#relationship: i don't think i can go on

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #john gaius #harrow the ninth #this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL #this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships #(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think #the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real #but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed) #there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone? #yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't) #the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god #when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care #(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution) #and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on #it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there #while john is -- well he sure is being john huh #this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end #(with john slam dunked right into hell that is) #it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up #john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....'' #and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her. #all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond. #so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said: #the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

[uncanny-tranny]

It's always, like, mildly annoying when people see a het trans couple and go "all that work just to be straight?" like... one, you don't know if they're straight and two, trans people don't owe you a queer sexuality to "make up" for the fact we're trans. Transhet people aren't a subtype of trans people, they're members of the trans community, and the queer one if they so desire!

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #and i don't really vibe with the word microaggression but it's very that #like it just comes across like people think trans folks owe them queerness and cabaret preformances y'know? #and we cannot *be* if it means the way we are being isn't this carefully curated version people have of transness + queerness #and it can kind of warp your desires and understanding of yourself because you *want* community and to be seen and to be allowed to just be #this isn't universal and the 'you' is impersonal. i am aware this is a broad range of experiences and not everybody can/does relate #my overall point is that it's probably not the best move to act like this toward trans people #maybe i read too much into this but it's just something i have seen over and over and over and over . . . again #shoutout to the real ones (heterosexual and/or straight trans people or people in straight-presenting relationships 👍) #back to playing the lelda of zelda (is it bad that i don't even call her zelda anymore i just go 'THERES LELDA!!!') #it sounds wrong to call her zelda now 😭 #the LEG OF ZEG. SWORD SKORD???? BREATH OF THE WEATH!! -my brain 24/7/365

[slymanner]

God dude these two scenes and how roxie moves hurt my heart so so bad 🥹

it's like a mix of anger, feral, emotional breakdown, and complete sadness that just fucks me up soooo fucking bad.

it's like she's a pet who got abandoned by their owner but they see them again after years of sadness and depression of them being gone and leaving them like that and all that anger and sadness just manifest's into one bundle of emotion's towards them they cannot control.

roxie baby ur gonna be okay u deserve better :[

#scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim spoilers #scott pilgrim takes off #roxie richter #ramona flowers #its the fucking fact throughout that whole scene after the hammer she just starts going COMPLETELY feral and just bawl her eyes out #throughout the whole irl fight until the movie shelf falls on them 🥹 #can she like #get a hug or something i get her so so much i get u gurl im so sorry u gotta go through this #this episode really just #shows how important closure is for a relationship/even a friendship #like of course it depends on the person and the relationship but man. #People don't realize how important it is to not just leave a person behind like that without explanation but instead give them closure about #it and telling them how you feel. #it really is as simple as that sometimes...and i think people forget that and just wanna ghost/leave as fast as possible #to not deal with the emotions of the situation. #Like both roxie and ramona finally just talking about the situation does sm for their future as friends and i loveeee ittt #so so much better then the comics version off them I feel like this is PERFECT. #again obviously theres just some situations where talking just doesnt work and you both just have to move on. #but when theres situation's like roxie and ramona? talking is needed. #talking/closure is so so important guys remember that when its needed. <3

[skrunksthatwunk]

the debate continues (pt 1) but kurama gets called in

bonus under the cut (ft hiei):

gay people

#can you tell i'm much more used to drawing hiei and kurama? lol. i just love their hair sm like.. mwah #anyway idek if this is funny but here's more of it ig #also i just typed 90s yaoi cover into google so i know nothing about that image or its source material so like. open to fun facts ig #yyh #yu yu hakusho #kuwameshi #kazuma kuwabara #kurama #shuichi minamino #hiei #anyway kuwameshi bi4bi moment and i think about the discovery of that a lot. also yusuke's nb to me so im picturing another side of this #where yusuke's like oh man... maybe i AM the girl??? but for gender reasons and not like. relationship dynamic or uke/seme reasons or whatv #also poor kuwabara. that's not going to help you very much i think. he's gonna believe in the yaoi hole :( #skrunkart #thinking about how kurama uses telepathy when he's first introduced and kind of never again after that?? anyway that's what going on in tha #hiei extra fyi #kuwabara kazuma #minamino shuichi #idkkkkk #hoorayy anyway so like. yusuke and kuwabara here like each other so much but don't know what that makes them (bi in this case) bc of the #past interest in girls. like they both have been into girls but they feel so strongly about each other they can't just ignore it. so they'r #like shit i guess we're gay now. and that doesnt fit right but what else could it be? and also they have like zero accurate knowledge of #queer people and queerness. very 'completely trusts an am i gay quiz' moment to me #they don't know where to look besides yaoi and that's Not For Them so that doesn't work. confusing times for kuwameshi i spose #plus kuwabara spirit sensitivity = gaydar in this case #a little tiny tiny kurahi in there. to me :)

[diseaseriddencube]

normal people: alastor is aggressive with lucifer because he's actually under the control of lilith and needs to keep him away/help charlie or sth

me: alastor is aggressive with lucifer because he saw someone with two ounces more power than him, someone who could help charlie more than he has and show him up as worthless, and he Is Not Having Any Of That anyways do you wanna hear my npd headcanons and why he is actually me and

#rave ramblees #hazbin hotel #i'm aware the first theory is probably correct lore-wise #but character-wise #it kinda is just..alastor..to hate anyone who could potentially look better than him #and i think he just likes to fuck with people honestly 😍 #like no you fucking idiots he doesn't have a father/daughter relationship with charlie out of nowhere #he's just acting like that to piss lucifer off #for the funsies #he's so me 😍 #like yes petty boy go #be petty and don't let anyone be superior to you you absolute KING #make that man feel SHAME for being an absent father YES!!!! #so YOU can be the good 'father' here #ugh i love him

[atissi]

okay very preliminary thoughts on mitski's new album BUT i think there's something with how "laurel hell" felt like a goodbye to the music industry (can't find the source but i remember reading that it was intended to be her last album under her contract) like i'm sorry anthony fantano but if you interpret the back half of "laurel hell" as being generic breakup songs you're missing like 80% of the context. to me TO ME it feels so clearly about her negotiating her relationship with fame, how she can't love her fans the way they love her, and how she feels like she sold her soul to her job, so the only thing to do is step away. but THEN "the land is inhospitable and so are we" was created after mitski decided to renegotiate her contract, specifically because she loved making music enough to deal with the negative aspects of the work. and then all the songs are about the ghost of love she can leave behind, despite the present pain or emptiness, and like. do you see it. do you see it.

#THE NARRATIVE. #beepbeep.txt #mitski #like you can definitely interpret everything through the lens of personal romantic relationships BUT. i think its even better #envisioning that she is speaking to her actual audience. the love they have for her and the love she is trying to communicate to them #i mean especially “i don't like my mind” just feels like a response to “love me more” where she begs to keep her job #specifically so she doesn't have to be alone with all these thoughts. so she can be witnessed #but then i feel like “the deal” and “when memories snow” are responses to “working for the knife” and “everyone” where her job leaves her #feeling emptied out of all this pain and love simultaneously. hence the ghostliness of the whole album #and her coming to terms with this feeling of emptiness. or actually. the loneliness of having no witnesses at all. after the music. #being king of her own land. if one would like to use that turn of phrase #IS ANYONE ELSE GOING INSANE OR.

[fayevalcntine]

The whole framing of Lestat as the sole symbol of patriarchy that fandom is so desperate to put him in doesn't work unless you deliberately ignore how he was also a victim of rape and abuse before he was turned. People want him to be fit into this strict role of "father figure/violent husband/perpetrator" that is only that and not even a whole person, and in doing so they need to push aside the fact that despite being his family's provider, he was also pushed into that role when his father forbid him from joining a monastery or gaining an education that he wanted. Lestat wanted to run away with a theater group as a kid, and actually managed to do so once Gabrielle gave him her blessing and monetary support in order to go to Paris. He didn't always want to be the provider, he was forced into that role and became despondent when he thought he would never get a chance to leave his home.

His new life prior to being turned is pretty much the antithesis to the whole "Lestat is a manly man who would sooner throw up than be compared to a woman" spiel: he lived with another man in Paris while also being an actor, having left his family and "responsibility" to them. The only family member he was ever close to was his mother, all the other male members shunned or ridiculed him. Add onto that the fact that his turning firmly placed him within the role of the damsel/victim: he's kidnapped from his bed by a stranger, taken into a tower and left to rot while being fed on for a week, before then being raped and violently turned all while never even being asked if he would consent to it in any normal circumstance. But you of course have to ignore all of this if you want him to only represent the aggressor/patriarch while Louis is the helpless unhappy matriarch of the family.

My issue isn't that I think Louis isn't a victim, it's that it's not unrealistic for Lestat to be an aggressor/abuser while also displaying traits that aren't regularly assigned to stereotypical depictions of male characters. He's abusive to Claudia while also having been a victim of abuse from his own family. He's not a good maker/teacher, but he also didn't even have one when he was turned. He's the provider/attempted protector of the family and seemed to like being that, while also having run away from his own family prior to this to act in a theater in Paris. He's a rich white man while also being obviously effeminate in public spaces, even to Tom's own bigoted humor.

Like Louis' own complicated story with being his family's benefactor and provider, you can't firmly place Lestat as being one thing or another in terms of gender ideals without deliberately ignoring parts about him that don't fit this. And I don't think it's an absolute necessity, when even in Louis' own story, Lestat isn't stripped of his effeminate mannerisms or behavior while also being the abusive maker/father/lover.

#interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #like even Louis doesn't try to act like Lestat was only ever the powerful 'daddy' of the house #if he was I doubt he'd even feature Lestat wanting to be king of mardi gras and doing that extremely flamboyant display #to the public's chagrin/disgust #the only people in awe of Lestat's peacocking are the women in ep7 like that man was NOT accepted by other rich men like Tom #and I don't point this out in order to dismiss the notion that he could be abusive/horrible #rather that it's completely possible for both things to be true? #also to the people that will likely go: but how does him being a victim of abuse negate him being a patriarch #idk maybe redirect your question to the Edwardian wife fanatics that think that no male character can be a victim unless he is assigned #the female while he is in a relationship with another man 🤷‍♀️ #I'll never forget how someone was also like 'Lestat fakes his femininity for the public' why? no one likes his effeminate ass anywhere #he holds more power by being white + rich than by being effeminate in order to ''''hide'''' his power which he never has or cared to #when Fenwick suggested to Louis to get a business under Lestat's name it's because Lestat being white could pass segregation laws... #not because his effeminate mannerisms grant him more favor.....

[thatonecrookedsmile]

I would say that, considering his history, he's not that wrong, but even I have doubts as to whether that would be right. But at the end of the day, this is just a joke that's been in my head for a while, sooooo…eh.

Oh hey, an attempt at a comic? Made by me? That I didn't give up during the process or lost all motivation? What was my only attempt at this, 2019? Damn, it's been a long time.

I thought about leaving this here without editing or any colors, just the natural ones from the paper and pencil. But something in my head said "HAHAHA, no" so I went back to work. I had to put this idea down on paper this time (literally). If another year passes without me being able to execute this idea, I would lose my mind.

This scenario was inspired by this video by Jehtt, inspired by the original meme by Windii. Credits to both of them.

For a long time I wanted to joke - especially on the anniversary - that I wanted Sammy to only have less than 5 seconds in the next game (or in other words, take his screen time in DR, and shorten it even more). You know, just for the funnies (unless..?) But,thanks to the news released at the beginning of January this year about The Cage, I legally can't do this joke anymore…this year. Don't worry, after that comes out (and finally gives Sam the screen time he wants,hopefully) and we start to crawl into the Bendy 3 production era, I'll make this joke when I can.

Anyway, happy birthday Sammy Lawrence. You may not be my favorite character in this franchise, but there are some things I can actually appreciate about you. Plus, you made me laugh a few moments before (you know what I'm talking about) so there's that.

And happy 7 years to Chapter 2, and by extension, Susie, Norman, Alice, the Searchers, (Johnny????), and Beta Ink Bendy. (I would mention Jack too, but he was only introduced with the release of CH4, so technically it's not his birthday yet, but I'll consider him here).

And now? May I be able to do something for CH4's anniversary. Wish me luck,cus I'll need it.

(it might be really late now, but it's still the 18th where I live, so it's still his birthday, so I still won)

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy and the dark revival #batdr #sammy lawrence #porter batdr #batdr porter #crookedsmileart #another fun fact: I thought of this comic with Wally in mind instead of Porter #Problem is I don't have any designs at the moment of Wally as his ink counterpart;and I didn't want to have to think of a design for him no #So I switched to Porter;I think it still fits #my relationship with Sammy is complicated #Sammy; as the human director of the music department? He is ok. He's not my favorite of the human cast; but I don't dislike him. He's fine #Sammy; the prophet? Eehhh. I prefer the human. #Like there are things I can actually appreciate about him. #Certain details that I find interesting. And his appearance in CH2; for what it is; it's not bad at all. #But in general? I'm not very interested in this guy (at least;this version of him) And his post-CH2 appearances don't really help his cause #I still believe they had no plan to bring Sammy back later in the story #but because of his popularity they decided “yep;let's bring him back”; problem is: I don't think they knew what to do with him after CH2 #and one might argue that they still don't know #Hopefully;The Cage will finally give Sammy the screen time he so desperately needs. #and maybe; then; I can finally start to like him a little more (okay; let's not go that far now) #Maybe his deaths in the franchise aren't his happiest moments; but they were definitely mine #HAHAHAHAAHHA (/j.....unless)

[lgbtlunaverse]

I cannot stress enough how MINOR of a petpeeve this is and how this is an interpretation that i'm comfortable with other people having even if i personally do not but I've noticed in a lot of 3zun fics, if jgy is holding smth back- generally his own feelings because his natural reaction to conflict is to make it Go Away and so if his emotional needs are the potential source conflict he will simply Not Look At Them.- That between nielan Xichen is the one who's worried and presses for comunication and Mingjue is like "Meng Yao is an adult if there was a problem he'd say so."

And I get why this is done, because nieyao's communication is generally atrocious and Xichen is the Gentle One who'd want to make sure a-yao is okay. So I get it. But. Canonically. The person going "I know a-yao, we trust each other, I don't need to ask him, he'll tell me on his own terms." is Lan Xichen and the one going "If Meng Yao doesn't want me to know something he WILL hide it from me and i'll have no idea because he's just that good at lying" is Nie Mingjue. And in a healthier nieyao dynamic, as these fics work under, that knowledge would not lead to automatic distrust but rather a desire to check in, to go: please remember that I value your honesty more than whatever you think you would burden me with by telling me what's going on.

Xichen also wants honesty and open communication ofc but his reaction to conflict is also to make it go away as fast as possible and he feels like saying it constantly feels accusatory so he wouldn't. If he asks if something is ok and a-yao smiles and goes of course er-ge checking again if it's really okay would be implying he was lying the first time!! He's showing his trust in him!! This is really refreshing if you're constantly assumed to be untrustworthy and meng yao appreciates it so much and it works really well 95% of the time but when it doesn't? Oh boy.

#examples of where that goes wrong *points at canon* #mdzs #3zun #nie mingjue #lan xichen #meng yao #jin guangyao #nieyao's communication is bad because they're going 'i CAN'T figure you out and so there's no point in trying' #and not because they think they understand the other perfectly #that's xiyao #who fall into this trap because they DO actually know each other better than almost everyone else #and so are completely blind to the few things they don't get about e/o #nielan can also do this #but it's more complicated cause i feel like they consciously DECIDE not to know each other sometimes #because they hold responsibilities to other people they must prioritize over each other. like so much canon nielan is wrapped up in duty #but idk exactly how that would translate if they did make the conscious decision to prioritize their relationship #and this post is about the yao-corner of the triangle and how they both interact with him so. will reserve those thoughts for another time

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

#uhhh what am I calling this?? #randomizedrobinsau #stephanie brown #oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this. #because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship #with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny #and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying #Tim Drake #tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard #reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass #Dick Grayson #He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this #But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him) #Damian al ghul #damian wayne #oh this is gonna kick ass #Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role #and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable #to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive #Jason Todd #Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass #I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time #But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through #TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring

[deeplyridiculouslyinlove]

I just rewatched 02 x 07 for the first time since finishing all the books and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like everyone is either on the side of (1) it was all a big ploy, or (2) that's it for Moiraine and Siuan they can never come back from this--but I really don't think either of those are true.

I think the most in character thing Moiraine could possibly do is forgive Siuan, for the following reasons:

Moiraine knows that she would do the exact same thing that Siuan did here--namely, sacrifice anything (even their relationship and their trust in one another)--for the sake of the world and their mission. And this shared goal, these compatible values, and this mutual understanding is literally what has kept them together despite 20 years of distance and secrecy from the world.

[MINOR BOOK SPOILERS] We see in one of the books that Moiraine believes she and Siuan have made their beds and will lie in them one day by becoming involved in the quest to find the Dragon -- I believe the way she phrases it is about payment coming due for all the rules they've broken and the secrecy etc. that they needed for their quest. If this is her attitude, she is not only willing to give up everything, but expects to give up everything. And she expects it of Siuan as well.

Siuan has already proven how much she would give up for their quest. She became Amyrlin despite, as we learn this same episode, how much she did not want to be trapped in the tower and could not see her future there. She gave up any semblance of a happy life (how she would picture it both with and without Moiraine!) for this quest.

In some ways, if Siuan had just let Moiraine take Rand through a waygate to Falme, it would have actually been a betrayal of their mission. Their mission wasn’t “get Rand to Falme.” It was “protect and train the dragon reborn.” Siuan feels the need to do that as acutely as Moiraine does--and critically, Moiraine knows this about Siuan.

This goes quadruple if Siuan actually did think Moiraine could be a dark friend. Siuan thinks Moiraine lied to her!! And Moiraine knows this too, since Siuan does at least have the chance to say "You lied to me!" Moiraine would understand that if there was any chance Moiraine had been turned or was compelled, Siuan had to try and stop her from taking Rand off to god knows where.

Literally just a few days earlier Moiraine had threatened to have Alanna take Lan’s bond by force if he stood in her way--aka, the way of her mission. At this very moment, Moiraine herself has spent days (weeks?) contemplating what it would mean to betray the autonomy and trust of those she loves most if it means saving the world. And she knows what side she's on.

When Moiraine says, “if you have ever loved me don’t do this” my heart shatters into a million pieces. But that line is not just ,“it will be a betrayal of our love and trust if you compel me." It is that, but it's also a call for Siuan to see Moiraine for MOIRAINE. She’s saying “you know me.” She’s trying to get her (Siuan) to see that what she (Moiraine) is doing is not about her shame and pride but about the mission. Because it is ALWAYS about the mission, Moiraine IS the mission, and Siuan loves her because of that, and Moiraine knows Siuan loves her because of that 

Moiraine clearly hesitates before going through the waygate. Her character isn't one to linger out of shock and betrayal. She lashes out and she puts up distance--we've seen this all season. Moiraine moves forward. So I read her looking at Siuan here as far more "I love you and I'm sorry [I can't help you? it's come to this? we can't reconcile?]" than "How could you?" or "You're a different person to me now." I’m not trying to minimize the violation Moiraine is also feeling in this moment, I just think that if the violation was her primary emotion she would likely behave differently. And if she can have this messy a set of emotions even in the heart of the moment, I have faith she can similarly hold multiple emotions later when reconciling.

The flashback scenes are so heartbreaking but they don’t have to mean that Moiraine and Siuan feel so betrayed and far from those versions of themselves that they will never be together again. Those flashbacks can also be saying “remember when we were those people?” Holding onto those versions of themselves is how they hold onto their love despite this scene.

Those flashbacks also remind us that their relationship in the show is like 50 years old. It is deep. People don't throw away 50 years of relationship without a conversation, even if there is a deep betrayal involved. And that's normal people--not even people who have given up absolutely everything for a cause that the relationship has now gotten wrapped up in. In the books, they are together for a few years and then seemingly go their separate ways when the Dragon is reborn. I don't think the show would have gone out of its way to deepen and lengthen this relationship just to end it so quickly and unceremoniously.

#anyway maybe I'm delusionsal #but it just seems absolutely impossible to me that they would spend that long building up their relationship to just be like okay poof bye #but I also think them working together and having this all be a big plot sort of cheapens the moment #plus that just isn't the type of show this is #and the episode titles have been more applicable to the following episode in season 2 for whatever reason #so daes damar can refer to the games everyone is playing in the finale #although I remain confused how siuan knew where to go and where the waygate is #ANYWAY I get why people are so distraught by what siuan does here but I just don't think moiraine will see it that way #moiraine is a morally complicated character despite being so sure of right and wrong and I just have to believe she sees that in Siuan too #wheel of time #moiraine damod #siuan sanche #siuan sanche waits for only one woman

[uncanny-tranny]

Like, the reason I'm always suspicious of people going, "I'm not transphobic, I can't be transphobic! I'm attracted to/date trans people!" is that there is a huge difference between seeing trans people as your inherent equal that you happen to sometimes also feel attraction toward and seeing them as objects to own and dehumanize through any means necessary.

And if the only reason you can see for why you aren't transphobic is that you're so attracted to us, then (in my eyes) you are the latter.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #inspired after seeing somebody go 'im not transphobic i was in a nine-year relationship with one of you!' #like... just because you date trans people doesn't mean you see us as your equals if that makes sense #the fact that you use that relationship to show that you aren't disgusted by us shows to me that you don't see trans people as equal humans #like no it isn't transphobia to be attracted to us inherently. but i think it is transphobic to be like... #...'this means i am enlightened/can never be trabsphobic because i date you people!!!'... #...attraction and not being transphobic doesn't work that way????

[saline-coelacanth]

I wanted to make a little post about the shipping in the Mirage Memory Au just cause I like thinking about them. Because with the fake memories going on, they don't remember each other so things are a little off between them.

So yeah, Zane and Kai have this sort of "soul mates" thing going on meanwhile Cole and Jay despise each other, so that's fun for them :3

Also as a side note, I thinks it's just safe to say that all of my aus have Bruise and/or Oppo unless stated otherwise. I can't help it, I'm obsessed with these ships lol.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #my art #mirage memory au #oppositeshipping #bruiseshipping #zane julien #kai smith #kai jiang #cole brookstone #jay walker #it's still valentine's day where i am so i guess you can consider this my valentine's day post if you want lol #anyway gonna go think about toxic yaoi bruise now /hj #i don't actually know if they count as toxic yaoi since their relationship DOES get better #but it's funny to call it toxic yaoi so yeah #also i kinda rushed these so if the drawing look messy that's why

[bonefall]

Feel free to ignore you've probably got a lot going on right now, but considering you know a lot about DOTC and Clear sky, I had a question...

We know that he's a terrible, misogynistic, woman beating and war mongering lunatic who was excused of all his actions because his equally misogynistic brother said " But-But he's nice! Deep down! This isn't the real him! "

But! In a world where the Hunters could write such a character, what do you think Clear Sky would look like as an actual sympathetic villain?

Idk if that makes sense, but what I've thought of doing is taking purely cannon Clear Sky and attempting to change him enough that he's still an antagonist, but not too far where only Reddit defends him.

I don't think he works as a sympathetic villain, on any level, ever. I think you're making a huge mistake to even try, and I have never seen an AU where it was done well nor am I interested in entertaining the thought.

Characters. Are. Tools. They exist to tell a story. The story that people tell me, by obsessing over some alternate universe where he was "ACTUALLY sympathetic and had a REAL redemption arc," is that they're not fucking interested in his dozens of victims. Nor do they actually care about the abusive impact he had on the minds and feelings of his family. They're JUST interested in Clear Sky himself.

Just like the Erins. Everything that happens in DOTC revolves around him. Everything. All his wives die so he can be sad about it. His brother defends all of his actions and BEGS you to sympathize with his pain so he can be 'redeemable.' One Eye comes out of nowhere so that there can be an example of "real" evil to contrast Clear Sky so he's less bad in hindsight.

The first three books of DOTC are bad, but the last three are fucking insufferable because SUDDENLY all that Gray Wing apologia pays off, and they take their main villain and throw him out a window. You CAN'T have "redeemable" Clear Sky and the plot of DOTC without dragging in someone else to drive the conflict, to BE the bigger threat to "unite" against. Slash and One Eye have to be conjured up out of thin air so Clear Sky can WHINE about how people only suck his toes instead of deepthroat them after he killed all their friends.

And yet, in spite of this absolute failure of an attempt, we continue to see this bullshit "redemption" be a mistake because Clear Sky is a fantastic villain, with major antagonist roles in nearly EVERY bit of follow-up material for DOTC that came after.

He's the most consistent monster in all of Warriors.

He's a fragile, egotistical, self-absorbed megalomaniac who ALWAYS sees himself as the victim, REFUSING to self-reflect and blaming everything else for all of his terrible choices. He will USE your love of him against you like it's a chain through your nose, step out of line and he will yank you into place with guilt trips, manipulation, public shaming, and violence.

He's a child abuser. He's a tyrant. He abandons the sick and disabled as soon as they're of no use to him, with grand speeches about "illness" and "weakness." He's a murderer who stands above the shredded corpse of his victim and bellows, "I'M NOT GREEDY! I'M JUST STRONG!"

And you'd write a "good" redemption arc for this, why?

Why are people so chronically unable to accept that there are LOTS of people like him, and you can't save your abuser? Why don't you ask yourselves why you're not interested in exploring Thunder, or Petal, or Gray Wing, and how his toxic influence impacts them? Why does the sympathy fall on Clear Sky? What about the DOZENS of victims who are dead by Book 3, and how THEY could have been saved?

Why ruin a perfectly good villain?

What's behind this trend where a billion people say to me, "Yes Clear Sky is a walking cavalcade of fucked up abuse apologia, and an incredibly realistic depiction of an abuser, but how would you change this while keeping it all the same?"

I wouldn't. You can't. It wouldn't be the same story, or it wouldn't be the same character. Never seen it done well, and I have seen it a lot. So I don't entertain this deeply frustrating "Well What If Clear Sky But Nice" impulse.

#The closest I'll ever get to that is Fallenleaf. And she lost it all #And spent years in the time-out tunnel #BAD KITTIES GO IN THE PEAR WIGGLER TO BE SUFFICIENTLY WIGGLED. #I don't think people in power typically change. If they do it's so rare it's not worth entertaining. Camel through the eye of a needle shit #and I mean ALL powers. this goes for abusive relationships too. I think they need to lose that power before they change. #When you have power. REAL power. You can fill those holes with it. You can force people to not leave. #so im actively hostile to stories that winge and cry about giving powerful people endless sympathy and chances #You've already shown me what you want to do with your power and as long as you keep it you haven't seen your consequences. #Power reveals. #It doesn't corrupt. It reveals. #DOTC hate #clear sky's redemption arc #If you're in an abusive relationship or under a terrible boss or in some other bad environment. You won't fix it. #You are not responsible for fixing it. #You can't fix it. #And they will not change. so GET OUTTA THERE #And that's who he functions best as. To me. #He's the bastard you need to escape. #And that's infinitely more compelling to me than Nice Clear Sky Attempt 32324 #I don't write stories that beg you to sympathize with tyrants and keep your heart open to some maybe-change on the horizon #I write stories where they ruin everything they touch and have to be forcefully yanked out of power before they hurt more people. #And also screw every related take that's like 'ohhh after 5000 years of having his toes sucked he regrets it a bit :(' #no he fucking wouldn't. he had his toes sucked for 5000 years. He's vindicated by how fondly he's remembered. #You can't fucking tell me that he doesnt REVEL in how violent the culture became. That him being offended about the clan's exile- #--was anything but him being offended his namesake was going away. That he wouldn't parade around like every choice he ever made was right. #''I made some vague mistakes which I will never name. BUT Im never wrong and always did it my way even if it was hard'' #If you haven't met a person like that I envy you. #bone babble #Nothing makes me mad quite like this character #Again I yell about his brother a lot because he's widely loved by the fandom

[alicentes]

You can't take my past, You can't take my history

You can't take my charm, You can't take my humor

Thinking you're in control, Thinking you'll change me, maybe rearrange me Think again, if that's your goal

Cause you can't take my sass, And you can kiss my ass

Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping.

#Lucy gray baird #tbosasedit #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thgedit #thehungergamesedit #the hunger games #tbosas #I just realised these lyrics can be applied to her relationship with snow #he was never going to hold Lucy gray into the version of her that he wanted #THIS is Lucy Gray and she won't let you take anything away from her #the fact that there's lines in snow's inner monologue like 'I don't think of her as having a life before me' #and 'I hope the capitol will let me keep her (after the games)' #and she's saying fuck you to that mentality #even if he killed her he didn't take anything from her. she wouldn't stick around to let him. #mine #**