo)

Carl Grant, a Vietnam veteran with dementia, wandered out of a hospital room to charge a cellphone he imagined he had. When he wouldn’t sit still, the police officer escorting Grant body-slammed him, ricocheting the patient’s head off the floor.

Taylor Ware, a former Marine and aspiring college student, walked the grassy grounds of an interstate rest stop trying to shake the voices in his head. After Ware ran from an officer, he was attacked by a police dog, jolted by a stun gun, pinned on the ground and injected with a sedative.

And Donald Ivy Jr., a former three-sport athlete, left an ATM alone one night when officers sized him up as suspicious and tried to detain him. Ivy took off, and police tackled and shocked him with a stun gun, belted him with batons and held him facedown.

Each man was unarmed. Each was not a threat to public safety. And despite that, each died after police used a kind of force that is not supposed to be deadly — and can be much easier to hide than the blast of an officer’s gun.

Every day, police rely on common tactics that, unlike guns, are meant to stop people without killing them, such as physical holds, Tasers and body blows. But when misused, these tactics can still end in death — as happened with George Floyd in 2020, sparking a national reckoning over policing. And while that encounter was caught on video, capturing Floyd’s last words of “I can’t breathe,” many others throughout the United States have escaped notice.

Over a decade, more than 1,000 people died after police subdued them through means not intended to be lethal, an investigation led by The Associated Press found. In hundreds of cases, officers weren’t taught or didn’t follow best safety practices for physical force and weapons, creating a recipe for death.

This story is part of an ongoing investigation led by The Associated Press in collaboration with the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism programs and FRONTLINE (PBS). The investigation includes the Lethal Restraint interactive story, database and the documentary, Documenting Police Use Of Force, premiering April 30 on PBS.

These sorts of deadly encounters happened just about everywhere, according to an analysis of a database AP created. Big cities, suburbs and rural America. Red states and blue states. Restaurants, assisted-living centers and, most commonly, in or near the homes of those who died. The deceased came from all walks of life — a poet, a nurse, a saxophone player in a mariachi band, a truck driver, a sales director, a rodeo clown and even a few off-duty law enforcement officers.

Explore: Lethal Restraint

The toll, however, disproportionately fell on Black Americans like Grant and Ivy. Black people made up a third of those who died despite representing only 12% of the U.S. population. Others feeling the brunt were impaired by a medical, mental health or drug emergency, a group particularly susceptible to force even when lightly applied.

“We were robbed,” said Carl Grant’s sister, Kathy Jenkins, whose anger has not subsided four years later. “It’s like somebody went in your house and just took something, and you were violated.”

AP’s three-year investigation was done in collaboration with the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism programs at the University of Maryland and Arizona State University, and FRONTLINE (PBS). The AP and its partners focused on local police, sheriff’s deputies and other officers patrolling the streets or responding to dispatch calls. Reporters filed nearly 7,000 requests for government documents and body-camera footage, receiving more than 700 autopsy reports or death certificates, and uncovering video in at least four dozen cases that has never been published or widely distributed.

Medical officials cited law enforcement as causing or contributing to about half of the deaths. In many others, significant police force went unmentioned and drugs or preexisting health conditions were blamed instead.

Video in a few dozen cases showed some officers mocked people as they died, laughing or making comments such as “sweaty little hog,” “screaming like a little girl” and “lazy f—.” In other cases, officers expressed clear concern for the people they were subduing.

The federal government has struggled for years to count deaths following what police call “less-lethal force,” and the little information it collects is often kept from the public and highly incomplete at best. No more than a third of the cases the AP identified are listed in federal mortality data as involving law enforcement at all.

When force came, it could be sudden and extreme, the AP investigation found. Other times, the force was minimal, and yet the people nevertheless died, sometimes from a drug overdose or a combination of factors.

In about 30% of the cases, police were intervening to stop people who were injuring others or who posed a threat of danger. But roughly 25% of those who died were not harming anyone or, at most, were committing low-level infractions or causing minor disturbances, AP’s review of cases shows. The rest involved other nonviolent situations with people who, police said, were trying to resist arrest or flee.

A Texas man loitering outside a convenience store who resisted going to jail was shocked up to 11 times with a Taser and restrained facedown for nearly 22 minutes — more than twice as long as George Floyd, previously unreported video shows. After a California man turned silent during questioning, he was grabbed, dogpiled by seven officers, shocked five times with a Taser, wrapped in a restraint contraption and injected with a sedative by a medic despite complaining “I can’t breathe.” And a Michigan teen was speeding an all-terrain vehicle down a city street when a state trooper sent volts of excruciating electricity from a Taser through him, and he crashed.

In hundreds of cases, officers repeated errors that experts and trainers have spent years trying to eliminate — perhaps none more prevalent than how they held someone facedown in what is known as prone restraint.

Many policing experts agree that someone can stop breathing if pinned on their chest for too long or with too much weight, and the Department of Justice has issued warnings to that effect since 1995. But with no standard national rules, what police are taught is often left to the states and individual departments. In dozens of cases, officers disregarded people who told them they were struggling for air or even about to die, often uttering the words, “I can’t breathe.”

What followed deadly encounters revealed how the broader justice system frequently works to shield police from scrutiny, often leaving families to grieve without knowing what really happened.

Officers were usually cleared by their departments in internal investigations. Some had a history of violence and a few were involved in multiple restraint deaths. Local and state authorities that investigate deaths also withheld information and in some cases omitted potentially damaging details from reports.

One of the last hopes for accountability from inside the system — what are known as death opinions — also often exonerated officers. The medical examiners and coroners who decide on these did not link hundreds of the deaths to force, but instead to accidents, drug use or preexisting health problems, sometimes relying on debunked science or incomplete studies from sources tied to law enforcement.

Even when these deaths receive the homicide label that fatal police shootings often get, prosecutors rarely pursue officers. Charging police is politically sensitive and can be legally fraught, and the AP investigation identified just 28 deaths that led to such charges. Finding accountability through civil courts was also tough for families, but at least 168 cases ended in settlements or jury verdicts totaling about $374 million.

The known fatalities still averaged just two a week — a tiny fraction of the total contacts police have with the population. Police leaders, officers and experts say law enforcement shouldn’t bear all the blame. As the social safety net frays, people under mental distress or who use stimulant drugs like cocaine or methamphetamine are increasingly on the streets. Officers sent to handle these emergencies are often poorly trained by their departments.

If incidents turn chaotic and officers make split-second decisions to use force, “people do die,” said Peter Moskos, a professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice and former Baltimore police officer.

“The only way to get down to zero is to get rid of policing,” Moskos said, “and that’s not going to save lives either.”

But because the United States has no clear idea how many people die like this and why, holding police accountable and making meaningful reforms will remain difficult, said Dr. Roger Mitchell Jr., a leader in the push to improve tracking and one of the nation’s few Black chief medical examiners when he held the office in Washington, D.C., from 2014 to 2021.

“Any time anyone dies before their day in court, or dies in an environment where the federal government or the local government’s job is to take care of you,” he said, “it needs transparency. It cannot be in the dark of night.”

“This,” he added, “is an American problem we need to solve.”

Those Who Died

Carl Grant didn’t care much for football. So on Super Bowl Sunday in 2020, family members said, he eased into his black Kia Optima, intending to shop for groceries near his suburban Atlanta home. The 68-year-old wound up 2½ hours away, where he came face to face with police in an encounter that underscores several findings central to AP’s investigation: He was Black, he was not threatening physical harm, and a seemingly routine matter rapidly escalated.

The former Marine and trucking business owner had dementia and qualified as a disabled veteran. As he drove that evening, he became disoriented and took an interstate west to Birmingham, Alabama. There, Grant twice tried to go inside houses he thought were his.

In the family photo on the left, Carl Grant prepares to cook in the home he shared with his partner, Ronda Hernandez, in Redlands, Calif., circa 2000. The family photo on the right shows Carl Grant and his partner, Ronda Hernandez, and her children, Michael and Michelle, in a friend’s backyard in California in the mid-1990s. (Family Photo via AP; Ronda Hernandez via AP)

Both times, residents phoned 911. And both times, responding officers opted to use force.

At the first house, Grant was taken to the ground and cuffed after an officer said he’d stepped toward a partner. Even though one officer sensed he was impaired, police released Grant without asking medics to examine him — a decision a superior later faulted.

At a second house about a half-mile away, police found him sitting in a porch chair. When he didn’t follow an order to get off the porch, a different officer pushed him down the stairs, according to previously unreleased body-camera video. Grant gashed his forehead in the fall.

Officer Vincent Larry, who pushed Grant, went with him to the hospital. When Grant wouldn’t return to his exam room, Larry used an unapproved “hip toss” to lift and slam him, hospital surveillance video showed. The back of Grant’s head bounced four inches off the floor, a nurse estimated, wrecking his spinal cord in his neck.

After Grant awoke from emergency surgery, he thought his paralysis was a combat injury from the Vietnam War. “I’m so sorry this happened,” he told family, his sister recalled. He died almost six months later from the injury.

An internal investigation concluded Larry’s force at the hospital was excessive, and in a departure from many other cases AP found, his department acted: he received a 15-day suspension. He is no longer a city employee, a Birmingham spokesperson told AP. Neither Larry nor the department would comment. A judge recently cited a procedural error in dismissing a lawsuit filed by Grant’s estate, which is appealing the ruling.

“He’s almost 70 and confused,” Grant’s partner, Ronda Hernandez, said. “That’s what I don’t get. You just don’t do that to old people.”

Grant was one of 1,036 deaths from 2012 through 2021 that AP logged. That is certainly an undercount, because many departments blocked access to information. Files that others released were blacked out and video blurred, while officers routinely used vague language in their reports that glossed over force.

All but 3% of the dead were men. They tended to be in their 30s and 40s, when police might consider them more of a physical threat. The youngest was just 15, the oldest 95.

In sheer numbers, white people of non-Hispanic descent were the largest group, making up more than 40% of cases. Hispanics were just under 20% of those killed. But Black Americans were hit especially hard.

The disproportionate representation of Black people tracks research findings that they face higher rates and severity of force, and even deaths. The Department of Justice has found after multiple investigations that Black people accounted for more unjustified stops for minor offenses, illegal searches that produced no contraband, unnecessary force, or arrests without probable cause.

Researchers caution that proving — or disproving — discrimination can be hard because of a lack of information. But in some cases AP identified, officers were accused of profiling and stopping Black people based on suspicions, as happened to Donald “Dontay” Ivy Jr.

A demonstrator holds a sign in support of Donald "Dontay" Ivy during a rally outside Albany District Attorney David Soares' office in Albany, N.Y., on Monday, Aug. 10, 2015. Ivy was cooperative when police stopped him, but, they said, he wouldn’t answer how much money he had withdrawn from an ATM and denied a prior arrest. Police interpreted Ivy’s behavior as deceptive. What they didn’t grasp was that Ivy suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. After an officer touched Ivy to detain him, Ivy fled. Officers caught up and beat him with batons, shocked him several times with a Taser, put him facedown and got on top of him.

A demonstrator holds a sign in support of Donald “Dontay” Ivy Jr. during a rally outside Albany District Attorney David Soares’ office in Albany, N.Y., on Monday, Aug. 10, 2015. (Will Waldron/The Albany Times Union via AP)

Ivy was a 39-year-old resident of Albany, New York, who excelled in basketball during high school, served in the U.S. Navy and graduated college with a business degree. On a freezing night in 2015, he went to an ATM to check whether a delayed disability deposit had posted. Officers thought he seemed suspicious because he was walking with a lean and only one hand in the pocket of his “puffer” coat — indications, they thought, he might have a gun or drugs.

Ivy was cooperative when they stopped him, but, they said, he wouldn’t answer how much money he had withdrawn and denied a prior arrest. Police interpreted Ivy’s behavior as deceptive without grasping that Ivy suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. A witness recounted that Ivy seemed “slow” when he spoke.

When an officer touched Ivy to detain him — a known trigger for some with severe mental illness — police say Ivy began to resist. An officer fired a Taser, then Ivy fled. Officers caught up and beat him with batons, shocked him several more times with a Taser, put him facedown and got on top of him. By the time they rolled Ivy over, he’d stopped breathing.

The department quickly ruled that the officers acted appropriately and blamed a “medical crisis” for his death, even though it was classified a homicide. A grand jury declined to indict. However, the local prosecutor urged police to review policies for Tasers, batons and dealing with people with mental illness.

The local chapter of the New York Civil Liberties Union continued to question the stop, saying there was “strong reason to suspect” Ivy was racially profiled. After years in court, the city paid $625,000 to settle with Ivy’s estate. His cousin and close friend Chamberlain Guthrie said the way Ivy’s life ended was one of the most painful things his family had endured.

“It’d be one thing if Dontay was out here being a ruffian and he was a thug,” Guthrie said. “But he was none of that.”

When Force Goes Wrong

When people died after police subdued them, it was often because officers went too fast, too hard or for too long — many times, all of the above.

The United States has no national rules for how exactly to apply force. Instead, Supreme Court decisions set broad guard rails that weigh force as either “objectively reasonable” or “excessive,” based in part on the severity of the situation, any immediate safety threat and active resistance.

That frequently leaves states and local law enforcement to sort out the particulars in training and policies. Best practices from the government and private law enforcement organizations have tried to fill gaps, but aren’t mandatory and sometimes go ignored, as happened in hundreds of cases reviewed by AP and its partners.

Tom Ware holds photos of his son, Taylor Ware, on his phone in Kansas City, Mo., Tuesday, June 6, 2023. The aspiring college student and former Marine died after a violent encounter with police during a manic episode caused by bipolar disorder. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

In 2019, the mother of Taylor Ware, the former Marine with college plans, called 911 when he wouldn’t get back in their SUV during a manic episode caused by bipolar disorder. She told the dispatcher Ware would need space and urged police to wait for backup because he was a former wrestler and might be a handful — advice that tracked best practices, yet wasn’t followed.

The first officer to encounter Ware at a highway rest stop in Indiana saw the 24-year-old extending him a hand in greeting. Ware then calmly walked through a grassy field and sat down with folded legs.

The officer, an unpaid reserve marshal, assured Ware’s mother he’d had calls like this before. As she and a family friend watched, he stopped about 10 feet in front of Ware, according to video filmed by the friend and obtained by AP. His police dog barked and lunged several times — a provocation officers are told to avoid with the emotionally distressed. Ware remained seated.

After a few minutes, Ware walked toward the parking lot. There, the officer said, Ware pushed him away, a split-second act disputed by the friend. Her video shows Ware running and the officer commanding the dog to attack, setting off a cascade of force that ended with Ware in a coma. He died three days later.

In the left-hand image from video provided by a family friend, Taylor Ware, left, sits in a field approached by a police officer and canine at a highway rest stop in Dale, Ind., on August 25, 2019. In the right-hand image, Ware is restrained by law enforcement and emergency medical personnel. (Pauline Engel via AP)

A police news release said Ware had a “medical event,” an explanation that echoes how police first described George Floyd’s death. The prosecutor in Indiana declined to bring charges and praised officers for “incredible patience and restraint.” His office’s letter brushed past or left out key details: multiple dog bites, multiple stun-gun shocks, prone restraint and an injection of the powerful sedative ketamine.

In dozens of other cases identified by AP, people who died were given sedatives without consent, sometimes after officers urged paramedics to use them — a recommendation law enforcement is unqualified to make.

A coroner ruled Ware’s death was due to natural causes, specifically “excited delirium” — a term for a condition that police say causes potentially life-threatening agitation, rapid heart rate and other symptoms. Major medical groups oppose it as a diagnosis, however, and say it is frequently an attempt to justify excessive force.

“It was like that was his body’s own fault, that it wasn’t the police’s fault,” Ware’s sister, Briana Garton, said of the autopsy ruling.

Two experts who reviewed the case for the AP said police actions — such as the order for the dog to attack, the use of a Taser in the sternum and restraint facedown with handcuffs and back pressure — contributed to Ware’s death.

“This was not proper service,” said police practices expert Stan Kephart, himself a former chief. “This person should be alive today.”

As with Ware, officers resorted to force in roughly 25% of the cases even though the circumstances weren’t imminently dangerous. Many began as routine calls that other officers have, time and again, resolved safely. Those included medical emergencies phoned in by families, friends or the person who died.

By launching prematurely into force, police introduced violence and volatility, and in turn needed to use more weapons, holds or restraints to regain control — a phenomenon known as “officer-created jeopardy.” Sometimes it starts when police misread as defiance someone’s confusion, intoxication or inability to communicate due to a medical issue.

What led up to the force was sometimes unclear. In more than 100 cases, police either withheld key details or witnesses disputed the officer’s account — and body-camera footage didn’t exist to add clarity. But in about 45% of cases, officers became physical after they said someone tried to evade them or resist arrest for nonviolent circumstances. Some sprinted away with drugs, for example, or simply flailed their arms to resist handcuffs or wiggled around while held down.

Many times the way officers subdued people broke policing best practices, especially when using the go-to tools of restraining people facedown and shocking them with Tasers.

When done properly, placing someone on their stomach or shocking them is not inherently life-threatening. But there are risks: Prone restraint can compress the lungs and put stress on the heart, and Taser’s maker has issued warnings against repeated shocks or targeting the body near the heart. These risks intensify when safety protocols aren’t followed or when people with mental illness, the elderly or those on stimulant drugs are involved.

Some officers involved in fatalities testified they had been assured that prone position was never deadly, AP found, while many others were trained to roll people onto their sides to aid breathing and simply failed to do so.

“If you’re talking, you’re breathing, bro,” an officer, repeating a common myth about prone restraint, told a Florida man following 12 shocks from stun guns.

“Stomach is (an) ideal place for them to be. It’s harder for them to punch me,” testified an officer in the death of a Minnesota man found sleeping at a grocery store and restrained for more than 30 minutes.

In dozens of police or witness videos, those who died began to fade on screen, their breathing becoming shallow, as happened in suburban San Diego to 56-year-old Oral Nunis.

Nunis was having a mental break at his daughter’s apartment in 2020. He had calmed down, but then the first arriving officer grabbed his arm, a mere four seconds after making eye contact. Nunis begged to go without being handcuffed. The officer persisted. Nunis became agitated and ran outside.

At 5 feet, 5 inches tall and 146 pounds, Nunis quickly found himself pinned by several officers — each at least 80 pounds heavier than him. Although his body turned still, they kept pressing, wrapped him in a full-body restraint device and put a spit mask on him. From just 10 feet away, his daughter tried to console him in his final minutes: “Daddy, just breathe.”

In the left-hand image from Chula Vista Police Department body-camera video, an officer approaches Oral Nunis, 56, with handcuffs. In the right-hand image, officers restrain Nunis after he ran out of his daughter’s California apartment in 2020. (Chula Vista Police Department via AP)

The district attorney’s office later cleared the police, calling their force reasonable because Nunis had posed “unnaturally strong resistance” for his size.

As part of the family’s lawsuit, two pathologists concluded that the restraint officers used led to his death. One officer was asked under oath if pressure on someone’s back could impair breathing. “I have had several bodies on top of me during different training scenarios,” the 6-foot, 265-pound officer said, “and I never had difficulty breathing.”

The use of Tasers can be similarly misinformed. An officer shocked Stanley Downen, 77, a former ironworker with Alzheimer’s disease who served during the Korean War, as he wandered the grounds of his veterans’ home in Columbia Falls, Montana. The electricity locked up his body and made him fall without control of his limbs. He hit his head on the pavement and later died.

The officer said under oath that he hadn’t read any warnings, including those from Taser manufacturer Axon Enterprise Inc., about the risks of shocking the elderly or people who could be injured if they fell. He testified that Downen was “armed with rocks,” but a witness told police Downen never raised his hands to throw them. The police chief cleared the officer, though a police expert hired by the family found he failed to follow accepted practices.

In about 30% of deaths that AP logged, civilians and officers faced potential or clear danger, extenuating circumstances that meant police didn’t always follow best practices. In about 170 of those cases, officers said a person charged, swung or lunged at them, or police arrived to find people holding someone down after a fight. In the other roughly 110 cases, police were trying to stop violent attacks against others, including officers.

There was a Kansas man who used his elderly mother as a shield when deputies arrived. And there was a 41-year-old concrete mason in Minnesota who choked and punched his adult daughter before grabbing an officer by the throat and pushing her into a window.

In one of the most violent encounters, three officers in Cohasset, Massachusetts, confronted Erich Stelzer, a 6-foot-6-inch bodybuilder who was stabbing his date so viciously that the walls were red with her blood.

In this photo provided by the Cohasset Police Department, Maegan Ball, second right, stands with, from left, Officer Aaron Bates, Officer Alexander Stotik, and Detective Lt. Gregory Lennon in Cohasset, Mass., on Dec. 27, 2019. (Cohasset Police Department via AP)

Rather than fire their pistols that night in 2018, two of the officers used their Tasers and managed to handcuff Stelzer, 25, as he thrashed on the floor. Stelzer stopped breathing, and the officers could not revive him. The local prosecutor determined they had handled the situation appropriately and would have been justified in shooting Stelzer because he presented a lethal threat.

While the officers were relieved to have saved the woman’s life, they also wrestled with killing a man despite doing their best to avoid it.

“As the time went by after the incident, you know, it wasn’t lost on me that he was someone’s son, someone’s brother,” Detective Lt. Gregory Lennon said. ��And I’m sorry that he died. You know, it wasn’t our intention.”

Lack of Accountability

Understanding how and why people die after force can be difficult. Information is often scarce or government at all levels won’t share what it has.

In 2000, Congress started trying to get the Justice Department to track deaths involving law enforcement. The department has acknowledged its data is incomplete, blames spotty reporting from police departments, and does not make whatever information exists publicly available.

Mortality data maintained by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also has gaps. The AP found that when a death certificate does not list words like “police” and “law enforcement,” the CDC’s language-reading software doesn’t label the death as involving “legal intervention.” This means the death data flagged police involvement in, at most, 34% of the more than 1,000 deaths the investigation identified.

Among the mislabeled deaths is that of Daniel Prude, a 41-year-old Black man. He died in 2020 while restrained and covered with a spit hood in Rochester, New York. The high-profile incident was caught on video, but while his death certificate noted “physical restraint,” it made no direct mention of police.

The CDC recognizes the data undercounts police-involved deaths, but says it wasn’t primarily intended to flag them. Staff lack the time or resources to corroborate death certificate details, officials said.

In 2017, leading pathologists recommended adding a checkbox to the U.S. standard death certificate to identify deaths involving law enforcement — as is already done with tobacco use and pregnancy. They argued better data could help inform better practices and prevent deaths. However, the proposal hasn’t gained traction.

“This is a long-standing, not-very-secret secret about the problem here: We know very little,” said Georgetown University law professor Christy Lopez, who until 2017 led the Justice Department office that investigates law enforcement agencies over excessive force.

Meanwhile, laws in states like Pennsylvania, Alabama and Delaware block the release of most, if not all, information. And in other places, such as Iowa, departments can choose what they wish to release, even to family members like Sandra Jones.

Jones’ husband, Brian Hays, 56, had battled an addiction to painkillers since injuring his shoulder at a factory job. She last saw him alive one September night in 2015 after he called 911 because his mental health and methamphetamine use was making him delusional. Officers who arrived at their home in Muscatine, Iowa, ordered her to leave.

The next morning, a hospital contacted Jones to say Hays was there. As Hays was on life support, doctors told her that he had several Taser marks on his body and scrapes on his face and knees, she recalled. Neighbors also said they had seen Hays run out of the house, clad only in boxer shorts, and make it around the corner before officers caught him.

When Jones set out to unravel what happened, she said, police wouldn’t hand over their reports. A detective later told her officers had shocked Hays and tied his feet before he went into cardiac arrest. She couldn’t glean why that much force was necessary.

In time, Jones managed to get the autopsy report from the medical examiner’s office, confirming the force and a struggle. But an attorney told her winning a lawsuit to pry out more information was unlikely. Hays’ death didn’t even make the local news.

“All I know is, something terrible happened that night,” she said. “I have pictured him laying on that cement road more times than I can tell you. I picture him there, struggling to breathe.”

This Is How Reporters Documented 1,000 Deaths After Police Force That Isn’t Supposed To Be Fatal! Some of the documents obtained during the Lethal Restraint investigation by The Associated Press in collaboration with the Howard Centers for Investigative Journalism and FRONTLINE (PBS) are photographed in New York on Wednesday, March 27, 2024. (AP Photo/Patrick Sison)

— Reese Dunklin, Investigative Reporter, The Associated Press

— Ryan J. Foley, Reporter, The Associated Press

— Jeff Martin, Breaking News Reporter, The Associated Press

— Jennifer McDermott, Reporter, The Associated Press

— Holbrook Mohr, National Investigative Reporter, The Associated Press

— John Seewer, Reporter, The Associated Press

#Frontline #NOVA | PBS #Police Brutality #Use of Prohibited 🚫 Excessive Force #Associated Press (AP)

1 note · View note

jevaisjeviens · 9 months

Text

Mais headcannons do Ryan x Leitora/reader

Parte 1 | Parte 2 | Parte 3

Vocês se mudam juntos

ele está um pouco preocupado sobre a própria individualidade;

impulsivamente, em uma noite de bebedeira, ele declarou que vocês deveriam morar juntos, e depois não conseguiu voltar atrás;

ele se sente estúpido por duvidar da própria ideia, mas é porque ele é muito medroso em relação a se comprometer, e cada nova fase é que ele enfrenta é difícil;

ele começa a ficar mais de boa quando vocês visitam um apartamento exatamente como nos sonhos dele: algo moderno e pequeno;

no dia da mudança, ele já está bem mais animado e se oferece para passar na sua casa e pegar as suas caixas;

ele faz um pouco de corpo mole na hora de desembalar tudo;

quando vocês já estão instalados no novo apê, ele resolve se meter a cozinhar e te pede ajuda para fazer o jantar;

a comida não fica muito boa, mas você fica feliz porque ele tentou.

O apartamento

você é o despertador de Ryan todas as manhãs;

algumas poucas vezes para te agradar ele acorda antes e prepara algo simples para você comer;

ele preza pela própria individualidade, então ele passa a maior parte do tempo jogando videogame ou trabalhando em seu próprio site;

algumas vezes, quando ele faz uma pausa em suas coisas, ele vai verificar se você está na sala e te dá um beijo na boca do nada;

você sempre cozinha, e mesmo contra-gosto, ele sempre lava a louça;

"hoje é o seu dia de tirar o lixo"

algumas vezes, ele apenas não está afim de saber sobre o seu dia, mas ele vai ouvir mesmo assim;

em alguns dias ele diz que vai sair e demora para voltar, mas é apenas porque ele quer mesmo passar um tempo sozinho em algum bar ou café - ele não está te traíndo e você sabe disso.

Você teve um pesadelo

"Gatinha? Você está bem?"

ele está realmente assustado com você acordar gritando;

ele te faz deitar no colo dele até dormir novamente, mas acaba dormindo antes de você;

na manhã seguinte, ele se lembrará disso e vai perguntar sobre o que era o seu pesadelo.

Ele teve um pesadelo

Ryan externaliza totalmente seus medos quanto aos pesadelos que tem;

ele procura afeto em você porque se sente apavorado;

ele vai descrever o sonho nos mínimos detalhes;

ele vai pedir beijos para se distrair, mas você sabe onde isso vai acabar.

Pegação

Ryan tem um bom autocontrole e ele usa disso para te provocar (muito);

"já está assim, gatinha?"

ele te dá beijos cada vez mais quentes e lentos e sabe exatamente onde estão os seus pontos fracos;

ele quer dominar e tem um ego enorme a ser preenchido, então quer sempre te satisfazer em primeiro lugar;

na maioria das vezes, é ele quem começa a passar a mão em você;

ele gosta MESMO de beijar, então está sempre te beijando na hora do sexo ou não;

algumas vezes, ele quer apenas te beijar de forma quente, mas não quer ir adiante;

ele vai te fazer implorar por ele porque gosta de se sentir desejado;

"eu preciso de você em cima de mim agora"

mensagens quentes no meio do trabalho para que você se prepare para quando chegarem em casa.

Você está insegura com a sua aparência

Ryan não entende nada disso;

ele acha que você não deveria externalizar suas inseguranças;

tudo que ele pode fazer é te dizer o quanto te acha sexy e gostosa;

ele realmente NÃO entende porque você se sente insegura, já que, para ele, você é a mulher mais bonita do mundo.

Casamento

vai demorar, mas após os 30 anos, ele vai dar o braço a torcer. se o relacionamento de vocês durou todo esse tempo, então ele acha que vocês podem se casar;

você vai ter que ser paciente, porque Ryan dá um passo de cada vez e são passos lentos e bem espaçados - ele REALMENTE tem medo de copromisso e de tudo dar simplesmente errado;

o pedido não é planejado. um dia ele olha para você na cama, com o cabelo bagunçado, cantarolando alguma música do Radiohead enquanto lê um livro e solta um: deveríamos nos casar;

ele compra um anel de noivado não muito caro, mas elegante, e dessa vez ele vai levar flores também, pela primeira vez;

ele conta para literalmente TODO mundo que vocês estão noivos e aprecia a expressão de choque das pessoas;

ele não quer que ninguém da empresa seja padrinho ou madrinha, mas não vai contra quando você convida a Erin ou a Pam para serem madrinhas;

"precisamos MESMO convidar todos os nossos colegas de serviço, gatinha?"

ele não está muito engajado em planejar, mas aprova ou desaprova as ideias que você apresenta à ele;

"não esquece da nossa lua de mel em vegas. eu não abro mão disso"

ele escolhe uma data perto porque tem um medo interno de mudar de ideia;

alguns dias antes do casamento ele está tão ansioso que acha que vai morrer;

(continua)

#ryan howard x reader #the office #ryan howard #ryan the office #imagine ryan #imagine ryan howard #imagine ryan the office #headcannons

15 notes · View notes

ryanhamiltonwalsh · 5 months

Text

2023 Creative Work

It goes without question that the thing I worked on the most this year was DECK—the 52 song, 4 Album project coming in late 2024 from Hallelujah The Hills—but as I put this list together I was surprised how much else I managed to make this year. Some of it, like the Morphine liner notes, had been finished for over a year, but most of it was all produced and released in 2023. I am so truly grateful to be able to continue to follow my curiosity and imagination, create so many things both alone and with my friends, and have interested listeners and readers following it all. It's a dream. Thank you.

Writing

Morphine liner notes for Light in the Attic Records' reissues of Like Swimming and The Night

Convo with Jeremy Gaudet from Kiwi JR. — The Believer music issue

Bob Dylan: Boston 1963 — The Boston Globe

Teenage Jonathan Richman and Boston’s “Spiritual Sparkplug”

The Velvet Underground's 1st show in Boston

Pet Sounds heard as ad speak that breaks down

Music

Alone in Love — new Hills single from forthcoming DECK

DECK Patreon — 26 cover songs including three public songs: "Massachusetts" "What's So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding" and "Auld Lang Syne"

Audio Interviews

- Camper Can Calethoven podcast (20 episodes on the DECK Patreon with Leeore Schnairsohn and Evan Sicuranza)

- Light in the Attic podcast: Morphine episode

- The Believer Radio Hour - co-DJ with Kiwi JR’s Jeremy Gaudet

- Author/Musician rountable with Vashti Bunyan and Howard Fishman

- Revolutions Per Movie podcast - SEP 2023

---

Photos

Meeting Robert Pollard, a hero of mine (photo by Rich Turiel)

(Top to Bottom, left to right: 1) Hills with Eyelids, New Haven, CT 2) Hills eat chicken wings after 1st DECK recording session, Portland, ME 3) me and Hills drummer Ryan Connelly with The Hold Steady after I interviewed them live on stage at the Newport Folk Festival 4) me and Tanya Donelly after she recorded her guest vocal for a DECK song 5) me and Ry-Con prepare to record a bar choir at the Brendan Behan Pub in Jamaica Plain, MA 6) Ezra Furman and I after recording her vocals for a DECK song at Puritan Garage 7) on the Sinclair marquee 8) The Morphine reissue dream team, names and thanks found here. 9) Hills live 12/15/23 at The Sinclair, photo by Ben Stas.

And lastly, because someone always asks, here's a link to this list for the previous year.

See you soon. XO

1 note · View note

marypicken · 9 months

Text

The Trap by Catherine Ryan Howard @TransworldBooks

Catherine Ryan Howard brings her considerable characterisation skills to bear, creating a clever, twisted and chilling plot that left me, as ever, impressed by her skill and imagination.

Source: Review copyPublication: 17 August 2023 from Bantam PressPP: 380ISBN-13: 978-1787636606 My thanks to Bantam Press for an advance copy for review Stranded on a dark road in the middle of the night, a young woman accepts a lift from a passing stranger. It’s the nightmare scenario that every girl is warned about, and she knows the dangers all too well – but what other choice does she…

View On WordPress

#bookreview #booktwitter #TheTrap

0 notes

mirandamckenni1 · 10 months

Video

youtube

Liked on YouTube: Why We Secretly Want the World to End || https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVe4Fju0P0 || We're kind of obsessed with the end of the world. But why? Let's investigate the apocalypse, and see what we can learn about ourselves, the world, and the power of hope. 00:00 - Intro 05:36 - Defining the Apocalypse 11:01 - The Myth of Apocalyptic Thinking 17:34 - The Myth of Preppers 24:30 - The Myth of Human Nature 37:22 - The Other Myth 44:04 - Three Ways to Change the World 58:29 - Conclusion 01:01:38 - Outro & Poem Human Restoration Project Resources: ------ Website: https://ift.tt/Nre4F2C ------ Conference Site: https://ift.tt/4bjtgGR ------ Educational Resources: https://ift.tt/DyUZ7rq ------ YouTube Channel (@HumanRestorationProject ): https://www.youtube.com/@HumanRestorationProject RELATED VIDEOS & PODCASTS: ------ “Live Like the World is Dying” Podcast: https://ift.tt/gCRqs4t ------ Human Restoration Project: https://ift.tt/Nre4F2C ------ @Andrewism 's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Andrewism ------ A Practical Guide to Systemic Change (@dr.fatima ): https://youtu.be/3NCSY85FqVQ ------ Autism, Anxiety & Misanthropy (@PonderfulYT ): https://youtu.be/GFvhaab3lfw ------ why are you so anti-human? ft. @elliotsayshello (@BABILA. ): https://youtu.be/cM7SQzsatYE ------ Who We Really Are... When Everything Goes Wrong (@LikeStoriesofOld ): https://youtu.be/vT_sKGbP1yY ------ InkSkinned Poem: https://ift.tt/Y9psOBP SOURCES: ------ #doomsdayprepper: Analysing the online prepper community on Instagram1, by Burgert Senekal in journal for cultural studies ------ “The Optimism of Uncertainty” by Howard Zinn ------ A Paradise Built in Hell, by Rebecca Solnit ------ Apocalypse and Heroism in Popular Culture, by Katherine E. Sugg ------ Apocalypse and Post-Politics, by Mary Manjikian ------ Apocalypse Man, by Casey Ryan Kelly ------ Bracing for the Apocalypse, by Anna Maria Bounds ------ Dancing at Armageddon: Survivalism and Chaos in Modern Times, by Richard G. Mitchell Jr. ------ “Elites and Panic: More to Fear than Fear Itself”, by Lee Clarke and Caron Chess ------ Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities, by Rebecca Solnit ------ “Hopeful Dystopias? Figures of Hope in the Brazilian Science Fiction Series 3%” by Michael Godhe in Routledge Guide to Dystopias in Popular Culture ------ “How to survive the end of the future: Preppers, pathology, and the everyday crisis of insecurity”, by Kezia Barker, in the TIBG ------ Humankind: A Hopeful History, by Rutger Bregman ------ Imaginable: How to see the future coming and feel ready for anything–even things that seem impossible today, by Jane McGonigal ------ Interview with Béla Tarr, Cineuropa ------ “Liberal Prepping as Apocalyptic Eco-Religion” by Juli Gittinger, in The Journal of Religion and Popular Culture ------ Life After Doomsday, by Bruce D. Clayton ------ “Making the End Times Great Again” by Carlen Lavigne in The Routledge Companion to Gender and Science Fiction ------ “Obamageddon: Fear, the Far Right, and the Rise of “Doomsday” Prepping in Obama’s America” by Michael F. Mills in Journal of American Studies ------ “Panic: myth or reality?” by Lee Clarke ------ Preparedness Now! An Emergency Survival Guide by Aton Edwards ------ Survival of the Richest, by Douglas Rushkoff ------ Team Human, by Douglas Rushkoff ------ Terrorism and Disaster: New Threats, New Ideas, ed. Lee Clarke ------ The America Syndrome: Apocalypse, War, and Our Call to Greatness, by Betsy Hartman ------ The Ends of the World, by Déborah Danowski and Eduardo Viveiros de Castro ------ The Last Myth: What The Rise of Apocalyptic Thinking Tells Us About America, by Mathew Barrett Gross and Mel Gilles ------ The Ultimate Suburban Survivalist Guide, by Sean Brodrick ------ The Unreality of Memory, by Elisa Gabbert ------ The Wall Street Journal Guide to Investing in the Apocalypse: Make Money by Seeing Opportunity Where Others See Peril, by James Altucher & Douglas R. Sease ------ We Survived the End of the World: Lessons from Native America on Apocalypse and Hope, by Steven Charleston ------ Who Would You Kill to Save the World? by Claire Colebrook * To Support Me: * ---Become a channel Member! ➤ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCecF2icZlEIJ__9XS6woPGw/join ---Join the Patreon! ➤ https://ift.tt/BW8haOo ---Make a one-time donation! ➤ https://ift.tt/UrR7O16 ---Join the Discord! ➤ https://ift.tt/uU1rSyI ---Check out my second channel! ➤ https://youtube.com/@zoecee ---Watch my Warrior Cats Podcast! ➤ https://ift.tt/w1fInhH ---Watch my D&D game! ➤ https://www.youtube.com/@thejaycorn ---Watch my Blades in the Dark game! ➤ https://ift.tt/KOuByeI

#IFTTT #YouTube

0 notes

coloradohq · 10 months

Text

+1 connection has been added.

WOLFGANG HOWARD (OLVER STARK) is looking for THEIR OLDER SIBLING. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of , KATHERYN WINNICK, ROSAMUND PIKE, JAMIE CLAYTON, ALEX BLUE DAVIS, DAN STEVENS, RYAN GOSLING, ANY FC 40-43ISH, but you must reach out to DADIISM to find out more! (wolf was a bit of a surprise child, but despite their age gap, the two are close. the family moved to the united states when wolf was heading into high school (putting wc in their 20s), so they could have followed the family or moved at a later date, it can be utp. i imagine that wc has been supporting wolf through his breakup and whatnot. basically looking for a supportive sibling relationship, we can definitely get more in depth together!)

#oc rp #city rp #town rp #appless rp #active rp #wanted.

0 notes

lowellryanprojects · 2 years

Photo

@thepealebaltimore Welcome to the amazing world of @thekumasi We're proud to host Barnett's current exhibition and related programming. Check out these featured events! https://www.thepealecenter.org/whats-on/ 1️⃣ On display until July 16, 2022: "THE AMAZING BLACK MAN" | This exhibition uses comic book covers to dissolves the disconnect between contemporary American narratives and the reality of ‘justice.' 2️⃣ July 7: Black Comics: Politics of Race + Representation | Join Dr. Sheena Howard for a free, online lecture as she explores the politics of race and representation in Black comics. 3️⃣ July 9 & 16: Visibility is Your Superpower! Art Workshops | Artist and educator, Chrys Seawood, leads this family workshop where participants will make comic book covers to develop literacy as well as creative skills. 4️⃣ July 14: Addressing the White Racial Imagination in Comic Books: Artist Talk | In this panel discussion, artist Kumasi J. Barnett and exhibition curator, Jeffrey Kent, are joined by Dr. Darryl Peterkin, author and American historian from Morgan State University. 📸 Photo: Fabien Palencia #ThePeale #Art #Exhibitions #ComicBooks #ArtistTalk #PanelDiscussion #Workshops #FamilyFun #BlackArt #History #Events #BaltimoreEvents @lowellryanprojects (at Lowell Ryan Projects) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfpK-Z-vEm0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#thepeale #art #exhibitions #comicbooks #artisttalk #paneldiscussion #workshops #familyfun #blackart #history #events #baltimoreevents

0 notes

burntcheesepita · 4 years

Text

impatient

pairing: ryan howard/female reader

warning: smut

word count: 1570

a/n: srry if tunglr fucks up the formatting. no one asked for this but im horny dont @ me

Ryan had you on his bed, pinned down between it and his body. His hips rutted against yours, your soft sighs only meeting his lips. You had one hand on each side of his face as he kissed you breathless.

He pulled away, but only just so far that you could still feel his breath on your face. Your chests heaved and he said, "You want this now?"

You nodded. "Yes," you breathed, and he took no time reattaching his mouth to yours.

His hands slid up your thighs as you squirmed for some friction against his hard-on. His fingers tugged at your shirt with yours at his hair, and he began pushing the fabric up your waist. He leaned back and helped you pull it over your head and quickly pinned you back down by your wrists.

His mouth set a path along your jaw and toward your ear. You moved your head insync with him to give him better access to the sensitive skin. Your whole body felt hot, the excitement pooling in your stomach making your head feel light. Ryan's breath tickled your neck and you squirmed helplessly beneath him. His lips moved deliberately down your throat, leaving behind hot wet kisses. You whined, pressing your hips up against his.

He made a sort of satisfied noise to himself and began to press his teeth into your skin. You whined again and pleaded, "Jesus, Ryan."

Your breathing was heavy as his lips continued downward. He finally released his grip on your wrists and your hands rushed into his hair, his own settling on your waist. He bit lightly down your tummy, that heat in your stomach building as he neared your waistband. He pulled away after leaving a kiss low on your hip to tug off his own shirt.

You took the opportunity to begin pushing off your pants. Ryan followed suit and you heard him begin to undo his belt.

Your pants gone, the only thing left between you was your underwear. You ran your hands up his bare torso as he crawled back up your body, making him shiver. He pressed his lips into yours, kissing you slowly. One of his hands tightly held your thigh, the other brushing his fingertips over your clothed core.

"I wanna make you feel so good. I wanna make you cum." He groaned against your mouth, the hand that was once at your thigh now holding your chin.

You whined, pushing your hips up to meet his fingers for more friction. You were soaked through the fabric. "Do it." You urged. "Make me feel good."

His fingers slipped under the waistband of your panties and dipped lightly into your core, spreading your wetness over your lips and up to your clit. You squirmed, but he held you down by your jaw, forcing you to keep eye contact with him. He began rubbing tight circles into your clit, making you moan and buck your hips.

"You like that?" Ryan asked, the slow, deliberate movement of his fingers had you gripping his shoulders. His sultry gaze burned into you.

"Yes, god yes."

Ryan promptly removed his fingers, receiving an exasperated whine in response. He popped his fingers into his mouth before crawling down your body.

Your breathing quickened as you watched him pull your panties down your legs. Discarding the piece of clothing, he gently spread your legs. He smirked at you as he got comfortable on his stomach, gripped your thighs, and tugged you forward. You squealed.

Your heart pounded in your chest, Ryan's face dangerously close to your core. "You're insufferable." You grumbled. He left soft kisses on your thighs.

You grabbed the back of his head in frustration to try and guide him to where you wanted.

"Easy." He said, smirking again and grasping your wrist.

Finally, Ryan flattened his tongue against your core and licked up to your clit. You sighed, your fingers curling in his dark hair. He closed his mouth around your clit and lavished the little nub with his tongue. You squealed, your thighs closing around his head, prompting him to grab them and pin them down with his forearms. You keened loudly and worked your hips the best you could against his face. Your breathing was labored as he held you down and ate you out, the pleasure making you feel warm and light-headed.

Suddenly, Ryan shook his head back and forth, his tongue plush against your hard clit, and you squealed and arched your back at the acceleration in movement. Ryan desperately kept a tight hold on your thighs as you squirmed, his fingers digging into your skin, sure to leave bruises.

"Oh fuck Ry - ah!" You moaned wantonly, one hand gripping the back of his head as the other dug into the pillow behind you.

The knot in your stomach released - a high moan ripped out of your throat. Ryan let you ride out your high as you ground slowly against his lips. You let go of his head and his grip on your thighs loosened; he pulled back slightly to lap up whatever cum was left.

You tried to catch your breath and watched as Ryan sat back on his haunches. His lips were pink and swollen with irritation, his mouth and chin glistening with your cum. He smirked at you and wiped his face with the back of his forearm and you couldn't help but stupidly smile back.

Ryan removed his underwear, revealing his hard cock. He began crawling back over your body, still smiling at you. "Did I make you feel good?" He inquired.

You drape your arms around his neck. "I've had better." You teased. His mouth came to yours and he kissed you slowly.

His lips moved to your neck, his teeth digging lightly into your skin. "I'll show you better." He said into your ear, grasping his cock and rubbing its head up and down your slit.

You whined. His teasing was making you breathe heavily again - his attention to your throat and the hickies he was leaving behind made you feel scandalized, the way he just wasn't letting you have his cock already made you writhe. The heat and wetness building between your legs was insufferable.

Your hand came down hard on his shoulder and you gripped onto him. "Ryan, please." You squealed. You just wanted to feel him inside you. You wanted him to fuck you senseless.

Ryan finished sucking a particularly painful bruise into your throat before kissing you. He pushed slowly into you, your relieved groan swallowed up by his mouth. Your head fell back as you cried out, breaking the kiss, and Ryan moaned softly.

He filled you up slowly, the feeling of his hard cock inside you making you squeeze your eyes shut. Ryan bottomed out and paused and you whimpered in response. Ryan took this as a signal to keep moving.

He pressed his forehead to yours and moved his hips deliberately. He kissed you languidly, you held him close and tight as you rocked your hips gently against his.

Pulling away, Ryan watched your face. His bright blue eyes were now lust-blown and dark.

“More,” you keened, one of your hands holding the side of his face as your legs moved up and around his waist.

Ryan obliged you, he began thrusting harder and you held on to his shoulders.

You moaned, your pussy clenching around him.

“So good.” He breathed and buried his head into your shoulder.

Ryan held you close as he fucked you, the way you squirmed and the noises you made egging him on. His room was filled with your cries and the sound of his skin moving against yours.

The warmth between your legs was growing rapidly. Your nails dug into Ryan’s skin and he groaned into your neck.

“Ryan,” you squealed as you felt yourself getting closer and closer.

Ryan looked at you. “Say my name again.”

You could almost feel yourself blush if it wasn’t for the heat that had already flooded your face. “Ryan!” You repeated desperately.

He moaned low in his throat, grabbing your thighs to better fuck into you. “Again.”

You whined, working your hips as best you could against his. “Ryan!” You cried, the heat and wetness between your legs making you feel lightheaded.

Ryan watched your face. “God, I love hearing you.” He cooed.

You gripped his shoulders for dear life and squeezed his waist with your legs to try and keep them from shaking. You were dangerously close and Ryan could tell.

He brought a hand to the side of your face and roughly kissed your neck. “Cum on me, baby,” he encouraged, “I wanna feel you cum on me.”

That was all the encouragement you needed. You arched your back and scratched his shoulders, crying out as you came on Ryan’s cock. “Oh shit, Ryan!”

You watched him as he rode out your high, pulling loud, high-pitched moans from your throat. The overstimulation made you repeat his name like a mantra.

Finally, Ryan pulled out to grasp himself in his hand and cum on your stomach, your name spilling from his slightly swollen lips.

He plopped down on his back on the bed next to you and reached for a tissue.

You lay still, trying to catch your breath. “Fuck, that was good.”

“Oh, yeah?” He smiled, handing it to you.

You giggled.

#ryan howard #ryan howard imagine #ryan smut #ryan writing #mine

123 notes · View notes