#real life talk
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If I had a nickel for every time my second sister borrowed my car and the engine caught fire, I’d have two nickels.
Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.
🔥🚘🔥
#Sanjuno IRL#real life talk#sometimes you make the meme#sometimes the meme makes you#in other news Sanjuno needs a new car now
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(what an art post on my personal blog what the scallop?)
Warning: self harm discussion (positive/healing)
Although I now have brand new ones, my first scars are almost invisible.
Those scars I draw on my arm, have been faded for a long time now. I drew them very stylized (like my leg) and over-exaggerated to look "cool".
But now, I think (me personally) drawing them so much was like hanging on to pain rather than being proud of overcoming it.
Maybe I can accept that I can heal my heart like my I healed my skin.
#my art#real life talk#fursona#vent art#self harm mention#depression#self care#scars#s/h scars#s/h tw
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so turns out pitting me against strangers in a meaningless competition fully turns me into a supervillain. every other person on the duolingo leaderboard is my sworn enemy. i’m going to become fluent in Japanese out of spite to these strangers that have no idea i’ve randomly decided are my nemesis. every morning when i’ve moved up a leaderboard i sit there until i have over 1000xp just so my new foes fear me. i will crush them with my basic understanding of Japanese greetings
only issue is the people in second and third place keep trying to add me as a friend. they high five me and congratulate me when i do well. No. i cannot accept your praise. i cannot add you back. my irrational hatred is my motivator. if we complete friends quests together i will fall in love and will no longer be able to crush you
#you will not distract me with an enemies to lovers arc I am too powerful#(there is something deeply wrong with me)#at least I’ll be a bilingual supervillain#seriously though this is the longest I’ve committed to learning a language and I g enuinely haven’t struggled to keep up#this weird dynamic I’ve completely made up in my head has destroyed my executive dysfunction lmao#real life talk
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Surprise! late night drive home concert tonight 👀
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why did no one tell me that when i pursued a career in writing, i would have to deal with grammar????
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MJ’s Substack
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#mjL_substack#substack#real life talk#supportthiswriter#life#loveyourself#adulting#adult_adoptee#adoption#recovery#real life experiences#fresh content#make it trend
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oh my lord i am so giddy right now. my guy and i talked for SO long after a 1month breakup because his family found out and didnt approve and now that we're back together and i get to see his gorgeous face again and his gorgeous smile and the way he looks at me AGH im so in love with him i missed you so much darling cant believe hes back aaaaa AND STILL IN LOVE WITH ME
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bleh I set a boundary with a friend last month (like a real proper boundary, not a jonah hill boundary) and they have been super distant since despite my countless efforts to reach out...
today’s their birthday and I can’t stop thinking about how I wish I could spend the day with them but don’t want to push them if they’re already uncomfortable…
they’re out with other friends so I’m glad they’re having a good time. is it selfish to wish I was there with them?
friendships are hard
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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becoming a furry nonhuman otherkin objectum genderweird relationship anarchy freak has made me immune to weird conservative whatifs. "what if people want to identify as animals" let them "what if people want to marry furniture" let them "what if-" is it hurting YOU? personally? or are you just so joyless that you can't conceive a living thinking person that isn't as repressed and deprived of whimsy as you
EDIT: Incest and pedophilia (including simulated pedophilia) don’t count because they do hurt people. I can’t believe I have to say this but things that hurt people aren’t part of the list of things that are weird but don’t hurt people.
#doc talks#proshippers don’t interact!!!!!!!! you’re gross#I always tell myself im above pro/anti shit and then YOU come in all like ‘yes! incest doesn’t hurt anyone!’ fucking what#top ten sentences said by a person that thinks real life incest is glamorous like the incest on tv
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some days it’s really bothersome to have a body made of loose garbage and guts full of snakes
#not a good day#sometimes I remember that you're not supposed to be in pain 24/7#which sounds fake#but I have it on good authority that some people actually aren't in pain all the time#which is unfair#feels like my bones are out of position#and my belly is full of hate#chronic pain#real life talk
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i feel like there's gotta be a WEIRD puberty process in between the last two stages of inkling development. bc like there's no way THIS is an overnight change right.
inkling middle school is probably just full of 13 year olds full of the wrath of a thousand suns that their skin tone is taking so long to grow in
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seriously though nothing can stop me from interpreting Real Life as canon just for how it progresses the canary curse situation. i'm obsessed with it. the curse gets broken in secret life and then in the very next "series", as much of a joke as it is, you get a situation like THAT. jimmy enters a mineshaft and everyone but him dies. not just his team, though obviously it's more significant because they were all red, but ren/martyn/skizz all get a mineshaft-death apiece. that canary's not doing his job anymore. he escaped his cage and made a break for the surface and everyone else is paying the price for it, and i for one could not be more proud of that little bird.
#that's not to say however that real life is on the same level of seriousity as all the other life games#the watchers grabbed all these players from the aftermath of the wildest party anyone's ever seen#the only ones not hungover were the ones drinking until dawn (now sleep deprived and plastered)#no one's going to have more than the vaguest memories of what the hell happened there#none of them sure if that was an actual Game or if some genius thought it would be a great idea to play-act one. while drunk.#the watchers know though. the watchers think it was funny.#wotcher talk#solidaritygaming#life series#life series smp#life smp#trafficblr#life series spoilers#real life#real life smp#rlsmp
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the funniest thing the BBC could do during their recap of the year fireworks would be to play the queen death announcements
they won’t but it would be funny as fuck
(HAPPY NEW YEAR!)
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simp
#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life#this changes everything#I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on#anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing#I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat#ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing#like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems#I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai Osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#myart#I’m gonna post and pass out now
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