#relationships are bad kids don't get back together with your shitty ex'' moment.

[fitia]

Sometimes I think about Steven Universe Malachite discourse and like. wow, people were really killing each other over cartoons, and I witnessed it. And also picked a side.

#fitiaposting #Anyways my thoughts on it is that sometimes SU had a hard time balancing the consistency of its story with the messages it wanted to send #due to the nature of it being a children's cartoon with a very didactic narrative. #Malachite was possibly the worst example of it because at the end of the day I think it's stupid to pretend that the intention of Alone At #Sea wasn't that Jasper was supposed to be the ''abuser'' in that situation trying to manipulate her ''victim'' back into their toxic #relationship. That being said what we actually saw play out canonically was Lapis -- someone inarguably much more powerful than Jasper who #we've seen best a character Jasper LOST to with incredible ease. while nursing a cracked gem and waterbending the entirety of the Earth's #oceans at once -- imprisoning a gem out of spite and vengeance at the bottom of the ocean so she had someone to take her anger out on. #Lapis... pretty obviously had the power in that situation. Hell even admits in Alone at Sea that she enjoyed taking everything out Jasper. #The episode however give Jasper the Walking Red Flag framing you'd find in a ''how to spot an abuser'' PSA so we could have our ''Toxic #relationships are bad kids don't get back together with your shitty ex'' moment. #So it's a bit frustrating because what the writing wants you to ultimately take away from the situation kind of goes against what we all #canonically witnessed... and then it created a massive flame war between people who prioritized reading the Tone of the actual episode vs #people who cared about the consistency of what we'd actually seen depicted so far. #When I think the actual conclusion that should've been taken was ''Maybe Alone at Sea is a poorly written episode and Malachite got an #unsatisfying conclusion actually''

[wewebaggit]

i am conflicted about max (bc i don't like killing a suicidal kid who fought tooth and nail to survive and also the aspect of ending an interracial relationship while all the white straights get to be happy would be really bad), but hopper and steve should have died 100%. not only hopper's fake out death was nonsensical, but it was such a chickening out moment that made the entire loss of his character pointless, plus the whole russia arc was shitty. him dying actually would fit the story so much. also steve... like please the writers suck up this dude so much that they created an entire new character (eddie) to kill him off in steve's place. cowardly behavior. should have left steve die but ofc st doesnt have good writing so we have to watch shit like these bending the narrative just to not kill your two white men.

I would have been sad if Max had actually died cuz I do enjoy her character a lot. However, what ended up happening with her saving at the end by the magical hand magic of El in a realm she wasn't even present in btw (whatever we no care for consistency) was much more offensive to her arc. I mean she goes thru all that but in the end what saves her is none of that shit. Just magic. There is no sense of urgency or real danger because the stakes are never high in ST. Which I've finally come to peace with is not the type of show it advertises itself as i.e. horror/sci-fi. But instead is more superhero shit. So. Max is and was always expendable and created to service the one true god El. N if that's the case I rather her arc amount to something important. Than just one more instance to show us how OPed El is.

Regarding your feelings about one half of the interracial couple and the suicidal kid getting shafted, well the interracial couple never got to showcase their romance anyway. What sells it is the easy camaraderie and the fact that we're told they're together. The romance aspect has been clearly reserved for MiIeven among the kids. So idk I've never been that interested in Lumax cuz of Lumax but cuz I like Lucas and Max individually. Lucas also keeps getting a bad deal regardless of the equation he makes a half or third or fourth of.

Now about the suicidal kid dying? She is dead. She's alive by deus ex machina and nothing else. It's not her fighting back. It's not even ALL the people rallying behind her to save her and save hawkins. No. It's all El. I don't see the appeal in that.

So she was better off fridged. Steve and Hopper should've been dead. This show should have had script doctors. But shoulda woulda coulda changes nothing.

#byler #stranger things #wewe's askbox

[wotakuhime]

midnight memories

100% pure 'Tsuya fluff 😌

A/N: If he's not Mitsuya, then fuck that guy. 💜

Life seemed really shitty as of late. Your no-good, piece-of-shit-boyfriend turned into your no-good, piece-of-shit-ex, and the whole week reeked of the fall out from the messy break up. You knew the relationship had been over for months leading up, but you still felt the sting in your heart even thinking about it. Once Friday came, the sting was still there but you were determined to ease it in anyway. As a matter of fact, your friend was throwing a big house party for their birthday, and you thought it would be a good escape from your sore feelings, even for a few hours.

The party is now in full swing, with lots of people spread all over your friend's backyard. As the party continued on, you become increasingly bored. You tossed back a couple drinks, took a couple tokes, and began to walk around watching people.

At first glance, you see a boisterous group of friends together huddled by the shed. There's a guy with cotton-candy hair in the center attempting and failing to do a keg stand. 

Across the yard by a few old cars are a number of girls giggling at a tall, lengthy man with tatted hands. He's obnoxiously calling out to them. Next to him, his friend with an ashen undercut and glasses sways back and forth, trying hard not to fall out of his seat. 

At least he wasn't as bad as the blonde kid who's completely passed out on the ground, drooling face buried in the dirt. You giggle at the huge guy with a dragon tattoo on his temple as he huffs out a small, "fuckin Takemitchy," picks the kid up bridal style, and carries him back into the house where he can sleep it off in peace. 

As you make your way around the yard, you don't notice the lilac-haired boy following you with his eyes. He sits across the way in a small group by the fire pit. He had noticed something about you. You were here at the party, but you weren't IN the party- a feeling he's all too familiar with. He watches as you smile empitly, walking around like you're in your own little world. 

Both of you suddenly snap your gazes to the big group of people gathered around two idiots who began swinging and clawing at each other in a drunken rage. In one moment, you have a flashback to your friend telling you that there absolutely cannot be any fighting during the party. (The last time a fight broke out, police were called, and the night had been ruined.) The next moment you find yourself pulling one idiot off of the other. As soon as they're separated (with a little help from people in the crowd) you stand your ground in the middle of them.

"NO FUCKING FIGHTING. GET THE FUCK OUT," you bellow.

You're unsure why you got in the middle of the quarrel or even why you let your rage get the better of you. This wasn't your party, or your house, so why should you care? Of course, these thoughts are only droplets in the back of your head. What's gushing through faster than you can think is your drive to quell the chaos.

Thankfully your friend steps in as the host and begins barking out commands. It was his turn to deal with these idiots. You don't hesitate to turn your heals and march back into the house, through the halls, and out into the front yard. You need quiet. You need peace. Though, as you sit on the curb of the street, you realize that you didn't need it from the chaos of the party. No. You need it from the nervous thoughts in your head, that heavy loneliness weighing in your chest. 

A couple moments pass in the quietness of the night.

As you gaze out passed the darkness, at the town lights down in the valley, you hear a voice behind you. 

"You alright?" 

"Huh??" You flinch.

The voice is soft and sultry, but it still startled you. Your eyes dart back and follow the violet-haired, violet-eyed boy as he sits next to you on the curb. 

He gives you a gentle smile and chuckles, "I said, are you alright?"

You're slightly confused as to why he came out here, but you answer back anyways,

"Yeah I'm ok."

"That was kinda awesome, what you did back there," he continues, "that fight was really fuckin stupid."

"Yeah, well I feel kinda stupid for getting in the middle of it," you shift your gaze down at the street. "I don't even know those shitheads." 

He lets out another light-hearted huff, "Well I guess that was pretty stupid of you... but still awesome." He nudges your shoulder with his, clearly trying to cheer you up. He doesn't dare mention how if either one of those shitheads laid a finger on you, he would have pummeled them both into the dirt without warning. 

You can't help but smile, but of course who wouldn't? Sitting with this beautiful boy, his dreamy eyes only on you, making sure you're okay. 

Already feeling more at ease, you want to return the kindness,

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I've ever talked to you before," you say earnestly, "you're Mistuya, right?"

"Call me Takashi. You?"

"Y/n." You smile back at him.

"Pleasure to meet you, Y/N." 

You notice something about his presence that's warm, making all of your anxiety melt away. And the way he says your name. You could hear that voice say your name again and again. 

Mitsuya lays back to rest his head on the sidewalk. He sets his eyes on the tiny, twinkling stars above the two if you. 

"This party fuckin blows," he sighs.

You giggle as you reply back, "it really does, huh?"

All you can do is study the delicate yet handsome features of his face. His velvety, lilac eyes. The way his trimmed brows frame his face. The small smirk settled across his lips. 

Your moment is interrupted as a guy with long, raven hair down his shoulders shouts from the doorway of the house,

"Oi, 'Tsuya. Neighbors called the cops. Let's get the hell outta here." 

Mitsuya pushes his head back to look at the guy upside down. " 'Kay," he groans. Maybe he was a little disappointed to be reminded that you two weren't the only people here. 

You see all the others from his group head to their bikes parked down the driveway. Mitsuya picks himself up off the sidewalk and stands at your side.

"Hey, y/n, you ever ride on a motorcycle before?" That soft smirk molded back on his face.

Your give him a cheesy smile that could light up the sky. "Not in a really long time."

He turns to face you, offering his hand for you to take hold of. "Then, let's go."

You feel the warmth of his hand in one moment. The next moment, you're clinging to the warmth of his back as the two of you cruise into the brisk night of the city. 

#mitsuya fluff #tokyo rev fluff #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya takashi x reader #gn reader #sanzu harushiyo #hanma shuuji #kisaki tetta #ryuuguji ken #takemichi hanagaki #baji keisuke #very brief #tw alchohol mention #tw drug mention

[songofassandfire]

R there any other mccormick ships u rly like besides kevlly? I love hearing ppl gush about ships lol ^_^

ohhh anon I like this question 👀 damn this got pretty long tho

Well first and foremost that I have not made it a secret that I unironically enjoy Stuart and Carol's relationship. Now I understand why that would be a little uhhhh... controversial. They don't treat each other well most of the time they're on screen together, to put it lightly, and are usually fighting more often than not. But like... there's enough little bits of genuine affection here and there, even just in the background details, that I can't help but believe that there's a real loving relationship that's just bogged down by their own shitty personal decisions and generally bad lot in life.

I always felt like they were just a picture perfect couple when they were younger, and I think that sweet and loving side of them is still in there if they can just chip away at all the bullshit. I dunno how to really explain this ahjdcvhgdj I just feel like they both really do care about each other overall and the moments they are getting along are really sweet to me. They're also both hot.

(sidenote some ppl seem to get real technical about "it's not a 'ship' if it's canon/they're married" with canon couples. which is annoying to me bc a ship is still a ship even if it's canon isn't it?? like it's just shorthand for "relationship" right?? whatever blah)

I also really like Stuart and Gerald together a bit jskhdcvjhkvf more in a "best friends who almost were" kinda way. The kind where they're not technically exes, but it was so close they might as well be exes. if that makes any sense ajhcbjhkfvrj basically all I'm saying is they've explored each other's bodies.

Aside from Kevlly, I also like the idea of Kevin and Michael together, even more of a crack pairing than Kevlly but still good in my eyes sdvchjgsdh

idk the other two Mccormick kids seem to get along fairly well with the goth kids and I feel like Kevin would be no different in that regard. He's generally not loud or in-your-face about trends n shit, but he's got a rage inside him, and I think Michael would appreciate that tbh. Meanwhile, Kevin doesn't really understand all the darkness and pain and edgy stuff that Michael uses to express himself but he's surprisingly easy to talk to while also able to enjoy the comfortable silences.

I've had this headcanon for a while that Kevin and Michael bumped into each other behind the school while they were both skipping class at the same time, and they kinda just became casual smoking buddies. Of course in a shipping context one of them then develops a crush on the other (I usually pick Michael bc I think having a crush on Kevin's oblivious ass would actually piss him off and I think that's funny. Despite them seemingly dropping the goth Karen thing, if she were part of the clique I feel like she'd try so so hard to be a good wingman and fail at it even harder).

I am also briefly considering Kevin/Jenny Harrison, but I mostly have it in my head as a relatively short lived relationship that wasn't bad at all, but not built to last. Kevin encourages her to try new things, mostly things that definitely go against her religion. Just a little dose of rebellion, nothing too major. As for what breaks it off for good, one time Kevin almost actually gets her in trouble, and it scares her enough to snap right back into the rigid good girl thing even harder. Jenny, heartbroken as she was about it, decides it's for the best for them to not be together anymore.

I'm not as into Bunny as I used to be, but it's still a top tier Kenny ship imo. I know most of their one-on-one interactions are largely confined to one episode and that much of the fanon content surrounding them is ooc at best and unsettlingly fetishized at worst, but I can't help but be attached to the idea of them together.

I never consider it in a "one saves the other" or even a "both saving each other" context, I mostly see it was they just kinda give each other a breather from all the fucked up shit in their lives. Like everything sucks ass but at least they have each other. To me it's like, Butters is borderline bloodthirsty and also a huge pain in the ass sometimes but Kenny, as exasperated as he is, can't help but want to stick by him, if that makes sense jahbdvjhfsjhv

Now Kenny and Cartman isn't as popular as some of the other Kenny ships, but it really should be if I'm honest. Even though there's moments in the show that have Kenny just unequivocally hate Eric, I do fully believe that they really are best friends.

It's kinda hard for me to really explain why I like it so much (mostly bc liking kenman is a newer thing for me khajsfhjgr). I just think that despite all the ripping on Kenny for being poor n shit, Cartman just kinda gets him in a way that Stan and Kyle don't? Not to say they aren't close with Kenny or anything... god I really don't know how to explain this shdcvhjvfjhg all in all they good

Tfbw dlc also gave us some blessed interactions between Kenny and Henrietta tho. Like I definitely think at least Henrietta is interested in him, I'm pretty sure they were basically flirting the whole time. Plus her knowledge of Old Ones can give him some insight on his whole curse deal. Chill, laid back guy x monotone and serious goth is a top tier dynamic, personally. Just all her black clothes and goth makeup standing next to Kenny's orange ass. As much as I like kenrietta I don't really have much to say about it hgdhgdedgj it's just a really nice ship. Like, who deserves a goth gf more than Kenny?

There's a LOT of good Kenny ships out there but going through them all would take ages haha just know that stenny, K2, and tolkenny are also high on the list

Karen and Tricia I guess kinda depends on your interpretation of them as characters, since Karen has little canon character and Tricia has even less. Karen is obviously a timid and lonely kid, while I see Tricia as more of an assertive, confident, no nonsense, rude-because-I-can-be kinda girl. So, in my head, they balance each other out pretty well. Obviously they wouldn't actually get together until they're at least a little bit older, though.

Aaaaand that's about it, I guess haha. As u can see I think about the mccormicks an awful lot

#answers #kevin mccormick #kenny mccormick #karen mccormick #stuart mccormick #carol mccormick #i hope this isnt COMPLETELY utter nonsense its like almost 6 am #i shouldve stopped but i was on a roll

[d-targaryenshoe]

By Chance • Part 3 • Jackson Avery

word count: 927

Summary: Y/N and Jackson have a kid together but when heartache gets too hard, then worse things happen

"My life's never been this different, y/n. There's Izzie, the twins, and thankfully internet connection." Alex joked through your phone screen. "I had to be here, y/n."

You knew somewhere that Alex always had loved Izzie, although he didn't know there were two kids of him running around, you understood how he felt.

"And you listened to the words that your heart was telling you. There's nothing wrong with that." You got up from your couch, strolling towards your window. "I got hit by a car, I went to Joe's with my ex-boyfriend, and now I'm confused."

"Wait a minute, you and Avery went out again?" Alex raised an eyebrow at you, slightly starting to smirk as well. "Wouldn't be a bad thing for your son, y/n."

You knew Miles was confused when he was at your house one week and the other he had to get ready for leaving to Jackson's.

"He pulled me out of Joe's, leaned in, and then said we should think about what we want." You sarcastically scoffed, shaking your head. "Life is so shitty sometimes."

Alex sighed, staring at the distance before speaking again. "You two, you're solid, either he's gonna end up on your doorstep, or he's gonna ask Meredith to try and make you talk to him."

You pulled your curtains close as you listened to your friend's words. "Your the relationship expert yourself aren't you, Evil spawn?"

Alex grinned at you, holding up his hands in surrender. "I've taken a choice for one of them, haven't I?

You nodded your head, walking back to your couch before your doorbell sounded through your living room. "Hey, um- I'm gonna have to call you back, okay?"

"Go get your man, y/n, but you report everything back to me." Alex winked before he ended the facetime call, which made you walk towards your front door.

"Seriously I was havi-." Your words were stopped when you actually indeed saw Jackson standing on your doorstep, more precisely in the rain. "A facetime with Alex."

You opened the door somehow wider as he walked past you, taking off his jacket. "Since when do you facetime with Karev?"

You strolled towards your cabinets, taking out the bottle of scotch and two glasses. "Since he went away from Jo and left for the woman he loved."

"Here." You poured the strong liquid into the glasses, handing him one of them before you walked towards your couch and sat down. "Miles isn't here, by the way, he's having another playdate at Meredith's."

You raised the glass to your lips, closing your eyes after as a slight heat ran over your lungs.

"Since when does he have play dates at Mer's?" He frowned, finishing the glass as well, staring at you. "Don't tell me sinc-"

"Since Altman and her baked the chocolate chip cookies for Zola." You slightly laughed with Jackson , leaning your head against the headrest. "The huge love for food, well, at least there's something of me in there."

"Now, why were you standing on my doorstep in the rain?" you frowned at the plastic surgeon, placing the empty glass on the table. "Because I'm dying to find out."

You took the pillow next to you as you placed it behind your back. "Cat got your tongue?"

"I just- I made a mistake by saying what I said last week." He folded his hands when staring at them. "I said something I shouldn't have said."

You sarcastically chuckled, staring at the ceiling with crossed arms, confused and slightly hurt.

"When I was laying in that hospital bed and you said that you broke up with Vic? Gosh, I was relieved of so much pain. And then the moment you asked me out? I had some hope, hope that we'd be y/n and Jackson again? And everything went great! Until you said those words." You lectured, not meeting his eyes once but feeling his eyes on you. "Then when I came home Miles asked how it went with his dad."

"I got scared okay? Scared of doing something we'd regret, something I could've done wrong, or just doing the same thing as I did with Vic, doing something too hastily." He finished, meeting your eyes, slightly clenching his jaw. "I should've been smarter."

"Scared? You're scared? I'm scared. I'm scared to jump in again and then seeing if we'll end up like this again, you're my person, ever since you wore that embarrassing and hideous orange scrub, and if I lose that if I lose you, Jackson, I'm done for." You mumbled, wiping the tear away that rolled down your cheeks.

"And if I say that you're not gonna lose me? Because if I try to do so, y/n, there's a lot of women that have your back and who'll kick my ass." Jackson muttered, chuckling at the end of his sentence.

"Such as April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Amelia Shepherd, Carina Deluca, Christina Yang from distance, my list goes on actually." You shrugged your shoulders, staring down at your fingers. "Yep, the list goes on.."

Not looking up you felt the couch next to you sink in. "So?"

You stared up at him, raising an eyebrow. "So? You want to be scared together or something?"

"It's better than being scared on my own." Jackson shrugged, intertwining his hand with yours. "So?"

"If you ever think about leaving me, Jackson Avery." You held back your tears, lowering your voice.

"I won't."

"Then by chance, we can be scared together." you nodded.

#greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy imagines #request open #jackson avery imagine #jackson avery imagines #jackson avery x reader #jesse williams x reader #jesse williams imagines

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 8

A/N- Im sorry if this is bad! 😂

*Contains Defending Jacob spoilers*

When i finally got home later that day i ordered a pizza and decided to take a quick shower while i waited, knowing they usually take a good 45 minutes this time of night. Walking out of the bathroom 10 minutes later wrapped in a fluffy purple towel i passed the window in the hallway and spotted Andy sitting outside in his car. I walked to the bedroom and picked up my phone from the bedside cabinet and hit his number.

As it rang i walked over to the window and watched him staring at the phone in his hand for a few moments before answering.

"Hey" he finally answered.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah of course! Why wouldnt it be?"

"Well the fact your sitting outside my house....."

"Shit, sorry! I wasn't being weird i swear! Its just.....i should just go" he sighed shaking his head.

"You wanna come in for a minute?"

"I dont wanna interupt...."

"Your not its fine, let me just come down real quick and open the door....wait for me in the kitchen" i told him making my way downstairs.

"....okay" he finally agreed, I ended the call and quickly unlocked the door pulling it open just a crack before running back upstairs to get dressed.  I tossed my phone on the bed and grabbed my sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt. After towel drying my hair real quick i tied it up out the way and made my way down to see Andy.

When i walked into the kitchen Andy looked up and smiled at me, he was sat at my small kitchen table, his coat and suit jacket discarded on the empty chair beside him.

"Im sorry to just show up like this Y/N" he said shaking his head.

"Its fine don't worry about it"

"I don't even know how i ended up here....."

"Another shitty day?"

"Yeah" he scoffed "the kids aint talking, none of them knew anything. Most of them where more interested in the fact that i was Jacob Barbers dad"

"So no leads?"

"No. But Duffy found out there's a guy who lives near the park, Leonard Patz. Done for Indecent AB on a minor"

"Why didnt you know about him before?"

"Duff said he only moved to Newton in the last year. Never registered. One of the ADA's in the child abuse unit flagged him"

"What exactly did Patz do to this kid?"

"Grabbed the kids package at the public library, got out on a personal"

"He groped a kid and got out on a personal?" I asked wide eyed at the idea of this man walking free around town.

"Apparently there was some question about the kids testimony. Duffy also said we gotta keep in mind the Rifkin kid had no signs of sexual assault"

"But its something for you to look into, right? If your getting nowhere with the kids at school it makes sense that Patz is the next point of call"

"I just, i have to be careful how i play this one.... i told Duffy i needed to sleep on it. My heads all over the place"

"You want a coffee? Or i have beer?"

"I'll take a beer please" he gave me a tired smile.

I grabbed a couple beers and we went to sit in the living room, he sat on the sofa and let his head fall back with a contented sigh as he closed his eyes.

"Thank you for this Y/N, i always feel like i can relax with you. Everyones always expecting things from me you know? But you.... you just let me be myself"

"And your not yourself at home?"

"Not at all, not for a long time anyway" he replied lifting his head to take a mouthful of his beer "Laurie and I were talking about divorce before all this happened"

"Oh...." i was genuinely surprised to hear that and didn't know how to react to this new information!

"Im okay about it though, is that bad?"

"No, people get divorced all the time Andy"

"I know. Its kinda scary though, i've been with Laurie since college.... i think we got too comfortable.... we lost that spark"

"And theres no getting it back?"

"Im pretty sure that boat has sailed" he chuckled to himself "i will aways love her don't get me wrong im just...."

"Not IN love with her?"

"Yeah" he nodded looking a little sad that his marriage hadn't worked out "You ever been in love?" Andy asked cocking his head to the side and watching me closely.

"Me?.... um, yeah once" i nodded as i picked at the label on my beer bottle "college boyfriend, he was everything to me.... kinda sad looking back at it"

"What happened?"

"I caught him in bed with my best friend"

"Shit"

"Yeah, i cut all contact with the both of them after that. You wanna know the kicker? ...their still together with their second kid on the way"

"Im sorry to hear that"

"It happens" i shrugged "i haven't been in a relationship since. Guess i have some trust issues"

"And you and Frank?...."

"Me and Frank, right" i shook my head getting up from the sofa "i need another beer before talking about Frank, you want another?"

"Sure".

I sat on the opposite end of the sofa facing Andy when i returned with fresh beers.

"So whats the deal with Frank?" He asked but averted his eyes while he mentioned the other man in my life.

"We spent some time together" i shrugged feeling like an idiot for thinking i could do the whole casual/non exclusive thing.

"And your not anymore?"

"At the moment i don't think so"

"What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was supposed to be meeting his friends yesterday but i told him i had to reschedule. With everything going on i wasn't feeling it you know? This morning when i was getting coffee i saw him with some blonde....we want different things i guess. I mean you warned me what Frank was like right?.... i thought i could do the casual thing.... turns out i'm not a fan so much"

"The guys an idiot.....Im sorry" Andy said keeping his eyes down on his beer bottle casually raising his eyebrows.

"No your not" i laughed shaking my head at him, it was written all over his face that he was pleased to hear this news.

"Your right i'm not" he finally looked up at me "your too good for him".

"Andy..."

"Im serious. You're something else....." he took a deep breath putting his now empty beer bottle on the table then turned to face me "i have to tell you something.... its been eating away at me for a while now"

"What is it?" I asked him putting my beer down and giving him my full attention.

"I remember what happened in Vermont.... the things i said... the kiss"

I was not expecting that!

"Oh...."

"Im sorry, i just didn't want things to get weird between us. I didn't want to loose you"

"Andy.... i..."

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss in the elevator Y/N. I cant stop thinking about how much i still wanna kiss you every damn time i see you!"

"We can't...."

"We can! Its okay to want this" he reached across and took my hand rubbing circles on the back of my hand "tell me you don't want it too and i'll leave right now and we can forget this happened".

I sat there staring at him shaking my head "i cant tell you that...".

Before i knew it Andy was pulling me into his lap and kissing me breathless. His hands slipping under my t-shirt caressing my back. My heart was racing as we finally parted for air, i placed my hands on either side of his face, my thumbs stroking his cheeks that were flushed as we tried to catch our breath.

The moment was interrupted by knocking at the door.

"Leave it" he mumbled leaning forward and kissing me again. I pushed him back and laughed before climbing off his lap "thats my takeout! Im not just gonna leave it, i'll be back in two seconds".

I grabbed my purse from the table and headed to the front, i opened the door with a smile.... a smile that fell when i saw Frank standing there instead of the delivery man!

"Frank....."

"Hey sweetheart".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rainbowkisses31

#sebastian stan #chris evans #reader insert #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #steve x reader #eb!frank x reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber #endings beginnings #defending jacob #rose coloured glasses

[olilas]

I Watched My Ex Fall In Love With Someone Else On Facebook.

Keeping tabs on him via social media became a form of self-inflicted torture that I just couldn't quit.

- A text by Kristen King.

We broke up in the parking lot of an Uno Pizzeria in Boston.

He wanted to settle down. He wanted kids and a good job and a yard for a dog to run in. I wanted New York. And London. And maybe Thailand for a year or two. I wanted to write and to live in a shitty apartment and to be in love in a tumultuous way. I was barely 21; I didn't want it to be easy yet.

We ordered two individual deep-dish pizzas to go and sat in his car eating them in silence. We told ourselves it would be nice not to tip, or to listen to the bad '90s songs they played inside the restaurant, but maybe it was just nice to not talk for a while.

"Something isn't right," I said.

"Did they give you the wrong sauce?" He looked at me with a face of genuine concern that reminded me why I loved him.

"No. Not the pizza. Us," I said.

A spot of red sauce crept down his chin. Without permission, I wiped it away with my thumb.

Through tears, we sat in the car making promises we couldn't keep, our cold pizza unattended at our feet.

Maybe in a couple years, we promised each other.

I held onto that longer than I should have.

It was my justification three months later as I clicked through his Facebook profile late at night. I just want to see how he is, I told myself. I wonder if he's found that job yet, I reasoned. I wonder if his parents are still in good health.

I always had a good reason for going back.

Their first photograph together was taken at a party.

At least I can assume it was a party from the red Solo cup she held and his tipsy half-smile — the same one I used to tease him about. His fingers were wrapped around her waist and as I stared at my computer screen I tried not to think about how I used to feel when he put his hands the same place on me.

Maybe they're just friends. Did he know her while we were dating? I wonder if they spent the night together.

I'm not allowed to care, I reminded myself. But I did. I slammed my laptop shut. I was done torturing myself for one night. But when I fell asleep, I dreamed of him.

It was winter. Dirty snow lined the parking lot of the 7-Eleven where we bought papers to roll joints. As we leaned against the car I could feel the cold spreading through my body from the soles of my feet.

He exhaled purposefully onto me, his cloud of hot breath drifting toward me.

Like any dreamscape, it wasn't quite right. The plotline didn't make sense. Why were we standing outside rather than walking in? Why were we driving my mother's car instead of his? Why wasn't he wearing a jacket?

Why were we still together?

I took my hands out of my gloves and put them under his shirt, finding my way to his chest. He winced and then smiled at me.

"I'm just here to warm your extremities, aren't I?" he said.

"Maybe," I said, grinning.

I woke up cold, searching for him in my bed.

That brief moment after waking was always the worst. That moment when I felt like the dream was reality — like maybe we never broke up at all. That moment when I willed myself back to sleep, wishing nothing more than to return to my hand on his chest. That moment where I remembered so easily what it felt like to love and to be loved that it seemed impossible it wasn't true anymore.

I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and started scrolling through his Twitter. I needed to be with him, in whatever capacity I could. As I read the words on my screen I could hear his voice so clearly. I imagined him laughing at his own joke before posting it and smiled at the thought. I could hear his voice so easily that for a moment my bed didn't feel quite so empty.

Six months after we broke up, there was another photo: him and the girl with the red Solo cup at a baseball game. My stomach twisted as I realized she was destined to become a recurring character in his life. I scrolled through the photos of them together, each holding a drink. I wondered if she liked sports, or if she was more interested in the overpriced beers and hot dogs like I was. I wondered if she enjoyed remarking on the tightness of the player's pants, or discussing the blood alcohol content of the people around her. I wondered if they were having fun.

Seeing them together, with their easy smiles and full cups, it still didn't register that he had moved on.

Maybe in a couple of years — that promise came back to me too easily. I didn't want him now, but I didn't think that meant I couldn't have him ever.

I couldn't digest that he could fall in love with someone else while I still loved him. At that point, I didn't understand love could be one-sided like that. I couldn't imagine he told her the things he told me, or looked at her the same way.

In my deluded state, I actually felt sorry for her. This poor girl's boyfriend is in love with his ex, I thought. It's funny how easy it is to believe the unbelievable when it hurts less.

I pictured him lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing the girl lying next to him was me. It was easier to imagine he was sleeplessly staring at walls, searching for me in his bed, than to believe the truth: He wasn't thinking of me at all.

The internet told me a lot about her. It told me she was beautiful and smart. It told me she was social and her smile made her seem kind. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't.

She took pictures with children and smiled wholeheartedly in photos. She laughed in a way that seemed authentic. She looked like the kind of girl who didn't take long to get ready.

I looked at her profile and then went back to my own, attempting to step outside of myself and act as an unbiased judge between the two of us. I looked at our profiles and saw all the things we had in common, and all the things we did not. My face was more angular and sharper than hers, my hair a little less blonde. My smile didn't come as easily, except in the photos in which I was with him. She volunteered more than I did, but I seemed to get outdoors more. She looked like she came from money, and I looked like I was living on hand-me-downs and budgeted grocery lists. We had our differences but we also had our overarching similarities: We both loved our family, our friends, and the same guy.

Months passed and I watched them tag each other in photos and their relationship status change. I cringed as they exchanged banter on Twitter and speculated what their jokes were about. I noticed when she became friends with his sisters and took a photo with his mother. I saw him wearing the watch I bought him as he stood next to her on a vacation they took together. I saw them driving in the car we kissed in — the car we broke up in.

I saw their relationship go the places ours had gone and to places it had not.

I wondered if they fought. I wondered if the things he did that annoyed me bothered her in the same way. I wondered if she wanted the big yard and the good job, too.

I could have stopped looking at any time, but it was addicting. I wanted to know what happened next. I wanted to see if it worked out. Or maybe I wanted to see if it didn't.

Despite my self-inflicted torture, I didn't reach out to him.

I still wanted New York. And London. And maybe Thailand for a year or two. Nothing had changed. But I liked seeing photos of that toothy grin. I liked when he made a goofy face or wasn't ready for a picture. He reminded me what it felt like to love someone, and I liked that part of myself.

We were both spiraling off in vastly different directions, but I still felt an inexplicable pull toward him. It was nice having him be so accessible, even if he wasn't.

I didn't fancy myself a stalker, though maybe that's what I was — leering through the virtual windowpane of someone else's happy life. I guess I just thought if I could see him on that 13-inch computer screen, then maybe he was still with me in a way, maybe I wasn't alone, maybe I was loved. Maybe he was looking, too.

As time passed, I visited him less often. And when I did concede, the twist of the knife was not as sharp. Instead, it felt like the prodding of a dull familiar wound, one that leaves its mark, but the pain is felt more from memory than from anything else.

Eventually, I went an hour without thinking of him, then a few hours, then a day, then a week, then a month.

When I visit his profile now, the sting isn't as sharp. I am proud of him when he finds success in his career, and I am sad for him when someone he knows dies. I am happy for him for being in love.

I am glad for the girl with the red Solo cup for finding such a good man.

Maybe he's different now. Maybe he doesn't snort when he laughs, or fold his pizza into a sandwich before eating it. Maybe I don't know him at all. But still, visiting him reminds me that I am capable of love, and that I am worthy of love. It reminds me that when you truly care for another person, it never really goes away.