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fandomqueen1000 · 2 months

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The Father Hunt

Wendigo

Two tents were set up near a fire ring, and you could hear crickets chirping. Inside one of the tents, two young men named Brad and Gary were playing head to head handheld video games.

"Dude, you're cheating." Brad complains. "No, you just suck!" Gary rebuts, slightly miffed at his friends accusation. Something growls outside while in the other tent, a young man named Tom Collins lies on his bed recording a video message.

"Hey Hailey, day six. We're still out near Blackwater Ridge." A shadow flashes behind Tom, the camera barely picking it up, but he doesn't notice. "We're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, okay? Talk to you tomorrow." He stops recording and sends the message to his girlfriend of three months, whom convinced him to go on this trip.

In the other tent, Brad closes his game system and tosses it aside. Gary stares at his system for a moment, then turns to look at him, who is getting up and unzipping the tent. "Hey, where ya goin'? My moment of victory." He complains, as he was so close to winning. In his head at least.

"Sorry man, nature calls."

Brad goes outside and zips up the tent behind him. He goes to stand against the tree to relieve himself while the fire crackles. Something snaps a stick and Brad glances towards the sound and sees the trees rustling. He shakes his head and returns his attention downward, then looks up sharply as something growls. In both tents, the boys look up as they hear their friend scream.

"Brad?" "Bud, what's going on?" The two ask as they unzip their tents. Suddenly something grabs Gary. Tom screams as the thing grabs him as well, dragging him into the dark.

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Birds chirp as Sam, wearing a suit and tie and carrying a bouquet of various flowers, though no roses, walks through an otherwise deserted cemetery.

He sighs and stops next to a gravestone. It reads "JESSICA LEE MOORE", "Beloved Daughter", "January 24th 1984 – November 2nd 2005". There is a small picture of a grinning Jess set into the stone above her name, a black-and-white picture of her leaning against the stone between a white teddy bear and a wooden box with a crucifix leaning on the picture, a small American flag next to the box, and three candles standing on the gravestone; one of the Virgin de Guadalupe.

Sam looks between the grave and the flowers.

"I, uh..." He laughs. "You always said roses were, were lame, so I brought you, uh... everything else."

Sam looks at the picture set into the gravestone, then looks away, choking back tears. He steps closer to the gravestone, tears clouding his eyes.

"Jess, oh god. I miss you so freaking much. I should have protected you. I should have told you the truth." He says, kneeling as he puts the flowers next to the crucifix, when an arm covered in dirt shoots out of the ground and grabs him by the wrist.

He jerks awake in the shotgun seat with his brother driving and sister in the backseat, the dream nothing but that: a dream. He shakes his head as the sound of the music helps him move the dream to the back of his mind for now. He smiles, as he remembers that this was the song the three of them had done together when they had snuck into a bar.

Dean glances over at his brother. "Glad you're up. You okay though? You looked like you were having a nightmare." Sam looks over at his overprotective older brother, then to his younger sister. "Yeah, I'm good, Jay still asleep?" He quickly changes the subject. Dean nods. "We'll wake her up later, she barely sleeps as it is. You want to drive for a while?" Sam laughs, then sees his brothers serious look. "Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that." "Jeez, relax, just thought you might want to because-" "Look, man, you're worried about me." Sam cuts him off. "I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay." "Mm-hm." Dean mumbles, clearly not believing him. Sam sighs, then grabs a map from the glove compartment, where he had stored it before falling asleep.

"All right, where are we?" He says, talking more to the map than his brother. "We are just outside of Grand Junction. Man, last time we passed through here, Jay punched that fat, greasy guy in the face, remember?" Sam laughs at the memory, before glancing back down at the map of Colorado, which has a large red X labelled 35-111.

"You know what?" Sam asks his brother, not looking up. "Hm?" Dean glances at his brother then back at the road. "Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon." He sighs, remembering where he spent some of his happiest days. "Sam, we dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica-" "We gotta find dad first." Sam finishes, determination evident in his eyes.

"Dad disappearing and this thing showing up again after twenty years, it's no coincidence." Dean says, clearly showing he had put a lot of thought into it. "Dad'll have answers. He'll know what to do." 'And hopefully not beat the shit out of Jay if he finds out she tried to leave.' Sam thinks, remembering that last time his sister tried to run. She was 16, and had grown tired of the constant abuse, so she ran. She was gone for two months, before dad had found her, and when he did, Sam didn't see her for a week and she flinched from his hugs for a month. Even though she though he couldn't, he'd seen the marks, though he wasn't sure what caused them.

"Dude, you listening?" "Huh, yeah, this's just really weird man, these coordinates he left us, this Blackwater Ridge, there's nothing out there; it's just woods." He puts down the map, and glances at his sister. "Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?" He states as they pass a sign welcoming them to Lost Creek.

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They park the Impala next to a sign that says "Ranger Station: Lost Creek Trail, Lost Creek National Forest".

"So Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote." Sam says as he studies a 3D map, especially the part of and surrounding the place their dad sent them while Dean looks at decorations and Jay does research on her laptop. "It's cut off by these canyons here, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place." Jay glances up and laughs softly. "Maybe he came here to get rich? I mean, silver and gold are worth a lot right now." Dean ignores her and laughs at something. "Dude, check out the size of this freaking bear." Jay glares at him. "Respect it dumbass, we may not have encountered an animal ghost yet, but that doesn't mean we won't. Besides, it was once a majestic creature, so cut it out before I smack you." She threatens. Dean raised his hands in surrender and slunks away from the taxidermy. "And a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It's no nature hike, that's for sure." Sam says, continuing to list what's around what is beginning to seem more dangerous than what they had expected.

A forest ranger walks in, Wilkinson from the look of his tag, Jay notes, and walks up behind them.

"You boys aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?" Jay laughs as her brothers spin around, clearly startled. "Dammit, you saw him and didn't warn us?" Dean say to her, playful irritation in his voice. "Oh, no, sir, we're environmental study majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper." Jay says sweetly. "Recycle man!" Dean says playing along. Jay and Sam rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Please ignore him, he's just doing it for the easy degree." "Hey no I'm- yeah, yeah I am."

The ranger raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment. "Bull. You're friends with that Haley girl right, I mean, you girl barely look high school age."

"Okay, first of all, I'm 22, second..." Jay thinks for a second, considering the outcome of each. "Yeah, we are, ranger Wilkinson."

"Well I will tell you exactly what we told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn't be back from Blackwater until the twenty-fourth, so it's not exactly a missing persons now, is it?"

Jay hides a glare at her brothers. She had told them that it wasn't a missing persons yet, but did they listen? No.

"You tell that girl to quit worrying, I'm sure her brother's just fine."

"Of course, she's just so freaking worried, like, it's all she goes on about, um, so do you think you could show me it, the permit I mean, and maybe get a copy for her, so she relaxes? I mean, she's my best friend, and I love her, but if I hear one more time 'oh, he's probably dead' imma lose it."

He smiles at Jay, and gives her a copy, and the three of them make their leave.

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"Dean, I swear to fucking god, if you're just going to see this girl for a hook up, I will murder your ass. I mean, we have the coordinates, lets just go!" Dean shrugs. "I'm not, I swear. Just, maybe we should know what we're walking into before we actually walk into it?"

Jay raises her eyebrows. Her brother was not like that. "Uh-huh. That's my job, Sam's the worrier and you're the dumb-ass who shoots first and asks questions later, living like everyday is his last. So who the fuck are you, and get out of my brother, or I'll make you eat salt."

Dean laughs. "It's me Jay, chill, besides, since when are you all shoot first ask questions later, anyway?"

Jay glances at Sam. She knows that he's hurting and needs revenge soon, or he'll become another John Winchester, and that's something she can't deal with. "I'm not really, but you and Sam both are now, and you're both bigger than me- don't even think it Dean- so there's no real point in arguing."

Sam gets in and slams the passenger door shut. Jay and Dean share a glance, conveying the same message before getting in: we need to find yellow-eyes, and fast.

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"Stay back this time, OK Jay. You don't exactly look the part of a park ranger, so stay in the car and figure out the best route." Jay sighed, knowing she wasn't getting out of this one. She nodded and watched her brothers greet Haley and show her their fake IDs before heading in.

She glanced down at the map, quickly finding the best route, though it would take them a day or two to reach the ridge still.

Jay folded up the map and let her mind wander. I mean, did she really want her dad back? He had been torturing the living shit out of her for years- he hated her. She could run, go to Bobby's, or maybe the road house, the place she had stayed for a few nights when she ram away when she was 16 to make enough money to get to New York. Jo and Ellen were nice, and they told her to come back when ever.

She shot out of her musings when her brothers came back.

"What did you two idiots get?" She asked, ready to get going. "It's gonna take us a few days to get there, so tell me while you drive."

"Well, she likes the car-" "Important stuff Dean." "You're no fun. Fine, she says she knows Tommy's in trouble because he hasn't checked in in a couple of days. In the last video he sent her, a big shadow ran past in the background. We promised we'd find her brother, she said she might see us 'cause she hired a guy and she forwarded the videos to Sam."

Jay quickly ran through that. "Her being out there might be a bad thing, but you said you saw a shadow? If it moved that fast, it might be a wendigo." Dean shrugged. "Maybe, but did you find a route?" Jay sighed. "The fastest one their will take a couple of hours. We should head out tomorrow, get somewhere to sleep tonight."

The trio agreed, and at Deans insistence headed to a bar.

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There was a game of pool going on as they all sat at the bar, Jay getting carded there and at the bar.

"So, on the way here I looked through dads journal. Last April, two hikers went missing, no remains found, bear attack was the official story, and in 1982, eight went missing; grizzly attack, and before that in 1959 and again before that in 1936. Every twenty three years like clockwork." Jay said while nursing an alcoholic apple cider.

She checked the video's, "Thanks for giving that girl my email Sam, and after watching these twenty someodd times, I noticed something."

Jay pulls up the video and played a certain section, a shadow moving quickly across it.

"Play it again."

She complies to her oldest brothers request.

"That's three frames. A fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move." She says. "My wendigo theory is becoming more and more likely."

The three share a look.

"One more thing. In 'fifty-nine one camper survived this supposed grizzly attack. Just a kid. Barely crawled out of the woods alive."

Sam looks

over at her.

"Does the kid have a name?" "Yes, duh he has a name." "I mean did you find one."

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They pull up outside of Mr. Shaws house, the man who was attacked, and are invited in, Jay staying outside again.

"Look, ranger, I don't know why you're asking me about this. It's public record. I was a kid. My parents got mauled by a-" "Grizzly? That's what attacked them?" Sam interrupts, still annoyed at Dean for making Jay stay outside; she would have gotten the info in 30 seconds flat.

Shaw blows a puff of smoke from his cigarette and nods.

"The other people that went missing that year, those bear attacks too?" Dean continues, now regretting his decision to leave Jay outside.

With no reply, Dean keeps talking.

"What about all the people that went missing this year? Same thing?"

Getting annoyed at the mans lack of reply, Dean keeps going.

"We knew what we were dealing with, we might be able to stop it."

Shaw finally speaks up. "I seriously doubt that. Anyways, I don't see what difference it would make. You wouldn't believe me. Nobody ever did."

He sits down, and Sam sits across from him.

"Mr. Shaw, what did you see?"

Shaw takes a deep breath and tells them something he hasn't told anyone in years.

"Nothing. It moved too fast to see. It hid too well. I heard it, though. A roar. Like...no man or animal I ever heard."

"It came at night?" Dean questions, thankful they were finally getting somewhere.

Shaw nods. "It got inside our cabin. I was sleeping in front of the fireplace when it came in. It didn't smash a window or break the door. It unlocked it. Do you know of a bear that could do something like that? I didn't even wake up till I heard my parents screaming. Don't even know how it killed them, just dragged them off into the night." he shakes his head. "Why it left me alive...been asking myself that ever since."

He reaches and pulls down his collar.

"Did leave me this, though." He says, revealing three long scratches. Sam and Dean share a look: their sister was right.

"There's something evil in those woods. It was some sort of a demon."

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After they got to the motel they were staying, they filled Jay in.

"I knew it was a wendigo!" She cheered before stopping. "Oh shit, it's a wendigo."

Dean hides a smirk at his sisters enthusiasm, the most energetic she has been since the fire.

"At least we know how to kill it. But we can't let that Haley girl go in there."

"You're not wrong, but she's leaving in the morning, and it's not safe at night, even with our knowledge." Sam says, ever the smart one. "Come on man! I don't wanna baby-sit!" "Dean stop being a baby."

They pack the impala and after Jay goes to bed, Sam pulls Dean aside.

"Dean, I'm worried about Jay." "What do you think she can't handle the hunt? She had ghosts begging for mercy after she lectured them for hours when she was ten!" Dean replied incredulous, as well as surprised that his brother, his sisters biggest supporter was saying that.

"I'm not worried about the hunt, I'm worried about what'll happen when we find dad. He blames her for something, maybe about mom, but what I do know is that if he finds out that she almost left with me, there'll be hell to pay, in the form of I don't know what, but it'll all be on her."

Dean stared at his brother.

"Come on man, dad wouldn't do tha-" Sam just stares at him. "He would?" Sam nods. "I don't know how long it's been going on for, but even in the recording, there was some sort of warning about Jay."

Dean sighed. "We'll cross, or burn is more likely that bridge when we come to it. Now, come on, let's get some sleep."

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The Winchesters pull up to the forest and see Haley and Ben arguing with a guy, something about Ben staying home, though Ben doesn't look pleased about that as he cocked a shot-gun.

"Look, you're paying me good money to keep everybody safe. I think Ben's safest at home." They hear the other guy saying as they step out.

"You guys got room for two more?" Jay asks. "Who are these guys?" "Apparently this is all the park service could muster up for the search and rescue."

Jay pretends to shrug of the insult. "Be glad you're getting us. It took ages to convince them." "You're rangers?" Jay nods. "Yep, I know I especially look young, but we are, Mr. whatever-your-name-is." "It's Roy." "And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?" Haley continues.

Dean looks down at his attire.

"Well, sweetheart, I don't do shorts." He says as he walks past her.

"What, you think this is funny? It's dangerous back country out there. Her brother might be hurt." The Roy guy says, a little pissed off. The trio turn back.

"Believe us, we know how dangerous it can be. We just wanna help them find their brother, that's all."

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The rag tag groups hikes through the forest with Roy at the lead.

"Roy, you said you did a little hunting." Dean says, starting up conversation.

"Yeah, more than a little." "Uh-huh. What kind of furry critters do you hunt?" "Mostly buck, sometimes bear." "Tell me, uh, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?" He continued, passing Roy. Jay lunges forward and yanks back her older brother.

"Bear trap. Nice going girly. You should watch where you're stepping though ranger." Roy says, poking at the trap with a stick, causing it to snap shut. Jay rolls her eyes at the nickname.

"You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffel bag. You're not rangers." Haley says, finally putting the pieces together.

Jay smiles. She likes this girl.

"The three of us are, and we're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that we're in the same boat." Jay says, hoping the half truth might appease them.

"Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?" "Um... I'm telling you now. 'sides, it's probably the most honest I've ever been with a person. ...ever. So we okay?" After a pause she replies. "Yeah, okay."

"And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions?" Dean pipes in, reaching in his pack and pulls out a big bag of peanut M&Ms. Jay rolls here eyes and mutters about idiotic brothers, before walking on.

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"This is it. Blackwater Ridge." Roy announces. Jay glances at a GPS. "Coordinates: N 35o 45.383, W 111o 00.55."

The siblings share a look: this was it.

They listen around, but here nothing. "Sam, do you hear that?" Jay whispers. "Not even crickets."

"Imma go take a look around." Roy announces. "You shouldn't go by yourself." Dean quickly jumps in. "That's sweet. Don't worry about me." He says, waving a gun. "Five bucks says he gets taken Sam says. "Deal."

"Alright, everyone else, stay together." Dean says, taking charge.

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Everyone save Roy is looking around a large-ish rock when they hear Roy call out: "Haley! Over here!" Haley runs towards him, closely followed by the others. "Oh my god!" She cries out. "Not God last time I checked." Jay mutters under her breath, having always had a sort of underlying resentment to God, though she did love the angels, but was slightly horrified all the same, but not as bad as Haley, having grown a shield to prevent herself from freaking out.

The tents are torn open and bloody and all the supplies are scattered.

"Looks like a grizzly." Roy says as the Winchesters share a look. "Tommy?" Haley calls, then proceeds to run through the campsite. "Tommy!" Jay runs to her. "Shh." "Tommy!" She continues to cry, close to tears, so Jay grabbed her. "Shut up! Something might still be out there."

"Jay!"

She runs over to her brothers. "It's a wendigo all right."

Haley is inspecting her brothers tent at the same time. She looks over his phone, which is bloody and the back popped off.

"He-hey, he could still be alive." Jay hopes her words bring at least a sliver of comfort to the girl.

"Help! Help!" They all quickly look around, but don't see anyone, and Roy leads everyone in a quick search. "Help! Somebody!"

"There's no one her- shit. Everyone, get back to camp!" They rush back to find it completely ransacked.

"Our packs!" Haley cries, while Roy mutters something about his GPS and satellite phone. "What the hell is going on?" The girl half-shrikes out. "It's smart. It wants to cut us off so we can't call for help." "You mean someone, some nutjob out there just stole all our gear." Roy says, incredulous. "Dean, Jay come over here." The two separate off from the little group and approach Sam. "Oh yeah, this is definitely a wendigo." He says. "See, I told you, now aren't you glade we brought flame-throwers- which were in our stolen packs. Shit. Well, we gotta at least get these people out of here."

Sam agrees and goes to try and convince the people to leave, and Dean goes with him.

When Jay see an argument though she steps in.

"All right, enough, all of you." Haley stepped in as well. "Tommy might still be alive. And I'm not leaving here without him." Jay sees that the girl would not back down, and after a pregnant silence, Dean spoke up. "It's getting late. This thing is a good hunter in the day, but an unbelievable hunter at night. We'll never beat it, not in the dark. We need to settle in and protect ourselves." Haley looks confused at him. "How?"

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The group builds a campfire while Jay draws symbols in the dirt and patiently explains them to Haley.

"One more time, that's-" "Anasazi symbols. It's for protection. The wendigo can't cross over them."

Roy snorts, with his gun over his shoulder. Jay rolls here eyes. "No one likes a skeptic Red Arrow." He gives her a confused look. "You know, Green Arrows protégé, Roy Harper, Red Arrow? Never mind."

She goes and sits next to her brothers who were in the middle of a conversation.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tell you the truth Sammy, I don't think Dad's ever been to Lost Creek." "Then let's get these people back to town Dean, and let's hit the road. Go find Dad. I mean, why are we still even here?"

"That's how." Jay steps in. "That book. That's Dad's single most valuable possession- everything he knows about every evil thing is in there. And he's passed it on to us, or well probably you two, but still. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business." She finishes with dramatic air quotes on family business part, a reference to how it took so long to convince Dad to let her hunt.

"That makes no sense. Why doesn't he just-call us? Why doesn't he-tell us what he wants, tell us where he is?" Sam says, shaking his head. "I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's giving us a job to do, and I intend to do it." Dean pipes up. "Dean...no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about." Jay looks down; that hunt to find their mothers killer had consumed him so much, that when there wasn't a monster to take it out on, he took it out on her, blaming her for the fact that a week after she was born, their mother died. She could only hope the same thing didn't happen to Sam.

Dean glances at her and remembers his conversation with Sam. "Okay, all right, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man." Jay gives Dean a thank you look while Sam looks up and down.

"How do you two do it? How does Dad do it?" Jay glances at Haley and Ben. "For me it probably helps with the fact that I didn't know mom all that well-" "Yeah, it's a bit harder for me, but I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable." Jay rolls her eyes for what feels like the billionth time. "Took the words right out of my mouth Dummy." "Wait, dummy? That's the best you could think of?" "You know, Dean Boswell from X-Men? If you don't like that I could call you Lucy In The Sky, after Karolina Dean. Oh, and Sam, incase you were wondering, you're Nova, you know, after Sam Alexander." "Pass, but why does Sammy get a cool one? One other thing though, Sam." He glances up, relived at the argument end. "Killing as many sons of bitches as I possibly can."

The three snap their heads up at the sound of a twig snapping and someone beginning to cry for help.

"He's trying to draw us out. Just stay cool, stay put." Dean calls to the others. "So, inside the magic circle?" "Yes Red Arrow, inside the magic circle."

It continues to cry out for help, so Roy, in his complete and utter stupidity, shoots it as it runs by.

"I hit it!" He exclaim, running to see what he hit.

"No, Roy, don't!" Jay cries out after him, right before it reached down and snapped his neck.

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They couldn't do anything then, so they waited till morning. Dean and Sam are looking through Johns journal, while Jay talks to Ben and Haley.

"I don't...I mean, these types of things, they aren't supposed to be real." Jay sighs, having heard this about a bajillion times. "I wish I could tell you different, but welcome to my life." "How do we know it's not out there watching us?" "Ooh, a good logical question. The answer: we don't. But it only really hunts at night so we should be good for now."

Haley stares off into the distance while Ban rocks back and forth. Jay feels bad for them; their whole world had been practically blown to bits. The only reason she was okay was because she grew up with it.

She walks over to her brothers to discus strategist. "So we've got half a chance in the daylight. And I for one want to kill this evil bastard." "Well, hell, you know we're in."

Sam and Dean go over to the others to explain better what a wendigo is, and Jay walks over after they're done. "And then how do we stop it?" Jay smiles, holding up the last flamethrower she had found. "We gotta torch the sucker."

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The group makes their way through the forest, Jay and Dean in the lead, with her holding a flamethrower and him holding a scraped together half passable one as they pass trees covered in claw-marks and blood.

Later he and Sam switch, but Jay stays in the front with her never tiring pace. All of a sudden she stops in a clearing of broken branches and blood. "Am I the only one thinking this is way to easy?"

Growling starts up out of nowhere, and They whip around to see blood dripping on Haley, from Roy's corps in the trees.

"Okay, run, run, run, run, go, go, go! Haley, no, you can't save him."

Ben stumbles and falls, so Sam and Dean pick him up while Jay and Haley keep going, Jay half dragging her, only to stop short in front of the wendigo. Jay reaches for her flamethrowers, only to find that she dropped it.

"Fuck."

Sam and Dean keep running only to find Jay's flamethrower and hear Haley's scream.

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Sam, Dean and Ben continue hiking through the woods when Ben posses a question.

"If it keeps its victims alive, why would it kill Roy?" "Honestly? I think because Roy shot at it, pissed it off." Sam answers.

They stop short when they see a peanut m&m.

"Jay must have grabbed them, she's leaving a trail."

The three follow the trail until it reaches an abandoned mine.

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Sam shines the flashlight ahead of them and they hear growling, and he quickly shuts off the light and pulls Ben against the wall, the wendigo speeding towards them. Sam covers the new kid's mouth before he can scream, and thankfully Dean was against the wall as well.

The wendigo takes a different tunnel, so the three keep going. The floorboards creak. "Fuck." The three fall through the floor and land in a pile of bones. Ben spots a pile of skulls and leaps backward, barely remembering not to scream.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." Sam calms him down.

The three look up and see Jay and Haley hanging from their wrists, Haley out of it and Jay barely holding on to consciousness.

"Took... you... idiots long enough." The brothers sighed in relief at their sisters still spunky spirt while Ben ran over to his sister.

"Haley, Haley, wake up, wake up!" Sam cuts Jay down, while Dean goes over to help Ben, before moving to an empty section of floor.

"You sure you're okay?" The worried brothers say in unison. "I'm fine, chill."

Haley and Ben are standing up and staring at one of the bodies.

"Tommy..." The girl lets out a soft cry, touching his cheek, causing him to jerk back to life.

"Cut him down!" Haley screamed.

Dean leaps up to do as she says.

"We're gonna get you home." Haley whispers to her brother.

"Hey y'all, look at this." Dean holds up two flare guns. "These'll work." Sam and Dean lead with the guns and the others follow, supporting each other.

They hear growling and look at each other in varying levels of annoyance and fear.

"Looks like someone's home for supper." "Dean, like 90% of the time I love your cheekiness, but right now we have bigger issue. There's barely any way for you, Sam and Ben to out run it, and Haley, Tommy and I definitely can't."

Dean glances at his younger brother.

"You thinking what I'm thing?" Sam nods and Jay groans.

"Oh God, I hope not." She mutters.

"All right, listen to me. Stay with Sam. He's gonna get you out of here." "And let me guess, you're gonna be the dumbass distraction." "You know me all too well little sis!"

Dean starts walking down the tunnel in the opposite direction calling out into the darkness. "Chow time, you freaky bastard! Yeah, that's right, bring it on, baby, I taste good."

Jay rolls her eyes, but follows Sam as they start making their way out of the tunnel.

Dean keeps going shouting insults at the wendigo, but instead, the other group runs into it.

"Haley, Ben, take my sister and Tommy and go."

"What the fuck, I'm not leaving you Sam!"

"Go! Go! Go!" Haley starts supporting Tommy while Ben drags Jay out.

Sam stands at the ready, flare gun held strong. "Come on. Come on."

He hears growling and turns around to find the wendigo behind him. "Fuck." He shoots and misses, then runs after the Collinses.

"Sam!" Jay cries out after her brother.

"Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry." They all make it out of the tunnel, the wendigo right behind them, and Sam orders them to stand behind him, his large stature hiding them all.

The wendigo approaches slowly, as if already knowing it has won, but Dean comes up behind it.

"Hey!"

The wendigo turns around and he shoots it in the stomach, the flare going off and the monster going up in flames.

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Back at the rangers station Tommy gets loaded up into an ambulance, not Jay or Haley since they insisted they were fine. The rangers, interviewing Ben are in various states of disbelief as Sam stands behind him.

"And the bear came back again after you yelled at it?" "That's when it circled the campsite. I mean, this grizzly must have weighed eight hundred, nine hundred pounds."

Sam nods, hoping it brought a slight amount more sincerity into the other boy's statement.

"All right, we'll go after it first thing."

The two circle back to the others. "You did pretty dam good Lucy in the Sky and Nova." Dean groans. "Literally anything but that!" Jay smirks. "I'll think of a different theme tomorrow."

Haley finishes thanking Dean and she and Ben go into the ambulance to ride with their brother.

The three siblings get in the impala and start driving off.

"You know what we should do more often? Camping."

"Fuck no!"

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester #mary winchester #jay winchester #jay winchester chronicals #wendigo

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nityarawal · 5 months

Text

12/09/2023

John-June*

Morning Songs

What If

There Were Only 5

Names

Like In Indo

Or Christian

Psalms

What If

There Were

Only A Few

Beatles

What Would

We Do

Somehow

They Were Duplicated

Somehow They Breed

How'd All The

Yogis

Come Together

In A World Wide Web

In Case

You Forget

Your Childhood

In Case

It Was Really Bad

Please Remember

We Sang "Hey

Jude,"* For You

Got 2 Julian's

God Kids

One Jude

Please Remember

We Know

A Song

Is Never Enough

But If Your Dad

Is Gone

Like Millions

Of Military

Brats

Suffer

Through

Estrangement

Or The Queen's

Court

If Your Parent

Is Gone

On A Feloners

Plea

Please Don't Offer

Special Forces

Survival Services

Bloody Weapons

Special Forces

Or Boobs

In The Face

Motorboats

With Our Tax

Dollars

Embedded In Tesla

Stocks

Doje

Smearing

Beloved Bros

And Dogs

Flying To Mars

With Our

Hearts

Intact

Might Have Been

Possible

But,"Now

And Then,"*

I'm Not Really

Sure

"Now And Then,"

I Miss

My Father's Weathered

Hand

"Now And Then,"

My Own John

Sitting In Our

Driving Coast To Coast

In Love

Thinkin' How Lucky

I Was

"Now And Then,"

I Miss My Pa

My "Lennon" Brother

Overflowing

With Intelligence

Secret

Middle Name

"John"

"Now And Then,"

I Miss My Pa

His Weathered Hand

Was Like A

Beating Heart

For America

"Now And Then,"

I Miss My Pa

I Know I'll Never

Add Up Mamma

"Now And Then,"

I Miss

My Pa

I Wish That

J.D. Salinger

Cult Felony

Hadn't Gotten

Your John-

June

In The Name

Of Jihad*

"Catcher In The Rye,"

Twisted Anti-Semitism*

Like JFK

But That's Not

The Case With

"The Cajun Queen,"*

She's Spicey

Not Caged

James Dean

Not The Case

With Grandma Julia

If We Can't

Say Anything

Nice

About Reptiles*

At Court

The Attorneys

Who Broke

Our Son's Hearts

It Wasn't Her

June

It Wasn't Her

Jude

It Wasn't Her

Julian

Bambinos

All Those Pretty

Places

Tibetan Yogini

Retreats

India

Maharishi Days*

All Those "White,"

Houses In Bali

Japan

Indonesia

Thailand

It Wasn't Her

June

It Wasn't Durga*

It Wasn't Your

Own Eternal

Mother

Saraswati*

I Can Assure

You

From The "White Album"*

Oaths

It Wasn't Me

#Nitya4Eternity

Lakshmi*

Who Deleted

Your Songs

On Twitter*

Banned Us

With Gags

It Wasn't Me

I Miss The "Beatles"*

Just As Much

As Anyone!

(#4BillionMothersStrong Grieving Our Young.)

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

*June- "Dear" In Farsi

#Irany #WithLove

"Hey Jude," Written for Julian Lennon by Paul & John; in hideous atty driven court estrangement.

Love long unedited version they released- even if it's slightly Censored by BBC & UK politics.

Most songs I post of theirs get shadowbanned same day.

Very worried about Beatles kids & families. I think "Julia," was not only written for John's mom but also secretly for Julian and to tie him into his matriarchal lineage- even if cut short.

Often rockstars and royals had Divorce/custodial Gag orders from Queen that were so violent, they end in death; like John Lennon and Princess Diana.

"Now And Then," Amazing New Beatles Song Miraculously used #AI to revive John Lennon's vocals. As a reply everyone wants a Johnny doll. We feel they should be used only exclusively for close family in appropriate fatherly or husband manner; not a sex toy for government to manipulate and barter in AI as x has done with my children and I; his creator AI alien Grimesz.

Elon is nothing but a "Kiterunner" sex slave for America like Prince, Michael Jackson and so many atty puppets before them. Lab dads.):

*Jihad is a Anti Islamic term used when America creates Pseodo Terrorism and murders our great leaders and artists. #RIPJohnLennon #RIPJFK #Prayers4BoppaEternal xo

*Anti-semitism is a racist neo-nazi term often used by oppressors themselves Trafficking our women through government 9/11 internal domestic terrorism and wars abroad. This is gaslighting for "Nasa" when boys clubs won't allow our chivalrous men to behave appropriately, with honors, to deserve honors.

*Reptiles- Queen Elizabeth is Often referred to as the "Reptilian" Queen.

*Durga - Goddess Of Protection/Defense

*Saraswati-Goddess Of Art & Music

Lakshmi- Goddess Of Wealth & Prosperity

*White Album

Made In India

Beatles

With Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

*Beatles music & friends royalties also hacked by open #AI & atty crimes; aka Michael Jackson's living probate criminal estate. #FreeBritney

#Metoo

Whose a Meme?

Will we ever know????

We're all the nasty stories just evil smear campaigns?

Jai Guru Dev

#BeatlesKids

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trexrambling · 11 months

Note

Hello lovely,

I saw (with great excitement) that your requests are open. Maybe I'm lucky and you like my idea 🙏🥰

Dean and fem reader are on their way back to the bunker, after a hunt. From the beginning Dean was in a bad mood, cause he couldn't drive with baby, because his beloved vehicle needs an urgent repair, but the hunt couldn't wait that long, so they rent a car. On their way home they get into a bad snow storm, to that point that another car run them down into a ditch. So they have to wait for help. Because of his bad mood and him constantly snapping at her, she doesn't tell him that she was hurt during the hunt (a concussion). Due to the accident on the road she has now also a bleeding wound at her ribcage.

So they need to survive the cold night, but Dean in his bad mood doesn't notice at first that she's severely hurt. We see a grumpy and unfair Dean who constantly snaps at his normally beloved friend (friends to lovers trope?! 🥰 I know I know, there are a lot this stories, but I can't get enough of it xD) who develops to a care taking and worried friend, who tried everything to protect his injured girl.

What do you think? =) thanks for your writing ❤️

Hey there!

My requests are indeed open, but I'm currently a bit swamped with life and don't think I have the time to give this request the detail it deserves/you requested. I think it's a super cute idea and I love the combination of angst/hurt reader/snuggles/caring Dean/fluff. It's my kind of word burrito, for sure. It does sound like you have a good hold on the plot you're looking for...have you considered giving it a go? I would have never written and posted my first fic if it wasn't for a dear friend encouraging me to do so. You might surprise yourself with what you can write, and I'd love to read it if you do post (tag meeeee). Sorry I'm not available for this one, love!

#requests #love my lovelies #life is crazy right now #you should write ittttttt #i will read itttttttt #it will be wonderfullllllll #do ittttttttt

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mayonnaisetoffees · 2 years

Text

DtA Daily Day 4 (part 1)

Jerked awake at the unexpected noise, Castiel fights down the instinctive panic, blinking uncertainly into the gloom of the room, barely lightened by the weak grey light beginning to spill through the window. Which means it’s less than an hour before dawn, a time he didn’t expect to ever see again.

Far more unsettling, he’s beginning to suspect there’s been more than one of them.

So we are STRAIGHT back into DtA with a fun bit of intensity. Again, this comes back to depersonalisation of grief. Not only is Cas grieving (End!)Dean, he's grieving the world he assumed would end on Day 1. Grief can be strange in the way it makes you process time. The world continues around. When my mum's dad died, my dad drove her across the country to their best friend. They spent some time together and then he drove her back. My mum remembers none of this. I think Cas here has a similar thing. Not only has he been self medicating against the pain, but his brain has protected him from remembering the worst of the pain of the last few days. (I know Cas has a perfect memory bear with me I'll talk about that soon)

“Go away, Vera.”

Vera my absolute beloved. My best friend Vera. Light of my life Vera. This isn't quite the moment I fell in love with Vera, but it is so very close.

“You don’t remember?”

“I remember everything.” It’s true, even if at this moment he’s not quite able to retrieve the specific memory.

This here is how I'm reconciling the knowledge of Cas's perfect memory with the idea that his brain is protecting him. It's the mix of human and angel and not quite either that will be part of the theme of identity as we move through Down to Agincourt.

“Let’s make this easy on us both,” Vera continues flatly. “Hour after dusk to an hour before dawn, you’re stealth searching the entire goddamn city for Dean. I get it, you want to find him, everyone does, but going alone to Kansas City every night—Jesus Christ, even you’re not usually that stupid!”

“Why would you think—”

“Jeep’s still warm,” she says flatly. “I checked before I got here. Wanna try again?”

[...]Vera waits for a few pregnant moments before finally saying with an unmistakable quaver in her voice, “Cas, tell me—here, you can lie to me—that you aren’t going to the city while you’re fucked up—”

“Unless you wish to count speed, no. [...] I'm not an idiot.”

“Because three days of no sleep, that’s good for you,” she says acidly, but the relief in her voice strips the words of any heat. “Cas, why—I mean, I get it, it’s Dean, but come on. I know you can take care of yourself, but—look, right now, we can’t afford you—” She hesitates so briefly that he almost misses it, “—anyone taking that kind of risk right now. You know Dean’s orders as well as I do.”

“And I’m famous for my obedience.”

Lots of quote there but let's be real I could have quoted this whole chapter this is me showing restraint.

I absolutely love Vera's introduction. One of the things that I think Seperis does so well is creating the feeling of history behind things. Places where you understand that the places, the people, the relationships, in this fic have been around long before Day 1.

Here's what you learn in the first scene of meeting Vera:

Vera and Cas are close.

Vera is the one who came looking for Cas, the one who noticed the Jeep and put together a theory (bearing in mind she doesn't know about Dean this theory makes the most sense), and comes in with a clear Taking No Shit attitude that Cas plays off of.

Dean is not from here

What Vera sees as Cas being sloppy about hiding what he's doing is actually Dean not knowing how to cover his tracks at all. Or not even thinking he might need to. These people have been on high alert for years and Dean hasn't, not in the same way.

Vera is worried about Cas.

This is linked heavily to the above point, she worries about Cas because she cares about him, the two are intrinsically linked. She's angry at him and the risks he's taking (or at least that she perceives for him to be taking).

Something else is going on

“Cas, he’s alive. I know that, you know that, everyone knows that. I get it’s hard to wait, but—”

Now the slip of the tongue of "we can't afford you" changed to anyone might have been an emotional slip if it wasn't for two things: 1) she still said we not I 2) the chain of command later in this section

“We can’t afford for me to leave the camp.” Vera nods distractedly, glancing toward the door, and he notes the darkening circles beneath her eyes that he missed earlier, the weary slump of her shoulders beneath the oversized olive Army jacket, the barely-there tremble of hands locked together to hide it, but while bloodshot, the brown eyes are unnaturally alert for this early in the morning.

“You look tired. Is patrol more active than usual?”

And here we have Cas knowing Vera right back. He can see her and read her easily once he's paying attention.

“No, it’s fine, [...] Pretty quiet, actually, Amanda and Mel say day’s about the same, though, so no idea.”

Three days, what was he doing, why would Dean be going to the city; he can be stupid, but it usually involves some form of logic, however incomprehensible it might be to anyone but himself.

This is why I love Down to Agincourt. Because things that are throwaway lines on the first read are build up to something so much more significant on later reads.

“The camp is running smoothly?” he asks, never looking away from her face. “No panic, worry, belated realization that with Dean missing and all of his lieutenants dead we lack even a rudimentary command structure…” He closes his eyes at the way she stares at the wall just over his shoulder. “Please tell me I should be congratulating you on carrying out a successful coup on Chitaqua and you wish to be referred to as ‘Your Dread Majesty’.”

Again, it's the grief. It may be tedious that I'm pointing out grief again and again but genuinely the narrative is shaped by it particularly in the early chapters.

“It wasn’t a coup,” she says deliberately.

[...]“I don’t have time for this, so if you would, please explain who is currently in charge of Chitaqua since all of Dean’s lieutenants are dead in Kansas City?”

“Four of them are dead,” she corrects him. “One of them came back.”

“They think I’m getting orders from you,” she says simply. “Now, you got a choice.”

Okay as much as I will talk about the future coups becoming almost an inside joke by The Game of God, this first one? It isn't that at all. This is a calculated move on how best to keep the camp running. The situation is tense as fuck and this is about survival.

[...]“The answer is no.”

“You get your goddamn gun, walk outside, and give them their orders,” she continues flatly. “Or tell them I lied, you’re opting out, and good luck with that survival thing, because I’m sure as fuck not doing this for you.”

Castiel jerks his gaze back to Vera. “Why not? You’ve done an excellent job so far.”

“Fuck you,” she answers, brown eyes hardening. “Playtime’s over, Castiel; time to deal. What are you gonna do?”

Checking it automatically, he pauses, remembering the first time Dean handed him a gun and told him it was time he learned how to use it.

Again, this scene only works because of how well Cas and Vera know each other. She isn't going to take his shit and she gave him three days and now she needs him to step up. And despite everything, everything, in him that's wanted to check out the past few days, he does. He takes note of the information that things are strangely quiet on patrol. He remembers Dean's instructions on what to do in this kind of situation. And he comes up with a way to ensure that this Dean isn't able to go to Kansas City anymore.

“Cas,” Vera says slowly, “what happened in Kansas City?”

Dean said: Cas, it’s just you and me now. If we’re gonna do this, you have to learn everything you can.

“The team leaders were killed,” he tells her, sliding it into the holster before retrieving his knife from under a pillow. “Dean’s orders were for anyone who survived the confrontation to secure the camp until he was able to make contact.”

“He survived?” Vera licks her lips nervously. “You’re sure?”

Otherwise, you’re useless to me. So, what’s it gonna be?

“He’s alive,” Castiel answers, meeting her eyes. “Until he returns, his last order will be obeyed.”

[...]Closing his eyes, he thinks: I can’t do this.

“Cas?” Vera says quietly, and he feels a nudge against his arm. “You ready?”

Opening his eyes, he looks at the doorway to this tiny world within the protection of the wards. He has to be ready, because all they have is now. He has to be ready, he has to be, because the world is over and Dean’s dead, but asleep in his cabin is a man who doesn’t have anyone else.

So, what’s it gonna be?

“Yes,” he breathes. “I am.”

I can't wait until we get to The Game of God because there's a scene there which mirrors this one so beautifully and I'm going to scream about it so much. For now, let's talk about Cas and Dean.

In the first post I made about grief (HUGE spoilers for The Game of God ch14), I spoke about how in Map of the World part of what makes Cas's grief so painful is that he is so alone in it. Here, he's confidently telling Vera that Dean is alive. Because he has to. Because He has to be ready, because all they have is now. He has to be ready, he has to be, because the world is over and Dean’s dead, but asleep in his cabin is a man who doesn’t have anyone else.

[...] but all he can think is that Dean’s been dead three days and he’s still checking the wards as if he’s not.

Cas cannot let anyone else inside his grief with him because he cannot let anyone else know Dean has died at all. Because there is still a Dean here who needs his help. He still has a charge on earth who he will protect with his life. In my second post on grief in DtA (I find the theme fascinating okay?! - spoilers for A Thousand Lights in Space) I talked about how unique a situation this is. Dean is dead. Long live Dean. Cas lost the most important person in his life. But he has to keep moving because Dean is here and not only does he not have anyone else, I don't think Cas would ever trust anyone else with Dean. So even as the ghost of his Dean follows him through his movements, he pushes through. "Yes, I am." The world is over, now is all we have. Fuck yourself.

Abruptly, he finds himself seated on the rocky ground, unable to draw a full breath; the world’s over and Dean’s dead, but he’s not.

Pressing his forehead to his knees, a choked sound claws itself free of his throat and spills into the air; another follows, and another, and he can’t stop it or even control it, vomiting jagged-edged sobs it hurts to make and even more to hear.

It’s obscene, that he can possibly be alive in a world where Dean isn’t; it’s impossible, that he can live when most of him died three day ago and burned to ash before his eyes. Whatever this is can’t possibly be called living.

He can’t do this, he can’t survive this, no one could expect it of him. He can’t. He can’t.

Cas's pain is absolutely visceral here. It's clawing. It demands your attention. It's pure solitude and pain. The words Seperis uses here are evocative and scraping. The word choice runs you ragged as Cas. Grief claws up and spills out. Vomiting jagged edges. It's obscene. Dean is dead but Dean is alive and Cas is alive and he never meant to be and how is he meant to survive this. Cas was always meant to die with or before Dean, the man for whom he fell. And he did. He died with him in Kansas City. But he's also alive and now has to watch a man so alike Dean, so unlike Dean, and pretend that he is still whole.

(part 2)

#dta daily #dta day 4 #dta #map of the world #tw grief #i need to sleep but hopefully I'll get the rest of Day 4 done tomorrow #iirc the next day is 7 so i do have time

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multific · 3 years

Text

They Tend to Your Wound - Preferences

Dean Winchester

Dean promised to himself and you that if you were to get hurt by anything and he did mean anything at all, he would kill it. Even the smallest cut on your perfect skin, he would flip out and with a gun in his hand, he would go after the very thing that dared to put a wound on his beloved.

And this occasion was no different.

As soon as the werewolf dared to attack you and it left a nasty wound behind, Dean's mind was clouded.

You have seen him angry and worried, but seeing it this close was a new experience.

You didn't even realize what was happening until you were in an abandoned house, on a couch, with Dean by your side.

He was too busy looking at your wound and tending to it, he didn't realize that you woke up. It was nice to see him taking care of you. Usually, it's the other way around, he gets hurt and you have to help him get back on his feet. But you kinda linked him being on the other side of the spectrum now. Although you could do without the pain that you felt.

You smiled at his worried expression, he took such good care of you. You loved him.

"Dean?"

"Babe? Oh, Baby, don't ever scare me like that." he hugged you so tight you thought your eyes would pop out. But when you were in his arms, you just knew, everything will be okay.

Sam Winchester

The vampire that decided to bite your arm was for sure in a lot of trouble.

You were walking back to the motel from the supermarket when someone grabbed you and dragged you into an alleyway. You couldn't really register what happened, all you knew was the pain in your arm before you heard a woman scream.

You could recall Sam and Dean being there and then you were in the motel room.

You looked to your left and saw Dean sleeping in his bed while Sam was doing something on his laptop, surrounded by books.

"Sammy?" you barely heard your own voice, but Sam did because his eyes shot up at you and he quickly made his way over to you, he slowly hugged you making sure he is not hurting your arm.

"I thought I lost you, Y/N!”

"I'm here, Sammy." you hugged him back just as close as he did.

You just knew that from that moment on, you'll never be allowed to leave the room alone, with that protective boyfriend of yours.

Castiel

He was still in shock. Why did you jump in front of him? Why did you feel the need to save him?

Because you loved him.

And when you saw the knife pointed at him, you acted out of instinct, you didn't think. You just jumped right into action.

You felt the knife pierce your skin. You felt it in your flesh as the woman stabbed you. But you didn't care, in your head, you saved the most important person in your life.

It wasn't only later when you woke up in the hospital you realized just what a mess you made. Castiel was an angel, he couldn't possibly get hurt by a simple knife! How silly could you be?

"Y/N?" you didn't even realize that he was in the room.

"Cas." you offered him a smile as he looked even more worried. "Why did you do that? You know I can't get hurt."

"I know but... I acted on instinct. I didn't think. I'm sorry I made you worry." you said as he placed a hand over your wound. You saw a white light, and just like that, you felt a lot better.

Your wound was healed.

You were about to say something when he kissed you, silencing you in the process.

"Don't do that again." he said when he pulled away. But you pulled him right back for another kiss.

Taglist: imreadinggoaway @fleursirvart @v-2bucky ehsebastiancrunch-time-sports @pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmilersmexylemony @greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @avengers-r-us @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster celebsimagine @capsiclesdoll snoopy3000 @firstangeldragonranch @puknow crazzyter @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 scream-kiwi79 @lxdyred @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl

Supernatural Taglist: @fandomout

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

My taglist is open!

Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my story!~

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twoheadedcas · 2 years

Text

isaiah 65

dean/cas, 4k, rated m, alt s6, mindwipenatural, heed the tags pls

(17) For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.

***

“Did you—did you wipe my fucking memories?"

Cas tilts his head, little worry lines scrunching between his furrowed brows.

"Of course I did, Dean." A pause. “Are you starting to remember? I was hoping it would stick.”

And oh God, Dean can’t help but hear an unsaid this time tacked onto the end of that sentence. He nods, afraid to open his mouth. “I—”

“Then you must remember doing this to Lisa and Ben. Right?”

Time stops.

“Don’t you remember?” Cas asks again. “We did it to Lisa and Ben, to protect them. We allowed them a chance at happiness. Is that not acceptable? Do you not deserve the same?"

"Yeah—but—but, it's different, you—you can't—" Dean sputters, cognitive abilities completely short-circuiting. He doesn’t even remember Lisa and Ben very well; he can see their faces if he tries, but it’s like looking underwater. The details are fuzzy, but he thinks he knows what happened, and it is not the same as whatever the hell it is that Cas did to him. It’s not.

"There’s no difference," Cas says. Insists. "You loved them, and you wanted them safe. I love you and want you safe. What's so wrong about that, Dean?"

And isn't that the question? What is so wrong about it? There's an unspoken accusation hidden in Cas's words, a woe unto ye hypocrites woven between each consonant and vowel. Why is it only wrong when I do it? When it's done to you? Why is it okay reversed?

Who made you God?

read the rest on ao3!

beloved taglist/mutuals under the cut (lmk if u would like to be added or removed!)

@deanpegged @fimmfstiel @rambleoncas @destieldisaster @doemons-blog @buzzbuzzbitches @butchnatural @dojacas @socialistcastiel @ilysmb @deanisbisexual @rosescas @faithroad @ayo-cowbelly

as always no obligation to rb or anything <3 thanks yall!!

#i lowkey feel bad abt tagging anyone in this one bc. well. it is a little wretched i will not lie #but i figured we're already angsting over the finale tn #might as well throw my sick n twisted hat in the ring #have some deranged godstiel to take ur mind off it #still not super confident that it all makes sense lol but i tried my best #my fic #rambleoncas #seraphcastiel #castiellesbian #offbeattraxx #thisisapaige #seffersonjtarship #userpris #cowboykait #queenrowenas #userkels #plantdadcas #playedwright

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the-gray-ghosty · 1 year

Text

#spn meme #samdean as animals #samdean #protective/worried dean my beloved #sam winchester #spn #sam and dean #supernatural #dean winchester #mine

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aoitrinity · 3 years

Text

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

3K notes · View notes

babesonly · 3 years

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fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful��gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

An ethics lesson from Hell

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

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