#queen’s dead innit

[komaedian]

Tesco has raised its meal deal prices above £3, the economy has officially collapsed

#I think this is one of the horsemen of the British apocalypse #i ain’t paying £3.40 for a chicken and sweetcorn sandwich some hula hoops and a fanta #this better be the first thing our new lettuce PM fixes #uk politics #british politics #queen’s dead innit #not danganronpa

[hornyfallenangel]

Say what you will about the French, but you can't say they don't know what to do with monarchs.

The French: guillotine party time, or exile to some random ass island

The Dutch: eat the incompetent mfer

The British: still trying to suck the king's toes or some shit

#fuck the monarchy #yes i know Napoleon wasn't a monarch but tyrant is close enough #seriously what are you guys doing on innit island? #I'll be caught dead before I capitalize the title of king or queen #i don't respect your inbred bloodline of 1%ers #hfapost

[ashedflower]

2022, Stop it!

Tell me why I had to find out about Queen Elizabeth's death from my older brother out of all people?!

First; Techno, Then; TFC, and now; Queen Elizabeth?!

2022, Stop killing important people in our lives!

#technobladeneverdiesinoursoul #fly high ThinFoilCheif #Rest well Queen Elizabeth II #mcyt community #inniters #The queen is ACTULLY dead #we must comfort Tommy

[geffjoldblums]

HOPE CHRISTOPHER ECCELSTON IS HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE RN

#queens dead innit #this is for u Chris ❤️

[vide0-nasties]

Going to be rambling insanely about Ghost and probably what his feelings on the monarchy would be, coming from one deeply damaged povo to another.

Anyway, specifically around the time the parasite in chief in her idiot hat (thanks Eccleston lub u) died and passed said idiot hat on, I was seeing a lot of (fun and gentle-ribbing, mind you!) posts about Ghost getting razzed about the queen croaking and maybe him being sad about it or something - I don’t really remember bc I have shit for brains and I just latch onto what bits my adhd will allow.

SO. I really don’t think Bruv Innit gave two shits about Liz buying the farm, bc he grew up working class in a working class town to a drug addicted, drug peddling dad, and a fairly nondescript mom who likely didn’t have a way to get her and her kids out of that shit situation (per ‘09 MW lore and some presumption). I imagine dude was dragged around a shitload of council estates and his dad’s friends’ shitty crash pads, no stability whatsoever, where food insecurity was a big ass forever-looming deal, mom had no idea if her 20 year old vauxhall was going to make it another trip to her minimum wage part time job, and school was forever on the back burner bc when it came to school supplies/trips vs eating and keeping the lights on. You can guess which one won.

If we’re also going with him being about 35-40ish, he would’ve been 10-12ish or so around Diana’s divorce and then her death. So, here’s this starving, horrendously abused kid, with his starving, horrendously abused mother and little brother, drowning in a system that is pretty much just letting them sink to the bottom, nothing is being done about the evil sperm donor that ruins everything for them, and he’s obliterated constantly by TV coverage and tabloids and radio DJs talking about this goddamned family’s stupid fucking drama. Charles cheated, Diana left, her poor boys in their fancy private schools with their endless wealth and glowing skin and brand new clothes that don’t stink of consignment shops are sad.

Sorrows - sorrows, prayers. 🫶

It’s a story he’s seen countless times, the only difference is money and coverage. And, realistically, the women in the stories he knows aren’t killed in car wrecks, they’re killed by their infuriated husbands who think they’re owed something catching up. Maybe that’s why his mom doesn’t leave the cocksucker that trapped her, she could’ve ended up another council house Diana that no one gave a shit about.

He grows up, becomes a butcher’s apprentice, joins the army. Straightens his brother out, makes sure his mom is set up nice, finally beats the shit out of his dad. And all the while, there looms the most fucking pointless, parasitic family in England: living off taxes taken from the public, god knows how much land and how many castles, even owning all the fucking swans on the island.

Relics, vampires, leeches.

But, you know, twenty years down the road, he’s pushing 40, his services to the country are done in the dark, the family he tried so badly to save were brutally cut down anyway, and when he goes to Tesco, the price of a fifth of piss Smirnoff is insane, and he’s still got Soap swimming in his head mid-rant bc his mam’s fucking knee replacement appeal has been denied for the third time and she can’t even walk anymore, Gaz is moving for the second time in a year bc he just can’t afford to live close to his parents even on his salary, meanwhile there was a stretch where it looked like Philip was surviving solely by being pumped full of virgin blood and straight stem cells.

So, yeah, if anything he probably said cheers when the news broke and cracked a couple extra jokes that day.

“What d’you call one dead Windsor? A good start.”

Edit: This is picking up some traction. @50cal-fullauto-astarion is my CoD blog if you like my Call of Bullshit stuff, this is my main and I don’t really go into CoD here

#simon ghost riley #modern warfare ii #ghost cod #call of duty #mw2 #ghost #I’m mentally ill and I love that he is also mentally ill and probably looks at the monarchy with disgust #if he can vote depending on whether he’s legally dead or not he voted no on brexit #some rando at base is like ‘how can you make a joke like that think about the children they lost their nan’ #and he just goes ‘I’ll hunt those little shits for sport’

[wehavecomeforyourprivateschools]

Britain is a parody innit. The media, ruling class etc are hysterically mourning the loss of a queen while most people just crack on un-arsed but resenting the fact we have to pay 6bn to bury the idiot, meanwhile the MET police murder another black man called Chris Kaba, this the MET who partly work for and are answerable to the king aka the next idiot to replace the dead idiot.

[impider]

DOSSIER CHEAT SHEET. [ let's do this one last time . . . ]

BASICS

LEGAL NAME : jesoluba jesiah amal eze [ a very religious yoruba name that he is extremely protective and secretive of . his first two names mean ' jesus is king ' and ' the lord exists ' , respectfully . he hasn't told anyone his full real name since adopting his moniker as a high school freshmen . he never plans to again due to a combination of how seriously he takes his faith , his culture and the ridicule he suffered from racially ignorant school children and communities growing up as a black / yoruba young man in london ] . NICKNAME[S] : kulta [ primary nickname , a chosen moniker that he exclusively goes by in friendly and even professional environments . it is a finnish name that means ' gold ' ] . king kulta / kulta king [ his chosen name / moniker in full ] . eshu-elegba [ literally do not ever call him this or even utter this name in his presence . this is the name of the yoruba crossroads deity that he made a deal with to gain his powers and fame . he is very strict about the fact that he is not the crossroads deity , but merely taking their place and paying back a debt . kulta can be summoned at the crossroads by this name , but again , being so religious , he believes saying it will summon the original deity and bring on some wicked onslaught ] . SPIDER TRICKSTER / CROSSROADS SPIDER / DEMON SPIDER [ " you rang ? " ] . jj / jay - jay [ in reference to his real name . exclusively for his parents , uncle and those bastard cousins that wanna claim him after his come up ] . DATE OF BIRTH : the twenty - fourth of october [ it should be mentioned that kulta follows the yoruba calendar and doesn't believe in western zodiacs or birth charts . instead , he recognizes his birth month as being dedicated to Ṣìgìdì - Òrìṣà of Òrún-Apadi, the realm of the unsettled spirits and the ghosts of the dead that have left Aye and are forsaken of Òrún-Rere (Heaven) ] . GENDER : cis man . PLACE OF BIRTH : london , england in the queens borough . [ his london has been split into boroughs similar to new york named after the monarchy ] . CURRENTLY LIVING : inter dimensional traveling tour bus . SPOKEN LANGUAGES : yoruba [ first language ] , fon , bariba , dendi , french , german [ conversational , taken in school ] , and english . EDUCATION : high school . HAIR COLOR : black . EYE COLOR : light brown . HEIGHT : 6'1" / 185.4 cm . WEIGHT : 168 lbs / 76.2 kg .

FAMILY INFORMATION

SIBLING[S] : none . PARENT[S] : anuoluwapo " anu " tiwa eze [ mother , alive ] . adebiyi amal eze [ father , alive ] . RELATIVE[S] : bamidele adisa eze [ paternal uncle , missing ] . CHILDREN : none . PET[S] : there's an orange cat with zero braincells that lives on the tour bus . kulta refuses to name it because he keeps telling his band they're not keeping it . it's been there for two years now .

RELATIONSHIP INFORMATION

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : he hates you , don't worry . RELATIONSHIP STATUS : as multiship as it gets but he's mean and noncommittal . SINCE WHEN : " you tryin t' marry me or something ? issa nice day for a white wedding , innit ? "

tagged by : @hatethepm + @fangwebs [ TY. KISSES FOR MY FRIENDS ] .

tagging : mostly everyone i know has been tagged , but if you haven't and you see this , i'm tagging you ! [ jk , special tag for the love of my life , @spidersiren ] .

#✧⠀⠀━━ ARCHIVED UNDER⠀⠀/⠀⠀KULTA KING⠀⠀. #✧⠀⠀━━ ARCHIVED UNDER⠀⠀/⠀⠀KULTA KING⠀⠀:⠀⠀INTROSPECTION⠀⠀.

[literaphobe]

something kinda insane about finding out the queen is dead because of 18 year old tommy innit

#like i saw his tweet then googled it

[annikasevenshots]

Star Trek Picard: S2E1 Rewatch Reaction (spoilers!)

Only thing in my head is Star Trek: Retirement Home. let's go senior citizens!

Laris you are everything. You are girlboss. You are. The world. ♥️

Laris is just so soft. I love her.

Romance slightly more palatable this time round just wish they didn't have picard fall in love with a lookalike first

RAFFI SITTING ON THE STAGE NEXT TO PICARD SO TRUE

RAFFI WINK RAFFI WINK

ELNOR BABY ELNOR BABYYYYYYY YES ELNOR FIRST ROMULAN SO PROUD OF YOU MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Raffi's little nod at "look up" SHE IS SO PRETTY

TRANSITION TO BEAT UP LA SIRENA SO TRUE

SEVEN HI!!!!!!!! HER LIL FACE!

Seven with a wrench so true

Seven's eye roll?????????? I LOVE HER

EMMET

SEVEN TACKLE SEVEN TACKLE SEVEN TACKLE SEVEN T

actually dead

SMILEY SEVEN SMILEY SEVEN HAPPY SMILEY SEVEN BABY SMILEY SEVEN

Seven's "No" at Emmet?? She is baby

"Developmentally appropriate relationship skills" and yet she's still the perfect match for Raffi <3 feral cat x golden retriever energy

Oh soji you are everything <3

oh agnes (fond headshake)

LET SOJI BREAK INTO DIPLOMATIC SONGS YOU COWARDS

hahahaha drunk agnes waltzing into the bridge

STARGAZER PAN SO TRUE 😍

HAHAHAHA PICARD TALKING ABOUT UPDATING THE KOBAYASHI MARU AND THEN HIM DOING IT IN THE COMICS

Elnor baby!! Elnor's music!!!!!

Raffi being protective of Elnor now that I know the context? Lowkey soulcrushing. God raffi you're killing me with how human you are

Raffi's little wink AGAIN YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE

BABY SMILEY SEVEN SHOWING BIG BROTHER RIOS THE SHIP SHE SCUFFED UP

seven is so punk rock and so baby about it at the same time i love her. baby punk. baby smiley cheerful baby

"What are you doing here?" RIOS AND SEVEN BEING SIBLING ENERGY THEY'RE SO BABY

"My ship" "correction: MY ship" THEY 🥺♥️

why the fUCK DID WE WRITE RIOS OUT THIS HURTS MEEEEEEEE I NEED SEVEN RIOS INTERACTION

Lieutenant Sing's hair! Pretty!!!

Listen i know the show is called star trek picard but "help us, picard" is laying it on a little thick with the main character energy

Kind of zoned out during Picard and Guinan's scene but LOL everyone telling Picard to go to therapy. lowkey laying it thick innit. Raffi's lowkey right though this season really has been Picard ripping through the fabric of time and space to heal his inner hurt. ever heard of a psych eval y'all?

Laris ❤️‍🩹

SEVEN!!! SMILEY BABY SEVEN!!!!!!!!! SWAGGERY SEVEN!!!!

God i forgot how smiley Seven was in the first episode. fenris seven was HAPPY SEND. TWEET.

Fenris Seven was HAPPY FENRIS SEVEN WAS HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY. FENRIS. SEVEN. a whole BABY.

Seven's voice getting deeper when talking about the borg? and how people distrust her still? oh seven 🥺❤️‍🩹

i just. seven of fricking NINE

jeri ryan's acting ages like fine wine 🤌🤌🤌

Seven and Rios 🤝 on being careful? i actually love them both so much they can do no wrong

Seven and Rios are such an underrated duo i love. them 🥺

HAHAHA Seven taking her baby phaser from her belt. having seen her lug a CHONK MACHINE GUN this is so funnyyyyyy

LMAO JURATI JUDGING THE QUEEN'S ATTIRE BABYGIRL YOU CAME UP WITH THIS

"we require... POWER" IS SUCH A BASED LINE UNTIL YOU REALISE THE QUEEN LITERALLY JUST NEEDS BATTERIES LMAO

Ngl though this Borg Queen's costume is BASED. hell this season's costumes are AMAZING. i LOVE the embossed wiring on the fabric. love love love. shiny shiny love shiny

PICARD ZERO ZERO ZERO DESTRUCT ZERO??????????????? THIS HAS EVE POLASTRI 1-2-3-4 ENERGY LMFAO

AYYYYYYYY CONFED!VERSE!!!!!! love me some evil twin worlds mmmmmm

Picard SHOUTING for Laris?? Hehehehe

BONJOUR Q

costumes are based. they're leng. they're peng. whatever the kids are calling it these days

In conclusion I watched this instead of Rings of Power. Seven of Nine you are my actual sunshine. Spinoff when???

#expect more salty rewatch reactions #i gotta be honest this was... Not a Good Season #but still better than rings of power ig #reaction #picard rewatch reaction #s2e1

[komaedian]

The two times I’ve checked twitter today were once at 5:30am to be greeted with Toby Fox writing fan fiction because Sans won some sexyman contest and then again at 6:30pm to only find out that the fucking queen has died, I can only conclude that Sans is the new King of England (🫡 ) and that I should stop using twitter

#i’m so tired #But congrats to sans tho #Nagito was robbed in that poll he shoulda beat the Pokémon guy #Also rip Liz I guess #not danganronpa #queen Elizabeth #queen’s dead innit

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Hump Day!

I was listening to last week’s ‘A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’ (and what a damn fine show it is) and I was listening closely to the lyrics of ‘Don’t Go Messing With My Heart’. It reminded me of this insightful thing that Bob Marley once said. He wasn’t just one of the greatest songwriters of all-time, he was also a very empathetic man. Marley once said, “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.” Those words have always stuck with me. Cowards start something and, once the woman starts ‘catching feelings’, the coward backs away. In my past, I admit, I guess I’ve messed with women’s hearts, and I’ve certainly had my heart trampled on a few times! Listen, women can be clumsy and careless too! Why do we do this? Some people don’t give a damn, of course. Men, in particular, will say absolutely ANYTHING to get a woman into bed. Men will literally promise a future just to get their end away. A future! Men will literally lie about wanting a relationship and marriage and kids JUST to get inside a woman’s drawers! And this always brings me back to the words of another very wise person, legendary madam, Cynthia Payne. Ms. Payne suggested that men are a lot more considered and coherent once they’ve “de-spunked”. Until that physical reaction has occurred, men are just talking – not to put too fine a point on it – shit!

I don’t wish to put you off your breakfast but, amazingly, people use wet wipes and just flush them straight down the toilet. As you know, some people pour hot cooking oil straight down the sink. So, as you can imagine, this delightful combination of waste matter, wet wipes, food and cooking oil congeals together to make this ultra thick, ultra juicy ‘fatberg’ down in the sewer. Someone then has the unpleasant task of breaking down these blockages into smaller pieces, so they can float away into the sea (and we can swim in them!) What a great job! No, people, wet wipes don’t dissolve!

How very kind of City News to post a free ‘Special Coronation Edition’ through my letterbox! I’m supposed to get excited about a man that had an affair with his wife’s friend, failed to protect his wife from a paparazzi that ultimately hounded her and hunted her down until she was dead, paid no inheritance tax on his mum’s billions (in a time of hardship for many), and installed his mistress as the new queen. Even if he didn’t love Diana, Charles should have tried every member of the paparazzi (and their editors) for treason, protected his wife, and then at least William and Harry would still have a mother! No, I won’t be celebrating the coronation. This free newspaper will line my dustbin!

I adore chocolate and I know a bargain when I see one! My local Tesco is selling-off £4.00 chocolate Easter eggs for £1.00. That deal is too good to resist. My family are NOT impressed, though I suspect they pretend to be appalled at my greed. Thankfully, I have managed to convince that it is NOT me buying the chocolate eggs but that they are breeding in our dining room while we sleep!

Want to know what it’s like in my house? At lunch time, I said to The Trouble, “What do you want in your sandwich? Bacon or egg!” “BOTH!” she said. And, that’s what it’s like in our house! Just call me Cinderella! So, I grilled the bacon, scrambled the eggs and she had both! “I’m so lucky!” she said, as she chomped into her sarnie. Happy wife, happy life, innit?

Have a wonderful and well-endowed Wednesday. I love you all. Yes, a crazy, bald man loves and cares about you.

#mixcloud #mi soul #dj #music #new blog #lockdown #coronavirus #books #weekend #democracy #brexit #cronyism #election #radio

[ranzal]

This just in: the queen's dead body tour will be expedited because she's really starting to stink up the car

"We forgot to turn on the freezer function," the driver of the queenmobile stated. "She's really starting to smell bad innit"

[natura-est-sacellum]

Not gonna lie, I don't even care that the queen is dead. I'm just tired of the teeth gnashing from the press and American nobodies acting like they knew her and had tea with her on Friday afternoons personally. You didn't. You've probably never even been to England. You probably don't know what British Tea entails. You probably don't even like tea. Stop it. Stop making everything about yourself. Stop crying over a politician (barely) in another country! Stop saying you are shocked by her death; she was 96. This was not surprising to anyone. Everything regarding the monarchy that's popped up on my feed in the past 2 years has been about one of three things: 1) Prince Andrew being pedo besties with Epstein; 2) Harry and Meghan's bullshit attention-seeking; or 3) when Queen Elizabeth II will kick the bucket. Face it, the news has been DYING for this day. They've definitely had articles about her death written up for YEARS now, just WAITING for today so they can clear up their back logs of pieces left half-written, empty spaces waiting for the details of her death.

Also, it's astounding how many articles sweep under the rug the Epstein shenanigans with Prince Andrew, Duke of York. Yeah, he still has his lands and titles. Funny, innit?

And before anybody comes at me saying I'm being disrespectful, that this is too soon or whatever, you can shove it. I'm being realistic. The media is a quackery. Narcissists are everywhere online. Stop getting defensive about someone you never met, in a country you've never been to, for a monarch you've never lived under.

#Don't come at me you know I'm right

[rcedge]

AT LEASHT OWAH SCOOLS AINT GUN RANGES... YOUR KIDS GET A BIT SHOT UP INNIT? crowd really really mad about dead queen jokes.

[thecursedhellblazer]

Send 📱 for five texts my muse didn't send yours, and one that they did || Accepting !

@lostxndbroken sent: 📱 (Ollie)

Texts not sent ✘ [text to: Archer Boy] Oi, just letting you know that I almost died. Again. Brill, innit? One of these days...There's no bloody signal in Hell. [text to: Archer Boy] Bloody fuckin hell, some fuckwit stole my friggin wallet. Joke's on them cause there ain't shit inside, but...I need a new (fake) ID. [text to: Archer Boy] Have I ever mentioned that I sold my soul to three demons? And they still own it, all three of them. One of them is the biggest shot down there. Aye, I'm royally fucked, mate. [text to: Archer Boy] Been thinking lately...and aye, I know that it ain't something I should do, but...why in the Nines do you like me? I'm a fucking walking curse. Everyone who gets too close end up damned or dead or permanently disabled or completely amnesiac...or who knows what other shit. Go ask all my exes and former friends...the next time you go to a séance. [text to: Archer Boy] what if i dreaw a huge ass ugly someting on a wall. smoewhere against athorities or shit. wuold be brill aye? should do it. wll do it. whne im not so drunk thta I cant fukcin stand

Text sent ✓ [text to: Archer Boy] Ey, Queen. Gonna be in the neighbourhood tonight. Wanna grab a bevvy? I swear that no friggin ghoul will interrupt us this time.

#* Blokes like me? We cheat. * ::ic:: #&& Oliver Queen #* Nobody should fight demons on an empty stomach. * ::casual interactions:: #v. We live in a world of darkness #lostxndbroken #(( ofc John has Oliver saved with some silly nickname x'D )) #(( also roller coast of different sort of messages 'cause we can't have him any other way )) #(( relax and work flows just fine. ::queue:: ))

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

in your homeland they all call you queen

by rosewitchx

I know you, Tommy Innit, the whisper tells him, startling him once more. Don’t be afraid. The moment he hears the whisper, of course, both he and the server are doomed. But a frog never realizes the water’s boiling until it’s already dead.

After the prison confrontation but before Wilbur leaves, the Egg returns, and Tommy isn't immune anymore.

Words: 883, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), The Crimson Egg (Dream SMP), Wilbur Soot, Dream SMP Ensemble

Relationships: The Crimson Egg (Dream SMP) & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eggpire TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Short One Shot, Ambiguous/Open Ending, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Mind Control, Brainwashing, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings

#ao3feed #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #crimeboys #crime boys #crimebois #crime bois #mcyt #This is an automated process #If you see any fic that breaks boundaries #or the fic is yours and you don't want it shared send an ask #it will be looked at and removed if need be