#process reality

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*peering down at my own genetic sequence* uh-huh uh-huh bold choice bold fucking choices my friend

#and i don't have veto power over any of this? that Cannot be correct information #there must surely exist an Appeal Process or #*me discovering how any of reality's systems function* this can not POSSIBLY be how this system functions #*scribbling furiously filling an entire college ruled notebook DOUBLE-SIDED with a list of design flaws to present to the court*

[julijbee]

girlbossing too close to the sun.

#art #ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator #i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books #vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading #ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working #let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny.. #posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned. #morrowind #almalexia #vivec #im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment #so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized #it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor #and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result #i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was #vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking #acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention #like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is #but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc #anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving #but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials #and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc #so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize #and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough #the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right #that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things #and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that #important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree #oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad. #tes

[laundrybiscuits]

Eddie’s doing some dumb trick with a couple of wooden spoons, clever hands making them move through the air in improbable ways, and Steve’s about to bite his whisk in half. 

He’d thought for sure that Eddie would be going home the first week; Edward Munson, 29, bartender/musician from Brighton with mismatched tattoos and wild hair, seemed like exactly the kind of pretentious asshole who would flame out early with some ill-advised hipster experimentation. If Steve (28, social worker from Indiana, USA) had been a complete asshole, he’d have said that Eddie didn’t have the fundamentals. That he was all sizzle, no steak. 

It’s a good thing Steve’s not a complete asshole, because Eddie’s been blowing the technicals out of the water so consistently it’s actually pretty fucking embarrassing. His signatures and showstoppers are making a very respectable showing too, except for the time he tried to incorporate some fresh pandan extract and fucked up the liquid ratio, leaving him with a dripping mess that Mary’d declined to even try. 

Afterwards, Steve had seen him leaning against a tree and struggling to light a cigarette. Steve went over for no particular reason, flicking on his lighter and holding it out like a peace offering. Eddie looked at him warily, but bent over the offered flame. 

“Can’t believe I made it through this one,” Eddie said after a moment, white smoke curling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I feel like that every week.” Steve leaned against the tree next to Eddie. It was a big tree, the kind that’s probably been growing in this field since before England was even England. 

“Nah, but—c’mon, you know what I mean.”

“You had some bad luck with your showstopper. Happens to the best of us, man. Your signature hand pies looked sick as hell.” Steve’s own hand pies had turned out pretty well, so he was feeling generous. It had only been the third week; plenty of time for Steve to snag Star Baker, though even by that point, Steve had been getting the creeping feeling that he was being a little too American about the whole thing. Everyone else seemed to think competitiveness was some kind of deadly sin. It was—actually kind of nice, to get the same kind of nerves he’d always gotten before high school basketball games, but know that he wasn’t really fighting against anyone except himself in the tent.

Anyway, the very next week, Eddie had done some kind of kickass gothic castle with a shiny chocolate dragon and gotten Star Baker for the second time. Steve had clapped him on the back, appropriately manly. Eddie had pulled Steve into a real hug, arms tight around Steve’s shoulders and his whole lean body pressed up close and warm. It had only lasted a moment, and then Eddie had bounded over to Mel and Sue, both of whom he’s been thoroughly charming since the get-go. 

Steve thinks that when this season—or, uh, series—airs, no matter where Eddie places, the entire country is going to be just as charmed. Eddie’s going to get whatever kind of cookbook deal or streaming show he wants. Sponsors will take one look at that handsome face and charismatic grin, and a whole world of possibilities is going to open up for Eddie. 

Steve’s not in it for any of that, of course. He’s here kind of by accident, because Robin pushed him to apply, and it’s a goddamn miracle he’s been holding his own. Hell, it’s a miracle he’s in this country at all. When Robin had started looking at the Cambridge MPhil program in linguistics, she’d said wouldn’t it be great if and he’d snorted, yeah right, like I could ever get whatever job I’d need to move to another freaking country, but then—well. Things had happened the way they’d happened, and now Robin’s almost finished with her degree and Steve is taking time off from the London charity he works at in order to be on Bake Off. 

He’s told all this to the cameras, plus the stuff about how baking started as a way for him to connect with the kids he used to babysit in Indiana, blah blah blah. He thinks it’s probably too boring for them to air, but he gets that they have to try to get a story anyway. 

Eddie Munson, on the other hand, is probably going to be featured in all the series promos. Steve is rabidly curious about what Eddie’s story is, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to just ask. It should be the easiest thing in the world. They’ve got kind of a camaraderie going, the two of them; a bit of a bromance, as Mel’s put it more than once. 

It’s true they get along pretty well, and the cameras have been picking up on it: on the way Eddie’ll wander over to Steve’s bench like a stray cat whenever they get some downtime, how they wind up horsing around sometimes, working off leftover adrenaline from the frantic rush of caramelization or whatever. There’s the time Eddie had hopped up on a stool to deliver some kind of speech from Macbeth, of all things, and overbalanced right onto Steve, who had barely managed to keep them both from careening into a stand mixer. Sue had patted Eddie on the shoulder and said, “Well, boys, that’ll be going in the episode for sure.”

They both get along with the other contestants just fine, of course, but they’re two guys of about the same age with no wife and kids waiting at home. It’s only natural that they’re gravitating together, becoming something like friends, Steve figures. It’s pretty great that he’s getting at least one real friend out of this whole thing.

It would be even greater if Steve could stop thinking about Eddie’s hands in decidedly non-friendly ways. With all the paperwork he’s signed, he can’t even complain to Robin about how Eddie looks with his sleeves pushed up to show off the tattoos on his forearms, kneading dough and grunting a little under his breath with effort. Steve had almost forgotten to pre-heat his oven that day. 

Two benches away, Eddie fumbles the spoons he’s been juggling with a clatter, and he bursts out laughing, glancing over at Steve like Steve’s in on the joke. Steve grins back, heart twanging painfully in his chest, and thinks: well, fuck. Guess this is happening.

#this is a TRULY bonkers AU like wtf even is the venn diagram of steddie fans and people who exclusively like the BBC GBBO #I know nothing about the process of creating reality tv so I most likely will not be continuing this #(plus ST is just so intrinsically American to me) #but I saw the GBBO musical last week and that's what prompted this little abomination #steddie #GBBO AU #ETA: ftr I rated the GBBO musical 2.5/5. I have a colour-coded spreadsheet. #decent songwriting & solid performances but the emotional beats/pacing were all over the place and it did some weird revisionist callbacks #plus the level of assumed thirst for not!Paul Hollywood was wildly off-putting to me #a person who finds neither his personality nor his appearance in any way attractive #anyway I paid £15 for my ticket and that felt right to me. I will see literally any show for £15.

[eldritch-thrumming]

ok I’ve been sucked into The Ultimatum: Queer Love on Netflix and just…

Steve is in a relationship where he clearly wants more than the other person. He and his partner have been together for three years and it’s reached the point where Steve has told him, “marry me or I have to go.” The dude is some kind of wannabe Instagram model, so he jumps at the chance to do reality tv.

Eddie’s on the opposite end of the negotiations. He loves his partner, but he’s not sure he really believes in the institution of marriage.

Both couples decide to try this new reality show.

Steve and Eddie clearly catch each other’s eyes on the first night, the camera catching both of them staring at each other between all the couples introducing themselves. They don’t get much time to speak that first night, but that’s okay. They’ve got plenty of time to say hi during the speed dating round.

Except that once they meet, they don’t want to talk to anyone else. Eddie is practically dragged away by producers so that he’s forced to talk to the others. The camera doesn’t miss the longing looks they send each other, though.

After that second episode, they’re immediately fan favorites. The chemistry between them is palpable even through the screen. Everyone’s just waiting for them to choose each other at the selection dinner.

And of course they do, as both their partners sit next to them rolling their eyes. They go to bed the first night of their trial marriage wrapped around each other, whispering and giggling. The mics can’t exactly pick up what they’re saying, but the cameras catch their smiles and the way their fingers intertwine between them above the comforter.

The audience loves watching the two of them fall in love over the next three weeks of their trial marriage. They’re sweet to each other, clearly thinking about each other’s needs and checking in when things seem hard. They meet each other’s friends. When Eddie meets Steve’s best friend, Robin, it’s like the three of them have known each other for years. When Eddie sneaks off to the bathroom, leaving Steve and Robin alone at the restaurant table, Robin takes the moment alone to give Steve her stamp of approval on Eddie.

After the three weeks are up, they’re supposed to go into a trial marriage with their original partners. The audience doesn’t see this, but Eddie and Steve try to refuse. They know what they want and it’s each other. They’ve made their decisions. But the producers remind them that they’ve signed contracts and they have to see the process through to the end.

They’re both uninterested in their partners. It’s clear that neither original relationship was the right fit now. It’s clear even to their original partners. They’re not even really doing a trial marriage; they’re all just roommates trying to make it through to the end.

When Steve and Eddie are finally reunited at the final selection, to no one’s surprise, they choose each other. There’s no hesitation on either side. They want each other. They’re both sure.

They’re married within the year and their wedding is filmed by Netflix. For the next season of the show, Steve and Eddie host. Ten seasons in, they’re still as in love as ever and, unfortunately for Netflix, the show’s one and only success story.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steddie ficlet #reality tv au #lol #i promise something better is coming but europe is rotting my brain #my anxiety is at an all time high and I can’t process anything else but dumb television and TikTok’s but I have something better #almost done in my drafts I promise lolololololol #steve harrington #eddie munson

[melowoof]

#rats #ratposting #ratblr #mouse #mice #naturecore #digital art #aesthetic #art #editorial #forest #dreamcore #dreamy #dream #flash photography #post photography #film photography #photography #post processing #void #animals #pretty #liminal reality #weird aesthetic #weirdcore #weird art #weird stuff #creepy aesthetic #nature #album art

[arsenicflame]

i think the reason izzy can be so blasé about his relationship with ed is not because hes taken to blaming a shark instead, but because hes actually already done a lot of the processing in the previous episode.

hes mourned his leg, hes had his drunk crying rants. hes gone through the five stages of grief. and then? the crew reaches out to him, offers him their support. they make him a new leg, they nominate him their new figurehead. when he stands there on the prow of the ship, leg on, letter in hand, thats his acceptance, thats his moving on.

#sure maybe then deciding to erase ed from the situation isnt healthy- but it is conducive to his continued healing #it helps him not carry the weight #maybe he needs that to be able to live on a boat with ed #its obvious to me that he has blamed ed for this- he voted him off the boat. #but now? now he needs to move on. #the crew has him. they proved that they have him. #he looks so fucking happy stood there as their new figurehead and maybe thats all that matters #that he finds a new way to be happy #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #is this obvious to everyone else and im just slow on the uptake orrrrr #idk i felt like. yeah hes actually already done a lot of what lucius is doing now. hes processed! hes over it #or. not over it but found a way to fit it into his reality. to be able to keep going about his day #idk!!!!! #slight clarification- i definitely think. he should keeo working on it! he needs to like. actually speak to ed; for a start #but i just don't think hes completely ignoring the whole situation i think he has properly processed the trauma he just is avoiding #specifically the 'ed' part of it

[therealjosephcranor]

Tbh I think people are clipping the wrong part of the Ivantill kiss like - okay yes the big sweeping kiss is BEAUTIFUL. But have you all seen. the last kiss. the tiny, sweet kiss Ivan gives Till just before he starts to choke him. When they make eye contact and you can see the determination and love in Ivan's eyes, and for the first time, Till finally sees him back.

#alien stage #also Till's hella uncomfortable in that initial shot haha #it's still an excellent kiss don't get me wrong! BUT THAT LAST KISS. that's the one that haunts me #alien stage round 6 #ivantill #do you know how downbad the doomed yaoi has to be to make ME. the most aroace person I know. go this feral #I'm losing it! #I was running on 0 hours of sleep when i wrote this so tag edit — when i said that big kiss was beautiful i meant visually #I do think in reality it kind of sucks for both of them! #I don't think either want it to be like That and Till clearly hasn't even had time to process that this is even happening At All so #but i think that's why that quick lil kiss is so good #it's Ivan saying I love you. and I'm sorry

[everysongineverykey]

don't hug me i'm scared episode 6 electricity is really something when you're autistic, huh. yellow guy is made fun of all his life by his only friends and laughed at for being "stupid" when all he needed was a change of batteries but no one would listen to him and give him the accommodations he needed and deserved and when he finally did get new batteries and become more clearheaded his friends didn't like him any better. they stopped making fun of him, sure, but they didn't like that he was "smart" all of a sudden, because they'd gotten used to him being "the stupid one". and he looked in the mirror and saw his former self, and his reflection asked him, "have we gone wrong? they seem upset with us" because the truth is even if the way you are now is more comfortable for you, even if it doesn't hurt to think anymore, people will only ever like you if you're the Right Kind of autistic/adhd/traumatized/whatever. have we gone wrong? have we gone wrong? that's what you always ask yourself. "maybe they're not in charge of us anymore." "maybe they never were." and his reflection walks away, as if accepting that the others will think what they will think, and it won't matter, because yellow guy is his own person, no matter how difficult it is for him to articulate his thoughts, and he doesn't need their approval to think. "maybe they never were."

#dhmis #don't hug me i'm scared #yellow guy's conversation with his reflection lives in my head rent free just so you know. #it's so important to me that although he's 'awakened' now- the part of him that's sensitive to what other people think #is still represented by his former self. the 'stupid' version of him. the naive hopeful kid who was mesmerized by a butterfly #and wanted to work with coworkers in a factory and missed duck so much when he died he dug him up #and hated himself for being 'stupid in the head' when he forgot the computer password. #even when yellow guy is clearheaded enough to see through the fabric of his reality #that part of him is still very much present and important in his life and thought processes. #it confuses me that some people seem to see the batteries as a metaphor for a 'cure' for autism or whatever. #to me the batteries are like adhd or schizophrenia medication or antidepressants. they make life easier #while you're dealing with a condition that would normally make moving through a neurotypical world pretty hard. #yellow guy is still the same person. he still cares about his friends' opinions. he's just much more clearheaded and articulate than usual.

[rosekasa]

something that absolutely changed the way i approach goals was realising that it's never the thing that you want, but rather the feelings that you believe it will give you. without striving for those feelings, the thing is not going to make you happy.

for example, until i was eighteen i would daydream about having a Real Best Friend. like i wanted my disney channel bff you know?? and getting older felt a lot like 'okay it'll happen when i get to secondary school' 'okay it'll happen when i get to sixth form' 'okay it'll happen in fandom' and it just. never did. i kept getting sucked into friendships that made me feel shit about myself while all the people that seemed to want to be close to me would, for some reason, make me feel uncomfortable. but it was at the point where i was like, okay. what do i really want from a friend? is it the actual object of A Friend or is it what i feel like A Friend would allow me to do? so instead of looking for that Real Best Friend, i started allowing myself to feel like i deserved a Real Best Friend. i stopped deleting my messages even if i thought they were embarrassing, and i stopped worrying that people would think im annoying if i messaged them first, and i stopped being scared of being 'too much' whenever i shared my interests.

and you know what? within two months i GOT that Real Best Friend. within a few more i had Multiple of those Real Best Friends. it's been three years since that shift in my life and it's like All my friends are like my disney channel bff friends -- they genuinely care about me, they genuinely like me as a person, they invite me to their houses, they cook for me, they buy me random things when they think of me, and most of all they make me love myself more, when for my entire life the trade off for a friendship always felt like i had to hate myself a little.

idk. i just think it's worth remembering that the feeling of something is the most important thing to strive for. a thing without feeling is nothing

#this is... also VERY relevant to weight loss/diets #not gonna get into it too deeply but just like. if youre trying to lose weight #id really suggest you focus mostly on all the emotional/mental benefits you think being at your gw will give you #(e.g. confidence in a certain dress or not having to over think your snacks) #because trust me when i say if you hate yourself into getting to your goal weight you're still going to hate yourself at that weight #your mental state and your thought processes are like stained glass and they will colour whatever reality is in front of you #♡alizeh talks♡

[ahappydnp]

need a dapg video where it's just like 'what happened behind the scenes of this moment'

wanna hear them talk about the angry bookstore dad or how they genuinely felt after those insane m&g crowds at vidcon/sitc or how much shit they talked after a youtuber event or what were they feeling after the first tatinof show

#like not necessarily the big moments or even private stuff but like the emotions behind the scenes? #idk i was rewatching an old zoella vlog where 7000 fan were surrounding them in london #and she had a moment after where she verbally processed what just happened and how she was feeling about everything #and i cannot fathom dnp ever being that vulnerable ESPECIALLY in that era but now?? #tell me how it actually felt to see thousands of people scream for you or what was the most surprisingly overwhelming moment #or when did the reality of this life actually Hit

[maddies-chronicles]

me, deluding myself into thinking i shifted every time i misread a word:

#every time i'm like 'it said smth different before' #GASP 'I SHIFTED' #yes hale u got it bby thats the answer #not ur processing disorder #shifting community #shifting realities #reality shift #shifting antis dni #reality shifting #shifting #shifters #desired reality #shift #shiftblr #shifting memes

[wheelie-sick]

"I can't stop playing video games I'm so paralyzed" vs my mouth and face are slowly paralyzing themselves because my immune system won't stop attacking my cranial nerves. I gag and choke on everything I swallow including my own saliva- this is dangerous. I drool, both in my sleep and when I'm awake. I slur my speech which makes people think I am drunk. I have strabismus.

#cranial nerve palsy #<- what my neurologist suspects I have I'm still in the DX process #systemic lupus erythematosus #<- what caused the cranial nerve palsy #adhd paralysis #decision paralysis #<- not things I'm tagging this so people using these terms fucking see the reality of paralysis #dysphagia #sialorrhea #strabismus #dysarthria #physically disabled #physical disability #cripplepunk #cripple punk

[completeoveranalysis]

[8]

WATANUKI WISH BABY TO FILL THE LAVA LAMP VOID?

WATANUKI BEING BORN OUT OF A WISH TO SAVE SAKURA’S LIFE

WATANUKI EXISTING AS LIVING COLLATERAL TO FILL THE SPACES LEFT BEHIND

AND THEN IN TURN BEHIND LEFT BEHIND ALL OVER AGAIN

Also I’m just. Reeling over the fact that Lava Lamp didn’t know Watanuki at all before this moment. And yet later pre-paid something to Yuuko to keep him alive when he fell out that window. 

Just like how Lava Lamp saw Clone Syaoran being born and shoved half his soul in him, hoping that he’d eventually grow enough of his own that he’d become his own person. 

Lava Lamp ending up with two sort-of kind-of brothers, and caring about them instantly and wanting them to survive and be their own person, even when he’s so intently focussed on saving Sakura. 

Lava Lamp really ripping himself apart to save everyone close to him he possibly can. 

#And that’s not even touching on like #Being told ‘ok heres your replacement’ #‘Heres the son your parents will love instead of you’ #'since you left them behind' #'‘Heres the person living the life you should have lived’ #OOF #Gosh the hits just keep on coming don’t they #Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 201 #Watanuki #Lava Lamp Guy #Evil WOlverine #AND WOOPS HERE’S THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR CHOICES #YET ANOTHER ENTIRE LIFE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR #This poor fucking thirteen year old just trying to do hsi best #And reality tearing itself apart around him in the process

[queerstudiesnatural]

iconic gilmore girls rorydean "because i love you, you idiot! 😩" scene except it's dean and cas post empty rescue having an argument, and cas says he's leaving the bunker for a while because he needs some space, and dean goes after him and asks cas to stop as he's about to get into his truck, and cas goes why?? with his usual passive aggressive snark, and dean goes "because i love you, asshole!!! 😠" and they both pause for a second and then crash into each other and fall into a big pile of limbs on the garage floor

#rain posts #idk why in all of my fics and poems dean is always super sweet to cas when he confesses his love #when in reality i do think he does it while yelling and possibly insulting or hitting cas in the process #it's okay though cas doesn't mind violence is how they express love they're a bit fucked up like that #destiel #gilmoregirlsnatural

[on-ae]

was asked about my colour choices, i tried making a quick diagram

#tried keeping this clean but in reality it's a very messy process

[northern-passage]

i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself

in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)

which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.

and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….

there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.

#anyways. is this anything #sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble #especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me #cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness #is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention #also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers #that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it #that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding #and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷 #and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically #as in it's only good representation if it represents Me #which sucks. and you're never going to please those people #ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird #this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times #and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project #personal