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#real sad hours apparently lol

maple-writes · 1 year

Text

Trying to get back into the vibe of writing for the city of eventide and ended up with a kind of sad one.

Right, Ember was gone. For the week anyway, out again at sea until Sunday night at least. I stood in the doorway, dropped my bag and kicked off my shoes and tried to ignore the weight settling in my chest. She might not even come back on Sunday. She might be spending the night with Jess instead. It wouldn’t be the first time.

The kitchen light glowed soft in the dark, warm from old incandescent bulbs and silent besides the cupboards creaking every so slightly by my hand. Striker was busy too this week, at least the next few days. He and Kyra were getting away and they took Argent with them. She would have fun, probably. But it would be quiet around here. Too quiet.

My pot of water boiled slowly, gradually breaking up the outline of my reflection as bubbles started small and grew to break the still surface. Cirrus hadn’t been around for a while now. When was the last time I saw him? It had to be back in the spring when he’d come for the wedding. Had it really been that long? The days had been growing shorter for months now and he hadn’t made his way back since. I swallowed, gripping the edge of the counter and staring into the rolling boil. He… He hadn’t forgotten about me had he? Right?

No, he was probably busy. I didn’t know what he had to contend with when he was away or what he had to do in order to sneak away just for me. I… I wasn’t part of his every day life anymore. Not since he went home, wherever that really was. He used to visit more often though.

I turned off the stove and grabbed my jacket from the hallway.

It was cold at the beach but then again what had I expected? Fridged waves crashed on the fine pebbled shore, pushed by the bitter wind blowing from far out to sea. I bunched my shoulders and kept my hands deep in my pockets. Rocks shifted under my feet as I walked step by step along the water. Overhead clouds raced scattered across the night sky. Stars poked out between them for only brief seconds before the next blocked the sky once again.

Farther from the parking lot trees creaked and swayed in the wind, shuddering where they grew up past the highest tidal line. Cones and needles rained down wherever the wind took them, carried away across the littered ground. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to come here, tonight, when the trees groaned louder then they should and no one would know I was gone for days at least. Well, maybe someone would notice if I didn’t show up to work. Probably. But would anyone do anything? Would anyone know what to do?

The beach curved and I stopped. Ahead the bluff rose out from the beach, built on a vein of rock harder than that which eroded around it over years and years. Bare rock at the tip shone wet in the patchy moonlight. The grass I killed didn’t have a chance to grow back. The soil it held together washed away in the winter’s storms leaving barren granite where patches of moss had only just started to creep up onto again. It hadn’t recovered like the lake in the woods. It stood scarred even still. Trees once made their way near all the way to the lookout but not anymore. The grass gone, the soil eroded, and the soil eroded left nothing for their roots. Even those which survived grew bent now, no longer shielded from the brunt of the gusts buffeting from the sea.

Sometimes Striker still couldn’t look me in the eye.

I swallowed, my throat tight. On stormy days and windy nights he was still distant. Cancelled plans, shortened conversations, hesitant touch… He never used to carry an umbrella with him and now he rarely left home without one at least tucked away in his car. It was hard not to notice the worried, knowing glances Kyra cast his way if I accidentally raised my voice just a little, be it in excitement or accident.

He'd never gone away for his birthday before either. Their trip hadn’t seemed to be just for that but he wouldn’t be here for it coincidence or not.

A gust of wind cut through my jacket and I shrunk, bracing myself against the cold that bit at my cheeks. Salt air pulled at my hair and ocean damp seeped through to my bones. What did I hope would happen by coming here? I forced my eyes away from the bluff and out to the dark ocean horizon, squinting against the winds. There was nothing for me here, not tonight. There would be no one here to find me, to bring me back home and why would they? I’d done enough to everyone already. They shouldn’t have to look after me too.

It was probably a good thing Argent went with Striker and Kyra. If she followed me out here tonight… Would I be able to hold her off? Would I be able to contend with her tonight or would I let her win? Would I let her thirst for guilt and shame take me alive?

Maybe, did I deserve it? At least a little bit? Maybe she had a point…

No. I shook my head out and turned around. I couldn’t afford to start thinking believing her, for both our sakes. Shivering I walked back the way I came with the bluff at my back, burning into my shoulders as if staring me down. It knew what I did. The rocks and long-lived trees would know what I did as long as they existed in this world. They knew. Striker knew. Everyone close to me knew and would never forget what I did to them.

They didn’t need me anymore either, did they? Ember had Jess, Striker had Kyra, Cirrus had his old life back… Argent, she didn’t really need me either did she? Ginger could probably help her better than I could, or would know someone. Striker seemed to like having her around too. She could probably stay with him if she needed to, if anything were to happen to me but then again would it be fair? Striker more than spend his share of time looking after people like her, like me.

My car was still the only one in the lot parked off to the side. Few other cars joined me on the road home either, alone under the pattern of glowing streetlights shining as if there only for me tonight. The door echoed when it closed on the quiet street, my footsteps joined only by the scurried rummaging of a racoon rustling hedges in the alley. Footsteps on the cement stairs to the basement door echoed hollow besides the jingling of my keys. The lock turned with my key but I paused before opening the door.

A perfect white moon snail shell sat placed in the center of my doormat.

My eyes watered when I picked it up and brought it inside, holding it close and only setting it down beside my alarm clock when I finally went to sleep.

#the city of eventide #not proofread so good luck #Asher sang #real sad hours apparently lol #if i do end up doing a sequel to the city of eventide #the whole idea of Asher figuring out who he is and how to grow past what happened at the end of the last one might be a major theme #but also idk much about it yet

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

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our beloved summer (05) | jjk

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol

rating: PG-15

word count: 9.5k

note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown

Rockland - Gracie Abrams

One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.

After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.

Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.

It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home.

Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.

That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.

Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.

As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night – you feel a palpable shift between the two of you.

When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.

“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too.

You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones.

Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”

“Yoongi…”

“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”

You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.

Yoongi could be the good change you need.

Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”

Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”

“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.

“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”

“Yoongi…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.

In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”

“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”

Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”

He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.

Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.

“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.

“Come with you where?”

“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”

“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”

“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”

You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”

When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate. He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.

“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.

Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.

“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.

You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.

“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”

One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.

You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!

That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.

Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.

“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”

“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”

You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”

Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”

“Why?”

“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”

You frown. “Tae’s sick?”

“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”

You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.

You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.

Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.

It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other?

You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.

You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”

“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”

Park Jimin…

Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”

“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”

“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”

You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.

You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.

“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.

“Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.

You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.

“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.

“No,” comes his simple reply.

“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”

“But I’m not sick.”

“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”

Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”

You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher.

Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.

But then again, you were tricked into coming.

Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.

“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”

“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel.

“About Yoongi and… all that.”

“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung.

He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.

It all sounds so easy in theory.

Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”

Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.

You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.

One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.

“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.

He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”

You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.

With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”

You feel him exhale. “Of course.”

Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content.

You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.

When it rains, it pours.

Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.

You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.

Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all.

Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?

It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.

But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.

You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.

The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.

But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.

And then he stopped.

You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.

You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.

“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”

“Should I order us fried chicken then?”

“And soju. Get some soju too.”

Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.

After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.

Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.

Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.

Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop.

You’re such a fucking hypocrite.

You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.

He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”

“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”

Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”

Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”

Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.

“Yoongi– what?”

Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.

“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”

Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”

Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?

Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something… happening between the two of you.

Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”

Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”

“How would you know?”

“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know.

“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”

“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”

“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”

Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”

Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”

“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”

“Don’t go to Tae about this.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.

“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”

“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”

“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”

“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”

Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial – get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”

He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”

Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”

Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do.

But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?

Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces.

Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.

It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.

“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”

[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.

[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday

You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he?

You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.

[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me

[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)

[10:58] You: the fits look good

[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits

[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway

[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?

[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?

[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?

[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy

[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(

You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?

Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.

[11:22] You: the model looks good too

You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?

It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.

“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”

Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.

“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”

“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”

It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”

“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”

You shrug, saying nothing.

“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”

“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”

“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”

Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.

“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”

You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”

You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.

What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”

He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.

You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.

“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”

Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?

You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”

You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.

Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.

Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.

Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does.

You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.

“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”

It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.

“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”

“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”

Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.

Fuck. You’re letting him win again.

“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago? When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”

“W–what?”

“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”

If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do.

“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.

He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?

Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.

He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.

There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?

He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.

The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn’t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?

But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.

Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?

Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.

You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.

Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.

Because you’re still holding onto something.

Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.

The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.

What a world this is.

Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?

Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.

You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here.

“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”

You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”

This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.

“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean.

“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”

Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.

It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.

“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do.

You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment.

When he speaks next, you want the world to end.

“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”

641 notes · View notes

linonyang · 11 months

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BF!SKZ WHEN YOU ARE IN STUDY MODE [hyung line]

read maknae line version here

pairings: hyung line x gender-neutral!reader (written separately per member)

genre: fluff, very light angst, college au

warning: mentions of food and insects

word count: 1.6k words (390-400 words per member)

tag list: @awooghan @hwangsify @xiaoderrrr @cosmic-railwayxo

note: i impulsively wrote this since i am on the brink of getting insane bc of this one project i have... so don’t mind me /hj i’ll probably write the second part/maknae line next week when i am done with the mentioned project lol i hope you enjoy this short hc!

☆ CHAN

since he’s a guy who loves to stay awake all night, it’s no problem for him to join your cramming and procrastinating in projects and exams!

if not, he might be the little devil on your shoulder to stay awake with him, instead of the other way around (which was the original plan) :p

he’ll do everything to not make your eyes close in the study hall!!!

if you’re into coffee, he’ll bring you a cup of coffee of the biggest size from your favorite cafe nearby

or if you’re feeling like eating something sweet to spike up your sugar a little bit, he might buy all of your favorite candies and desserts (including your favorite cakes and pastries) in small portions

so you can have a little bit of everything :>

chan will instantly embrace you if you’re on the brink of breaking down

you can cry on his shoulder (literally) and have him as your pillow whenever you want to give yourself short breaks after long hours of studying

and he’ll never tell this to you: he really enjoys you staying beside him when you guys do your own things

he just finds it comforting‌…

he loves how you don’t feel bothered when there’s someone beside you (him) when you usually prefer to study alone on a normal day

it’s like he’s an exception, he really loves the idea of it :* he loves to joke that you’re so down bad for him! (let’s be real, he’s not lying </3)

so you don’t have to stress out all on your own, chan’s there with you to feel less pressured and worried about your incoming exams and deadlines!

when chan notices that trouble is slowly surfacing on your face, he’ll talk to you a bit to lower your anxiety

he really doesn’t want you to feel very stressed!!!! he hates seeing any negative expression on your face!!!

he’ll feel sad too when you feel sad :(((

being the knight in shining armor, as usual, he’s willing to bring you home whenever you feel like doing so <3

(and you can’t stop him from doing that, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without knowing that you arrived safely at your home or dormitory!)

chan will definitely send a message that you should not extend your studying at home because you did a lot already when you were with him!

☆ MINHO

minho will probably do everything to make you consider studying in his home

so you can not drown in instant food and fast food and have delicious meals cooked by him from time to time instead <33

also, his cats!!!!!!!

he’ll probably bring soonie, doongie, and dori near you so you can have some comfort whenever he’s not in the room with you, whenever he has to cook, take a shower, and all that jazz

and the three cats seem to make your day every time

it’s like minho communicated with them beforehand about how can you study healthily

when you’re sitting and reading the papers on the desk for too long, one cat will block your way and sit on the papers and books

then another will jump on your lap and ask for your love and affection (just begging you to pet them :D)

and one will constantly meow behind you, already on the bed, so you can take a good nap

when you do get to nap with all of minho’s cats on his bed, he always arrives at the wrong time, apparently

you’re asleep! but he cannot help but feel butterflies in his stomach because you look so cute napping with his beloved kitties :’>

as you instructed him before, he’ll wake you up once you reach your time limit

then he’ll join you to study once you’re back at his desk! :D

minho will definitely pet the cats beside you when you’re endlessly typing on your laptop

just so he can look after you because he does not want you to lose track of his so-called “healthy study session” for you

he’ll definitely scold you when he’ll hear your stomach growling in the middle of the night

because “how can you study with no source of energy?!?!”

he always reminds you to not overwork and don’t pass your limits

when you want to take a longer snooze (especially when it shows from your constant yawning and eye rubbing), he will not hesitate to bring all of your materials to the couch outside of his room

and drag you to his bed!!!!! so he can cuddle you all night and whisper all of his manifestations for your good results in school!!! he believes you will ace the exam, and you did so perfectly in all of your tasks!!!

☆ CHANGBIN

this guy…

oh when you ask him to accompany you to the library

he’ll drop all of his things and find you in an instant!

changbin will take your studies seriously as if he’s the one studying :p

a strict but loving kinda person

he’ll not hesitate to scold you if he sees you sidetracking! lmao </3

but he wouldn’t do that when he knows you’re taking a break

when you feel a little disoriented or frustrated, changbin will give you energy with his powerful hugs!

“my hugs are proven to give you a better mood and more motivation to do whatever you want!!!”

“what if i don’t want to study anymore?”

“that is not included, alright?!”

(he didn’t lie about his hugs making you feel better and energetic again tho ;D there was an immediate effect right when he hugged you tightly for a solid minute)

he does serve as a distraction sometimes because he will lovingly stare at you when he’s at the peak of feeling bored

but when he is dealing with something, changbin will unintentionally bother you by making noises

in conclusion, he gives you a realistic feel of what being a student is

it makes you reassured‌… that how you’re facing academics is considerably normal?

even if changbin did promise you he’ll make sure you’re doing well, it seems like he’s the one who needs some guidance

when he’s aware that he’s not tracking you that frequently anymore, he stops what he’s doing and goes back to staring at you with heart eyes

“how are you doing?” and some good sliding of his water jug on the table to you because you can’t be dehydrated!

he steals your notebook of reminders and asks you if any of the pending deadlines and exams listed should be crossed out already

changbin will drag you out of the library when you have crossed enough pending tasks in your notebook! and take you on a scrumptious dinner date because he knows you deserve it for all the work you’ve done :>

will always pay for your dinner, even if you’re willing to pay

and will probably baby you when he discovers you finished all of your work

“aww let’s order another plate of that food we ordered! you need more good food after that exhausting study time!”

“but my stomach is full already, binnie </3”

☆ HYUNJIN

hyunjin is one worried baby when you tell him you’re in “super study mode”

you refuse to believe that your boyfriend is behaving like a mother

he will visit you and shower you with so much love

it’s like… he wants to lessen your worries :’<

he is willing to do all the chores so you can study without interruptions!!!

he is also willing to feed you so you don’t have to get out of your seat!!!

hyunjin will always be on the go when you need something

his hugs and kisses? he will drag you to your bed and give you some!

his words of encouragement? he has prepared a long list in his head to give you more determination to finish your work!

will never get out of mom mode until you’re done

whenever you update him on your progress, he always congratulates you as if you won a life-changing award

“i am so proud of you!! :DDD” and clapping loudly

that’s because he knows how grueling studying is, and you should be congratulated for being hardworking

he loves to see you snort and laugh at his antics, even if they’re very exaggerated

and he moves and acts exaggeratingly just so you don’t have any direct source of the negative atmosphere

when he notices that you’re slowly sighing heavier than the previous one, he rushes to your side and looks after you literally

he will endlessly peck your face and stroke your hands with his thumbs

“you are doing so well! don’t say that you barely did anything today! you did so much already and i saw all of it!”

if hyunjin thinks you’ve done so much already, he’ll tell you to stop and invite you to take a walk outside with him

it’s a win-win situation because you get to relax by looking at the view of the park and hyunjin can capture beautiful photos and find inspiration for his paintings :DDD

plus, that’s the perfect time for hyunjin to lighten up your mood

“i already washed your toilet btw, i saw a cockroach walk towards me while i was scrubbing! ugh, worst experience ever!”

“what did you do?”

“i hit it with a toilet scrubber too lightly, it was still alive so i ran out of the bathroom for a bit :’D heh”

“where the cockroach went to then?!?! i don’t want cockroaches in my home?!”

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lovemyromance · 2 months

Note

So I finished the books of acotar and Im confused, WHAT IS THERE BETWEEN AZRIEL AND GWYN?? I read the bonus chapter of acosf, but that just showed me more of ELAIN AND AZRIEL. Im literally seeing people saying "azriel and gwyn had more chemistry than elain and azriel" LIKE HUH??? like where did this ship come from? I didnt even know about this bonus chapter until I came to tiktok. I thought gwyn was just a side character... I had no idea this was a ship because there is nothing between them that I saw. 😭

Yeah I literally have no idea. I cheated a little when I was reading ACOWAR and looked up fanart before I finished the series. I saw Azriel with this redhead and was so so confused. I thought hm maybe he gets a mate after the war.

Then I read ACOFAS. Was really shipping Elriel but was sad that his fan art was with some redhead other girl. I genuinely at one point wondered if it was Vassa because she was the only other redhead female character I could think of other than Amarantha 😅

It was bothering me so I asked my friend (who was the reason I read the series in the first place). She said she had no idea who that woman was.

And I thought she was just lying to me to avoid telling me spoilers lol so I continued reading. Imagine my surprise when I finished ACOSF, got even more invested in Elriel, and still had no answer.

Then I actually did a deep dive online and found out that it's GWYN they're shipping with Azriel? I was so confused. I asked my friend if there was another book, why is this Gwyn Azriel ship a thing?

She didn't remember who Gwyn was because she read ACOSF immediately when it first came out and hasn't reread since, but that's beside the point.

Then I did some more digging. Apparently a bonus chapter existed which made things more clear? I read it. Still did not understand where the ship came from. If anything, it only cemented Elriel endgame for me.

I said okay, maybe I'm being biased? I made my friend read the BC - she did not even know it existed and she literally has been reading the series since it came out in like 2015 or whatever

But again, that's beside the point.

And before anyone even argues, she was a strong Elucien supporter and would argue with me "no they are mates Elriel is not a thing". I made her read the bonus chapter and she immediately switched to Elriel. She said "yeah ok - there's no going back from that one". She also, did not view the Gwynriel interaction as romantic in any way.

I really don't know where Gwynriel came from. Like I've said over and over again - I understand Elucien. They are canonically mates. A mating bond is all they have, but until disproven, it still counts.

Gwynriel doesn't have that. They barely even interact on the page.

I don't know if it's because people hate elain, or they ship Azriel with themselves and they can't relate to Elain so "hey, here's another attractive straight girl boss I can pretend is me", or they ship Elucien and need Azriel out of the way 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gwynriels literally KNOW there is nothing romantic between the two currently. Their entire ship is based on this concept of "well it could happen" or "what if". That's why I don't take it seriously. They have very limited info about both Gwyn and Azriel and they have allowed their imaginations to fill in the blanks. Then the ship gained popularity and their imaginative scenarios got repeated enough that people began to think that was actually in the books. Then they got confident and began to yell their made up scenarios louder in the fandom.

Most of Gwynriel is rooted in imaginative headcanons. They saw any mention of Gwyn or Azriel and began to fill in the blanks themselves. Aka Azriel trying to excuse himself by saying "I have to go over daggers with Gwyn" suddenly wasn't just an excuse and actually a secret planned date between the two where she got "private dagger lessons" and they talked for hours or whatever. It became real to them even if it didn't exist in the books. They didn't do any fact checking before repeating their HCs over and over until it became the truth to them. And then they went on other shipping posts and started fights over their fake recollection of canon.

Literally just last week, I saw a post about how Gwyn only blushes for Azriel she has feelings for him. That never happened. She blushed for Rhysand, not Azriel.

But the thing is, just because you say something louder than someone else, doesn't mean you are correct.

I really don't engage with Gwynriels because half of them have admitted they haven't even read the books, just the bonus chapter. Or they've just read ACOSF.

Either way, I just see it as a crackship. If they ship it because they find it cute, sure whatever. If they're more active in the fandom, I just scroll past their posts and don't engage. I don't see where they are coming from and they're not going to see Elriel so there's no point trying to convince anyone at this point.

#elriel #azriel #elain archeron #pro elain #elain x azriel #acotar #elain #antigwynriel

52 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 8 months

Text

the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter twenty-three

A/N: it took me a whole year to write this next chapter, and i am so sorry about that. i can't make any promises as to when the next chapter will come out, but i promise i'm seeing this story thru. mark my words on that. hopefully this long ass chapter makes up for the long ass wait lol lmk what you think and i'll see you guys much sooner than a year !!

story description

trigger warning: angst, cursing, mentions of abuse, SMUT, cliffhanger (wow i'm the worse for this lol)

word count: 7320

~~~~~~~~~~~

It was hard to get to sleep after the conversation Tara and I had. I slept on and off all night, never feeling fully rested. I finally woke up mid-afternoon, the sun pouring through the cracks of the almost covered window.

Even though Tara assured me that I wouldn't die, I couldn't help but feel deep within me that that wasn't going to be the case. The idea alone shook me to my core, draining all the energy out of me.

I spent most of the day in Colby's room, lying in bed. Unmoving. I could hear everyone outside coming in and out of the apartment. Colby would occasionally poke his head in, seeing if I was alright. I would just close my eyes, pretending I was asleep. I had no energy to talk about what was going through my mind. Hours passed and it wasn't until I looked at my phone and saw the time that I realized I needed to get ready for work soon. I groaned, getting out of bed, and leaving his room. I slowly trudged to the bathroom.

"You okay, baby?" Colby called from the living room.

I hummed out a response, hoping he heard me. I finished, washed my hands, and left the bathroom. I sighed deeply as I walked towards the kitchen, figuring I should make something to eat before getting ready.

"Jade..." I turned towards Colby, his arms lightly reaching out and his hands grazing my wrists.

"What?" I whispered; my voice unable to speak louder.

Colby cupped my face, making my look into his eyes. "Babe, you look... so tired. Are you okay?"

The softness in his voice and touch made my heart ache. My body felt so heavy, my mind going both a million miles a minute and quiet all at once. I slid my arms around Colby, almost collapsing against him. Tears welled up in my eyes, my vision blurring. Colby rubbed my back, soothing me as I cried into his chest.

"I-I just...." I stuttered, blubbering.

"What, Jade? What is it?" He cooed.

"Every time things feel like they are calming down, they just get worse. Nothing seems to be going right for me, for us. I-I don't know how much more I can take." I shook, my cheeks soaked with tears.

"Try to calm down, Jade. It's gonna be okay." He assured me.

"But how do you know that? I mean, every time I try to catch a break, everything blows up in my face." I pulled back, looking up at him. "I try to take off work to relax, a 500-year-old vampire comes into town and toys with me. And then his brother decides he wants to fuck around with me too. And not only me, but you! Ronnie is constantly getting on my case, and then Mike tries to kill me. And yesterday every vampire I came into contact with was acting weird, only for me to find out that I apparently smell better without my necklace on. And that just adds a whole 'nother layer to all of this."

I finally tried catching my breath, no longer sad - but infuriated. "Am I cursed? That's what it feels like."

Colby shook his head. "I don't think you are. I think you are one person going through a lot in a short period of time that needs a real, serious break. And after what Tara said to you last night, I can only imagine what's going on inside your head."

I scrunched up my face. "How do you know what Tara said?"

"I may have... listened in on your conversation." He blinked.

"Colby." I whined, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"What? You're lucky I haven't locked you up inside my bedroom forever until all this blows over," he joked. "Besides, I don't want to be kept in the dark."

"I would have told you eventually." I argued, somewhat telling the truth.

"Are you sure about that? Because I have a sneaking suspicion that wouldn't happen given the information Tara shared with you about Kat and Xiomara." He lowered his voice, getting close to me.

"Don't tell the rest of the group. Kat begged me not-" I started, placing my hands on his chest.

Colby cut me off, cupping my hands into his. "I don't plan on it. I know there are a lot of vampires out there that would kill Kat for even being a witch, let alone being related to Xiomara. Besides I owe her. She did try to save me."

I exhaled, lowering my head. "I wish I could go somewhere, get away from all of this."

"Even out of the city would be better than this. Especially this dump." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in.

"It's not too bad here. It's everything outside that's bad." I mumbled.

Colby held me in his arms tightly, rubbing my back soothingly. I breathed in his scent, warm and comforting. I knew I was safe in his arms. All I wanted was to freeze time and stay like this forever.

"You should call out." He stated plainly.

I huffed. "I don't know if I can. Roger would be really pissed-"

Colby scoffed. "Fuck Roger. Call out. Worse case he fires you."

"Some of us need to have a job that isn't hidden in the shadows or the apartment of a nightclub, Colby." I sassed.

"You can always work here if need be. God knows Kevin needs the extra hands when he can." Colby mentioned.

I paused, realizing he was right, "...That's true, I guess."

His face lightened. "So call out."

"Okay. I won't call though. I don't feel like talking. I'll just text Roger." I grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

"Sounds like a plan," he smiled, leaving the kitchen. "I have to step out for a minute and make a call. I'll be right back."

Colby walked out the apartment door, pulling out his phone as he closed it. I texted Roger that I wasn't coming in. I turned my phone on silent mode, not wanting to hear from him or Ronnie about me not showing up tonight.

I don't know why I was concerned about a job that barely paid me enough to live. With all the shit going on in my life right now, they're lucky I even show up at all.

Colby came back in a moment later, grinning. "Jade, go pack a bag."

"What? Why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I want to take you somewhere, and we might be there for a bit." He explained, rubbing my arms sweetly.

"Well, where is 'there'?" I questioned.

"I can't tell you. That will ruin the surprise." Colby turned me towards the bedroom, slapping my ass lightly, "Now, go pack."

I didn't have too many clothes to pack in the first place, so it only took me a couple minutes to get ready. I changed into nicer clothes and walked out of Colby's room. He went in his room, grabbing a few things together, and was ready within a minute.

Vampire speed... must be nice.

Colby grabbed my hand, walking me out of the club's back entrance. He waved at Kevin, who gave him a casual salute as we passed. As we got outside, he pulled me to the garage across the street that was owned by the club.

"What are we doing over here?" I asked.

"Well, we gotta drive to get to our destination so I figured we could use my car." Colby replied, pulling out his keys and unalarming a car in the back corner of the garage. I followed him towards a car wrapped in a tarp.

"Is it a nice one?" I quired.

"Um," he shrugged. "I think it is."

Colby pulled the tarp off of his car, and underneath was an older model Toyota Corolla. It was a muted red color, and the interior was a beige nude color.

I stared over the top of the car at him. "This is the car you drive?"

"I don't really drive all that often anymore. But when I do... I ride in style." He opened his arms wide, gesturing to the car with a playful smile.

"Does Kevin not pay you enough to afford a nicer car? Hell, even a newer one?" I glanced over the car, biting my lip.

"Hey now, don't make fun of the honeywagon. She's gotten me very far in life, thank you very much." He rebutted jokingly.

"The honey-what?" I deadpanned.

"You heard me." Colby smirked, his dimples appearing for a brief moment. "Now, are you gonna keep making fun of my car, or are you going to get in?"

I rolled my eyes, opening the passenger door. I slid in, adjusting my seat a bit, and dropped my bag into the back seat. Colby got in, putting his bag in the back as well, and started the car immediately.

"I'm surprise she starts." I jeered lightly.

Colby rubbed the steering wheel, "Just because she's from 2007 does not mean she doesn't run like a champ."

"2007? Wow, that's... a long time ago." I snickered.

"Hey, when I bought this car in 2009, it was pretty new then." He responded.

My eyes widened. "You bought this car back in 2009?"

Colby backed the car up and out of the garage, starting us on our journey. "Yeah. When I turned 18, I found out that my mom left me a good amount of money. It wasn't enough for me to get my own place, but it was enough to pay for this car. I pretty much spent all of her money on this."

My stomach dropped, my previous words hitting me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made fun-"

"It's okay Jade," he chuckled at my expression. "You ain't the first to rag on the honeywagon. Mike has given me shit over it for years. But, like I always tell him, it's sentimental."

I paused before continuing, knowing this was a touchy subject. "What happened to your mom? ...If you don't mind me asking."

Colby swallowed, his eyes remaining on the road. "My mom died of a heart attack when I was 10, and my dad had died back when I was a toddler, so I never really knew him. So, I didn't really have any other family around... besides Aunt Susan. She was also legally my godmother, so she was obligated to take me in. She got the house and everything else my mom left, even though most of it was left for me."

I lowered my voice, "The vision I saw of her and you. She grabbed you by your throat so aggressively. How often was she... like that?"

"The one moment you did see was basically how every day went. She always treated me like I was a burden, even back when I was a kid. She constantly belittled me, told me I wasn't good enough, and compared me to my mother in the worse way. It made me sick living there. And I had plans to move out as soon as I turned 18, but things never lined up well enough for me." He laughed bitterly, "And of course she wanted to kick me out the moment I was an adult, but she couldn't afford to live in the house without my extra income so once I finished high school, I moved to the basement and basically turned it into a little apartment. I never saw her unless I had to and all I did was go to work and come home. And that was my life for a long time."

"Did you have friends?" I inquired.

"I mean, I had a couple, but none that were actually close. Plus, once vampires came out to the public, a lot of people saw me as a pariah because of my aunt." He informed.

I frowned. "Why?"

"She was known in our town, affectionally, as a blood whore." Colby drove us onto the highway, leading us away from the city.

"Jesus..." I whispered, surprised.

"When vampires first came out, a lot of people were scared of them. But my aunt wasn't one of them. She was very... welcoming, to say the least. And she found out very quickly that vampire's blood was something worth befriending over." He remarked, his tone dull.

"She used to drink vampire blood?" I gaped.

"All the time. She used to give her blood to vampires in exchange - sometimes for money, sometimes for their blood. She became an addict to it, to some degree. Vampire blood, if drank a lot and in high quantities, can cause the person to feel high. So, she did that a lot of the times. She had a lot of vampire boyfriends. None of them ever stayed around too long. Just long enough for her to get her fix and then move onto the next..." His voice fell off for a moment, coming back more emotional; angrier. "Until Xaiver."

I reached over, placing my hand on Colby's forearm, rubbing it softly.

"She didn't exactly hang around with the best vampires, but he was especially sketchy. A lot of local vampires didn't fuck with him, but of course she still found her way to him. I found out later what happened with her and him. Because he was a dealer, he would sell his blood in vials. They met in some bar, and a week later went out on a ‘date’. He gave her a vial of his blood. And he expected that in return she would do the same the next date. But there never was another date. She just stole his blood and dipped. Hid in the house for two weeks in case he was out hunting for her - which he was. Eventually he heard that she had a kid that she took care of and that's how he found me." He glared at the road ahead, his jaw tense.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that." I consoled; the flashes of his memory played in my mind.

"It was such a weird feeling... turning into a vampire. I had heard stories of what it was like, and none of them explained it the way I felt it. Everything became sharp and intense. I was seeing colors I couldn't see before, lights were brighter, everything smelled so strong, and I could hear everything around me all at once. And the emotions - those are what really took me by surprise. I felt.... everything," Colby took a ragged breath. "Anything I had ever held back, anything I ever thought, I felt it. In that very moment. It was all so overwhelming. That word doesn't even do it justice."

I laced my fingers with his free hand, giving him a squeeze. "I can only imagine."

"I think my powers also made it ten times worse, at least for me. The moment I touched my aunt... I saw everything about her. Her whole entire life flashed before my eyes. Everything she ever felt or thought came to me. And I hated every second of it." He fumed lowly, sliding his hand out of my own for a moment.

I stayed silent, just watching Colby. His eyes remained on the road, but they were intense, dark. His one hand gripped the steering wheel while other rested softly on my thigh.

"I always thought that she didn't love me. I knew for a fact she didn't like me, you didn't need supernatural powers to know that. But I had hoped she cared, even a little. And there were times in her life she did. But deep down she never... wanted me," he confessed, his voice almost falling to a whisper. He swallowed and continued, "She was extremely jealous of the life my mom had. My mom had a great husband until he passed, she had a house, a family - everything my aunt wanted but could never get for whatever reason. And I was just a reminder of that. She gladly took the house, the car, my mom's money, but she didn't really want me. And knowing that she was actually kind of glad when my mom passed... I couldn't have stopped myself even if I wanted to."

"I don't blame you for what you did." I stated, looking into his eyes.

He blinked, turning back to the road. "When the police showed up, I told them that a vampire came in and attacked us both. They believed me because of her history, took her body to the morgue, and that was it. I paid for a funeral I didn't attend and buried her. I sold the house and any other possessions I could and never turned back."

"What happened to Xavier?" I uttered.

"I killed him before I left town. He was the second person I ever killed." He revealed.

I furrowed my brow, "He was hardly a person. He was a monster for what he did to you."

"Sometimes I regret killing either one of them. But then I think most likely if I hadn't, someone else would've. They both messed around with a lot of strange people..." He trailed off.

I tried to change the subject, sensing that Colby was getting tired of talking about this one. "What age did you get turned at?"

"22. I was about to be 23." He answered.

"How old would you be now?" I thought out loud.

"I would be 28. I was only born in '91." He stated.

"Oh my God... I'm dating an older man?" I gasped. "Sexy."

He finally cracked a genuine smile. "Why don't you get some rest? We have a long drive ahead of us."

"You still haven't told me where we're going." I argued light-heartedly.

"Well, clearly it's up in the mountains." He pointed to the mountains in the distance.

"I can tell that. But where?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You'll see eventually." He teased.

"You never fully explained why you're driving there. Couldn't we have vampire ran?" I questioned.

"It's a couple hours away, and while I'm strong I don't think I could run that far. Plus, I wanted to spend time with you, even if you're just asleep." He turned to me, giving me a wink. "So, get some rest."

I snuggled into my seat, leaning back a bit and staring out the window. The quiet sound of the radio and Colby's breathing lulled me to sleep in no time.

~\/\/~

"Baby, it's time to get up. We're here." Colby whispered, his soothing voice waking me.

I opened my eyes slowly, trying to focus them. The lights of the car illuminated the forest around us. And a few feet from the car was a cabin. A little porch with two red chairs rested on the outside with a set of stairs leading up to it. The cabin looked well taken care of, the light on the outside inviting us in. Little white flowers adorned the path leading to the stairs and around the whole property.

I got out of the car, my eyes widening at the sight. It was still dark out, but the sun would be rising soon, the sky a lighter blue than before. I turned towards Colby, who had both of our bags in his hands. He raced up the stairs, entering the cabin and turning the lights on. I walked up the path to the house, gliding up the stairs and into the cabin. I took in all of the little details of the place: the dark wooden interior, the rock wall fireplace, the cozy deep red couches, the soft oak table right outside of the kitchen. Everything about this place was beautiful. The house even smelled good, a mix of cinnamon and mahogany.

"So, what do you think?" He breathed almost nervously.

I gazed around the cabin, trying to take in every detail that I could. "Colby... how did you get a place like this last minute?"

"Well, Kevin knows a guy that owns this house. And I asked him to ask the guy if it was okay for us to come up here. And he said it was fine. We've all come up here before, sometimes just to get away from the city." Colby stepped closer to me. "Did you notice the white flowers outside?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah I did. Wait... are those-?"

He cut me off, smiling. "Angelica californica, to be exact."

"They grow here?" I questioned.

"Naturally, but we also add to the population occasionally." He joked, his dimples appearing.

"So... no vampires?" I whispered.

He replied back just as quiet. "No vampires. Except for me, of course."

I jumped up, hugging him tightly. "Oh Colby. This is the best present ever. Thank you."

"Of course, baby. You deserve this, and so much more." He pulled back, his arms still wrapped around me, "So, the closest cabin is about a mile away. Same with the closest town. I figured in an hour or two we can go into town, maybe get some breakfast at the diner? And then afterwards I can pick us up some groceries, that way you aren't starving the whole week we're here."

I gasped, "We're gonna be here for a week? Oh no, Colby, I only called out for a day.”

"Ehh, don't worry. You have off this weekend, right? Stay here with me, and we'll worry about all of that on Monday." Colby argued.

"I have a feeling I won't want to leave though." I exhaled dramatically.

He feigned concern. "Oh no... whatever will we do?"

I smacked his chest, a laugh erupting from him.

"Go take a shower, and I'll unpack our bags. Sound good?" He held my hands, giving them a light squeeze.

I nodded, walking into the bedroom and pulling out some clothes to change into for after my shower.

I took the longest shower of my life, scrubbing all the stress away and off my body. By the time I had gotten out, it had been an hour, and the diner was ready to open. Colby and I drove into town, enjoying the view of the quaint place. The diner wasn't packed, but a steady stream of customers were coming in and out for the breakfast rush. We sat down at a table and enjoyed our meal slowly, people-watching the whole time. We walked through town, looking at all the little shops and stopping in a few. I bought a mug with the town's name on it, Colby rolled his eyes as I did. We then went to the grocery store, picking up a few things to make lunch and dinner. Colby wasn't much of a cook, and neither was I, so we settled on pasta for tonight. We drove home, but I didn't feel like settling in yet.

"Do you wanna go on a hike?" Colby suggested.

And we did just that. The fresh air almost burned my lungs, the crispness feeling sharp with every breath. It had been overcast out all day, making it the perfect weather to walk in. I found a stream not too far away from our cabin, following it down until it opened up to a lake. We sat at the dock of the lake, staring out into the water, huddled close to each other.

Then the skies opened up, rain pouring and soaking us instantly. We laughed as we raced home, Colby holding my hand the whole time. Eventually when we were close, Colby picked me up bridal style and sped me into the cabin. Thunder crackled in the distance, making the ground shake. Colby started a fire, and the cabin warmed up instantly.

I didn't remember falling asleep, but I did. I woke up wrapped up in a blanket, a soft pillow resting under me. The tv was on, playing a random channel I hadn't seen before. The cabin smelled of butter and pasta sauce. I looked at the time, and it was already 5:36 P.M.

"Good evening, sleepy head. Dinner will be ready soon, if you wanna get up." Colby spoke from the kitchen.

I stretched, getting up and heading towards his voice. "You should have woke me sooner. I would have helped with dinner."

He snickered, "I'm not that clueless when it comes to making pasta. Besides, you looked too peaceful, and I figured after the long day of walking around your body could use some more rest."

"Well, I'll at least set the table." I pulled out two dishes, walking over to the table and placing them down. I noticed in the little vase there were three flowers: two things of angelica and a single rose.

He noticed me staring, "I got that for you at the grocery store. I made sure to hide it so you wouldn't see."

"You are literally too sweet to me." I leaned in, pecking his lips.

He shrugged half-heartedly. "I don't know about too sweet, but I'm definitely trying my best here.”

My face dropped, turning to look at him completely. "Colby, you got me a cabin, drove me all the way here just so I could catch a break. You bought me breakfast and groceries and are now making me dinner. If that isn't sweet, I don't know what is."

He looked down, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. He continued stirring the pasta.

Oh my God... I made Colby blush.

A moment later, he turned off the heat, dumping the pasta water out and into the heated sauce. He mixed that up for a minute and turned to me. "I think it's ready."

We ate dinner slowly, enjoying each bite. Maybe it was because I hadn't had a homecooked meal in ages, but the pasta was to die for. We chatted the whole time, commenting on our day and the different things we saw at the diner and the lake. Once we finished, Colby poured some wine for us. A lull finally fell into our conversation, but we still sat in the dining room, sipping our wine. Colby held my hand, lightly running his thumb back and forth.

I squeezed his hand gently. "Thank you so much for this, Colby. Truly. I needed this escape so badly."

"Of course, Jade. I'll be honest though; this wasn't just an escape for you. It was for me too. I'm not exactly... not stressed, about everything going on." He took a long sip from his wine glass, his voice low.

I sighed deeply, gazing down at the table. "It's insane how crazy our lives have gotten in such a short time."

Colby nodded his head, finishing off his wine. He reached out his now free hand, wanting to hold mine. I gave him it, cupping his gently. His grip tightened as he began to speak.

"I'm... scared, of what's to come, Jade."

My heart sank at his words, his voice catching me off guard. He kept his head down as he continued.

"I want to be able to protect you, and I think I can, but there is a part of me that thinks I'm not enough. That I'm not strong enough. And especially if someone like Rinaldi or Max is coming after you... it's true. And it terrifies me that that's the truth. Hearing what Tara said to you, that there's the possibility that my greatest fear could happen, that you could die... I don't know what I would do with myself. I can't lose you, Jade. You're the first person I've let in in such a long time and I just can't..." His voice waivered as he trailed off, his head lowered to our hands, resting on them.

I felt a single tear slide down my face, unaware that his words did that to me. I wanted to reach out and grab him, pull him as close to me as possible and never let go. I wasn't sure what to say, but as we both stayed quiet for a moment, I felt myself utter words I knew to be true.

"I love you, Colby."

I could feel Colby freeze, halting his breath. He picked his head up slowly, his eyes almost staring through me. My heart sped up at his intense look.

"I know this might seem sudden... but I've felt this way for a long time." I shuttered out a breath, not realizing how nervous I was, "I don't expect you to say it back."

"I-I... want to, though. I just," his voice fell off, his eyes boring down at our still laced hands. "I've never had anyone say that to me."

My heart shattered, "No one's ever said I love you to you before?"

"Not since I was young. All of our friends have made passing remarks, saying that they care about me, but... not ‘I love you’. Not like how you said it." He murmured.

I squeezed his hands, running my thumb over his knuckles. I leaned down and kissed the top of them, looking up at him briefly. The silence filled the room, and I could see Colby wanted to speak, but was unsure of what to say. I truly didn't expect him to say it back, but part of me hoped for some response soon. My ears rang from the quiet.

Colby's eyes connected with mine, his icy blues gazing deep. "I'm not good at talking. I've never been great at saying what I feel. But I think I can show you... what I feel."

He stood up, pulling me to my feet. He cupped my face gently, his hand feeling almost cold against my hot skin. He leaned in slowly, pressing his body into me. His lips captured mine, an electric charge surging through my body instantly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers running through his hair.

Colby pushed me lightly against the table, his hands sliding down my body until he reached my hips. He gripped them tightly, the feeling causing a light sigh to fall from my lips. He smirked into the kiss, pulling away briefly to lift me up onto the table. He placed me down, connecting his lips with mine again. I wrapped my legs around his hips, squeezing him into me. Our kiss deepened, our tongues dancing with one another. Suddenly, he scooped me up from the table, walking me to the bedroom carefully.

He got me to the edge of the bed, dropping me softly. I gasped as I fell back, my legs dangling off the bed as he stared down at me. I swear for a second, I saw his eyes flash red as he scanned my body. My heart raced at the thought of what he could, and would, do to me.

He leaned down, hovering over me as he murmured in my ear. "I want to make you feel good, Jade."

I bit my lip, "I-I want you to do that."

Colby chuckled, kissing down my neck. He nipped at my collarbone; goosebumps rose across my skin as he did. He kept kissing down my body, my chest heaving as he got closer to my sex. I could feel the fire already burning deep within me growing. I wanted him so badly and for so long. And now, it was finally happening.

He raised my shirt up slowly, his hands stopping just underneath my bra. He looked into my eyes and nodded my head, sitting up and letting him pull my shirt off. He gazed over my newly exposed skin, taking in every inch of it. He glided his head down, his breath fanning just above the button of my pants. I shuddered at the feeling, needing him to keep going.

"I've wanted to taste you for so long, Jade." He glanced up at me, a whine almost falling from his lips, "Can I? Please?"

My panties grew wetter from the desperation in his voice. I nodded, unable to speak. Colby unbuttoned my pants, sliding them down my body hastily. His hands cupped my hips, his mouth kissing just above my underwear. My breath hitched at the sensation, my body tensing.

"You're already so wet for me... God, I need to taste you now." He growled.

He pulled my underwear off, throwing it behind him. I bit my lip as the cool air of the cabin hit my naked sex. My hips arched, wanting Colby to give me some relief.

"Use your words, baby. What do you want from me?" He teased, kissing my thighs.

I shuttered, "C-Colby, please. I need you so badly."

"To what?" He blinked innocently.

"Make me come with your tongue." I mewled.

Colby clenched his jaw at my words, his eyes closing tightly for a moment. "Whatever you want, baby. It's yours."

His mouth immediately connected with my clit, pulling it into his mouth and gently sucking on it. Pleasure rolled down my body, my legs instinctively wrapping around his head and resting on his shoulders. As he continued to play with my clit, his fingers lightly brushed up and down my lips, teasing my entrance.

"Oh my God, fuck Colby." I moaned, my eyes fluttering close.

He buried his head deeper into my cunt, his tongue and fingers switching positions. He lapped at my hole, his middle finger rubbing slow circles into my clit.

My hips bucked out his actions, whines falling from my mouth. He kept his pace slow and deep, causing pleasure to roll down my body over and over again.

I could feel my body getting closer to the edge, but I wanted him, needed him, inside of me. "Colby...."

"Yes, beautiful?" He hummed, picking his head up.

"Please.... I need you." I whimpered, my fingers tracing up his face as he looked at me.

He slowed raised up to my face, his mouth pressed closed to my ear. "You need me inside of you?"

"Yes," I shook my head desperately.

"How badly do you need me, baby? Tell me." He demanded teasingly.

"Colby, please." I pawed at his chest, still covered by his shirt, "I need you to take this off, right fucking now."

"Yeah?" He smirked, sitting up and pulling his shirt off with one arm.

My hands immediately slid up his chest, feeling his muscles tighten under my touch. I bit my lip, taking in every inch of him.

Suddenly, Colby's face changed. He lowered himself back down to me, his body resting against mine firmly. I could feel his bulge pressing hard into my thigh. That sent a shockwave through me, knowing I was turning him on.

"Jade... I want you," he swallowed hard. "I want you so badly. I've needed you for so long."

He leaned in, our lips connecting in a passionate kiss. My breath was instantly taken from me, my chest heaving from needed oxygen. My hands drifted down his body, undoing and sliding his pants down enough so that I could grasp his hard member. He gasped against my mouth, his grip on my hips tightening. He thrusted slowly into my hand as I held him. I could tell just from a few pumps that he was big. My pussy clenched at the feeling.

"Are you ready for me, baby?" He whispered lowly, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine.

I nodded, a tiny whimper escaping my mouth.

Colby kissed along my neck as he pulled his pants down all the way. His hands slid behind me and popped my bra off, yanking it away from my body quickly. I giggled at his actions; his neediness just as present as mine.

He reached over to the nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing a condom. He rolled the condom down his shaft, my eyes widening at his now completely naked form. He was so beautiful, in more ways than one. My breath hitched in my throat as I took in as much as I could.

He leaned his head against mine, the tip of his cock teasing my entrance. "Do you still want this? Do you still want to do this?"

"Of course. More than ever." I cupped his face gently, pecking his lips.

He lined himself up, his eyes boring into mine for just a moment. As he entered me, he closed his eyes tightly, his mouth a gape. I moaned as he stretched me out, filling me deeply.

"Fuck Jade, you feel so good." He grunted, his chest vibrating from how deep his voice was.

Once he was completely inside of me, his eyes shot open, two red orbs staring back at me. Veins popped out from under his skin by his eyes. And his parted mouth showed fangs.

I gazed up at him, excited by the vampire before me. I've only ever seen him like this once, and now it felt completely different. Back then I barely even knew him. And now, he was the love of my life.

"I'm sorry, baby. Give me a second, okay?" Colby hissed, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against mine.

I hushed him, cupping his face, "No, it's okay Colby. I'm not scared. You don't scare me."

Colby exhaled. "That's good to know. But I still don't like having my fangs out while I'm fucking you."

I stuttered out, "I... don't mind."

"Oh? You like the fangs?" He sassed, his hips slowly starting to move.

"Yeah." I whispered bashfully, a light blush creeping across my skin.

"You're blushing.... oh my God, that's so fucking hot." He cursed.

I gripped his back a little hard, pulling him deeper into me as he thrusted. I matched his pace, our bodies moving as one.

Colby leaned into my neck, kissing and licking my skin. His fangs grazed against me, goosebumps forming. I let out a light gasp as he pressed his fangs in further, but never broke skin.

He groaned, his voice in my ear. "Do you want me to bite you? I can feel you squeezing around me tighter every time I almost do."

I inhaled sharply, taken aback by his tone. Colby chuckled darkly into my ear, his hips picking up speed.

"You want it, don’t you? Just admit it." He smirked.

I let out a raspy sound, unable to say anything. He was right, I did want him to bite me. But I wasn't going to say it. At least not yet.

"Make me." I uttered bravely.

His stare intensified, his lips twitching into a smile. "Fine."

Colby pinned down my hands to the bed with one hand, while his other shimmied down in between our bodies. He forced my legs apart wider, two of his fingers pushing lightly against my clit. He started stroking in time with his thrusts, which only got deeper and harder. I cried out in pleasure, my eyes rolling into the back of head from the new sensation.

"Tell me you need it. Tell me you want me to bite you." He ordered, staring into my eyes.

"Fuck, Colby! Pleaseeee." I whined, my brain turning to mush with his actions.

He grunted, his hips shuttering. "God I'm getting so close, Jade. Say what you want, baby. I'll give it to you. I'll give you whatever you want."

"Bite me, please." I whimpered.

"Say it louder, Jade." He hissed.

"Bite me, Colby!" I moaned louder, my pleasure building more and more. I could feel myself almost going over the edge. Fuck, I needed him to make me come.

"One more time, sweetheart. Say it for me now!" His voice thundered, his thrusts going deeper and deeper into me.

"Oh my God, please bite me! Please! I'm so fucking close!" I shouted desperately, my hips bucking wildly. I tried to force my hands out from under his hold, but they wouldn't budge. I just struggled against him as he kept up his fast-paced movements.

"Good girl, baby. Come for me." He growled, and then slammed his fangs into my neck. It was all overwhelming - the sensation of his fangs, his thrusts, and his words - and it immediately sent my body into overdrive. My orgasm ripped through me, my hips spasming in time with his. I cried out in pleasure, unable to hold back any sounds I had in me. He drank my blood slowly, but just the slight loss made my head all the more lighter.

"Oh shit I'm coming! Fuuuuuckkk-" Colby pounded into me over and over again, exploding in ecstasy as my blood leaked down his chin from my mouth. His red eyes almost glared down at me, intensely staring into my soul. I could feel his aura appear around us, engulfing us both. I was too out of my mind to care. Everything about this moment made my head spin and my mind blank out.

Once our orgasms subsided, Colby's body crashed down on top of mine. He let go of one of my hands, the other lacing fingers with his. We laid there and just breathed with one another, trying to slow down our racing hearts. It felt like forever before he finally picked his head up.

He picked his head up quickly, his mouth a gape. "Shit, I forgot you were bleeding. Here, let me give you some of my blood."

I slurred, "Nooo, y-you don't-"

"You're have no room to argue with me, sweetheart." Colby took his finger in his mouth, biting open the pad of it. Then he brought it to my lips. "Open up, baby."

I allowed his finger into my mouth, the metallic taste making me wince until suddenly changing into something sweet. I sucked on his finger, feeling the lightheadedness slowly going away.

"That's right... there you go. I didn't drink too much from you, so you don't need too much from me." A moment later, he slid his finger out of my mouth, a light ‘pop’ noise following.

"I-I was enjoying that, you know." I joked, sighing.

"I was too." He leaned in close, "There's a reason why I'm still hard inside of you."

We both giggled, his mischievous eyes softening. He pulled out of me a moment later, relaxing back on the bed beside me. We laid there silently, just listening to each other breathe. With a slight look, his hands grasped around my wrist, lightly tugging me over to him until my head was laying on his chest. He sighed deeply, snuggling into me more. I began to drift off, his soft breathing lulling me to sleep. We laid like this for hours, barely moving except to pull the blankets higher.

A ring tone ripped through the silent room. I glanced up at Colby who read his phone. "It's just Mike. He can leave a message."

I snuggled back in, waiting for the phone to stop. It did for a moment, only to start ringing again. The same tone and all.

"There's no reason for Mike to need me. He knows we’re up here. I left a note." He rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed.

"Okay." I laid my head down, but I didn't shut my eyes. Something churned in my stomach as I stared at the phone, hoping it wouldn't ring again.

But then it did.

Colby groaned, grabbing his phone off the table, and answering it. "What Mike?"

I could hear Mike's muffled voice, and it sounded panic.

Colby froze at Mike's words. He slowly rose from bed, my body falling off his. "What?"

My breath hitched. Something happened.

"Yeah. Yeah. We'll be there as soon as we can be. Tell him to hold on. I'm leaving right now." His tone was serious and pointed. He hung up the phone, getting out of bed quickly.

My stomach sank, my eyes widened. "What happened, Colby? What's wrong?"

He threw on his clothes hastily, turning to me. "It's Sam. Someone attacked him at the club tonight. We have to leave."

<< CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 24 >>

#colby brock #colby brock x oc #the chosen daughter #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fic #colby brock vampire #sam and colby #colby brock smut #colby brock angst

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youaremycosmo · 4 months

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《cream series part one》 taemin x reader scenario

as always i'm thankful to everyone who like it, hope you'll enjoy these scenarios too ^^ my plan was to publish more this year cause i have so many drafts and it's a mess but it's already 21st *rolling eyes* and if you're new to my world of scenarios, i invite you to check the MASTERLIST Word count// 1,300 words Pairing// Taemin x you

Summary// After two years of your rather innocent, friends-to-lovers relationship, Taemin decides to delicately push things forward. And it means reeeally delicately. This is a part of boyfriend/fiancé/husband scenarios, but cream (gonna change it but can't find better name T.T) series will focus on entering the new level of being a couple (XD).

Genre// fluff

Warnings// none, this is so innocent XD you&taemin are in 3rd class of highschool so he patiently waited till being adults lol and yes, he's going to bleach his hair just to look more sexy

You were sitting on Taemin's bed, leaning comfortably on the pillow against the wall. There was a math book on your lap because that was the last lesson today. At the end of it, your teacher quickly said how to solve the homework and you decided to do it right after returning from school to get it over with. It was literally 20 minutes of work, but apparently Taemin had other plans by kissing you right now.

His hand continuously for a long moment fondly caressed your cheek, and the other one was somewhere on your waist, squeezing it gently. It would be a lie saying you had any resistance looking at how you wrapped your arms around his neck and responded to his lip movements passionately, occasionally sucking lightly on his tongue. The entire room was filled with the sound of wet lips brushing against each other, but you didn't have to worry because his parents will be home from work in a few hours.

Taemin finally slowly pulled away, allowing you both to take your first normal breath in the last few minutes. Even though it was refreshing, deep in your heart you felt sad that the kiss had just ended. His gaze was affectionate as always, and his fingers brushed your hair over your shoulder. However, you felt in the air something different than usual.

- What? - you asked with slight amusement, seeing Taem hesitating over something. You twirled the pencil in your fingers impatiently, waiting for his answer.

Taemin gazed at you for a long moment, biting his lower lip. Finally, he decided to move closer again, placing several smooches on your neck.

- You're tickling - you giggled under your breath, pulling back a little. Tae chuckled softly too, leaning on either side of your body.

- Could we… - he glanced at your sweater. - Could we take it off? - he asked, taking a deep breath.

You smirked, guessing what he meant, but you knew you had a great opportunity to prank him. And it would be a real pity not to use this occasion.

- Sure - you agreed without much resistance, grabbing the ends of your sweater and taking it off. You were wearing a tank top underneath and you could see immediately the huge disappointment in his eyes. He didn't say anything though, just stared at this unnecessary material.

Taemin has seen you wearing a bra a few times, mostly in fitting rooms when you two went shopping together. It wasn't very uncomfortable for you, in fact you were more amused by the thought that he might be the first boy among his friends to see a girl in a bra.

- What is it about again? - you asked playfully, teasing him. - You wanted me to take off my sweater, didn't you?

- Yes… - he looked extremely intimidated. - It's warm in this room, don't you think? - he cleared his throat quietly, looking away. The atmosphere got a little awkward, which was… rather odd.

- Yeah, actually... I'm even too hot in that tank top - you admitted after a moment, because you enjoyed his embarrassment so much. Taem was always so bold and basically did whatever he wanted, so these types of situations were incredibly precious. This time you painfully slowly reached for the fabric and lifted it up, pulling it over your head. You tossed it aside, smoothing your hair slightly. There wasn't really much to look at. You were wearing a navy blue soft bra, completely plain, nothing special.

Taemin blinked nervously, examining your whole body with his eyes. His hands very gently found its place on your ribs. It felt like a feather. You actually had the impression that he was afraid you were going to tell him to take this hands away at any time.

- I... could I kiss you lower than usual? - the next request left his lips, with a huge uncertainty in his voice.

This made you giggle uneasily, since Tae was making it so embarrassing. There would be no problem if he just did it, but instead he started to ask about every little thing. On the other hand, you appreciated it as a sign of respect to you.

- Well… - you glanced down at yourself, thinking briefly if this was something inappropriate. - I think… you can try… - you shrugged your shoulders, giving him permission.

Taemin cautiously came closer and pecked your collarbone as if to gauge your reaction. You didn't do anything though, sitting politely, which made him give a few more pecks there before switching sides and doing the same. This wasn’t particularly new, but you were more undressed and it made these kisses special.

His next sharp breath was before he slowly lowered his lips to your cleavage, but quite high up. This area also soon was covered in little smooches, to which you can’t help but smile.

- What a beautiful baby you are, really - he admitted, shamelessly staring at your breasts. This made you laugh, as you corrected yourself on the pillow to sit more comfortably.

- I don't know what you're excited about, you saw me in a bra already - you mocked him, feeling more brave again.

Taemin just rolled his eyes. - Because you can't enjoy the little things, duh - he answered playfully and brushed your hair behind your ear. - But okay, if you're looking for adrenaline... - he reached for your arm and more boldly slided the strap down. Then Tae got closer and kissed your skin. This peck was different, more like licking.

- Ah, what are you doing? - you whined in amusement, slapping lightly his arm.

- I'm taking it off - he grinned, brushing your hair from the other side and doing the same. You were left with a bra that was still pretty tight on your breasts, but showed a little more. Taemin came back with pecks on your cleavage and you couldn't lie, you were starting to feel something weird in your tummy. It was hard to say what exactly, like a mix of stress but also curiosity.

- How about giving one kiss to your breasts? They must feel neglected - he giggled heartily at his own words as he glanced in your eyes.

- You're an idiot, I swear - you snorted hearing his ridiculous question. - One. And we do math.

- One - he repeated, licking his lips slightly.

This strange feeling got even worse as you felt his breath on the skin of your breasts. It was like a sudden switch, it wasn’t an innocent joke anymore, but uncovering something that was hidden till today . The imprint of his lips was very delicate. You sensed his caution, almost as if he was afraid you'd fall to pieces when he touched you there.

- Hey, but you said it’ll be just one - you immediately pointed out to him when he pecked your second breast.

- One for each, you can't be so ungenerous - he smirked with a gleam in his eye. - What if the other is sorry? - he asked, sliding your straps back into place and reaching for your top.

You sighed heavily as he turned it over. - I won’t be better, i’m just warning you - you said whimsically, letting him put it on.

- I'll take it as a challenge - he raised an eyebrow slightly, giving you a lovely smile and slid a sweater over you.

He sat next to you and reached for his notebook. - What did she say there? Do we need a quadratic function here? - he asked completely seriously, writing down the data from the task.

#superm x reader #taemin x reader #kpop scenarios #shinee x reader #superm fics #shinee fics #taemin x reader fluff #taemin scenarios #taemin #taemin fluff

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casasupernovas · 9 months

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i feel the need to explain something.

i think if you read my blog, you wouldn't really know why i ship ten and martha since i engage with so many others shippers. if you're in that space, you don't really feel the need to explain when you're all on the same boat. if you are a fellow shipper feel free to add why you ship them also.

but here is my reason.

honestly, despite my dislike of how much of how the duo is handled within canon, i actually like the meaness and downright unfairness. not because i'm a pyscho, but because it feels real. sure some concepts are fun, like the idea of john falling for martha, but it's just wishful thinking in my opinion. i've long since thought many people do not like this series because it feels a little too real. you don't want the doctor to act this way, you want clarity and self awareness and kindess but something that's just not the way the world works. it's why so many fans have such a hard time accepting that he was in the wrong this series. because if you do, you have to fully accept just how badly he treated martha. and that's not fun to watch. it feels unfair to see him be so kind and encouraging to donna when he was so cold to martha. but that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

how. ever.

i ship them because i think there is something so raw, mature and electric about the duo. sexual tension aside, i think ten and martha have so much potential. have them unpick why exactly the doctor behaved that way. 'he was sad over rose' just doesn't cut it fully for me. i headcannon the idea that the doctor was indeed attracted to martha and was pretty damn pissed about it. scared of it. perhaps resentful. so he strikes it down, and chooses to dwell in a previous heartbreak instead, driving away his chance at happiness again.

i've always read that scene at the end of smith and jones as a guilty conscience, he's talking more to himself than her with that suddenly hostile 'only trip' nonsense. completely forgetting the original reason he had got her in the first place. no wonder he got so testy, because martha plainly read his actions back to him, and not only was it indeed flirty, it also sounds like...welll...he's moving on. imagine someone following you to your family member's party hours after they kissed you and bridal carried you and you have apparently said goodbye forever, only for them to tell you they're not interested. lol. then what are you doing here? i feel that the doctor purposely stalled his attraction to martha that series. so imma give him a chance. it's a much more interesting read of his character that series, especially when you see when he just can't help it and flirts with her despite it all anyway

for martha, i like the idea that she is in love with the alien she's not quite sure where she stands with sometimes, but she'll run until she's out of breath. she respects herself enough to leave so she doesn't waste her life, but i think there's enough room for the idea of them trying again. if at first you don't succeed. i mean, the doctor found out she was engaged, moving on and turned around and asked her to travel with him again!

i ship them because the doctor and martha to me have the potential to be a beacon of new beginnings, growth, self reflection, character development. but also a way to really prod into the darker nature of the doctor. not all of it is palatable but it's a part of him.

i feel like martha forced the doctor to recognise some home truths about himself in a way others did not. she brings out a very interesting side to him. it's criminal we only got one series.

#doctor who #martha jones #tenth doctor #10th doctor #tenmartha

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toastess-with-the-mostess · 7 months

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Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 27: The Green Medusa Season 1, Episode 28: Treasure of Planet Tyrus

Episode 27: The Green Medusa ALL RIGHT MY OTHER FAVORITE EPISODE OF DOTU

Ty Lotor for the lore, Planet Medusa was hit with a solar flare that put all of its people into a coma, his plan is to snatch one and let it loose on Arus ofc The sad part about this is that they picked a mother who lost her children, so she's having the worst time

I like the design for the Medusan, just wish it had more flair and no boobs,, is this woman not reptilian why does she have breasts

Ah there's the namesake, when angry the Medusan can grow pretty large, their hair transforms into snakes, and ya guessed it, their laser vision turns enemies to stone she looks a lot more monstrous in this form, a better look imo

Hey a scene from before is reused! We're back on Arus now and the scene of people crowding around lance pidge and hunk for their offer of food from the episode where Sven got got was reused for them calling for orphans since Allura is using part of the castle as an orphanage now A sweet gesture, wish there was more info about it

Back at the castle, an infant apparently chose Keith to be their foster dad oh, I am so making either an AU or a HC from this scene omg

PIDGE LORE he's an orphan! And adopted out of the system recently from what it looks like

His adoptive parents <3

aw no Pidge,, he still wishes to have his biological mother with him, that's always a hard wish to have, not that I can comment much on it as I'm not adopted

Attack time and the team is already in their lions wow, no launch animation sequence? Amazing

AND NO ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE MEDUSAN? THIS ISN'T THE USUAL EPISODE FORMAT also pidge ejects from green who ends up smashing into the castle flooring below, I thought you were a better pilot than this kid

The Medusan mother grabs him after he lands onto the floor but instead carefully picks him up and places him onto her palm, even her expression is soft! This is why I love this episode, pidge found a mom and yknow what good for him because he keeps getting badass women figures in his life

Allura is freaking out about it and Lance wants to shoot everything at her for grabbing pidge before keith tells him again that she's got pidge in her grasp PIDGE IS JUST ROUTINELY GETTING ADOPTED AT THIS POINT AND WE LOVE THAT HERE

Pidge wakes up in a cave with the Medusan and tries running off but for some reason turns back and then immediately gets brought back by one of her snakes who nuzzle him after picking him back up how cute! I think Pidge knows something is going on especially because she only took him elsewhere instead of killing him

"he's awful little to see from up here" -Hunk such a cute line

PIDGE YOU MADE HER CRY, at least he apologized Lotor finds the two of them and immediately tries to capture them, but she protects pidge from it, and he finally realizes she's protecting him

Pidge likes snakes, sucks for lance who is definitely afraid of snakes after Bokar

Lotor says that he created a monster with too good a heart Created?? mf you KIDNAPPED A MOTHER AFTER FORCFULLY AWAKING HER FROM HER COMA YOU DIDN'T CREATE SHIT

Coran and Nanny immediately think Pidge is dead after the team searches for him again and still doesn't find him which like that's a sane assumption, but I'm also biased against them so how fucking DARE they pretend to care now >:/

Sike, Pidge is alive and he made friends with his new mom, Anga HE'S JUST CHILLING ON HER HAND LIKE IT'S NOTHING, MAN IS LIVING THE LIFE And suddenly Hunk is real hopeful that Anga has a friend lol

Attack hours again, this time with a REAL robeast and Haggar tries to force Anga to attack pidge so he PULLS OUT HIS GUN TO SHOOT AT HAGGAR ICONIC

Anyway Anga is shrunk down to her normal size and Pidge gets back to making sure Haggar knows who the bitch is between the both of them, and it ain't the little boy with a blicky that's for sure

Pidge gets a piggyback ride from Anga but she's super hurt and collapses before they reach the castle so Pidge promises to come back for her after having a memory of his adoptive mother giving him a piggyback right too THIS KID CAN FIT SO MUCH BACKSTORY AND TRAUMA IN HIM OH MY GOD

Voltron formed, robeast defeated, another scene is reused where Lance is kissed by allura and pidge gets kisses from the mice when he asks instead not the best scene to use? i mean nobody did anything except for pidge but all he did was make friends with a woman who died trying to do the right thing for him

/episode end

Episode 28: Treasure of Planet Tyrus

Planet Tyrus is a vacation planet i see, i can't tell if it was taken over and made a vacation planet for the villains to relax at or if it was always like that

So as an amateur archivist for older voltron content, I can definitely see why there were so many people who loved lotor specifically, the douchebag attitude probably doesn't take away from his looks either huh

oh so definitely conquered and it's lotors birthday! I wonder when this aired so I can assign that to him

i'm sorry, Zarkon stole treasure from Arus the week before the events of the episode?? guys what the fuck are you letting happen on arus

the team infiltrates the ship that apparently carrying said treasure, and it's deserted! they find a golden statue of lotor though, so that's pretty wild what the fuck is chitter doing on the ship, did i skip something on accident again

I'm sorry, red lion is able to phase through fucking metal? Lance is straight up hiding in the lotor statue what does this fucking imply because-

lotor sends a squad to go grab the treasure from the ship and keith pretends to be a guard only for the lead of the squad to say "nah youre not treasure so fend for yourselves" absolutely ruthless

the quality of this dub is so low lmao, looks like the team didn't realize that it was keith under the mask when he fell with the key in front of lotor because it was hunks voice first before keith suddenly pipes up and reveals himself

lotor v lance sword fight rematch AND LANCE GETS CAUGHT BY A TRAP DOOR WHAT KEITH TRIED TO CATCH HIM BUT WATCHED HIM FALL very homosexual of them

how many times has allura slapped lotor now? 3 times? she's right to do it every time

oh shit keith lance and pidge are about to be burnt a la witch trials, obvs allura is forced to watch because why would lotor kill her but mouse to save the day because chitter is biting the rope away

LANCE SURVIVES AND HE BLOWS UP BOTH THE CAKE AND THE STATUE he's so great, what a way to stick it to lotor on his birthday

voltron v command ship, obvs they win and apparently are able to get the valuables back allura makes fun of lotor and says he aged 10 years instead of only the 1

/episode end

#voltron #voltron dotu #voltron defender of the universe #80s voltron #let's rewind!#toast talks #good episodes today #couldn't sit still for them but they were nice

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downtherabbitholewithlucy · 4 months

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So I had a little bit of a busy day today, but...

I completely forgot I had a really nice Wes dream last night; I don't get those all too often, so when it happens, it's just so nice, and boy was this one nice.

So in the dream, I had arrived hours early to an outdoor LB show and idk I guess I had tickets to a special viewing area because I was in some sort of secluded white tent thing off to the side by myself (idk it was weird, but that's not the point). I was sitting there, with several hours left to go for the show, when all of a sudden Wes pops up into my little tent area.

He was dressed in his most recent get-up, but in the dream he still hadn't painted his face nor put his mask on yet. He just looked so cute and snazzy in his white suit all intricately adorned with his drawings.

I guess it was like a meet-and-greet, well that's what I had initially thought in the dream, but he acted like he already knew me (I was like that Minion "WHATTT?" meme lol). I guess this is the point in the dream where I realized he had actually invited me out to the show and put me in this special viewing section. idk I was still in shock that apparently in my dream I had known the guy like a old friend and he was so excited to see me again. Like sure, yup, toooootally a thing).

Then he was like "we should get a picture", so I pulled out my phone and we started taking some selfies a-la photo booth style with the phone set to take several shots every couple of seconds. He had wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me real tight to where our heads were close together and a photo snapped with the two of us sporting huge, cheesy grins on our faces.

In one photo, he caught me by surprise and kissed me sweetly on the cheek, with his nose and mustache tickling my cheek. And when I turned to face him all smiley and bashful (b/c omg! ya know?) he then snuck in a kiss... ON MY LIPS!!! And then my face lit up like fireworks on the goddamn 4th of July. He chuckled and kissed me again, but like really nice and slow (🙃🫠💀), and Y'ALL... THE MAN'S LIPS FELT LIKE VELVET!!!! IT👏🏻FELT👏🏻SO👏🏻REAL👏🏻!!!

When he pulled away, he was giving me the cutest flirty face and just held me tighter in his embrace. It felt so nice just to press against him. He was so warm and I just felt so happy to hold him back.

I woke up shortly after this, and sad when I realized it was just a dream, but boy did those butterflies in my stomach feel real.

Anyways, figured I'd share my lil slice of heaven that I dreamt about last night. God, I hope I have more dreams like those.

#down the rabbit hole

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wikiangela · 2 months

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Hi dear!!! 🥰 Could you tell me more about 5. Eddie's definitely not dying? Please and thank you!!

Hi! <3 Of course! It's one of my fave wips, tho I only get back to it when I'm especially sad bc it's a sad one lol (it is gonna be mcd)

idk if you're familiar with the death-cast series ("they both die at the end" and "the first to die at the end" books - if not, highly recommend, so fucking good) but it's basically buddie in that universe, where there's this thing called death-cast that know when people are gonna die and call them on that day (from midnight to 2am) to give them one last day to live the way they want to spend their last day, and to make all the necessary arrangements etc

so, basically, Eddie gets a call - but Eddie being Eddie, he doesn't believe in any of this (he does have a subscription bc his family kept pressuring him and Shannon did get a call before she died)

so he has around 24 hours to live, arranging who's gonna take care of chris, and confessing his love to Buck - and when he tells Buck he got a call, Buck panics ofc

all the snippets I posted for this are here

and here's another one where I took part of the dialogue from the books bc it is a script lol

It doesn't even hit him that they might be calling about his son, too, since he's registered under Eddie's phone number, until the moment he swipes the green button to answer the call. That's when a wave of panic floods him, for just a second. Then he remembers that it all isn't real. That, and they say his name. "Hello, I'm calling from Death-Cast. My name is Jane. Is this Edmundo Diaz?" a pleasant, warm voice speaks on the other end of the line. "Cutting it close there, it’s almost 2am.” he tries for a lighthearted tone, but doesn’t get a response. “Yeah, that's me." he sighs, dragging a hand over his face. Let's get this over with. "Call me Eddie." he adds. "Hi, Eddie. I regret to inform you that sometime in the next twenty four hours you’ll be meeting an untimely death. While there isn’t anything we can do to suspend that, you still have a chance to live." Her tone is professional, sounding like she’s reciting from a script, which she probably is, but there is an undertone of pity and sympathy, too. She's clearly well-trained for the job - which is probably not even a fleeting thought when most people get the call, but Eddie's not most people. She starts listing all the events and festivals happening for Deckers – that’s what people who are dying are called, that’s who Eddie is today, apparently – to help them experience as much life as possible in whatever time they have left. That and all the places that are supposed to make it easier to make all the necessary arrangements, quickly and with little to no wait. Eddie’s not paying much attention. He knows all that, it’s advertised enough, and he’s talked to Deckers, met quite a few on calls, actually. They were supposed to die, but his team saved quite a few of their lives – not so easy to predict death, is it?

my badly summarized wips

#death cast buddie au #my writing #wikiangela writes #my wips #buddie wip #fic snippet #i have one more snippet i can't wait to share but im saving it for like a wip wednesday or smth when i feel like getting back to this fic #wikiangela answers #badly summarized wip

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handweavers · 2 years

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trying to price my work is so difficult because all the websites that talk about pricing artwork are doing it from the perspective of like. a painting and how many hours go into that and it doesn't translate well into handmade textiles at all but if i priced my work based on actual time spent on it even in just material preparation alone nobody would be able to afford it ever. like the woven piece is not just handwoven which takes forever but also the yarn used to make it was handspun and hand-dyed by myself, which also takes hours, but those hours are not visually apparent to modern consumers and also once again nobody can afford that. so i have to price things on what the market will bear (gag) and what i would, theoretically, be willing to pay for something.

like a weaving that is 10 inches by 11 inches is small all things considered, but it took me 3~ hours to wind the warp, another 3~ hours to dress the loom, 2~ hours to weave the work. and the yarn used as the weft took me 5~ hours to spin, and another 3~ hours to dye with natural materials. if i paid myself the minimum livable wage in toronto which is $22/hour that would be $352 plus materials costs, so round up to $400 CAD. perhaps someone would be willing to pay that much for that but most can't, and never will, and i want to be able to actually survive selling my work without outpricing 99.9% of people including myself! i could never afford to spend $400+ on this, i - on a personal level - can't ask that of someone else.

so instead i do the price per square inch model, where you calculate square inches and multiply it by a dollar number and that's your starting price. so for this work that's 110 square inches and i multiply it by $2 - so that's $220. much better. still expensive, but it strikes the balance of 'price that people can afford' and 'price that pays my bills and adequately acknowledges my time and skill' and that's not even adding materials fees to that number. at that price i'm getting paid $13.75 an hour for my work, which a below minimum wage, but it's a price for a work that i can actually sell at a market. a theoretical $400 is worth less to me than a material, actual $220. even $220 is more than avg person can afford, it's more than i can afford lol, but it's a number than can actually sell.

but more than anything biggest reason i struggle with pricing is that i have such a hard time parting with my work, i spent so much time on it and love it so much and above all i make for my own enjoyment and love so as long as i like something, whether other people like it or not matters less. but that doesn't pay bills, so i have to part with my work, even if it makes me sad. i have so many pieces that i would love to sell and I know i could make real $$$ on but i can't get myself to part with because of sentimentality. i poured days of my life into this, please love it well 🥺

#its different too bc how much u can charge for your work early in your quote unquote career is different from later yeara #even if the quality of the work and the time spent etc is comparable #sigh #trying to make a living from art is misery but not as miserable as not doing it at all

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miyakuli · 11 months

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The Divine Speaker

The Divine Speaker is a BL visual novel set in a fantasy world in which we follow Raen, a young orphan who is about to discover the truth about the world around him, in the company of 3 men who will soon become his friends (and maybe more xp) and help him on his journey.

To be honest, I launched this VN without expecting much, just to pass the time. In the end, I found myself quickly becoming involved in the story and genuinely enjoying its characters, I'm even almost sad to leave them now that I've finished the game entirely ;v; It therefore remains a good surprise overall even if it remains only rather banal overall, with its strengths and weaknesses.

❤ The characters are all super endearing and this even more thanks to the work of the dubbing actors whom I warmly salute because really, they bring a real freshness to their roles and also a lot of humor (especially Jonah Scott and his perfect cynical tone ;D). Kudos to them! ❤ The art direction is very pretty, whether in the varied scenery or the charming chara-design, or in the illustrations, some of which are truly magnificent. ❤ For such a little indie game, I think the music is really good, with several pretty themes that are easy to remember.

+/- The game offers us 3 very different love interests in their interactions with Raen so each player can find their own personal tastes and their favorite route (humhumFawnobviouslyhumhum). There are even "hidden" routes with the secondary protagonists. However, I found them uneven in terms of chemistry and progression; some felt too rushed and underdeveloped. This is all the more apparent as the LIs' routes follow a similar pattern, the only difference being the scenes about their past and the few intimate scenes with Raen. As a result, once one route has been completed, the others will seem rather repetitive and therefore less impactful. +/- The scenario quickly grabs your attention and its universe is interesting enough on the whole, but everything is quite predictable and certain points of the story are resolved a little too easily for my taste.

✖ Although I said earlier that all the characters were endearing, I find Raen, our main protagonist, to be sweet as can be but far too bland compared to the rest of the group. He's definitely evolving, but he has much less depth than his companions, which unfortunately makes him a rather forgettable character on an individual level (because yes, as a couple he's still cute :p). ✖ Some of the transition visual effects look really cheap and unnecessary (like the old Windows Movie Maker effects from the 2000s lol). ✖ This is completely personal, but I think it's a shame that once Raen confesses his love to each of the LIs, the remaining illustrations become nothing more than sex scenes XD I've got nothing against that haha, but I was still pretty frustrated not to have any more SFW illustrations to at least conclude the routes in a soft way……but I've always been more fluff than smut, that must be why x)

The game has a good lifespan (18 hours for me) and I managed to get attached to the characters and their trials and tribulations right to the end, despite the fact that this visual novel is only more or less decent ; is it the power of this Divine Speaker I wonder….

youtube

➡ My personal VN ranking (in french) ➡ My Steam page

#The divine speaker #it's getting way too hot to spend 30 mns writing a review on the pc lol #I miss the boys already #OK NOW I RUN TO HELLUVA BOSS NEW EPISODE #personal #Lola plays games

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mysticchessecake · 2 years

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Calabash AU fanfic

(This is my first fanfic lol-Also I will be adding F! to differentiate real and fake)

What if instead of a "perfect world" . It was basically MK's nightmare?

MK woke up after an earthquake hit him. He got startled and saw that he's already late for his shift at pigsy, he scram to get ready quickly, sloppily putting his work outfit on. It was 9:02 already? As he went down, he noticed an uneasy feeling. Like it's not real. But he glossed over it worrying about work.

Mk- PIGSY Im sorry that Im late I overslept end-

Mk noticed Tang and pigsy lookin for a abit. Annoyed, mad, anyways Mk saw that the place wasn't even ready to be open! The doors were open yet not even the lights were on.

F! Pigsy- Mk. what are YOU doing here?

Mk- Uh to start my shift?

F! Pigsy- Mk. You quit to be "full time" monkie kid now. You LEFT us.

Mk- What no? When was that??

F! Tang- When you defeated DBK and sealed him and HIS family under a mountain with your staff.

Mk- Oh YEA, my staff where's is it?? -

F! Tang- Are you even listening from what I said? YOU USED YOUR STAFF

Mk- I don't remember that- I remember clones and Mei's parents and- wait wheres Mei?

F! Pigsy- Now you care about her?! You LEFT her and US for "destiny"

Mk- I-

F! Tang- Just get out Mk, we aren't in the mood to talk to you, go to your new "mentor"

Mk- Wait but whats happ-

F! Tang- OUT

Mk- o-oh

As Mk left the noodle shop he felt sad. 'Did this really happen? Why can't he remember? As he was walking away he saw Mei and Sandy! It's kinda odd because he doesn't really see Sandy in the city much. But he wanted to ask him why everything was so weird.

Mk- Mei! Sandy! Somethings happening and I dont know whats is it apparently I sealed DBk and-

He looked up to see Mei and Sandy upset. Angry, annoyed, mad.

Mk- Mei, Sandy are you oka-

F! Mei- Why are you talking to me?

Mk- W-wha-

F! Mei- You said it yourself? "Sorry I don't have time for 'good for nothing people now'"

Mk- I never said tha-

F! Mei- Now you're trying to deny it? We WERE your friends Mk. And you left us for monkie king.

Mk- Wait what do you mean I-

F! Sandy- Look Mk, just leave us alone. You wanted this.

As Mk trying to calm down, Mei and Sandy disappeared. Mk is left alone without anyone. As Mk was walking somewhere. He remembered something! He can go to Monkie king and he can tell him whats happenin- He remembered he dosent have his staff.

Then someone shows up unexpectedly. Monkie king. But its weird. Monkie king is wearing his fillet thing. But Mk couldn't focus on that, he was more surprised that Monkie king is in the city in his normal form. Mk got happy that maybe Monkie king can tell him what's happening.

Mk- Monkie king? What are you doing here? Why are you wearing your fillet? What's happen-

F! Monkie king- Sorry bud, But you can't be my successor anymore.

Back in the real world. REAL Pigsy gotten worried for Mk. It's already been 5 hours since he showed up. Mei who knows Mk wouldn't go out for that long without going home first decided to go in the secret base to look for him. So she got Pigsy, Tang, and Sandy to look for Mk. Mei got her laptop and looked for Mk cam. They were all stunned. He was talking to Monkie king? In the city? And the conversation went like this.

Mk- What?

F! Monkie king- You left your friends so quick when you sealed off DBK. Im impressed that you did it but, bud, you left your friends.

Mk- When was that I dont rem-

F! Monkie king- Just don't come back. Can't have a traitor near me.

In the REAL WORLD, Mei, Tang, Sandy and Pigsy were shocked. Mei rewind a bit and she saw the conversation with him and Mk. Then Pigsy and Tangs conversation.

Mei- Yeah this we need to save Mk from this "world"

Everyone else agreed. Mei tracked the last seen location of Mk and they went off.

They stumbled in this odd looking house, they knocked and they heard a terrible impression of a old lady saying

Old lady- May I help you?

Pigsy- Have you seen a kid with brown hair and a red bandana around?

Old lady- No sorry-

The terrible impression old lady closed the door. They all knew that they have Mk. Back at the Fake world

Mk is in his room crying. He lost his friends, his mentor, his staff, and everything. It's like the world is against him now. He wanted to rewind time and see what's happening.

In the REAL world Mk's friends busted open the odd house and saw two Demons, they call themselves the Yin and Jin. And them being the absolute idiots they are. They revealed that Mk is trapped in the calabash. Mei not taking their crap was about to beat the living. Until they revealed that they have Mk and you can't do nothing then they showed the power of the calabash .

In the Fake world! Mk is sitting depressed until he realized that he can get the staff where he found it! So he dashed through the area and she enough, he the saw the staff there. As he was walking to the staff he heard F! Mei's voice

F! Mei- Mk? Are you trying to unseal DBK? Just to get your staff back? To become Monkie kings mentor again?

Mk- I just need my staff okay? So-

F! Pigsy- Kid, you aren't serious right?

F! Tang- You are willing to hurt the city to become his MENTOR?

Mk- It's not like that I-

F! Sandy- Mk don't do this please.

Mk- I-

F! Monkie king- Bud, You aren't gonna become my student anymore, I-

He suddenly got cut off.

In the REAL world Mei is kicking Jin and Yin's asses for making Mk suffer. Tang got the calabash and said

F! Tang- Mk get the staff NOW

Mk- but what about DBK??

F! Pigsy- Its not real GET IT

As Mk ran to get the staff he suddenly felt like something was off. What if it actually happened and he just forgot. What if Pigsy and Tang were not the same? What if. He wasn't worthy?

In the REAL world. Tang and the others were thinking what's taking long. He should have just took the staff and got out right? Jin and Yin were knocked out by Mei. Then they realized that Yin and Jin made Mk extremely doubtful somehow. Then Mei got the calabash and said

F! Mei- Mk. Get the staff. It won't release DBK, I promise

As Mk suddenly come to his senses. He got the stick and pulled it out. He saw white then he saw everyone crying. They're thrilled to see him back in the real world. As Mk stood up to hug Pigsy. He asked

Mk- Are you real...?

Pigsy- Yes I am kid...

They all hugged Mk and brought him home. Mk is slightly traumatized from it but nothing he can't handle right?

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amrv-5 · 6 months

Note

HI PARKER!!!!!! for the fanfic ask meme: D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with Somewhere To Get To or Sailed Calmly On? F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic? N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you? Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

HELLO LISA!!!!! thank you for the ask!!!!!! Hope you're having a good evening!!! These were really good askdjflaksdjf I forgot how how strongly I was inspired by a song for Sailed Calmly On!!!

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with Somewhere To Get To or Sailed Calmly On?

I wouldn't say a formal playlist but there are definitely songs I was playing a lot while writing! For S2G2, I've mentioned CSNY's "Our House," which, BeejHawk song ever to me. Wilco's "Hate It Here" (I'll check the phone, I'll check the mail, I'll check the phone again...) for BJ's Hawk-less chapters. And (so sorry) Billy Joel's "Summer, Highland Falls" is undeniably S2G2 to me (Though we choose between reality and madness / It's either sadness or euphoria!). I had much less going on musically for SCO, BUT!!! I realized I never stated that the beach scene in chapter 2 (in which Hawk looks at BJ and Erin on the beach and realizes she's not going to be young forever as his own dad holds his shoulder) I wrote with Tom Rosenthal's "We Can Always Come Back" in mind (I even gave BJ the song title verbatim!!):

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

Not sure if it formally COUNTS as a hurt/comfort BUT Granspn's "or, the children's crusade" is one I come back to a lot when I want to spend time in Hawk's head and also read people looking after him a lil <3

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Waugh LOL I answered this a little over here in response to Al but !! Generally because I am giving up on shame I am Boldly Proclaiming that I have a million unfinished projects where the plot arc is (ever-repetitive, and always fun for me to write) Hawkeye has a bad or generally stressful time in some way and then gets treated soooo special by BJ for like a couple hours. Every time one of them gets finished another appears, one-tenth written, in my google drive, and well IDEAS FREE TO A GOOD HOME!!! ANYONE TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME IF DESIRED!!!

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

Absolutely. Not sure how many of these I've mentioned in the past, but I originally had kicked around the idea of BJ's parents showing up in S2G2, there was going to be a scene where they went to the library together with Erin, and I just recently found a note where (surprise?!) apparently at some point I'd considered a version of the fic where Hawkeye, at the end of his rope and feeling miserable with no real idea of what to do, ends up pulling sort of a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend maneuver and moves to San Francisco for his slow breakdown, but also goes to drastic measures to never cross paths with BJ because he managed to get himself across the continent but bridging the last, like, five miles and/or phone call it would take to ask for help is too difficult, which I can't even remember how I thought this would work in re: resolution except that there would be some sort of Incidental Meeting, but, hello? I am glad I did not write it this way but it was a really intriguing little note to find, and I'd kind of be fascinated to imagine a version of the Leviathan where I DID take that (arguably?) sadder and much stranger route.

#LISA!!!!!!#<- just excited about you. YAY LISA #ask game

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bagelvangr · 1 year

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Getting restless about not posting anything in a long while

also trying to post something that's decidedly not a doodle.

I know I have a bad habit of calling everything I make a doodle or a sketch, but I think I'm just too used to thinking that if it's not a fully rendered piece, it's not good enough to be called anything but a doodle or a sketch. I don't actually think this nor hold anyone to this bar (except myself, apparently lol), but I still wanted to post something close to what I can call a render, so here's a peek at what I'm currently working on.

Painting some emotions. Some real sad Eivor hours incoming 😔

bonus: the amount of colours I used solely for her skin and lips lmao 💀